For the past three years of The Rational Male there’s been a consistent presence in the comment threads of guys seeking advice for particular situations with regards to Game. Whether it’s fine tuning certain aspects of Game or a larger consensus of the guys participating in my comment threads it’s become obvious there’s a need for a dedicated page and comment thread to address these Field Reports.
So I’m instituting this page for exactly this. If there is some urgency to have members of The Rational Male community analyze your particular situation feel free to hit anyone up in the comments of my current post, but please refer them to your particular field report with a link to your comment here. I’m hoping this will alleviate the mass of posts for field report analysis and Game specific insights piled into the main blog post for any given week.
There will be some rules for this “forum” as such. I ask that you only keep your comments to addressing the field reports at hand and save your larger theoretical stuff for the main posts, or if relevant, keep the “bigger scope of things” posts to being as succinct as possible. There will be no moderation in this comment thread (spamming excepted), so realize it will be a very hot kitchen before you post. I will impose no restrictions on video links here, nor will I limit links to various, but pertinent articles.
Understand, this is an experiment for now. It’s likely this comment thread will exceed thousands of comments. I’ll be instituting new comment plug-ins for wordpress to deal with this in the future, but I may archive this page the the posts and refresh this page in the future as well. If this gets cumbersome I may simply institute a dedicated forum-style sub-site of The Rational Male to accommodate for Game specific questions.
So have at it, post your field reports and feel free to comment on the ones you have some particular insight for. Be forewarned that it’s likely things may get a bit salty at times and I expect a lot of back & forth with debate and disagreements, but that’s what this thread is for – to hash out Game particulars for your given situations.
@pitbikemike – Everyone has to stat somewhere, and if you’re making progress towards your goal you’re doing the right thing. Nice work, keep learning and applying that knowledge and the places it will take you will be amazing.
Blackpill It’s not low energy it’s low intensity. Julien has a good clip on this. Pitbikemike Good stuff. Need to add in more sexualizing to avoid dancing monkey and leading the int we action somewhere instead if reacting. A few points: You’re developing your own routines… Which is good. Routines are good. “you can tell a lot about someone” 👍 cold reads are great… Also a great chance to neg and play off your target in a multiple set. Attribute lame stuff to her and cool stuff to her friends. Also use to sexualize “yeah you re the timid one.… Read more »
Still buffering and a bit overwhelmed but in a good way. I laughed out loud when I read about the “Kid with Dynamite” descriptor in TRM as I have definitely been feeling as much lately. Speaking of TRM, it’s been a while since I’ve consumed content so voraciously including reading the entire book, absorbing FR’s, and reading tons of manosphere musings. One of the key things I’ve really grasped ahold of is that rejection is better than regret. Up until the last couple of months I’ve regretted not escalating with women on dates quite a bit. As I’ve come to… Read more »
Catchers….
When single moms are OUT… They are OUT… I.e. they have a sitter, etc. And are free to get your bone. Which is why they are OUT to begin with.
Act in the moment.
@Sentient Thanks, will internalize this and act in the future. For the first time in my life I’m truly experiencing abundance which I directly correlate to my drive to learn but also act on the advice given here / push myself to be better. I greatly appreciate everyone that has helped me a long the way but understand that there is no finish line and I must work to continually improve myself. I am completely nonchalant about my date tonight as I am expecting intimacy rather than hoping for it. Same goes for lunch tomorrow with “O” – our date… Read more »
@catchers “I ultimately decided that the opportunity to potentially have her hamster about my lack of response outweighed anything I could think of to respond back with and didn’t want to seem needy” Good. Remember the golden rule: You don’t have to reply to every text. A quote i read on the r/redpill went like “A women’s hamster is my best tool of seduction. She doesn’t know whether or not you read her text, and suddenly she thinks you’re banging Mia Khalifa” lol Text her back Sunday evening (don’t explain/apologize for not replying) joke around then invite her out again.… Read more »
Here’s a FR with a difference: There’s a guy who hangs out at my local pub who had some kind of brain trauma when he was a kid. He comes across as ‘simple’, struggles to get his sentences out (like his eyes widen as he reaches the end of a sentence, and then he has to like shake his head to get it out). I enjoy chatting to the dude because he’s friendly, has this different perspective on life, and when you’re patient with him he has some interesting insights. Other locals find him too awkward to talk to, so… Read more »
Was at a new karaoke bar with Mrs. Eh yesterday. First time there. Small, blue collar. Not a collar there this night. It was filled with about 15 diesel dykes, 5 feminine-y dykes, all fat. I’m talking all battle cruisers. 5 beta orbiters, random others too. About 30 total, rather tight fit frankly because of the obesity, it was hard to get around. There wasn’t the usual rainbow flag tells or anything to cue me that it was gay bar. Honestly! Hah. I talk to the dj for no more than a minute, take Mrs. Eh to the bar and… Read more »
FR/LR Since my last FR “O” reached out to me on my way to pick up my date last night saying she couldn’t make it the following day to lunch. She offered to reschedule, I reached out to single mom from Friday night to replace her, and let her text marinate overnight. Just sent her a follow up text this morning putting the ball in her court. LR TAKE FOR GRANTED Given my recent success perhaps I assumed too much going into this interaction with the girl from my last LR. I open her up with a kiss as soon… Read more »
@EhIntellect
I laughed out loud at your intro! Especially at, “I’m talking all battle cruisers.”
