For the past three years of The Rational Male there’s been a consistent presence in the comment threads of guys seeking advice for particular situations with regards to Game. Whether it’s fine tuning certain aspects of Game or a larger consensus of the guys participating in my comment threads it’s become obvious there’s a need for a dedicated page and comment thread to address these Field Reports.
So I’m instituting this page for exactly this. If there is some urgency to have members of The Rational Male community analyze your particular situation feel free to hit anyone up in the comments of my current post, but please refer them to your particular field report with a link to your comment here. I’m hoping this will alleviate the mass of posts for field report analysis and Game specific insights piled into the main blog post for any given week.
There will be some rules for this “forum” as such. I ask that you only keep your comments to addressing the field reports at hand and save your larger theoretical stuff for the main posts, or if relevant, keep the “bigger scope of things” posts to being as succinct as possible. There will be no moderation in this comment thread (spamming excepted), so realize it will be a very hot kitchen before you post. I will impose no restrictions on video links here, nor will I limit links to various, but pertinent articles.
Understand, this is an experiment for now. It’s likely this comment thread will exceed thousands of comments. I’ll be instituting new comment plug-ins for wordpress to deal with this in the future, but I may archive this page the the posts and refresh this page in the future as well. If this gets cumbersome I may simply institute a dedicated forum-style sub-site of The Rational Male to accommodate for Game specific questions.
So have at it, post your field reports and feel free to comment on the ones you have some particular insight for. Be forewarned that it’s likely things may get a bit salty at times and I expect a lot of back & forth with debate and disagreements, but that’s what this thread is for – to hash out Game particulars for your given situations.
IAS
@Black Pill: I’m confused. I thought from MM that you should open a set and give attention first to the ones that aren’t your target (men, less attractive girls).
Tapping her on the shoulder and asking a question without doing anything else = TOO MUCH ATTENTION…
Not what Mystery would do. Mystery would glide past… throw out some comment… gauge reactions… are there IOI’s or shit tests..? then come in with some body rocking and a false time constraint, THEN engage the non-target…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkX123MTq7o
This is Mystery doing MM….
[to group] “I never bothered to ask…. until this moment… WHY… is everyone wearing fucking white?”
[and rolls off]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EC8X-btgrzk
watch the whoooooole interaction here from 40:20 to 1:02… Really watch it like 10 times… watch the body language, the roll offs, the cadence, the tonality, the DHV stories, the negs, bouncing, kino more DHV etc…
@Culum @HABD..hmm. I wonder if I’m getting too pedantic about this, but clearly there IS a mindset which will view being rejected by some random chick as a “risk” – the FI mindset/where (to use your words) my MPO is in the girl (and places value on her rejection) and not in myself. true… buuut, that’s just the FI pushing on you… what is the ACTUALLY risk?… (kfg covers this upthread…lol) The point of so much of this process is to keep moving away from that. But the mindset exists, and most men are in it. true… but what is… Read more »
@ Culum It’s fine to dance if *you* enjoy it (which seems to be the case for you) but otherwise don’t waste your time… Dancing well is a DHV…and this leads us into Sentient’s comment… @Sentient Tapping her on the shoulder and asking a question without doing anything else = TOO MUCH ATTENTION… …so if you DHV by dancing well, you have created value in the whole room…which leads us back to your comment…dancing well is a useful tool for a man to have in his toolbox and is never a waste of time. …in fact, if a man thinks… Read more »
If you dance well, you can fuck up a whole lotta things without it handicapping your ability to get laid. Taking an improve class is also a self-improvement mission to add a useful skill to your social toolbox.
Fucking auto-correct…”improv class”
“He takes himself out of the “manly one-upsmanship” contest completely and his fruity vibe makes the masculine guy uncomfortable” I’m slight. I hang out at the corner bar which recieves a lot of biker dude traffic. It’s polite, but there’s an agressive vibe. Being too clean shaven, my only social “in” is to be quiet friendly to the guys, the women, lazer, cutsey negs, kino. Karaoke two weeks back. The biker gals were wild uninhibited by midnight, took Mrs. Eh into their clutch, and I did 80’s rock. at one pint outside tough guy decudes to give me marriage advice.… Read more »
@ Black Pill “…I’d be curious to see the commentary on the guy’s effeminacy, he broke my gaydar. But maybe that’s the way people in LA speak and dress. I dunno. As for the rest I believe he makes it work for him, would be keen to see him in action outside of a shitlib metropolis, say in a bar somewhere in Appalachia.” When YaReally and scray and myself were going ’round and ’round about violence/fighting and guys in clubs and what not, The underlying theme was to try and joke or goof your way out of a situation where… Read more »
Saturday FR: Went from 8:15 to 12:30. Right at the very beginning was when I had my first and only real interaction with a woman. It was a good interaction though. Basically, I was walking to the first bar I wanted to go to. I bumped hands with this latino chick, then looked over at her. She looked up at me and said I looked like a certain hollywood actor (its a fairly popular “teen drama” actor lol and its a comment i get a lot lol) and this started our interaction. We flirted pretty intensely. Within about 10 seconds… Read more »
*she said “haha just kidding you’d totally take me”
safespace
It’s really hard to explain lol. My motivation just took a shot. I don’t know why.
