Field Reports

lion-chasing-gazelle

For the past three years of The Rational Male there’s been a consistent presence in the comment threads of guys seeking advice for particular situations with regards to Game. Whether it’s fine tuning certain aspects of Game or a larger consensus of the guys participating in my comment threads it’s become obvious there’s a need for a dedicated page and comment thread to address these Field Reports.

So I’m instituting this page for exactly this. If there is some urgency to have members of The Rational Male community analyze your particular situation feel free to hit anyone up in the comments of my current post, but please refer them to your particular field report with a link to your comment here. I’m hoping this will alleviate the mass of posts for field report analysis and Game specific insights piled into the main blog post for any given week.

There will be some rules for this “forum” as such. I ask that you only keep your comments to addressing the field reports at hand and save your larger theoretical stuff for the main posts, or if relevant, keep the “bigger scope of things” posts to being as succinct as possible. There will be no moderation in this comment thread (spamming excepted), so realize it will be a very hot kitchen before you post. I will impose no restrictions on video links here, nor will I limit links to various, but pertinent articles.

Understand, this is an experiment for now. It’s likely this comment thread will exceed thousands of comments. I’ll be instituting new comment plug-ins for wordpress to deal with this in the future, but I may archive this page the the posts and refresh this page in the future as well. If this gets cumbersome I may simply institute a dedicated forum-style sub-site of The Rational Male to accommodate for Game specific questions.

So have at it, post your field reports and feel free to comment on the ones you have some particular insight for. Be forewarned that it’s likely things may get a bit salty at times and I expect a lot of back & forth with debate and disagreements, but that’s what this thread is for – to hash out Game particulars for your given situations.

 

15,570 comments on “Field Reports

  1. @asa

    Cut yourself a bit of slack. Bear in mind that the handful of blokes in here that actually understand how it all works are a tiny fraction of the population.

    Even the men that are naturally good with women don’t understand how they do it, and if you read upthread by about 40 most men aren’t banging their wives, and by 50 almost none are.

    It’s not just about the sex. If it slides too far you get a miserable life.

    Until my circumstances required a move to do this project I lived in a very upmarket area. hairdressers drive Bentleys – that sort of place.

    Anyway I was with my son in a Cafe Rouge and sat next to this bloke in his 60’s and his wife and he was obviously a rich bloke. She would not fucking shut up, she was bitching at him non stop and too loud. It went on and on. I couldn’t get a word in to speak to my son.

    In the end I just said “Jesus mate, I don’t know how much money you’ve got but it’s gotta be worth half to get rid of her”

    Stone silence for the rest of the meal.

    My son was in hysterics “that shut her up dad”

    In a similar vein, when I rented a flat there after my divorce I googled my landlord. Bloke of about 62, wore shit clothes but did drive a decent jag. He worked for a public utility and was on a SALARY before bonuses of £1.7M a year. He’s had similar jobs all his life. He had a net worth of at the very least £10M yet was totally and utterly bitched down by his wife.

    Why the fuck he didn’t just say “here’s half now fuck off” I’ll never know. I think the FI just grinds you down and you just become their bitch.

    When you finally swallow it fully it’ll fuck up most movies and you’ll see your friends as wimps. I just end up with my head in your hands thinking “ahhhh no mate”. But you can’t tell them. No one I’ve given a copy of the Rational Male to has ever spoken to me again.

    If you got the Australian bird frisky but didn’t bang then her hindbrain thinks that on the next meet you’ll escalate from that point and she’ll be obliged to bang and she might not feeeeel like it.

    SO rather than be in a situation she doesn’t want to be in she’s avoiding another meet.

    Good rule of thumb is don’t get them frisky if you can’t close it. Any reason why you didn’t close it by the way? If you had her frisky?

    I still think the “what shall I wear” thing goes the wrong way with a woman you haven’t already banged several times, and it’s just feeding her validation and attention needs. Doing that free reduces your value in her eyes.

    I’d reduce it to absurdity – don’t give the bitch the validation of the knowledge that she got me on a bit of string thinking about her sexually…

    What shall I wear?

    Ball gown and tiarra…

    A hazmat suit…

    Your seatbelt…

    Tinfoil hat…

    Dunno.. but anything rather than letting her get the feeling that SHE’S sexualising and your biting on it.

  2. Hello Guys,

    I’m a long time reader. I didn’t write so far, because my questions were answered in the posts and the comments I’ve read, and I didn’t think I’m red pill enough to dish out advises. (I still don’t.). The reason I post now is because I’ve found myself in a situation I’m not sure how I should handle, and I’d like to turn to the collective knowledge here.

    My wife is pregnant (6th months) now. I will write some details about us below, but in short it is a planned and expected thing. She handles it well, but things are getting harder and harder for her, which means she asks for more and more help. By this I mean a lot of small stuff like bring water for her, do chores instead of her, last time she asked me to take off her socks(!) for her. When she wasn’t pregnant I just laughed this stuff off, but now I feel like an asshole when I do. Hard to say which is when she objectively needs help, and which are just shit tests.

    The second stuff is sex. Before the pregnancy it was good, but things have changed. Her libido decreased a lot. She is aware that it is a basic need for me (for us), and wants to champ on, but I’m puzzled about it too. This is our first kid, there are a lot of new feelings and pains and changes. Her belly is sizable now, and it disturbs me a lot that my dick is a couple of inches from my son. And I’m obviously much more careful with throwing her around and dominating her. I don’t enjoy sex like this at all, and as a result I avoid it. I don’t mind if this lasts for another 5-6 months if I know that I don’t fuck up anything with this and things will be back to normal at some point. What was your experience on this?

    A little background: both of us are 31. I grew up blue pilled. I’ve found the red pill (and pua stuff) at 24. I’ve lost my virginity soon, and in 2 years I was with about a dozen girls. Then at 26 I’ve got together with my future wife. As the redpill is a longer journey for me, I wasn’t completely red pill when we’ve got together, but in general I have frame since the beginning of this relationship. Originally I didn’t plan to settle down, but she has made my life much more comfortable in general, and the sex was good too, I’ve stayed. She passed the vetting, and as I’ve decided last year that I want to have kids, we got on to it. I’m really happy with my life like this. I didn’t pass each and every shit tests, but I think I did most of them, so it is a happy marriage. What I’m afraid now, is that I slip back to my previous blue pill life with the kid, and this is what I’d like to avoid.

    Btw. I’m from Central-Europe, so English is not my native language. I’m aware that sometimes I use strange expressions/structures. It is not being a sperg, simply sometimes I have a difficult time expressing myself in English.

  3. First post here. Why? Want to say “great threads last few days.”
    CS and asapleese, your situation is not unique. Sentient is spot on; your conversations and the responses will literally save someone’s life. I zeroed out, twice. Twice. The last zero out had a lot of external, read corruption, influences, but still, I ultimately went willingly down the path to slaughter. Well meaning, but stupid, tough and yet stupid. Had I read TRM, no slaughter.

    asa, your examples of doing things differently, that how it goes, should go. Feels exhilarating. People talk about “fuck off” money, like if they had half a million, they would speak their mind. $500-$1000 is my amount for “fuck off” money. Lover said to me “If this is you broke, I can’t imagine you with money.” Point is, you feel good because you are not a willing bitch slave. We all have to suck it up now and then, but that mental point of origin, that is the difference. The “why” matters, ’cause it is all internal.

  4. It is possible that I’m feeling a bit (extra) snippy this morning, so bear that in mind with my comments.

    ” . . . things are getting harder and harder for her, which means she asks for more and more help.”

    Dear Feminism, reality wins.

    “What I’m afraid now, is that I slip back to my previous blue pill life with the kid, and this is what I’d like to avoid.”

    Just remember to be the boss, not the bitch, the father, not the mother, and you should do fine.

  5. HF

    My wife is pregnant (6th months) now. I will write some details about us below, but in short it is a planned and expected thing. She handles it well, but things are getting harder and harder for her, which means she asks for more and more help. By this I mean a lot of small stuff like bring water for her, do chores instead of her, last time she asked me to take off her socks(!) for her. When she wasn’t pregnant I just laughed this stuff off, but now I feel like an asshole when I do. Hard to say which is when she objectively needs help, and which are just shit tests.

    welcome welcome.

    This kind of situation, where the wife has some health issue is rife with danger. A very very slippery slope. She DOES need more help, but she is also going to get used to it, and accustomed to it, and eventually expect it.

    It’s a sliding scale.

    You are ok being on the more beta side of the scale until the first month or two after the baby comes, but after that, just tart pushing back a little bit a little bit a little bit and nudge her back on course, hold her accountable etc.

    Just remember to be the boss, not the bitch, the father, not the mother, and you should do fine.
    This +1000

    Yes her hormones are going to be raging, her body is going to be changed, she will be exhausted and tense with looking after a new baby (for the first time especially) HOWEVER if you don’t start to hold her accountable an nudge her back to your standards, you will be left with an overweight, not made up, nagging, sexless roommate.

    So… baby step it. A little alpha push back will go a long way. A little teasing, a little cocky funny… A little reward, some approval here and there on your terms… Lead things. Push back on the “the doctor says, the book says, my GF says, my mom says…” if it’s interfering. And be funny, relaxed. Don’s stress in front of her.

    I at 24 was completely blindsided by the impact of a child. My basic selfish asshole nature held me through, but it was a struggle.

    https://harryandersonart.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/MotherBaby_web.jpg

    Women have been having babies forever. She is not a special snowflake.

  6. Agree 100%.

    A pregnant woman is different than a non-pregnant woman, physically and mentally.

    This is also a part of ” burden “. A part of ” provision and protection “. It’s different than just boning and shit tests.

    Imo, it’s viral that men grasp what starting a family entails. Very different than a ltr or gf situation. Leadership gets turned up to 11.

  7. Ok. So basically I should not worry that much, be more understanding/helpful but remaining playful instead of supplicative, and keep the steering wheel strongly in my hand.

    What about the sex? I know that that’s a pretty sensitive question, but most of my friends are bluish-purple pill and I don’t like the answer they gave (=there is no sex, accept it). As this is my first kid, I have no idea if this should be normal.

  8. It’s babies, all the way down.

    From the female perspective the job of sex has been accomplished, at least for the time being. Yes, that’s perfectly normal.

    What is normal for the male in such circumstances is another matter and not necessarily approved of by society. I certainly wouldn’t expect her to cast a kindly eye on it.

  9. Ok. So basically I should not worry that much, be more understanding/helpful but remaining playful instead of supplicative, and keep the steering wheel strongly in my hand.

    What about the sex? I know that that’s a pretty sensitive question, but most of my friends are bluish-purple pill and I don’t like the answer they gave (=there is no sex, accept it). As this is my first kid, I have no idea if this should be normal.

    I also agree and cosign what KFG, Sentient and Blax said well.

    About the sex.

    You should definitely have PIV sex during the months 6 through 9. You might not like it as much, including your psychological sqeamishness.

    It is safe and it’s not uncommon for her to enjoy the pelvic sensation. With all the estrogen down there swelling things. It is or should be normal to have sex while pregnant.

    Otherwise, Guess What? You will be conditioning her to not be into it (enjoy sex) after she recovers from child birth. You want to condition her to like it and get back to it 1.5 to 2 months after delivery. You do know, a lot of MRP is operant conditioning, right?

    Same operant conditioning goes for you being a confident leader. Have Command Presence. Lead. Go on exercise walks with her. Make sure nutrition is optimal before and after pregnancy.

    You should have sex during the next couple months.

    And please do not hesitate to ask questions or solicit advice here.

  10. CS

    I’m probably going to have to break this up into a few replies.

    “Blax: You had a good marriage and then you tried to “improve” it by being more beta and messed it up right? Were there incidents like mine?”

    Basically. At the time, I had no idea about alpha or beta or blue pill or red pill.

    I didn’t just have a good marriage, but in most ways it was a Great marriage. I was getting everything I wanted and more out of having a wife. Admittedly, I was demanding of her, but she always rose to the occasion and never stopped being a loving and affectionate mate.

