For the past three years of The Rational Male there’s been a consistent presence in the comment threads of guys seeking advice for particular situations with regards to Game. Whether it’s fine tuning certain aspects of Game or a larger consensus of the guys participating in my comment threads it’s become obvious there’s a need for a dedicated page and comment thread to address these Field Reports.
So I’m instituting this page for exactly this. If there is some urgency to have members of The Rational Male community analyze your particular situation feel free to hit anyone up in the comments of my current post, but please refer them to your particular field report with a link to your comment here. I’m hoping this will alleviate the mass of posts for field report analysis and Game specific insights piled into the main blog post for any given week.
There will be some rules for this “forum” as such. I ask that you only keep your comments to addressing the field reports at hand and save your larger theoretical stuff for the main posts, or if relevant, keep the “bigger scope of things” posts to being as succinct as possible. There will be no moderation in this comment thread (spamming excepted), so realize it will be a very hot kitchen before you post. I will impose no restrictions on video links here, nor will I limit links to various, but pertinent articles.
Understand, this is an experiment for now. It’s likely this comment thread will exceed thousands of comments. I’ll be instituting new comment plug-ins for wordpress to deal with this in the future, but I may archive this page the the posts and refresh this page in the future as well. If this gets cumbersome I may simply institute a dedicated forum-style sub-site of The Rational Male to accommodate for Game specific questions.
So have at it, post your field reports and feel free to comment on the ones you have some particular insight for. Be forewarned that it’s likely things may get a bit salty at times and I expect a lot of back & forth with debate and disagreements, but that’s what this thread is for – to hash out Game particulars for your given situations.
Waking the fuck up after all the kids move out and everything is paid off, I am lucky but if having all the cool shit means I am inhibited from having fun by the fear of losing it then what is the goal in keeping it just to get smaller and more confined? Alpha doesn’t worry about stupid shit and hypergamy isn’t aware of what he worrys about only that inhibition isn’t alpha. No man wants to lose the shit he worked a lifetime for over some snatch,but if he’s worried about it he will lose his shit and his… Read more »
@ stuff A few words, for what it’s worth. I’ve stated in these comments over several years that I really do love my wife. I have zero intention of banging a random broad while my marriage is satisfactory. That only has to do with who I am. I never feel like I’m ” missing ” something by being married and conditionally faithful. I talk to, flirt with, hit on women every chance I get ( meaning daily in most cases ). Why bother? Well, I agree with what HABD said – ” this concept is the FI pushing on both… Read more »
“each man has to define his own brand of alpha; I read and try to understand everything on this site, including all the commenters for the sole reason of improving myself; but do I want to be or become any of you fuckers? hell no, I just want to get the parts I like and leave the rest so I can work on DR ZIPPER Brand Alpha”
Lol and back to the everyone defining their own ideal version of alpha so you can all be super alpha studgawds while ignoring the objective reality of what Alpha is.
right Mersonia, let’s stick to yours…. which is?
@Blaxi I think the same,after the big boom and spending years in the trenches with the guys,I found myself out of touch with current social game ,trends ect, and wondering why chicks stopped knocking my door down and if they ever would again. Between the whitewalls gray beard and love handles , at 56 (57 in 4 mo) do I still have it? Hell yes! I do a lot of hotsprings and have had many experiences from being accused of lechin by an ugly feminist to being invited to a bachelorette party by four twenty yearolds. Always enjoy light banter… Read more »
shit, I fed the troll; sorry to encourage him fellas; still kinda funny imagining some dude(?) studiously poring over each post looking to be intentionally obtuse
just picture that in your head for a moment…. and ask, is he alpha?
“…. while ignoring the objective reality of what Alpha is.” Hahah, I see what you did there: you went “back to You defining their own ideal version of alpha so you can call others out for not being super alpha studgawds”. Alpha as an object? Really? False premises need to be called out. Some of us are not calling ourselves Alpha Stud Gods. But have agency with Red Pill Alpha traits. Dr. Zipper defines his purpose and mission as his own. Stuffinbox is accurately dismissing Mersonia as crying sour grapes for “the elders” dissing. A guy gets to where he… Read more »
Rollo, don’t know where else to post this…. over the last week-ish, sometimes the links on the right side Recent Comments bar don’t actually take you to the comment; for example, the current links have “Rollo Tomassi on Pat….” and the comment is actually on pg 5 of that post’s comments, but the link seems to take you to pg 4 and since that comment isn’t on that page, it can’t scroll to find it for you sometimes the links do work, though, seems random I checked this from a Windows 7 machine with both Chrome (59.0.3071.115 ) and IE… Read more »
@Rollo and @Dr Zipper: the “point to previous page” thing when clicking on the recent comments is not new, I think I’ve had it since I started commenting. When it happens, I just click “Newer comments” and then zip to the end of the last page so it isn’t too annoying. It is worse when there isn’t even a recent comment on the FR section. What I’d really like is to go to the newest comments when clicking any of the articles. For regular commenters that is much more useful than starting from the oldest comments by default. I even… Read more »
“the objective reality of what Alpha is”
Have to agree at least with the sentiment of this. There is an irreducible kernal of “what alpha is”… My theorizing and observation brought it down to the Alpha Triad traits – dynamic, passionate and authentic. The rest is ornamentation.
