For the past three years of The Rational Male there’s been a consistent presence in the comment threads of guys seeking advice for particular situations with regards to Game. Whether it’s fine tuning certain aspects of Game or a larger consensus of the guys participating in my comment threads it’s become obvious there’s a need for a dedicated page and comment thread to address these Field Reports.
So I’m instituting this page for exactly this. If there is some urgency to have members of The Rational Male community analyze your particular situation feel free to hit anyone up in the comments of my current post, but please refer them to your particular field report with a link to your comment here. I’m hoping this will alleviate the mass of posts for field report analysis and Game specific insights piled into the main blog post for any given week.
There will be some rules for this “forum” as such. I ask that you only keep your comments to addressing the field reports at hand and save your larger theoretical stuff for the main posts, or if relevant, keep the “bigger scope of things” posts to being as succinct as possible. There will be no moderation in this comment thread (spamming excepted), so realize it will be a very hot kitchen before you post. I will impose no restrictions on video links here, nor will I limit links to various, but pertinent articles.
Understand, this is an experiment for now. It’s likely this comment thread will exceed thousands of comments. I’ll be instituting new comment plug-ins for wordpress to deal with this in the future, but I may archive this page the the posts and refresh this page in the future as well. If this gets cumbersome I may simply institute a dedicated forum-style sub-site of The Rational Male to accommodate for Game specific questions.
So have at it, post your field reports and feel free to comment on the ones you have some particular insight for. Be forewarned that it’s likely things may get a bit salty at times and I expect a lot of back & forth with debate and disagreements, but that’s what this thread is for – to hash out Game particulars for your given situations.
@Asa @SJF This is not the time for comfort. This is attraction for an unsubjugated alpha vs. disappointment for beta thirst situation. @Asa @Palma “So I told her I wanted her to wear a figure hugging short red dress and no panties.” I reckon you might have fallen into the hole there – hindbrain receives “here’s a guy that isn’t used to getting with women in a figure hugging dress and no panties” Not necessarily. Yes, it was a beta bait, but @Asa commanding what he wants her to wear for him wasn’t a bad thing per se. What made… Read more »
@IRL @PalmaSailor @SJF Thanks for such detailed replies, lots of food for thought, appreciated. I will respond in detail with text exchanges later on today.
@PalmaSailor @SJF @IRL So the text exchange, picking up from the ‘day after the night before,’ is as follows: If I don’t provide a time and day with the text its cos it quickly followed the preceding ones. When there is a time gap between texts I will note the new time and day: Her – Monday 22:03 – Layla misses u (note – Layla is her dog btw) Me – When did she tell you that? Her – She says you should come back soon Her – Her words not mine Me – Did she now?? Her – Yesss… Read more »
Asalondon Props man. I don’t have time for detailed copy pasta now. Couple of quick points You have good instincts and a lot to work with. Inner game is going to be your sticking point for a bit. So you are a former pro fruitboiler? Is that so? How is it you haven’t had a ton of hot chicks and those chasing? I disagree with some of Palmas comments. I think when she sent the dress pic it was compliance and also beta bait/shit test. Which you smashed with your comment. Her saying “you and your compliments” was backhanded. She… Read more »
Palma
yesterday I watched All the Dirty Harry movies and of course you need to drink beer while doing that.. everything is a bit off base at the moment.
Off base? Sounds perfect to me.
Thanks for the replies fellas. Quick reply to Sentient regarding the pro footballer bit. I did not explain clearly I don’t think – I was signed to a pro club as a boy / young man from the age of 10 to 16. I did not make the grade. Was trying to provide a bit of background in terms of how things were for me as a lad before the conditioning and a string of shitty relationships sunk me deep into the mire lol. Will reply further later. Cheers
Asa. Schoolboy. Got it. That explains the gap.
Morpheus “I’m just really curious what the dynamic here is…as I see it She actually did feel bad about acting like a bitch based on the info ex GF was giving her and honestly wanted to apologize She wants to test if I am willing to sign up for orbiter duty She is testing/fishing to see if I had any interest” How about “all of the above”? Do you start to see why Alpha Fucks/Beta Bucks is a a win-win strategy for them? And how NONE of tgis has anything to do with YOUR MPoO and YOUR strategy? So what… Read more »
Morpheus
I thought the gracious thing was to apologize as well,
Grace? She deserves Grace does she?
