Field Reports

lion-chasing-gazelle

For the past three years of The Rational Male there’s been a consistent presence in the comment threads of guys seeking advice for particular situations with regards to Game. Whether it’s fine tuning certain aspects of Game or a larger consensus of the guys participating in my comment threads it’s become obvious there’s a need for a dedicated page and comment thread to address these Field Reports.

So I’m instituting this page for exactly this. If there is some urgency to have members of The Rational Male community analyze your particular situation feel free to hit anyone up in the comments of my current post, but please refer them to your particular field report with a link to your comment here. I’m hoping this will alleviate the mass of posts for field report analysis and Game specific insights piled into the main blog post for any given week.

There will be some rules for this “forum” as such. I ask that you only keep your comments to addressing the field reports at hand and save your larger theoretical stuff for the main posts, or if relevant, keep the “bigger scope of things” posts to being as succinct as possible. There will be no moderation in this comment thread (spamming excepted), so realize it will be a very hot kitchen before you post. I will impose no restrictions on video links here, nor will I limit links to various, but pertinent articles.

Understand, this is an experiment for now. It’s likely this comment thread will exceed thousands of comments. I’ll be instituting new comment plug-ins for wordpress to deal with this in the future, but I may archive this page the the posts and refresh this page in the future as well. If this gets cumbersome I may simply institute a dedicated forum-style sub-site of The Rational Male to accommodate for Game specific questions.

So have at it, post your field reports and feel free to comment on the ones you have some particular insight for. Be forewarned that it’s likely things may get a bit salty at times and I expect a lot of back & forth with debate and disagreements, but that’s what this thread is for – to hash out Game particulars for your given situations.

 

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SJF
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@Rc It is axiomatic, but often unsaid that masculine self-improvement in Married Red Pill is more about fixing you, or making you better, not fixing her. You are not going to fix her by giving her shit or doing stuff for her on Valentines day. That doesn’t mean you can’t or you shouldn’t. Just don’t go seeking her validation for your efforts. Test doing what you want to do. Go with your gut. Go with your instincts. Things may not go well, but at least you did it on your terms. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/intimacy-and-desire/201108/do-you-want-your-partner-stroke-your-ego-or-your-genitals Do You Want Your Partner To Stroke Your… Read more »

SJF
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Ian Ironwood at his Blog The Red Pill Room was a good Married Red Pill writer. Feminist writers (who are involved in the Divorce Industry) explain what tired women want on Valentine’s Day: https://theredpillroom.blogspot.com/2013/02/what-do-divorce-experts-say-women-want.html Anyone with any Red Pill understanding will see that the above list of what women “really” want from the men they’ve sworn to spend their lives with isn’t the solid strength and passionate embrace of the love of their lives in a tempest of Alpha-laden erotic meaning, its: Beta Beta Beta Beta Beta Beta Beta and more Beta Seriously, if that post doesn’t depress the hell… Read more »

theasdgamer
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@SJF I figured that you’d like this story. I have been chauffering Mrs. Gamer around. Originally it was because of her knee, but I think that she has been playing me lately since her knee is so much better and she should be able to drive. So I took her to her Bible Study group. Then I went home and was in a convo with Daughter Gamer about her man…I lost track of time and was twenty minutes late to pick up Mrs. G. I didn’t apologize for being late nor did Mrs. G. bring up the subject. I just… Read more »

SJF
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@ASD I did like that story. Sounds like a Flow State. Not kidding. It’s “Like a Boss”. It’s a microcosm. What can be eaten at Long John Silvers? I didn’t get much out of The Art of Seduction. This is a neat book: Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience July 1, 2008 by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi And I’ve really been getting a shit ton of good reading from David Schnarch’s books. Great fixings for marriage issues. It’s not traditional marriage counseling. It is thinking outside the box. Might even help your daughter and son in law, but not from you fixing… Read more »

Blaximus
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I dig Valentine’s day.

When I was a young pup, I celebrated v-dayy just like everyone else did.

When I was a young adult, I rejected v-day for it’s manipulative commercialism and one sidedness. What’s so goddamn speshul about women?
( Around this time in life I’d rejected a lot of stuff, including all holidays. Then once I figured out what was what, I rebuilt my pov on these things with me and my interests coming first…)

How I’ve built v-day in my own image and I dig the he’ll out of it.

Sentient
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“One sidedness”

See that’s a difference.

If you need to think hard about VDay, or are trembling at the thought of it. Well then there are issues you need to address. Otherwise, it’s not much different then someone saying Good Morning and you saying Good Morning back.

