Field Reports

lion-chasing-gazelle

For the past three years of The Rational Male there’s been a consistent presence in the comment threads of guys seeking advice for particular situations with regards to Game. Whether it’s fine tuning certain aspects of Game or a larger consensus of the guys participating in my comment threads it’s become obvious there’s a need for a dedicated page and comment thread to address these Field Reports.

So I’m instituting this page for exactly this. If there is some urgency to have members of The Rational Male community analyze your particular situation feel free to hit anyone up in the comments of my current post, but please refer them to your particular field report with a link to your comment here. I’m hoping this will alleviate the mass of posts for field report analysis and Game specific insights piled into the main blog post for any given week.

There will be some rules for this “forum” as such. I ask that you only keep your comments to addressing the field reports at hand and save your larger theoretical stuff for the main posts, or if relevant, keep the “bigger scope of things” posts to being as succinct as possible. There will be no moderation in this comment thread (spamming excepted), so realize it will be a very hot kitchen before you post. I will impose no restrictions on video links here, nor will I limit links to various, but pertinent articles.

Understand, this is an experiment for now. It’s likely this comment thread will exceed thousands of comments. I’ll be instituting new comment plug-ins for wordpress to deal with this in the future, but I may archive this page the the posts and refresh this page in the future as well. If this gets cumbersome I may simply institute a dedicated forum-style sub-site of The Rational Male to accommodate for Game specific questions.

So have at it, post your field reports and feel free to comment on the ones you have some particular insight for. Be forewarned that it’s likely things may get a bit salty at times and I expect a lot of back & forth with debate and disagreements, but that’s what this thread is for – to hash out Game particulars for your given situations.

 

16,781 comments on “Field Reports

  1. Rollo, kindly have a look at some additional stats from Gallup polls
    https://twitter.com/mattyglesias/status/1364226590423490561/photo/1

    “62 percent of women without children under the age of 18 prefer to work outside the home.
    “23 percent of men surveyed preferred to don the homemaker role in marriages”.

    Also have a look at this study from the American compass
    https://americancompass.org/essays/home-building-survey-part-1/
    https://americancompass.org/essays/home-building-survey-part-2/

    Just some food for thought, I guess. Make your own decisions from this stuff.

  2. Hey guys, I am rookie in this whole red pill awareness and like everyone one else I wished I knew about this 20 years ago. I started my MAP in November 2020 and although I did sensed a good response at the beginning (sex improved, quantity and quality) I have obviously lost my frame along the way.

    Her kryptonite? she responded to my actions exactly the same way I was behaving. I started working out, she did the same thing. I removed my attention because I was setting boundaries, she did the same way; I started putting myself first, and she just isolated herself. Basic routine, she goes to work, comes back, cooks, wash dishes and lay on the bed for the rest of the day looking at her phone. Last night I told her that she should spend more time with the kids and not isolate herself so much. Obviously I was blamed for everything (now expected thanks to my small yet effective red pill training) so i was able to control myself and not make it a huge fight like I would’ve done before.
    Although I can stay calm, I still did not solve anything. We still walked away not talking to each other and I know i was not able to center her into my frame.

    I understand now that my lack of male leadership is a big part of the problem but I am also starting to feel like we have so much baggage in our 15 year marriage I don’t think my wife will ever see me as her best option. In my opinion, her brain is telling her I am, but her nature is telling her I am not so she responds accordingly.

    I made a 6 month MAP to measure if I am able to change myself (thus change our relationship) and although I am happy with MY results, I am aware I am not getting the results I was hoping for relationship-wise. My set deadline is end of May. I will then asses my situation but if I was to decide today I would get a divorce. We have our ups and downs and we are both getting tire of the situation.

    Knowing that my case is not unique, I was wondering if someone knew of a field report i can read to get some advise. Thank you!

    1. MAP… Male Action Plan from Athol Kay.

      The old rubric on that forum was one year of MAP for each year of relationship, so uou are still a year off.

      You are at the phase where you shouldn’t be thinking about her at all. Focus on you and doing things hiu want.

      How do you get a cat to chase a string?

      You pull it away. So go engage in your hobbies/pursuits/me time OUTSIDE the house, preferably where there are hotter younger women around and continue to work on your frame and leadership when inside the house.

      You have a long way to go. Eventually dread will be your friend and she will get moving when she sees other girls more interested in you.

      You’re not going to turn things around so quickly. You need to act and BECOME someone she is attracted to. Then she will change.

      1. Right now you are in the middle of a massive frame battle

        IF she is even noticing you at all that is.

        Pump the brakes sparky.

      2. The old rubric on that forum was one year of MAP for each year of relationship, so uou are still a year off.

        Typo that matters: one month of MAP per year of relationship.

        Remember that actions speak louder than words, her hindbrain is “speaking” to you through her words, talking to her is just so much noise in a lot of cases.

        She flops onto a bed or couch on her phone? You go with the kids, take then out of the house to do something. Just walk, or do something in a park. Ignore noise from her, do what’s right for kids and yourself & enjoy yourself in the process. See how long that goes on before she re-engages with them.

        Acta, non verba.

        PS: Do not be butthurt. Do not be bitter. All that stuff just riles you up and has no useful effect on her.

    2. Also weigh in on your background

      How many women prior to her

      Any relationships

      Kids

      How old is she, her background

      Finances, work issues?

      Health hygiene issues?

      Sex issues?

      How autistic are uou 1 to 10?

      AK had a whole triage thingy

  3. Ok so I have to step in and ask opinions of the boys.

    I’ve worked for the last 3-4 years with the sole purpose of understanding game and getting with younger women. The intention was to gain access and just spin plates, buy a bigger boat, and party. In the current context, that’s a bit hollow.

    The RD has arrived on the scene; and I have to differentiate oneitis against a pragmatic appraisal of what’s on offer, whether In fact it is on offer, and whether I want what’s on offer.

    She arrives again on Friday for almost a week of hanging out with me.. to do this she has paid for tickets in both directions and about 15 hours travel in each direction. All to come here. To a quarantined existence. We still can’t leave the house, nothing is open; so she’s going to lie to everyone official, risk fines etc… to come to fuck me. And it will be great.

    I forget the word @Blaximus used to use which meant basically checking them out and making sure you had a good one. Of course you have to watch for that pedestal, and oneitis – which I’m very aware of,

    However – She is a low N count – I’m 2 or 3 – which im very aware means she can still pair bond – highly intelligent medical doctor who has trained as a professional ballet dancer. Ok they’re all just girls, but this one hasn’t ridden the carousel, and has a strong father.

    Against this backdrop I have always wanted more children.

    Bottom line is I’d like to keep her around, and from what I’ve read of game, the age difference is of no consequence, actually the age difference shaming is a social construct and with 5 minutes of alpha being better than 5 years of beta regardless of age; it should be a done deal if that’s what I want.

    So I want it, and I think that if I just continue to dominate regardless of anything else she’ll stick around regardless. Ie, she has no choice bc attraction is not a choice for her.

    Thoughts please.

    1. Quick answer – keep her around but go get three more.

      You’ve spent how much time together? A month? Six weeks total?

      Waaaaay too short.

      And don’t let the false scarcity of COVID world influence your decision making.

      Her girl game is 💪 💪 this is how it happens!

      More tomorrow

  4. Palma

    “Thoughts please”

    Mrs Box and I celebrate 40th aniversary this year. She was 23 when we hooked up , I veted her for ride or die tendencies.

    First there is the trditional weding deal , then the split personality -insecurity of a pregers woman next post partum depression and ways to raise a child discussions. At this point she will have frame , you will need to work to shift it back and keep it , frame that is.

    When she hits menopause you will be 78 , her running around in pigtails fucking up carrot cakes will become a royal pain in the arse.

    Then there is the college fund.

    When the kid goes off to college you will be 73 , know any 73 yo dads w43 yo wives to compare to?

    She will most definitely alienate your existing son and cut him out of the will.

    I am writing this mostly for myself as I still have the same urge to “knowing what I know now take another shot at the happy familly life”.

    If I get out of this alive I am headed down to daytona florida , moving in next door to my old drinking buddy Big Al , we are going to sit on the beach and figure out how to bang 20 yo hotties and not get hitched for sure I swear never again.

    I love you buddy dont do it!!!!!!

  5. …insecurity of a pregers woman next post partum depression and ways to raise a child discussions

    When a woman “plans”, I become wary. Women as a gender do not have capacity for long term planning, but women mimic they can though to achieve goals like getting married (at late 20’s “Where is this going?”), getting commitment. So, it means you do not have frame.

    If I get out of this alive I am headed down to daytona florida , moving in next door to my old drinking buddy Big Al , we are going to sit on the beach and figure out how to bang 20 yo hotties and not get hitched for sure I swear never again.

    I approve.

  6. @Stuffinbox

    I said keep her around – not marry her!

    we are going to sit on the beach and figure out how to bang 20 yo hotties

    I’ve literally spent the last 3 years doing that – what you gonna do when you manage to bang one – be careful what you wish for – there’s no going back to coach after you’ve travelled first class dontyaknow.. lol..

    When I moved to where I live now for the first time after my divorce ten years ago I was still seeing my son regularly. We walked to my local park and this guy was there:

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Stringfellow

    He was more or less our equivalent of Hefner.

    He was with what I thought were his two young daughters who were messing around on a kids roundabout. My son jumped on it and started to talk to them. Doing the math from the Wikipedia they must have been 3 or 4 years old but I’m convinced they were slightly older, and one must have been someone else’s bc they were both girls and my son was 13 ish.

    I’m sitting on a bench some way away watching from a distance as my son jumps on this roundabout and starts spinning it and the young girls are squealing “faster faster” so my son is spinning it faster, and really it’s getting a bit too fast but I’m letting it run, and I’m watching Stringfellow who is next to the roundabout expecting him to “get snotty” or “tell” my son to slow down in the way that arsehole helicopter parents around here are likely to.

    The prospect is already getting my back up, and I’m getting ready to intervene and tell Stringfellow to piss off.

    But it didn’t happen, he handled it perfectly, as the roundabout was moving he smiled at my son and said “what’s your name young man?” And my son replied “Alfie”, to which Stringfellow said “nice to meet you Alfie, do you think we could slow it down a little bit? It’s just that the girls are a bit young and they’re having fun but it’s a bit quick for them”

    My son said “ok” and slowed it down and then Stringfellow said “thanks” and chatted to him for a bit.

    So now compare Stringfellow with any “normal” parent.

    The normal parent would have probably been hysterically neurotic about anything on the roundabout or not paying attention to start with.

    I don’t even want to think about the neurotic outcome.

    If they weren’t paying attention it would have likely gone too fast and there would have been an accident, or if they suddenly realised it was moving too fast they would have panicked / got snotty / shouted “slow down” or similar which may or may not have led to the desired outcome because my son may have smirked and spun it up faster just for the shit of it.

    The parent may or may not have tried to physically slow it down which would almost certainly have resulted in a physical fracas because at the very least my son would have come off balance at any dramatic speed change. All in all the situation would likely have gone wrong and been confrontational.

    All in all it would have been a fucked up interaction. And that’s what I see with 99.999% of LTR’s – fucked up interactions. It’s no surprise the participants are miserable and sexless.

    Now look at how Stringfellow handled it:

    He was paying attention
    He was not in a hurry
    He saw in advance that it was likely to move too fast / possibly go wrong
    He had the time to ask my sons name in a polite and friendly manner
    Once he had his name he made a polite and reasoned request to slow it down a bit
    Once it had slowed down he continued to shoot the breeze with my son

    All in all it was perfectly executed. He got his desired outcome – which was more or less the story of his life.

    I’ve repeated that because that’s ^^ the way I feel about women now. I just spot everything, and I see the RP motivations in advance of them happening and I generally just smile and handle anything that comes my way.

    I feel that I’ve basically achieved amused mastery. I don’t have to think about or analyse anything anymore, It’s all totally transparent to me and my response is automatic.

    She looks at my scars where I’ve been stitched up, and comments that she would have expected the redness to have disappeared by now (I see in real time that it’s a shit test – she’s pinging to see if I’m panicking about the potential outcome) and I shrug it and say “it’ll be ok” and she calms down.

    I’m just at the stage where I’m totally confident I could actually contain anything I really want now, and so I’ve got options that I didn’t have before.

    So what do I really want?

    That’s the question.

    1. Palma

      Just remember you are dealing with New Relationship Energy on top of everything else.

      Everything is wine and roses and everyone is playing their part. In love with love and in lust with lust… All good and all fun. Enjoy.

      However… there will come more familiarity and you know what happens.

      Now you’re in a place where you can manage things and handle things and steer the ship. So all good.

      But you may find yourself tiring of this. It could take 2 years now, but keep it in mind.

      A business partner used to say “pressurize a situation and see where the fissures develop”… After some stress testing THEN you’ll have a better idea of ride or die status.

      In the meantime ride the pony, take the candy and enjoy.

      I’d heed Heartiste’s commandment though and “keep two in the kitty” all the same. COVID is tilting the scarcity issue against you.

      How would you feel with a few more of her round while RD is in mother Russia?

    2. Palma , who’s to say I am not riding first class now?

      The food here is good yet they don’t want me mingling with the other cpasengers.

      Disgruntled has a great comment for you +100.

      If you decide to have more children here is a pro tip Don’t drink an IPA ‘to take the edge off’ before parent teacher confrence.