I’ve been reading your old FR’s and learning quite a bit from your approach, the guidance offered here, and the interactions you share. Glad to hear that things are seemingly headed in the right direction.
I feel like I’m getting a decent grasp of the TRM / TRP approach to dating but think there isn’t the same amount of information available for an LTR so I appreciate what your bring to this forum.
Hey there CatchersIndifference. The STR/LTR script is the same generally. Frame above all. The stakes are higher in a salvageable LTR. More to lose by apathetically, half stepping RP. All in, all the time. I’m indebted to everyone helping me out, and the TRM LTR info available is there for the having. My the relationship is worth saving. It’s white hot, emotionally, sexually. Not so in all cases. Some RP up and wisely bail, cut their losses. I’ve poorly controlled keeping all this on the DL, at least publicly. My family benefits from RP, my workplace rejected it, Alpha-ing up.… Read more »
@blax okay. was gonna wait for some questions since I am slowly getting better (prolly go on my blitz here in the next week or two) but went out anyway today and ran up against some fundamenta issues with my locale and so want some suggestions. Otherwise I wasn’t gonna say shit until I got some success, but these are the same issues I’ve been beating my head against for awhile. Okay, so had a coworker invite me to this bottle shop. Thought it was a small event, was huge. All white chicks though, few minorities…but hesitated. Chatted up some… Read more »
@ hank Lol bro, how much you had to drink tonight? Okay, let’s see what we have here… ” *had a rule on not picking up married chicks, but fuck it I don’t care any more. older balck dude I know is like “married or single, girls is girls” and I’m, you know, that’s right. fuck it. long story. anyway, guys here are fags and I’m tired of neglecting girls cuz they have a serious dude and just tired of shit in general. again, datails later, but like this past month in particular has been for lots of reason me… Read more »
CatchersIndifference “but feel my verbal agility held more weight in my score than the actual response” always the case… dispense with logic and remember frame is most important. “It’s worked for me in the past but perhaps it was superfluous in this scenario? I am currently blaming this mistake on “maintaining state” within relationships and not allowing to conversations bleed between them and confuse things.” yeah, simplify… Just be in the moment. I pretend like she isn’t there but I’m certain that she knows I’m there w/ my date as I can tell by her body language. Her demeanor rapidly… Read more »
FR: I went to a sporting event and after party. I had a similar FR last year. This year my round was in the afternoon and I got some work done during the morning waiting for my round, so I didn’t do as much socializing during the day as last year. I am a foreigner in this setting but I’m fluent in the language. I still did some mild opens to groups from other Unis, which included remembering a man, PM, that last year was a bit ill but still did very well in the competition last time. He was… Read more »
FR cont: Now onto the afterparty. I can’t quite reconstruct it chronological as I’m not sure of the order of some of these. As a general observation, I note that sets, even if they are going decently well, have a tendency to move out after a bit, maybe trying to get me to chase? At least it looks like I’m not prematurely ejecting from the sets myself. Not sure what to do about it, so I usually just say goodbye but in some cases won’t see them again which is a lose-lose situation. Some specific examples will be described in… Read more »
IAS How’s your herps? LOL I think I misplayed here as I said “Not that weird really”, while girls love the fate angle more than anything based on statistical analysis. OK… this is dog logic and you get pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffsssssssssssssssssssttt…. all the air is let out of the tire. downer man… Sad! what you want to do is build on these hooks… this is a gift from the Sex Gods… great opportunity to loop into “you never know” stuff from the fate angle, why they think you all met etc. how temporal everything is… and YOLO baby! seed those ideas. Chatted… Read more »
@blax *Okay, to clarify, it was less about married chicks and more about poaching girls from their bfs. Like I said, around here there aren’t really any clubs or the like where you can find single women…you almost always only see them out on a date or with a long time bf. So I was wanting advice on how you could take a girl from that guy, since that’s the majority of time I see girls out. *as far as drinking, not thaaat much for me, but enough. it fucked up that asian girl pickup. once I woke up this… Read more »
@Hank The quickest way to steal a chick from her old man is to make him mad,not mad enough to kill you,at least until you give him good reason by didling his woman.What you need to do is make him jealous or mad about politics or being shown up enough that he will complain about you to her therefore you are more alpha.Because if you weren’t why doesn’t he just beat your ass. Now there is an axiom from the art of war that goes like this ” in the case where opponents are equally matched the one that carries… Read more »
@blax
okay theres another festival this weekend i am going to with friends, plus one of the milfs who grabbed my ass invited me to a party at her place the same day. so i can go to the festival then milfs place that evening.