Hit it HABD!!!
How about “Fuck you and your bullshit”?
Re kiss and tell blunder… Well there were other blunders but this doesn’t help. The way you bang ALL the girls in your social circle is you kiss and THEY tell…
Secret Society 101.
Keep going man. You got this.
Morpheus
I pretty much now swipe right on EVERYONE except the most hideous of the hideous.
This is a well known strategy. There are swiper apps that can do 10k swipes just press the button. Then cull the by catch.
Note MM is not JUST for bars. The structure and technique are for everywhere. Even online.
Morpheus
“I’m just like everybody else man
An average nigga with above average potential
You know what I mean? I’m not sayin’ that I’m a gentleman
I’m saying that I know how to act like a gentleman
In order to get the things that I need
And if I gotta pull out my nigga bag, I’m gonna do that”
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7GBx4HJKU7s
AKA – “Fuck you bitch. I play hockey and have a huge dick”
Grace does not abound for she that tempts the wrath of an angry god…
Unless… What? Something is telling you you must?
Inner game.
@Asa
Pretty solid. You’re just second guessing yourself. Because… Magic Poosy. No special snowflakes though. You’ll find plenty so don’t stress it.
@Sentient
Set up a meet with her and then blank her. No show. Delete her number. Don’t answer any texts or calls. Straight ghost.
And move on to another girl.
The reference experience tou will get from tossing a “sooper hawt” girl aside and then GETTING another is going to be pure gold.
I like that! +1
PSA: Never apologize in a text. No matter what. It can be used to incriminate you.
@Morpheus
You made her look like a slut putting out for a sheep in wolf’s clothing = a lesser man. Shame on you, Mr Grace.
So now she’s trying to fix it. Paint a sister black, make you feel guilty, soften the blow, turn you into a useful orbiter, make you alpha up, whiteknight for her etc. Any of these would be an improvement to her feeling shitty because of how she may be perceived by her social circle.
@Sentient
How about “Fuck you and your bullshit”?
Hahaha my new favourite.
Tbh that would be eye opening.
IRL Lol. Seems over and over the hearder your frame the better the results. Now there May be discontinuity between when you act and how they respond. But they always seem to come back around because you have a solid rod of steel up your ass (loz) to the top of your head that simply will NOT bend. Went through his with the wife recently after a Covid/menopause/Full Moon melt up… Took a solid week of frost nefore she came around. Meantime neighbor woman must have sensed a disturbance in the force and actually came over and sat on my… Read more »
@Sentient Good comment about having indomitable Frame. I don’t disagree on principle. I see subtle differences, though in the difference between keeping an Alpha Frame all the time. Because most men are not always so skilled all the time. (Not You.) And that can turn from subtle dread to ham-handed overly overt non-subtle dread. And that is a thing that is certainly a factor that can be a problem. Pouring on too much Dread because of not having solid frame. It’s a problem when it becomes a problem. I’ve witnessed it in others. I didn’t have too much problem with… Read more »
Palma
Masterclass. 🎩
Update fellas. Don’t think I am feeling ballsy enough to do the Sentient recommended ghost, so looking for advice on the response to the following texts in terms of going around hers and not coming off beta beforehand: Me – 17:20 today – Hello troublemaker. I can come over tomorrow or Wednesday at 7pm if you’ve been good. Lemme know Her – 22:26 today – Hey you x Wednesday is perfect Her – Haha troublemaker! Her – How are u I’ve not responded yet. She made me wait five hours for a reply so figure that replying quickly will come… Read more »
@palmasailor Cheers mate, done
Thanks for the info Palma. It is counterintuitive. Being completely honest, it also requires me to be with but not act upon the neediness for validation I feel
Asalondon
When does a cat chase a string?
Here get reading.
https://www.google.com/url?q=https://conquistaperfeita.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/The-Mystery-Method-How-to-Get-Beautiful-Women-Into-Bed.pdf&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwiehJzA0vXoAhWCct8KHa3vDWcQFjAAegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw1TbrOJYVg-Gzl6cYkfOjM1
Palma is right
Limit the interaction here. Easiest now
“See you then” and then nothing…
Later you can add a little more.
BUT we will be revisiting the validation and abundance and inner game stuff… It isn’t going away.