      The new thing is to have the kid breast feed till 18 to save on groceries.

      Tap it light.

      1. @stuffinbox

        If you decide to have more children here is a pro tip Don’t drink an IPA ‘to take the edge off’ before parent teacher confrence.

        i lol’d… +1… been there, done that…lol

        good luck!

  7. I agree Palma, he handled the situation very good – although that’s generally the way how you teach a child to behave and – more importantly: how to interact.

    On StuffInBox’s response:
    I’m a bloody noob on game, but I have experience with “overage” parents.

    At my birth my dad must have been like early/ mid 50s (and my mom ’bout mid 40s) – it is pretty clear they did not plan on conceiving me.

    Now this is gonna become a slightly longer story.

    I was born in Munich, where my father worked as an IT-Systems engineer and my mother as something like a journalist at a huge medical and environmental research facility.
    Now nature hit me with a gene defect causing literally white skin and less good eyes – which basically is determined through both parents genes and independent from mother’s age (I know because of a gene test).

    Yet life was pretty cool in Munich, where I visited the facility’s kindergarten – full of academics’ children with similar interests.

    And that suddenly changed when we moved to our family’s estate more on the countryside. The people there were not worse than the ones at the research facility – they just had completely different interests.

    Children there did not do their experiments in kindergarten like I was used to do, but played soccer (which I hated because of my bad eyes).
    That and the isolation followed by it really destroyed a lot with me.

    Yet in school many of the overachieving children have had old parents, which makes sense as those are the families who spent more time on their career. The age of my father was not a problem, I even learned to use it as an advantage as he was already retired when I was in school. We had best meals, worked on our property and did what fathers and sons naturally do.

    So I’m sure that age won’t be a problem, especially if you have other family members and / or find a way of bringing a child together with other children.

    And when I’m writing along:
    Before my negative experiences in school I think I handled stress differently.
    As a smaller child I was more active when I got more attention, now (like in the oral exam I had today) I just freeze down more and thus radiate far less energy which is overall not dramatic but when in an exam every word and energy counts.

    Anyway:
    Lovoo and Tinder really suck, I now think most of the girls there are doing it as an entertainment – but around easter things will open just enough to see other students and it will start again.

  8. @Palma

    So what do I really want?

    Or want do you still think society wants you to want?

    Be careful about acquiring more children, regardless of the method. Think of how that affects your plans and also your new relationship with your son.

    It’s so easy to fall for a nubile young woman. Been there done that. Regret parts of it but it was the best time I’ve ever had. One thing I did notice was at that age when they’re serious they really, really don’t want other women in your bed. Mine collapsed mostly because there was too much evidence… my ops-sec was shit. I was fucking around a bit much… If I had to do it over again I’d greatly decrease the extra-relationship activities. There’s nothing wrong with controlled oneitis…

    But do go on for the ride and play house if you want. She pays for her shit and endures hardship to be with you – that stuff is gold. Keep that bigger boat in mind. Keep your goals. That’s part of the package she’s attracted to. Don’t start the betafication process yourself if you can avoid it.

    As to the dominance aspect, she’ll probably eventually tire of it so changing the balance to more comfort at times would be good. That’s a tricky line to navigate.

  9. @Palma: I’m arriving late to the party and much of what I’d like to say has been written by more experienced people.

    Don’t go exclusive.
    Vet for longer.
    Even if you don’t marry her, having a kid with her eventually lets her extract resources from you.

    You know this because even now I’d say your ex (your son’s mother) still extracts some time out of you, directly or indirectly.

    Also consider you may be overestimating your capacity to keep it under control given that you’ve kept it under control in very specific circumstances, where she is coming over to have fun, and there aren’t that many external factors de-stabilizing it. It isn’t a real simulation for what could go wrong if, say, her father is against her having a kid with an older man; her meeting a younger guy who is a bit alpha (maybe not as much as you, but enough to give her second thoughts and shit test harder), etc.

    Also, don’t go exclusive because, why would you.

  10. @PalmaSailor

    you’re gettin’ great advice…

    just one question from me…

    what’s her name?…

    good luck!

  11. @stuffinbox
    I am writing this mostly for myself as I still have the same urge to “knowing what I know now take another shot at the happy familly life”.

    What a timeline, solid and funny. Thanks for the heads up… lol

    @Sentient
    A business partner used to say “pressurize a situation and see where the fissures develop”… After some stress testing THEN you’ll have a better idea of ride or die status.

    This^^

    @Palma, you haven’t seen her in other contexts, interacting with other people, long-term. Only in this artificial 2-person 3D picture frame over a short honeymoon “rabbits f*ing” period.

    Here’s a checklist I borrowed from @Blaximus for my son. Go through it and see what comes out:

    How does she treat others?

    What does she say about other people to you? Does she ” hate ” or ” can’t stand ” people that you’ve seen her put on a false, pleasant face for?

    What does she have to say about men in genera!? Are you ‘ the exception ‘ …lmao.

    What was her relationship like with her dad? How does she feel about him?

    Does she have brothers? How do they get along.

    Now, here’s the harder asshole part : you’re going to have to make her mad and angry. Maybe more than once. How does she respond to you when furious? Can!! You a dickheaded bastard? Does she apologize and ‘ take it back ‘? Does she lay down the rules so that it doesn’t happen again? Does she withhold sex because she’s too upset? Do you get the silent treatment or loss of contact for days?

    She ever curse you out and throw shit at your head? Put you out? Call the cops, or her big brother? Tell people about what transpired between the two of you?

    She ever joke with you that she can get any man she wants, or that you can be replaced?

    Does she call you names when she’s angry? Ever say shitty things about your dick or you lovemaking?

    Does she stea!/take stuff from you without telling you until later? Not the!l you at all? Apologize for doing so?

    She ever try to put you on a schedule? Bitch about your friends or where you go or what you’re doing?

    Quid pro quos? 

    Does she need her ‘ personal space ‘? 

    There’s a bunch more but I’m getting hungry.

    @HABD
    what’s her name?…

    Lol… touché

  12. Thanks for all your feedback which I’ll mediate on for a bit.

    Even as we speak and I’m thinking it through, my opinion is changing.

    Being locked down has skewed everything – practically speaking it put a huge multiplier on what was already a good outcome. It’s created a disproportionate and skewed view.

    If I hadn’t been locked down, then by now, having crossed the rubicon – which was the difficult but – I would have another two in the kitty – which would give a very different outlook.

    So thanks again.

  13. I went to a particular pizza joint for the first time. It was a smorgasbord and a hostess asked me if there was any particular kind of pizza I would like. Later, she came back to my table and asked me if I wanted a refill…I said no…then another, younger, hotter waitress came over and asked me if I wanted a refill…no…then the first came over again and asked me if I wanted a refill…I said Ok so that she would quit bothering me, lol…she wanted to do something for me…if people do something for you, they tend to like you a little…at the end the younger waitress asked me if I wanted a to go drink…(or a waitress to go with nothing on it)

    There was LOTS of checking in by both waitresses besides just asking me for drinks.

    There I was, unshaven in shorts and a tee shirt, lol.

    Women are getting desperate. Anything wearing pants is fair game, lol. Covid game…just show up.

  14. For sport I’ll answer Blax‘s survey. She’s been on the scene since late November (so 4 months+)and believe it or not we haven’t talked about much so there’s stuff I can’t answer. There’s not been a lot said because there was nothing really needing saying. It’s easy to spend time with her in almost total silence for days on end.

    How does she treat others?

    Well from what I’ve seen. On the two occasions we went to a restaurant she was polite to the waiting staff.

    What does she say about other people to you? Does she ” hate ” or ” can’t stand ” people that you’ve seen her put on a false, pleasant face for?

    Not enough information yet. She thinks half the people who present at the hospital are just idiots, and their problems are self inflicted but I’ve never met a medic who didn’t agree with that.

    What does she have to say about men in genera!?

    She says that most men my age are already “half dead with one foot in the grave”

    Are you ‘ the exception ‘ …lmao.

    She’s questioned how I’m in such good shape

    What was her relationship like with her dad? How does she feel about him?

    Very good and she loves him.

    Does she have brothers? How do they get along.

    Yes and they get along well most of the time.

    Now, here’s the harder asshole part : you’re going to have to make her mad and angry. Maybe more than once. How does she respond to you when furious? Can!! You a dickheaded bastard?

    I’ve not seen her angry; she’s very stable on that front, she gets slightly pissed at incompetence / but it’s an eye roll / shrug thing. I’ll probe that when an appropriate situation arises.

    Does she apologize and ‘ take it back ‘?

    I have a slight amount of belly fat at the moment which she pinched and called me “fat”. I looked at her half smiling, she was immediately mortified, and she said “oh I’m sorry I’ll never say that again” before I tickled her.

    Does she lay down the rules so that it doesn’t happen again?

    No. I can’t imagine her ever laying down the rules – although interestingly this is what the ex did that was HPD and sent me to the red pill.

    Does she withhold sex because she’s too upset?

    Can’t tell yet, but I expect that we would fuck our way through a conflict. I expect she would initiate sex as an olive branch.

    Do you get the silent treatment or loss of contact for days?

    No silent treatment, but we go days without texting bc there’s nothing to say.

    *She ever curse you out and throw shit at your head? *

    No

    Put you out? Call the cops, or her big brother? Tell people about what transpired between the two of you?

    No

    She ever joke with you that she can get any man she wants, or that you can be replaced?

    No

    Does she call you names when she’s angry? Ever say shitty things about your dick or you lovemaking?

    No

    Does she stea!/take stuff from you without telling you until later? Not the!l you at all? Apologize for doing so?

    No

    She ever try to put you on a schedule? Bitch about your friends or where you go or what you’re doing?
    Quid pro quos?

    No

    Does she need her ‘ personal space ‘?

    Not exactly but she was getting cabin fever after a week and went off for a “walk and talk” with her friend who bought her flowers.

    There’s a bunch more but I’m getting hungry.

    I need coffee too

  15. @Palma
    I’ve not seen her angry

    The question isn’t if you’ve seen her angry but if you know HOW she functions under pressure, when things aren’t as planned, when problems arise etc. Not only in the moment but also afterwards (fixing? preventing? improving?).

    Circle back to this:
    “pressurize a situation and see where the fissures develop”

    You ‘stress test’ (or ‘vaccinate’… lol) a relationship to accelerate the “getting to know each other” stage and also test/build resilience and trust (taking her on a journey through rollercoasters and handling them does that).

  16. My lack of being out much the last year is showing… 😒 It’s the second story.

    Thurs. night I went to my neighborhood bar and saw a couple of guys who are casual acquaintances and one was very drunk and I figured out that I needed to avoid him without him getting wise. My buddies had dates. This bar doesn’t have a dance floor, but I did a line dance anyway to live music.

    Later, my sober buddy was dancing with the date of the other one. I asked the sober buddy’s date, “So you don’t dance?” Then she asked me to dance. She was pretty, but this was just a friendly thing. My sober buddy maybe was cheering up the date of my drunk buddy who was unhappy with him for being rude by dancing with her. Anyway, it was a fun dance. I had a good time that night–lots of chatting and a little dancing and good live music.

    Last night I went to a country dance bar not far from my house (my old favorite bar closed). I saw one of my old married friends there solo (going out to bang) and told her that her outfit made me want to grab her butt and she smiled and I held her a bit and we chatted for a few minutes with our faces about 6 inches apart–not facing each other, but 90 degrees difference direction. The girl wants to bang, but her being married means she is off my menu. She doesn’t quit trying, lol.

    So I danced with a few women and did some line dances and there were two girls near the dance floor and I asked one to dance. She said she was too warm, but encouraged me to dance with her friend–a short, stunning, petite brunette with nut brown hair. These girls were mid-20s. So we danced and the girl complimented me on my dancing–“the younger men could take a lesson from you.” The girl was obviously an experienced dancer–she followed my lead very well. The girl said that she was from out of town and was traveling with her friend for her birthday. I danced two consecutive dances with the girl–she didn’t drop her hold after the first dance, so I knew she wanted to continue. In fact, I don’t think that she dropped her hold after the second dance either, but I wanted a break.

    Later I went and chatted up the friend. They were in town for the weekend for a silly reason–probably just to bang something new. Probably told their boyfriends that they needed space.

    Back to my having my head up my @$$. So my logistics suck nowadays because I want to be available to drive in case my granddaughter needs to go to the hospital. I only go out for about an hour after the baby is already asleep. But driving takes another 30 minutes round trip and I approached the girls near the end of the evening and I didn’t have logistics arranged ahead of time and the girl I chatted up explained their logistics. So there was no match but I know where they’re from and where they go when they go out and maybe I’ll show up there some day.

    The good part is that I realized my problem due to a lack of preparation and how to fix it.

  17. Interesting observation : Daughter Gamer brought an interesting colleague in the house. A charming young fellow won’t be more than 26, good looking, easily 9/10, has amuse mastery. My granddaughter kept looking at him all the time, wanting him to look back. Girls have a separate space in their brain for Alphas, visually observed.

  18. The return of dick twitch girl…

    Last saw her four months ago, she was with her kid.

    At a new place sitting in the back but facing the door see a long haired girl with a mask on, waving to me as she goes to the counter. I wave back, have no idea who it is. She talks at the counter a minute then comes back in with a heavy set guy. Little older. They order. She looks over at me, I look back.

