Field Reports

lion-chasing-gazelle

For the past three years of The Rational Male there’s been a consistent presence in the comment threads of guys seeking advice for particular situations with regards to Game. Whether it’s fine tuning certain aspects of Game or a larger consensus of the guys participating in my comment threads it’s become obvious there’s a need for a dedicated page and comment thread to address these Field Reports.

So I’m instituting this page for exactly this. If there is some urgency to have members of The Rational Male community analyze your particular situation feel free to hit anyone up in the comments of my current post, but please refer them to your particular field report with a link to your comment here. I’m hoping this will alleviate the mass of posts for field report analysis and Game specific insights piled into the main blog post for any given week.

There will be some rules for this “forum” as such. I ask that you only keep your comments to addressing the field reports at hand and save your larger theoretical stuff for the main posts, or if relevant, keep the “bigger scope of things” posts to being as succinct as possible. There will be no moderation in this comment thread (spamming excepted), so realize it will be a very hot kitchen before you post. I will impose no restrictions on video links here, nor will I limit links to various, but pertinent articles.

Understand, this is an experiment for now. It’s likely this comment thread will exceed thousands of comments. I’ll be instituting new comment plug-ins for wordpress to deal with this in the future, but I may archive this page the the posts and refresh this page in the future as well. If this gets cumbersome I may simply institute a dedicated forum-style sub-site of The Rational Male to accommodate for Game specific questions.

So have at it, post your field reports and feel free to comment on the ones you have some particular insight for. Be forewarned that it’s likely things may get a bit salty at times and I expect a lot of back & forth with debate and disagreements, but that’s what this thread is for – to hash out Game particulars for your given situations.

 

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TheMarquis
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Also, just so that it is not all “angsty” stuff from me: wife aside, I’m slowly starting to get a grip on my son’s issues. He still has them, but much better when I’m around to the point my wife said something last week along the lines of “I know I’m a feminist and all that, but I have to say [son] really needs his father..he is so much better when you are at home and not travelling”. And she frequently now calls me – phone or in person – to discipline him when he’s starting to get out of… Read more »

having a bad day
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@TheMarquis Having A Bad Day And Sentient and all the others who advised me on my predicament with online dating a woman who is going to be my kids’ teacher in the new school year – thank you. As you all said, I was overreacting and freaking out. Once I made my excuses and vaguely promised to meet next week, she faded away and unmatched me herself a few days later. Don’t think I have anything to worry about. Even if I meet her at school after my kids join, I’ll just pretend nothing happened. i’ll just point this out…… Read more »

Sentient
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Marquis Very good insights. Sorry to hear about the PE stuff… +1 to all of HABD’s comments. This is all about the fear of the outcome. but it feels like I can’t develop myself to my potential without addressing these issues – and they have to do with me, not my wife. I have to make myself into a better man who feels whole and at peace with himself. Yup. Authenticity. Also realize that this here (there are other issues with my wife) Is also coming from fear… Great stuff with your kid… That is exactly what being a dad… Read more »

theasdgamer
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I have one thing to add to HABD’s excellent analysis…even if you tell a girl that you’re married, she may still try to blame you later for messing around with her when you’re married, especially if your relationship causes her any problems…in which case, the go to play is simply to poke fun at her for this tactic (“whatever” with an amused grin should be perfect), which implies that she’s being silly and absurd…

theasdgamer
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Following on my previous comment, an incorrect response would be to take her accusation seriously, as in:

She: You were married and shouldn’t have tried to get in a relationship with me!

You: What do you mean? You knew I was married.

[at this point you have slipped into the girl’s frame…if you say, “whatever” and grin, you maintain your frame]

…if she pushes some more, “you’re right, it doesn’t take two to tango” (Agree and Amplify) is the play, while maintaining your grin…you maintain your frame and she is chasing, which means that she has abandoned her frame

Blaximus
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She: You were married and shouldn’t have tried to get in a relationship with me! You: Yeah, I’ve done a lot of shit in life that I shouldn’t have done. Poor me…. sigh maybe I’ll just walk into traffic. or You: I didn’t get into a relationship with you. Ohhhh, I see what happened here, you caught feelings. You couldn’t control your emotions. Lol, it’s okay, I forgive you. ( I’ve actually used a similar line ) or You: I’m gonna order some chow because I have a relationship with Uber Eats. You want something? It takes a certain kind… Read more »

theasdgamer
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Blax, if a girl goes nuclear over your dismissal of her bullshit, which you both know is bullshit, it’s a test of your frame. This isn’t rocket science. You hold frame. You can backturn and leave her immediate vicinity if that’s appropriate and take an interest in something or someone else in the room. If you’re isolated with the broad, you just depart.

This sort of test can help alert you if you are too invested in the broad.

