For the past three years of The Rational Male there’s been a consistent presence in the comment threads of guys seeking advice for particular situations with regards to Game. Whether it’s fine tuning certain aspects of Game or a larger consensus of the guys participating in my comment threads it’s become obvious there’s a need for a dedicated page and comment thread to address these Field Reports.
So I’m instituting this page for exactly this. If there is some urgency to have members of The Rational Male community analyze your particular situation feel free to hit anyone up in the comments of my current post, but please refer them to your particular field report with a link to your comment here. I’m hoping this will alleviate the mass of posts for field report analysis and Game specific insights piled into the main blog post for any given week.
There will be some rules for this “forum” as such. I ask that you only keep your comments to addressing the field reports at hand and save your larger theoretical stuff for the main posts, or if relevant, keep the “bigger scope of things” posts to being as succinct as possible. There will be no moderation in this comment thread (spamming excepted), so realize it will be a very hot kitchen before you post. I will impose no restrictions on video links here, nor will I limit links to various, but pertinent articles.
Understand, this is an experiment for now. It’s likely this comment thread will exceed thousands of comments. I’ll be instituting new comment plug-ins for wordpress to deal with this in the future, but I may archive this page the the posts and refresh this page in the future as well. If this gets cumbersome I may simply institute a dedicated forum-style sub-site of The Rational Male to accommodate for Game specific questions.
So have at it, post your field reports and feel free to comment on the ones you have some particular insight for. Be forewarned that it’s likely things may get a bit salty at times and I expect a lot of back & forth with debate and disagreements, but that’s what this thread is for – to hash out Game particulars for your given situations.
@j Thanks for replying. If this is the same bar you frequent with your wife, then she probably knows you’re married (“I can’t go to his place, let me see if I can get him to come to my place with plausible deniability about the country bar”), seen you DHVing by dancing with other girls including her friend (*tingles*), then ya it’s safe to say she wanted to bang lol I don’t go to any bar with my wife, except to watch sports occasionally. Mrs. Gamer went with me twice in four years to a country bar where there’s dancing.… Read more »
LOL the pc is strong here I know right I’m just gonna reply to IAS here and then leave this shit be, this crazy narrative of me being some kind of racist is really messing up my mindset, and I need to get in a good one for next weekend — I don’t work at all then so can go out a bunch. @IAS there is a vibe of underlying racist sentiment that would come across even if you used different words. Right…because when one of the main themes of my FRs is that I am tired of being around… Read more »
Hank
If we could bottle that Gamma we could get off fossil fuels…
@sentient
lol
oh, found an actual club around here… well, sort of. its more like a fast food club, if that makes sense. not super nice, but its a place where a lot of people hang out outside on the porch and inside. I had a shitty time out when I found it — NO ONE was out at the other venues. Lots of wandering around not being able to talk to anyone. By the time I found this place, it was jam packed and very loud and I had gotten too much in my head. Chatted up a few people, but… Read more »
@Everyone: many thanks for your enduring patience with my e-mail saga situation. She didn’t “surprise” me with friends. Meet in the isolation place, hug, cheek kiss, leaves her car there, gets into my car. She knew the venue so I turn off the GPS and she gives directions. Park relatively close to venue, walk there. She paid the tickets to the event (later on when we grabbed some food I wanted to pay but she paid as well). I was aware that there was a high likelihood of someone she knows being there so I needed to keep all kino… Read more »
@IAS
You should’ve fucked her.