    She comes all the way I to the back, now with mask off and guy in tow. She says hello. I say hey been a while. Ask her if its her new spot, she says sometimes. Guy is standing there looking at her, never looks at me. She never introduces him. I say good seeing you or something and she tells the guy they can go sit up in the front. So they go.

    I finish up was going to signal calling her but they were seated around a table both facing me, she was looking at him talking and didn’t see me leave at the other exit.

  19. @Sentient

    Last saw her four months ago, she was with her kid.

    Is this the one that was moving house and wanted ‘help’ either moving her new bed or something? I don’t remember precisely, but something to do with moving?

    At a new place sitting in the back but facing the door see a long haired girl with a mask on, waving to me as she goes to the counter. I wave back, have no idea who it is. She talks at the counter a minute then comes back in with a heavy set guy. Little older. They order. She looks over at me, I look back.

    Mask on outside – which I take is not mandated where you are = huge ‘risk’ aversion / societal compliance.

    So she comes in on her own, talks at the counter for a minute but she must then leave if she comes back in again with the guy?

    She comes all the way I to the back, now with mask off and guy in tow. She says hello. I say hey been a while. Ask her if its her new spot, she says sometimes. Guy is standing there looking at her, never looks at me. She never introduces him. I say good seeing you or something and she tells the guy they can go sit up in the front. So they go.

    So she’s taken off the mask now prior to when she needs to (I take it they’re there for covefee or something so have to remove to consume) but this was earlier than necessary (which would usually be when seated) because she had to reveal herself to you.

    He gets towed along behind unwillingly so she can say hi to some guy. He doesn’t look at you so either subconsciously, or consciously he knows what’s up. Interesting. If I’m going out with some woman then it’s me leading into the shop / bar / restaurant, I would probably order, and I would definitely decide where we sit. So if she’d been with me, I would have sat down having ordered, and she would have to have left the reservation to go on her own to say hi to some guy leaving me unattended.

    I finish up was going to signal calling her but they were seated around a table both facing me, she was looking at him talking and didn’t see me leave at the other exit.

    So they were either sitting at a round table with a number of seats and they both sat the same side or a square table – again on the same side and either would be awkward really, it’s also against the natural order of things which would be to sit opposite each other (if there was seating available for that?). I’ll bet it was her sat down first looking in your direction, and he sat same side to keep an eye on you. BETA mate guarding. And she knows it. THAT ^^ situation /= ‘Gina tingles lol

    On balance I think given the situation, it was better you left like you did bc even when (not if) you get her to the mattress she can keep him around for provisioning; and will probably be overt about this – see below

    I would re hit his new venue semi regularly for a bit and my money she’ll show on her own with “time to spare”. Possibly just after school drop off time in the morning.

    Got a call from an old neighbour yesterday. When I last lived here I had a flat near where I am now and this woman was my neighbour. We shared a private entrance to our two flats in the block, and once in, our front doors were literally opposite. If you opened both doors the whole setup was like one huge apartment and you could wander between the two and we often did. She’s older (and too old) is still a serious looker for her age, very very intelligent, very witty, very rich, had been to Swiss finishing school etc.. speaks 4/5 languages fluently and great fun.

    She doesn’t work and didn’t used to spend much time here as also has places all over the globe and is usually somewhere warmer. So in the past when in the country she’d regularly turn up unannounced with wine / champagne “just for a quick one bc she had to go do xyz” and I would end up cooking, she would recover MOAR booze from her fridge and we’d spend hours in hysterics putting the world straight – and she’d never go do xyz.

    We used to also hit the pub and I’d hit on the waitresses, and the neighbour would confirm that “no we’re not an item, we just share the same back passage”. Then she’d explain it was the passage between the apartments. She was like Patsy out of Ab Fab.

    In all this time she’s never had a man. Plenty have had their eye on her but she never wants to know.

    Bc we’re all locked down we’re meeting in houses and she wants to catch up and I’m gonna cook, so we’re discussing which night is possible bc “other commitments”. I suggest xday and she says “no bc she ‘has got’ to see the other half”.

    I say “WOT! Other half??!! Who approved that???!!!! – What does this boys father do for a living?” Etc..

    She says “well, yeah I know, and he’s a bit of a damp weekend really, and I’ve known him for ages but I was just so fucked off in lockdown…..”

    So the current circumstances has them ADMITTING to overtly settling for men they wouldn’t usually even look at.

    I just see us coming out of what has been essentially over a year of lockdown and women putting up with men that are a “wet weekend” and everything is to play for.

    Then yesterday I’m in the supermarket, and I’m the only one not wearing a mask. I never wear one now, and I’m the only one. At the outset there were arguments everywhere and I was getting into scrapes over it so I complied, but now I don’t, and no one confronts, no one. Most can’t make eye contact. Think about that. The entire supermarket – basically all of society wearing a mask, compliant, and I’m not.

    So I get to the checkout and the masked cashier woman is totally into me. How has my day been? Commenting on my shopping, sparking eye contact, leaning across the checkout, totally ignoring social distancing. Something is said and she says “is that the excuse you give to your other half?” I say, “I don’t have another half, well, not a permanent one anyway”, it goes on and on.

    So we’re in bizarre times, If it’s female, and it’s on two legs, I reckon it’s desperate for masculine alpha frame right now. Probably more so than at any time in history since men were actually fighting it out.

    Back in the caveman days, I think women would literally fight amongst each other to jump on and fuck the alpha leader of the tribe. I was going to say “all” he had to be was the leader, but back then that took some doing.

    I think we’re going back to that stage – and dick twitch girl will prob. bang you under the nose of that ^^ guy and not even think twice about it.

  20. Palma

    Yeah same one. I think guy was wantingg. To sit outside and she brought him inside was the deal.

    The center isn’t holding, the summer is going to be a fuckfest. 🎩 🍸 🧉 🥳 🎊 🎉

  21. @Sentient

    the summer is going to be a fuckfest.

    Despite the odds work is beginning to pick up, and with some women, the minute I walk through the door I know I’ve got the job, regardless of price, and some are just OBV.. DTF. They’re at home climbing the walls.

    The RD has gone back for a few weeks so I’ve been catching up on my inner circle and this is just the last 24 hours worth of women that have hit me up.

    https://imgur.com/a/KElr8vb

    Unprecedented pro activity.

    Next month the restaurants open, and that will be the start. If the sun comes out here then the authorities won’t physically be able to hold it back. It’ll be mass civil disobedience on a scale never seen before, and it’ll be led by women, not men.

    1. My deep respect Palma,

      online on my part works like nothing, which still wonders me, as the profile is heavily visited.
      Anyway, it probably is because at 19 years you’re a biddy (in contrast to school lol).

      So I’ve met a few people recently and literally all women I met had a boyfriend and most of them found him on Tinder – one to two years older of course. (you see, I appreciate “age apropriacy” here lol)

      I bet beer gardens (and outdoor restaurants) will be reopened after easter here, yet meeting people will be bound to (slightly illegal, but who cares) parties.

  22. @NNN1

    “because at 19 years you’re a biddy (in contrast to school lol).”

    So lie about your age. Be what they want you to be. My profile shows me as 6’9” and I’m 5’6” on a good day.

    🤷‍♂️

    1. The link does not work lol.
      “Preselection in your pictures?” – Not really actually.

      Regarding desperate women: Do you think men just handle slight isolation / reduced contacts better?

      In my – admittetly – small social circle at the shut down university, the one girl who admitts to not have a boyfriend is the one who really pushes for meetups.

      So she is the only one of three girls without a boyfriend (at least she claims that) – french, pretty small but OK. – And I’m the one guy of three without a girlfriend lol
      Anyway, last weekend she wanted to meetup on Sunday and the other guys and I think one or two girls agreed to that, yet I didn’t have time (and did not want to go for a 2hour-ride).

      A few hours after I rejected the meetup she suddenly had “no time for the meetup anymore”.

      Before overinterpreting that: last Tuesday evening we met after an exam and partied somehow excessively (relative to what’s usual these days) and after 10pm or so (when nobody was really able to walk a few meters straight anymore) we started dancing in the kitchen.
      Now I was too drunk to really go anywhere with her and it’s social circle, so it needs to be done with some secrecy.

      But we are going to meet up again next Monday, so we’ll see what happens there.
      Do you have any routines / ideas / links for that? The only objective is I cannot party all night as on Tuesday morning I start an internship at the university and want to make an excellent impression.

      1. Secrecy? The first girl I banged asked if I hit on our other friends in our social circle. I said “sure.” It was one of two sht tests before we banged. (Her other sht test was whether I knew she was engaged. “Sure.”) Rule breaking signifies alpha.

        If you bang a girl in your social circle, you get preselection, but the anti-slut defense will also pick up and you have to know how to handle it. That’s where you do secrecy and you never talk specifics when you say you’ve banged other girls. When girls ask, you say, “Classified.” Girls will talk among themselves and brag in their own circles, but not in public.

      2. @NNN1

        Don’t play the social circle game, I mean it. In my early pickup days, I used to Game women using social connection, who fucked with multiple guys as well. You’ll lose your social status for fucking women in a social circle even if the girl you banged was a hoe. Instead try to interact with women in an isolated manner, in that way you’ll be able to see what she really is, and she can’t get to you using social laundry after you’ve messed up with her.

  23. @NNN1
    The only objective is I cannot party all night

    Then don’t. Decide what you want: party with friends or isolate and spend time with the girl? Then do that.

    Do you have any routines / ideas / links for that?

    Simple: lead.

    https://i.pinimg.com/originals/4d/a3/00/4da3001732c904b4773d7d06c4315c1f.jpg

    Buuut… you need to understand social dynamics, sub-comms etc.

    BTW, a good sperg-o-meter was this set of calibration activities from YaReally. This is to help newbs to develop social skills and practice on strangers, so not really for your situ, but have a look at what’s meant by reading social cues, sub-comms, leading etc. How well you can execute each of these?

    Notice how simple leading/bouncing can be… “hey I’m getting pizza up the street. Come with me, we’ll come right back after.”

    Each night you go out, pick just one thing to work on and make it a mission to focus on that one thing. How the set goes doesn’t matter, all that matters is that you practice the thing you pick for that night. Keep in mind that this is going to be weird and feel weird and you’re going to weird some girls out, so you may want to only do it when you’re solo and not when you’re out with friends, and definitely don’t do it on girls in your social circles lol

    Some examples of missions:

    – Eye-contact: Lock eye-contact with the girl. Every girl you talk to, look her in the eyes and don’t look away. Stare her down as you guys talk. Learn to calibrate how much eye-contact crosses the line into creepy. Do this until girls start telling you you have nice eyes, that’s when you know you’re hitting the sweet spot. Soon as you break eye-contact, or she’s weirded out, bail and open the next girl.

    – Kino: Greet every single set with a handshake, followed by pulling them (as you look them in the eye and smile) into you and placing their hands around your shoulders as you place yours around their waist. Do this with every set. Some of them will run away or be creeped out, but that’s fine, learn to calibrate when you can/can’t get away with this. Do this until you can get at least half your sets to have their arms around your shoulders with yours around their waist. Soon as you get your arms around each other, just walk away and do it to the next girl.

    – Leading: Try to move every single set you open. As soon as you get an ioi, or even before it, make eye contact, have a big smile on your face, take them by the hand or wrist (gently of course lol) and say “come with me” while you look at them and pull (don’t look away, they have to see your face and make a judgement call to trust you and your vibe) and just assume that they’ll come with you. Imagine there’s a million dollar check waiting for them at one of the bars, or the dance floor, or the smoke pit…like you’re about to take them to the greatest experience of their life, getting a million dollars, so any hesitation they have is silly and nonsense and you would just reply with “shh, it’s fine, trust me. Come.” and lead them. Do this all night with every single set, until at least half the girls you open will follow you to another spot in the bar. As soon as they follow you to wherever (literally just pick a spot in the bar that’s like 10 feet away), just walk away and do it to the next girl.

    – Isolating: Try to move every single girl you open away from her friends, or at the very least turn her away from her friends so her back is to them. I like to either physically pull them in and step to the side so their back is facing their friends, or I’ll just start saying something and as I’m talking I take a couple steps to the side…out of natural instinct/politeness, they’ll turn to stay facing me as we talk but they’ll end up with their backs to their friends. Try to get her to take 5 steps away from her friends with her back to them. Do this until almost all of your sets turn their back on their friends. As soon as they have their back to their friends and/or are a few steps away from them, walk away and do it to the next girl.

    – Heavy Leading/Isolating: Try to lead every single girl you open out of the club for food in under 5 minutes. Open, tease a bit, then say “hey I’m getting pizza up the street. Come with me, we’ll come right back after.” and pull them by the hand/wrist (lightly lol) toward the door. They’ll probably say they can’t leave their friends or they don’t know you etc. Just say “it’s fine, we’ll be back before they even notice” or “get them and we’ll all go together” or “my name is Hunter, what’s your name?” and build some quick rapport/comfort, then try again 10 minutes later. Then try again 15 minutes later. If she still won’t come with you, walk away and do it to the next girl. Do this all night, right up till last call, on every girl you open. If you get her out of the club just say “I forgot to tell my friend, I’ll be right back” and go back in and do it to the next girl. Do this all night.