You got the payoff you were after…
Blax. That’s insightful since I’m seeing more of that. “a bouncer would always come to your rescue” Yeah, they have their incentives, and it isn’t necessarily aligned with yours. I’ve been set up for a fight, the bouncer was in on it, me trounced, thrown out and had a steak on my eye the next day, not recently though. Bouncers routinely cockblock, too. “Calibration is the best way to keep a fist out of your face.” This. All the trouble I’ve experienced stems from not calibrating the scene. Some deserved, some not. Doesn’t fucking matter. It’s incumbent upon me not… Read more »
@Safe She kept insisting that I get her friend a drink. I did not agree to this. She started to get a little stiff. I thought attraction was already there Your calibration-o-meter needs to be taken to the shop for repair. The girl was showing disinterest by being obnoxious…you could have said, “yeah, let’s get her drunk so that we can have a 3-some,” accompanied by a look of disbelief, then you backturn and go chat up someone else and maybe re-open later with something like, “I’m checking back in case you were just messing with me by asking me… Read more »
It never fails to give me a thrill…9:30 pm…dark…a blonde hottie with long, curly hair arrived at the Walmart door just before I did…I could see that she was hot without focusing on her, but I avoided evaluating her…she went in waving an ID and was watching me out of the corner of her eye…I followed, she stopped to look at lettuce and I went straight to get my stuff without turning my head…when I came out, maybe 10 min later, she was right behind me…as I was getting my stuff out of my cart, the hottie walked by…I saw… Read more »
Newbies: Follow on from YouTube after the Al Pacino video Sentient posted. You got to start with basics. Really. Just start with basic elements of masculine life. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8wVdB1yEzQ On his first point there “hell exists on earth? Yes. I’m not going to live in it!. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qa9dttNx1S8 Random comment on Youtube #1: He sells an idea. He perceives what the guy lacks in his life; confidence, freedom, indulgence. He embodies those concepts and acts like a life long buddy, a confidant, someone in front of which it’s okay to admit to having those desires. He’s not being cocky out of selfishness,… Read more »
Something was going on in Sergio Garcia’s head for decades and it related to Game. What the fuck was it? What the hell was going on his mind all these years? How can you not break through until now. Gotta be a blue pill mindset. Definitely not a Ricky Roma in Glengarry Glen Ross get it done thing. http://www.newyorker.com/news/sporting-scene/sergio-garcias-triumph-of-persistence By 2012, Garcia seemed to have given up any hope of winning a major. “I’m not good enough,” he told reporters at the Masters that year, after a poor third round knocked him out of contention. “I don’t have the thing… Read more »
@Safespace Pretend I’m your father and I don’t respect your State and Frame. Pump your state with this Blue Pill anthem with a good state next time you go out in the Badlands. No bullshit: But there’s one thing I know for sure Girl, I don’t give a damn For the same old played out scenes I don’t give a damn For just the in-betweens Honey I want the heart, I want the soul I want control right now Yeah, are you listening to me baby? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3hK8cijQug Bruce Springsteen – Badlands Lights out tonight Trouble in the heartland Got a… Read more »
Can anyone share any ideas/routines they have for things like assumptions/teasing/funny cold reads etc to help me build attraction (A2) I’ve already been testing out a small DHV routine, but I need other things for before and after, I think in relation to assumptions. Basically BT spikes and general ‘fun’ things to say – probably more so for the younger ADHD girls. Some that will work on a single set, and maybe other ones that I could make on a 2+ set to get the girls laughing I’ve not found much online that I actually like or that I think… Read more »
@theasdgamer – I never said dancing is for sissies or that it’s not a DHV. Doing *anything* well – enjoying yourself, being congruent, not try-hard, doing it for yourself (not to impress girls) is a DHV. That certainly includes dancing.
But it doesn’t work if it’s not coming from the right place and men assume it is the dancing which is the DHV, not the fact they enjoy it and are good at it etc.