@IAS – good for taking it this far (although I’ve long said the juice isn’t worth the squeeze with this much effort). That said, yes, main problem clearly you didn’t sexualize enough. I bet you didn’t laser or kino or talk about sexual topics enough. Otherwise you coulda had this one (don’t know if you could have gone all the way to a lay, but you could def have had her turned on and desiring you). Also never leave the kiss right for the end..earlier the better, and there’s no harm with being rejected for the kiss – you just… Read more »
IAS “So my analysis: we like each other, the kino was more tender than sexy. It’s like I’m in high school or something. I probably enjoy the tenderness too much,” Good analysis. So you didnt fuck her. OK. But so what? You know why. You had a nice time out. No regrets. Yes you could have and should have escalated more if you wanted to fuck. But you were caught up in the moment and didnt want to risk rejection. Good learning experience. From her reactions she likes you. She was also paying to avoid implicating herself if anything happened.… Read more »
IAS “She moves into to kiss my cheek again” So here… With any girl. She is moving in. She is! Keep her in your arms. Move to her cheek, her ear and nuzzle and down her neck nuzzling. Then go back to lazer eyeing nose to nose and watch if she titls her head back slightly or starts to close her eyes. Dont break the embrace… You can even press your hips into hers and see if she pushes back… Go back in with eye contact 90% there and she if she meets you the 10%. You have to get… Read more »
IAS So I give her my hand and pull her up. Push her hard against the wall and go to kiss her, but now she gives me the cheek, says she won’t kiss me. LOL. I pull back, I ignore her lips, just graze her cheek with mine and then slowly, slowly, slowly run my cheek and lips down her neck very very lightly up and back to her ear and back down. No tongue…! No sucking! this isn’t high school man (Greg Elliot do you get the reference?)… this is something I picked up I think on Sedfast. delay…… Read more »
LOL the High School reference from that FR… Players were playing back in the day… Daygame Circa 1983 Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore…. I was walking up Broadway you know and there’s this incredible looking Swedish girl having a Cappuccino across the street from Lincoln Center, I started talking to her you know – She said her name was Lola, Her English wasn’t too good you know – but we wound up spending about 5 hours together just hanging out you know. So We go back to my place – we get high – we get really… Read more »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82vvqDz5dEU
cleaner version… lolz
@IAS
Way to go, brother! Yes, you may have left some opportunity on the table but from the FR your approach improved dramatically and the calibration was key!
Now build on your field experience here and before you know it your ability will match your intentions.
@Catchers: thanks, and again, your message made me realize I need to make an actual move this time. I did, even though it wasn’t perhaps the most convincing. She can rationalize it away but there is no doubt in the moment she knew what I was going for, as she moved the head back. @Culum: I know, but the only times I had her in actual isolation was at the very start and at the very end. Arguably I wimped out of doing it at the very start because I didn’t want to risk it before I got some fun… Read more »
IAS
A good time to reduce your availability to her and getting in depth in your responses… Let her feel she miss stepped but no butthurt attitude on your part. Shift the dynamic. Once she starts to chase it’s on.
Would be interested to hear what the jury thinks of this one. At the conclusion of our date Wednesday I setup our next time together for tonight which included a trip to a special event together. (special for me) We’re in the car and I park near her place – indirectly she indicates I’m just dropping her off but we kiss passionately for a while and she exits the car. This is the first night together since we became intimate that we did not have sex at the conclusion of our date. At the time I took it as a… Read more »
@ Catchers Non-Pua perspective ahead – Her level of interest isn’t pegged into the red. That’s not really a problem at all as you will get the opportunity at another time. No skin off your nose. As for the ” needy ” thing, I didn’t read it that way at all ( again, I’m not following pua dictates, just man on the street ). If you plan on spending time with a chick, and it gets sidetracked for whatever reason, no big deal. How are you supposed to get with a girl if you always take a stance that ”… Read more »
Wait a tick….. you are taking her to a special event…… and she ain’t yet earned said special event with the best blow job of your life?
Fuck that shit and fuck taking her to anything more special then milkshakes at McDonald’s
Oh shit, lol.
@Blax “Her level of interest isn’t pegged into the red.” Hit the nail on the head. “Do you plan on trying to raise or peak her interest levels?” Now that you mention it, post lay, my interest has waned a bit but I do enjoy spending time with her and when we are intimate it’s fantastic. Our personalities are very compatible, similar sense of humor, and we have fun together. The old me would be pursuing an LTR with her but the current me is stuck on her age as she’s a bit older than I am and I’d ideally… Read more »
@ Catchers
Then you have no concerns. Lol. Reflection is good. Demoting plates is even better.
Re: Limit on the lake *innocently* I wasn’t aware of a limit, I swear. There were still fish left when I was done, so no harm no foul ( although the channel cat populace took a hit ).