SJF
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“How I’ve built v-day in my own image and I dig the he’ll out of it.”

Exactly.

A microcosm for the win.

theasdgamer
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What can be eaten at Long John Silvers?

Mrs. G. likes the fish with malt vinegar. (I make my own malt vinegar ad hoc for Mrs. G. using molasses and apple cider vinegar which she really likes.) The hush puppies are not bad. And we live away from the ocean. LJS must fly their fish in daily because they don’t have that frozen fish taste.

j
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j
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I don’t think anybody said anything about hating v-day. @SJF on the previous page: “Valentine’s Day? I never do nothing. It’s a fake, made up day. For 13 year olds.” Just that V-day comes with expectations. Your suppose to be romantic that day. I’d rather be romantic whenever I want to be with my girl (In the five years since I’ve found the manosphere, I’ve only bought one girl a gift. and it wasn’t on Valentine’s day, nor her birthday. It cost the equivalence of 3 U.S Dollars cause I got it from another country, but it was much for… Read more »

EhIntellect
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“Just that V-day comes with expectations.”

As in all BP, common culture St. Valentine’s Day is a gift to all RP’ed: a test to be smashed, an expectation to be trounced, a desire bang to be had.

I’m expecting a bit of “What are you doing for you wife today?”

I’ll say in southern boy redneck accent: “She do me real niiiiiice like.”

That should take care of it.

wahoo Mcdaniels
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I just invited the misus out to blm land to shovel sand tommorow. When’s valentines day?

SJF
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@Blax But one thing is clear for any married man: staying together if you aren’t into the marriage is like a slow suicide. It’s a highly individual choice how each man handles these things. For months and months I was racked with guilt after my divorce, and I second guessed my self about whether or not I should have waited or done things differently or not said this or that. Doing what’s best for yourself sometimes comes with pain and anguish initially when your decision affects another person, unless you are a natural born asshole. If you are actually trying… Read more »

SJF
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Edit your post times out after 15 minutes? Really Rollo? Why? In my song playlist: Lyrics: I Won’t Back Down Well I won’t back down No I won’t back down You can stand me up at the gates of Hell But I won’t back down No I’ll stand my ground Won’t be turned around And I’ll keep this world from draggin’ me down Gonna stand my ground And I won’t back down (I won’t back down) Hey baby There ain’t no easy way out (I won’t back down) Hey I, will stand my ground And I won’t back down Well… Read more »

SJF
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Laying here 7:00 AM. R.E.M’s Bang and Blame on XM in the ear buds. I uncharachteristically woke up early with characteristic morning wood 45 minutes ago. So then I banged her when she was fidgeting with a hot flash. And then wished her a Happy Valentine’s Day. So that settles that day. Now I can go about our business…

Then she went and put the trash and recyclables out to the curb for early AM pick-up.

wahoo Mcdaniels
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@IAS This was on the top 40 play list in the USA before you were born. 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover Paul Simon The problem is all inside your head she said to me The answer is easy if you take it logically I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free There must be fifty ways to leave your lover She said it’s really not my habit to intrude Furthermore, I hope my meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued But I’ll repeat myself at the risk of being crude There must be fifty ways to leave… Read more »

having a bad day
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@AR kfg HABD – Rolodex kfg – Flash Card Gotta go with kfg on this one, even though “rrrrrolodex” just ripples off the tongue, because they are almost all gone, whereas Flash Cards still sorta exist at least for grade school. Also the image of replacing her flash card with a newer one is useful – she still may have a deck of obnoxious cards, but one of them has been replaced & upgraded. The process of rewiring neural pathways takes time. flash cards are a great mental model!… especially when you’ve already passed ‘Girls 101’…lol… and/or when you are… Read more »

DisgruntledEarthling
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Valentines day – Completely forgot about it. Woke up, fucked her in the shower, and on the way out the front door she said “Happy Valentines”…
I’ll get a little bunch of flowers tonight – I like them too

having a bad day
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@theasdgamer

“Cocky funny” is for beginners while “amused mastery” is for men with solid frame–is that how you see it?

i just see ‘cocky/funny’ as a subset of ‘amused mastery’…

good luck!