@Cav – I have some standard stories (not routines as such – it’s more flexible) which are personalized to me (they are based on real events which happened to me, but embellished a bit). Way back in the day (over a decade ago) when I took a Mystery Method seminar, we spent a huge amount of time developing our own DHV stories based on our own experiences – as long as it fit in the MM framework. But they should be YOUR routines. That said, if you just want to copy a few routines and try them out as you… Read more »
@cav I read YaReally say that women always try take a first time conversation in a logical direction and that destroys attraction if you respond logically. This is absolutely true in my experience, and the #1 killer is ‘what do you do?’. I tried a few different responses to that, but lately what works great is ‘I sell drugs/heroin/meth to schoolkids’. You can riff on that for a while, tell them you have standards, won’t sell to anyone under the age of 4. When they insist on you telling them what you really do just flat out refuse, tell them… Read more »
thanks, guys. Yes, i’ve seen most of the little routines in MM and lovesystems. Was looking for more ideas. I’ll check out the scray FR’s. @blackpill – I find that IF i’m able to get to teh point where they are asking me questions, I naturally tend to give silly answers and stuff and can build a certain amount of attraction from that point. The problem is getting them interested enough in the first place to make them want to ask me stuff, and this seems to be where things like cold reads and teases etc help. Typically in infields… Read more »
@ cav Recent conversation with cute 17-20 y.o. waitress: Me: Your hair’s piled high. Hm. (Neutral comment, but I pointed out something about her, instigated conversation. She went for it.) Her: I’ll take that as a compliment. Me: Hah. Don’t flatter yourself. I’m calling you “beehive” from now on. Her: I’m still taking it as a compliment. Me: That thirsty for validation? Hahaha. Nice try. Oh and nice black Chuck Taylors (I’m walking out, put my black chuck next to hers, touch side of the shoes together). Look honey, we’re twins! Hahaha! At this point she was quietly frustrated, out… Read more »
Negs! Yay!
Her: Buy us drinks!
Me: Nah, only worthwhile women deserve my attention. Anyways your face makeup doesn’t match your neck. If I squint you look like a circus clown.
or: Anyways your bra padding’s uneven. It looks like you’re smuggling a lime and a coconut.
or: Anyways, I don’t know you. Like your hair and a good conditioner.
or: No thanks…but good one! Tell that one to the hole in your jeans/high riding panties/tramp stamp. Audition as a hair-band groupie lately?
@cav “Typically in infields they’ll open and just say some funny stuff (as opposed to an actual ‘DHV Story’) and then the girl is hooked. I just don’t seem able to do that stuff most of the time. Especially if the girl is super quiet and kind of seemed weirded out that i’ve approached her” Ya just open them with whatever you find funny about/on her or the situation) then transition to your DHV story via cold reads, free association, teasing. You’re gonna be doing most of the talking at the beginning so just keep going about whatever you find… Read more »
Cav I’ve not found much online that I actually like or that I think would get a food reaction Bzzzzzzz. If you are trying to get a “good reaction” you are in her frame and are putting yourself in a deficit from the go… Do you guys have a few in your back pocket that you re-use? “Hey” is a reliable opener. The opener is just the verbal start of your DHV’ing, your approach dynamics are all part of it, i.e. body language, eye contact, tonality and what she has observed of you up until this point (were you joking/talking… Read more »
@Sentient
But isn’t the point of routines etc that they have been field tested and tend to get a ‘good reaction’? For example, there was a pickup guy who used to always ‘cold read’ the girls and say they were like the powerpuff girls and and it always seemed to result in a BT spike, thus he kept using it.
@Cav:
Once upon a time there was a man whose refrigerator and cupboards were stuffed full of food, but he was missing one ingredient from all of his recipes – and so he went hungry in the midst of plenty.
@cav
http://yareallyarchive.com/2016/4/#comment-rationalmale-153288
“Your face makeup doesn’t match your neck.”
That’s a pretty savage neg. Great stuff.
Cav – that was a routine…
@sentient. I know. But i’m saying that you said that if your are saying something to get a good reaction, you are in her frame (bad), but then isn’t that what routines are for? To get a good reaciton?
PS – In that yareally link, he said everyone should have some great openers and stuff for thing like bachelorette parties and birthdays, but he didn’t give any examples. Anyone have some good ones?
@Cav my experience with A1-A3 is limited, but i’ve gone through it a bunch of times this past month. It can take between a few seconds to a few minutes, especially with shy non-talkative girls. The model I usually try to follow was taken from RSDJulien, where its like: – Do 90% of the talking – Ask basic questions and use the information she gives you to start new, more interesting convo threads that can give you more info for negs, teases, DHV stories, and other shit. – If she doesn’t say too much just assume stuff about her or… Read more »
@Cav. Yes – Sentient told you a couple. MM/Love Systems has plenty. @Hank holiday here has posted a bunch in this thread and the pre Field Report threads on old posts – some derived from MM and others of his own. Here’s one more link – this is about how to construct your own routines: http://www.seductionbase.com/seduction/cat/seductionfaq/Beginner/272.html What more do you want? What Sentient is trying to tell you is that the routines don’t matter – it’s the subcomms surrounding them that get the results. You can say literally anything with the right subcomms and get results – whether it is… Read more »
More stuff i stole from CH and others lol 1. Your hair looks shiny, is it a wig? Oh well it looks nice anyway 2. That’s lovely long hair – are they extensions? 3. I think your hair would look better up/down 4. Nice nails – are they acrylic. Oh, well they look good anyway. 5. Awww, how cute, your nose wiggles when you laugh – look there it goes again !!! 6. Is that your natural hair colour well its not bad So you changed it to that? 7. I like your look, beauty is common but you seem… Read more »
Cav – ” thus he kept using it.”