Catchers “Her level of interest isn’t pegged into the red.” Hit the nail on the head. And the question is why? Also why so formal? Why no “Come over” booty call to her? When I was dated… After a few get togethers things were always very informal and she would generLly be either wanting to get together or just showing up at my place… Until they tried the shit test for more… Odd. I suspect you fall into BF/GF frame too quickly… Not lover Alpha fucks frame… Examine your game, time to level up Catchers… They should be chasing you…… Read more »
Dating…
Fun time field report First asked a Texas girl to dance, but she didn’t have dance shoes…so she danced with me barefoot…was continually complimenting me on my lead. I also asked a very lovely blonde to dance…she was suffering from hypermammiferosity so she couldn’t be a model and too pretty to be a professional girl…twenty inch waist, maybe…think Ivanka Trump…she looked at her two gorgeous companions after I asked…I looked at them, too…deadpan expressions on the girls…not a thumbs up…implied thumbs down…then I turned and smiled at her…she smiled and accepted…she concentrated hard on counting her steps, lol…couldn’t talk and… Read more »
LOL a woman either wants your cock and a baby maker full of your baby batter or she wants the pomp and ceremony of dating…. ie your beta bucks If she wants your cock and not your wallet, milkshakes at McDonald’s is more then enough for her You are either the dude she wants to fuck or the dude she wants to bleed for cash and prizes……I mean date. Never fucking date em. I dont give a shit if she is yoir soul mate or any of tha bullshit. Make her earn the promotion from fuck toy to “date” /… Read more »
She was attractive, but nowhere near my ideal age bracket! I like girls aged like 16-22 – she was nearly 40 and her kid was sleeping next door whilst I fukced her, lol Polish. Not much to write in terms of an FR. I approached her on the dance floor with some comment about the ridiculous dancing that i’d just been doing with my mates for self amusement purposes, and I was immediately physical and pulled her towards me. We laughed and flirted. Memory is a bit hazy, but I think I ws much more VERBALLY direct than usual. I… Read more »
beginning of the above post got cut off!
It started: Laid at last, last night!
@Catchers: you (also) have lots of attraction but not enough arousal, so she is trying to slot you into bf/provider after the bang and trying to make herself the prize. Basically what the others already said.
@CatchersIndifference – everyone else has good stuff for you, I’ll just add a couple of points: 1. Girls have a high tendency to flake. Confirming on the day is a great idea, but it can come across a bit low value to text saying “Are we meeting tonight?”. What you did is better – a statement like “See you tonight”. What is *even* better is some kind of made up logistics issue – something like “I’m running a bit late, but I think I’ll be on time”. It’s effectively a confirmation ping but doesn’t come across like that. Usually only… Read more »
Catch hers…
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OOjm4I7LRgY
Plate management circa 1978
Culum is right the text was a bit weak… Better to text something like “meet me at the bar across the street at 7” or. Or “come to my place and we will drive together”… Assume the sale and lead.
Scars! Nice man… Broke the duck… Monkey off your back. Go forward in abundance…
Edit: above is my lay report. I realised I accidentally somehow chopped off the ‘setup’/intro so it looks like i’m just making a random post lol
1. Girls have a high tendency to flake.
…………
Double book them bitches
That’s like ass pulling 101, and never travel for pussy unless you have 3 lined up in one SO or habe some cool shit to do in the area independent of poon-houndary
Mostly what I read here is dudes who do not value themselves and their time above all else.
Ain’t nothing in the world more valuable then your time. Protect it like you would defend your virgin daughter’s cherry
Thanks, Sentient. like I say, I wasn’t a virgin, but I get laid very INfrequently, so it is still a ‘monkey off my back’ of sorts, lol
@SFC Ton – Yes. At the height of my online dating streak, I typically double booked them for any given evening – 6 and 9pm (typical flake rate around 50% with online girls I’d never met before). 9 times out of 10, at least one of the girls would flake. On several occasions I actually had two dates. I can only remember one time when I had to flake on the second girl (because I’d banged the first girl and didn’t feel like going for round 2). And even when I booked two dates I’d have some alternate backup plan… Read more »
Hmm, this is giving me an idea. I recently saw an RSD Todd video about how he accidentally went on a date with two girls (he’d double booked them and both turned up and he decided to go with it instead of blowing off one girl).