    – Vocal tonality: Use a loud commanding breaking rapport tone of voice with every girl you open. Focus on commands and statements. “YOU. HERE. NOW. COME. What’s your name. Interesting. You’re not from around here are you.” No questions, no question marks, and no raising your voice up like when you ask a question. Just be a complete authoritative force.  Mimic this guy: [Old Spice | The Man Your Man Could Smell Like]
    Watch his Old Spice commercials before you go out and pretend to be him for the night. Do this until you can get at least half your sets to follow your commands. Once they come over, or answer your questions, etc., walk away and go do it to the next girl.

    – Cold reading: Cold read every set with the same cold-reads. If it’s a 2-set, tell one girl you can tell she’s the good girl and the other girl she’s the bad girl of the group. Then cold-read that they must be nurses. “Let me guess, you’re both nurses.” If it’s a solo set, cold read her as knowing how to party, being trouble and being a nurse. If it’s a 3+ set, cold read them all as random personality types (the smart girl, the shy girl, the out-going girl, and the mother hen of the group). Do this for every set all night. Soon as they ask you “why do you think that??”, say “I can’t tell you.” and walk away and go do it to the next set.

    – Escalating: Go for the makeout within 30 seconds of opening every girl you approach. Look her in the eyes, look at her lips, look back at her eyes, pull her in, put a hand on her cheek, and go for the kiss. Do it mid-sentence, or ask her a question and then do it, or just do it without saying a word. Most girls will pull away from you and be freaked out…just smile and laugh it off and say “lol sorry, I think you’re gorgeous. I should’ve introduced myself first, my name is Hunter.” Then try again within 5 minutes. Then try again within 15 minutes. If you get the makeout, or don’t get it by 15 minutes in, walk away and go do it to the next girl. Do this until you get like a 10-20% success rate with it.

    – Group theory: Introduce yourself to everyone in the group except the hottest one. Save her to introduce yourself to last, but instead of introducing yourself to her, keep talking to the girl right before her and ask her some bullshit about “that’s a nice name, but my ex had that name. I don’t know if we can be friends, she broke my heart lol” and keep talking to her, then “forget” to introduce yourself to the hot one and just talk to the group. Do this until either the hot one calls you out on not introducing yourself to her, or until 15 minutes is up. Then walk away and do it to the next group set. Do this all night long, set after set.

    – Qualifying: Have 3 screening/qualifying questions that you’re going to ask every girl you talk to. Something like “Can you cook? I like when a girl knows how to cook.” (she answers yes/no) “Do you work out? I don’t like lazy girls.” (she answers yes/no) “You’re not from here, are you?” (she answers yes/no) To each of her answers just reply “Interesting…” or “I thought so…” or “I could tell…” Randomly react positive or negative to her responses. Either go “Oh no, that’s too bad” and turn your back to her, and on the last answer say “Okay, you pass. You can be my girlfriend for the night.” and pull her into you. Use these same 3 qualifiers on every girl, and do this until at least half of them actually answer your questions. Once you get through all 3 questions and tell her she can be your girlfriend for the night, try to kiss her, then walk away and do it to the next girl. Do this all night on every girl you talk to.

    – Story-telling: Come up with a 5-10 minute story about something interesting that’s happened to you and tell that story to every single set you talk to. Find a way to lead the conversation to it naturally. “Your name is Sarah? That’s weird, I met a girl named Sarah when I was (insert story)” Make the story ridiculous and clearly bullshit, or play it all straight, doesn’t matter. Finish the story off with asking her a question about herself that relates to the story (“have YOU ever–?”). As soon as she answers you, walk away and go do the same thing to the next girl. Do this until pretty much every set listens to your full story and answers your question. Do this all night.
    Get the idea? The key is picking one thing to hyper-focus on for the night. The results don’t matter, all you’re doing is building individual skills that you can later combine together. A lot of this will push your comfort zone, and will weird girls out, and will come off weird until you learn to calibrate it, and walking away in some situations will seem socially retarded, but that doesn’t matter. You’re just racking up massive reference experiences.

    Once you’ve built up the individual skills, we can take them and apply them together strategically. Think of this as waxing Mr. Miyagi’s car and painting his fences. We’ll put it all together into combinations later. ie – Opening with a commanding tonality, telling her to “YOU. COME.” and pulling her in with her back to her friends, then qualifying her with the 3 questions, then going for the makeout, then leading her to another part of the bar, escalating, then leading her out of the bar for pizza up the street.

    A solid efficient consistent pickup is simply a strategic combination and application of a sequence of individual skills. Right now you’re kind of all over the charts swinging wildly once you get in set so it feels like you aren’t getting anywhere. So we focus on the basics and tighten those up so that when you’re in set you instinctively pull those skills out when your calibration tells you to, and then we apply an overall general strategy that all these skills can be dropped into to create the most efficient consistent play.

    After THAT, you can go back to just naturally improvising and winging shit, because you’ll have your basics tight and instinctive and calibrated.

    1. Right, I’ll follow YaReally’s advice as soon as venues are open.

      On Monday I’ll probably try isolation in increasing steps – like changing the room together, going outside, going for a one-minute walk, etc.

      Parallel escalation: Hugging on first meet, caressing her hair, touching her earring, then her cheek.
      In isolation: coming closer to her (while avoiding a big move lol) touching her hair…

      And now my imagination really just stops;

      Maybe holding her side head, like below her ear and pulling her in just a little and watching her response and in doubt changing the topic. Then trying again later.

  24. @NNN1

    The link does not work lol.

    It did work but I didn’t leave it live for long. Try this

    https://imgur.com/a/g3V8LJW

    “Preselection in your pictures?” – Not really actually.

    You know you need it, why aren’t you taking it seriously? The above pics got the RD, and anything else I got online.

    Regarding desperate women: Do you think men just handle slight isolation / reduced contacts better?

    In general yes. Women are struggling badly at the moment.

    In my – admittetly – small social circle at the shut down university, the one girl who admitts to not have a boyfriend is the one who really pushes for meetups.

    What does that tell you?

    So she is the only one of three girls without a boyfriend (at least she claims that) – french, pretty small but OK. – And I’m the one guy of three without a girlfriend lol

    The boyfriend / girlfriend thing isn’t relevant

    Anyway, last weekend she wanted to meetup on Sunday and the other guys and I think one or two girls agreed to that, yet I didn’t have time (and did not want to go for a 2hour-ride).

    A few hours after I rejected the meetup she suddenly had “no time for the meetup anymore”.

    Does she have to spell it out?

    Before overinterpreting that: last Tuesday evening we met after an exam and partied somehow excessively (relative to what’s usual these days) and after 10pm or so (when nobody was really able to walk a few meters straight anymore) we started dancing in the kitchen.

    Why did you party excessively? Le me think, did someone lack the balls to escalate it?

    Now I was too drunk to really go anywhere with her and it’s social circle, so it needs to be done with some secrecy.

    Why did you drink that heavily? Something else you’d rather have been doing but you didn’t make the move?

    But we are going to meet up again next Monday, so we’ll see what happens there.

    See what happens? Who has responsibility for making anything happen?

    Do you have any routines / ideas / links for that? The only objective is I cannot party all night as on Tuesday morning I start an internship at the university and want to make an excellent impression.

    Yes, and I’ve told you before, get her home on a pretext, DHV by cooking, look for the IOI, and go for the make out on the 3rd IOI.

    Right, I’ll follow YaReally’s advice as soon as venues are open.

    Why wait? Buffering

    On Monday I’ll probably try isolation in increasing steps – like changing the room together, going outside, going for a one-minute walk, etc.

    Parallel escalation: Hugging on first meet, caressing her hair, touching her earring, then her cheek.

    In isolation: coming closer to her (while avoiding a big move lol) touching her hair…

    And now my imagination really just stops;

    Maybe holding her side head, like below her ear and pulling her in just a little and watching her response and in doubt changing the topic. Then trying again later.

    How about get her to your place, cook yourself and her an omelette, look for IOI x 3 (which should happen as you’re serving up) on one plate bc you share – you feed her and you alternately, make out, take her hand and walk her to bed?

  25. @NNN1

    find a copy of the Vin dicarlo kino escalation ladder…

    then learn it… love it… live it…

    good luck!

    1. I got the ladder (and had it before lol), but probably hoped for it to “just happen” and since Christmas there wasn’t a lot going on. Yet this version

      https://de.scribd.com/doc/202670438/Kino-Escalation-Ladder-2nd-Edition-Vin-DiCarlo

      appears logic at first.

      Anyway @Palma: it’s not really my buffering YaReally’s advice, but lockdown making it definitely more difficult.

      Besides that my first priority is the last exam tomorrow, then the internship as part of applying for a scholarship.

      The french girl is just one thing running next to it – yet a pretty sweet one.

      Additionally, she wrote (in a group chat) she failed two exams in which I was quite good. Now, my old 100% AfC-self would try to volunteer and teach her, now my about 30% AfC-self thinks about just using this as a pivot for getting more contact.
      I’ll see if this will be necessary tomorrow.

      Up to now: Thank you all for great advice. Now it is my turn to convert it into results.

  26. @NNNI:
    you know that is the wrong approach, so don’t stick to it.

    Don’t volunteer to teach her. That is literally telling her your time is less valuable than her just being there.
    You don’t want to position yourself as an orbiter or provider, that is a DLV. It isn’t that it 100% won’t work, if it does work and you get what you want (to fuck her) from this gambit, that is only because you managed to get it there from a starting disadvantage.
    You do want to get more contact, but don’t “buy” it in this kind of exchange.

    Invite her over for some other activity, e.g. dinner as Palma suggests. You will have a better starting position. If she says no, the medium is the message, and at least you are not wasting your time.

  27. Just checking in – it’s been a while. Hope everyone is well.

    Since my last post I’ve been traveling the country looking for a better place to live and spent the better part of 4 months spending a week or two in different cities. For the next 6 months I’ll be in the mountains as it’s a friendly area that’s growing fast. When I first stopped in, it seemed like most available women were looking to build a family which was a breath of fresh air as compared to the armpit hair, radical feminism and impulsiveness that was pervasive throughout the last city I lived in. Thinking back, it seemed like the people competed with each other to see who could be the most edgy and in the process only made themselves more ugly to me. Lots of erratic behaviors became normalized and I decided to opt out and to look for something more.

    Anyways, I’ve got some catching up to do…

  28. One little tidbit from an online dating app exchange that I had recently. This particular woman had posted a photo of herself in a one piece that was cut to show side-boob. Instead of falling for the thirst trap I messaged her and commented on the photo of the waterfall to the left of her on the shelf “Is that waterfall near X? I was just exploring that area and spent a bunch of hiking the backcountry there.”

    A couple of weeks go by and she messages back “Yes! It’s x waterfall in x city!” and proceeds to offer to setup a call as she was tired of staring at her screen all day. I got the message in the afternoon and followed up the following day with a short text and it lead to the following that afternoon:

    Me: blah blah blah how long have you lived here?

    Her: I’ve lived here a while 🙂 I can show you all the spots – if your play your cards right. (cry laughing emoji)

    Me: Looking forward to it. Text me tomorrow when you’re thinking of me. 😉

    Note: This was early on in our exchange and seemed pretty abrupt to have her assume she’s the prize so dropped my reply to switch it up on her and assume the sale. Never heard back from her and don’t regret it. If she was truly into me then I would haven’t gotten a response I think.

    Would love some feedback. I slow played the return message as it took her 3 weeks to respond to my original message and my reply was admittedly a bit uncalibrated but I’m not placing any particular value on my matches, testing & learning and willing to take home run swings for fun.

  29. Working on a customers house in the roof. At this stage it’s filthy work, and my young lad labourer and I are literally covered in shit and dust and wearing proper masks / respiratory gear.

    Customer has a daughter – early 20’s, slightly older than my labourer and she’s in the house bc da’pocalypse and not working because is a swimming coach and that’s verboten at the moment.

    My labourer is a good looking Chad but struggling with girls at the moment bc he just wants to bang them. I’m struggling to get through to him. Anyway, he doesn’t fancy her, and she’s paying him no attention. I’m getting her attention.

    I’m sensing what I’ve sensed before, but before the RD I couldn’t put my finger on it and that’s there’s something there with the daughter. So far I’m not getting overt IOI’s apart from proximity. If there’s any conversation she’s just “lingering”. Making us drinks etc..

    I remember feeling it numerous times, from the niece of my second wife the first time I met her, from the girl in the fish and chip shop who was shit testing me when I was working for old friend. And countless other times. But Until spending time with the RD and getting a feeling for how younger women work I hadn’t been able to pin point it.

    I get the feeling she’s just itching to be “led” but doesn’t know how to make it happen.

    We needed something for the job bc it took an unexpected turn and she offered to buy it from Amazon – which I accepted and asked her to text me her bank details (I gave her my number) so I could pay her. So far she hasn’t done that – but she might have cleared giving out her bank details with her mother which is a bummer bc it would have opened up communication route. It’s not a lot of money and Mother has probably said “don’t worry we’ll adjust job value.”

    So I don’t have direct / secret communication line with daughter. If I could flip the communication route to telegram then then I have various profile pictures that would spark up a conversation / lead to a conversation about me cooking for friends through lockdown and inviting her over..

    Looking back it’s my profile picture on what’s app etc.. that has got me with the nurse that is still a plate, and what gets interest from women customers.

    But without a direct line I can’t do that. I’ve got 2 days, and most of the time we’re not physically in the same space in the house. On the upside I don’t have my labourer for those two days so I’m alone doing all my own fetching and carrying.

    I’m going to just try chatting and laughing on the occasions I see her in passing, but it might not be enough bc what I’ve learned with younger is you need a lot of comfort. Lots and lots in fact.