palmasailor
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Interesting on the last red man group podcast Donovan sharpe said “don’t feed em before you fuck em” Sort of hit home as I’ve got the current Japanese plate who has a boyfriend and comes over to fuck but up until now there’s always another ‘reason’ for her visit. Usually I cook. Then we fuck and I don’t like it this way round. I’d thought it was her rationalising that she wasn’t being unfaithful, she was coming over for xyz reason and it “just happened” but it’s occurred to me that it’s on the wrong foot. Until now plates and… Read more »

j
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“Thinking about it of course this sequence rewards her for behaviour I want” Even how you previously handled your former plates is interesting. (might explain why your other plates have disappeared). This “Fuck me and then I’ll cook for you as a reward” mindset. Because I believe it should actually be the other way around tbh. See, for me, I think of sex as something ((I)) give girls. In return, I receive her angelic best behavior. Her wanting to please me to the best of her ability. Which include ordering dinner for me, going into the kitchen to get me… Read more »

palmasailor
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@J

Previous plates are still there but I moved away. They still visit from time to time despite boyfriends / husbands but it’s very infrequent. They all wanted marriage / long term commitment so I dumped them out of “relationships” at the time.

Ref the 17th. Don’t know why they’d bother. They don’t get tips or anything here. Service jobs are nothing like the US. Most of them are ZFG if the customer comes back.

I’ve made it to 51 without having that thought so who knows what that says.

theasdgamer
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“Sometimes they’re absolutely all over me, chatting, talking shit and flirting, and other times they’re cold as ice barely able to serve me”. yeah…..I’m afraid that’s just classic Hot/Cold (or as we like to call it, Push/Pull) behavior they like running on their clientele to keep them coming back for business Maybe sometimes there’s someone around occasionally with 0.01% better game…sometimes Palma’s their best option, but not when men are around with better game…or maybe a boyfriend comes in sometimes to keep an eye on his girl…which would garner him attention from all the waitresses…or maybe the girls just enjoy… Read more »

theasdgamer
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@HABD

@theasdgamer

“Cocky funny” is for beginners while “amused mastery” is for men with solid frame–is that how you see it?

i just see ‘cocky/funny’ as a subset of ‘amused mastery’…

good luck!

Thanks. Out in the field, I see young men who can do cocky/funny to generate desire, but they end up getting dumped a lot because they lack frame. I see Amused Mastery ™ as coming out of a solid frame.

Without frame you don’t have enough game to maintain desire. Frame generates love in a woman, which lasts longer than mere desire.

Culum Struan
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Sentient (and others, but I know Sentient will be interested). Some light entertainment: I was re-reading some very old YaReally material some time ago when really bored and came across this link, some of his earliest writings when he briefly posted on Susan Walsh’s HookingUpSmart (I don’t think this is on the YaReally Archive, or at least I never saw it). This is the “Early YaReally” period – in 2012, before he learnt much about Red Pill, before he started talking about things like the importance of Laser EC etc – he was basically a pure old school PUA, but… Read more »

Blaximus
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Tyler.😂

Sentient
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Interesting find Culum.

I think a few of us arent so far apart.

But yeah scrubbing works. Don’t know specifics but basically all the Rob Judge stuff is gone. Just a few things left.

j
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j
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Don’t know how to use Google lol?

https://www.instagram.com/robjudge/

https://robjudge.net/

Sentient
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Sentient
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Actually I do, which is why I know none of the things I’m referring to are in your links.

Dipshit.

Rc
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Rc
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Hi all, a progress report with a question about it. sorry it’s so long, I think some background on these days is necessary. So for VD she did quite a few things (baked a cake, set a heart shaped decoration on the table, slipped me a card under the door… ); I acknowledged to her and the kids but but didn’t reciprocate individually. The night I initiated but was given the could shoulder. I STFU. The evening after she was quite visibly upset. While she was cooking, I fixed some appetizers, poured both a glass of wine, and said “happy… Read more »

j
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“At some point she goes along the lines of “you are no longer what you used to be, you don’t care anymore etc” […] “otherwise I’ll divorce” “Early afternoon, kids are napping. I give her a little kiss on the back of the neck; she says, can I do groceries? I simply say no, and then she initiates. I forgot the last time she did this in an afternoon” “At that point I replied “ooooooh”, as you would do to a kid making an empty threat, scooped a piece of brie with my finger, and chased her around the house… Read more »

Rc
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That was really weird to say though”

why?

Because kids were at the table

SJF
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Rc Sounds like a pretty good red pill performance by you. If you can read her play-script, she was following the script in that link I had posted earlier. Practical Female Psychology by J.W. South, et. al. from reddit: The Female Stages of Manipulation. Testing the Male: Giving you the cold shoulder for initiating on Valentines day. Mere Shit test for not getting her, or giving her lots of stuff and kissing her ass on Valentines. Seeking Communication: “..you are no longer what you used to be, you don’t care anymore etc”. She was sad saying this.” Mere bid for… Read more »

j
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j
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“Because kids were at the table”

Good. So they get to see first hand, the outcome of not taking a woman seriously.