I’ve stopped online in my main city, but I still do some when I travel, esp when I’ve not been laid in a while. Perhaps I should have a “double date” with two (separate) Tinder girls for the lols to see where it will end up..
Hell yeah!
@Culum: I remember reading a FR, I think it was on the Red Pill reddit. Don’t know if it was true of course, but it was hilarious when I read it. Basically the PUA double booked 2 girls on the same time slot on purpose to see what happens. They both turn up and he tells the less hot one something like “You can leave, I’m going on a date with her”. Uglier one throws a glass of water at his face, which he simply pretends didn’t happen (like doesn’t even wipe himself), other girl is super intrigued with the… Read more »
@IAS – the Todd thing was actually quite similar. He didn’t insult the less hot one or have her throw anything but basically she gave up and left herself after a while because she figured she didn’t have a chance with him with the hotter girl there, and then he banged the hotter girl who was still impressed with the social proof he’d displayed.
@scars I saw a STUNNING girl walk past me. Just perfection. She was like my idea of a 10. I just could NOT bring myself to open her. You reminded me of something funny that happened to me last Fri. night…I asked a girl to dance and wasn’t really focused on her looks, but while I was dancing I realized that she looked stunning. She was 30ish with a strong mental frame. No wrinkles and about 20% body fat, which means if she had any less fat, she’d look sickly. C cups on an ultra-thin body. Lovely face. Stunning. The… Read more »
@Culum Struan
Watch what happens at @12:14 lol
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EwPGtWaUOE&w=854&h=480%5D
Lol. Yeah, it doesn’t take much at all to trigger the ole social proof does it..
I’m just thinking about this “double-date” thing a bit more. It’s interesting not because it’s necessarily the best way to get laid (the odds of weirding out both Tinder girls and losing them when they turn up and find another girl there are high) but because it’s a fun experiment to try and play with social pressure and see if I can handle that level of social awkwardness smoothly and play the girls off against each other etc. I suppose best case scenario is 3some (which I’ve never had before) but that’s low-odds with two random girls I’ve never banged… Read more »
LOL no PUA myself but a goodly amount of shit I have done in the SMP has been of the “hey y’all, watch this shit” variety. seems to work more often then you’d think, if your 0fg’s is 0 enough
I have always wanted to get caught banging a side chick in the “main” chicks house to see if I could kick the “main” chick out of her own home
AF/BB @20:40 sad!
For pulling two chicks, get the Frame right, up the casual social dominance etc and it will go your way but most guys go after it like a pouppy with a boner vs the stud bull who owns every bitch in the herd
Have the whole week ahead to go out, including the entire weekend Fri/Sat/Sun for the first time in forever, so need to go out. Got a list of things I need to work on/deal with: ***Health*** Can’t really do anything about this. I just have to push through it. Main thing is to review my stack, so I have some routines ready to drop instantly, for when I’m not able to think on my feet. Also gonna review some notes, videos, etc early in the week to get my mind back in a gaming mindset. It really sucks dealing with… Read more »
@SFC Ton @IAS @Sentient Appreciate the info / support. @Culum Struan Your reply was exactly what I was looking for – especially the part about handling the flake appropriately. I knew I was doing it wrong and want to come from a position of confidence in the future so thanks for sharing. In my dating life I haven’t run into any flakiness that I can remember and within the last year I’ve had two girls flake. One on a third date that sent me down my TRP path and this current girl. FR After the girl flaked on Friday I… Read more »
@hank
Re: Kino
Touching a girls hair is an extremely sensitive area to them. Are you escalating with lighter kino to build up to it? It’s great if it’s going off without a hitch but I would think you’d have a higher change of being blown out if you’re going straight for the hair.
I typically will escalate to the hair right before a kiss so keep that in mind as you move forward.