    Tentatively thinking of offering her then labourer job for a day for cash in place of my lad because he has college and so I’m on my own..

    Thoughts?

  30. @Catchers

    When I first stopped in, it seemed like most available women were looking to build a family which was a breath of fresh air as compared to the armpit hair, radical feminism and impulsiveness that was pervasive throughout the last city I lived in.

    I get what you mean. There’s something totally toxic about the rad fem stuff that just leaves me not even wanting to be there. It was rabid where I’ve been living for the last 3 years, and having stepped back to “normality” it would be easy to “over reach” and assume that they all want a family etc.. it might just be the contrast – and there’s a masculinity drought in normalville and you’ll be feeling the “female thirst” for that.

    Plus in RadFem ville, they can feeel you’re not like them, and they despise you. At least that’s how I felt about they why they were with me.

    Thinking back, it seemed like the people competed with each other to see who could be the most edgy and in the process only made themselves more ugly to me. Lots of erratic behaviors became normalized and I decided to opt out and to look for something more.

    They have no identity or direction apart from competitive virtue signalling / competitive “oppression”. If not told what to think by the media, they are totally hollow vessels. They are of no substance, and it’s this that leads you to search for “something more”.

    Watch out for the “something more”, the RD is quite a lot more than all of that ^^^ and I almost got a bit of oneitis until I checked in here and got cured.

    One little tidbit from an online dating app exchange that I had recently. This particular woman had posted a photo of herself in a one piece that was cut to show side-boob. Instead of falling for the thirst trap I messaged her and commented on the photo of the waterfall to the left of her on the shelf “Is that waterfall near X? I was just exploring that area and spent a bunch of hiking the backcountry there.”

    Thirst traps are something I’ve only just read about. Although seeing them in real time and realising they should not be risen to I didn’t know there was a term for them. Quoted as “set and forget” shit tests. I’d just love to see incoming comments from men. I might even set up an online profile as a woman and post pictures of some THOT to see what comes in.

    A couple of weeks go by and she messages back “Yes! It’s x waterfall in x city!” and proceeds to offer to setup a call as she was tired of staring at her screen all day.

    It probably took her that long to Wade through the deluge in her inbox. What happened to the call?

    I got the message in the afternoon and followed up the following day with a short text and it lead to the following that afternoon:
    Me: blah blah blah how long have you lived here?

    Didn’t you flip it to the call – setup a meet? Did you let it stay in the text deathzone?

    Her: I’ve lived here a while 🙂 I can show you all the spots – if your play your cards right. (cry laughing emoji)

    [if you play your cards right = shit test = she’s the prize]

    Me: Looking forward to it. Text me tomorrow when you’re thinking of me. 😉

    [shit test pass and re frame – you’re the prize – plus you’ve flipped the expectation that she now pursues. Probably no one has done that to her and she doesn’t know what to do. It might take her several weeks to reach out with a “hey” or never reach out if she wasn’t having any fun in the interaction.]

    Note: This was early on in our exchange and seemed pretty abrupt to have her assume she’s the prize so dropped my reply to switch it up on her and assume the sale.

    They all assume they’re the prize, it’s inbred from birth.

    Never heard back from her and don’t regret it. If she was truly into me then I would haven’t gotten a response I think.

    Too early for her to be truly into you but if she’s aggressively filtering for a poindexter and you’re not coming across alpha enough in your photos/mannerisms it may have a hindbrain hamster AF/BB allocation error.

    Would love some feedback. I slow played the return message as it took her 3 weeks to respond to my original message and my reply was admittedly a bit uncalibrated but I’m not placing any particular value on my matches, testing & learning and willing to take home run swings for fun.

    Not my expert subject, but I just wonder if you managed to inject my fun / humour into the texting, left her wanting MOAR!?

  31. Another 25 Y/O

    I couldn’t sleep and she happened to be online – she ignored my opened a month ago but I hit her again.

    Right through to s switch to what’s app then a date agreed for Saturday lunchtime.

    https://imgur.com/a/77eqh9y

    1. @palma

      Thanks for the feedback and I appreciate the comments. That’s one thing that I tend to forget in my interactions is making it fun / building tension.

      I honestly believe that many people online are there for the attention / validation and are not actually there to meet anyone. Texting is certainly the death zone and I need to remember to escalate to avoid being another one of the matches in her inbox and make myself stand out.

      Just read through the text convo you shared and already feeling inspired. Good luck on Saturday, she seems eager for approval / to be seen & validated.

      1. Catchers

        How ya been?

        Your interaction was fine. Don’t sweat it, she will probably open you gain when she gets bored.

        I honestly believe that many people online are there for the attention / validation and are not actually there to meet anyone.

        well the hind brain knows what it is doing, even online. Putting it “out there” is still putting it out there. The rest is up to you…

        Attention, Interest, Decision, Action!

  32. Palma

    Looks like she invited herself over… nice.

    On the daughter of client. Just isolate her, ask her what she does at night, what she would do if no Rona, where she would hang out then you can slide in a “I may go there sometime” and ” you should hit me up when you go” and use that to get her number kind of thing. All while lasering and subcomming you are raw dogging her…

    1. Seems that daughter of client is 34 and married.

      Really have no idea how I got that so far off base.

      She hasn’t been back since

        1. Absolutely astonished – astonished I tell you.

          Even my labourer is gobsmacked. Just goes to show what being a swimming coach does for you.

          Nothing from Saturdays lunch date – the WhatsApp ticks are grey not blue. I’ll do something else now anyway. All I need is proximity and she’ll be in the bag.

          It’s all about not getting butthurt that she’s gone dark. I reckon she goes dark on men all the time and they lose their shit but I’ll just shrug it – I want to sort out the boat for racing season anyway.

  33. Found the to be interesting

    https://psyarxiv dot com/xbdtj/

    “Playing of dating: Adult playful individuals have more long- and short-term relationships”

    Abstract

    Number of romantic/sexual relationships is suggested as a proxy of potential reproductive success. Cross-culturally, both sexes desire playful long-term mates and playfulness predicts relationship quality. It is yet to be tested, however, if playfulness is associated with number of long-term and short-term relationships. We hypothesized that specific playfulness dimensions would correlate with the number of lifetime short- and long-term relationships. Specifically, we expected that Lighthearted playfulness would be associated with more short-term relationships, while Other-directed playfulness would be associated with the number of long-term relationships. In total, 1191 Brazilian adults (mean age=28.7 years, SD=10.2) responded to online sociodemographic questions and playfulness inventory (OLIW). Other-directed playfulness positively predicted the number of short-term and long-term partners in men and the same was true for Whimsical playfulness in women. This suggests that playfulness is used by both sexes to compete for access to more and better mates, but in slightly different ways. For the first time, we show that playful adults have more partners and that playfulness can be used as a part of mating strategies.

  34. Fun night last night singing karaoke at my local pub. I met some fun people and chatted them up and they sang, too. There was a unicorn present–a 23 y.o. nine. She wasn’t mingling any and barely chatting with anyone when I looked, including her friend who came in with her. Late in the evening, she sang a duet with another girl and did a passably fair job. Afterwards, I yelled in her direction, asking her if she had been in choir. Four years, she said. So I asked her if she wanted to sing a duet with me and she was agreeable even tho she didn’t know the song. We sang and kind of danced while singing and smiled at each other during the chorus–entertaining the crowd with music chemistry. No hug afterwards, although i complimented her to her friend about her talent and being a good sport.

    Shortly after that the wife of one of the fun guys I met grabbed my hand to dance with me–we danced between the tables. She followed that up with a bear hug and chatted me up. The wife was probably 45-50 and well-preserved. I found her attractive.

    I high-tailed it out of there when she left to pee.

    1. So, i realized that I didn’t unpack what was going on at the karaoke. (I didn’t plan any of it–it’s how I roll.) Now to unpack it…

      First, I established social rapport with men in the bar and I am on friendly terms with the owner. Social value established.

      Second, I yelled to the unicorn. There’s a rule against yelling at unicorns. I broke a rule. That’s a signal. (Alphas are rule breakers.) Treating a unicorn very casually–like a kid sister. That’s a way of establishing value.

      Third, I did a cold read at the same time. Value signal. Bonus points for it being accurate.

      Fourth, I knew the unicorn’s name and she didn’t know mine. I was that new, interesting guy in the bar who seems to quickly get intel.on the social context.

      Fifth, I approached the unicorn and she didn’t shy away or snub me. The girl was willing to sing a song she didn’t know with a guy she didn’t know in a new bar. Something was going on for her to take that kind of risk. The bar is kind of like Cheers, only more cozy. People are protected. (And it has top shelf liquor.)

      Sixth, singing with me was a safe zone, like a dance floor.

      So I established preselection, which is why one of the wives wanted to dance with me and hug me and chat me up.

  35. So a few things have happened lately and it’s my sons 18th on Monday, and he doesn’t want to see me.

    I can’t explain why, but for some time I’ve fancied rowing the Atlantic solo.

    I’m almost decided to do it solo, and I want to raise funds for charity, but it’s gotta be a men’s charity, so I’m thinking something like prostate cancer.

    You guys vote on it, and I’ll go with that charity,
    .
    Let me know.

  36. @NNN1

    ”Preselection in your pictures?” – Not really actually.

    I have got hold of another woman by using the same pictures I used to get the last one. Again, she’s via a forum as opposed to a dating site and again, she’s younger and remarkably good looking, however there were no pictures on the forum, it was just a “girl seeks boy who’s not scared of the big bad wolf” situation. She’s quite a lot younger again and I have t even mentioned my age. But I just sent her the pictures and she came back instantly.

    Five pictures – two with pre selection, me with very attractive other women, in one I have a cats nose and whiskers also painted on my face in black make up.

    Then one more picture showing me in a crystal skull t shirt with a frying pan that’s on fire, and another picture of me on Halloween in make up, and one normal picture of me in a social setting.

    Inner circle is also ramping up dramatically with women hitting me up. I’ve changed one thing on that which has caused the uplift and that’s the photo of me doing the flambé with the lit frying pan. So do that and add it to your online profile.

    I could also swear that I’m getting work from single women because of my photo on what’s app, but I’ll have to report back on that.

  37. Ate at a restaurant yesterday and recognized the server–she’s been at my neighborhood pub. She wanted to know if I was gonna go there tonight. The girl is mid-20s and a little chunky (nhb 5-6).

  38. Field report

    So I’m still working at the house with the customers daughter who I though was early 20’s but is actually mid 30’s and married and lives locally. She does look 20’s, and has no kids. Because of da’pocalypse daughter isn’t working much and is around at the house a lot seeing her mum and dad.

    I’m working on my own bc my labourer can’t seem to get his thumb out of his arse.

    These are nice people and every day I get a cup of tea in the morning, tea and biscuits mid morning, a sandwich at lunch and another cup of tea in the afternoon.

    When daughter is there she delivers all that^^ and she also comes up into the area I’m working to photograph the progress. We generally chit chat, we’re on the same page about a lot of stuff, and she lingers and the chatting goes on. Yesterday it went on until her mother had called her to eat several times.

    I ask if she’s going to put the photos on her Facebook, she says she hasn’t got Facebook but she’ll put it on Instagram when it’s done. I go on to say that I’m crap at social media, but if she wants to take that on for me I’ll pay 5% of all work referred.

    She says she’ll put it on anyway and doesn’t want money bc there “are other ways to show gratitude”. I say “OK”, but can’t think of any other ways for me to show gratitude apart from giving her the 8======D~

    Several cups of tea later and she never mentions the husband, but yesterday I thought I would – which may have been a Secret Society cockup / mis step. I don’t know if there is an actual protocol on this? Does anyone know?

    So I say “how’s your husband doing with all this?”

    she says “he’s fine, he’s worked straight through from home, he’s in IT, it doesn’t make any difference to him”

    I say “oh that’s good, a lot of people are struggling being couped up together”

    She says “no, we love being together, we’ve been together 15 years, and you either grow together or you grow apart” – but it just felt emotionless.

    I say “ahhh. He sounds like a lovely guy, you’re lucky” – change subject.

    So this job finishes on Monday, but there will probably be more with this customer and the RD arrives for 8 days of house arrest tomorrow so I have other things to do.

    She didn’t text me that bill because the mother paid her, and so I have no direct contact.

    I’m thinking of asking her to what’s app me the photos, then chit chat a bit for a week or so and then invite her over to ‘sort out’ something to do with Instagram.. / or / I might say “drop in if you’re passing I’ll knock up some mushrooms on toast to thank you for that Instagram work”

    I have to say that apart from proximity I’ve had no other IOI’s. No preening, no hair flick, nothing. All of which indicates I need more DHV. The only other thing she’s said when she’s looked at the job is “that’s proper graft”. Might not translate to American, but over here “graft” is a term for hard physical work, referring to it is complimentary.

    Thoughts anyone?

    1. The husband probably doesn’t matter, so don’t talk about it as long as you don’t want to rund a “boyfriend destryoer routine” (the german PU-forum is full of that). And it seems reasonable to ask her to WhattsApp the pictures, or go straight for the number as of “Was nice talking to you, so hand me your number (or hand her yours’) to stay in contact.

      Most people are eager to establish any form of social contact.

    2. Work the Instagram angle… make sure she posts the pics she took. Then have her come round to your place to take some pics of your work there and show you how to post them to your account or whatever (which is very easy).