That’s what makes a routine… you’ve used it. You’ve gotten a set of repeated reactions… and you have experience dealing with those common repeated patterns… and the act of handling the patterns routinely is part of what is creating attraction… ironically, since he is floundering and not following his advice, safespace is right on with the structure of the magic trick… and this is what you want from your routine… the structure… understanding the why… then filling in the how.
Hello all – new here and wanted to share a field report with you all to get feedback. Met this girl (HB6) at a local bar and spent some time together with her and her friend. Good chemistry, convo flowing easy, and I was focusing on her friend intentionally and play her off of HB6. We danced at two different places but overall I wasn’t that interested which I think she realized when I was walking away from her with her friend as she was getting into a Uber when she blurts out, “Hey, you didn’t get my number?” She… Read more »
@CatchersIndifference – umm..it *was* going your way. All you needed to do was reach out an arm, pull her into you on the couch (gently), start making out and bang her. She was absolutely ready. You just chose not to do it – the two feet away was meaningless – it’s just some residual ASD/deniability – she needed you to make the last move. Pretty much everything she did was telegraphing “bang me” – both at her house and before. I suspect the window has closed with this girl, but if she’s *really* attracted to you, it may be worth… Read more »
@catchers
Her: “What about a really good date?”
Me: “Well, this one is pretty good so far …”
Her: “Good answer.”
This should be in reverse lol.
Dinner, car, talking about ‘dates’, shes already slotted you in the provider category. Not the place you want to be if you want hot passionate sex from girls. Read up on Alpha fux Beta bux. Welcome to TRM.
Good luck.
A bit of stream of consciousness FR but I want to put here as I think it will help me sleep. So I found a place to go tonight. Unlike what my research kind of indicated, the place was tiny and not many people in it. It was some guys, 2 girls in one corner, 3 or 4 girls in the dance floor intermittently, and a set with one guy, one older man and 2 or 3 women (which looked over 30 I guess). I think when I got there it was almost as many women as men or even… Read more »
@IAS – *90%* sure??? Lol – what do you need to be 100%??? I think now I understand what HABD and Sentient feel like when reading my FRs – talk about the FI being pervasive.. Seriously though – congratulations. Great job on going solo, opening, talking (in an unfamiliar language) and escalating on the IOIs this time. Good job on screening and getting her to chase you too. You’re clearly improving. Keep doing this and you’ll keep getting better and better, but at some point you’re going to have to decide if you really want to go the full f-close… Read more »
@IAS Thanks for the morning LOL. Great job on the effort in Game. See that wasn’t so hard to go out and Game, was it? Notice how you were goal directed (exploring an interesting club venue like a tourist)? So you got out of your head and performed? “So, I’m kind of freaked out about the experience. It certainly vividly confirms several things you guys have reported which I already believed in, but I guess it is always different seeing / living it in first person.” Come on, man. You are admitting that you haven’t actually swallowed and digested the… Read more »
@cav
Good reactions require her to qualify to you, a game of wits, forces uncomfortable mental Jiu-jitsu. Increased tension, leading her in conversation, playfully, sexualizing subtly.
Women are masters of the unsaid, covert. If you speak womanese, with masculine aggression that’s attractive. Hence, lazing is powerful womanese. Nothing said, everything said. It’s not creepy, it works.
Then again full on aggression has worked too. “Let’s make out.”
I’m no PUA but this is the idea.
IAS
Well done… tell me, is that wry writing style intentional? Either way it’s good, but if it is not, it’s hilarious as well…
Remember https://therationalmale.com/2016/03/07/ghosting/#comment-144464
Slippery slope is slippery because “erection”… If she was a 24YO 7.5…???? Hmmmmm…..