    Friends and family used to comment to me that I was a bit hard/harsh on her, and a few said that it seemed she was afraid of me and even asked me if I’d ” put hands ” on her in some fashion. The accusations were highly, highly insulting because I’d never ” abuse ” my wife. If I ever got so angry/upset that I even contemplated that as an option, it means the marriage has failed and should be dissolved. I didn’t tolerate long, drawn out, drama filled ” discussions “, but I always took my wife’s opinions into consideration. She understood how best to communicate with me ( no tears, no yelling, no eye rolling..lol, etc ), but on occasion especially when we were dating and first married, I did raise my voice ( not yell ) to communicate a point. My mother said that wifey looked terrified when I raised my voice.

    So I made an extra effort to count to 10 and rethink raising my voice at her.

    But our relationship was very physical in most ways, meaning we touched and hugged and played around and even wrestled. I wouldn’t hesitate to throw her over my shoulder and carry her around that way at home, while giving her a slap on the ass. That’s something that started way back when she was a 13 year old ( hottie…lol ) and I would just pick her up and carry her away from her friends so we could talk or run to the corner store.

    I would never hurt her in a million years.

    My father mentioned that I had been a bit rough with other girls in the past, and that reputation might be following me. His take on the situation was that Wifey was ” in line ” and wanted to be that way. That’s how I saw it as well, yet the idea that others were seeing something different made me stop and think.

    What would be different if I was ” kinder and gentler “? What if I was more thoughtful and considerate of her feelings? What if I encouraged her to express her emotions more?

    I was mulling it over.

    Our daughter was born in extreme circumstances by emergency C-section during a fucking hurricane. I was very grateful that in the end, I didn’t lose wife or daughter, so I kept the whole ” kinder gentler ” thing in the back of my mind like a plan to quit smoking.

    So life was good. Everyone was thriving and happy. Wife and I were still going at it hard, like we were still dating or something. In fact, we had a difficult time keeping our hands off of each other. We were coming up on a decade of marriage.

    I decided to put the kind-man plan into effect.

    At first it was just being mindful of my tone when talking to her. Being more ” sweet “. That’s when I got my first red flag, so to speak, when she would just kinda look at me and ask ” are you okay? what’s going on?”. But I forged ahead.

    Next was wanting her to make more decisions and express how she felt. When we’d go out to eat, I used to order her food for her without asking what she wanted. No more. When we went on vacation, I’d now talk with her about it for months in advance. I wouldn’t accept her ” really, I’ll go wherever you want ” as an answer.

    The nail in the coffin, in hindsight, was when I decided to tell her what I was thinking. Everything I was thinking. Stuff that bothered me, things I didn’t like, stuff that made me mad or upset. Thoughts I normally would keep inside my own mind and figure out. Now I wanted her thoughts and advice.

    This fuckery on my part went on almost 2 years.

    At first she was annoyed.

    Then she started becoming distant – like a shit test to see if I’d snap out of it.

    Eventually it got to a point where she was going to fuck somebody else( I’m 100% convinced ), but I’ll save that for the next installment.

  11. Free online bit I found funny.

    You: “You look into fidness. Amirite?”

    Her: [whatever]

    You: “fidness big hog in your mouth”

    Lmfao

  12. So here is an interesting site. Following on the noir deep dive…

    Unsurprisingly most of these ladies were straight handfuls…

    Few as much as this turbo tittied honey

    https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQm94b2HpPSrxKA0TYTq6OVBXxTjyVjzvE-fn5XDl2GC2vRTnLr&s

    Gloria Grahame

    http://www.glamourgirlsofthesilverscreen.com/show/107/Gloria+Grahame/index.html

    Now four husbands are par for this course. But when one is the stepson of your husband. Well that makes it special…

    [In a Lonely Place is a great movie. Vogue swaggering]

  13. @sentient

    Thanks for the encouragement. And regarding;

    ‘As boys we are pretty alpha and then women and society indoctrinate us to beta. So know wonder you are feeling 18 or even 8 again.

    On reflection I feel you have a point here, in that the vibrancy and energy that I possessed in abundance had started to dissipate by 18. Plenty of well meaning folk as I grew up wanted to pacify, or in some cases pathologize, the huge energy i was possessed of. Including my own parents. I encourage this in my boy, he is gregarious and high energy. Good. Long may it stay that way.

    @palmasailor

    Thanks for the encouragement. Finished your book. Great read. Quite the adventure you have lived. Some of the bits on your son were moving. Also lol regarding ‘its worth half to get rid of her.’

    Why did I not close the deal with the Aussie bird? (she is 36, aussie upbringing indian ethnicity, quite attractive, would have been a sort in her prime). I suppose some more details are necessary to get to the bottom of that. First date felt like a low key affair, albeit finished with a highly charged and sexual kiss. Second date was on the Sunday before the Monday lockdown was announced. She was reluctant due to blah blah, but i said fuck it lets meet anyway. I can’t remember how it came up but she had mentioned she was a mustard pool player, female competition standard. So I said I know a good pool club in north london lets meet there. She also said she found it very sexy when a man was a good pool player, that implied to me she is used to wiping the floor with fellas. What she did not know is that I am handy, from having spent way too much time in dive pubs in the east end and essex from the age of about 15 drinking, playing pool and snorting coke. So she was pretty fucking good to be fair, but I beat her 5-0 anyway. We then moved onto a pub, I can’t remember what presented the opening, but we ended up kissing and getting frisky, she was playing with my cock in the middle of the pub, and we were discussing role play fantasies with particular emphasis on me as daddy etc. We finished drinks and I said lets get a taxi back to yours or mine. She lives in Balham, me in Croydon, as you know Palma that is a trek from north london. At this point she became resistant, ‘no this no that, coronavirus the other blah blah’. So from the little I’ve learned from the recommended reading, was this a logistics fail? i.e when we got heated, had I just got us up and out of there for the short walk to x venue, i would have closed. but as I did not, I did not? Anyone else want to chime in on this point also? As my memory is coming back to me, I think I tried some ‘plausible deniability’ – i want to see your artwork (another fucking ‘artist’ lol. I’ve been a piss artist over the years at times) – also but this did not have the desired effect either. Was this even necessary at the stage we had got to? Answers on a postcard please peeps.

    Lastly, your book contains the funniest ‘sweating like’ simile I have encountered – for those that have not read it, it is ‘sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish market.’ Coarse (see what I did there) but very fucking funny lol

    Got some other questions to put to the peeps here on some other bits, will post again soon.

  14. Asappleeze

    So from the little I’ve learned from the recommended reading, was this a logistics fail?

    If you want to get good at this, I mean real good… You need to backward plan things from the sex location to the meet. Lime Ocean’s 11 plan it.

    You cannot beat shit logistics. And you can do wonders with really great logistics (think hotel lobby you are staying at)…

    The vibe will decay at a tremendous rate on a 30 or 40 minute trek…

    Start thinking strategically, plan the bouncing to the bang. Then be ruthless.

  15. @HF
    Your English is fine. You communicate well enough.

    “What about the sex? I know that that’s a pretty sensitive question, but most of my friends are bluish-purple pill and I don’t like the answer they gave (=there is no sex, accept it). As this is my first kid, I have no idea if this should be normal.”

    It doesn’t have to be a pretty sensitive question, unless you were conditioned to think so. It’s not the slightest bit sensitive in a blog comment section like this one. Or in the swirling manosphere. Haven’t you noticed that fact. It is sensitive when your wife is pregnant and your friends are blue and purple balled.

    So don’t you be sensitive about it.

    Her libido decreased a lot.

    Yes it did. For a number of reasons. Can you identify some of the reasons? I can.

    You have been stripped of some of the cards (think of you having a poker hand) that you were able to play in the past to get her going.

    She has been stripped of some of her cards (her sexuality).

    That is just another short term hurdle in the road.

    Some of the things that you don’t have now is the use of walking away from her when she asks you to bring you a glass of water or to take off her socks when she is too tired or too fat to reach down and take them off?

    Yes pregnancy is different. There are fears to harbor and worry about the future. There are her maternal hormones that tell here the future baby takes precedence over everything including you.

    There was a book written about dread in marriage. But the author had discussed concepts with tens of thousands of men in the forum Married Red Pill Reddit. And the often mentioned Married Man Sex Life forums with Athol Kay (or whatever the fuck it was called).

    Written by BluePillProfessor at MRP Reddit.

    He had to caution all the clinical retards that tried dread during pregnancy that:

    Warning: Use of even mild Dread during pregnancy has been reported to be fatal to a marriage.

    Dread Levels 1 and 2 can and should be done together. Level 1 is to START dealing with Shit Tests. This takes a lifetime to master.

    MRP is about YOU and improving YOU. It is about leading and leading her, NOT about “forcing” her to follow. DO NOT USE ADVANCED DREAD GAME TO CHANGE A WOMAN’S BEHAVIOR BECAUSE SHE IS BEING A SHIT TESTING HARPY BITCH. THIS IS COVERED IN LEVEL 1!
    THE USE OF EVEN MINOR FORMS OF DREAD IS NOT SUGGESTED DURING PREGNANCY

    We have had reports recently about men using Dread during the wife’s pregnancy AND IT CREATES A SHIT STORM.

    DREAD is off limits during a pregnancy from what I have seen. They freak out even with soft dread. Anything new, even things like deciding to get in shape and leaving for the gym needs to be handled carefully because it is enough to create an existential crisis in some marriages. You can continue to apply Dread that you have already used- such as going out with the boys, checking out girls, etc. You should NOT start any new dread with a pregnant woman.

    The essence of MRP is to be the masculine, rational, logical, leader of your life, your wife, and your marriage and that is even more important with pregnant women. You just can’t suddenly become the leader if you were not before. Any major changes are verboten BUT you can roll it out sloooowly and begin to pick up your balls and assert yourself as the man as the natural course of things while still providing lots of comfort.

    There is nothing in those statements that says you can’t learn new ways to lead and ask other men what you should do at this time in pregnancy. It doesn’t mean you can take other blue pill/purple pill guys advice about just give sex up. That is bad advice.

    Have you or your wife discussed with her obstetrician any thing at all about sex during pregnancy? What did your doctor say?

    “She is aware that it is a basic need for me (for us), and wants to champ on, but I’m puzzled about it too.”

    So what you are saying is that she is trying to accommodate your needs. And wants to champ on. But you are puzzled and confused.

    How does that make you look in her eyes?

    How does that make her feel?

    Right, that she’s unable to accommodate you. You think she feels good about that?

    Which spirals downward and makes her feel less attractive, worthy and valuable as a wife.

    You better rethink your puzzled mindset and Frame.

    “This is our first kid, there are a lot of new feelings and pains and changes.”
    No Shit Sherlock!

    Sorry, it’s an English Phrase. And you can look it up.

    “Her belly is sizable now, and it disturbs me a lot that my dick is a couple of inches from my son.”

    Ask her obstetrician in the exam room next time you are there whether it should bother anyone. Just blurt it out during your accompanying your wife to a doctor visit.

    Ask your wife OUTSIDE OF THE BEDROOM if it should bother you or her. Just come out and ask it. And discuss it and see what she says.
    It’s a normal feeling. It doesn’t mean it is proper or correct to hold this feeling. Because you are making up this feeling. It is not medically unsafe unless her doctor tells you it is. And it can be enjoyable for both of you.

    Did you even take the time to Google search it?

    https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/sex-in-pregnancy/

    It’s perfectly safe to have sex during pregnancy unless your doctor or midwife has told you not to.

    Having sex will not hurt your baby. Your partner’s penis can’t penetrate beyond your vagina, and the baby cannot tell what’s going on.

    However, it’s normal for your sex drive to change during pregnancy. This isn’t something to worry about, but it’s helpful to talk about it with your partner.

    “I don’t enjoy sex like this at all, and as a result I avoid it.”

    And your wife told you she didn’t want it? She wants to have you like her carrying your child and doing that work and not have you creep away from her. To have you lead her and to have sex with her.

    “I don’t mind if this lasts for another 5-6 months if I know that I don’t fuck up anything with this and things will be back to normal at some point.