      Don’t mention lunch just do something while she is there, if she comes.

      The insta angle is plausibly deniable and establishes comms.

      1. Her comment about her husband is a positive.

        She has beta sorted. If she’s looking for anything its an alpha fuck. And you after 15 years an IT guy isn’t hitting those notes too often. No need to mention him anymore.

        What you need to demonstrate is the secret part of secret society. Discretion. Her family can’t find out.

        It has to happen in that liminal space.

        So your pitch has to be spot on. She has to know but not know what’s up. Laser and a touch of kino are your friend.

  39. I’ve been puzzling over figuring out a woman’s message: “I’m drinking Patron tonight.” She was buzzed, but not tipsy.

    Did that mean

    “I’m gonna fakk tonight” or
    “Buy me a drink” or
    “Make a move on me” or
    “I’m ready to spend money on a hotel”?

    Background

    The bar where the woman said this doesn’t carry Patron.

    I’ve known this woman for many years and danced with her many times. She goes out weekly without her husband and is early forties and shows a lot of leg, generally. Very nice body. Face is a 6, but she is extraordinarily nice and well-mannered and her voice is always musical. Never has anything bad to say about anybody and a no drama woman, which is extremely unusual. The woman probably earns more than her husband and is set financially.

    I’ve told her that married isn’t my thing. Several times, because circumstances like her giving me enthusiastic hugs. And I know her secret code when she’s banging someone she met at a bar.

    Curtain #2 is out because the bar doesn’t serve Patron. And door #1 seems irrelevant. So curtains 3 or 4 look to be the only ones left.

  40. Does YaReally’s “Mr. Miyagi” drills translate over to day game well? For some reason I feel more comfortable approaching in the day vs. at night for, so perhaps that’s something I should improve on as well? Asking as a long time lurker of game blogs whose finally getting real skin in the game, so I’m basically a noob for lack of a better word.

    P.S. Thanks for the recommendation Sentient, much appreciated.

    1. Hit it HABD!

      400 drill incoming…

      lol…

      @Lumenwood

      props on making the choice to put in the effort to improve your life…

      you’re not the first man that has approach anxiety… and you won’t be the last…

      Culum Struan was a good case study…

      (and i hope ‘the PUA formerly known as Culum Struan’ is doing well…)

      https://therationalmale.com/field-reports-comment-page-2-comments/comment-page-89/#comment-256319

      https://therationalmale.com/field-reports-comment-page-2-comments/comment-page-138/#comment-285005

      these^^^ are some followup comments by @Culum… i couldn’t find the comment where i laid out the challenge for him, but…

      basically, the 400 Challenge is to approach 400 girls (or anybody… if you are really struggling socially… and if that’s true, get those 400 interactions and then do another 400 just focused on girls…) as fast as possible (a weekend should be enough time, if you are out someplace like a busy city block or a mall… although, with the virus lockdown sh*t that might change your expectations…)

      just stop her and ask her…

      ‘can you tell me how to get to [whatever local attraction/store in the area]?..’

      (my first stop in the mall, i asked a little old lady in a beige coat if she could tell me where the pet store was…lol)

      and then do a socially congruent exchange of one or two back-and-forths (like compliment her somehow… or comment on the weather… whatever you want…)… and then LEAVE the interaction in a socially congruent way…

      “thanks!… have a great day!”
      “thanks anyway!… have a great day!”

      one exchange = 1 of the 400… get 400 as fast as possible…

      no trying to extend the interaction…

      no trying to get her number…

      no trying to instadate…

      just interact and leave… to get to your next interaction…

      before the virus lockdowns, you could easily do this in a weekend…

      the process is experiential… so you have to put in the work…

      while you are going through the process, focus on observing YOUR reactions… as well as the overall interaction…

      and if you use the same script, after a certain number of times, you will start to get bored… just keep going…

      then when you get to 400, report back and write up a FR…

      good luck!

      1. Hi HABD!

        I’ve been getting back out socially since October and have started back dancing beginning February and am getting my social legs going again.

        I dance with friends first, then unattractive girls, then attractive girls. In between I nurse a drink and chat up (male) friends and couples I know and meet. I don’t need a number, but a path and a strategy.

        I get invited to private parties in bars where there is no dance floor and I am doing karaoke now, which is new to me. And now I’m friends with a DJ and get drinks free in a bar.

        I have a new vision of social conversation where it is a mine field and you have to be able to avoid the mines and everything is good. Or maybe you’ll deliberately trip a mine and apologize and playfully say, “did I do that?” Politics and religion are mines. As is all the masking and social distancing crap–anything controversial. But mines fascinate me for some reason. 🤣🤣🤣

  41. Shit test and guard dog spin up

    So the RD has been here 48 hours

    She arrived Saturday night and it’s now Monday night. She is in quarantine until she leaves so she can’t leave the house.

    All good so far and all fun. I’ve been cooking as usual.

    I’m more or less having the week off but I worked half day today and I’m working all day tomorrow so she has been / will be in my place alone.

    For what it’s worth I bought a truffle and some wild mushrooms to mess around with when she arrived and I’ve been doing bits with those. So that might have been a bit beta buxy.

    Today I get back and shed cleared up the kitchen – not that I left it dirty but I made the mistake of clearing up / loading the dishwasher last night after cooking; but there were a few bits hanging around.

    So tonight I’ve done pizza which means more stuff than usual because I’ve made the dough, shes wandered out from the bedroom In my rugby shirt (her prison uniform) and we’ve eaten and I make a comment about the clearing up.

    She refuses and says “why should I do that?”

    I say “because it’s your job, and I cooked”

    She says “that was last time, and those rules don’t apply this time”

    I pull her out of the chair and smack her arse gently.

    She says “you can’t do that”

    I say “I just did”

    Then pour myself a glass of wine without offering her, I sit down and eat.

    Thinking forward I’m not clearing up and it can sit there overnight because I don’t have enough stuff to eat twice without washing the shit up (bc I’m a single bloke), I’m going to get breakfast out and she’ll have to wash something to eat off.

    I finish eating and go to the other room and when I look round she’s clearing up and loading the dishwasher as usual.

    But I’ll tell you what… it was a subtle power grab, and if I hadn’t been in here I’d have missed it and suffered the quinciquonces.

    1. Nice. They always always always push…

      And it’s soooo easy just to give in that little bit to “get along”…

  42. Sounds like a plan HABD. I’ll be doing the challenge everyday until I hit 400. As far as the lockdown situation is concerned, I live in Blue State Shit-libtopia, so bending the rules is gonna be even extra fun lmao. DO you recommend I keep a log of any particular interesting things I notice during my approaches?

    P.S. I think I’ll keep the name to Lumen from now on, it sounds a bit better tbh.

    1. @Lumen

      I want to say good luck, but it’s not about luck.

      It’s about optimism and doing the work.

      I’m not going to interfere in this except to say it’s a 400 challenge. That means 400. don’t stop at 399, if in doubt do 401.

      No one else out there is doing the work, you do it – and you’ll clean up and get what you want.

    2. Good start. Don’t stop. By the way, if you interact with someone who is full of negativity, just continue on and brush that negativity right off of you.

      Agree with Palma on “399 vs. 400 vs. 401”.

    3. @Lumen

      DO you recommend I keep a log of any particular interesting things I notice during my approaches?

      anything that will help you see patterns and develop insight is good… journals/logs tend to do that… but don’t use them as a buffer…lol… only think about it/write AFTER you have made ALL your approaches for the day and are back at home…

      good luck!

  43. Looking to buy a house. Swamped with work so not spending too much time on it, delegated browsing to wife. She hits me up with opportunities and I just act on them or ignore. Residential market is bullish and good offers disappear quickly, within a week or so.

    We go to see a house that’s above what I intended to spend. Ok-ish, not maxed but not a fixer either, could move in on day one. Some rework potential inside and expansion potential outside. Looking to live there for a while, so not that bothered. This is one of few houses in the area that’s not sold in 3-4 months.

    I tell wife to call the agent and probe the rejected offers range. Tell her maybe we could go for it, just need to research the pain points and price sensitivity. Why isn’t it selling and why others also think the price is too high.

    Wife calls the agent and tries to find out. But the script is flipped on her and the good little thing she is, bless her, she tells them the range she thinks would be nice, roughly 5% below the asking price. The agent takes the average and emails the seller about the “offer”. Wife’s informed, so kindly responds with thank you. I go babe what you’ve done?! It’s not what I’d want to pay and now they have a number to work with… without giving us their first. And it’s become an offer.

    Aaaand the seller accepts… LOL. Wife gets a call when I’m nor around, says she needs to discuss with me and that we’re considering other houses too. The female agent emotes strongly and guilt trips her. Oh the drama… lol

    Cats… lol

    I laugh, babe what we gonna do with you now? I’m not mad, more amused.

    I’m ok to tell them to f-off, but that would probably burn the bridge with the agency. I think the price is too high, but I don’t see how I could play the cards now. I think (haven’t researched) this could be another 3-5% lower as initially assumed.

    What you say boiz?

    I’ll keep it simmering in the background, no need to act reactively.

    1. ^^ just for reference an offer isn’t binding over here. People put in offers all the time and get it to D day and then chip a bit off.

      Some sectors of society go through three purchases at the same time and chip them all at the end and just complete on the seller that folds.

    2. I’d look at the opportunity cost of having to go do the dance with a bunch of others.

      People get too emotionally involved with houses and most home buyers and sellers think they are Donald Trump all of a sudden and burn opportunities over inconsequential monthly 💵…

      If you plan on living there more than 3 or 4 years I’d just roll with it and move on with the real things in life. If you are planning on living there less I’d just rent.

      1. Between £1,500 and £2,000 to get to what you guys would call close, for us that’s exchange, and we “complete” usually a month later – though it can be done same day.

        We have lawyers involved and they’re usually shit so there’s that complication.

        1. @IRL

          It sounds very ghey and woo woo for me to say this but which of the spaces to you actually like, and which can you see yourself living in comfortably.

          Having moved back from the PRG and living in a space i didn’t like into a space I do now like and everything about my life has changed.

          Other circumstances count as well, but the space is a big part.

          1. @PalmaSailor IRL

            that’s not woo… it’s basic hierarchy of needs sh*t…

            good luck!

  44. The masking bs doesn’t bother me as I go unmasked wherever I want. If I get stopped, I just claim a health condition.

    The problem is the vaxx passports that look to be coming. For some, it will be an opportunity.

    Any ideas on how to deal with vaxx passports?

    1. @gamer

      Any ideas on how to deal with vaxx passports?

      Get with a nurse in a local hospital and when it’s you and her in the room, she can sign off that you’ve had your vaxx but it went down the sink.

      It’s happening everywhere. Money may or may not be changing hands. Or you might be banging her.

      1. The nurse would be jeopardizing her license and livelihood by committing fraud.
        At present I’ve read that a good portion of nursing staff will not take the vaccine themselves.
        Wouldn’t it be more expedient for them to just say they took it if it were so easy?

  45. @Rollo: Happy birthday, Rollo.

    I’m very thankful for the knowledge I received from you.
    Also thanks for continuing to host the comments section, I really appreciate it.

  46. Quick synopsis; I’ve been reading game and this site in particular for years and it’s helped me beyond more than I could imagine. I’m an escort and I’ve slept with many beautiful women so far in my life; fell in love many times as well as had my heart broken many times; I’m aware of the many rules and conventions of the game but I’ve never been in this situation before so I was hoping you guys could shed some perspective and wisdom and please be brutally honest.

    I recently got out of prison 7 months ago. I started working at this warehouse and this woman (honestly, a 6 at best; 7 with personality I’ll say) began to hit on me. She’s shy so she used her friend to sort of mediate; she gave me rides after work, we talked about our past, I told her about how I was an escort and a promiscuous, she didn’t seem to mind, in fact she seemed to be into it. I didn’t sleep with her right away even though she kept signaling that she wanted to hook up. A week later we hook up. She has a dominant personality, yet very submissive in the bedroom (which I prefer).

    Things were going great for two weeks; hooking up almost every day after work; sometimes she’d call off work to just to stay with me and fuck all day. Now, she was talking to some guy whom she’d known for 3 years. They’ve never hooked up(according to her); in fact, she said she didn’t want to hook up with him because she thought that it would ruin their relationship. So, he’s essentially the boyfriend but they hadn’t hooked up yet.

    We end up hooking up for another month; everyday, all day. I end up staying at her house for two weeks. We start progressing to couple status without even having the “talk”, and everything was going great.

    Then, one day, after work she said she was gonna drop me off at my place because she was gonna go shopping with her kids, but her wardrobe and vibe said otherwise. I’m not naive so I knew what was going on, I’ve been in her place many times but I didn’t say anything nor act jealous at all.

    Come to find out, she doesn’t text me for days and it was because she had been the spending the weekend with her boyfriend. She said that they finally hooked up and it was amazing; everything they had been holding back, they finally got to show it each other. Then she said she’s spending the whole week with him and he even asked her to move in with him.

    So it bums me out, I like her, fell for her even, but I know it’s hard to compete when emotions are involved( she said she’d been emotionally invested in the guy for years and she honestly loves the guy). However, she would still text me the whole they were together, saying she missed me, missed hooking up, etc.

    In the end, she tells me that although she misses me, misses hooking up with me, fell for me, got attached to me, she can’t sleep with two people at the same time and she doesn’t want to fuck up what she has going with him.