Sentient
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Marquis Suggest you ditch online stuff and focus on cold approach SNLs. First it will greatly improve your game by going for SNL. Second it avoids a lot of the issues you face with the online stuff you are doing. No numbers, no phones… Often in this scenario no names as well. That’s comms securiry. I tried early on using a fake name, just a first name even. Doesn’t sit right. Generally as HABD says if you amp up the attraction the name thing may never even come up. I’ve discovered though even if they know your name and number… Read more »

Sentient
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Marquis

Also if it’s not about the sex, why are you so concerned with getting validation from 5 and 6 girls?

Guaranty your wife will be crushed if she finds you’ve bang3d girls lower than her… She can forgive you banging a 9… But a 5? She Will have problems with that.

It reflects on her you know…

wahoo Mcdaniels
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Marquis, never admit anything! Deny everything! Tell the side fling you were separated,tell the wife she was infatuated and nothing happened. When you get a handle on the frame,then the honesty begins from that point forward without regret.

Blaximus
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” You were married and shouldn’t have tried to get in a relationship with me! ”

Hmmm… shit test? Maybe, but it’s the subject matter Lebowski. I don’t see this type of comment as a ” test “.

Guess you’d have to have her standing in front of you to properly gauge what’s really going on under what circumstances, hence my ” whatever ” advisory. If you’re gonna smash a shit test, SMASH that motherfucker.

IAS
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@Marquis: interesting post. What HABD and Sentient wrote, basically. I’m still a bit in your field but I’m much better now. To put it into context, the first time I Kiss closed a woman I freaked out to the extent that I apparently got psychosomatic “herpes” on my lips (thanks again @SJF which put up with me and calming me a lot). But props to you because the way you are writing you are managing to bang new ones regularly (I’m interested on your tales of success there). Own it and make those issues with PE go away. I wasn’t… Read more »

IRL
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@TheMarquis
my son is my responsibility

I’m reading Way of the Warrior Kid by Jocko Willink with my son now. Good framework and practical lessons at the same time. Reads well because it’s a story too.

I think you and your boy will enjoy it. Especially if you put it into practice and both challenge yourselves.

Good effort man.

Culum Struan
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@TantumErgo – coincidentally, I just came across this (On the RooshV Forum of all places!) summary list of a very wide range of martial arts (pretty much everything you’ve heard of) and the pros/cons/comparisons of each one. This is an exceptional list, not just because it lists such a wide variety of martial arts and fighting styles, but also because the author has real expertise – genuine expert level in several arts, and has tried out or experimented with virtually all of them. He really knows what he’s talking about and I like how he’s not a fanboy or religious… Read more »

Sentient
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IAS Come on man… “I really thought it was going well with one particular girl, managed to “stick” with her until almost 5 am and the logistics lined up such that I had isolation just before taking her home, but I must have messed something up because although I felt some vibe going, at the very end she was really insisting I go catch the public transport instead of taking her to the door… ” Dudebro… You are backsliding. Where is the Game in this interactionn? Basics. Always basics first. I.e. DHV? IOI/IOD loop? Compliance tests? Intravenue isolation? Leading? Preselection… Read more »

IAS
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@Sentient: fair enough busting me on being lazy. The frustrating thing here is I’m not sure if I was missing A, or C, or both. Here is a more proper FR. Event is an open air location, very chill crowd, another country. I arrived around 23:00. I was prepared not to find anybody I knew and cold approach a group but I spot guys I met the day before. There were some targets in the group with these guys and some in adjacent sets. I get social with the guys and get Social Proof. Things go well for me as… Read more »

j
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@IAS “I tell her I’ll take her home, as my final public transport is not right now. She appears uncomfortable with the idea.” Well. It’s your job to make her feel comfortable with the idea. “I again tell her it is too early for me to catch my transport so I will walk her to the door. She insists on saying goodbye.” You’ve got to create a better narrative than that, mate. I’d tell her, “I don’t want to just be sitting there at the subway/bus stop waiting for my train/bus to arrive. There’s like so many fucking homeless drunk… Read more »

Sentient
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IAS

“Overall I had good fun on the night and had a good display of social skills. ”

Is this what you wanted? Dancing Monkey level unlocked! 🐵 🔓

Kidding but not kidding.

Can’t break it down now, but there are some good spots I think you missed.

theasdgamer
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Blax, there’s something wrong with your smeller if you can’t tell when a girl is feeding you a line of bullshit. And a man should never ever take bullshit seriously, no matter how great an actress a woman is.