@stuffin
noted
Hey everyone, I have another interesting field observation from a conversation I had on a double date with a friend (full write up and breakdown here: https://alphajedi.com/2017/05/02/crazy-pills/). I was on a double date with a friend and two girls and everyone except me had been married and divorced. When I mentioned I had never been married and that I didn’t see any reason to go down that path myself, it was fascinating how quickly they all morphed into agents of the Matrix to defend the institution, even though they all had very negative go around with it. Some key observations:… Read more »
@Alpha Jedi
“-Not following the same path makes me the “crazy one” in the room (according to them)”
Have you considered the possibility that you are an Alpha enigma to be tested in these social settings?
Next time try a bait and switch,see if they argue with themselves>LOL
@stuffinbox
I most certainly have. I done a bait and switch in the past and it is amusing, but for this past weekend’s experience I wanted to see just how far they’d take the interrogation if I held my ground. It’s certainly a Situational Shit Test for sure, which is an effective tool for keeping Blue Pill men trapped and inline.
@Sentient (and @SJF and @Culum) re: herpes First thing I want to note was my first reaction to reading Sentient’s question with his own LOL at the end) was me getting annoyed at his mockery of my distress. But I quickly realized it and started finding it funny. I want to again thank you all (especially SJF) for the help when I was freaking out. After the initial responses by Culum and SJF I was already backing down on having to disclose some stuff to the wife, and Sentient with his “I’m 50% on him [IAS] telling the wife the… Read more »
IAS – you do not get symptoms during transmission… You said your lip felt tingly during the kiss… HSV-1 is common in human populations. You likely had it (if you have it at all) already… This here “I’m not sure if I can convey how annoying it is for me to get it from a random, mostly useless make out with the 2nd woman I ever kissed. This is all the FI and probably latent religious/societal guilt pushing on you. You can get hives and your lips blow up from stress… Or maybe allergies… Relax… You are not being punished.… Read more »
-Saying you aren’t interested in marriage generates the “Why are you anti-relationship?” shaming interrogation tactic
Here’s what I’d say, “I was just kidding…I want to enjoy the whole institution of marriage…registering for gifts…dressing up at the wedding…the honeymoon…kids…not getting laid…getting divorced after seven years…seeing the kids every other weekend…getting laid again.”
@Sentient: it could have been that the tingly kiss sensation was psychological and then the rest wasn’t, or that it was an allergic reaction. It is fairly unlikely already having it and it popping up a few days after the make out (shall we say, apart from the tingly sensation during the make out which I agree doesn’t fit). I’m aware that breakouts occur in times of stress and I was travelling which can take its toll on the immune system, and I was also a bit freaked out from the new experience… But I only got really stressed when… Read more »
IAS
So what we have here is you doing the work… Having experiences… Developing from them. Putting in the reps.
Arnold is happy…
@ IAS “So what we have here is you doing the work… Having experiences… Developing from them. Putting in the reps.” Your comments are showing a considerable amount of tendency toward limiting beliefs. How would your LDR married monogamous Game be different if you were not married? How would your thoughts be different if you were guaranteed 100% that you didn’t get herpes? And a million other questions like this….. These limiting beliefs can come from just about anywhere. (You still have religious and social conventions operating your SuperEgo) . Even now you have limiting beliefs that you can’t kiss… Read more »
@theasdgamer – Hahaha #onpoint
quick question about dancefloor game for the brain-trust. Is the idea that it’s much more about looks since it’s difficult for much else to attract her when you are basically unable to speak, or is that just not true? I went out the other night, and was getting shot down left and right, lol. I’m not the best looking guy, and i’m obviously a little older than lots of my competition for the girls that I go for but I like to think I can still definitely improve, I’m curious about whether one should approach verbally on the dancefloor (assuming… Read more »
@cav As with most male to female interactions it’s all about confidence on the dance floor. It sounds like your lynchpin to what you define as “success” is getting a girl to dance with you and escalate from there. I’d recommend showing up, working the room, and adding value to as many sets as possible and avoid asking for anything right away. You’d be surprised at how many girls will seek you out later in the night since you didn’t “take” anything from them in the initial interaction. I’ve had girls go hunting for me and grab my hand, interlock… Read more »
On my flight to a conference I introduced myself to the late-20’s HB 5 latina woman seated next to me. I wanted to see how long I could maintain an interaction—my expectation was about 30 minutes total time including interruptions. Overall, the interaction lasted over 3 hours. I was somewhat getting tired, but kept it going until the plane landed. It was good practice, even in a controlled environment. I tried the old cool guy bit, tried a little keno when appropriate. The interaction was more interesting than it would have been pre-redpill awareness. She’s a doctor traveling to meet… Read more »
“While she was truthful about the hospital organization where she works, she lied about her name, medical specialty and her work location.”
Lets translate– at Epiphany age, with an adolescent skill set, fully able to provision for herself financially= DTF.
But @HB5 good luck with those boner tests.