Go back over your FR with a Game eye and pick out the WHY it all came together like that… all you noobs should… Learn, don’t just tag along…
Really good read
http://postgradcasanova.com/4-things-before-sex/
@cav welcome… here’s quick summary on pua… think of it like this… girls have two parts of their brains – forebrain and hindbrain (with Hamster Power ™…lol)… the forebrain is where their personality lives, and their hindbrain is tasked with working out reproduction opportunities… ideally with an alpha stud… sooo, if you approach a hottie, you need to essentially distract her forebrain, while you ‘negotiate’ a sexual encounter directly with her hindbrain (covertly via subcomms…)… then her hamster will be your friend and make it ‘just happen’… as you LEAD her to that conclusion… how you ‘distract’ her forebrain is… Read more »
….the purpose of a ‘routine’ (as Sentient points out) is to give you some structure in that interaction… bc at base, they really are all about the same pattern… which is why Mystery could deconstruct/reverse engineer the process… … the only thing missing is you taking more action… I think now I understand what HABD and Sentient feel like when reading my FRs – talk about the FI being pervasive.. frustrating right?…lol… What seems to keep coming up here is “Resistance”. Rugby just dropped a link to a Steven Pressfield essay in the anger bias. Steven Pressfield is an author/artist.… Read more »
how many ways are there for your subcomms to tell her hindbrain ‘let’s f*k!’ Example 1. In town, so catch and release at most… Out with the WK bud. We are at a cool bar with a great view of the full moon rising. He goes off to use the bathroom, I am waiting for the bartender, place is pretty quiet but he is backed up anyway. There is a hightop table behind me with a guy and a girl, mid 20’s ish couple. They are facing each other. Girl is cute, maybe 7. Guy is ok looking, maybe a… Read more »
@Sentient In town, so catch and release at most Haha, love your expressions…catch and release is fun, too–especially when you do it in front of the missus with one of your female cousins…I have some hot cousins and had great fun flirting with one of them. They show some wrinkles when they smile, but all have great bone structure. 40s to early 50s, trim, and very feminine. 2nd cousins–it wasn’t creepy There were three of them and they all responded like they found the whole thing weird. I was in town for a funeral. I am not close to any… Read more »
@HABD in terms of whether she WANTS to f*k you, a k-close is the SAME as her wanting you to f-close her I rarely disagree with you–this may be a first. Girls like to play the cocktease game and a kiss-close may just be a cocktease move. You can beat the cocktease, but you have to confuse her forebrain…for example, indicate disinterest when she expects you to show interest…this makes her chase harder to win her game…and her chasing harder gives her sexbrain more leeway to “turn off” her cockblocking, cockteasing forebrain… …if you suspect a cocktease, make her chase… Read more »
@Culum Struan @j @having a bad day First of all, thanks for your feedback as it has been a great learning experience and I appreciate you all taking the time to give me advice. That field report happened a month or so ago and I knew that I had room to improve and your thoughts validated those thoughts. @Culum Struan I appreciate you putting context around the experience I described as it helps me to better understand the dynamic between the two of us in the moment. After that date she went out of town for a week and I… Read more »
@catchers
I was talking about disqualifying yourself as a provider.
‘Hangout’ > ‘date’
“drinks” > “dinner”
Having her meet u at the location > picking her up in your car
SNL or Day2 lay > Day 3 +
The exchange i highlighted was a good opportunity to drop a DHV sexual story about a date you had with another girl as opposed to qualifying yourself to her.
It’s these little tweaks that make all the difference.
@Everyone: I appreciate your support. I was expecting some ribbing from you guys on the fact it was an older woman but you are very forgiving in that respect ahah. BTW she asked my age near the end and I told her thirty and she was wide-eyed and said “Really?” (I’m mid-thirties actually but I guess probably she had a mini-fantasy about younger men so why not indulge her a bit more). @Culum and HABD, re: the 90% thing. I read several FRs and such and I think state can break when you try to pull for many reasons. I… Read more »
“Was really interesting how that dog was responding to me.’ the one in the yoga pants or on the leash? why is it interesting? dogs have 20,000+ years of following men’s orders. they ping off the alpha man every ten seconds to see if he’s satisfied. this is totally normal because when it’s you and a woman there you are the alpha man. “She was projecting her desire onto you and trying to mateguard herself.” or maybe she was just out for a walk on a nice day. just because a woman leaves the house doesn’t mean she’s looking for… Read more »
@fleezer “Now she has Plausible Deniability ™. Totally failing at her self mateguarding attempt, tho, lol.” how did she fail? did she get fucked? no. did she set up a later meeting to get fucked? no. did she say something like, “I always walk my dog at this time on the weekdays”? no. did she move the interaction forward in any way? no. did she sexualize in any way? no. verdict: normal human interaction. I almost missed your comment because you didn’t address me. The girl was following a man. This is part of the mating dance. Following = submission.… Read more »
“The girl was following a man.” she used to follow her daddy around. she didn’t want to fuck him. she used to follow her big brother around. she really really didn’t want to fuck him. ” Maybe you miss the subtle nonverbal signals?” maybe. but the only nonverbal that counts for me is her being open for escalating kino. no mention of “incidental” hand contact or any contact at all. they always find a way to touch what they want. that’s why when selling trinkets to a woman you always make her hold it/wear it while you close the sale.… Read more »
@fleezer I bet the best puas open a hundred sets before they pull once. I think that Krauser, who runs daygame, has it more like 1 in 8. YaReally probably gets 1 in 4. Blax and Ton probably have women throwing themselves at them. a shitload of girls are good with cumming once or twice a week. lol, depends on how hot the man is…Mrs. Gamer, when she’s not unhappy that she’s in love with me, flirts with me morning to evening…”flirts” = messes with my cock when I’m around her…she’s DTF anytime I am no matter how busy she… Read more »
@asdgamer I rarely disagree with you–this may be a first. you’re just SAYING you disagree…lol… bc then you go and explain how to turn a kiss/cocktease into a bang…lol Girls like to play the cocktease game and a kiss-close may just be a cocktease move. cocktease = shit test… to a girl’s hindbrain… if she is willing to kiss you, her hindbrain wants the D… you just have to convert… which as you point out just takes solid game… good luck! —– @Catcher @having a bad day I’m not familiar with the term FI – what does it stand for?… Read more »
“sexual is sexual…”
. . . and kissing is not sexual, it is relational. Some girls who are DTF you will be creeped out at the very idea of kissing you. Some girls need at least an illusion of relationship to be DTF, so kissing will provide that, because it is boyfriend/provider activity.