Sentient
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IAS the target girl goes also in the language “What about me?” and I say “You’re not actually [his nationality], you don’t count”. Good. Who’s frame is this in? (Why was she the target btw???) I befriend foreigner and ask him to teach me to a physical skill [think juggling, although it wasn’t]. The girl lends me her material for training. This acted as a DHV because even though I’m the apprentice the guy complied to my request, the target complied in letting me use her stuff, and I’m picking it up reasonably well. Other foreigner leaves relatively early. The… Read more »

theasdgamer
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Field Report Danced with maybe fifteen girls. I think I knew one girl. Got ten rejections. Met some cool, young husbands who were out of towners and chilled with them a bit. I asked one girl to dance who was out with her bf. (First I asked his permission and he Ok’d it.) Turns out that I’ve danced with this girl before. She says that she’s a dancer and I don’t think to ask where. She didn’t follow well, but she asked my name. A beauty, but too bad she couldn’t dance well. The husbands saw me dance with her… Read more »

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Asd 😅 I don’t get conned much by men or women. I can tell when a woman is attempting to ” feed me a line of bullshit “, but my thing is to see if I can get her to stop. It’s an art. A gift that comes through practice. Why do you think I like approaching strange women and having conversation? I’m not trying to bed them, but it’s practice breaking them down like when I was trying to fuck them. That never changes. That’s Game. If you’re only trying to fuck them, you’ll only know how to talk… Read more »

IAS
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@J and @Sentient:
thanks for the advice and breakdown. Very helpful to see things from outside. Indeed several things didn’t go well there.
Main message is overall I was too passive instead of leading.

palmasailor
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@IAS This is what happens with call centre agents who are not taught to sell but are told do follow a script and in 1/3 cases it will result in a sale. Talented salespeople feel an internalised “script” but most don’t. They all do the same thing, get a couple of sales, think “hey I’ve got this” and they fall off script so sales tank. With all the other things in your life you are actually changing internally. I’ll put this out there without being specific, but your small business does have good enough fundamentals that you really could b… Read more »

Culum Struan
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@IAS – great stuff from @j and Sentient. I’ll only add two things: On the meta-stuff – reading that just felt like you weren’t proceeding with A Plan. You have all the knowledge you need, but you need to actually apply the structure and go through it without being distracted. If you’d been stopped at any point inthe night and asked – what is your plan to pull this girl (incorporating the usual Mystery ACS/M3 framework but specifically applied to yoursituation) and where in that plan you were at that precise moment, would you have been able to answer? I… Read more »

Palmasailor
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So It’s a sunny Sunday so I’ve taken my place at the trendy bar I usually score in and I’m being cockblocked by this lot that haven’t uttered a word to each other in 30 minutes

https://imgur.com/a/H2nt7fv

Human contact is finished

Palmasailor
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Oh I’ve worked it out – the boys are on the other side of the bar..

That’s how they’re gonna get laid 😂

https://imgur.com/a/cgPiOwZ

Culum Struan
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@Palma – I mentioned something similar in an FR about a hotel bar once.

Sentient told me to get up and go walk over to the cute girl’s side of the bar and go talk to her.

Alternative suggestion: catch her eye and make some kind of jokey gesture about the obstacles and roll your eyes or something.

Palmasailor
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Culum

No actually she’s with another guy so I didn’t mean that..

But the bar was full of kids on their phones so no one else could move in..

That’s what I meant. This is the drunk doctor and gay bloke bar and it’s always good.

Blaximus
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” human contact is finished ”

Certainly looks that way.

But the upside is, the guy who Will put down his phone/crack pipe and approach all of these chicks will seem novel ( or annoying, depending on the level of brain damage already caused by phone staring radiation) and different, as long as he can apply a modicum of Game.

kfg
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I walked past a house with a street level picture window a couple of days ago. The drapes were wide open. Inside a big screen TV was playing and there were a half dozen or so college age men sitting around. Not one of them was paying any attention to the TV, or each other. They were all fixated on their “phones.”

Sentient
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Palma

Good opportunity to go over to those girls…

“So… You two. What’s wrong with your phones (arch eyebrows, point to masses on phones”

And you’re off.

Next move bounce them back to your space. Command and back turn lead after hooking.

Palmasailor
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@sentient

There aren’t any girls here – my point was they were blocking that landing strip – now clear!

https://imgur.com/a/v6LoY71

Blaximus
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Kfg One of the most vexing things I’ve noticed is the volume of men addicted to ” smartphones “. Traditionally, women have always had an affinity for phones and ” talking ” endlessly, even when it was analog and hardline, but men didn’t spend much time on phones unless they were actually doing something. Out in the wild I can’t help but consistently notice how many men are hunched over staring into those little screens. I recently walked into an office at work containing 2 ” managers ” head down, fingering phones. I gently said ” thimble fuck this weekend… Read more »

theasdgamer
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“I don’t get conned much by men or women. I can tell when a woman is attempting to ” feed me a line of bullshit “, but my thing is to see if I can get her to stop.” Glad you clarified. Sure, you’re practicing your game skills. My “whatever” response works for me. Low effort and iron frame = smashing shit tests…once girls are used to that, they come around pretty quickly…but they will always, always test you…so never expect that girls will stop if your game is “good enough”…it doesn’t work that way…you might as well try to… Read more »