    You don’t mind if this lasts for another 5-6 months? What about her. She’s going to resent you for not finding her worth fucking or not find her sexually attracted for 5-6 months. And she’s going to invest all of her emotional energy and resentment of you into your first born son. Good luck with that.

    She needs you to be her husband. Lead the health of the relationship and be a strong father to your first-born. Not shirk away, crawl away, or be absent in the frame with her. She will grab that frame and bash it over your head at some point.

    I had experience on this. I didn’t screw it up. I remember the sex was good. And she was attractive. And she liked it.

    So what can you do? Don’t shirk leading. Don’t shirt being on an adventure with her. Don’t shirk entertaining her gracefully. Do healthy fun stuf with her. Exercise. Play games go places.

    Obviously this global pandemic must be taxing your going out and doing things. But you don’t need physical travel or adventure to not have emotional and fun adventure.

    I remember fucking my wife when she was pregnant by doing the usual “bouncing” around doing fun stuff. Which stimulated her desire.

    You don’t have to go out to do fun stuff. But it sure helps. I assume it is Springtime where you are and it can be a walk in the park and find some beauty in the rebirth from Winter.

    Take a moment to think of what fun stuff you can do this month. What adventures of the physical or mental can you do? How can you lead her to be healthy and feel good about herself. What can you do to show that you both will be good parents and have shared goals and you will implement those goals. What can you do both together or separate to talk to young parents that are doing a good job to raise their young kids? Huh? Are you looking for other parents to mentor after childbirth? Are you talking to parents, aunts, uncles that you think are good at raising kids?

  16. SJF

    Because you are making up this feeling.

    Umm. No. You feel it it’s not made up. It’s a feeling.

    I’ll say it again, I think the middle west has had some kind of “good man project” or tent revival.

  17. Asap please

    At this point she became resistant, ‘no this no

    Follow the steps as well. Attraction – comfort – seduction.

    Mystery has a few chapters on out of sequence outcomes.

    You can amp attraction through the roof and close with minimal comfort. And that’s where great logistics pay most dividends. But you need to get through comfort to get the trust to go on a trip to bang. Tight game generally you dont escalate too much physically unless you are in the sex location.

  18. Sentient

    “Umm. No. You feel it it’s not made up. It’s a feeling.”

    Good luck with that.

    Here’s some words about Asapleezes new found mind:

    There was this brain scientist Jill Bolt Taylor that one day had a brain stroke. It totally wiped out her left brain and she couldn’t talk or walk.

    The left side of your brain locks you into who you are. Where you came from, how to speak and what you have done from reference experiences. Including memories. That forms who you are.

    If you lose your left brain, you are still your same body. But not the old you. That had defined you. You are no longer defined by the boundaries of where you began and where you are ended now.

    That gives you the license to be as big as the universe. Fuck the old you. It was erased and no longer exists in the brain because of the infarct.
    And it turned out to be a beautiful experience for J.B. Taylor, because guess what? she didn’t want to re-engage with a world that felt like pure pain and chaos. Her old person died.

    Eight years later she regained her ability to function. And re-created herself.

    The right brain looks at the big picture of everything. Go out in nature and beauty and experience the vastness.

    The left brain takes that big picture and picks it apart into the details. You start looking at the broken sticks on the ground and the coyotes eating the bunnies and the destruction of a storm blowing down a majestic 80 year old burr oak tree. And all the work it is to put chaos into order.
    There is this little group of cells in our left brain that distinguish that we humans are different from each other instead of 99% genetically similar. And we give power to that left brain tiny mind because it has language. And it talks to us and it says I’m different. Separate from another.

    Think me, SJF. Always saying I’m different.

    The right brain is looking for similarities in us all. Like an artist or a musician, or a writer, or a creator.

    Think Rollo Tomassi. Saying what do we all have in common, males and females…

    And the trick is to get into a balance brain society.

    Men spend too much time in our left brain. About the past and about the future.

    I’ve been able to balance with a lot of creativity in my life with getting out and doing things creatively.

    Youngshagger was asking me if I ever had the features to have more kids than 2?. I told him:

    “That is an interesting and good question.

    I was the 2nd of four boys my parents had. We grew up in a neighborhood of families with 6, 8, 11, 14 kids.

    After my son was born we were pretty satisfied and busy on the go with life. We had a third unplanned pregnancy a couple years later, but unfortunately my wife miscarried at about three months. It was pretty devastating.

    She then had her tubes tied without asking me if I wanted more. Even if silently we felt the same way.

    But I didn’t and felt two children was best for me and my capabilities.

    It’s always been just the way I would have wanted it.

    To some extent, I wasn’t the patriarch that could have done better numbers than that. And I’m very satisfied how things turned out. “

    He said that is awesome, it seems to have worked out really well, you have a nice family it looks like.

    And that is true to me.

    And I followed up with, to him as a young man:

    “The thing is, you don’t plan out your future LTR girlfriends, wives and kids ahead of time.

    They flow from you living your best life…”

    And he could see that based on what he has done in his young life.

    In his classic book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl wrote, “When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves . . . Everything can be taken from a human but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

    That inner freedom helped Frankl survive the Holocaust, find meaning in his personal tragedy, and empower himself. He chose his response to his circumstances instead of letting the circumstances make the choice for him. And his famous quote helped millions of people discover the gap between our circumstances and our reactions.

    I still have a memory when I was 2 1/2 years old in November of 1963, and we were sitting in our new house watching the funeral caisson of John F. Kennedy on a 13 inch CRT red plastic television propped on the counter in the family room eating doughnuts. And didn’t feel much except a brave new world of a new ranch house on two acres with neighbors dropping off to say hello.

    So first memory recorded in the left brain. And of course he had that famous quote n his 14-minute 1961 inaugural speech, which addressed the United States’ role in the Cold War, Kennedy told Americans to ”ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country… ”

    What if you change that quote to:

    “Ask not what your life can do for you; ask what you can do for your life.” It’s a matter of flipping your perspective.

    You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die or when. But you do get to choose how you want to live in the present moment. And although it’s a powerful and awesome feeling when you make the choice, it’s not always easy to do.

    Life’s curve balls will slam you at lightning speed from all angles, from time to time, throwing you off your path. The question is, “What are you going to do about it?”

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-right-mindset/202004/the-90-second-rule-builds-self-control?eml

    It’s not PoPT. It’s simple brain science.

    And it is that which has been demonstrated.

    Just look at Asapleeze.

    And Culum.

  19. good luck with that

    So what like 2,500 words to dodge the point?

    Can you imagine a guy having a feeling and a frame – involving sex – and not accommodating a woman? Does he have any right to his own feelings and desires? Whatever they may be?

    She then had her tubes tied without asking me if I wanted more

    Whoa… Whoa… There hoss. That’s in league with “she then took a lover without asking me”…

    I’m not a fan of “Blue Pill” professor. That sect is way too interested in not ruffling feathers. I’ll stick with a Red Pill professor.

  20. <i.”Can you imagine a guy having a feeling and a frame – involving sex – and not accommodating a woman? Does he have any right to his own feelings and desires? Whatever they may be?”

    Yes. I think that is fine. Except for those guys that aren’t succeeding and they push their luck. From lack of skill. And boom goes the dynamite.

    You think I can’t imagine that or don’t practice that. But that is a story you tell. You missed the point where I’m not like everybody. And you dismiss my so called life as not successful. I’ll be the judge of that with also having measures outside myself. It’s not good to only measure yourself with yourself.

    “Whoa… Whoa… There hoss. That’s in league with “she then took a lover without asking me”…

    So you say. I didn’t want any more children. It was mutual. You had to be there. We were on the same page climbing the ladder the way we wanted to. And the investment in only two children paid off. They are adults and healthy and secure and delightful personalities, confident and assured.

    “I’m not a fan of “Blue Pill” professor. That sect is way too interested in not ruffling feathers. I’ll stick with a Red Pill professor.”

    He was a buddy of mine in real life across the cigar high top and out to my farm. At some point I didn’t agree with him. Because of you know what. I’ve explained it. Guys without charm, resources and their own man, amping dread because that’s all they got. A poor recipe. Top down approach instead of a bottoms up approach to actuall be DPA. And told him straight away. He wasn’t part of a sect. He was an individual on MRP reddit and I didn’t participate there. I browsed there. And what I saw there is every man was different. And most were not the type to not ruffle feathers. I don’t deny that he was acting behind the curve. And parroted Athol and Rollo. I’m not a fan of him either. I like his personality a lot. Not his tactics. His synthesis of Rollo and Athol for men that were behind the curve was not for nothing. It had some good praxeology and tips for the slow learners.

  21. I wonder what it’s like, not experiencing feelings.

    How does the way one sees the world, emotionless, compare to real life?

    I’ll never know.😩

    When I was.a.kid, I cried when ottis Redding died. Lol. I don’t remember Kennedy other than from the copies of Life magazine my folks had from after the assassination. I was barely 2 years old. I do remember Bobby Kennedy and MLK being killed.

    I think it was the first clue I had that something was awfully wrong with people in general. That and the death rolls from Viet nam on the nightly news.

    Think I’ll call my dad in the morning and berate him for not giving me enough rose colored glasses.

  22. I posted yesterday twice, but it seems the blogmotor ate it up.

    So anyway, thanks for the info guys. I will post whenever a situation happened which needs a breakup.

    @SJF:
    I did look up if it is safe to have sex, and the wife asked the doc too (who confirmed it). It is more of a mental hurdle for me. She is lucky with her figure, still could keep kinda slim despite the pregnancy, but still everytime I look at her my first thought is that we gonna have a baby soon. And while it is a happy thought for me, but a huuuge turnoff sexually.

    She feels terrible about being bigger than usual, she was slim in her whole life. I constantly keep reminding her that this (putting weight on during pregnancy) is the normal way of nature, so don’t worry (and also that she can easily get rid of it in a half year after the pregnancy lol). She of course constantly worries with every new pain and feelings in her body. It is good in a way, that I can be the reassuring calm one, I keep telling her that it is fine, the baby is growing, organs are pushed away, all this is normal and so on. A few days ago the topic of the panic was that the baby didn’t kick as much as much it used to. Then she started to panic that she must have hurted him when she lied on her back for half an hour(!) while reading lol. On the outside (I think) I react well for this. All I keep saying is that “don’t worry honey, this is all normal, everything will be fine”. The same regarding her looks. “Don’t worry, honey, you look good. You are carrying my baby, you should look like this, this is natural (and you can easily get rid of that fat after the baby is born lol)”

    (While often her problems like the kid kicking less for two days are easy to squash, on the inside sometimes I’m freaked out too. In the beginning I’ve worried a lot if the baby stays, there were several examples in our circle of friends for spontaneous abortions in the first half of the pregnancy. And for kids to born disabled. Scary stuff. I keep a good pokerface though, so this doesn’t get to her too much. In comparison to her I’m a stone.)

    So in general I feel comfortable handling the stuff above. I’m uncomfortable during sex though. And while it is “only” a mental thing, I’ve found that I’ve limited capability to change what turns me on/off sexually. And babies are a turn off lol. I’m aware that this makes her uncomfortable and insecure too.
    Both is part of the problem. But the info that this is temporary, and that it is not the proof of my incompetency or a red flag is reassuring to me.

  23. “So what like 2,500 words to dodge the point?”

    No. So over your fucking head?

    Feelings of not fucking your wife because she is carrying your baby and your dick may end up in her vagina? Near his head.

    My point is that is a made up feeling that has no left brain logic. It’s not a thing.

    That’s not a guy feeling. that is a made up girl feeling.

    I may be a clinical physician with only rational logic for what is in the best interest of the marriage or not. But that is just bat-shit crazy.

    Or maybe you mis-understood the fucking point.

    I get the she’s bitching at me and asking me to remove her socks and she’s getting a fat belly thing. Suck it up, but don’t feed her future aspirations to own you. This is the nascent start of Betatization. And everyone knows it.

    Her belly is sizable now, and it disturbs me a lot that my dick is a couple of inches from my son.”

    Ask her obstetrician in the exam room next time you are there whether it should bother anyone. Just blurt it out during your accompanying your wife to a doctor visit.