@fleezer “The girl was following a man.” she used to follow her daddy around. she didn’t want to fuck him. she used to follow her big brother around. she really really didn’t want to fuck him. Well, if you had read it charitably, you’d have read what I wrote as “The girl was following a strange man.” Daddy, boss, big brother aren’t strange men. but the only nonverbal that counts for me is her being open for escalating kino. You are a natural who has a set of skills that gets him laid. Those skills apparently don’t include calibrating a… Read more »
@kfg
. . . and kissing is not sexual, it is relational.
So you frenched your mother? P lol
FR As mentioned in my last FR one of the many things I’ve been working on is my dancing ability. That being said, I’ve been going to a couple different bars locally that have plenty of available women and good dancing. Up until recently I’ve been focused, for better or worse, solely on the dancing but enjoying the benefits of the arrangement by testing and learning two nights a week for the past six to eight weeks. This night in particular the venue had a great line-up, it wasn’t too crowded, and the girl to guy ratio was the best… Read more »
“So you frenched your mother?”
It’s called “kiss feeding.”
https://infogalactic.com/info/Kiss
@kfg
“. . . and kissing is not sexual, it is relational. Some girls who are DTF you will be creeped out at the very idea of kissing you. Some girls need at least an illusion of relationship to be DTF, so kissing will provide that, because it is boyfriend/provider activity.”
huh… learn something new every day…lol… but that makes sense… and clears up a couple other observational discrepancies… so kissing is just another calibration tool instead of ‘always on’…
f*kin’ FI was pushing on me… lol… I hate that shit…
good luck!
@kfg
Some girls who are DTF you will be creeped out at the very idea of kissing you.
Maybe if she has bad breath or if you have bad breath…I don’t understand why a girl who wants to fuck you wouldn’t want to kiss you…during sex, girls often want to kiss…what am I missing? Maybe if a man is pug-ugly a girl won’t want to kiss him, but she wants his dick.
“…during sex, girls often want to kiss…”
While you’re fucking her, she’s making love. She’ll probably want to coo and cuddle after, then fill your bathroom with junk.
“…what am I missing?”
What kissing is about.
Post-FR update: I think I got labial herpes (already got some anti-viral). I didn’t mention it before but I got a tingly sensation right after the makeout (still in the club). Thought that was quite fast and that it was psychosomatic but apparently not. I did check for sores before kissing, but it is contagious without sores.
Not kissing my wife for a while until I’m sure, regardless. I guess I got something to remember for the rest of my life!
BTW, I think some of you are doctors here. From my knowledge it is only contagious through skin contact, so catching it from some innocuous source isn’t a bluff option. Any ideas on how to approach the issue with the wife (later today)?
There’s too many of you to quote/thank/respond too in relation to my last depressing ‘Field report’ where I got blown out by that ugly girl when I wasn’t even trying to pull her which messed up my night, lol. I recently watched some infields from Alex who used to be an RSD instructor and is one of the most experiences PUA coaches in the world, up there with Tyler, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that he often gets horrible reactions (girls ignoring his opener etc). Made me feel slightly better. Anyway, here’s why I’m posting. You may remember… Read more »
@IAS – I’m no doctor (wait for SJF) but I can google like anyone else. Most likely psychosomatic. Very much doubt it is oral herpes – google suggests incubation period is 2-12 days, with most people averaging 3-6 days. In any case, something like 60-80% of the population has it (the virus, not necessarily the symptoms). Even if you do have it, how do you know you got it from the makeout? In all likelihood you already had it. It’s not routinely tested when going for STD tests (not unless you have symptoms) so it’s not like you can even… Read more »
Kissing – depends on the mood and the situation. Believe it or nah, kissing is an intimate act. Some girls, especially SNL girls and prostitutes don’t view all sexual contact as intimate ( I know, right?).
For a stranger female that is dtf, you might be viewed like a warm dildo with a man attached to it.