TheMarquis
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Thank you to Everyone who commented. It’s given me even more to think about. IRL – coincidentally, we just read the Jocko Willink book to my son and he enjoyed it. This particular book was actually my wife’s idea so she read most of it to him, and I read some. I think he’s still slightly young to fully understand it (7) but I need to incorporate references from it to his sporting activities. There are also a couple of sequels which I have been meaning to buy. IAS – Thank You. I find sleeping with new girls to be… Read more »

IAS
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@TheMarquis:

“My wife sometimes tells me out of the blue, something like “You’re the only man I’ve ever trusted” and that always makes me feel really unpleasant and guilty.”

Oh she is good. She is feeling the dread and this is a shit test, and, as @HABD would say, you are really feeling that FI hand pressing hard on your shoulder…

TheMarquis
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Thank you IAS. I should also add that my wife’s most serious boyfriend before me (not the last one before me, but the most serious before me), cheated on her and when she found out, she contacted the Other Woman (who didn’t know the guy had a girlfriend) and both of them arranged to meet him in a coffee shop at the same time and both enjoyed the shock on his face when he saw them together and both of them dumped him there. It’s been years since I heard the story, but if I remember correctly, he was very… Read more »

ChunkyMonkey
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@Blaximus “I don’t get conned much by men or women. I can tell when a woman is attempting to ” feed me a line of bullshit “, but my thing is to see if I can get her to stop. It’s an art. A gift that comes through practice. Why do you think I like approaching strange women and having conversation? I’m not trying to bed them, but it’s practice breaking them down like when I was trying to fuck them. That never changes. That’s Game.” Do you never get blind sided? Some people are very good, one tell I’ve… Read more »

Blaximus
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Marquis Lots of thoughts. I’ll get back to you in ( long ) detail a bit later, but the first thing I’d like to say is that stress over anything that a man is doing is unhealthy. You either need to figure out how to do what you want without stress and worry, or rethink what you want or are doing. Advice like Black Dragon’s is mostly only actionable for relationships from the very beginning and basically useless for a man midstream in a marriage or ltr. A majority of men could NEVER pull that kind of scenario off. Marriage… Read more »

IRL
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@TheMarquis Not much time to respond properly, so I may come back with more details if other don’t cover them. IRL – coincidentally, we just read the Jocko Willink book to my son and he enjoyed it. “We”? Where’ the male space? This is a boys book. This particular book was actually my wife’s idea Why? What is she trying to solve? And why is she in the driver’s seat? so she read most of it to him, and I read some. You’re missing opportunities to take control over how your son is raised, build male only space, do what… Read more »

ChunkyMonkey
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@Blaximus,

Just to add, I’m not talking in a relationship context specifically.

It could be as simple as stopping someone who works for you from doing something daft.

It would be nice to be able to persuade without the the use of authority, or such like, and have some willing think “you know what, that’s a good idea”, rather than annoyance, followed by grudging acceptance.

Dog logic is definitely not the way.

Blaximus
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Chunky Good morning man! When I was younger, 20 and less, sure I got blindsided. That’s part of how I learned. Mostly everyone has a public face or persona they cultivate and put forth. It’s rare to meet strangers and get a true read on who that hard and what their motivations are. I listen to what people say, but I take everything with a giant boulder sized grain of salt. I need to keep them engaged to be able to read them and pull out the ” real ” then in bits and pieces. Everyone’s words will give hints… Read more »

Blaximus
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Oh, re: coworkers. This is a tougher one as the work environment along with it’s myriad of rules and regulations make actionable reading of co-workers more difficult. Rarely will I resort to using ” authority ” ( because I don’t like it being used on me…). I demonstrate capability and if the coworker can’t recognize it, then they are in their own. Without being highly capable, why would anyone listen to my suggestions? Stopping a co-worker from fucking up is the same as anything else. You try to get them to reach your conclusion themselves. It’s not manipulation as much… Read more »

Sentient
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Marquis ” I can only conclude that bizarre as it seems, the women’s enjoyment of the experience was not really correlated with how long I lasted or even if she orgasmed or not. The biggest indicator of how much she enjoyed herself and her willingness to put in effort to come and see me again on my terms seems to be just how much she was into me, and how much she liked me. The more attracted she was to me, the more the women enjoyed themselves, but not actually anything I did in bed.” Not bizarre at all. Do… Read more »

having a bad day
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@TheMarquis Sentient and Having A Bad Day. A lot to process. there certainly is…lol it might be better if you unpack a basic concept as it applies to your situ… as @Rollo constantly writes about… limiting men’s sexual strategy and maximizing girls’ sexual strategy (open hypergamy) are what the FI is all about… this concept defines your whole problem… it’s all about you having sexual needs and being shamed when you try to fill those needs… THAT is just the FI in play… and THAT is informing all of your issues – from the PE… to the guilt… to the… Read more »