“I wanted to see how long I could maintain an interaction—my expectation was about 30 minutes total time including interruptions.
Overall, the interaction lasted over 3 hours. I was somewhat getting tired,….”
She was trying extra hard for options because she was a HB5 DTF.
@ IF-I-FELL Keep at it everywhere. It’s a good way to improve the skill set when dealing with all types of women of every age group. I approach chicks to chat every day, mostly on the streets or in stores, the bank, anywhere. About half or a little more, will have conversations so lengthy that you’ll have to eventually cut them off.this is true for hb9’s or hb5’s. I really enjoy talking to chicks because awalt. I’m consistently looking to pick their mental locks. It’s akin to chess in some ways with many of them ( some are dull and… Read more »
Blax But it’s definitely a numbers game. Not so much… it is more a skill development game. So you have to put in some numbers to attain skill, but skill attainment – if you are truly working on improving – can be achieved in a shockingly small number of girls. These guys posting they’ve opened 3,000 girls and haven’t gotten a number, let alone a lay… or stats like 100 opens to a lay ratios you see posted… These guys are unknowingly doing things wrong repetitively, or more often – given the abundance of information available free online – knowingly… Read more »
@ Sentient Lol, okay I was assuming that if a guy is opening hundreds of women he’s learning at an accelerated pace. Repetition is supposed to create a level of mastery. The Orlando chick met my expectations as far as being who I figured she was, but the car rental/hotel thing caught me a bit by surprise. I think she was 23 if memory serves, so initially I chalked it up to a quick business arrangement but her body language and the fact that it was about 1 am told a different story. There’s nothing wrong with newbs going to… Read more »
@cav Solid advice from @catchers. I do short set method (working the room) at the beginning of the night. It accomplishes 2 things: 1. Gives me social momentum (gets me in a self amused state (which is vital because then you can open with anything and it works cause your not stuck in your head. No ‘what should I say thoughts pop up in my head) 2. It gives me warm approaches when I hit the dance floor (girls will be receptive cause I gave them value earlier like catchers said) and girls watching will see that I just approached… Read more »
“I had regretted not handing her my business card with my cell phone number written on the back as a just in case. Which I later realized was a beta move” If there is a mutual exchange of info, prompted by her offering her info, that is one thing. Just giving out your number… no. Saw this in play last night. Went out early for a quick beer with the WK buddy. Maybe 7 so still leftover happy hour crowd out. Nice 7 in scrubs sitting at the bar having a beer and a rocker kind of young dude working… Read more »
V busy with work stuff this week but just dropping in quickly to say amen to Sentient’s post up there re quick improvement. When I was working on my online dating – and first date escalation skills, I went from being clueless and getting LJBFs (with a few -very few – lucky lays and some makeouts) to pretty much nailing it on a consistent basis (to the 3 lays in 24 hours on a business trip a couple months ago) – surprisingly quickly. In terms of time it took quite a while – 2-3 years – mainly because of my… Read more »
BTW the above isn’t meant to suggest that you don’t need to work hard on it. You absolutely do. It’s meant to say that you can be remarkably efficient in your learning and maximize the learning you get for the amount of effort being put in – but if you want to be good, you need to put in a lot of effort and time and make sacrifices.
@Hank, @Rollo, @SJF, @Sentient Thanks for explaining the Yareally and RSD disagreements. It is what it is, there’s nothing more to really say on the subject. On another note, my “game” is not really going anywhere fast. I’m more concentrating on getting my business off the ground and moving into a nice home (first time I’ll have an actual garden, and not burying myself in debt to do it either), being completely debt free in the next couple of years, and finally my fitness (particularly my swimming, a big goal of mine is to get good enough to compete in… Read more »
Another thing I struggle with, is, that I realise I’m a beta nerd, I just happen to, in the last few years, to have got nerdy about sports, and don’t physically look nerdy anymore, but I know when I’m talking to a woman that I can’t keep up the cocky/funny act indefinitely, because the side of me that wants to talk about science, technology, philosophy, economics, history, etc., is just waiting to let slip and bore the pants off whom I’m talking too (or I know to stay off these subjects and run out of things to say). Does anyone… Read more »
@Chunky Read about and start employing the Questions Game…instead of talking about things to fill the air, practice probing a bit into the girl’s interests and then escalating from there. Krauser’s Questions Game is where once you move into comfort you set up the Questions Game. She can ask one, you can ask one….tell her “Make it an interesting one not what is the colour of your favorite dog?” Then slowly start escalating: What was the naughtiest thing you ever did when you were a kid? How old were you when you first kissed a boy? This will prevent you… Read more »
@Chunky Monkey Forgive me, but I don’t remember your backstory. What you are asking is straight up how to game. What is your backstory in regards to what have you assimilated in the manosphere? What stuff have you studied/read? What is your station in life? Your questions are straight up about the Sentient meme that dog mentality (male logical thinking) vs cat feeling (female emotions). Are you actually starting at square one with game and women? Have you read Mystery Method and a myriad of other game books? One thing I recommend to people in your situation is to read… Read more »