    Ask your wife OUTSIDE OF THE BEDROOM if it should bother you or her. Just come out and ask it. And discuss it and see what she says.
    It’s a normal feeling. It doesn’t mean it is proper or correct to hold this feeling. Because you are making up this feeling. It is not medically unsafe unless her doctor tells you it is. And it can be enjoyable for both of you.

    Did you even take the time to Google search it?

    It’s a normal feeling doesn’t mean you withdraw your dick for 6 months. JFC.

    What do you suggest?

    The worst song ever sung?:

    https://youtu.be/wU0Pp2n6ooE

    Or go sleep with other girls. Because it is thrilling?

    Last time I checked was that he should suck it up and fuck his wife, even if it makes him gag. For the team. What the hell is he going to do 13 years from now. Pull a Culum?

    Or what to you else suggest?

    6 month hiatus?

    Because of feelings. And whispered things. And Fears.

    Someone missed the point.

    The point is to reflect leading and moving through life instead of being passive because of feelings.

    So what again do Sentient and Blaximus suggest for rock solid recommendations for commenter HF that will go for the win. That will go for the win and not go for a loss?

    That is within his wheelhouse with his current feelings? His actual legitimate feelings? Him back on his heels? Asking questions he got his balls up to ask? Reeling from ignorance for advice from brothers that have been in his shoes?

    So what you are saying is don’t worry, give her space for 6 months. Or Crank up that fucking Dread? I can’t tell from your insistence on pushing back on me. It’s not about me. I did that 25 to 28 years ago. And I’m not about to forget it. I didn’t trip on the feelings

    What would you tell your son?

    Your feelings are valid. Just double down on them.

    https://youtu.be/rjBzXreFeWg

    And next comes Sentient saying if you don’t have 4 or 5 children you are not as masculine as he is. And if you don’t fuck other girls on the side, you don’t have authority. Got it. Go and tell it on your high horse. It’s next. Go tell it to the others. Go tell Rollo and Blax. Good luck with that.

  24. This video of a now gone Japanese game show just belongs here. If the wheel were blue instead of red it would be perfect.

  25. “While often her problems like the kid kicking less for two days are easy to squash, on the inside sometimes I’m freaked out too. In the beginning I’ve worried a lot if the baby stays, there were several examples in our circle of friends for spontaneous abortions in the first half of the pregnancy. And for kids to born disabled. Scary stuff. I keep a good pokerface though, so this doesn’t get to her too much. In comparison to her I’m a stone.)

    Welcome to the fact that you don’t have outcome over the control of your life in a philosophical vein.

    I’m not trying to be hard on you.

    The odds are definitely with you.

    The overwhelming odds are children are born normal.

    And kudos to you for reassuring your wife about the kicking. That’s just a wild notion she has. Why would your future son kick all the time. Perhaps only when he isn’t in a Zen State. Or if he is uncomfortable. I’ve heard that wombs are very comfortable for fetuses to hang out in if the mother is not stressed and gets good sex. Just saying. Not trying to rub it in. But maybe.

    After my son was born, after a day and the half, he stopped breathing and was blue in the face while embraced in my wife bosom. He looked fine to me. And we went home with my wife being freaked out. Sometimes a physician (me) you have a gestalt. And she wondered about whether to tell “Them” I made the executive decision that he was fine and to have us, the three of us go home. It was only my hunch. But it proved correct. The kid was fine. My wife was scared as fuck. I didn’t think much of it. I was busy with moving on, and that has nothing to do with what the potential implications of what would have been if he had some birth defect. He didn’t. It wasn’t callous it was move on and deal with life. A necessary fortitude without being stupid with offspring.

    It happened again at home. And I called a friend pediatrician resident and got him to be seen by a Pediatric Cardiologist. And he tested fine.

    And he lived gloriously ever after. It took resolute Frame. Do what needs to be done. And have resources.

    The thing is with kids. You might get more comfortable raising them after they get to the age of 22 years old.

    Once again, I’m not trying to be negative, on the way to 22 every step along the way is to be enjoyed as a challenge. And tough yet adventurous.

    And it certainly doesn’t hurt at all to have Euphoric Recall. Forget the bad stuff, remember the good stuff. How the fuck to do that? You can be a pot head or gain some skill in being like Blaximus.

    In regards to Red Pill, I didn’t have time to let my guard down. Because me, my wife and the kids were a fucking joy, every hurdle and adventure along the way. Too busy to be lazy. For 20 years. I can’t remember it being a slog. And then after that I got lazy. And spent 5 years drifting. And then woke up with skills I knew. And then came back to competence and confidence. In the last 5 years.

    Competence and confidence will do you well.

    I cooked an awful batch of Pad Thai chicken today with Shirataki noodles, all diabetic friendly and all. But didn’t have any good Fish Sauce, so I winged it with the Sambal Oelek, rice vinegar and such and no green onions, but a big fucking leek. And the stores didn’t have been sprouts, so fresh broccoli slaw…

    And I started cooking and my wife dived in with how many patients I saw today. It’s fricking hard with this telemedicine pandemic. But trying to keep head above water. So that’s the first question as I started cooking dinner because my Costco rotisserie chicken was de thawed for a couple days. Not going to wait another day. But then she shit tested me about wanting to cut my hair. You saw patients–you should have me cut your hair. When then I whipped out the fuck you’s. One is not the other. I didn’t explain. I set limits. On the conversation. And she just looked at me cooking dinner for a while…

    Good luck your 55th birthday tomorrow my beautiful wife.

    I think I’ll sneak out with a mask and buy some skittles at Kroger. Maybe a card to go along with it.

    And nothing else is allowed. So no going out. And I think she will probably go to work tomorrow. She picked up and got a job. That she went along willingly to pursue this past year. For the team. How the fuck did that happen? And no, she didn’t change her haircut. And no, I don’t even know if she even locks her phone. Who cares. And no she’s not out banging other guys.

    Any questions?

  26. @AR

    “This video of a now gone Japanese game show just belongs here. If the wheel were blue instead of red it would be perfect.”

    Nicely clinically retarded video. What is your statement about that?

    What is your point?

    And good night moon.

    And do you actually have any status with women? And how are your children doing?

    You’ve never mentioned anything about that. What’s that all about? I’ve never heard of a guy not opening up anonymously online. That’s something else with you. I guess you can play not to lose that way. Never mentioned a god-damn thing. What is with that? Why

  27. “… Or a.New ranch house with donuts.😁”

    It was a good feeling. That’s why I remembered it at 2.5 years. And you seem to have a bias about living well. Vs. living in hurricane land and hating on those men that don’t.

    And I went on to feel good for the next 56.5 years. All just pure fucking luck. No skill. Just golden fucking spoon. Or maybe just fucking Euphoric Recall. (look it up. It also is a current time mindset frame thing. Or you can bitch and moan. Good luck. With that. )

    Maybe you should take it up with Sentient.

    Any Other Complaints?

    Any other recommendations to to proletariat other than man up?

  28. HF
    She feels terrible about being bigger than usual, she was slim in her whole life.

    You mentioned it already but I’m reminding you: a pregger is a mass of hormones. All that estrogen is literally changing her brain in small ways, amping up her emotions, etc.

    She’s sure to be a mass of anxieties right now, and will be for a while after the birth as well. Verbal affirmations are a good thing but you really need to physically stay in touch with her, and that includes sex. You need to be in a very solid frame so that her anxieties do not run away with her. Yeah, that’s normal with women of any age but she’s going to have even more than usual.

    (While often her problems like the kid kicking less for two days are easy to squash, on the inside sometimes I’m freaked out too. In the beginning I’ve worried a lot if the baby stays, there were several examples in our circle of friends for spontaneous abortions in the first half of the pregnancy. And for kids to born disabled. Scary stuff. I keep a good pokerface though, so this doesn’t get to her too much. In comparison to her I’m a stone.)

    This is one of your jobs, for sure. I dunno how old she is, but if she’s in her 30’s the odds are in her favor. People freak out about a “1 – in – 70 chance” of some birth defect, when that’s really low odds.

    So in general I feel comfortable handling the stuff above. I’m uncomfortable during sex though. And while it is “only” a mental thing, I’ve found that I’ve limited capability to change what turns me on/off sexually. And babies are a turn off lol. I’m aware that this makes her uncomfortable and insecure too.

    Ok, you know intellectually that your problem with sex right now is affecting her. Think about this, she’s a ball of emotions, the last thing she needs is to get wound up with anxiety about you.

    Personal question: was this pregnancy your idea, her idea, or joint idea? Because I’ve known men who got all fussy about screwing their pregnant wives, and in those cases it turned out he wasn’t all that into kids.

    However you slice it, what you do now day by day is affecting the neural pathways in her brain. You are literally involved in the reconfiguration of her mind, so you need to establish inside your own frame what kind of sex relationship you will want 3 months after she delivers, 6 months after she delivers, a year later, etc.

    If you are treating her like some delicate glass flower now, you are setting yourself up for some weird behavior later when she’s likely to treat you as some cousin or other distant relative. You really need to get over this squeamishness now in order to re-establish a solid Frame in your head and in hers, because a second pregnancy will just reinforce whatever Frame is set during the first one.

  29. HF

    I’ve had the experience of being on sports teams including wrestling, went and searched for a cadre of men interested in the same thing (whitetail deer habitat) and pursued buddies in red pill.

    And if you would go to the search bar in the upper right of this Rollo blog and type in a search for the term for and essay “Tribes” you will get an understanding that in a tribe a guy might test you and in a tribe, some might be tight and loyal. In this experience you get to have your buddies, that have a clue, give you a hand up.

    https://i1.wp.com/therationalmale.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/tribes.jpg

    “So in general I feel comfortable handling the stuff above. I’m uncomfortable during sex though. And while it is “only” a mental thing, I’ve found that I’ve limited capability to change what turns me on/off sexually. And babies are a turn off lol. I’m aware that this makes her uncomfortable and insecure too.

    Both is part of the problem. But the info that this is temporary, and that it is not the proof of my incompetency or a red flag is reassuring to me.”

    Who gave you the info that babies are a turn off. Are you talking about babies in your wife now or after birth growing up. The former is just your feeling, or bad perception and expression of English. If you are talking after birth and raising them, then “Houston we have a Problem”–another English Idiom, look it up.

    You need other competent men to not be so confused.

    And your definition of temporary may be self soothing but it is not by far leading your wife. Don’t abdicate your position of charm, leading, fun or worth fucking her. Step up. Lead. Set limits. Be attractive, don’t be unattractive. Be charming. Do stuff you like. Don’t have to apologize for the money you make or the profession you pursue. Pursuing your profession is part and parcel of who you are as a man. And stuff flows from that.

    Ok, hold on here because the English might not translate well:

    Do not Catastrophize (to view or talk about (an event or situation) as worse than it actually is, or as if it were a catastrophe) or Pathologize ( to view or characterize as medically or psychologically abnormal)

    Having a baby is not a thing to pause about. Put your feet in the starting blocks and learn how to sprint. Sorry again for the English idioms.

    Present yourself as the best representation of yourself going forward.

    And learn how to do that by asking more questions here. I’m not advocating for just power of positive thinking.

    And Blax I’ve had to replace brake pads through my life. One time back in the 90’s my wife was working night shift as a nurse. She would work 7 PM to 7 AM. I would go to Derm Residency at a one hour drive @8 AM. We had a babysitter, she was cute and ambitious that would come in in the morning, take care of my daughter while my wife slept for a couple hours. She was great.

    But anyway, I had to replace my wife’s car brake pads. I think it was a Chevy Beretta. The night before I exchanged cars with her . I put my daughter to bed in the evening and went at it. I replaced the pads. But I don’t recall why but I bled the brake lines. I don’t recall but it was possibly brake cylinder vs. non cylinder. But anyway I totally wrenched and broke the bleed screw and it fucking broke off. And I had a moment of worry. And if I had a problem I couldn’t drive to work/residency in the morning. But everything worked. Those bleed screws were the smallest thing in the world as possible, perhaps 2.5 mm. Could have been dead in the water if it didn’t hold the brake fluid. But it did.

    Shit happens with children. And you carry on with your head held high. Not a burden but a joy to raise them till they are adults. That is my euphoric memory.