Great parenting 👍👍👍

EhIntellect
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Rc, You’re emotionally mysterious, dismissive of her petty power games, you are generally happy with you, not acting butthurt, you’re not fixing her problems and forcing her into an emotional rollercoaster. You are leading her. She wants to be led without telling you to. You see something IRT that she doesn’t or can’t. She is simply not hardwired for visionary family leadership. She is behaving on instinct, not reason. All this is for both your benefit. She doesn’t realize it yet. You’re getting this. Nice. She rewards your leadership with the only real leverage she has in the relationship: Sex.… Read more »

EhIntellect
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“Because kids were at the table” Rc, She’s weaponizing the children against you. She’s using the kids as human shields against you, subduing you, rejecting her, telling her no. “He wouldn’t actually be that mean in front of the kids.” She doesn’t believe this STFU Rc will carry out his silent treatment. She’ll draw you down, down, down into dinner table arguments if you get emotional. Don’t fall for it. She’ll openly question your authority in front of the kids. She’ll ask for help disciplining the kids then get mad at you by claiming you’re too harsh/not harsh enough/not respected…..and… Read more »

SJF
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Rc There is an hour video of Rian Stone from MRP reddit just released to the public by The 21Convention. Rian spent a couple years moderating that reddit forum which gave him reference experiences from thousands of men commenting. He distilled all the side bar book readings and boiled his presentation down to it’s essence. It’s powerful because it is distilled from a multitude of sources. Give it a listen or a watch. Use some bluetooth earbuds and listen to it while your wife is watching bad TV shows, in bed at night-time when she turns you down and you… Read more »

EhIntellect
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A little song to whistle while you work….

Where do we go from here now that all other children are growin’ up
And how do we spend our lives if there’s no-one to lend us a hand

I don’t want to live here no more,
I don’t want to stay
Ain’t gonna spend the rest of my life,
Quietly fading away

Games people play,
You take take it or you leave it
Things that they say,
Honor Brite
If I promise you the Moon and the Stars,
Would you believe it
Games people play in the middle of the night

wahoo Mcdaniels
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Rc I like it when the customer complains about the price,this means they expect to pay me. The ones that agree to easy then want credit later. She may be checking your investment commitment for long term strategy. This is a dual negotiation part control grab for the sex and part long term sales strategy,if she can get you to argue about two years down the road her frame is set for two years and you’re in her wheel house. Good move with the brie, you may play for keeps,she is always just playing you because of this so play… Read more »

palmasailor
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@Rc

I’m so glad you chased her round the house with the Brie on your finger..

Was that the first time you’ve done it / similar?

Could escalate that by trying to get her on the nose / face with it. Also don’t miss the opportunity to push her against the wall for the make out. (Might be awkward to escalate to sex with the kids there?)

Don’t forget to flick wine at her.. that’s another of my go to piss takes that goes well

palmasailor
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palmasailor
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^^ flick HER wine, not your wine / drink – obviously!

palmasailor
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@Rc Others have picked up,on different parts of this better than me including the 10 year anniversary shit test. Wahoo is correct in that if you play this game it will “lock you in her wheelhouse” for the next two years of ever increasing expectations, what he hasn’t said is her legs will shut. But they will. Various tactics, either flip the script – laughing – but go along the lines you’re gonna divorce her before then anyway on the grounds of mental cruelty – her “mental cruelty?” You – “yer, your shit underwear is causing me mental damage” go… Read more »

palmasailor
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@Rc I’m getting a clearer view of this over coffee. “That was really weird to say though, especially with the kids at the table.” She’s “stooging” that is use them as moral support to lever emotional blackmail on you. My ex used to do it. When she hit a hard no on some shit she wanted to buy she’d say “Alfie needs it”. I folded until I realised what was going on. In your case she’s relying on the shaming in front of the kids. Expect her to escalate this with her using them and other friends in social environments… Read more »