Catchers Great work. You are in the phase now where developing your mindset will bring the biggest bang for the fuck… a few things to think about… I knew I “had” her already even before the dance – I could just tell. so much this… Cultivate this feeling. Imprint it on your memory and whenever you have this feeling ACT on it in the moment. will save you sooo much time and pain. Feel – Act – Repeat. This is the embodiment of “just getting it”, the realm of becoming a natural German speaker … Can you believe this will… Read more »
@Catchers: almost masterful, and some parts there were masterful. Sentient’s analysis seemed spot on as usual. @Sentient: I’m really happy I did make my move, and it has been quite a learning experience for me… But I think I’m not making another move with e-mail saga. Risk/reward is too skewed now. I think as she is on LDR she empathized a bit with me but mostly with my wife (even though I never talk about her she has been asking once in a while). The plan is the same regardless: reduce availability (which I know is not exactly what I… Read more »
@ IAS There’s one of two things going on here with this chick: 1) She’s using you for the attention/sexual tension. She’s getting off on the chasing. 2) She’s considering fucking you, or someone else, but the thought of doing that makes her feel guilty and conflicted. She feels ” bad ” so you catch a modicum of shit, partly because you are holding a small mirror up in front of her face. All of the ” what would your wife say ” talk is a warning. The persistence of it is a red flag. She’s telegraphing to you –… Read more »
@IAS
“Why did you try to kiss me? You know I only see you as a friend, don’t you?”
“IAS, I told you I háve a bf… I wouldn’t do something like that”
Brutal lol.
“She’s using you for the attention/sexual tension. She’s getting off on the chasing”
Ya it’s over lol. Gotta say it was fun following along. In highsight I guess I’m glad you ignored my original advice to let this girl go months ago cause you ended up picked up some much needed solid reference experience.
@ J ” “Why did you try to kiss me? You know I only see you as a friend, don’t you?” “IAS, I told you I háve a bf… I wouldn’t do something like that” ” What I’m hearing/reading is – ” Kiss me, I like the attention, but I’m gonna give myself plausible deniability by complaining and LJBF you. Then after making out and eventually fucking you, if my guilt becomes too much to bear, I will lash out at you because ” I told you we were friends and you took advantage of me “. You’re an awful… Read more »
IAS Blax “What I’m hearing/reading is –” Exactly. If she really thought you were just a friend she would have said something right then and there. This is ex post facto rationalization… Which she has been doing AFTER your sexy email chats… Not during… Women with guys in their life live in the realm between plausible deniability and it just happened. IAS this should be a lesson to you not to live in the slow roll… More intent sooner is better than later Personally I’d keep trying to turn this around… By agreeing just friends and continuing to be sexy,… Read more »
@Blax
Hmm let’s see. 3 dates. No sex. No makeouts. Just months of back and forth emails. Do you and @Sentient legitimately believe she still wants to fuck the shit out of IAS? I think she honestly just wants to be friends and find another guy who will escalate on the window of opportunity and fuck her on the first date because that guy would ‘just get it’
@J
She wanted IAS to fuck the shit out of her …. he just didn’t complete the part he was given
IAS As a married player you need to be ready for the wife shit tests… The more you crush it, the sooner… The more success you will have… https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jCXHh_eREt4 The frame… Been gaming the woman who has a shop by me. It’s going too well… Lol. Tempting to throw my not in my town rule away… Been in twice… Last time mentioned I cant stay long need to go have dinner. She asks what I’m having and I say IDK whatever my wife is cooking… She is all soooo your going to go home and have dinner with your wife… Read more »
J I think she did and does. He half stepped it… She’s happy with the kino if no one sees… Happy with sex talk… IAS has been the one lurching around… Too much logical stuff… Too much email instead of text chats… Too freauent and long emails…. Not taking it. Not pushing it. That last time out… He half kisses and bolts… Etc. She’d be happy to have sex but she sure as shit is wanting to avoid blame and judgment… He’d have to make it just happen. It’s cool he is learning his way on a more complicated set… Read more »
““Why did you try to kiss me? You know I only see you as a friend, don’t you?””
“That’s how i feel. We are pen pals… :)”
Hamster spin up and she is off the hook…
“Hey buddy ol pal. Let’s hit xyz this weekend.”