“I know when I’m talking to a woman that I can’t keep up the cocky/funny act indefinitely, because the side of me that wants to talk about science, technology, philosophy, economics, history, etc., is just waiting to let slip and bore the pants off whom I’m talking too (or I know to stay off these subjects and run out of things to say). Does anyone on here have to deal with that at all? When at heart you just know all the the things you find fascinating make you the most boring man on the planet when it comes to… Read more »
0:54 – 1:01
1:42 – 1:47
3:15 – 3:38
4:13 – 4:20
4:26 (“you look retarded”):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXzPsZHYUbI
Verdict: ALPHA
Subcomms > Looks
@ Walawala ( and hank too… ) ” @Chunky Read about and start employing the Questions Game…instead of talking about things to fill the air, practice probing a bit into the girl’s interests and then escalating from there.” Ohh!! Ohh!!! There are some women that can hold a conversation on varying levels, but it’s not all that easy to find them. Women ( generalizing here ) have a bit of difficulty when it comes to technical and/or scientific stuff. They just don’t find it all that interesting. Keep in mind that talking to chicks will be initially much different than… Read more »
@ Chunky ” Another thing I struggle with, is, that I realise I’m a beta nerd, I just happen to, in the last few years, to have got nerdy about sports, and don’t physically look nerdy anymore, but I know when I’m talking to a woman that I can’t keep up the cocky/funny act indefinitely, because the side of me that wants to talk about science, technology, philosophy, economics, history, etc., is just waiting to let slip and bore the pants off whom I’m talking too (or I know to stay off these subjects and run out of things to… Read more »
@walawala Thanks, I’ll look up the “Questions Game”, @Blaximus “There are some women that can hold a conversation on varying levels, but it’s not all that easy to find them. Women ( generalizing here ) have a bit of difficulty when it comes to technical and/or scientific stuff. They just don’t find it all that interesting.” I can’t disagree with any of that, but I find myself at a philosophical impass, in that, I ask myself, aside from the biological practicalities of women (creating children), what is otherwise the point? @SJF, Thank you (I’ve a lot of reading to do).… Read more »
I’m curious about the practical application of plate theory and how I can work to refine my implementation of it. Would anyone care to share their tips & tricks? Rollo talks about “plates that spin themselves” – is that a girl that has intense desire for you so she will facilitate your meet ups and is thankful for the time spent with you? What are some examples of plates that you should not consider spinning aside from personality disorders or blatant red flags? When is it ok to spin a specific plate yourself a bit if it starts wobbling in… Read more »
@Blax “I don’t believe in ” fake it till you make it ” as a longer term strategy. If ” cocky/funny ” is still an act after an appreciative amount of time has passed, something is amiss. Look at it like this, I can explain gas direct fuel injection to a woman, and make her laugh and find it somewhat interesting. It’s more about delivery, just like in comedy. Remember your target audience and their propensities. You run out of things to say when the things you’re saying don’t matter, if that makes any sense. You can speak of the… Read more »
@ChunkyMonkey Unplugging for me at times has felt as overwhelming and confusing as you describe in your post. I recommend taking a step back and building momentum by opening people you come across on a day to day basis just to become more comfortable and gain more experience. Hopefully reading more FR’s here and elsewhere will help you to avoid buffering over the “futlilty” of pursuing women in the first place. Don’t do it for them, do it for yourself! The homely, HB2.5 woman working the check-out counter? Ask her how her day is and challenge yourself to make her… Read more »
@Catchers
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3pltm2/humansockpuppets_guide_to_managing_your_bitches/
@Blaximus FR is a great example of day gaming a “hired gun” (which is night gaming when the sun is out as they say, but environment does matter a bit). I thought it would be a good exercise for me and may help others to break it down a bit. My comments in [square brackets] Blax’s FR Her: Yes? What do you need today? Me: I need to know what you do outside of roaming big box stores. [Setting the frame out of customer-worker] Her: Huh? Me: Do you go to a gym, or is that natural ( pointing to… Read more »
A date field report: Usual story, shooter girl who I have been chatting up for months HB 7, qualified as non-slut, seems down to earth and fun. Was out of town for a few weeks, got back on Friday, saw me an immediately set aside her tools and came to sit with me. Chatted for a while, rebuilt attraction, then later in the night asked her if she wanted to do something sometime, handed her my phone, she put in her number and we were a go. Turned out she wanted to go go-karting on a dirt track. I didn’t… Read more »
@Chunky monkey Please allow me to interject here,as I don’t believe you have alot of reading to do! What you have is alot of living to do! We tend to form synapse through our daily routine,making it easier to deal with say a board than a human.The only way to develop new synapse’s is to practice and normalize those actions that represent the strengths we desire. Don’t try to think your way out of thinking to much! Go to a comedy club,talk to people,remember they can’t eat you.Set yourself up to spend time with boisteruos outgoing people,CYA. Just lighten up… Read more »
@Blaximus, I’m standing up clapping over that epic FR! Funny as fuck!