    So my questions are: do you guys think she genuinely has feelings for me?, did she see me as a real option to be a boyfriend?, and especially, if she said she didn’t want to hook up with him, why did she? Even though we’re essentially behaving as a couple( staying with with her everyday, met her whole family, doing everything together). She told she still wants to hook up and misses what we had but she won’t hang out with me.i don’t want to be a homewrecker but what do you guys think I should do.

    Of course, I’ll answer any questions regarding details and fill any gaps for better perspective but I’m really stumped because I’ve never been in the position before. I’ve always been on the other of this situation; so I know how she must be feeling but I just want some perspective if any of you guys have been in my position before. I’d appreciate any help. Thank you

    1. So I have no experience in this situation, but maybe my questions help a bit:
      – Maybe she just wanted to have more options, or
      – Maybe she just used you to make him (the other one) jealous – she might have been very invested in her future with him, while he might not have been interested. So you were an easy way to “show her value”

      Maybe she really saw you as a possible boyfriend candidate, but the other one had something she felt better – which could be a lot actually, or her social circle preferred him.
      Maybe her feelings for you just declined

      And probably:
      – She wants to keep you as an orbiter and possible replacement (just in case, you know?)

      This is not really based on experience, but on junks of theory – so it may or may not be true, but it could certainly help as an outside opinion.
      But the others will jump in and have real experience.

    2. @Noe

      “So my questions are: do you guys think she genuinely has feelings for me?”

      She had feelings for the mystery man you, the vibe of your confidence with women and attitude of abundance stemming from viewing her as
      6-7 smv. X con could have helped to ,don’t know what she knew.

      , “did she see me as a real option to be a boyfriend?”,

      There is Mr right and Mr right now. She had a sense of urgency for you as Mr right now. Not so bad a deal

      “and especially, if she said she didn’t want to hook up with him, why did she?”

      She is likely epiphany phase and looking for Mr right see above. Don’t listen to what she says , watch what she does. In laymans terms , once the new -mystery wore off of your fling she traded you in for a guy that makes a couple more bucks an hour and is steady eddie.

      “Even though we’re essentially behaving as a couple( staying with with her everyday, met her whole family, doing everything together). She told she still wants to hook up and misses what we had but she won’t hang out with me.”

      Even though should be because as in , (because you were behaving as a couple,staying at her house ,met her family and doing togeher) the mystery wore off, she had her fling and is going to settle for steady eddie. She still wants to hook up. Hit it Palma sailor.

      “i don’t want to be a homewrecker but what do you guys think I should do.”

      Any home this woman is in will be a wreck so noe worries there. Do what you want and when she calls for a bang do what you want but don’t chase it.

      1. Update:

        She finally hit me up to hook up; you could tell it’s been a while, she was squirting all over me..she told me.that her boyfriend was trying to control her and she was not having that; she was supposed to meet up with him the night night before she met up with me; we fucked non stop; she rode me nonstop, squirting on my dick nonstop; she told me she doesn’t give me the same attitude; I stayed the night and I fucked her all day the next day, and she met with him that afternoon; but she sti doesn’t text me unless she wants to hook up. What do you guys think is happening?

  47. @Noe

    Reminds me of a story my late father used to tell me – he couldn’t reconcile it.

    Post Korean War, so 1950’s he had a friend that used to meet this girl once a week at such and such a place and time and they’d bang. Never met her or saw her apart from that. This had been going on for ages. There were very few land phones, no internet and no mobile phones. So no communication like there is today.

    One week she wasn’t there and he thought “muh..” but just in case he turned up the following week and she was there.

    So this guy said “what happened to you last week?”

    She says “oh yeah I got married”

    The guy says “oh, I suppose we’re not going to be doing this anymore then”

    She say “don’t be stupid see you again next week”

    She said that they finally hooked up and it was amazing

    It probably was bc her emotions had finally decided to consolidate on mr BB so it’s new relational energy. It won’t last.

    he even asked her to move in with him.

    Neediness already. You know that was the first bang he’d had in a decade. Lol..

    she doesn’t want to fuck up what she has going with him.

    Well THAT ^^ is not desire sex. No sireee… him right there is BOYFRIEND material. For the record that’s beta provisioning. She’s got herself pensioned off and doesn’t want to fuck that up by getting caught banging a bad boy.

    So my questions are: do you guys think she genuinely has feelings for me?

    Yes

    did she see me as a real option to be a boyfriend?

    No, probably not

    and especially, if she said she didn’t want to hook up with him, why did she?

    She had to. Even the most blue pill chump won’t put a ring on it unless he’s banging her, and she’s convinced herself that she “loves” him. He’ll do “everything right”, put out the trash, and in the short term she’ll think it’s wonderful but the guard dog is already spinning up. I can feel it from here.. lol.

    Even though we’re essentially behaving as a couple( staying with with her everyday, met her whole family, doing everything together).

    Well I’m sure she was actually enjoying your company, and she was definitely enjoying the sex.

    She told she still wants to hook up and misses what we had but she won’t hang out with me.

    So say she’s a great girl that deserves to be happy, and you’d love to hook up as and when, but you get it that she doesn’t want to hang out with you.

    i don’t want to be a homewrecker but what do you guys think I should do.

    It’s not you that’s going to wreck anything, what do you want to do?

    1. Holy shit man you were right on target, those were the same notions I had but it feels better now that someone who’s being brutally honest is saying the same things. 

      To add:
      Would that make me the AF?; she paid for everything, I stayed at her place, never helped with trash/dishes/cooking; she bought me whatever I wanted and needed, she would just say, “I just want you to fuck me and make me cum, I’ll take care of the rest”.  Wanted and loved when I treated her like a whore in bed; even in public(with her own family) she would act slutty( bouncing on my dick during a party and letting me pull on her hair, it seemed like she didn’t give a fuck.

      What did you mean by “the guard dog is already spinning up” lol

      That’s exactly what I told her, I texted her, “hmu when you want to hook up again”; she said “OK for sure I will”
      Then I texted her “you have any friends that are dtf?” She just responded with a flat “no”; in your opinion, what’s going on there, what is she probably thinking/feeling?

      I sincerely and humbly appreciate your help and feedback. Thank you.  I’ve been game aware since I was young but prison kinda threw me for a loop lol

    2. Update:

      She finally hit me up to hook up; you could tell it’s been a while, she was squirting all over me..she told me.that her boyfriend was trying to control her and she was not having that; she was supposed to meet up with him the night night before she met up with me; we fucked non stop; she rode me nonstop, squirting on my dick nonstop; she told me she doesn’t give me the same attitude; I stayed the night and I fucked her all day the next day, and she met with him that afternoon; but she sti doesn’t text me unless she wants to hook up. What do you guys think is happening?

  48. Last night, a girl was talking about a project where she created a fake pu$$y with a $hit eating grin–talking to another guy, she said vaj. I thought it Beta bait. She was at the bar with her bf.

  49. @VEGA

    Would that make me the AF?; she paid for everything, I stayed at her place, never helped with trash/dishes/cooking; she bought me whatever I wanted and needed, she would just say, “I just want you to fuck me and make me cum, I’ll take care of the rest”.  Wanted and loved when I treated her like a whore in bed; even in public(with her own family) she would act slutty( bouncing on my dick during a party and letting me pull on her hair, it seemed like she didn’t give a fuck.

    In her mind you were the AF, doesn’t mean you actually are, but it sounds like you’re more in that direction than not.

    What did you mean by “the guard dog is already spinning up” lol

    I don’t have the mining rights on that concept, they belong to @HABD, so if he wants he can step in and explain, if he doesn’t I’ll give you a broad outline.

    That’s exactly what I told her, I texted her, “hmu when you want to hook up again”; she said “OK for sure I will”

    So now it’s down to secret society game and comfort. It’s all about comfort at this stage in the game. She needs to be totally comfortable you’re not gonna blow up her world.

    Then I texted her “you have any friends that are dtf?” She just responded with a flat “no”;in your opinion, what’s going on there, what is she probably thinking/feeling?

    Yeah ok, this is something that’s age related I think. I’ve done exactly the same thing in the past with older women and they’ve shut it down. They don’t want to share their AF. So you can be talking dirty about threesomes with other women etc.. while you’re banging her, and as long as this is along the lines that she’s getting it on with the other girl, they get off and go mad, but if it’s you banging the other girl in the scenario, so far in my experience, it’s shut the woman down, the fantasy doesn’t go there – or it pricks the bubble of the fantasy she’s got. So that’s so far in my experience with older women – late 30’s to 40’s.

    Now I’m banging a 25 y/o, and literally this Saturday the subject of other women came up. I’ve been toying with this during the bang for weeks now and it’s either not really landed or this girl has been too shy to open up.

    Anyway, she says she’s not into them, except one particular one. So I ask is she famous, a friend etc? No. Just some girl on Instagram who has a decent professional job but is hot. So I say let me see, and she shows me some pics, and yeah this girl is hot so I say “I can see what you mean, I’d fuck her”.

    So we’re banging again and I’m talking about her and this girl getting it on while I’m banging my one, and it’s getting her off, but then she says “tell me what you want to do to her” so I think “well why not? I’ll see where it goes” so I say that I’m going to get hold of this girl, tie her to the bed and bang her till she can’t walk.. etc.. but a lot more detail – but you get the picture. Anyway it was like a light switch, my girl gets off harder than she’s got off in the 5 months I’ve now been banging her (on and off).

    So there is a secret society concept – and I think it’s with younger women they will quite happily share and bang the same guy. I don’t think they have the AF scarcity that older women have, they’re in the party years etc.

    But to give you an outline of this “relationship” this girl flies in from a different country at her own expense, goes through all the tests and protocol to get locked in for a week a month in my place and do nothing but eat drink and fuck. Her family don’t know exactly what’s going on and her best friend knows she’s banging some guy, but not that I’m 53. This weekend my friend invited us both over for Easter food and drinks, I mentioned it, and she was very hesitant, and said “you can go”. I said “nah, this is an eat, drink, fuck relationship.” And she said “that’s exactly what it is”

    I sincerely and humbly appreciate your help and feedback. Thank you.  I’ve been game aware since I was young but prison kinda threw me for a loop lol

    You’re welcome, but if you’re in the U.K. do me a favour and lay off the power tools in the white Toyota will ya?

    Residential Burglary

    Not quite beta Bucks steady income most of them are looking for is it.. lol..

  50. Something is definitely going on with “dating”

    Theees an enormous uptick in activity from women.

    These are the likes I’ve received since Friday night, and it’s completely unprecedented.

    https://imgur.com/a/LdtkT5a

    This is apparently going to open up over here in a month and I think it’s going to be a free for all when it does. Women starved of male contact are desperate I think.

    1. That Charlotte is the winner here…

      Yeah the pinging is really amping up. I was at a place getting to go food. The bar was full so I was standing off the corner a few feet away started to deal with a waitress. Bartendress knows me, comes over to tell me a seat just opened up. I head over and this 40s blond hottie and her fat friend are looming at me as I walk to the seat next to her. As I’m doing so the bartender plonks my drink down right in time. Blondie says Wow she saw you coming! I lean in real close as I get I to my stool, right in her face and say “so did you” to a little jaw drop.

      Take my drink cheers her, swig and the banter ensues. Standard stuff. Teasing. A little kino from her to my arm on the bar. Engage fatso a bit. Some chat about her older BF (money implied)…

      When fattie goes to the bathroom, laser blonde, hand her my phone, say let’s grab a drink sometime. She weighs me for a moment, holding my phone, says so you’re married right? Hold eye contact HOLD!!!!! Yep.

      And that moment, the little smirk on her part, as her eyes drop… and her fingers tap. And a bigger smirk and a bit of “smoothing” herself out as she casually hands back the phone. My food comes. Finish my drink, cheers them both again. Saunter out.

  51. That Charlotte is the winner here…

    This has happened since then

    https://imgur.com/a/DwUcO0j

    But in the meantime this keeps delivering itself to my door 🤷‍♂️

    https://imgur.com/a/Cs5P6fH

    Yeah the pinging is really amping up. I was at a place getting to go food. The bar was full so I was standing off the corner a few feet away started to deal with a waitress. Bartenders knows me, comes over to tell me a seat just opened up. I head over and this 40s blond hottie and her fat friend are looming at me as I walk to the seat next to her. As I’m doing so the bartender plonks my drink down right in time. Blondie says Wow she saw you coming! I lean in real close as I get I to my stool, right in her face and say “so did you” to a little jaw drop.

    “Blondie says Wow she saw you coming” – @Sentient – well, she’s actually felt me come enough for her sub conscious to kick in 😘

    Take my drink cheers her, swig and the banter ensues. Standard stuff. Teasing. A little kino from her to my arm on the bar. Engage fatso a bit. Some chat about her older BF (money implied)…

    “Older BF” – Hey I didn’t take it personally 😉

    When fattie goes to the bathroom, laser blonde, hand her my phone, say let’s grab a drink sometime. She weighs me for a moment, holding my phone, says so you’re married right? Hold eye contact HOLD!!!!! Yep.

    Own it, nice move.

    And that moment, the little smirk on her part, as her eyes drop… and her fingers tap. And a bigger smirk and a bit of “smoothing” herself out as she casually hands back the phone. My food comes. Finish my drink, cheers them both again. Saunter out.

    Well, we need to hear the follow up on that – The world is just full of frustrated women, now probably more than ever before in modern history.