“the objective reality of what Alpha is” Have to agree at least with the sentiment of this. There is an irreducible kernal of “what alpha is”… My theorizing and observation brought it down to the Alpha Triad traits – dynamic, passionate and authentic. The rest is ornamentation. That’s funny right there. Because I doubt Mersonia meant it that way. (I think he’s just being a Dick.) I mean even Lionel Dobie looks like a confused Beta but he isn’t. Even I look like a confused Beta at times with a +3 SMV attractive wife, but you can’t describe me as… Read more »
@dr zipper habd – sure, if the goal is to use the opportunity to gin his wife up… that’s a good way to use the situation to his advantage and your advice is right on; can there be no other possible ‘goal’?… lol what if this is not an ‘opportunity’ but instead just a normal everyday occurrence in your life?… in other words, what does that average alpha stud experience everyday ‘in the wild’?… does george clooney bang every girl that throws herself at him?…lol whose frame is that idea (opportunity/gin his wife up/use the situation to his advantage/etc) in?…… Read more »
no one’s said there aren’t some elementals to whatever ‘alpha’ is or isn’t; Sentient proffers a good cheat sheet to refer back to when in need with the DPA concept and has even given many examples of men who may at first glance not seem ‘alpha’ (but qualify via their DPA aspects) — see the wispy artiste types slaying it at the risk of being pedantic pussy, I wouldn’t call the rest ornamentation but more like customization of the DPA concept to the man; I can go get a sport jacket off the rack and wear it, but it ain’t… Read more »
ok, habd, don’t think we’re in any disagreement here except over who’s metaphors and analogies are the coolest, so obviously I win lol
and truly, your method of pointing out potential weak spots in my (anyone’s) line of thinking is appreciated for its intellectual honesty and gentle hand; it’s not some cruel slapdown or vague riddle that makes an already difficult task even harder
FR A while back I started dancing at a new venue and caught solid EC from an HB6 there. As is my typical MO I danced with other available girls then approached her for a dance and we had a good time. Over the course of the night we chat a bit to get to know each other and I find out a couple of things that are turn offs but we end up dancing a couple more times as the night winds down. After the last dance we exchange pleasantries and I leave to go home as the night… Read more »
CI – use her to experiment on, ya know, lab rats and all lol
try something out you’ve never done before or feel uncomfortable doing; your attitude of ZFG with this girl can likely work to your favor and help put another piece of the puzzle in place for you
Just dropping quickly to say amen to dr zipper re HABD’s contributions. Glad you’re back to posting a bit more now.
I am always overwhelmed with work for a while after a Blitz because everything I postponed during the Blitz comes back to bite me on the ass, so only been glancing in here from time to time but looks like lots of FRs and action which is great.
Good FR, @Catch
Catchers
“as I would be embarrassed to be associated with her and her tantrums.”
Just remember she may not act this way around high value guys who don’t appreciate this behavior… Extrapolate the concept.
This is what taming and training is all about.
“There is an irreducible kernal of “what alpha is”… My theorizing and observation brought it down to the Alpha Triad traits – dynamic, passionate and authentic. The rest is ornamentation.”
Not exactly what I was going for …..but better than anything else I’m going to get on this forum ..even if it there are tons of passionate authentic dynamic betas
Palma
Depends i guess on whether the other chaps were too timid to approach or not.
https://www.reddit.com/r/stupidslutsclub/
Found this while browsing r/TheRedPill. Looks like a Field Report subreddit for sluts lol
“Not exactly what I was going for …..but better than anything else I’m going to get on this forum ..even if it there are tons of passionate authentic dynamic betas…”
You get what you give among a group in a male space. So don’t be such a dick with merely snark. And your merit will rise accordingly. And possibly you’ll get something back.