CS
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zywIR_ZFLts
Girls aren’t getting much attention. Quickies are fine with a lot. Be sure and stay buttoned up. With a mask doing doggie out in the park. Remember to watch out for cops. lol
@Asa Some texting guidelines (no hard rules in sex&love though): Texting is only to have her in front of you face to face. Less is more. There is no room for fluff, explanations, long back and forths, overcommunication. You want to see her in person and not become her text buddy. Girls text, men do. Silence is good. Learn to live with it. If the need for validation is strong in you, just imagine what it does to her mind (and pussy). Let the pressure build up. Avoid asking questions. Take it a step further and use only statements that… Read more »
Bulletpoints fail, reposting with line breaks… Some texting guidelines (no hard rules in sex&love though): Texting is only to have her in front of you face to face. Less is more. There is no room for fluff, explanations, long back and forths, overcommunication. You want to see her in person and not become her text buddy. Girls text, men do. Silence is good. Learn to live with it. If the need for validation is strong in you, just imagine what it does to her mind (and pussy). Let the pressure build up. Avoid asking questions. Take it a step further… Read more »
“if a girls says she isn’t scared, but can’t light her cigarette, it means she is scared, of something.”
1960 – worth a watch
DPA HoF inductee… Bobby Flay
great “spot the alpha” shot
If you ever want to see a shorter guy, ginger, not classically handsome, no bod – with command presence in action… in a genial, funny way – but not quippy or sharp, give some of his shows a shot.
Beat Bobby Flay is pretty good. His interactions with his friends who are “trying” to have him beat. I bet he’s banged most of them.
https://people.com/food/bobby-flay-girlfriend-helene-york-food-network-show/
Teeth… lol
Fellas, update on the texts. Bit of a curveball (might be a softball underarm to you fella tho lol). Texts as follows: Me – Yesterday 23:34 – See you Wednesday Her – Today 12:14 – Aight xx (Note – given she tried for a conversation, this looked like some compliance – thoughts?) Her – Today 17:40 – Asaaaaaa Her – I just came on!! Her – How do you feel about periods Her – Haha Now there seems to be all sorts going on here, so I will tell you what I think in order that you can criticise, but… Read more »
ASA This girl is DTF and is showing great compliance by warning you so she doesn’t disappoint you. No need to over game her. BUT it is the time to set the frame of the relationship – your frame – and establish hand… so Me – Yesterday 23:34 – See you Wednesday Her – Today 12:14 – Aight xx (Note – given she tried for a conversation, this looked like some compliance – thoughts?) Her – Today 17:40 – Asaaaaaa Her – I just came on!! Her – How do you feel about periods Her – Haha You: Poor girl,… Read more »
@sentient done. she has come back with a ‘confused’ emoticon
@PalmaSailor Phone is off, just got back from the shops with some drinks and grub, chilling out. Thanks for the feedback, this is a major turning around of mindset that it called for
It feels pretty fucking good to have done that actually
Asalondon
It feels pretty fucking good to have done that actually
There you go…
Now if she still huffs and puffs… You can go amused mastery… take the piss out of her.
Her:Period blah blah
You: Eh. I like periods as much as Shakespeare.
[wait]
You: at the end of sentences. See you next week.
Fellas, couldnt resist a peak at the phone. Here it is: All her, one after the other; When its better? Its not a fucking illness Wow kinda rude the way you have responded to this Quite surprised Asa I have zero interest in meeting a man who wont come over because Im on my period. There are other things we could have done and i didnt think sex was all we bonded on So if thats who you are, and u think its ok to write me poor girl, going to miss out, and no, not coming, message when its… Read more »
@PalmaSailor No not WhatsApp, nor do we have the same device so no ‘message read function.’ phone is staying off for the night now
PalmaSailor
She will throw her entire Rolodex of shit at you
This is why you should leave your phone off. No peeking at texts. Because reading all of her texts in one sitting will really make clear what Palma is saying. You might even see her emotional roller coaster running, if the switches from fury to tears to fury.