She comes out run standard attraction game kino isolate escalate…
@ J I think the sex ship has mostly sailed because as y’all said, too much time has lapsed. But I think if IAS keeps pushing it, she may cave and give ” regret sex “. I hate anything remotely resembling regret sex. She’s just a little too concerned about the ” what if’s ” and I find that concerning to a degree. The married chick I banged continuously without knowing she was married never uttered the word ” husband “, never even asked about a wife or gf, never wanted my friendship, just sex. When I confronted her about… Read more »
@Blax: thanks, that is more or less my read on the situation. I think I could still “get” her, but it would likely blow up afterwards. Your story… You believe that the girl was rationalizing and was drunk but conscious and consented to get the D. @Sentient: I don’t disagree with you. I think it would be possible. Certainly would already have been if I had better game. She did think about it and even after me not closing in two “dates”, she was responding to my “man to woman” kino and sometimes even initiated “woman to man” kino. She… Read more »
@IAS – all good advice from everyone else. Also, it will probably come to nothing, but the slight difference in attitude Blax has identified is a bit of a concern. The thing is, you’ve been leaking attraction and opportunities with this one for weeks (if not months) now. The longer you go without closing the *harder* it gets, and it will be harder next time. You long ago went past the point where the juice was worth the squeeze and your effort/reward ratio. You *could* keep practicing on her as Sentient says, and it’s certainly possible you can turn it… Read more »
@Culum: just to clarify, it was certainly a buffer at least partially and I enjoy the attention (maybe not as much as she does) so you are right in terms of opportunity cost… But in terms of time spent on this one it was for the most part not replacing time I could be gaming randoms (you could consider that I could have pivoted out of her into randoms in the 2nd “date” for example, particularly as there were friendly cockblocks around by then). Writing e-mails during the day isn’t the same time slot as being out in clubs at… Read more »
IAS “and I go “bad kisser, huh?” and she is like “when you haven’t done it in a while you lose your skill”” heh… And you moved to discussing orgasming? No? Get her worked up? So many hooks man… The Blax concern… Eh… Face facts man, when you are married you never really know what a girl is going to do post contact (emotional or physical) when she isn’t getting all of you… Unless she doesnt have your name and contact info… So if you are going to risk manage that is the place to do it. Up front via… Read more »
@Hank
I’m currently boning a young black girl. She introduced me to gangsta rap and other specifics of her culture. But calling anyone nigger is something I’ll never, never do. If you’re not black you have no business using that word.
Just my 2 cents…
Just a bit more – I don’t think you’re racist but I do think you’re trying to act black. I don’t think that’s a good strategy.
@IAS
That chick talks/types too much, lol. Give it a rest lady!
It’s like she’s capturing her stream of consciousness in every communication to you.
Good luck with however you decide to proceed. Also, realize that potentially when you withdraw attention from her it will raise her attraction / desire in the near term so be prepared to take advantage of that “the right way ™”.
@Sentient: I know and I agreed with you and made my move, but there are still actions and inactions I can take after that, which are more likely to trigger her. For example, imagine when she asked if I care about what my wife would feel and I go “Only one way to find out, do you want to tell her?”. That flashed in my mind at the time, it would be pretty bold and could very well generate tingles, but I think also would have been quite stupid in this instance. Also you are a gutsy genius. And I… Read more »
IAS Goldmund has very little “game”… http://goldmundunleashed.com/redpill-player-steals-girl-friend-zone/ While we were out, I had asked her a question that had become popular to ask girls during the Playboy Summit: So, when was the last time you had sex? The reactions from this one had been fun to play with all weekend, and was an effective way to screen girls who were up for it, into you, and get them horny in the process. She responded perfectly with “oh my god, its been too long. Like three months.” “What?! You know that isn’t healthy right? Your hormones are all off balance, especially… Read more »
IAS she asked if I care about what my wife would feel and I go “Only one way to find out, do you want to tell her?”. That flashed in my mind at the time, it would be pretty bold and could very well generate tingles, but I think also would have been quite stupid in this instance. I agree that would have been stupid.. I also don’t see it generating tingles though. That response keeps you in her frame – what your wife feels… You want to smash her frame and substitute your frame “I do what I want,… Read more »
IAS
And I thought I was clever by going “bad kisser” there…
That was clever… and what is the follow up? The combo – the one two punch… get in the habit of landing combinations…
she is like “when you haven’t done it in a while you lose your skill””
You: “Same with blow jobs I take it? Ouch!”