@IAS, good breakdown on the FR.
@Blackpill You say you are building attraction,It sounds as if you are building comfort rather than attraction,this is where the age problem originates,if she was more attracted than comfortable it would be no big deal to find out you were hiding something that doesn’t matter,you get it it doesn’t matter right,IT DOESN”T MATTER so why hide it,creepy.This ladder theory makes a good point on comfort building. http://www.laddertheory.com/ Just because an epiphany chick has more attraction for you proves nothing about the age matters BS,she would have more attraction for any male especialy a BB type,don’t kid yourself she would fuck… Read more »
@stuffinbox everything I have read says build attraction first, then next phase is to build comfort. I got that specific advice from several people on this site, who blamed me for going too full jerkboy on the girls and making them think I had disqualified them or wasn’t genuinely interested, or just a genuine cad. Blaming every failure on not being alpha enough is actually pretty useless feedback, especially it follows from advice to ease off on alpha and build some rapport. I don’t think it’s a method thing on my end, since I am now accustomed to girls closing… Read more »
@blackpill I don’t think your age had anything to do with it. I just think you failed to lead. From the way you describe your interaction she was attracted to you based upon your persona from the bar and it sounds like she saw a different facet of you on your date perhaps. Why did your date get to choose what you did and when you did it? Don’t get me wrong go-karting and lunch sounds like fun but I’m a dude. I understand from your FR that you’ve had good fortune of having the girl go for the kiss… Read more »
@Blackpill
Guilty as charged on the rapport building,as these girls are at work when you are gaming them,social proof is important,hence the build rapport suggestion.
It is only a failure if you are reading her sub coms wrong and act accordingly.
If you want a more detailed introspection you will need to ad more detail to your fr or just alpha up.
What is your take on the ladder theory? All true? some true? all BS?
Chunkymonkey Blax IAS Chunky… man some good stuff for you. a few further points… You run out of things to say when the things you’re saying don’t matter, if that makes any sense. You can speak of the stuff your passionate about forever. Learn how to infect others with that passion. Blax is tapping into the Passionate and Authentic legs of the Alpha Triad (Dynamic, Passionate and Authentic)… Mystery hit this too, if you watch some of the online seminars, his description of a nerd computer job is an example… Also Mystery says “say one interesting thing… that is interesting…… Read more »
“We tend to form synapse through our daily routine,making it easier to deal with say a board than a human.The only way to develop new synapse’s is to practice and normalize those actions that represent the strengths we desire. Don’t try to think your way out of thinking to much!” I don’t disagree with the fact that Chunky Monkey should have lots of experiences. get out there and enjoy himself. But the problem is that doesn’t preclude having a mentor. Did you ever have workers that were incompetent (either unconsciously or consciously) in carpentry or other trades that you deal… Read more »
bLACKPILL I don’t think it’s a method thing on my end, since I am now accustomed to girls closing space and initiating kino. This is the first girl who I have gamed who never at any stage initiated kino, even during the obvious negging/building attraction phase. Also the first to avoid me touching her body. I was actually surprised when she wanted to go out on a date because the IOIs hadn’t been that strong. Not a method thing? Where in that date do you build attraction? where are her IOI’s? Where are your DHVs? I mean she chose the… Read more »
@stuffinbox never heard of ladder theory.. @CatchersIndifference the way the date happened was more along the lines of asking her what she thought was fun, she said go karting (the usual I’m not a girls girl story I get from every single girl), so I said let’s do it. I did lead during the date, I suggested lunch, chose the pub, ended the date. I paid attention to not dropping frame (plus I felt pretty comfortable gaming her when we met), so don’t think this was about me being ‘different’. My objective at this stage is to find a girlfriend.… Read more »
@Black Pill: now I’m not an expert and maybe the following is too harsh. There is a funny saying going around that is… If there is doubt (for you), there is no doubt (for her). And frankly “Don’t touch me” and no kiss, not even a front hug at the end shouldn’t even give you doubts. You’ve been chatting her for months and she qualified herself as a non-slut. You are FIRMLY in Beta Bucks territory here. If a shooter girl is a girl that is a hired gun to make guys spend money at bars, she is already extracting… Read more »
@sentient she paid for her lunch and her karting, she didn’t get a cent out of me – in fact she paid for my drink between races. Building attraction was done beforehand, was focusing on rapport, did try kino, reception either indifferent or negative when it went too close. I told her my exact age when she persisted and didn’t qualify it at all. She mentioned several times how competitive she was, so maybe me kicking her ass on the track was not the right move (although it was fun). But then again if I’d lost that would have been… Read more »
Blackpill
27!!! Dude… age is NOT the issue… I know tons of 50YO guys who are marrying late 20’s women because of the Epiphany Phase dynamics in place. You are what still in your thirties? I’d sayhalf my successes have been with girls 25-30 and I am late 40’s… It is such an easy age to pick up.