Kick back. Relax. You’ll have a front row seat to a show like this:
?w=600
ASALondon “By about mid day tomorrow she will have thrown everything she’s got at you and will be out of ammunition. Do not under any circumstances try to rationalise anything she says / address anything she says / apologise for anything you’ve done. The way out of this is ignore / reduce to absurdity/ agree and amplify / amused mastery and back to the mattress.” This… Best case she apologizes. Worst case, next week you hit her up like this never happened and game her from scratch again. Spike emotion, set a meet… There will be no one she meets… Read more »
@Asa How’s that Blue Pill conditioning treating you? lol Cold shoulder? Whims? Sulks? Blame games? Guilt trips? Tears? Tantrums? Threats? Throwing at you everything she has to elicit a reaction. But it’s all just silly moves from a parallel world that can’t affect you: Note she’s still the same girl whose company you enjoyed a couple days ago. All good, part of the process. Important to go through this and have fun with the female nature if you want to plate a few girls. Right now, give. It. Some. Time. As @Sentient stated a few comments back: Seems over and… Read more »
@Morpheus, Am reading the text exchange you posted here: https://imgur.com/a/0ufZQqX I’ll offer you some observations. It’s blah…it’s a kind of question and answer, very logical sort of conversation…so there’s nothing of any spark in it. There’s a reason why the “neg” is so powerful. It completely disrupts a girl’s thinking. You bring up your marriage. NEVER bring up past relationships with women. Be more mysterious. If I get asked questions like “What are you looking for?” I respond; “A taxi…never one when you need one.” That moves the chat to my frame. Be vague. Make yourself more of a challenge… Read more »
“I’ll offer you some observations.”
Wala, thks for the feedback.
fellas, thanks for all the responses. Its clear that despite having learned a little, and being able to use that to attract and lay a hot girl, I’d have made all the same old mistakes had I not come on here and asked the questions (and listened to the responses to be fair to me). Its both fun and a bit of a head fuck to be honest. Notwithstanding the capacity to unconsciously be the asshole on occasion and create initial attraction, I used nothing but the blue pill way in relating to women and it nearly had me six… Read more »
Asalondon Keep going. It’s. A process but can be fun along the way. Look at the current situation. You banged a hot woman. Good for you. So what if it ends up being once (I d9ubt it). Right? You will need to understand though you are in a difficult place. You might come across to these epiphany stage girls as that perfect almost Alpha guy who can be tamed. It’s a devastating combo. They get the raw bang up front (don’t make you wait to date 3 or 5 like a beta) and then start to turn the screws just… Read more »
IRL You’re getting rusty man. It took me half that time… after kicking my wife out of the car (for escalating a conflict)… twice in one day… all in front of her father and son a month or two ago Lol. LTRs are fun!!!! Similar quasi public meltdown, but friends not family. Worst part was the dudes all muttering I should just appease her… But yeh I’ve given her too much slack with some of the tiredness and such of menopause and have four local women playing along. No bangs. But lots of availability and some messing around so it’s… Read more »
IRL
The funniest thing during the meltdown, while the guys allbpissed themselves at my resolve the other wives were amped waaaay up. One even teased my wife in situ.
@Sentient
What is it with guys who feel a need to always default to nice guy mode.
This is a HUUUUUUUGE problem with guys trying to swallow the Red Pill and surrounded by this toxicity among other guys.
It’s the whole “Lay off her man….just let it go man…” crap.