    Teach Your Children Well.

    Take care of yourself.

    Put your oxygen mask on first before you can help her and the children.

    The metaphor means be your best.

    Then lead. Don’t waver.

  30. Anonymus:

    Good question I have asked from myself too. When we got together, she was on her way to become a career gurll. She told me in the beginning, that she doesn’t want kids now, (we were 26), and that she doesn’t know yet but probably she never will. I told her that I doesn’t want either on the short term, but that there will be time when I will want to have a family. At the time we left it like that.

    I didn’t sweat the question back then, because I was pretty sure that as she will approach 30 her mind will change, and if it doesn’t I would have just broke up and find someone who wants to have a family. And anyway, back then even if I did want to have kids, I didn’t know if I would want it with her.

    Fast forward a couple of years, we stayed together. I got to know her much better, and decided that she would be a good wife and mother material. She found out pretty soon that the treadmill of the career path which is possible for her is not as glamorous as she was promised. Then she popped the question that she wants to start the kid project (at 29, who would have thought lol). I didn’t yet. I said no, then we had a small argument her demanding from me to explain why I don’t want to have kids at the moment. I literally thought how Sentinel would react and said that because I don’t feel like it. She did snatch from me a promise though, that that will change at some point when I specify it.

    That discussion stopped there, but with smaller amplitude she brought it up in a gentler way time to time. And it put a bug in my head. I’ve started to think a lot about it. A lot of my friends become fathers in the past few years, and I had honest one-on-one discussions about them on the topic. And I’ve changed my mind. I want to have a legacy, I want to have the experience and adventure of raising kids. And while I’m financially not at the point I would prefer yet, but it is good enough. How much her gentle nagging affected me, and how much it was my decision? I’m not sure, I’ve asked the same question from myself. But while she may have been a catalyst, when the test came back positive (very soon after we stopped using contraception), I felt intense happiness. So I think I’m good on this part.

    Regarding the rest of what you wrote I’ll think about it.

    (Reading this back not all numbers are adding up completely, I’ve changed some details to avoid easy identification, but in the part that matters I’m honest here.)

  31. And yes, I’m aware how textbook classic story is mine. But I’ve put a lot of effort on finding out my real motivations behind my feelings (I know, babies all the way). I want to do this. And the current dynamic in my marriage is great. If I can keep it this way it will be awesome. Obviously having a kid will throw a wrench in the system, but I know happy families with happy (and alpha) fathers. It is possible to do it, and I’m gonna do it. (With some help from here too lol)

  32. SJF

    #triggered

    Feelings of not fucking your wife because she is carrying your baby and your dick may end up in her vagina? Near his head.

    Some smart guy has said attraction is not a choice so there is that. Lack of attraction – for whatever reason is not a “made up feeling”… Lol

    I suspect that there is an eco bio reason for men to feel strange about sex once a pregnancy gets advances. Prolly has something to do with the futility of drilling a plugged well. I’m sure this kind of unallowed knowledge is well hidden.

    Maybe kfg knows.

    So you say. I didn’t want any more children. It was mutual.

    Well the feeling (heh) of not wanting more kids may have been mutual, her actions were unilateral. You wrote she did not ask you and had it done.

    That is a violation because you have a right to her body and she shouldn’t undertake decision making without your input if not outright approval.

    But some guys come home and their wife has a new haircut or color…

    [Rrrrr. Copy pasta error. Rollo fix this site!]

    CONT.

  33. From the male perspective:

    That bun is already in the oven. Nothing to do but wait for it to pop out. In the meantime there are a lot of other ovens sitting idle.

  34. So what again do Sentient and Blaximus suggest for rock solid recommendations for commenter HF that will go for the win. That will go for the win and not go for a loss?

    See it’s the “not go for a loss* bit that keeps shining through on your posts the last few months. When you play not to lose you usually end up losing something.

    And that is the Purple Pill seeping out.

    Now you can play to win amd still lose but at least you did as you could and can have some dignity.

    What would you tell your son?

    Same as I told HF way up there. It’s ok to feel that way. Sex will be sub optimal for a short time. Make the best of it.

    Now if he wanted to go smash some side girl or not stick his dick up mext to his kid… Well what does the Platinum Rule suggest?

    And next comes Sentient saying if you don’t have 4 or 5 children you are not as masculine as he is. And if you don’t fuck other girls on the side, you don’t have authority. Got it. Go and tell it on your high horse. It’s next. Go tell it to the others. Go tell Rollo and Blax. Good luck with that.

    See that’s not something I ever said. It’s interesting you feel that way. It’s interesting that you feel an appeal to authority would matter?

    HF – sounds like you got this. She will be scared etc. You are doing great being her rock and not letting her see yiur own fears and doubts.

    She sounds like she wabts tobplease you. Keep that dynamic in place and all will be well.

  35. The first pregnancy was a tutorial and learning experience for me. I didn’t have internet way back then, so I had to talk to as many women that had had kids, and as many doctors as I could muster. I fully understood the mechanics, but I had to learn the hormonal.

    I admit, I was still highly attracted to wifey while she was pregnant. When was actually very horny for the first 6 months, but she didn’t think she looked attractive to me. When used to joke that she appreciated the mercy fucks, lol.

    But they weren’t mercy fucks. I thought she was beautiful fulfilling her highest role as a mother/mother to be.

    Was she high strung? Yes. Emotional? Yes. Moody? Yes. Did it frustrate me? Nope.

    Re: sex. I had lots of sex with wife. She initiated a lot more. I couldn’t throw her across the room into bed, or pick her up in a suplex position, or pin her ankles behind her ears and pile drive her into the mattress, but we still managed very good and satisfying sex.

    After my daughter was born, my wife had close to zero sex drive for pretty much a month. Her doc told me it was due to a massive hormonal adjustment and she’d be fine.

    With my second wife the hormonal shenanigans were much more pronounced. I had a grasp already so it wasn’t difficult. She was convinced I was gonna snap and leave her, lol.

  36. Yeah kfg, I understood the message from your first (snippy) reply. It is something in my head too, but so far I don’t feel the urge to try out other ovens (not more than usually anyway). I will see if that change. As long as I have confidence that this marriage works out the way I want on the long term, I don’t plan to jeopardize it on the short term. One thing is to understand why my instincts work in a way they work, and another thing is if I act on them or not.

    (Funny thing is , years back when I’ve first met the redpill here on the TRM I usually skipped your comments because they usually made no sense for me at the time. I’ve thought you are just an idiot who has issues with reading comprehension. Oh man was I wrong.)

  37. “I understood the message from your first (snippy) reply.”

    And I’m sure you understand that it wasn’t a recommendation, just a description of where your hind brain is at. The male sexual strategy and resulting imperative.

    We have forebrains as well and if used properly they can come in handy.

  38. @asa

    “ At this point she became resistant,”

    You’d gone overt – and her ASD was kicking in – despite the fact she’d had hold of your cock- she couldn’t possibly agree to come back to your place without plausible deniability.

    She’s not THAT type of girl… oh no..

    Where do you think “just coming up for coffee” came from or “have a look at my etchings”…

    If logistics had been tighter she could have just stepped up for a moment..

    One thing I like about living in a flat rather than a house is once their in it you don’t get the pushback against “going up the stairs” you do when you live in a house. When they’re in the flat you can walk them to the bedroom or throw them over your shoulder and carry them.

  39. Wow, I was inspired by Palmasailor’s Iron Man comment.

    @CS,

    Before I begin, I married a unicorn over 30 years ago. As much as I try to relate to some of the issues raised here, they have not applied to me or without the same gravity. Some or all of any advice may be inapplicable. Also, a Man has to take his own path, and as someone pointed out, “We’re grown men here we don’t need to justify our life choices to anyone.”

    Take some, but not too much offense from this joke:

    Husband: “Wife, I’m leaving you. I’ve got to find me some new pussy.”
    Wife: “If your dick was an inch longer, you’d find some new pussy right here.”

    I was prepping my lawn tractor and listening to TTS-The Rational Male (I don’t know why other’s don’t try this, but I’ve already offered the knowledge and been rejected), when I heard the bombshell that The Marquis and Culum Struan were the same person.

    It reminded me of a post where the M’s Son had maliciously broken a babysitter’s iPhone, and the M’s response was pretty weak. I’m not easily taken to violence, but had my Son done this, I am certain that my red handprint would have remained on his ass for days and a draconian restitution program would have begun. It seemed to me that M was acting as a father of divorce who cannot lose the love of his little buddy through discipline—this is failure!

    It’s pretty apparent that you shrink away from your duties as a Father. Leaving your family to go to Bruce Lee Fantasy Camp for months—who does this? What’s the point? Most of us gave up the dream of being able to kick ass like in the 70’s Kung Fu movies when we were in our late teens. And destroying your body in the process. The Great Blaximus, who rarely admits to error, has remarked that boxing and heavy lifting have caused him some serious consequences.

    You need to stop intentionally being the fun Dad conspiring with your little buddy son against your wife. You need to take control where necessary, accept your wife’s control over things that in theory you delegated to her and support her efforts where appropriate.

    I just had a confrontation with my 22 YO Son. We are all a little stir crazy with lockdown. She was Motherly nagging him. He told her to, “Shut the fuck up!” I firmly reminded him that he can say that he doesn’t want to discuss the issue, walk/run away, whatever, but if he think’s it’s alright to disrespect his Mother, it’s time for him to move out of my house.

    Your wife sounds like she is handling the child rearing and is ready to take on the provider role. What do you bring to the table? You have to figure out if you want this woman in your life, and then if you can keep this woman in your life. All this talk of returning to “Emerald City”, sounds a bit pathetic to me. If your house is on fire, it seems to me, you need to put the fire out–not move the house.

    Going back to listen only. Keep up the good work regular commenters.

  40. @Palmasailor

    “when i came back in the early morning, the gash and spaghetti splatter were still on the wall… and stayed there til she cleaned it up (2 months)…”

    I know that @HABD knows this now looking back but I’ll point it out for @CS; if he’d gone AWOL for a couple of days then she would have cleaned that up. If he’d gone for a week she’d have cleaned it up and repaired and re painted the wall.

    the actual spaghetti and other stuff WAS cleaned up when i got home… the ‘stain’ from the sauce splatter and the drywall gash stayed there for 2 months…

    Leaving it there was an enduring shit test.

    you might think that…lol…, but ((I)) left it up as a reminder…lol… she never even brought it up…lol

    and when she finally felt ‘safe enough’ to bring it up, she asked my permission to patch and paint…

    First to blink loses. I’ll guarantee she marched in all her friends – their husbands – the gardener – all of which “tut tutted” about his “disgusting” behaviour and she pulled that societal shame on him and he said the equivalent of “they can all fuck off”. And didn’t fold.

    she did bring it up to some friends and family, but it wasn’t ‘testing’… it was more like “holy SH*T!!! how could i have been so wrong!… i don’t want a divorce!!!…”

    lol… but, you’re right, i didn’t fold… and she has referred to this incident (a couple times) as the moment i ‘broke her’…

    THAT was where his self esteem really kicked in. “Fuck you I’m not cleaning it up” – there wasn’t any checking lines of Python to find the glitch. It was a “fuck off” situation coming from a place of meaning it.

    yep… but neither one of us brought it up…

    If he’d cracked and cleaned that up the guard dog would have started to spin up again from a lower RPM starting point; but it would have spun up harder to “test the previous limit” (test the extent of her vulnerability).

    true…

    She had to clean it up and he knew that, and after she’d cleaned it up she probably went to the bedroom with her forlorn little girl pouty face said “I’m sorry” and fucked him.

    the sex was pretty good after that…lol… even with me ‘living’ in the guest room…lol

    good luck!

  41. @disgruntledearthling

    @HABD
    “i yelled at her ( in front of the kids… where she thought she was going to be safe) “then why don’t we just get a f*king divorce!!!…””

    OMG I remember doing much the same thing (minus the mess on the wall) 5 years ago, ending my 28 year common-law relationship with the mother of my children. Unfortunately, I was too emotional and not strategic enough and I really did end it then and there. Had I known about RP I may have had the foresight to use that event to my advantage.

    there wasn’t anything really ‘strategic’ in my thinking when i did it, i really just lost it and was done putting up with her sh*t…

    good luck!