I’ve read text game on heartiste and next ASF and fundamentally I understand that “less is more” however I’d be interested to see how you’d play this if at all. When making plans last weekend I violated a cardinal rule of texting back too quickly if I’m overanalyzing but sent something funny and she left me hanging for 24hrs. Her next text mid-day the next day: “What song are you listening to a lot lately?” I read between the lines and based upon previous conversations infer that she’s probing my emotional state / mood / etc. and respond about an… Read more »
you’re a patient man, SJF there’s a kid in my son’s elementary class, smart kid, but from a broken home (father in prison, etc) and being raised by his grandmother so every so often I go have lunch with my son at school and since I know this kid’s story, let him eat with us; can’t help but feel for him, much of his situation was like mine as a child; the kid is ALWAYS trying to engage me, in the halls, in the class, anytime I’m visiting…. like a starving dog eyeing some scraps just out of reach I… Read more »
“..even if it there are tons of passionate authentic dynamic betas”
Who trigger attraction when they demonstrate alpha via the Triad… And kill it when they act beta.
Alpha is not some one and done certificate of completion… The Arbiter tests moment by moment…
Catchers
“I read between the lines and based upon previous conversations infer that she’s probing my emotional state / mood / etc. and respond about an hour later during a break from work with a youtube link to a song.”
this is not playimg the game better… This is YOU jumping through her compliance hoop… See how that works?
So… Now silence.
Then in a few days if you want to reengage try something like…
“Holy shit”
And wait and see what she does… If she responds within at most 15 minutes try
“I was walking by a mirror earlier and… I cannot believe how fucking amazing I am…”
“God damn!!”
If it’s longer ignore her response or “wrong number”… And wait for her to open you.
“you’re a patient man, SJF Not hardly Dr. Z. I don’t suffer fools gladly. (Did I mention Mersonia is a dick in Comments? I surely meant to.) I’m very judgmental. But I know myself. And I don’t align myself with such. It serves no purpose. A couple years ago in my Red Pill Reconstruction, I looked to my right and to my left in my life. In my family, relationships, employees, and friends. And I didn’t see any unhappy and unlucky people around me. (It wasn’t actually the result of Red Pill and Game, it was a natural tendency of… Read more »
SJF – I imagine the kid’s grandmother either doesn’t have or can’t enforce boundaries and rules… I also know there’s a bigger brother in the picture somewhere and just as fucked up; whole thing’s a mess and I’m gonna just let this one work itself out w/out getting involved, got my own shit to do
your cited post has some good ideas on developing a mentoring situation, will take big chunks of that as mine lol
but I didn’t get the connection w/ troll boy so I still think you’re suffering at least one fool gladly lol
@Catchers – the Heartiste text game advice is generally fine, but the best text stuff I’ve seen is YaReally’s older stuff (until he stopped prioritizing it because girls get so many texts etc). Among others see his posts in late 2014 or 2015 in the archive to a guy called (I think) “Reco” about text game. Also see the subcategory in YaReally Archive about the Heartiste poster called “Ripp” – also good stuff on text game. Sentient’s spot on of course, but just remember it’s not automatically bad to answer her questions or engage with her. It’s just that in… Read more »
@ Dr. Z ” I’m gonna just let this one work itself out w/out getting involved, got my own shit to do your cited post has some good ideas on developing a mentoring situation, will take big chunks of that as mine lol” Just for the record, I’m not condoning you looking out for the little shitlord friend of your son. I endorse you not spending your precious time. The mentee has to be worthy of mentoring. I do endorse your son understanding and realizing what it means to suck up to guys (like you perhaps) that are actually good… Read more »
https://www.reddit.com/r/stupidslutsclub/comments/6mqwhj/balancing_slut_life_with_real_life/ Post wall slut’s advice to a 19 year old student riding the cock carousal thinking about dropping out of school: “Later on, guys will find you fucking sexy for being smart and in a position of power. We had 3 female professors (doctors, at that) in our engineering department… the guys drooled over all of them. All I could think was “I want that. I want guys to crave me like that.” I used it as motivation. It’s the small things that work the best sometimes. – and before I know it men won’t be as excited to have… Read more »
http://m.memegen.com/ylozva.jpg
@j – that Reddit sub is a real find. RP confirmation on so many levels.
What I found most interesting was actually the intro to the sub on the sidebar and the warning to men about participation.