What is it with guys who feel a need to always default to nice guy mode. Some of it is White Knighting. They know the woman is out of line, but, well, you know, we have to play nice with the girls. Some of it is ingrained training from childhood through college that they simply don’t know is in their head. Really, they do not know any alternative to placation. Feminization, where men take the women’s role of “tend and befriend” is part of this IMO. I think some men deep down inside, at the irrational response level, are still… Read more »
PalmaSailor, if you are still stuck streaming you could try 60’s and 70’s flicks like: FIstfull of dollars Few dollars more Good, Bad and the Ugly Once upon a time in the West Add * The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance and you’re ready to really appreciate Back to the Future III Or you could try some more Squint Eastwood examples Play Misty For Me The Beguiled Outlaw Jose Wales Every Which Way But Loose Early Eastwood flick with great Swiss scenery and the red pill * The EIger Sanction Two crime flicks by the same director some years apart:… Read more »
@Asalondon – Welcome to TRM. Suggest you change your username to something that doesn’t reveal your location – these aren’t the posts you want your boss or HR seeing. You’ve been getting great advice on the specifics of your situation so I won’t repeat what the others have said – will just add that if you want to learn text game in general (actually all kinds of game), I highly recommend you reading the YaReally Archive (main site is down but still available here on the Internet Archive – check out the Texting section to start with): http://web.archive.org/web/20170112165125/http://www.yareallyarchive.com/ YaReally was… Read more »
Oh and Palma, I just saw your post about me replying to the Friend’s email out of courtesy. I did that for me, because that’s who I am – I try to treat everyone with courtesy and a pet peeve of mine is people who don’t reply to emails and I don’t do that to men or women. It has nothing to do with her or trying to bang her (which I’m not trying to do anyway). Besides, even if I was trying to bang her, the right play would have been to play along and enter into a secret… Read more »
@CS cheers for the advice and link, will read through it, and name changed
@CS thanks for the advice and link, done
@Palma Look at this one (from reddit). Hamster ramping it up and left to its own devices throwing a spanner in the works. The guy’s mistake? He didn’t throw her out early enough (in his life). My(23F) boyfriend(25F) left me on the side of the road and I deserved it. My amazing, beautiful boyfriend had decided to treat me to dinner since we’d both had long weeks. He was making me laugh and we were talking and having a really good time. After we were done we left, and we were about half way home when I asked him if… Read more »
@PalmaSailor great post cheers for sharing. One of the most difficult aspects of the last two years relates to the all-pervasive nature of the FI you mention. To realize the extent to which all areas of my life had, to a greater or lesser degree, been influenced by my conditioned (what I perceived to be innate) desire to please women. Horrible realization, and led to me losing interest in all kinds of thing, my business included. It all felt like a fucking fraud all of a sudden. I think I’m starting to come around to living purposefully for its own… Read more »
Phone is back on and there are no further texts after last nights deluge. Thoughts? I feel surprisingly detached from the outcome, so I intend to just leave it for a while
Asappleeze
It all felt like a fucking fraud all of a sudden. I think I’m starting to come around to living purposefully for its own sake.
We have found the hero this board needs!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oG-nnDlnWrA
Asappleeze
Thoughts
Just leave it till the red tide recedes and game her like it never happened. Imagine your bratty little sister had a tantrum, you’d ignore it a week later right?
@asappleeze
?ssl=1
I don’t entirely disagree with the tactics. Unless they blow up in your face. Good luck with that ASA. My take is that there is LARPing going on. Amping Dread to the Max. Not actually always necessary. If you have decent natural charm. Unless you want to move through and on chicks. Rather than pause and enjoy a chick. Rather than have her spin as a plate and then fall. And you lose out on a good chick. I’ve seen this happen. Souper over the top dread vs. soft natural dread. It’s a very observable phenomenon. Good Luck. Women are… Read more »
“Poor girl, going to miss out. Hit me up when things are better.” = Amping Dread to the Max?
Thirst + blue pill conditioning + LTR comfort = fire triangle 🔥
Pillow Fight homework first.
A propos tactics:
https://www.sosuave.com/articles/jj/mysteries.htm
“Thirst + blue pill conditioning + LTR comfort = fire triangle”
You don’t have to have thirst, blue pill conditioning and anywhere near LTR comfort to enjoy the fuck out of LTR. You can disabuse yourself of that.
You can also fuck an attractive, rich Swede along the way.
You don’t have to be so militant. Unless you are angry about past transgressions by your flaming women.
It goes to how she percieves you, whether you have to go all militant.
Exactly the problem people have with stocks. The guy refused to cut the loss too soon and as a result just sustained more loss. He should have locked her out far earlier. If he’s done that she’d still be in his frame. Exactly like my divorce, the guard dog was allowed to spin up too far. By the time it gets there you end up putting a permanent bullet in it rather than calling a boundary and continues going to take what you want from it on your terms. Interesting. The problem men have with stocks. I’ve actually never had… Read more »
SJF
So declining an invite to go over when she says “head’s up I have my period” is being militant?
😂😂😂😂😂😂
LARP they name is SJF perhaps…
@SJF
You don’t have to be so militant.
I was just looking for another way of saying gracious and courtesy in this thread. Thanks!
Still not sure how to square it with deep throat and anal in one sentence though… hmmm
So declining an invite to go over when she says “head’s up I have my period” is being militant? 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Yes. Her responses spoke for her. It wasn’t declining to go over. It wasn’t not wanting to do it during. It was turning the super dread wheel on notch further. To 11. When, why? To turn up to 11 for the win? What if it isn’t a win? By no means guaranteed. I said good play. If it turns good. Good luck with that. Turn up the Dread. When not Necessary. Fuck the middle verb for Mystery Method with new… Read more »
The proof is in the pudding. If your recommendations for ASA’s fingers work magic for his end goals.