EhIntellect
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“Wahoo is correct in that if you play this game it will “lock you in her wheelhouse”” I respectfully disagree. Rc is not locked into anything, ever. He can and must at-will re-negotiate any part of his relationship at any time he sees fit. He’s allowed to agree then hypocritically reverse himself. He’s allowed to change his mind. The standards of marriage and hypocrisy are set by people who have no interest in Rc, masculinity and men in general. So, again, IMHO, those people and their standards can go fuck off. She’ll call foul as she doesn’t understand the new… Read more »

wahoo Mcdaniels
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Her effort for control two years down the road is a game most likely played for multiple reasons-prizes;status,sustenance,protection and shit test. This is normal behavior in this situ she is trying to lock up or nail down what is happening,this isn’t in her best interest rather the extinction burst Palma was reffering to. As things are in constant flux she can never lock it up or nail it down,on the other hand if he gets involved in the conflict instead of assuming the win, he will fall into her frame and could remain there indefinitely. Don’t mismisunderstand me.LOL

Sentient
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RC So for VD she did quite a few things (baked a cake, set a heart shaped decoration on the table, slipped me a card under the door… ); I acknowledged to her and the kids but but didn’t reciprocate individually. The night I initiated but was given the could shoulder. I STFU. Test Passed I try to follow be attractive or STFU. I reply that nothing has changed for me but I don’t want to give the list of the things I did or tried to do. After she keeps pushing, I say, this time a bit more upset,… Read more »

theasdgamer
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@wahoo

Don’t mismisunderstand me.LOL

+1 Maybe EI was fleshing out an alternative, which you clarified and the entire interaction is educational for the readers.

SIL has been giving more comfort lately, which has made DG more accepting of him occasionally, yet he is still a dumbfuck and fails to understand that he needs to be able to read DG’s signals better and pass her comfort tests, which he fails intermittently. SIL has no clue that comfort tests even exist. DG sees him as a dumbfuck and isn’t ready to go back to him.

theasdgamer
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@SJF

Reading “The Art of Seduction” is interesting in terms of evaluating your own game and personality. I also found it interesting to compare to PUA game (a la “Mystery Method”). Mystery’s wisdom is more complete, but TAoS is still worth reading just to help with calibration skills so that you can identify game that others are using (in all of real life, not just bars). I’m still reading it.

EhIntellect
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@ wahoo

All good. I agree with you. Context matters. Rc has been performing well.

EhIntellect
Guest

RC,

Question for you: Has your wife ever known or recognized you as Alpha? IOW, has she ever long-term willingly submitted to your household leadership, in and out of bed?

wahoo Mcdaniels
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@Eh

You are a TRM inspiration,a quick study. Rc is doing great as well.

@asd

The scary part is SIL was her best first choice at the time. The SM looks like the pasta shelve at walmart FCOL.

SJF
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I had read most of The Art of Seduction, but it bored me at times and I didn’t really resonate with any of the archetypes. It is definitely is helpful at recognizing the archetypes that use seduction games on you, e.g. wife. But by that token, I didn’t find my wife’s archetype among the types either, i.e. high self esteem, attractive, ENFP (the campaigner), free spirit, life of the party, interested in enjoying the social and emotional connections they make with others, charming, independent, energetic and compassionate.

Definitely well worth the read and extracting awareness as needed.

SJF
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“There’s no reason to hold Rc to some contractual standard where there is none. OK…pillow talk kinda agree to a $10000 whirlwind anniversary trip. Then completely disregard it, 5 minutes later after the bang. Who gives a shit about something 2 years…2 YEARS!…ahead of time that probably would happen after the divorce. She might negotiate that into the divorce settlement. What a kick to the teeth.” It is a very common thing these days for women in the female social matrix (crab bucket) including IRL and on television shows to FEEL that destination vacations are valuable and filling. We all… Read more »

theasdgamer
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@wahoo The scary part is SIL was her best first choice at the time. Not scary. I was realistic (Red Pilled). DG was naive and insecure at the time and had virtually no experience at relationships despite being over 30. 1) waited too long because she was focused on her education/career 2) thought that being pretty was enough despite being old 3) let herself get overweight (big problem if she wants a better prospect!) 4) even with these problems, DG undervalued herself and overvalued SIL (he had traveled to a lot of foreign countries…was somewhat handsome…was a Christian…had never kissed… Read more »

Sentient
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Sentient
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ASD

I wasn’t gonna get in the way of a sperm donor since I wanted grandkids

Retarded. You and the LDS failed. and this is not RP.

theasdgamer
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Sentient, you aren’t paying attention.

kfg
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kfg
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“I wasn’t gonna get in the way of a sperm donor since I wanted grandkids”

You succeeded. Let the poor bastard move on.