I thought you were going to say this girl was like 19 and you were 38… lol.
@SJF
Don’t see any point in an introvert engineer type that spends more time in the books and at the grind wheel taking a personality test, All this may show is ideals,not personality.
Theory is no good at all without practice,sure it takes both to build synapse’s ,but learning public speaking is done by doing it.It is my belief that CM has the proper knowledge to put this into practice without doing himself serious harm.
Okay fuck I am scrambling my story here. She asked my age in the car on the way, I said I’m turning 40 soon and she checked the date on my indemnity form. I didn’t pay for anything at the date, asking for the bill is a way of ending an engagement here, no suggesting you’ll pay for it. The date happened talking about what she did for fun, me suggesting we do it, and giving her my phone to input the #. We confirmed the date the next day.
@sentient so far my experience in the field is that some girls are very fast to tell me ‘age is just a number’ and they don’t give a shit, while others don’t seem to care either way, and for some it is really important. Their own age has nothing to do with it. I dated a 23 year old last year who didn’t give a shit, but have met 32 year olds who think I am too old for them.
@Black Pill: Sentient has it right despite the details. I didn’t read his reply when I posted mine as I was typing it up and you can see our thoughts overlap quite a bit (he has much more experience though). I’m glad to see she paid her karting and lunch, but she still got your time/attention. It is good if you actually enjoyed the date yourself, but reading between the lines I’d say you are at least a bit frustrated with it. You can’t lose on purpose BTW, that is pathetic. Don’t even consider crap like that. A competitive girl… Read more »
Blackpill OK, she paid for the stuff. not as bad however: Building attraction was done beforehand, was focusing on rapport, did try kino, reception either indifferent or negative when it went too close. When was attraction “built”? Do you mean days ago??? Do you think it’s a one and done thing? it is not binary, set it and forget get. Ok attraction built… now let’s move on to Comfort…!!! The fact that she was not passing compliance tests and rejecting kino should prove to you you did NOT have attraction and you needed to work on that and not comfort…… Read more »
@Blackpill
Are you able to click this link?
http://www.laddertheory.com/
@Black Pill: the ones that care about age are just not that into you and that is the rationalization they are using (to themselves or just as an excuse to blow you off). If you had gamed them better, those too wouldn’t care about age. And the ones that didn’t care about age with you could meet a guy that they perceive as beta and then age suddenly matters. Girls treat lovers and providers differently. You can be perceived as a lover to girl A and as a provider to girl B. Also it may look like a contradiction, but… Read more »
Modern day communication
http://postgradcasanova.com/7-texting-mistakes/
Blackpill
A girl will diss you on whatever she can diss you on,age,style,haircut……ad infinitum.
@blackpill Everyone has their own style but considering you picked her up at a bar where she is working (difficult to escalate) I think not kissing her on the first date is incongruent with your stated goal of obtaining a girlfriend. You obviously established enough comfort & attraction to get her on the date in the first place so why not focus on escalating intimacy? As someone else posted earlier here a girl wants to feel chemistry on a date so if your goal is a girlfriend but you are unwilling to get the kiss on the first date you… Read more »
IAS – good developing theory and background… you put this into practice you might prove to the guys the example of how far you can go with just a few girls…
@sentient my approach up until then had been teasing and negging and I didn’t let her off, I just opened a bit more and showed her I am an actual human being and not a cad comedian. I’m trying to tell you that I didn’t really change and *specifically tried to escalate* via kino and got shot down. I’m not going to go in for a kiss with a girl who won’t even close space. I gave her compliance tests. For example I asked for a beef skewer on the date and it was delicious, so I said ‘try this’.… Read more »
@Stuffinbox
I don’t disagree with the get out and just do more game and practice. Its just my premise in giving advice is because it is my belief that CM doesn’t have the proper knowledge to put this into practice without doing himself serious harm. (Shit, like even trying to marry the next good girl he meets instead of having an abundance of options.)
(Of course, it’s in my INTJ nature to believe that. And I think I even commented recently to someone else to stop reading red pill after two years and just game more)
Blackpill I’m trying to tell you that I didn’t really change and *specifically tried to escalate* via kino and got shot down. And I’m trying to tell you that this is proof you did not have enough attraction… so you needed to do more, despite the fact you had done some… I’m not going to go in for a kiss with a girl who won’t even close space. Good. I didn’t suggest you do so. so I said ‘try this’. She refused. Ha ha.. her refusing is her failing your compliance test… You should not have persisted at that point… Read more »
@SJF
I see,I don’t like lables like INTJ reminds me of a test out of girls life.Personality is constantly flowing and locking ones self into [brackets] is very limiting for growth potential.
As this goes CM seems more advanced than say yourself.