Go for it. And report the results. Short or long term. Be good.
Not hardly. Even.
But not giving an inch.
If it works fine do it.
Go and prove it.
Asa Look, I’m not sure where SJF’s head is today but I am going to make a more rational analysis You are 37 and cresting the SMF curve, she is 32 and falling down the curve So let’s see Non-native, hmm how and why did she land in the UK? 32, post wall/epiphany phase region – even if she is smokin hot How is she affording to stay in the most-posh London neighborhood? – not many artists make bank? – family money? – beta bucks funds funding the condo? My gut is she could be struggling with the hindbrain knowledge… Read more »
Chicks fuck.
This never changes.
Given reason and opportunity, they will fuck you ( or vice versa).
Taaa daaaa!!!!!!
SJF Asappleeze Her responses spoke for her. It wasn’t declining to go over. It wasn’t not wanting to do it during. SJF – see you’re not even identifying the issue. Your quotes above are all about her frame and her wants. Not Asa’s… What would you have responded with? “OK love, I’ll pick up some chamomile tea and we can do your toe nails and watch a rom com.” and maybe if she wasn’t too crampy he might get a HJ or a blowie? from a girl he’s banged out already? What about what he wants? See? This was triggering… Read more »
Wala
What is it with guys who feel a need to always default to nice guy mode.
enter The SJF…
SJF what was your recommendation to ASA and why?
Sentient’s point is very important – it’s easy to focus on the sex but it’s not about that. Similar to how my current family issue isn’t really about whether we stay or leave – this place isn’t a hellhole and my family and I will be fine in either city – it’s about who is in charge and who has priority. As a data point, I will add that my two best FBs who genuinely saw me as alpha (both of them knew I was married btw and didn’t care) would literally tell me “I’m on my period, don’t come… Read more »
@asappleeze One thing I wanted to add – this age demographic is difficult for the reasons others have mentioned. I am a similar age to you (a couple of years older) and have come across this issue often. In my case, some of the women I meet an dsleep with know I’m married and others don’t (depends how I met them etc). What you need to do is actively disqualify yourself as “relationship potential” – it’s alpha fux or nothing. You will definitely lose some girls this way – the ones who are too focussed on the last chance saloon… Read more »
“What you need to do is actively disqualify yourself as “relationship potential” – it’s alpha fux or nothing.”
Would LOVE to hear expanded thoughts here especially really specific granular DOs and DONT’S. I suspect in some of my interactions I’m starting in default AF mode but quickly moving myself into the “relationship potential” box.
Palma Yeah – difficult to switch that unless you’ve delivered enough dominant badnasty cock that the hamster has pegged you as AF. Yes but the switching time is subject to that discontinuity I mentioned up thread. He really didn’t have many choices. He could appease and go over – he gets sorted beta. Challenge her and she capitulated in the moment, we that didn’t work based on what you say – he wasn’t far enough on the alpha side of things in her mind. And this… Which is a draw, but not really. This is the discontinuity but he left… Read more »
Palma, that is an enlightening comment. Earnest question here
“The girl had hunted him down in the first place when she was ovulating. It wasn’t a seduction, It was in her frame from the outset – she chased him down and he went to her place.”
Why does this distinction even matter. If he fucked her, he fucked her… I mean the outcome is the goal, not the process? The process is just one way to the outcome.
Fellas. So some feedback following your latest round of comments. I’ve dropped the ball for sure, so I will give you the warts and all account. So I was feeling top of the fucking world the day after bailing on her. High energy, motivated. That kind of thing. It was similar to the feeling I got when I stopped giving my power away to my ex in respect of family court and financial matters, which was a painful long term process I had to be coached through by a friend who had been through the same thing. Obviously that system… Read more »
@palmasailor “None of that interaction was about dread or her period or comfort. The girl had hunted him down in the first place when she was ovulating. It wasn’t a seduction, It was in her frame from the outset”
This is true. And it is merely a repeat of my past patterns truth be told
Is learning cold approach the tonic to this presumably?