EhIntellect
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ASD “she was in love with me even though she broke up.” Man….you’re killing me. Where’s that “Thou shall not fuck thy 19 y.o. gf” commandment again? Christianity has little to do with “not fucking”. Your version of it reads a lot to do with misplaced, guilt-driven sanctimony. It’s all over your description of your nigh-angelic daughter, too. Holy buffers! I don’t know how to say this lightly but… you’re acting rather Captain Save-A-Ho with you’re daughter…to everyone’s disadvantage. And…fyi….you’re not that much older than a lot of people here, as if that matters. That’s an emotional dodge of reality… Read more »

EhIntellect
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“For now, the couple are seeing a church counselor who is really aiming at reconciliation.”

Really aiming? Is that better than aiming alone? You know ASD, ProTip…counselors don’t tell you that their not aiming at anything. It’s a sham. Telling you that isn’t good for business. They put a relationship through an algorithm process and at some point wash their hands of it all calling it success.

We all know where this’ll end.

ASD can claim he tried his best and after the split and raise his granddaughter (kinda) and fuck her up worse than he did his own daughter.

Sunrise, sunset.

theasdgamer
Guest

Christianity has little to do with “not fucking”. Your version of it reads a lot to do with misplaced, guilt-driven sanctimony. It’s all over your description of your nigh-angelic daughter, too. Holy buffers! Yeah, that happened back when I was Red Pill. EI, sometimes you’re just fucking retarded, lol. I’m not saying that I did right. Of course I was being a Blue Pilled boy scout. I’m amazed that my gf put up with it for so long, lol. But the point is that I learned a lot about relationships from that experience and that put me way ahead of… Read more »

theasdgamer
Guest

Really aiming? Is that better than aiming alone? You know ASD, ProTip…counselors don’t tell you that their not aiming at anything. It’s a sham. Telling you that isn’t good for business. And if the church counselor is doing it pro bono? They put a relationship through an algorithm process and at some point wash their hands of it all calling it success. We all know where this’ll end. Probably where my relationship with Mrs. Gamer ended after we initially separated many moons ago. ASD can claim he tried his best and after the split and raise his granddaughter (kinda) and… Read more »

j
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j
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“1) waited too long because she was focused on her education/career
2) thought that being pretty was enough despite being old
3) let herself get overweight”

http://www.quickmeme.com/img/a5/a5fb8a7073fb647903235a44958439d912bd9cb7f3d07a5169844f99fd3c30a1.jpg

lol @ letting ur daughter fall for the “career girl meme”

theasdgamer
Guest

“I wasn’t gonna get in the way of a sperm donor since I wanted grandkids”

You succeeded. Let the poor bastard move on.

It’s not up to me. The poor bastard doesn’t want to move on. Nor does DG want to call it quits.

theasdgamer
Guest

lol @ letting ur daughter fall for the “career girl meme”

…way before Rollo started writing…2nd wave feminism wasn’t even being questioned back then…

…this is what happens when you haven’t walked in someone else’s shoes and you try to give them advice…

…wahoo gives the best advice of anyone here for my situation…

wahoo Mcdaniels
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I got no advice but I like this guys. On Children Kahlil Gibran Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them,… Read more »

Rc
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Hey thank you all, great insights as usual. I’ll try to reply to various points if I have useful things to say. @palma I got the idea of chasing her from your earlier post, so thanks. I did stick the Brie on her nose. @ehintellect Don’t know what qualifies so I’ll tell you my best shot. Maybe you can tell me what you read into this. Two years into our relationship (weren’t married) I got the opportunity to move to the US – that’s a long way from where we’re from. She resigned from the first long term contract she… Read more »

Sentient
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ASD

the point is that I learned a lot about relationships from that experience and that put me way ahead of my SIL..

If this were true, you would’ve known that he and she were going to be a fantastic cluster fuck… Right?

EhIntellect
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“Yeah, I’m not blindly following the “Red Pill” script that troubles in a marriage are always a woman’s fault. ”

Another dodge. No one, not a soul, is taking shots at your daughter here.

having a bad day
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@Culum

that hooking up smart article reads like a TRM RP exam question…lol

good luck!

EhIntellect
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Rc,

Her following you isn’t nothing but I was getting at more rudimentary feminine behaviors that reinforced your dominance in and out of the bedroom.

Alpha leadership @ home….

She defers to your decision making. She makes requests and accepts your decisions. She serves you kindly and joyfully as being married to you is a privilege. She submits to your sexual advances as she finds you sexually desirable because she wants to fuck you qua you not your bank account or your stabilizing influence.