Her: blah blah
You: Practice makes perfect sweetie…
her: blah blah…
You: http://static1.bigstockphoto.com/thumbs/5/7/1/small2/17574101.jpg
@disgruntled
It was just a FR that I vomited up at the end of a long day. Zero editing or censoring. That’s all it was.
The female imperative is cunning and pervasive. She is standing firmly on my shoulders as I go out dancing and continue to meet new women. I didn’t take action with a couple of women tonight who I know would like to see me outside of dancing because I’m somewhat far down the road with the girl I’m dating. We haven’t talked commitment but it’s coming. Not that I’m going to bring it up but we are headed in that direction. So if I number close these women or advance further the female imperative tells me it wouldn’t be fair to… Read more »
@Catcher
The cereal with only marshmallows… You’ll get sick of it .if you eat enough
@Catchers – the first step is in knowing the Matrix exists..and you’ve taken that step. Just keep going.
Catchers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oG-nnDlnWrA What do I want? I want to continue meeting women, improving my seductive ability, and having sex with them. For so long I’ve lived the BP life and followed the will of the FI that “what I want” seems so foreign to me. somethings happening… you are making a break. choose The Platinum Rule… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2pvQcuRzWY found an island in your arms Country in your eyes Arms that chained us Eyes that lied Break on through to the other side Break on through to the other side Break on through, oww! A very hard part of The Platinum Rule,… Read more »
@Sentient A very hard part of The Platinum Rule, after accepting you have the freedom to choose what you do, is figuring out what it is you want to do… the last step is then acting on that… true enough… buuut, what happens is that the FI gets another chance to push on you while you are trying to figure out what you want to do… (just ask Andy…)… and then that ‘figuring out’ just presents as a massive buffer… so you can spin yourself into inaction… i’m to the point of thinking that taking some action… ANY action… is… Read more »
HABD
Agree that while in theory this is a stair step process, in practice it looks more like a straight line and iterative, real time feedback loops.
Got offered job. Just have to haggle over pay, its a bit lower than it could be. Good news is I have some funds from elsewhere that will supplement that income so I will be good even if I can’t get the raise. Definitely going to take it because I need to deal with heath issues and very much need to move — 10+ years in any one place is way too long for me, even a place I liked, and I definitely don’t like this area.
Good stuff Hank! @HABD – I’ve noticed that recently you’re talking more about action uber alles and how it is a way to break out buffers and mental barriers..is this like a new development in your thinking? Oh and since this is the FR section – not much to report, still in small town. Have a lot of going out planned for next month. Going on a short biz trip to a city next week – likely to be some Tinder lays. If I can work the logistics I want to try and have a simultaneous date with two Tinder… Read more »
@Culum @HABD – I’ve noticed that recently you’re talking more about action uber alles and how it is a way to break out buffers and mental barriers..is this like a new development in your thinking? more like ‘better’ analysis…lol… so ya… just getting back to basic masculinity… Q: what’s the goal of RP (and pua…)?… A: to live a better, more fulfilling life… Q: what does that better, more fulfilling life look like?… A: doing shit…lol… you know, living your life… which as Blaximus rightly points out, is going to end someday soon… and you really don’t know when… sooo,… Read more »
FR Have been looking to try out a new restaurant in town and the girl I’ve been dating is adventurous as well so I send her a message. Our communication throughout the week is sporadic at best but our last time spent together went extremely well. Me: we should try x restaurant next Her: Sure! When are you free? Me: Thur / Sun Her: How about a week from now? Me: lol Context: This place is one of the most popular places in town and I abhor waiting 1hr plus for a meal on a busy night. Thur / Sun… Read more »
Take?
Same as before… Why isn’t she jumping at it? Think about it.
Good response… Lol.. I’d let sit and wait for her to reopen.
@ Catchers ” Me: we should try x restaurant next Her: Sure! When are you free? Me: Thur / Sun Her: How about a week from now? punt Me: I’ll let you know… ” Radio silence, be slow to reply to her text, scope out another chick to hit the restaurant with on your timeframe. See if she changes her tune. If not, take her message ( intentional or not ). See if she qualifies her ” week from now ” reply – plans that couldn’;t be changed, death in the family, subpoena to testify before congress. Will she qualify,… Read more »
@Sentient “Why isn’t she jumping at it?” Because she believes she has better options is what I think it boils down to. If I sent the same invite to the girl I just nexted who was 100% into me she would have moved Heaven and Earth to make it happen and cancel any plans she had foolishly made. It’s mid-week and both Thursday and Sunday are spoken for? I bet. To further this point, current girl and I were on our way back to her place over the weekend and she was picking up some wine for a girlfriend to… Read more »
Catchers
“completely satisfied ”
Ahhhhh yes. You give her everything she thinks she wants and she is left wanting… nothing.