Blackpill
Remember the model
so I said ‘try this’. She refused. give her an IOD to this… then DHV…
http://i45.tinypic.com/33elrae.jpg
Couple sundry things… TuffLuv’s main thread comments reminded me of a 21 y.o. Miss Eh’s GNO, decades ago. She’d already had a toothbrush and tampons in my bathroom by then (I know! I know!). What could go wrong, she was giving it to me regularly? The next morning I find a letter written on the kitchen table. She’s writes about the affection she was getting from dudes at the country dance club, her feeling of elation with them and disappointment with me. By the third sentence of a two page letter I throw it away. I remember feeling a combination… Read more »
@stuffinbox read the whole Ladder Theory site, was a good laugh and sounds legit. Thanks.
@sentient what is an IOD?
IOD = Indicator of Disinterest, i.e. a neg, freeze out, back turn etc.
Me: Try this
Her : No
Me: I was just kidding. This is way to good for you. [focus on taking a bite – little freeze out with body language]
So check this out, last time I was eating one of these with this girl from XYZ, [DHV story]…
IOI = Indicator of Interest.
DHV = Demonstration of High Value
@Blackpill Just a few things to note. I’m considerably older than you and bang girls in their 20’s…hot ones. I rarely take them out on “dates” like the one you describe. The most I’ve done is take them on the giant ferris wheel…where we slowly go around together and I can find a way to escalate kino. Go-karting or anything competitive where you’re not in close proximity? No. Bad idea. This is a reward for a girl you’re already banging and you want to do something and she’s up for it. Go to an art gallery, mini-golf, dance lessons…anything where… Read more »
@cav quick question about dancefloor game for the brain-trust. Lead/follow dancing is my specialty. What kind of dancing do you do? Is the idea that it’s much more about looks since it’s difficult for much else to attract her when you are basically unable to speak, or is that just not true? Not sure why you think you can’t talk to girls on the dance floor. When doing lead/follow dancing, I generally talk with girls while I dance with them since they’re in my frame Freestyle is very problematic and caters to a SIW trope. Generally, I go cool off… Read more »
“the ones that care about age are just not that into you and that is the rationalization they are using (to themselves or just as an excuse to blow you off). If you had gamed them better, those too wouldn’t care about age. And the ones that didn’t care about age with you could meet a guy that they perceive as beta and then age suddenly matters”
This. It all comes down to giving them an emotional impact. Minus that, THEN they care about your shoes, belt/watch combination, age, job, looks etc.,
@cav
I’m an old fart and my looks are about a 5 as men see them. My wife says 7-8, but she has hubby goggles on, lol.
Disclaimer: My goal was to walk up to the fence. I am not as averse to extra-marital sex as I used to be, and I would probably pursue it if my wife went into full-time sexual retirement. I have been faithful to my marriage vows, and it would have to be an extraordinary opportunity. So, yes, I am aware that I am buffering as I see the laser focus that some men make and are still not met with success. Also, I am rarely let out of my cage, so I am in unfamiliar territory. Plus, I had to worry… Read more »
IF-I-Fell Welcome to the Game… so you are in the same purgatory that IAS was in… You want to practice, but you ruin into self limitations that have to equate to bad game, because you are not going to advance and escalate. So not much you can do more than you have, until some other girl is attracted more than you know and throws herself on you and makes it happen. LOL. So good stuff… You pushed your boundaries, you were a cool social guy People responded to you, you did some leading. Worst case, you have a better relationship… Read more »
blax, if even 75% went as smoothly as you wrote about big box girl, still in awe; some good shit no doubt I’ve really amped up my own ‘practice’ flirting with random girls I run across during the day. Just the other day, I’m in the bank, cute little teller with a bit of an attitude, early 20s. I very deliberately try negs, calling out her nonsense, etc. while we wait for a mgr approval for my transaction. She warms up quite perceptibly, even though I KNOW her co-workers were listening in. Then, out of fucking nowhere, some broad (one… Read more »
Now if you want to play at home… try pushing her off a bit… acting a bit distant… wistful…
Her Wife Go To Move(TM) is “Fuck Him Back Into Orbit”… when you don’t jump all over that well that really gets the hamster spun up big time…
If-I-Fell
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bBk2gd1Kfk
“A woman doesn’t know how attracted she is to you until she’s surprised by the sense of jealousy her DNA machinery manufactures for her when someone comes in to attempt to steal the girls investment in you’
@If-I-Fell: I could almost have written your FR. I think you share some of my sticking points, one of which is “picking a favorite” and then taking a sniper approach. I’m not saying to just go for the non-hotties, but were there no other hotties other than Jenny in that conference that you could try gaming on Day 2 onward? As for Jenny, I think at the elevator she could still have had high Buying Temperature and the quick departure might have been mate guarding herself (leaving in a hurry) instead of already placing you in the Beta slot in… Read more »
Just something I found out that I thought I’d share with the community about phones. One of the issues I have had in the past is that it’s easy to get girls numbers, but then they tend to stick you on Whatsapp and try screen you there, where you join her community of orbiters. The advice is to just use phones for bridging, which is good advice and I have used, but I realized that just by even using these apps you are putting yourself in the female frame. Recently I retired my smartphone (for other reasons), and went out… Read more »