@Pitbikemike – no feathers ruffled don’t worry. Even the people who fought with YaReally here acknowledged his mastery of pickup stuff – the arguments weren’t about that. Yeah, his stuff is great. Completely changed how I understood pickup and social dynamics in general (not to mention how he and HABD saved me from a narrow brush with a potential FRA in 2015). That’s why I constantly refer to his posts and advice whenever I give advice now – the guy really has covered most points that come up in his archive – it’s just a question of finding it and… Read more »
PS – The other interesting thing about Scray is that he’s a good example of internalizing Game principles and making them congruent to your personality. You’ll see from the early FRs that he was a full-on routines guy in the classic MM mould..but as he got better he internalized the principles and adapted his Game to his personality and he ended up with much more of a brooding, direct “natural game” type vibe – you’d never have thought so from his earlier posts, but he evolved into what was most congruent to him – that’s what is *supposed* to happen.… Read more »
Cheers, Culum. Hmmm…..I assumed Scrays later FR’s would be in the archive, but as you say, I might have to dig through the old comments here to see what his more recent FR’s looked like. I really enjoy his writing style. I legit laughed out loud a few times last night when I was reading some of his FR’s from the archive. (in fact, it’s a pdf someone made from the archive, so it might not include the more recent stuff) He’s still not getting laid with the ones i’m reading, but he also appeared to start from a half… Read more »
Oh, and the FR’s under the field reports section on this site seem to start on Dec4th 2016?
How do I find ones from before?
@Pitbikemike – there aren’t that many FRs from Scray after he “made it” – he posted a few for illustrative purposes or to ask YaReally for advice on advanced concepts but his later stuff isn’t really FRs – I think he’d reached a point where he was able to self-diagnose most mistakes (not that he didn’t make them – just that he could figure it out himself). And yes you’re right – while he was a newbie in terms of girls, I don’t think he was ever lacking in basic social skills – there are much harder cases in the… Read more »
Ahhh…I see. Yeah, that could be a nuisance, but i’ll see if I can find one or 2 FR’s from around the time he was certainly capable and getting results. And yeah, I was reading one of his First FR’s earlier (well, a few months in) and even though he wasn’t pulling, he actually seemed to be somewhat of a natural. It seems as though Yareally seemed to basically endorce/approve of most of the things he’d say in his FR’s Anyway,thanks. ps – any thoughts on my other query from above regarding that girl that I might bump into tomorrow… Read more »
I wouldn’t worry too much about it. If you ran everything in your Game arsenal, then you ran everything in your Game arsenal. Talk to her if you want (especially if you think the logistics can work to pull her), or just acknowledge her with a glance and do your own thing. The most important thing is that she should see you being social and talking to girls and having a good time – ie, everything you should be doing whether she is there or not. You want to confirm her impression that she should be attracted to you. If… Read more »
@Culum: Makeout was Tuesday night so under 48 hours (timezones) and I did get a tingly sensation minutes after it which doesn’t make sense in any case (maybe just my toothpaste reacting with her mints). A close family member has it with some sores occasionally, but until Tuesday the only one I ever kissed on the mouth was my wife so if I did get it, 99% sure it was from the makeout. I swear I feel an odd sensation in parts of my lips, where I spot some different texture as well. If it is psychosomatic as I hope,… Read more »
@IAS – you know you can get it (and kids frequently do) from stuff like your grandparents kissing you on the cheek etc? It doesn’t have to be a sexual makeout.
I strongly suspect this is a psychological reaction to the first time you’ve ever gone as far as you did with the makeout.
“I swear I feel an odd sensation in parts of my lips, where I spot some different texture as well. If it is psychosomatic as I hope, it is impressive what how our brains can fool us this well (but then again we are evolved for pattern recognition even if there is no actual pattern there). SJF if you see this, is there any other kissable transmitted infection that could match the lip sensations and act faster than the 2 day incubation?” No. Not really. And the timing suggests psychosomatic. Did you actually get a cold sore blister? My impression… Read more »
@Culum and SJF: really appreciate it. I guess I wasn’t feeling the guilt one way and this is possibly me feeling guilty another way. Children with dynamite, Sentient’s slippery slope post and all that. I’ll continue to apply anti-viral until I can figure it out. I don’t have a cold sore blister, just a couple of tiny patchy regions on the upper lip (or maybe I’m also seeing things). But I’ll tell my wife I’m not kissing her for now and deflect her asking why as herpes not making sense unless I got it from my family member, without needing… Read more »
IAS – LOL…. CHillaxxxxx… First if you felt tingling during the first kiss it is more likely because this thing was brewing and the act of pushing on your lips is what you felt tingling… Second – your head space is not good… this can result in hives etc. from your guilt or concern… I’m 50/50 over when you see your wife you crack and confess the whole episode. Most guys just aren’t built to compartmentalize. Not a value judgement mind you, just a fact. This time with her will be telling as to how you grow in the future.… Read more »
@IAS – btw, it’s perfectly natural to have this reaction. You’ll get over it. The reason I know all this stuff without being a doctor is that I freaked out twice about the risks even without being married. Once when I had my first SNL, and a few years later when I met this woman in my swinger days and went in raw and came inside her etc (with her husband watching etc). Stupid, but was super hot. Anyway I obsessively researched STDs after both those occasions – got to the point where I was looking up the statistics on… Read more »
@IAS
Any ideas on how to approach the issue with the wife (later today)?
How does it help you to bring up the subject? Maybe it’s your obsession, but if your wife doesn’t bring it up, why wake sleeping dogs?