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@HABD: Love your post, particularly the last bits about the threesome LOL. Brutal, funny, informative. Info that first makes me laugh and then makes me think. Ignobel prize style. @TheMarquis: obviously ready what HABD wrote, but here in short form again… Your wife presumably has N>1, presumably N>2 even. So even if it is true that you are the only man she ever trusted (see also @Sentient’s take one it), take note of the fact she fucked the ones she didn’t trust. If you consider that, maybe you can view that when she is saying that, is not a compliment… Read more »

ChunkyMonkey
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Evening Blaximus, “Mostly everyone has a public face or persona they cultivate and put forth. It’s rare to meet strangers and get a true read on who that hard and what their motivations are. I listen to what people say, but I take everything with a giant boulder sized grain of salt. I need to keep them engaged to be able to read them and pull out the ” real ” then in bits and pieces. Everyone’s words will give hints and clues, even down to how they structure sentences.” It seems to me, that, that’s the nub of game… Read more »

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Palmasailor

Oh I’ve worked it out – the boys are on the other side of the bar..

Now you’ve done it. You’ve gone and triggered my inner Walt Kowalski.

(Walt is Never Safe For Work)

theasdgamer
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“It’s not manipulation as much as it is leading them”

Good leadership requires manipulation and sometimes doing a small evil to achieve a greater good.

“The worst consequence is blowing up my entire life.”

Nah, the worst consequence is not being the kind of man you want to be. The worst consequence is to fail to be good at being a man.

Palmasailor
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@Anonymous Reader (Walt is Never Safe For Work) Don’t worry I don’t work in the normal way. Anyway no way that’s me, Walt is positively charming compared to how I am if I forget to rotate the table until it doesn’t wobble and end up spilling my morning covefee. Yes I really do that every morning because the arseholes don’t make a 3 legged table that wouldn’t wobble by design. On top of that I’ve just realised the damn fools are gonna shut the end of my street for a “pride event” so I won’t be able to get the… Read more »

palmasailor
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@Anonymous Reader To give you an idea how stroppy I’ve become I had a “date” on Saturday night. Stupidly I’d gone for an “age appropriate” one at 49. I know – don’t shoot me but she was super slim and fun I thought. On that basis she was a “would bang” but it was either way. Note to self, 49 year old women are rarely fun, unless they’re on holiday so you are explicitly excluded from provider potential. And most of the time they hate “dating” aka sifting through men to try to find a provider they can put up… Read more »

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This here story is like a bad Lifetime movie, or maybe something from Netflix.
Super duper prof who teaches an Ivy class on “decision making” … shaking mah haid…

https://www.thecut.com/2019/07/bruce-hay-paternity-trap-maria-pia-shuman-mischa-haider.html?utm_source=tw#comments

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@PalmaSailor

“Well, darlin’, I have to be going now, but here’s a shirt to remember me by…”
comment image

palmasailor
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@Anonymous Reader “This here story is like a bad Lifetime movie, or maybe something from Netflix. Super duper prof who teaches an Ivy class on “decision making” … shaking mah haid…” Well firstly the hubris of this type of person. They’ve an unshakeable belief in their own thought bubble, an ego which is stoked daily by others’ validation and deference to their status. Never challenged by anyone capable of challenging them. Then he’s a very lonely man so there’s that. He’s “left leaning” so “progressive” and on anti depressants.. right.. they probably invented soy lattes for this guy. Then there’s… Read more »

palmasailor
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god The penny has just dropped on the hindbrain decision to bail last Saturday night..

She’d asked if I was lonely.. That was the hindbrain thermal cut out.

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Palmasailor This guy was the mark because he didn’t have pro active control of his own intimacy needs. Yeah, but it goes so much further, there’s so much more. I mean, he’s divorced, but living in the same house with his ex, and she has some kind of veto over his sex life anyway? Frame of Jello? No, weaker than that. This guy Hay was the mark because he’s a blue pill Average Frustrated Chump and very likely somewhere on the autism spectrum. So sure, he’s one thirsty dude, but still…c’mon, what a sucker. The line Frenchiie-girl used on him… Read more »

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Palmasailor

She’d asked if I was lonely.. That was the hindbrain thermal cut out.

There ya go, what a “tell”. People project their own issues onto others all the time, but sometimes it’s not easy to see.

The woman who is always bossing her kids and man around is the first woman to get all irate when someone else tries to boss her around. The man who is perpetually angry gets really worked up around another man who is…perpetually angry.

Strong, independent woman who don’t need no man asks you “Are you lonely”?
Lol!