They may as well have said “thirsty betas are welcome here to validate us and give us attention but don’t even think about hitting on us or trying to get with us – we may enjoy doing slutty things but only with alphas who give us tingles”
@Culum Struan fwiw here is how I generally do text game currently: [1] rsdtodd’s 4 types of texts: Based on the social capital you have you’ll get 4 responses: silence<shit test<logical information/question<positive. I reply with: silence= increase your "social bank account," send something that doesn't require value, like you are making a facebook/insta post. Obviously, if you have insta/snapchat instead of number is better here. shit test=ONLY PASS the shit-test, don't add escalation or anything else with your response logical question/information=briefly answer the logical part, and tease/flirt, or if you've already had a positive interaction so far, start making plans(soft… Read more »
@Anon01 – that seems like a good system – I’ll look into it a bit more. I don’t really use a “system” as such. About 2-3 years ago when I was doing almost exclusively online dating, I just read a ton of YaReally’s stuff and some other bits and pieces about texting and went on a major streak. Because I spend the majority of my time in a small town with limited gaming opportunities I just did a lot of online dating and got a lot of numbers (hundreds) (even in other cities etc) and spent a huge amount of… Read more »
“Law #10 Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.” This has come up here before already, but isn’t it too harsh? I have shared some of my worries regarding girls with trusted friends; should they cut me off because of my unhappiness? I am not really saying it… Read more »
*In other news
OC – forget *everybody*
what do *YOU* want to do?
btw, good work on getting out and DOING
not that I’m some kind of expert, just a bit further along the path perhaps; action is where I got most of my gains, by far
@palmasailor Good one with the joke mission for your teenager, I’ll try it. I challenge my son in a similar way. But because he’s half your son’s age, he’s not really interested for the same reasons, so approaches mainly when he wants something from me in the first place. I just throw him a curved ball to do something ballsy. More often it’s me opening girls and including him in the conversation. 6-9 months back we go swimming and the girl selling tickets asks for the age. I reply: I’m 9 and he’s 2, should go free. He says not… Read more »
IRL – I know exactly what you’re talking about, it’s pure fucking joy to see my own son excelling, especially in areas where I was weaker at his age, or even now lol gave my boy some RP at the restaurant at lunch today; young cute waitress there who has flirted with him before (age appropriate) has a Boba Fett tattoo on her arm; shoulda seen his face when he first saw that 😉 I said, “now if this were a girl you’re interested in, you might gently take her arm with one hand and point at the tattoo with… Read more »
@Oscar C “Everybody is telling me I am crazy to go for such a young girl, eleven years my junior. I guess some conventions are the same all around the world.” First of all make sure she is actually 17 and not 15. If a chick looks older than she really is, likes you, and knows the age of consent in Spain is 16, she won’t hesitate to lie. (from wiki: “The age of consent in Spain is 16, under a new law which came into effect on 1 July 2015[Spanish Criminal Code Article 183],” “The age of consent rises… Read more »
@Oscar: “This has come up here before already, but isn’t it too harsh? I have shared some of my worries regarding girls with trusted friends; should they cut me off because of my unhappiness?” The premise cannot be true because it would apply to me. It is best to avoid people who use that particular line of non-reasoning. They’ll just drag you down into the bucket. The correct response is “Oh. Shit. That applies to me. Looks like I have some work to do.” Bear in mind, however, that the Rules of Power are not to be taken over literally.… Read more »
He’s been mentioned a few times of late. Can anyone explain what the hell is wrong with George Clooney? After being a model for men who wish to live the bachelor lifestyle, not marry or have children, he decides to marry an attractive but post wall 39 year old foreign career woman, and then at 56 decides to become a father. Is it just virtue signalling? Is he just a very rich and successful blue pill chump?
If you read the celeb gossip sites (which I do sometimes), Clooney is rumoured to be asexual and just not that into sex (not gay necessarily). So marrying late and having a child etc I assume is kind of like having a beard..