Cat curled up with a string.
Catchers
Some unavailability and some emotional drama… pull the string. I’d ignore her response and go to this place with someone else… then wait for her to reopen and then let it trickle out you went there already but are up for doing something else next week you’ll check your schedule, what night is she free…
@Catchers
“completely satisfied ”
“Ahhhhh yes. You give her everything she thinks she wants and she is left wanting… nothing.”
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/07/16/why-you-should-leave-after-sex/
7:20 – 7:40
nice clips J…
Still on radio silence as I reflect / review. What really has me thinking is that with this particular girl the power polarity shifted post intimacy but not to the level I am accustomed. Classically, I’d be completely comfortable with where we are in the relationship if the same events had transpired with another girl. In fact, I would have expected her to be broaching the topic of exclusivity already. Then again, why would she approach the subject of exclusivity when she may subconsciously know she already has what she wants? I’ve never told her that I’m not dating anyone… Read more »
@culum well, not so sure about the beach spot. the problem is, it isn’t a place I really want to go to. The whole area around where I live now I really do not like — the places I would move to are thousands of miles away, if not in a foreign country. So beach is nice, but its not like a huge improvement. So as things are working out, I am only going to just make enough money to make ends meet, so I probably won’t be able to go to those bigger cities, and I’ll have to sign… Read more »
@Hank You gotta learn to take risk man. You hate where you are… get chance to move…. rationalize staying…. Apparently need healthcare….says Job gives healthcare … doesn’t want to take job “Really wish yareally was still posting here, since I know his input would help me get through another winter here, but I think that is what I am going to have to do.” Translation : I need someone who will baby step this with me, plan it out ,tell me what to do ,and make sure its okay because I don’t want to deal with the responsibility of this… Read more »
@hank
I was so hopeful you were headed in a new direction given your job prospect.
You’re approaching life like a guy sniping HB8’s and 9’s at the bar.
“If I can’t have the 9 (living far away, or truly ideal location) then I’d rather be alone (keep in the same rut.)”
Good luck man, but you’re your own worst enemy at this point in your life.
Hank is where he is for a reason and that reason is Hank.
no, **this** is why I miss yareally’s commentary, half the shit I’m about to say is right there plain as day in my last point. You gotta learn to take risk man. yeah, and its calculating risk as to why I think the beach area is ultimately a bigger risk than staying here and saving money to move to a place I want to go. Further, this beach place is more or less in the same area, its not really *that* far away from where I am now. Its not like I will move there and go “holy shit look… Read more »
@hank
“If someone offered me a position in the place I have been trying to move to, I’d take it even if I had to take two jobs. I repeat **If someone offered me a position in the area in the position I ultimately want to move to, I would instantly accept**”
Wait … you mean to tell me if an HB9 threw herself at you then you’d gladly have sex with her, instantly?
Well, no shit.
Hank is wherr he is for a reason and that reason is Hank.
you guys just seem to have a very unrealistic impression of the beach area. its not going to magically solve all my issue. it was appealing when I thought I’d have enough to save to move elsewhere, and also have enough to travel to the big cities once a month or so. but as it is, I won’t have enough to travel to those cities (so I’ll be stuck in the little dead touristy beach town for all fall/winter) and I won’t have enough to save to move, and I may not even have enough to deal with my heath… Read more »
@Sentient Care to expound on the factors at play in my situation? I get that I’ve been giving her “everything she thinks she needs” and thusly need to adapt my approach to be less available and make that “string” more enticing / valuable. (this is precisely what she is attempting to do currently) Can’t help but think this may be “horses for courses” though – do I want to be with someone that requires this? Or am I so naive to miss that women will act like this with this level of attraction. I feel like I hit the ball… Read more »