“No, but I can see you are! Here’s your shirt!”

walawala
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Just one to share in the “Disaster” Department. Met an HB8 at a party two weeks ago, ran standard game, kino and number closed. Next day I set up a drinks date and continued teasing—all good. The night before the meet up she texted to say she was working and could we move it to Wednesday. Ok. Wednesday comes, I show up, text to say I’ve arrived. I get a text to the effect: “OMG! I’m still working. I totally forgot sorry I will be there.” Huh? She set this up. Me: “You’re buying the first round.” I settle in… Read more »

Blaximus
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Chunky Busy week full of rain and biblical flooding and shit. Okay, let’s see what we have here…. ” Do you never get blind sided? Some people are very good, one tell I’ve found is to be wary of people that kiss your backside within 5 minutes of meeting. A smile that doesn’t match the eyes is another. What else do you look for?” I believe a man has to be mostly immune to flattery and stuff like that. Admiration is different than flattery. Imo, flattery is empty and hollow. Kissing my ass will get hardly and real reaction from… Read more »

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Shit. I didn’t finish the story. We’d learbned from some of the local PD that Buzzy was acused of being some sort of hitman. Mostly Mob contracted. They say he killed 10 people. Now, I don’t consider Buzzy evil and I can’t pass that judgement on him. I love Buzzy, but he needed to go to prison and probably get the death penalty if what they said was true. Doen’t change the way I see him fully because people do fucked up shit, and Buzzy chose to become one of the fucked up among us. No evil, just men/women. Now,… Read more »

Blaximus
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Chunky Part 2. Breaking women down. It’s different than dealing with men. Only the weakest of men can be ” broken ” down, and that doesn’t constitute a majority. Men look for different qualities in other men, and these usually have to be demonstrated ( loyalty, strength of character, honesty, etc ). Women don’t really care about those things per se, but they do care about their ability to discern these things, even while not caring that much about the consistency of the application. You punched her in the eye but she excuses it for you because she knows you’re… Read more »

palmasailor
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@walawala Horrible conclusion is there wasn’t enough or you didn’t maintain enough (A) attraction. She was in the flow and felt it at the party so gave out the number on a whim to a bloke who was interesting and fun but you probably didn’t blow her away so she forgot about the date. She’s an 8 after all so has options. You prompted her and she was probably local so thought “what the heck”. (Hindbrain branch swing option) She probably always looks smokin hot, she has to if she’s gonna maximise right? “You’re buying the first round.” – did… Read more »

walawala
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@palma The whole night was a shit show from her “forgetting” we were set to meet when she had arranged it up to her suddenly taking a call from her bf and then saying he was sick and had to leave to meet him. I’ve had some shockers before but this was the biggest head scratcher. It was going well. She was sexualizing the conversation. I have a few thoughts: 1) sudden guilt and hamster spinning 2) not attracted—but then why would she respond to kino and sexualize the conversation? This is clearly someone with issues. The point of this… Read more »

Palmasailor
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@walawala

How did you respond when she asked you when you last had sex?

I could see her bailing if her 10yo suddenly had an emergency but bailing because the bf wasn’t well?

walawala
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@Palma I looked her directly in the eye and said “Last week…” paused as her eyes widened, then I said “My turn and asked her apart from her lips what part of her body do you most like kissed?” She blushed again and pulled back laughing “That’s personal…” Me: “Well…go on…can’t back out…” She replied. The more I think of this the more I suspect she double booked and may have over-looked the date. She arrived as quickly as she could. She had drinks and we had a great Questions Game. I bounced her to another location and she sexualized.… Read more »

walawala
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@Palma After going through it, I think I activated her Anti Slut Defense somehow or rather the constant needy texting, her sexualizing the Questions Game and my kino must have fried her circuits and activated her ASD.

The only thing to do is spin other plates. They usually come back or re-engage.

palmasailor
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@walawala

Yes it is ALL a shit test.

Just me, but I wouldn’t have answered that question directly. IMO that was a shit test fail but of course I might be wrong.

You were answering questions she was demanding so qualifying yourself.

My go to when I’m stumped is to say “in the northern or Southern Hemisphere?”

Then change the subject.

Who knows!

palmasailor
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Last week I got hit with “are you married”

Me “in the northern or Southern Hemisphere?”

Her 😳

Me “well I did marry an Eskimo but I needed fish at the time”

Then move on

walawala
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@Palma Right, but context is king. We were playing the Questions Game so when she sexualizes first it requires a direct answer. If this was the “are you married?” nonsense then it’s a shit test.

There are no Shit Tests in the Questions Game.

palmasailor
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I have to head out but later I’ll have to google the questions game. That’s not translating over the pond. Over here I wouldn’t grant any interaction as a shit test exclusion zone.. Never mind what the “rules” say.