In other news, I continue to be fascinated by the subreddit that @j discovered. It really is like Field Reports (well, Lay Reports really) for chicks and confirms so much RP/Game stuff (just take a look at how many of the LRs mention the importance of discretion and being nonjudgmental). I am not easily surprised by sexual stuff given that I’ve done some pretty random stuff myself, but some of the posts..jeez. Sure, I know this is self-selecting for the more extreme end of female sexuality, but the point is that it’s *possible*. Kind of like how the TRM comments… Read more »
Yes, I will check the age, although in this case I don’t think she lied (we talked about what she was studying, she mentioned the right subjects, etc). Believe it or not a few years ago the age of consent was just 13…
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/sep/04/spain-raises-age-of-consent
@Catchers Good stuff with the smitten chick. Using her as social proof is the next move. You could even go so far as to explicitly put her in the friend zone and really make the hamster spin. As for texting, i think I’m following the conversation, the rules are for people who 1) can’t write (generally or in that medium) 2) invest their ego into the interaction (I’ve got to bang this chick!) The rules fall away when you get better at text speak and your pipeline expands. Guys getting better at the game stick to newbie rules like “don’t… Read more »
“has anyone else noticed how few people actually use condoms?? Like WTF for people into extreme/casual sex? Even on my lays it’s almost always (90%) me who takes the initiative on condoms – the girls just don’t seem to care.” Eh …the likelihood of getting STD’s is really low….. Had a stripper in my car Saturday and she asked me to put one on.. so I asked her if she was clean then she said yeah……..so I told her I have a ziplock bag. Maybe if I wake up with like a tentacle growing out of my penis I will… Read more »
Heh. It’s about personal risk tolerance. And it’s not just STDs, it’s also pregnancy – I don’t want to rely on a girl taking her pills on time (yes, I know you can pull out, but it’s risky if you don’t manage it in time etc). I agree with you the risk of STDs is overblown. I did a lot of research on this (including reading academic papers etc) when I had my first ONS. The bottom line seems to be (for straight men in this country or any other Western country) that as long as you are not banging… Read more »
@Blax
There’s nothing wrong with playing with other women and seeing what is what as an alternative. Guys that completely turn off that section of their brains lose the ability to talk to and socialize with women, and when they find themselves solo they feel like they are invisible. No woman wants a man that no other woman wants to bang, regardless of how ” angry ” it makes them.
This is so true. I did this and paid the price. Guys, just don’t turn that part of you off
“That said, the tradeoff for a condom is worth it to me (for the pregnancy issue as much as STDs). YMMV.”
Yeah its the personal risk tolerance…. but honestly. If I have a kid with any of the girls im seeing im 100% sure they won’t expect me to be in its life . Per say I could be if I wanted but none of them would try to force me to be.
@Oscar: “Believe it or not a few years ago the age of consent was just 13…”
That is in the traditional Catholic range (12-14). Believe it or not, the thing to question is why it was raised.
@kfg I guess being more in line with the neighbors. We have always had a stupid inferiority complex vis a vis Northern Europe. @Culum “in a super hot session with a married woman while her husband took pictures” I am starting to doubt whether there is something wrong with me, but how can people like that even exist? How can a couple like that respect themselves, or more generally, what is the point of their marriage? It boggles the mind, and I am not even religious. Not judging you Culum since you merely adapt to the environment as I want… Read more »
@Oscar C – Dunno, everyone’s sexuality is different and people find different things to be a turn on? I don’t see the problem with their marriage. I mean, sure the guy was a total beta (although bigger and way more jacked than me) but they seemed to have a happy enough marriage and had been together years. They had kids who were in school when I visited. To put it another way, what is it about the fact that they are swingers that makes you think there is no point to their marriage? In this particular case I think it… Read more »
Not using condoms on random girls seems like a pretty bad idea. And for what, a bit more pleasure on the lead up to your orgasm? Culum doesn’t mention (but he probably knows) you can get a girl pregnant by sperm in the pre-ejaculate (I don’t know the likelihood of this, seems like it would be pretty hard to study, also depends on how fertile the girl is – anyone has numbers of sperms in pre-ejaculate compared to a full load, we can estimate from that ratio). Also, while several STDs do have a low chance of transfer in oral… Read more »
@Culum I see. I am forcing myself to let go of that type of judgements since they lead nowhere, it is just that I find those acts so unnatural. Allowing your wife to fuck other guys? It simply hits me on a gut level, I don’t know. It is a humiliation. How can that be a turn-on? If you marry someone, you are accepting monogamy. If you don’t want it, why marry? Also, according to the RP it is impossible that such marriage is happy; the wife can not respect a man that does allow such things, right? And this… Read more »
Question for the room
Anyone read that linked Reddit a few pages back? The super *empowered women* club? (There is a four letter word that others might use)
Very eye opening, but a lot of it I can’t use for the forces of good.
@WestIndianArchie – yes. See my comment within a few posts of the first link and then my longer comment just a few posts above here on this page (with another Reddit link).
It’s a fascinating case study confirming all kinds of RP and Game principles (see how nearly all of them involve discretion and nonjudgmental male attitudes to allow the girl to really let go)
@ Oscar ” I am starting to doubt whether there is something wrong with me, but how can people like that even exist? How can a couple like that respect themselves, or more generally, what is the point of their marriage? It boggles the mind, and I am not even religious.” This has always been around. The only difference is that now these kinds of things are much more out in the open. When I married my ultra hot 1st wife, we were approached several times by a ” swinging ” couple – together and separately. We had zero interest.… Read more »
@Blax
Amazing. Yeah, I am letting go of such worries pretty fast.