Has she ever done any of this for you in your relationship long term i.e. a couple years?

having a bad day
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@Rc

Thoughts on what’s going on?

you’re doing great!… and getting great advice… just keep doing what you’re doing…

good luck!

EhIntellect
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Rc,

There’s a chance she followed your rising star of BB, not necessarily your Alpha dominance.

Smart girls play long game.

EhIntellect
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“You seem to have access to magic”

Yeah. It’s called sticking to the script.

having a bad day
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@theasdgamer How so? By giving DG a safe place to land when her husband is undermining her health and employment and he’s too much of a fool to realize it? When my SIL doesn’t value my advice? are you still kicking him in the head?… cuz THAT is less than optimal…lol… subcomms count, yo!…lol and if SIL is even half as ‘bad’ as you are portraying, even a NT would have some issues with changing direction in approaching the situ… much less a dude on the spectrum… but… you DO have enough social intelligence to actually pull that off… it… Read more »

Blaximus
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Yep.

Rc
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@ehIntellect

She probably did that the first two years we were together – but we weren’t married.

I think sex was the first thing that started to fade – because of me being beta, I see now. The first two things you lost she still does, but I see that this is not a checklist, and the spirit of things is definitely not what you describe. Anyway, up to me.

EhIntellect
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Rc,

The reason I asked is this: if she never saw you as Alpha, she probably never will.

Sounds like you were Alpha (that’s good) and slid beta quickly while dating, she accepted you as a reliable safety net.

The low sex thing…how many years has sex been unsatisfactory?

Rc
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@ehintellect, things were never that good while married, so that’s about 7 years, but some of the years earlier were also pretty gray – I just came to the realization way later.

EhIntellect
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Well then. You should be well rested for a good fuck fest.

1) Keep the shit tests flying. You’ve shown skill there, leverage it for your libido.

2) Consider ghosting her for a couple evenings. She’s not allowed to know what your up to. Sentient wrote about this. There’s no faster way to throw her hamster into high gear and solicit shit tests to pass.

3) This is akin to ripping off a bandaid. The faster, the better.

Anonymous Reader
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@Rc

Tangential questions that key off of EhIntellect’s “did she ever see you as Alpha” question.

Two kids, right? Looking in the rearview mirror can you see any changes that happened in her behavior after they were born? Could be “after the first” or “after the second” etc.

How old was she when you first got together, how old when you married?

EhIntellect
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Rc, You’re dealing with this, FYI, at a critical time interval in your marriage. 7 years. “In the 1920s, the average length of a marriage that ended in divorce was 6.6 years. In 1974 it was 7.5 years; in 1990 it was 7.2 years. Today, the average length of a marriage that ends in divorce is eight years, according to several estimates, but that extra year may be due to the fact that the average divorce now takes one year to process and clear the legal system.” The fuckery you will experience now will save you and your wife…and your… Read more »

theasdgamer
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@Sentient If this were true, you would’ve known that he and she were going to be a fantastic cluster fuck… Right? If I had been able to see into the future, then I would have known in the past. I found out a couple of months ago. Of course, during the wedding two years ago, the groom boasted about never having kissed a girl. That’s the first time I knew that it would be a cluster fuck. Of course, the horse was out of the barn at that point and what were my options if I wanted grandkids with DG… Read more »

EhIntellect
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Rc,

An inspiration when things get hairy…..

EhIntellect
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“Today SIL played the blame game at the session, with predictable results.” Really? Pot meet kettle. This is why my undies get in such a bundle. You post comments as a Grand Chessmaster Patriarch masterfully moving your pieces around. People tell you you’re losing control of the situ. That’s creates dissonance so…..you then blame the pieces aren’t working for you and then punish the pieces by creating battles between them all the while cat’s paw’s and scapegoats abound. Your patriarchy is a complete mess but your pride is more important ATM. You know, pride? Is that limitation foreign to you?… Read more »

Rc
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@anonymous reader, we’ve been together a long time, seventeen years. She was 24 when we got together. I think the situation became pretty clear right after the first kid but I remember clearly the unease of the situation before that (does that tell you anything in particular?) Using the timeline I’ve read above, I’m in for a 1-1.5 year trip. Still worth it though.

Rc
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@palma (and anybody!)

Expect her to escalate this with her using them and other friends in social environments as unwitting stooges : reinforcement.

How would I deal with the D word being thrown out in presence of mutual and not super-close friends? The brie thing is gonna be too much, but I can’t pass that test with STFU because – it seems to me – the test is in my reaction when others are present.