  42. @SJF

    i’m glad to hear that @Forge is doing well… say hi for me the next time you talk to him…

    good luck!

  43. @asappleeze

    Also did the exercise HABD proposed in terms of texting girls with no logical stuff, interesting results = instareplies in some cases where fucking delays were the norm usually.

    you seem surprised…lol… when you stop ‘texting like a beta’ (logical), you get ‘non-beta’ interest (alpha/emotional) from ‘da girls’…lol

    good luck!

  44. @palmasailor

    “I could write an awful lot about how core self respect has saved me from bad places in business as well as personally if anyone wants me to?

    It’s quite a lot of work and a long way off topic but if someone wants me to I’ll do it.”

    I’d like to read your thoughts on this topic Palma

  45. @ Palmasailor

    TTS is Text-to-Speech. I found a way to convert the comments into individual mp3 files that I listen to while doing manual labor or driving. You mentioned that you are walking 10 miles a day during the pandemic. You might try this. I’m bored and don’t feel like working. So, I’ll post a couple of pages in TTS. It’s pretty easy to do. About 3 hours of listening material can be created in about 15 minutes. The basic cost of the software needed is under $70. Incidentally, Culum Struan and kfg answered my concerns about doxing.

  46. @ YoungShagger – you need to discover if she is excited by the Alpha-you (and Beta-you…the whole complex you) and not the Alpha-plan for a the future with cash and prizes. The woman who became my wife wanted me when I was down and broke and has not wavered in good and bad fortune. I agree with Blaximus when he questions some of the Alpha by virtue of financial success porn. The whole waiting at the finish line is the wrong metaphor. It’s more like an endless Tour de France. Will she bail on you if you fall behind the pack in any of the stages. Does she want you or a yellow jersey for her collection? AND Catholic girls…Pleeeezzze! My first girlfriend was a Catholic Asian—the holy grail of women, supposedly. She insisted that if we had children they would have to be raised Catholic. She dumped me when she started her new college life. Then she became twice divorced—apparently never satisfied with any of her men. She alienated herself from most of her family members. Then, she went back home to live with her parents. I’m not Catholic, but I thank the Virgin Mary for keeping her out of my life. At the time, I would have been dumb enough to think it was normal and stay.

  47. PalmaSailor
    Right now it’s beer o’clock and Life on Mars.

    A perfect movie for the current environment: “The Martian” starring Matt Damon in a kind of Robinson Crusoe role. The book is better but the movie captures the mindset well enough.

  48. O/t

    Was outside putting down turf builder, when I look up and see the blue angels and thunderbirds flying low directly overhead.

    They flew North and turned east then South over Manhattan.

    Now that’s something you don’t see everyday……or ever.😁

  49. Text-to-Speech The Rational Male Field Reports

    Listen to Field Reports. Individual comments are numbered mp3 tracks spoken by different TTS voices. Regular commenters have fixed voices. Enjoy while exercising or commuting.

    RM_FR_153.zip
    https://anonymousfiles.io/OZp4FdyO/
    63.4 megabytes

    RM_FR_154.zip
    https://anonymousfiles.io/JzwKyoJU/
    52.4 megabytes

    RM_FR_155P.zip
    https://anonymousfiles.io/g544svRO/
    12.9 megabytes

    Files expire May 5, 2020.

  50. From last months betting… Last night was settlement date

    Global Infected – 1.1M
    Global Dead – 60k

    US Infected – 110k
    US Dead – 15k

    UK Infected – 25k
    UK Dead – 3k

    So here are the stats…

    Global Infected – 3.249M
    Global Dead – 232K

    US Infected – 1.067M
    US Dead – 62.8K

    UK Infected – 172K
    UK Dead – 26.8K

    So well off on the numbers,but directionally, looks OK

    anyone else have any projections?

  51. Palma

    Well that bet was a month back to 4/30.

    Asappleeze

    “Do you perceive all this to be engineered, or force majeure?”

    I’ll say – neither.

    I think it was an accidental release and once the cat was out of the bag various entities acted swiftly to take advantage of the opportunity. Definitely part of the trade war with China as well as the socialist take over of the US… Toss in some run of the mill crony caplitialism.

    Clusterfuck sounds about right.

    Back to the projections… Current levels do not justify 30m US unemployed and counting. And the fallout still falling. I see history declaring the Swedes the winners.

    https://mobile.twitter.com/OfWudan/status/1245960265142808578

  52. The thing about liquidity, is that technically it can be produced by a progra m and a few keystrokes.

    Money hasn’t been real for a century.

    As far as u.s. Unemployment, we are in great depression era territory. That 30 million number is a dream because millions more can’t apply for u employment ( that’s how they are ” counted “l yet because no systems are up to snuff to handle the applications. Amazon could do it better.

    Yeah the disconnected stock market has been staging rallies, but it’s just a matter of time.

    I’d think we’d be a few more months before any real unrest happens. We’re seeing mini staged protests of a few hundred people that all got together on social media. That’s not real. The food lines are growing, people can’t pay rents and mortgages, nor can many receive benefits due to the overwhelming crush. That’s where the real problems will start.

    30 more days? 60 more days?

    If we don’t see any huge spikes in infection numbers, stuff will reopen sooner than later. That’s when we probably will see a huge spike come around again. I’m not sure how many spikes the country can realistically survive before turning into Croatia, but I also doubt that people have another 60 days of no work, stay at home left in them. So its possible this shit could actually get worse when we try to make it better.

    Talk about a rock and a hard place.

  53. Blax

    Yeah the disconnected stock market has been staging rallies,

    Well it appears disconnected but it is very intentional amd working as designed. SPY trades over 16% returns.

    🎩😂🍸💸💰

  54. I’m more optimistic though. Look at Sweden: there are some restrictions so it is not completely lassez faire, but didn’t collapse and doesn’t seem to. Same with Belarus. Very minimal restrictions, and still minimal problems regarding healthcare. They are not a posterboy of transparency obviously, but they are more connected to the outside world then North Korea, so if there would be situations like in Bergamo or NY at the worst days, it would get out.

    If there are some basic restrictions, like no concerts/night clubs, everyone wears masks everywhere we could be ok (Would be a nightmare of the PUA though). The numbers of dead would slow to a trickle, and at that point people will stop caring about it. As long as there will be no situations like in NY at its worst days, it could work.

    The economy will reset that’s for sure though, but it may be for the better. I don’t know about civil unrest, I don’t see that around here in Central-Europe. Friends in Germany says the same about there, I have no idea how it is in the UK or the US (or other places in the EU). It will be in everyone’s interest (including the elite) that people have the bare minimum: food and cheap entertrainment. As long as those can be provided, there will be no revolution.

    On a related topic: can someone recommend a good book on the Great Depression? I’m not that much interested in the cause, but more in how the aftermath was in the US.

  55. @Sentient: lol. Jokes aside, if you don’t see half of the other one’s face it makes the game harder. Sure there are plenty other ways to see/judge reactions and emotions but the face is a pretty important tell normally.

    Regarding Croatia I was a little slow this morning (and too young in the 90s). It is called a powderkeg for a reason. During a “normal” financial collapse it wouldn’t play out like that. More like Venezuela or Weimar. Argentina provided a couple of examples in the last 100 years too.

  56. Palma

    Was her ego really that fragile that she just couldn’t bear to talk to me anymore..? Wouldn’t that be pathetic?

    Well obviously it was that fragile and it was pathetic. The bigger question is how many other men has she blown out, and how many had tight enough text game (or were sad enough) to stay in her validation orbit. I’ll bet almost none. I’ll guarantee that THAT woman has run out of validation cock in her online pipeline because she’s rejected it all.

    Palma I think this is just the reality of online. It’s effortless to unmatch. BLIP! done. On to the next message.

    And I’m not sure they every really run out of validation. sure she may have exhausted her local option – the real logistics – but the “Urrr soo pretty” from 80Km away are still there. Validation is validation and denial is a river in Egypt for them. They are not rational.

    for your bums – carry a stick…

  57. Palma

    Well they haven’t gotten to India yet…

    If I were you i’d play a bit with calibration… Tone things down juuuuuuust a skoch and focus on looking to move convos to text and off the app ASAP. Might take things out of the clouds so to speak and make her realize this is a real situation, not just an unmatch.

  58. In the end I phoned age appropriate dog woman to tell her I was cooking

    I had an age-appropriate women (52yo, I’m 61) come over Saturday to cook me some steaks for supper. We’d been chatting for the past week so finally she dared breaking quarantine. Big boobs, not in that bad shape but looked soft and plumpy from the outside. Didn’t bang – women that age seem to just want the perfect provider or something. You’d think they’d realize they’re on there last miles…

    Called up an 21yo SB I’ve been banging for a couple of years off and on and she came by Sunday morning and left Monday afternoon. Less expensive than than a fancy dinner and always eager to please.

  59. @Palma
    I’ve nothing else to do.

    Well… there’s still ‘hazmat suit pickup’:

    £100 for 5 separate infields of you in a hazmat suit approaching <30yo girls during lockdown! Further £50 if one of them gives you her number and responds to your initial text.

    Create a Patreon page and maybe others will top it up.

  60. IRL

    Very solid infield. Love Vadim’s vibe. So chill.

    I don’t know what the single guys are doing online… You can get numbers all day long just doing your thing, walking around, errands…

    jeeez…

  61. @IRL

    Very good infield video, reminds me of the infields with a man in a “fat suit” from a couple of years back.

  62. I’m so glad I’m not autististic or clinically retarded or have no Game.

    The shutdown has me more focused on getting shit done.

    Which is in my wheelhouse.

    It’s been said: This crisis will make you more like yourself, as other’s like themselves. It shows your true colors.

    That is true to a certain extent and in some cases to a large extent.

    It is bringing out the clinically retarded in the Red Pill space, though. And it’s pretty obvious.

    Because something has to give.

    I have this thing every year. Wife’s birthday, week later our anniversary, then one or two weeks later mother’s day. This year, Mother’s Day was one week later.

    In red pill fashion, I gave my wife an acrylic cat statue that I bought from Costco that is a spitting image of one of her cats. Instead of skittles. 55th birthday, $10 present. No Card.

    And for the 30th Anniversary of our wedding, I got a $30 bottle of French Champagne and a $30 Maine lobster tail, that kinda clashed her bringing home some margarita mix and decent tequila for May 5, Cinco de Mayo.

    Oh, and today my daughter and son in law came by. And the daughter was enthused. By my wife. And so was my mother talking with her. For mother’s day. She’s the only upper relative we have left. Her parent’s are gone and so is my father. And my mother is pristine in her health, say 85 y.o., or so.

    But the covid shutdown has been fine

    Withouth the hard red pill dread, we just live within ourselves and deal with ourselves. Housework is no big deal, because I don’t do it. Cooking meals is like a joy. Because we have all kinds of food in inventory.

    And life is not a problem.

    And sex is fine.

    And the lockdown has set me an my buddies on best behavior.

    It is said that that this shit hat put people on to what they do best. For better or for worst.

    Do your best guys.

    Same as it ever was.

  63. You can’t make this shit up and you should’nt make up apologiest for not acting like me, Blax, Rollo, Sentient or others have move on through life, despite what ever hurdles may present themselves.