Someone asked how it went from social circle to bedroom, so notwithstanding the shit show that has followed, here is a brief account. We mix in social circles that have an overlap of one guy. The first time I came across her both groups were in a coffee shop, my friends that I was with gave very friendly greetings to their group, I did not know them so was fairly perfunctory. not to be deliberately rude or whatever, but i was out with my friends and so not particularly interested in other groups at that stage. so we sat on… Read more »
@asappleaze: don’t worry about it. Seriously. You know you messed up. That burning, awful feeling you have now is the emotional push that will make you push past your limitations and get better. This particular girl is probably unrecoverable now (I mean, if you supplicate enough she may – may – deign to sleep with you on her terms, but it’s very unlikely she will view you as alpha again) but that’s a good lesson too. There are plenty of other girls there – you are just hitting your peak. I’ll leave the detailed breakdown to the others but it… Read more »
@Morpheus Basically what I said in my last post. YaReally has more details on it if you dig through his archive (the link is in my post to asappleaze just above). But the basic idea is simple enough: -First decide what YOU actually want from women in general and the specific woman you are dealing with (this is harder than it looks). -If what you want is a relationship and a girlfriend, that’s absolutely fine as long as YOU want it and you don’t drift into it with a girl you happen to be sleeping with. In which case the… Read more »
@palmasailor
fraid so, duly noted for future reference
@palmasailor
“…If the goal is repeated desire sex then THAT process didn’t deliver it for him bc it wasn’t HIS process, it was hers. And THAT process didn’t Instill any desire in her, so her hindbrain badged it for what it was and kicked it out after toying with it a bit.
He might of got laid, but he didn’t fuck her, she fucked him.”
Ouch lol
@asappleaze – note that the girl saying “let’s go to the bedroom” (or similar) isn’t a problem in itself. It was not a good thing in YOUR case because she was taking the initiative and leading and basically the whole process was happening on her terms – she chose you and decided to bang you and made it happen. ANd leading and initiative (and making the choice) is YOUR job, not hers (if you are AF). The same words would be absolutely fine if she had been chasing you (NOTE: not choosing you – chasing you – the difference is… Read more »
lessons and conclusions? i will brainstorm a bit then, both in terms of the interaction and how I relate to it all: 1) When we met there and was initial attraction from her, I could have sexualized (i didn’t). Notwithstanding that we were in a big group sat together, maybe whispered something in her ear?? To try to set frame. 2) Not sure if given the context that trying to isolate her on the first night would have worked, too many peeps in her group? Thoughts? Failing that though, and having had a dig through the YaReally material and the… Read more »
Asa
Shaking my head… Oh well. Live and learn. [word of caution – SJF is a married guy who reads books and hasn’t had another woman since he was wed.]
this.. And also that horrible sinking feeling where you know you have mugged yourself off.
Consider the possibility you like this feeling at some level…
Morpheus
See this from Asa?
it is merely a repeat of my past patterns truth be told
You said “I mean the outcome is the goal, not the process?”
The OUTCOME is the PROCESS… How do you make a peanut butter sandwich?
Question for you all. Based upon what I have disclosed, what do you think her motivations were in all this?
@Sentient brutal
Sentient “I’m still curious what SJFs play was.” I stated my case clearly, before and during the text about her setting ASA up with the period proposal/question. Like PalmaSailor’s analogy about fiddling with the cockpit controls. That was apt. To find out her buttons. Tactics are fine until they blow up in your face. You suggested he go all nuclear dread before that text exchange. To have hand and use it for future reference. I would have preferred one in the hand rather than two in the bush. (And to be clear, I fully acknowledge that brings in elements of… Read more »
“Question for you all. Based upon what I have disclosed, what do you think her motivations were in all this?”
Simple.
To feel better.
@asappleeze you are getting great advice… kind of late to the party but… Fellas, couldnt resist a peak at the phone. Here it is: All her, one after the other; When its better? Its not a fucking illness Wow kinda rude the way you have responded to this Quite surprised Asa I have zero interest in meeting a man who wont come over because Im on my period. There are other things we could have done and i didnt think sex was all we bonded on So if thats who you are, and u think its ok to write me… Read more »
@Sentient Asappleeze
Asappleeze
Thoughts
Just leave it till the red tide recedes and game her like it never happened. Imagine your bratty little sister had a tantrum, you’d ignore it a week later right?
this…
and be ready for the
‘didn’t you see my texts? what do you have to say for yourself!’
sh*t test…lol
good luck!