Anonymous Reader
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@EhIntellect:
Got link for that 7 / 10 / 20 year divorce event sequence?

j
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palmasailor
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@Rc You know what, Sentient picked up on the divorce thing and it’s worrying you but it was so far off my radar as being a real threat that it didn’t even register in my previous replies. Initial thoughts If it does you handle it with “amused mastery” – laugh it off. (Reduce to absurdity) or agree and amplify. If this one is pulled on you publicly I’d try to avoid STFU. Her (in mixed company) : “I’m gonna Divorce him if he doesn’t take me to xyz for our anniversary” You (to one of the other men / women)… Read more »

SJF
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“How would I deal with the D word being thrown out in presence of mutual and not super-close friends? It’s just another shit test thrown out there. Just deal with it in real time the best you can. You will study and be able to pass and use the shit tests to your advantage over time. Quick question. How does it make you feel Rc, that it might take 18 months to right the ship you are going to captain? Do you feel urgency? What if Sentient or EhIntellect told you to do it faster by flipping the switch and… Read more »

EhIntellect
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theasdgamer
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People tell you you’re losing control of the situ. I never ever had control of the situ. You are confused. Your patriarchy is a complete mess Well, duh. I said that I started on the one yard line…that was five years ago and DG was out of the house and I only saw her occasionally and I didn’t start gaming her until two years ago after I had figured out how to game Mrs. Gamer. DG didn’t used to listen to me back then and didn’t even want hugs. That has changed. Progress. I have another child whom Mrs. Gamer… Read more »

EhIntellect
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Rc,

Hey man….

“How would I deal with the D word”

It’s part of the reconstruction. You must kill the fear of divorcing her, the loss,the heartbreak all that shit that you value so much to gain autonomy back to the authentic, passionate, dynamic you. Perhaps a man you’ve never known.

Can you stomach this shit? Are you going wobbly with vain hypotheticals already? Well fuck me. Live the day for Christ’s sake.

You must die so you can live.

Kill the beta.

EhIntellect
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“figure out how to game him”

Figure out how to game ASD and find peace of mind for starters. No joke. Heal thyself.

theasdgamer
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@Rc

How would I deal with the D word being thrown out in presence of mutual and not super-close friends?

Here’s my thought:

She: I’m not sure if we’re headed for a divorce.

Rc: No way, Honey. But I might end up a widower with a young gf if you stroke out from worrying about it, you silly girl. [smirk as you hold her gaze]

This is light and will reassure her that you want to avoid divorce and will allow you to enforce your boundaries in a humorous, dominant way that demonstrates confidence and value. It’s suitable for casual friends.

EhIntellect
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“you want to avoid divorce”

That’s beta supplication. No joke. It’s in her frame. She’s in control.

Me?

“Fuck yeah babe! It’s been a bitch philandering with your anchor around my neck.”

wahoo Mcdaniels
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@Rc You can’t be threatened by divorce,you actually need to embrace it in your mind. Not openly,rather come to accept the caveman mentality that you can have many caves full of your women and children to feed and protect and cultivate as the need arises. Whatever it takes to break your mental attachment of desperate need. Read and understand this fully. https://therationalmale.com/2017/02/03/the-reconstruction-iv/ “Thus, it is important to zero everything out and treat your old wife as a new prospective woman. This perspective may mean she becomes someone not worth your effort, but it might also mean she likes the prospect… Read more »

Testi
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Testi
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I agree.

Sentient
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ASD

” I have another child whom Mrs. Gamer drove off and recovering her will take some game. “

The plot thickens…

You have to start of being honest with yourself and hold yourself accountable.

That’s what’s missing from your story.

IDR you ever mentioning this “new” child?

Wonder why that is???

Sentient
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ASD

If this were true, you would’ve known that he and she were going to be a fantastic cluster fuck… Right?

If I had been able to see into the future, then I would have known in the past. I found out a couple of months ago.

Why dissemble to yourself?

My response was to your proffer of superior “relationships” experience:

ASD:“the point is that I learned a lot about relationships from that experience and that put me way ahead of my SIL.”

Which btw you spelled “relationship” wrong.

Sentient
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RC

How would I deal with the D word being thrown out in presence of mutual and not super-close friends?

You:”Yeah… I’m guessing my next wife is thinking about the junior prom about now.”

Also if this is a real concern… you might try getting ahead of it. Great fun to introduce her to a newish group as your “first wife”…

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