    No lie,

    I just heard these songs:

    When all is going to shit you might as well sing along.

    https://www.songfacts.com/facts/linkin-park/crawling

    https://www.songfacts.com/facts/pearl-jam/better-man

    https://www.songfacts.com/facts/sheryl-crow/a-change-would-do-you-good

  64. Ok, and the fourth song was from Imagine Dragons

    And it is an imprint on the soul of red pill. You can’t simply be a clinically retard:

    And here it was it was:

    Natural
    by Imagine Dragons

    Will you hold the line?
    When every one of them is giving up or giving in, tell me
    In this house of mine?
    Nothing ever comes without a consequence or cost, tell me
    Will the stars align?
    Will heaven step in? Will it save us from our sin? Will it?
    ‘Cause this house of mine stands strong

    That’s the price you pay
    Leave behind your heartache, cast away
    Just another product of today
    Rather be the hunter than the prey
    And you’re standing on the edge, face up ’cause you’re a

    Natural
    A beating heart of stone
    You gotta be so cold
    To make it in this world
    Yeah, you’re a natural
    Living your life cutthroat
    You gotta be so cold
    Yeah, you’re a natural

    Will somebody
    Let me see the light within the dark trees’ shadows and
    What’s happenin’?
    Lookin’ through the glass find the wrong within the past knowin’
    We are the youth
    Cut until it bleeds, inside a world without the peace facing
    A bit of the truth, the truth

    That’s the price you pay
    Leave behind your heartache, cast away
    Just another product of today
    Rather be the hunter than the prey
    And you’re standing on the edge, face up ’cause you’re a

    Natural
    A beating heart of stone
    You gotta be so cold
    To make it in this world
    Yeah, you’re a natural
    Living your life cutthroat
    You gotta be so cold
    Yeah, you’re a natural

    Deep inside me, I’m fading to black, I’m fading
    Took an oath by the blood of my hand, won’t break it
    I can taste it, the end is upon us, I swear
    Gonna make it
    I’m gonna make it

    Natural
    A beating heart of stone
    You gotta be so cold
    To make it in this world
    Yeah, you’re a natural
    Living your life cutthroat
    You gotta be so cold
    Yeah, you’re a natural

    Natural
    Yeah, you’re a natural

    https://youtu.be/0I647GU3Jsc

  65. Fellas. So a bit of an update on my ‘reproductive problem’ as Rollo would put it lol. I’ve been busy with work stuff and other personal projects so there has been little preoccupation with it until the last couple of days. Rightly or wrongly I’ve dived back into the app sphere the last couple of days, its different to how it was in the sense I need to message / text my way to the bang owing to the inability to simply arrange a date and take from there. So I’m using a very direct approach the last couple of days in terms of being very sexual quickly in order to seperate the wheat from the chaff as there are untold women who just want to waste time with texting and attention seeking. This looks like baring some fruit with a couple of girls, but they are barely acceptable tbh and I would not want to rely on that going forward in the lockdown environment.

    Regarding the Nordic girl, no contact in either direction for three weeks now. The regular posters know the details and I would be interested in hearing your proposed ‘path to daylight.’ I’ve had plenty of internal battles if truth by told in terms of feeling like she is my best or only option but have remained steadfast, it all seems to align with what is written on this blog and field reports section.

    Regarding the Australian chick, I will reproduce the last two texts she has sent to me, I’ve just gone silent on her, not making a point particularly, I’ve just been busy with other shit:

    Sun 3 May Her: Hi Asa, how you going? Did you catch covid? Or you cosy in your new relationship? Hope you good!

    Mon 4 May: So thats a no to being friends (note – I had explicitly told her had no interest in being her friend). Shame because I thought you were a really cool guy and even if nothing happened between us I would of liked to be mates with you. Take care xxx it was lovely to meet you x

    Any thoughts on this? She was a pretty cool girl and she definitely ‘passed the hard-on test’ so I would be interested in thoughts on this and possible approach etc.

    Three other live options outside of the app sphere as follows:

    I mentioned that I went out a couple of times with a girl I dated when we were both in our twenties. In her twenties she was a knock out, and whilst she is still in shape etc and nothing has changed as such, a ‘je ne sais quoi’ has gone and you’d no longer describe her as beautiful. Its strange, like her spirit has gone, I know its called ‘the Wall’ in the ‘sphere but still, to see it like that on one who had such vivacity was strange. In the two dates I went out with her, the first I was a nervous wreck as it was the first date post LTR. Nevertheless we had a highly charged kiss at the end of the date, but I failed to close. Next date she was quite cold, and was slow to respond to a text I sent her thereafter. We have subsequently arranged to meet on two occasions but I cancelled on both occasions. Thought on this?

    Then there is the Hungarian I mentioned, recent text interaction as follows (think I might have blown this, but feedback appreciated for the learnings):

    I (genuinely) sent a text to her by accident that was intended for my brother (bit of a luddite to be honest)
    Her: Wrong number
    Me: Meant to go to my mate. Who is this?
    Her: No one, Asappleeze. Good night
    Me: Lol. So you got your phone back from the nutter that texted last time
    Her: ?
    Her: What are you talking about?
    Her: Did someone actually text you from my number?
    Me: Fuck knows. Bored with lockdown yet?
    Her: Im enjoying it
    Me: Fabulous, I’m sure its a wild party for you
    Her: Far from a wild party haha
    Me: You know where I am
    Her: Tell me (smiley emoticon)
    Her: Oh well if you don’t want to, its fine
    Her: Have fun
    Her: Oh I see what you mean lol (smiley emoticon)
    Me: Aha!
    Her: No, i won’t come to see you
    Her: But thanks
    Me: Who said anything about coming to see you. You must have a dirty mind. Goodness me.
    Her: I still remember how nice it was when you hugged me and we had a quick nap. That felt amazing, really needed that (lol by the way)
    Me: How utterly lovely, we simply must have an amazing nap together again. Next time though lets nap for even longer
    Her: No can do
    Me: No that would be a terrible way to spend a couple of hours. Your ideas suck

    Feedback? Also looking for general guidance. Part of me thinks just fuck all of the above off and start from scratch, but pragmatically speaking the longer I go without the thirstier I will get etc

    There is one other option that will take a bit of explaining and I have run out of time, need to go pick my son up. Look forward to any feedback you may have fellas

  66. Asapplease

    Well if you go back online you have to keep in mind the advantages and the limitations and take it from there with perspective.

    Regarding the Nordic girl, no contact in either direction for three weeks now. The regular posters know the details and I would be interested in hearing your proposed ‘path to daylight.’

    Three weeks? I’d say you are about right for a ping test. Suggest something visual that will get a reaction and play it up from there. Be wary of her setting an apology trap… And you need to have a path to close her. No texting around and can’t get together because virus stuff. If you can’t see people wait to open when you can.

    https://i.redd.it/dxswkicav5041.jpg

    This might not be the right one… lol

    Sun 3 May Her: Hi Asa, how you going? Did you catch covid? Or you cosy in your new relationship? Hope you good!

    Mon 4 May: So thats a no to being friends (note – I had explicitly told her had no interest in being her friend). Shame because I thought you were a really cool guy and even if nothing happened between us I would of liked to be mates with you. Take care xxx it was lovely to meet you x

    Errr don’t get too caught up in the terminology or explicitly defining things. It’s fine if she thinks of you as a “friend” and YOU not acting like one… Engage, game, escalate… be that sexual threat. THEN if you can’t close her… move on.

    I often tell girls we can be friends… like this. “you don’t wanna be my friend?” lol

    Think strategic while also thinking tactical. chess not checkers is the saying.

    Me: How utterly lovely, we simply must have an amazing nap together again. Next time though lets nap for even longer
    Her: No can do

    This is where you lost this… Read it 10 times for punishment. Also NOTE how your inadvertant ping text opened her up and you handle a slew of shit tests and got her going…

    DO THIS with the Nordic one… BUT don’t lapse into this kind of overt beta mistake. Don’t be afriad to put some pressure on her with silences and gaps and CHANGE THE TOPICS/Non Sequiturs…… You need to feel it out.

  67. @Sentient

    Haven’t fully caught up but this:

    “Me: How utterly lovely, we simply must have an amazing nap together again. Next time though lets nap for even longer
    Her: No can do”

    Might have been lost in translation to American.

    He was taking the piss out of her.

    Piss taking may have been missed on her as well which could be why she bounced it..

    Just a thought

  68. Palma

    The first part may be piss taking

    Next time though lets nap for even longer

    This part chasing to my eyes.

  69. ASAP

    Think hard about the dynamics going on in this part

    I (genuinely) sent a text to her by accident that was intended for my brother (bit of a luddite to be honest)
    Her: Wrong number
    Me: Meant to go to my mate. Who is this?
    Her: No one, Asappleeze. Good night
    Me: Lol. So you got your phone back from the nutter that texted last time
    Her: ?
    Her: What are you talking about?
    Her: Did someone actually text you from my number?
    Me: Fuck knows. Bored with lockdown yet?
    Her: Im enjoying it
    Me: Fabulous, I’m sure its a wild party for you
    Her: Far from a wild party haha

    Another approach – Walla used to use the ellipsis ping text.

    Sooo loaded.

    1. @sentient

      Cheers for the reply. Some thoughts on your feedback:

      “…Well if you go back online you have to keep in mind the advantages and the limitations and take it from there with perspective…”

      I’m a bit weary of the format already, and the reality is that I am capable of getting better women in the face to face realm i.e the nordic, than on the apps. It feels like you’re behind the eight ball on the apps and there is a lot that I cannot convey digitally. I will abandon them, timing needs to be right though as throwing the baby out with the bathwater ain’t gonna help.

      “…Three weeks? I’d say you are about right for a ping test. Suggest something visual that will get a reaction and play it up from there. Be wary of her setting an apology trap… And you need to have a path to close her. No texting around and can’t get together because virus stuff. If you can’t see people wait to open when you can…”

      No logistical obstacles to closing with this one. So need to think about what to send. Your prompts on the texts with the Hungarian are helpful in that regard. I’ve not come across the term ‘ping test’. And what is this ‘ellipsis’ ping text of which you speak?

      “…I often tell girls we can be friends… like this. “you don’t wanna be my friend?” lol…”

      Great clip. More counterintuitive stuff but I get it lol

      “…DO THIS with the Nordic one…”

      Understood, see below for context

      “…Think hard about the dynamics going on in this part…”

      I’ve put my thoughts on the dynamics around the interaction here

      Her: Wrong number
      Me: Meant to go to my mate. Who is this?
      Her: No one, Asappleeze. Good night

      So there is the initial excitement of getting a random and unintended text from a guy she had an illicit fling with. Then with the ‘who is this’ perhaps this is followed by the disapointment/rejection of me having deleted her number and forgotten about her? So already an up and down emotional ride in two little texts? Then….

      Me: Lol. So you got your phone back from the nutter that texted last time
      Her: ?
      Her: What are you talking about?
      Her: Did someone actually text you from my number?
      Me: Fuck knows. Bored with lockdown yet?

      With the lol once again its ah he does remember, so up again. then with the ‘so you got your phone back…” this would have spiked in her fear of being caught, hubbies found out, illicit, etc, strong emotional spike

      Her: Im enjoying it
      Me: Fabulous, I’m sure its a wild party for you
      Her: Far from a wild party haha

      This is her confirming the sterility of her marriage. And this was my opening to escalate which I did not take skillfully

      So in a nutshell, providing a little emotional rollercoaster in a simple text change was sufficient to open her up for a repeat bang?

      This stuff really muddies the waters of conventional morality doesn’t it? Anyways, I’d like to hear your take on it if you have the time

  70. “This stuff really muddies the waters of conventional morality doesn’t it?”

    It’s actually the other way round, “conventional morality” is muddying the waters of Hypergamy which tries to wipe out the genetic lineage of all but the strongest of men / ensuring species survival.

    Conventional morality and all the “common courtesy” and “do the right thing” stuff is the social construct to get “civilisation” which is basically to try to distribute the women amongst the men so they don’t fight and kill each other.

    Online is an absolute shit show. There’s an incredible difference between what I can get in real life and what has to be done online to even get any attention. I know @Sentient thinks it’s good practice but it really is a waste of a life in my opinion.

    We’re locked down but the beach is open again and so are the off licences so it will be absolutely rammed Friday and Saturday night. If you fancy heading south we’ll walk along it with a rucksack full of beer hitting up groups of girls. Just need to think of something mad to peacock with.. like getting done up in black tie with shorts and flip flops.. give them the excuse to look and laugh at us … aaaaand then we’re in..

    I’ve got a spare air bnb you can have for the price of the laundry change if you want…

    1. @PalmaSailor

      Thats a fucking great offer, thanks. And yes, I am defo up for that. Can I reach you on the email address provided at the back of your book?