FR didn’t get to do too much because I was very hungover, but still made some progress ate out first, and as I was leaving noticed a black girl who worked there sitting alone in front of an empty parking spot. so I remarked on this “Did someone steal your car?” “no I’m just waiting for someone to pick me up” “Do you mind if I ask you an extremely offensive question?” “go ahead.” I walk over and sit down next to her. I ask her about her hair. Its dyed red and I’ve noticed a lot of black girls… Read more »
@hank – most importantly are you setting up a Day 2 with the black girl??
@Hank
when your focus changes from running game to trying to fuck girls. Your game is going to sky rocket. I promise this.
@culum trying now through text. we’ll see if she responds @mersonia gotta get used to escalating is all. wanted to kiss the girl, but it didn’t feel right to me then. that’s why I mentioned all the stuff about stories and hands and stuff, its just to work up to doing it. like i was going to play with her hair again, but it just didn’t feel right so i didn’t. i know i could have done it, but my brain was just saying no so i didn’t. i just have to have more experience before I can feel right… Read more »
@Hank “gotta get used to escalating is all. wanted to kiss the girl, but it didn’t feel right to me then. that’s why I mentioned all the stuff about stories and hands and stuff, its just to work up to doing it.” Yeah I feel you. It won’t feel right till you do it though. Just gotta jump in and let whatever comes come. It is good to know how to verbally escalate but that’s where I think me ,scray ,and sentient disagreed with ya in saying that learning how to physically escalate would be more important for you. You… Read more »
@mersonia noted @all okay, got back to texting black girl. here it is so far: “Were you the girl I met at the restaurant or the bar?” “Yes” Then I sent her a picture of birthday cat “Huh?” “Did you have a weave or spiked hair?” “weave” “I remember you now. You were dancing on the bar and making out with girls.” “No that wasn’t me at ALL. lol. Bye now.” “It was a joke. lol.” “lol I bet it is.” “You were the girl at the restaurant. We talked about your hair. And that you were copying my hair… Read more »
more texts so to pick up where I left off: “yeah you were the classy type.” “thank you.” then 8 hours later I reply “yeah. very classy. you even offered to take me out to dinner. super classy.” and she almost INSTANTLY responds. almost all of her responses were within a minute of my texts. “oh really?” “yes. you even offered to pay. only really classy girls do that.” “lol I bet the do.” “I see. Suddenly you aren’t a classy girl anymore. You liar 😛 Well I don’t know if I want to see you anymore. I liked you… Read more »
@hank – good stuff on texting her, but:
-*way* too much beating around the bush. No wonder she hasn’t replied yet.
-Set up a meet. Fast.
-Normally I’d say message immediately but since she hasn’t replied to your last message maybe give her a day or so of silence and then start a new conversational thread and set up a meet within 24 hours.
-Remember what YaReally et al said about not spending too much time validating her on text
Good luck
@Hank “she hasn’t responded for a bit since I last texted her, but I think she’s testing if I really would stop talking to her if she disappoints me. so I’m not going to text her at all until she responds.” She’s probably (surely) losing hope that you want to meet up. Also she could be thinking your not interested ..or beginning to rationalize you being a beta because you not pulling big alpha move. Actually similar though not text… I was talking to gym chick 8 from gym. Basically girl I’ve talked 2 one time before was flirting with… Read more »
I wouldn’t wait the two days…. just because Alpha stud can sweep in anytime (I’ve been the guy who meets random chicks and looks through the phone and I’m like arent you talking to this guy and she says were just talking and im like… poor dude oh well more pussy for me) I’d just call yeah set up date yeah try to fuck yeah
@all still think my main mistake on the last bit was being really rough, like too much insults through text. a lot of my sense of humor doesn’t go through text, so it sounds more like I’m just bitching her out rather than being playful. IRL it wouldn’t be a problem. i was taking a while yeah, but I was about to push for meetup at that last point. @culum *way* too much beating around the bush. No wonder she hasn’t replied yet. well, important to point out — ALL of those responses she replied to generally in about 30… Read more »
meant to go out, but spent forever talking to all these people i know. tired of dealing with corporate shit. all the regulars love me, but I can’t get a manger position because i don’t have degrees and look “corporate polished” or whatever this shit is. so all of the ares around here are just hemorrhaging customers because the “corporate polished” new hires don’t know what the fuck is up. lol. dont understand corporate world at all…just chat with people in the trenches, figure out what works, and then promoted those people that do the best. but nah we’re just… Read more »
Field Report Went out Sat night to my country bar. The crowd got thick after 11 p.m. Talked to the bar staff and told a new joke…the one about the man getting a call from his wife from the motel because she wanted to talk to him during sex. People laughed at first, then were shocked. A joke like that needs to be followed with comfort, which I gave after telling it. People acted weird. First girl I danced with called me a hussy for teaching a lot of girls how to dance…proving that no good deed goes unpunished…I grabbed… Read more »
Hank Mersonia Culum It is good to know how to verbally escalate but that’s where I think me ,scray ,and sentient disagreed with ya in saying that learning how to physically escalate would be more important for you. This was over a year ago Hank… make progress in this area or be stuck with Chatty Chatty No Bang results… While you theoretically can sexualize sufficiently via verbal escalation AND subcoms (physical non touch) you need to have rock solid verbal and subcom game… which comes from being able to sexually escalate physically. If you can’t sexually escalate physically i.e. “gotta… Read more »
FR I got some good reference experience this Saturday so I wanted to write this down. Gonna skip the first half of the night cause nothing really interesting happened. So it’s just passed midnight. I’ve had my one drink for the night so it’s just water from here on out. I tell my wing I want to try another bar but he wants to stay cause its raining outside. I leave and text my other wing where I’m heading (he’s at a club nearby) and he says he might go to bar near the area i’m heading towards because the… Read more »
Amendment to last Field Report
The pretty girl I danced with, when we first started dancing, said, “Try to keep up with me.” Shit test #2. She found out that she couldn’t dance nearly as well as I could.