Sentient
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Wala Calibration with 8s is heightened. Margin of error smaller. Tests more subtle. Microcalibration called for. “I’ve also come to realize in the early stages of gaming a girl…EVERYTHING is a shit test. ” My view is you started to lose it when she showed up late after skipping the first date. Instead of “you buy the first round” add “next time” and breeze. Put you in a chasing frame. Calibration. When’s the last time a dude skipped on her? Especially Asians? Never. THAT would’ve fried her circuits. I get man. Cause “hot” and you want it. Great “conversationalist”… Lol.… Read more »

Sentient
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Wala “not attracted—but then why would she respond to kino and sexualize the conversation?” Add “enough” after attracted… Microcalibration. Also consider that a 32 YO soon to be former 8 with a 10 YO kid and a needy BF is trying to give you a chance to BE that AF stud she was hoping for… 8s and above are very comfortable with Kino… It’s THEIR stock in trade, they lean in to a guy or touch his arm amd get whatever the fuck they want in life… Microcalibration So she’s sexualizing first? That’s the AF studs job. Consider she was… Read more »

Sentient
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Last word Wala… Easy to get “lulled” with these and a big part of that is your game is pretty tight. It’s very easy to smoothly grab these girls amd bounce them and lead a charming encounter with lot’s of Kino and ease of touch around her, no lulls in convo, some banter etc. And next thing you know you think you are halfway home, because with that 7 you are. Another smooth by the book encounter! You the man! The difference is the 7 is giving you DDB eyes at that point and the 8 is still composed. Microcalibration.… Read more »

Sentient
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j
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j
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@Walawala “Horrible conclusion is there wasn’t enough or you didn’t maintain enough (A) attraction” “2) not attracted—but then why would she respond to kino and sexualize the conversation?” “The only thing I can think of is her buying temperature overheated and she became overwhelmed by having me in front of her and her needy bf constantly texting her” Yep. She was starting to feel herself getting turned on via the sexualized question game, and then stopped herself because is still wasnt 100% sure on you yet (not enough attraction/investment from her). And it certainly didnt help your case, that her… Read more »

Walawala
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@Sentient. About sums it up. The hb8 part was the obstacle the 32 year old milf part was…

I did sexualise first with are you a good kisser , how old were you when you first kissed a boy. She then threw that one out to me.

Sentient
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J

“Female State Control”… More rebranded marketing terms from this dipshit. Zero new here.

He has a fundamental – or deliberate – mis understanding of MM and is all about this:

” You can learn from Alek, the master and originator of sex talk himself, by booking a 1-hour phone consultation with him.”

Lol.

Grifters gonna grift.

Palmasailor
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@ sentient

Thinking it through but I’m not sure I’d play that game..

Perhaps I’ll give it a go a few times on something cannon fodder

Sentient
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Palma

It’s comfort material, not attraction material. You need to have established solid attraction before you do something like this. Or you get what Wala got. Or worse…

In MM this would be at second location change stuff…

Palmasailor
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@sentient

OK – “Comfort material”

Seems like you’re opening yourself up to handing her the frame and an automatic shit test fail on anything she wants to pull.

You would have to have maxed A and firmly established frame to risk it.. very very risky in early game I think.

Perhaps use post bang.. for C

j
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@Sentient “Grifters gonna grift” How exactly is a dating coach offering his services a con artist? “rebranded marketing terms” What is he rebranding, old man? ASD? He goes over how it’s different from ASD in the article. It’s literally the third sentence of the post 😂. which I’m sure you didn’t even read. Old man see something new and unfamiliar = immediately dismiss it. But I’ll repost it just for you 😘 “This form of resistance is very common, different from the other more well-known resistance type called anti-slut defense or ASD. The difference is that ASD deals with her… Read more »

Walawala
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@j. Right which means the constant bf texting was cock blocking me.

This female frame control idea is that more time was needed to break it down.

The attraction was sparked and we were pinging back and forth between comfort and attraction…

Then her rational brain kicked in.

I don’t think given the circumstances I could have done better But I certainly didn’t do any worse.

What was most important was my reaction as she left which was “bye” without any needy follow up.

Overgaming is a rookie error. In some situations you play the hand you’re given and learn from it.

Sentient
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J The whole piece is full of BS rewording… This here. “Teevster notes the negative side effects of waiting till the end phase of the model (seduction) to be sexual ” Just reinforces that he (nor you) didn’t read MM, understand it or watched any of Mystery’s many seminars… Which is often a deliberate posture to then sell your “improved” products. Lot’s of Mystery’s attraction material set a sexual frame. Why? Duh… Preselection is the greatest attraction switch. What Mystery said about Seduction was wait until you were in a sex location before you began to ACT on it… If… Read more »

Sentient
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“FSC is a biological mechanism that helps women make rational choices about sex partners””

He’s blending ASD (which is more than social shaming… Lol. It’s about how you percieve her as well [among other things]) with AF/BB.