Sentient to IAS: CHillaxxxxx… ..your head space is not good… this can result in hives etc. from your guilt or concern… I’m 50/50 over when you see your wife you crack and confess the whole episode. Most guys just aren’t built to compartmentalize. Not a value judgement mind you, just a fact. This time with her will be telling as to how you grow in the future. Very important points that Sentient is making. Your head-space is not good. Meaning your fore-brain (cognitive thinking, including Buffering thoughts) is competing with your hind brain (your heart and soul in a metaphoric… Read more »
I was talking to commenter Roused a couple weeks ago and he was having his Blue Pill self trying to snatch his Red Pill self from the jaws of victory in relationship game with a LTR and also spinning plates. And the exact advice I gave him was that he has to compartmentalize these things. His vestigial Blue Pill Self was conflation things that should have been compartmentalized with proper Red Pill Game. Or to take if further Machiavellian Amoral Game.
Regarding STDs and statistics Let’s say that you have a 0.03% chance of catching an STD from any given sexual partner. Let’s say that you have had 140 sexual partners. The odds of you NOT catching an STD are 35%. You have a 65% chance of having HIV. 1 in 7 people infected with HIV don’t know that they are infected. “Genital herpes is extremely common, with up to one in four adults who are sexually active having genital herpes, although approximately 80% remain unaware that they are infected.” https://www.herpes.org.nz/patient-info/herpes-relationships/ Maybe some day scientists will find a link between herpes… Read more »
oops…
“have a 65% chance of having HIV.”
should have read
“have a 65% chance of having an STD.”
Cervical cancer is VERY deadly.
I’m not even a statistics guy, but even I can drive a truck through this. First, where do you get the 0.03% figure from (I suspect the real figure is way, way lower if you are talking about random sampling of all adults in the United States)? Second, what does it mean? Do you mean 0.03% of people HAVE STDs right now (not had in the past – that’s a different and larger figure)? Do you mean 0.03% is the odds of actually getting an STD (even if you sleep with someone who has an STD – right now, not… Read more »
^ Fake News
Theasdgamer not Culum lol
@Culum I’m not even a statistics guy, but even I can drive a truck through this. First, where do you get the 0.03% figure from (I suspect the real figure is way, way lower if you are talking about random sampling of all adults in the United States) “Estimated number of Americans living with an STD: 65 million Number of new cases of STDs every year: 19 million Number of Americans who will get an STD in their lifetime: 1 in 4 Number of unsafe sexual contacts it takes to get an STD: 1 Number of Americans who have genital… Read more »
There are SIGNIFICANT racial discrepancies as regards STDs…whites and Asians have the lowest rate. Hispanics are next, with blacks having the highest rates. There are also significant sexual variations in rates of infection–men are infected at a much lower rate than women. Straight white men have the lowest rates of STDs. Simply being a straight white man is value in women’s eyes because that group has the lowest STD rates. So, if you stick with white and asian women, your odds of getting an STD go down substantially. If you avoid hookers and strippers, even more. If you use a… Read more »
@Culum PS – You did realize that your scary herpes = cancer article is from *1982* right? I can’t be bothered to look, but I have a sneaking suspicion that the science on this subject may have moved on a bit since then. Here’s something recent on HPV and cervical cancer “A few types of HPV are the main causes of cervical cancer” “HPVs also have a role in causing some cancers of the penis” “Other genital infections may also increase the risk that HPV will cause cancer.” “[Epstein-Barr Virus] is a type of herpes virus. It is probably best… Read more »
@Theasgamer
How do you avoid kissing a potential sarge??
Don’t you need to ladle some of your testosterone into her with a helping of saliva to get her into the mood??
Doesn’t this fuck it up for the fugly PUA types? Or are they the ones spreading disease after all?
@Yollo
How do you avoid kissing a potential sarge??
Sometimes girls don’t need to kiss, per kfg…I keep wine in my truck….wine kills viruses quite nicely…perfect for disinfecting the mouth…beer doesn’t have enough alcoholic content to kill viruses quickly
Doesn’t this fuck it up for the fugly PUA types? Or are they the ones spreading disease after all?
I have no idea.
“How do you avoid kissing a potential sarge??”
By not kissing her.
“Don’t you need to ladle some of your testosterone into her with a helping of saliva to get her into the mood??”
No, although it can make it easier with the types who have to cast the interaction as “love.” What you need is kino.
“Doesn’t this fuck it up for the fugly PUA types?”
No.
C’mon man. 1. You haven’t actually explained what the 0.03% *is* – what exactly is it a chance of? You can’t claim your original number was low, if you won’t say what your original number was actually meant to represent. 2. Nor have you sourced it, which leads me to assume you just made it up. That’s okay – it’s fine to use a made up number for illustrative purposes when making an argument – but you need to be careful not to build an edifice of seemingly solid numbers and odds on top of it. 3. Yes, there are… Read more »