@Palmasailor asappleeze
So there’s something about the period between the first and second lay that’s absolutely critical and looking back I’ve dropped it loads of times.
there is a qualitative difference between an evo-bio-psych hindbrain-approved AF (a couple of minutes behind that bush over there…) and a “hey! let’s do that again!”… = BB potential…
which has to be tested… and the farther into her epiphany phase she is, the harder that sh*t test is going to express itself…lol
good luck!
@asappleeze awwww, geeeze…lol just got to your next comment…lol… and up til this point you were doing great too…lol i’ll just say it now and get it over with… how’s that FI treatin’, ya?…lol Fellas. So some feedback following your latest round of comments. I’ve dropped the ball for sure, so I will give you the warts and all account. So I was feeling top of the fucking world the day after bailing on her. High energy, motivated. That kind of thing. that happens when you are an AF stud…lol It was similar to the feeling I got when I… Read more »
Morpheus Would LOVE to hear expanded thoughts here especially really specific granular DOs and DONT’S. I suspect in some of my interactions I’m starting in default AF mode but quickly moving myself into the “relationship potential” box. Look let’s not make this rocket surgery. You are a big guy and somewhat handsome so chicks are going to think you walk the talk. The problem from here is twofold: First yiur subcomms suck. You go into these detailed texts with seeking rapport with them and look to fit into their schedules. You need to be way more aloof, like you had… Read more »
Morpheus
You are disqualifying yourself as boyfriend material/beta bucks.
And yes you will lose beta bucks hunters along the way. Unless. Unless you can go full alpha Fucks in thought word and deed.
@asappleeze Someone asked how it went from social circle to bedroom, so notwithstanding the shit show that has followed, here is a brief account. We mix in social circles that have an overlap of one guy. The first time I came across her both groups were in a coffee shop, my friends that I was with gave very friendly greetings to their group, I did not know them so was fairly perfunctory. didn’t chase’ = potential AF… not to be deliberately rude or whatever, but i was out with my friends and so not particularly interested in other groups at… Read more »
@asappleeze
Question for you all. Based upon what I have disclosed, what do you think her motivations were in all this?
get some AF d*ck…duh!…lol
and right up until you made that phone call, you were shaping up to be IT…lol
good luck!
@having a bad day great feedback, cheers. Fuck me I am pissed at myself on the one hand. the other side of me – which sentient fucking nailed with the al pacino clip – is desperate to luxuriate in a nice long bath of self pity. There is also a part of me that is pumped, I can do this. Your bit about sex is valuable information in terms of it being on my terms but starting out gentle or whatever being ok. vital in fact. cheers. note to self also straight to bedroom next time. fuck this lockdown as… Read more »
asappleeze
overall, (except for not ‘just getting it’ and taking her right to the bedroom when you got back) this was solid AF frame… until you completely screwed the pooch by apologizing, you were set to have her spin up into a solid plate…
For emphasis. This is your epiphany girl.
You can do this. and all her friends lolzlolzolz
@asappleeze
on second thought, you MIGHT be able to turn this around… you didn’t explain yourself on the apology call, so that might not hurt you as much as if you begged for her forgiveness…lol
you are not in an optimum position, but it might be doable…
what you have to do to turn it around WILL seem rude as f*k though…lol…
good luck!
Asappleeze which sentient fucking nailed Get this. we are not wizards. and YOU are not a special snowflake. there is a reason things work and don’t work. Get with the system (evo/bio-psych is real and drives behaviors and understand Alpha/Beta modalities) and the process (capital “G” game… read that MM like your life depended on it. Understand IOI/IOD/Compliance loops, attraction-comfort-seduction stages) and Do The Work ™ , i.e. take action and keep taking action and moving forward. Most of the guys here have been through what you are going through, having all the pretty lies perish… the BP lies. Facing… Read more »
Palma
Great examples
I wonder if others are missing some basics here?
Yeah that’s generally the case. Guys want to start at chapter 5. Not the foreword, not the preface.
@Palmasailor
@Sentient
I wonder if others are missing some basics here?
With shit tests ( Vulnerability tests) it’s simple:
gotta spot them in real time first…lol
good luck!