Not New. Loving the “rational choices” though… Gotta throw some Purple in as well…

Palmasailor
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@walawala.

I didn’t know pinging back and forth between A & C was a thing.

I’ve always just maxed A and I’m still having problems with C.

Despite that I thought you went from A to C, not ping back and forth.

Anyway I think you opened yourself up needlessly thinking you were in C when you were actually still in A.

But that’s just my opinion.

What do you think you learned?

theasdgamer
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“Teevster notes the negative side effects of waiting till the end phase of the model (seduction) to be sexual (something a lot of guys who run MM complain about.” Somehow I don’t think that Mystery said that being sexual had to wait until seduction. You can be sexual up front with a glance at her body. You just don’t give approval about her looks until she earns it. And she doesn’t get seduction until she earns it by passing your A-2 compliance tests. I’m very skeptical about this FSM bullshit. Girls haven’t changed their wiring since Mystery wrote MM. Seems… Read more »

having a bad day
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@Sentient Wala

Wait till HABD chimes in. 😂

lol…

on my phone… and no time…

but +1… on palmasailor too…

structural ‘beta’ (waiting for her/dinner/etc) puts you into a hole (and not in a good way…lol) wrt AF studville…lol… especially with hb8+…. so just squeezed your margin of error too much…

just a great opportunity to practice turning it around!!!

wait a couple weeks to reset then ping for a drink… and go all AF by the numbers…

good luck!

walawala
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@Palma The lesson here is quit before you get blown out. If after that first drink I would have just said “Ok, let’s do this again soon” and left first I would have had a better chance for another shot.

As it stands now she will feel terrible for the way she acted and this conflict and my silence will fry her brain but it’s still 50/50.

Palmasailor
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@walawala

I probably would have shut it down in the face of a barrage of texts.

But to pull a genuine 8 that’s 20 years younger needs bullet proof game and I just think she pulled the red ejector seat button the minute she wasn’t feeling it.

I don’t think she gives a shit or feels guilty at all to be honest.

Sorry to say that.

Sentient
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Wala

“The lesson here is quit before you get blown out. If after that first drink I would have just said “Ok, let’s do this again soon” and left first I would have had a better chance for another shot.”

Go back through this thinking… This is the text you should have sent when she “forgot” to show up.

That would fry her circuits.

Sentient
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Palma

A C S is a progression but not a stair step “set and forget” routine. You will cycle between/through as you go. If you want to criticize MM this is one area he did not make hyper explicit in the book for the sperglords.

Watching the dozens of tapes fills in the gaps.

Sentient
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On the phone thing. Remember you can just take it or make her put it away… 😁

Palmasailor
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“On the phone thing. Remember you can just take it or make her put it away… 😁”

It would have been turned off if she’d been out with Clooney.

Anonymous Reader
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Sentient
On the phone thing.

One exec I know is former military, his term is “stack arms”. Everyone’s phone handset goes in the middle of the conference room table, no exceptions. Ringtones? Ignored. The millennials hate it but don’t dare to try to buck the order.

Opportunity to lead by example; opportunity for compliance testing, in many venues.
Once I asked someone “Who else did you bring with you?” pointing to the phone. Eventually she got the hint.

Palmasailor
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@Anonymous Reader

I can’t remember a date where a phone has been a problem.

Other problems / lack of game yes, but phones, no.

Culum Struan
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@Sentient – noted re the comments to @TheMarquis! Now I just need to actually have some dates and meet some girls and not be in constant pain from training! @Walawala – just a couple of minor points quickly as don’t have much time – most points covered already anyway. First, I would personally not text to let a girl i’ve arrived anywhere. Comes across a bit needy. At most I’d have touched base earlier in the day with some kind of pretext (NOT “Are we still on for 6pm?” More like assuming the sale and saying “I may only get… Read more »

Culum Struan
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@Sentient/Palma:

ON this:

“A C S is a progression but not a stair step “set and forget” routine. You will cycle between/through as you go. If you want to criticize MM this is one area he did not make hyper explicit in the book for the sperglords.

Watching the dozens of tapes fills in the gaps.”

They did explain that in the live MM seminar I did, way back in the mid-2000s….strange it didn’t make it to videos or book.

j
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@Sentient “Which is often a deliberate posture to then sell your “improved” products process” Teevster and I (as well as others in my chat) get laid in less than an hour, because we understand and follow the same process (there’s no accident “I don’t know what I did. it just happened” fools gold bullshit that mystery talked about. There are deliberate frames/topics we set/talk about that have allowed us to cut through that long process. That we want other guys to be following as well. That’s why I post here. I read the field reports on here, and see where… Read more »

Palmasailor
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@culum

“it’s more about amping the attraction and getting her horny fast and going for a fast pull.”

Yes thats my default setting.

Finding it difficult to reprogram the firmware to change that

Always end up thinking “nah.. just hit it”…

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