@theasdgamer
Girls are so cute when they talk big game then realize they’re over their head on the dance floor. I always think to myself, “You realize how this works right? I’m the leader and you’re the follower, little one.”
@j
Sounds like quite the night – thanks for sharing. I lol’d at the part you shared your frustration “I’m like fuck!”. Optimally, how should the make out go? Quick passionate kiss + EC then extract?
@j: well done.
A couple of questions, did you think about trying a bathroom pull? And why didn’t you number close short girl when you saw you couldn’t pull near the end?
You could try to set up a day 2 with good logistics, she may have too much ASD because of the make outs but you don’t lose much for trying. It seems like you were too focused on winning the “Frame battle” and showing your outcome independence but if she never sees you again, that is a bit moot anyway.
@j – good one. The reference experience of being able to let a girl walk away is more important than another lay (well, assuming you’re getting laid fairly regularly, which you are).
@Catchers
“how should the make out go? Quick passionate kiss + EC then extract?”
Yeah, ideally deny her a couple times first to frustrate/make her chase a bit more.(which I did with a Brazilian girl on Friday)
@IAS
Yeah too much ASD. High % of flake. I hate Day 2s (haven’t had once since last year). My rule is only number close after I’ve fucked them. Don’t care if I never see her again. They should be the ones worried about never seeing me again. Abundance mentality
@j
Have you ever switched to indirect game (getting the girl to chase) after triggering her ASD?
@theasdgamer
Yeah indirect game after triggering ASD would be saying “it’s ok we don’t have to have sex” while continuing to escalate to sex by building comfort via sexual topics/stories then once shes horny escalate physically to sex. Which I’ve done in the past, but it always takes several hours to turn the situation around. I didn’t feel like investing that much time lol. Much easier to avoid triggering ASD in the first place by keeping the sexual tension alive and save the heavy escalation until reaching the sex location.
A girl (banged once) messages me asking when I’m visiting her city again. Not this summer, so I say it won’t be before she’s back to school (she’s late 20 early 30). Some time later she accidentally facetimes me (I don’t even notice, have all those distracting pop ups switched off and check them only when I decide to do that). She immediately texts whoops. Then says that’s what happens when you can hardly breath (I take it means it’s hot and humid there) and mentions her mom preparing her hair for school. I respond with: Hardly breath?! You forgot… Read more »
Having A Bad Day And Sentient and others Somewhat unusual Field Report from me this time so I think this is the place. It’s not about my wife or kids, but I’m not quite sure what to make of the ending. I think I’ve posted before that I’m mainly focussed on my wife, but I travel a lot on work and I’ve slept with some girls off Tinder and also I sometimes talk to girls and flirt (not in front of my wife or her friends) just to practice flirting and Pick Up skills and to get some confidence. Anyway,… Read more »
I guess..I don’t know. I don’t even have any deep questions about this one. I am happy I maintained control. But I thought it was worth recording an interesting experience. I have had plenty of interest from other girls in this and other work related social groups. This girl has been by far the most persistent and direct though I don’t know if she’ll keep chasing after this. I am guessing that in girl talk I’ve pretty comprehensively rejected her now. I’ve previously ended up once or twice on basically dates with other girls from this kind of circle without… Read more »
@Everyone: about e-mail saga, I’m puzzled that she (mostly out of the blue I think) asked me how many years I’ve been married. Possible interpretations?