      Will reply to the other bits a little later on, thanks for the feedback @sentient and @palmasailor

  71. Asappleeze Palma

    Re Online – Online has the advantage of you being able to burn through a ton of sets with minimal effort and not spoil IRL. Hell you can even use a fake profile. It also has the advantage of providing a 100% accurate transcript of the interaction for diagnostics. View it as a gym, nothing more and you probably will get the most out of it. Make predictions, test concepts > rinse and repeat… That’s about it.

    And what is this ‘ellipsis’ ping text of which you speak?

    You just text the “…”

    You: …

    That’s it. Get that hamster spun up… what does it mean? why would you send it? remember she will frame it all back through her solipsistic lens…

    Another Walla gambit, if she can see your deleted text attempts (like if you are both on IoS… You text and delete and her hamster spins up “what was he deleting?”…

    Wallawalla – jump in on this…

    Great clip. More counterintuitive stuff but I get it lol

    It’s not counterintuitive if you understand that communication is taking place on two channels. One is the surface communication, the other is what is being subcommunicated to her hindbrain. Subcomms can be done on text, waaaay easier IRL of course… However when you are subcommunicating with her you can THEN become a guy who “just gets it”… i.e. you aren’t spelling it out but you both are understanding the meaning… so much of game is in the subcomms… They are verbal AND physical.

    Her: Wrong number
    Me: Meant to go to my mate. Who is this?
    Her: No one, Asappleeze. Good night

    Well sure she is happy to get attention – but note she comes back with a hard shit test and you SMASH that test… and put her in a defensive crouch… Who has more value here now?

    Me: Lol. So you got your phone back from the nutter that texted last time
    Her: ?
    Her: What are you talking about?
    Her: Did someone actually text you from my number?
    Me: Fuck knows. Bored with lockdown yet?

    This is great breaking rapport and switching topics, twice. Leading the conversation, not falling into the logical answer trap. This subcommunicates Alpha and DHV.

    Her: Im enjoying it
    Me: Fabulous, I’m sure its a wild party for you
    Her: Far from a wild party haha

    So the chess not checkers move here would be to DHV…

    Me: Man I am having a great time… [XYZ DHV story]

    and wait for her to catch on, show an IOI. AND then pitch getting together…

    You: Drinks at 7PM, XYZ (whatever… NOT your place… you do NOT go direct subcomm of “come over and fuck” in Catonese…)

    She objects… You do what? What does Mystery say? Treat an IOD with what????

    Chess… get her emotions going, get her to come out… That is the goal. then in person you isolate and escalate…

    This stuff really muddies the waters of conventional morality doesn’t it?

    Morality? Fuckin’ morality???

    Watch this… The game is about GETTING THEM TO SIGN ON THE LINE THAT IS DOTTED.

    YOU HEAR ME!

    Go forth and do likewise…

    So in a nutshell, providing a little emotional rollercoaster in a simple text change was sufficient to open her up for a repeat bang?

    Yup

    We’re locked down but the beach is open again and so are the off licences so it will be absolutely rammed Friday and Saturday night. If you fancy heading south we’ll walk along it with a rucksack full of beer hitting up groups of girls. Just need to think of something mad to peacock with.. like getting done up in black tie with shorts and flip flops.. give them the excuse to look and laugh at us … aaaaand then we’re in..

    damn that is a great opportunity. Mystery would add the top hat…

  72. But “…”, now that’s something else. A proprietary blend of genetically modified superfoods, ECA stack, endurance boosting EPO, bovine growth hormone, concentrated Red Bull (illegal in all countries except China), yak penis, distilled beet sugar, bioavailable uranium with a half life of 36,000 years, and 100% pure Colombian snow that will make her hamster spin so fast the earth’s orbit will slow and time will go backwards. A hamster eight balling on one of these “…”s is on record as spinning up the mental equivalent of a ferris wheel and racing through tubes ten miles long before sputtering out in exhaustion.

    lolz. I do miss Heartiste’s writing so much.

  73. PalmaSailor
    Conventional morality and all the “common courtesy” and “do the right thing” stuff is the social construct to get “civilisation” which is basically to try to distribute the women amongst the men so they don’t fight and kill each other.

    Yep. There’s reality, everything else is just details.

  74. Hey guise, say I want to destroy a prostitution ring, but there’s too many “alphas” that want to make money by selling kids into sexual slavery as a way for poor schmucks to settle their debts.

    How can I use Red Pill knowledge to enact this goal?

    Thanks

  75. @Adapt to Tolerance or die:

    Build an army. Become a warlord. Control your territory. Try to die in combat instead of stabbed in the back or poisoned. You’ll still be dead, but it will look better in the history.

  76. @asa

    Yep that email is fine

    We’ll need the weather, and something like the black tie idea. Perhaps even @IRL could make the pilgrimage if he can get out and bring his sons water pistol and we can shoot any women that give us too much lip..

    Hanging the bait and seeing what snaps is a much better idea / totally transforms the game.

    I’ve posted this here before but This is an infield video I took when I went out with a mate last year.

    https://imgur.com/a/tON6LbH

    Firstly I’m still not successfully and on demand getting with these women in their early 20’s yet (got one) so I have to fess up to that. BUT in this case she opened me. I was wearing a bright red jacket and she went “oi mate nice jacket” aaaaand then I was in play.

    You need to think about it in context, I’m 52 and had her in play. She opened not me. Then I negged her quite heavily and got the hair behind the ear IOI’s. I flunked it when the bouncer threw her out. My prick of a wing didn’t didn’t respect openers choice and deal with the ugly mate either which didn’t help..

    But what would the other option have been ?

    I cold approach a woman 30 years younger which is an unearned IOI and therefore a DLV. That’s a tough gig to pull off no matter what the age gap if you don’t have location DHV. As it stood I asked her a load of questions (compliance hoops) “what’s your name and where do you come from etc..” and it was her doing the qualifying.

    I wasn’t even running MM properly, that was me just being me. I do need more discipline running MM and so being under pressure would do me good.

    Other fundamental problem is I can’t go til 4am anymore so I have to get timing and escalation right because a lot of these girls just want to get bang on it and fuck whose still standing at the end of the night which is a game I can’t play.

  77. They are my glasses by the way – usual line is “put these on you’ll look more intelligent” and I put them on her face.

  78. PalmaSailor

    I remember that bit, and how her demeanor changed with the barman? bouncer? talked to her, oops.

    They are my glasses by the way – usual line is “put these on you’ll look more intelligent” and I put them on her face.

    There’s a certain flavor of black frames that some girls wear over here commonly referred to as “trouble glasses”. I know them when I see them.

    So…”they’ll make you look more intelligent….uh-oh, on you they are just trouble glasses” would be entertaining.

    I’m in a zone that is going to slowly re-open, with 25% of fire code capacity in dining zones, etc. and so forth. Should be entertaining to see how that works. I know a man who runs a small coffee joint / restaurant, maybe I’ll suggest to him he should get some mannikins and seat them at various tables in his place to maintain the proper social distance.

    Which reminds me, Swedish joke:

    Olaf – “Hans, they want us to be 2 meters apart these days”.
    Hans – “What? Why should we be getting closer now?”

  79. This from the online dating arm of our lefty leaning rag.

    Hypocritically the whole guardian media group is funded by a trust fund. Even so, they can’t make it pay.

    Buzzfeed have also laid off all their U.K. “staff”.

    I wonder if it’s the canary in the coal mine for all these shit media outlets that constantly wet the bed about anything and everything.

    https://i.imgur.com/nIco11I.png

    https://i.imgur.com/zGJmEdL.png

  80. file under some good news…

    grabbing some hangover helper at local diner, socially distant of course.

    see a young hottie looking into the window, face close because of the glare… checking to see if they had seating inside. she waves across the street. notice a guy is exiting a car across the street with a kid. Impressed the 3 year old boy is trained to keep one hand on the car while the dad gets younger boy out of a car seat.

    The four of them come in. Guy is early 30’s, looks ex military. MMA/Cross fit kind of build. Wearing an OreGUNian 2A shirt, which says something. Momma is a real smokeshow. Mid 20’s? 5’7″, trim, wearing cut offs and a loose sweatshirt. Milky white skin, strawberry blonde, long and wavy hair. Not a tattoo in site. No make up. Big eyes. a lot like this…

    https://i.pinimg.com/originals/9b/27/86/9b27862771324102ac5882a75ff96869.jpg

    Very West Coast vibe. They order and go sit nearby. No eye game at all.. But she is smiley and easy. funny incident where they call out “John” for the order like 2 minutes after they placed it and dad goes and gets it and it turns out it’s another John… and because Corona the kitchen has to redo everything. But she is totally chill with this. dad too. Just shrug and laugh.

    So they sit back and wait. Kids a little fussy. But again, no stress. Mom and dad relaxed and easy. they attend to the kids, don’t let them act up, but they aren’t overbearing or worried or stressed out like I see so many young parents. She didn’t lecture or hecter him or the kids. They eat. and when the kids start acting up again dad takes them outside. She is finishing up. I ask her how old the kids are and she laughs and says yeah they can be difficult, they are 1.5 and 3. I tell her no worries they are good and you look like your doing a good job. she smiles bigly and I say i have five kids so i know the drill. she can’t believe this and we engage on that abit, she asks the ages and is surprised. Very cool and chill girl, so pleasant. so nice.

    Not a hint of any “come get” vibe. which is also very rare these days. Just a nice girl. Nice couple looks like. she cleans up her place and says goodbye nice meeting you as she waltzes past.

    was very nice to see. Made me nostalgic. But hopeful as well for the future. It’s not all doom and gloom, – economy, virus!, politics… hypergamy… womynz…. etc.

    And then this notice dropped…

    https://bringatrailer.com/listing/1958-porsche-356a-speedster-10/

    4.5 hours to the hammer. Do watch the driving video… many smiles…

    Beauty is in the world.

    1. @sentient , and any other posters with ideas on the matter

      So I just tried the ellipsis ping with the aussie, the hungarian and the nordic.

      The nordic instantly replied with a ?
      The aussie replied with a ? after an hour or so
      The hungarian replied with red lips emoticon and a ‘how is life treating you’

      What is interesting is that the nordic and hungarian i closed with, but not the aussie. So due to DHV i think that is reflected in the speed or type of response?

      Any suggestions. I am thinking make them all wait then take it from there

    2. Fellas, on second thoughts, don’t worry about feedback on the … ping replies. I’m just going to have a go and see what happens, because the worst that can happen does not matter i.e no further contact with them. I will post the results for diagnostics

  81. ASAP

    Glad to see the … Still works.

    Just remember to spike and lead the convo somewhere. And by leading it doesn’t mean demanding or all at once right away within a few texts.

    Game. Play it chess not checkers.

    Good luck.

  82. wish I had more time to deconstruct this, but a critical reader will notice some flaws right away without any help from me:

    https://gizmodo.com/this-philosopher-is-challenging-all-of-evolutionary-psy-1842248835

    she presents her adversary’s viewpoints in such a way as to make easy to knock them down…. strawman I believe; she mentions the concept of ‘variation’ while unironically reducing the incomplete, fragmented and unresolved field of evopsych to one monolithic voice

    she also rightfully points out that direct evidence of our ancestor’s behaviors is slim and evopsych doesn’t have enough to stand on; fercrissakes, science by definition is all about inferences and running with incomplete info just to see what happens; if that standard being applied here gets enforced everywhere, then bye-bye science and advancement lol

    “…the attractiveness of evolutionary theory coupled with peoples’ ideological biases forces them to not be as careful as they might be otherwise…” is true, but that pitfall is true of anyone’s beliefs on any subject and I wonder if she’s considered its implications on her own line of thought

    she cites how it might be misused as a valid reason to stop this avenue in the pursuit knowledge; admittedly, I’m ambivalent about this one, human nature being what it is 😉

    I personally don’t think we understand nearly as much as we think or hope…. which means no one theory has gotten it all right; but let’s not be scared of where the truth takes us

    miss you guys

  83. ” . . . she also rightfully points out that direct evidence of our ancestor’s behaviors is slim . . .”

    Although by no means not nonexistent and evidence our cousin’s behavior is plentiful.

Speak your mind

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