I’ll probably just tell her to guess with a hint (I don’t mind her knowing) but I could go “that is personal info” or something.
She also asked my height 2 or 3 e-mails ago, which was a bit puzzling as she has seen me in person enough times to know roughly how tall I am. I teased her on wanting to buy me clothes on that one.
Marquis You had this girl in your home and in your bed you share with the wife? Careful… First, “if it gets out” well people are always looking and talking and it can easily get out even if the girl is cool and quiet. But you are going into a double bind here with a cherry on top! The double bind is you spent the night in bed with her “but nothing happened!” on one hand and you didn’t fuck her on the other hand. That is bad juju to a wife… the worst outcome… A guy who didn’t even… Read more »
IAS I’m puzzled that she (mostly out of the blue I think) asked me how many years I’ve been married. Possible interpretations? Probably talking to her GF’s about you… also continuing to look at monkey branching. She also asked my height 2 or 3 e-mails ago, which was a bit puzzling as she has seen me in person enough times to know roughly how tall I am. I teased her on wanting to buy me clothes on that one. Come on… where is the sexualizing… This is a soft ball… She is comparing height to … what? Help him class!… Read more »
@Marquis Given the context you provided I kind of get why you invited her back to your place – but why do you think you did? As Sentient alluded to – why invite her back at all and not have sex? Seems to an outsider that you took an extreme amount of risk, broke a lot of your own protocols – for snuggling? Your social reputation at work will take a hit, you’re still presumably going to carry some guilt with you for how it went down, and your actions were not in line with your persona / reputation –… Read more »
@IRL
Well, she’s obviously thinking of you quite a bit. Hard to say what I would do without knowing the time frame in which I’d see her again. In general, I’d engage a bit in banter over text but leave the conversation at a high point and make sure to include the appropriate amount of innuendo for your relationship to leave her feeling good.
@IRL
You get this long message and… what do you do?
I would say, “…” …but that’s just me.
@Marquis
flirt (not in front of my wife
why not? feel the FI pushing on you?
I flirted with the waitress last night in front of my wife and pointedly discussed it with my wife.
I’m reminded of a time a while back, a married guy (three kids) was a really big flirt. He started flirting with one girl in particular (she was dating and living with a cop).
One day I went to the gym and they weren’t flirting anymore. In fact, they looked damned awkward in the same room (they seemed to be trying to avoid each other’s eyes).
They were fucking of course.
(didn’t end well)
Changes in behavior are a big “tell”.
LR Once again I fought myself over where I should take the girl I picked up recently on our 3rd date. Long story short I invited her to my place, asked her to bring a movie, and I would cook. Closed the second date after progressive kino and a passionate kiss at the end of the night. Thanks to the advice here regarding text game I bridged the 5 days between seeing each other by providing value / humor the afternoon before our meet. WestIndianArchie nailed it on the head when he mentioned “being too ego invested in the sex”… Read more »
FR so noticed that one of the customers at work that I know will often lean up against me. like she’ll snoop on me if I am working on something or on my phone. so she’ll lean up and push her shoulder into mine. I’ve started leaning back into her whenever she does this. she’s married, and everyone around her knows it, so not really sure how to escalate here. she did invite me to go see a band with her in a few days. not sure if husband will be there. will be interesting to see how she reacts… Read more »
@Catchers “This is the third girl (of 3) that has had some form of LMR even after multiple dates. To me it signals too much BB on my part but with my previous lay there was a LOT of sexual frame very early and she still resisted on Day 2 (until later that night when we met again). I’ll need to read up on handling LMR better. All of these girls definitely see my as “boyfriend material”, and I’m not opposed to an LTR, but just a point of focus moving forward.” The LMR probably stems from demonstrating too much… Read more »
@CatchersIndifference – good stuff on keeping it up and learning and getting the lay. @J’s given you good resources. Also check out YaReally’s stuff on lasering – lots of posts about it in the Archive. That said – third date for sex?? That’s a standard even for betas. You can do a lot better. Like no one is saying you have to bang her in the restroom of the bar 90 mins after you meet her (although that’s fun), but unless you *want* to draw it out, you can do a lot better than third date (I usually go for… Read more »
TheMarquis, disclaimer: I’m not a dude. But I’ve seen a lot of shit go down in my life so you might want to consider what I say here. I have nothing to gain (other than getting it off my mind, if I don’t say anything I’ll regret it) and no points to score, these are just my observations you can take or leave them. I didn’t think I’d respond but I’ve read your post a couple of times and feel a bit compelled. Particularly since you started out with this bit: “Somewhat unusual Field Report from me this time so… Read more »