  52. An old Cheech and Chong routine has a Russian officer and soldier coming on a piece of “dog chit”, but they aren’t sure it’s “dog chit”. So, the officer, in turn, orders the soldier to smell, touch and taste, to confirm it’s “dog chit”. Once it’s been 100% confirmed to be “dog chit” they congratulate each other on not having stepped in it.

    I have a family member (only by genetics), who wants to be safe from COVID-19. Drove halfway across the state to take the J&J with no ill effects. His spouse, got the “Moderna vaccine” –had chills and fever and was really sick for a day and then gradually improved over the next few days. Ahh yes!! But, avoided getting COVID-19, at least in theory, at least for now.

    Every goddamn person, I come in contact with wants to know if I’ve gotten the vaccine. I am obliged to say that I really, really want it, but alas, I’m waiting for my turn. Because, I honor you by wearing an uncomfortable ineffective mask and pledging myself to take a “vaccine” that may, by itself kill me.

    Oh, I must break from this comment to apply some holy hand sanitizer.

    I’m back, and feeling much holier.

    Has everyone become that much stupider in the last year? Is it me? Am I the stupid one? I don’t think so. But this is how I explained to my wife and children that I never intend to get the vaccine.

    A crazy person, possibly an authority figure, with a gun, wants you to stand there and he will fire one bullet at you. Just one bullet. He admits he’s not a very good shot. He may miss you; he may hit you non-fatally or he may kill you. The good news is that you will know pretty soon. Oh, and he only wants to play this game about every six months.

    You see some woods. You make a break for it. He shouts that you are being unfair to all the other people who just stood there. You shout back, “Fuck you, if you want to shoot me, you’re gonna have to find me.”

    Does anybody else see any advantage in hiding in the woods? Does everyone want to get shot on purpose?

    1. It’s at least pretty unlikely to get serious damage from CoViD-vaccines, I have many good friends here who got it and who have had no problems.
      But I also have several friends who got CoViD and had serious side effects.

      Everything you do can just possibly kill you. Be it racing a motorcycle or just climbing the stairs at home, death lingers behind every corner, possibly.

      The thing is: you need to see the reality of statistics, which is CoViD is not the smallpox or anthrax, yet modern vaccines are an even better option.

      Just my few cents 🙂

    2. You’ve just got to own your own existence one day at anytime. That’s what I’m doing. And I’m not taking the experimental drug.

  53. @If

    The ones pushing me to get the shot own stock in drug companys or are just plain uneducated and following the media. In either case it’s about agendas.

    Medical protocols -SOP’s are getting to be more about the $ and less about health , on a downhill progression.

    There are no guarantees cept death and taxes.

  54. Heading: Story about Billionaire and “OnlyFans” model messy and litigious Breakup.
    Subheading: Real life example of Beta bucks and female solipsism.

    Hi Guys. Sometimes we need real world examples of how these “Rational Male” philosophies work out in real life.
    If you’ve been a reader of this website and know the principles given by Rollo Tomassi, this article (which you must read) is THE textbook case.
    The guy in the scenario is, colloquilial speaking, a whiny needy beta who bitch onflates his wealth (excessive) with his biological sexual value (zilch). The girl is someone who is clearly trading sex for money, a female sexual mercenary who understand how to monetize her sex. Unfortunately she doesn’t understand the crazy expectations of someone who feels owed.

    It’s clearly a fucked up tale with two villains more than victims. I found it to be such a scenario to help think about the concepts.

    Emill

    https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2021/04/inside-the-messy-litigious-breakup-of-an-onlyfans-model-and-her-uber-wealthy-boyfriend

  55. @Sentient

    I was at a place getting to go food. The bar was full so I was standing off the corner a few feet away started to deal with a waitress. Bartendress knows me, comes over to tell me a seat just opened up. I head over and this 40s blond hottie and her fat friend are looming at me as I walk to the seat next to her. As I’m doing so the bartender plonks my drink down right in time. Blondie says Wow she saw you coming! I lean in real close as I get I to my stool, right in her face and say “so did you” to a little jaw drop.

    Take my drink cheers her, swig and the banter ensues. Standard stuff. Teasing. A little kino from her to my arm on the bar. Engage fatso a bit. Some chat about her older BF (money implied)…

    When fattie goes to the bathroom, laser blonde, hand her my phone, say let’s grab a drink sometime. She weighs me for a moment, holding my phone, says so you’re married right? Hold eye contact HOLD!!!!! Yep.

    And that moment, the little smirk on her part, as her eyes drop… and her fingers tap. And a bigger smirk and a bit of “smoothing” herself out as she casually hands back the phone. My food comes. Finish my drink, cheers them both again. Saunter out.

    Nice one.

    What difference did you see when handing the phone to this girl vs. the Roger Sterling one from earlier this year? Sounds like the late 20s was still on the ‘chase me’ offense whereas the 40s was keen to hit the evobio jackpot. Wall + archetype.

    Also, curious if you have a follow up plan… even if it’s only catch & release.

    1. IRL

      well the IOIs were way more up front with this one, so it was practically a green light vs the snarknado of the other. She also had a habit of sticking out her tongue, pink and pointy to lick her lip or her teeth, not when looking head on at her, but when her head was turned to the side, like in paud before she was saying something. Never saw that but some sort of sexy play. Her older BF sounds like a classic richer olde guy, she was caring for a recent shoulder injury he is suffering for example. A leeetle bit of disdain in her voice, he’s probably not hitting all the right spots.

      No follow up. Canned it. I’ve discovered I do not like the in town contacts. Have half a dozen in a mile radius – some pop by to borrow sugar, or walk their dogs, or late night text, or stalk a favorite pub, etc. Not my scene… though tempting. Disentangled.

  56. @If-I-Fell

    Does everyone want to get shot on purpose?

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7913136/

    A fun fact from the article:

    Another interesting, more recent case are the effects of an episode of the Portuguese TV show Strawberries with Sugar [37]. In the show, the characters got infected with a life-threatening virus. After the episode had been broadcasted, more than three hundred Portuguese students fell ill. They reported symptoms similar to the ones that the TV show characters had experienced. Among these symptoms were rashes and difficulties to breathe. As a result of these symptoms, several schools in Portugal actually closed. However, an investigation of the Portuguese National Institute for Medical Emergency concluded that the virus did not exist in reality and that the symptoms were caused by the anxiety watching the show, i.e., the symptoms were caused by mass hysteria.

    Same with covid… Same with vaccines…

    Living the dream… in the culture of fear. You’ve noticed how risk averse people are, right?

    Boys don’t open girls anymore… to take one example… lol

    Positive predictions < negative predictions…

    Giving up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety…

    What’s your risk appetite?

    Meanwhile, power and money are being transferred…

    From Ca$vertising: How to Use More Than 100 Secrets of Ad-agency Psychology to Make Big Money Selling Anything to Anyone by Drew E. Whitman

    In their study, Age of Propaganda (2001), Pratkins and Aronson argue that, “the fear appeal is most effective when:
    1. It scares the hell out of people.
    2. It offers a specific recommendation for overcoming the fear-aroused threat.
    3. The recommended action is perceived as effective for reducing that threat.
    4. The message recipient believes that he or she can perform the recommended action.”
    The success or failure of this strategy relies on the existence of all four components. […]
    What’s more, if you create too much fear, you could actually scare someone to inaction, like a deer, staring frozen into the headlights of an incoming SUV. Fear can paralyze. And it will motivate your prospect to act only if he believes he has the power to change his situation. That means in order to craft an effective fear appeal, your ad must contain specific, believable recommendations for reducing the threat that are both credible and achievable.

    1. ” . . . the symptoms were caused by mass hysteria.”

      There’s a paper out there that is tagging “long COVID” as the first disease spread by Twitter.

  57. This might seem like a slightly obscure enquiry but what do you guys think in the following scenario:

    A woman chooses you and allows you into her house to work there, and you may be working for 2 or 3 days

    So far, working in these houses the woman has been quite happy to leave me alone in the house – with total access to the whole property and all it’s contents – sometimes for prolonged periods while she leaves and does other stuff – goes to work – walk the dog, kids to and from school etc. There has been no problem here including no problem with payment.

    On the other hand I have quite a large project with a man customer, and he wanted references. I asked two of the above women and got brilliant references and got the job.

    No women have ever asked for references.

    Where I’ve worked for the man the same has applied. All good.

    There’s a third scenario where the man was doing the communication with me, however, he had to “go and discuss it with his wife”. This was a red flag in itself.

    He then came back some weeks later (after he’d had all the circus clowns through the door searching for a cheaper quote; none of whom had the slightest idea how to handle the problem he’s got, and all of whom quoted twice what I did) and left me an answer phone message saying “my price was a bit strong but subject to talking about that he wanted to go ahead”, and I ignored that. I then got an e mail saying that “my wife and I would like me to do the work at the price quoted”.

    I e mailed him back saying I’d finally got round to checking all my messages, and he should find someone where he IS happy with the price and proceed with them.

    I thought in that scenario, 1) the guy was a pussy, and 2) more importantly, I was going to have a problem getting paid Via her in the background.

    So if we finally get to what I’m suspecting, and that is where a woman has the CHOICE who she lets in to work in her (territory) house (so not a cable engineer or something where you get the guy you’re given and she may or may not hover over him watching every move);

    is her hindbrain making the SAME decision it makes about who she lets into her knickers?

    1. @Palma

      Getting down to brass tacks, “is her hindbrain making the SAME decision it makes about who she lets into her knickers?”

      Definitely , Same as game, first impression, attraction, comfort, lead, isolate and close the deal. She will even let you into her panties but then getting paid gets complicated, I don’t mix business with pleasure.

      “So if we finally get to what I’m suspecting, and that is where a woman has the CHOICE who she lets in to work in her (territory) house (so not a cable engineer or something where you get the guy you’re given and she may or may not hover over him watching every move);”

      Iv’e had women customers “hover” over the whole job and ended up banging them, one in particular just loved to get my attention then arch her back and bend over right in front of me, flashing the upside down camel toe. She had a nice boob job, I was really supprised how tight she was.

      “There’s a third scenario where the man was doing the communication with me, however, he had to “go and discuss it with his wife”. This was a red flag in itself.”

      Yup, wife consultation is a huge red flag. I never know If the guy is just beating me up or really giving her a choice in the matter. The worst thing is when some AFC’s wife gets the hots for me, Iget hired , he picks up on it and busts my balls till the contract is fulfilled. Nothing worse IMO. Ive actually had couples get divorced right in the middle of building their ” Dream home”, now who is paying on the note?

      This working in “responsible” adult homes as a contractor is a deep subject and the stories go on and on but my son is on his way over to play with my new toy. See Ya!

    2. Athol Kay used to say, any woman that will be alone with you for more than three days is open to being banged by you. Said in the context of a visitor, friend staying over etc.

      Similar dynamic I imagine. I’ve seen a couple of divorces due to the “handy man”

  58. @stuffinbox

    That’s exact what I thought.

    Until now I’ve never mixed it with business, because primarily I’ve wanted to get paid.

    However I’m now doing lots of volume of Lower value work, or the gubbermint are
    Paying anyway so I’m thinking – why not?

    Right now my clients are a bit older, but now I’ve got the theory, the practice can wait until I get the correct target.

    @Sentient

    Yeah, you mentioned that when I was working in old friends house with EEGF. I couldn’t act on that at the time, but today I’ve finished a job, I’ve been in the house 3 days, (2 with a labourer so I couldn’t play any Secret Society) but today on my own and I’ve just been invited back to do another job. And the wife held the decision on that. Distinct from the above, he didn’t have to refer to her on it, this is something she has wanted to get done for ages, and I’ve got the job.

    1. @Palma

      “the gubbermint are
      Paying anyway so I’m thinking – why not?”

      Keep looking for the next opp

      https://wattsupwiththat.com/2021/03/29/uk-government-scraps-green-homes-grant-after-six-months/
      “People who have had their applications for vouchers under the scheme accepted will receive any money owed, but no new applications will be accepted after the end of this month.”

      My guess is the laws against rent and selling low r value fossil fuel heated are still in place.

      1. @Stuffinbox

        Yeah I’m on that.

        I didn’t give you the full rundown bc I’m thinking more about banging the women. I still have one other plate I’m spinning that’s turning up today, but I’m determined to crack secret society, and roll out the acquisition of younger. It’s obv. That younger needs proximity and in person game as opposed to online.

        It went bonkers getting quotes in prior to the deadline. I’ve been doing nothing but issue quotes on that stuff since I told old friend to stick it in November. I have a lot in the system to be installed by end of June. Potentially more than I can physically actually install.

        Plus private work is spinning off this stuff at an incredible rate. Mainly from women who are frustrated at the lack of “people they can trust”

        Also the gubbermint have dealt with the “glitch” and I’m being paid within 5 days like I’m supposed to be.

        One way or another I probably have private work until the end of August, and that’s if nothing new comes in. My gut feeling is that if I stopped marketing then referral work would come in faster than I could do it. I’m looking around the place and there are very few young men. Very few in vans driving around the place, very few in builders merchants, it seems the vast majority are older men. So fewer and fewer men that can actually do anything.

        Anyway, I don’t mind being a one man band for a bit while I get the hang of it, but I reckon I’ve got one more proper go at something of scale in me – and this is it.

        So there is still the ECO funding – That doesn’t actually stand for what you think it does over here. It actually stands for “Energy Company Obligation”

        So they stick a levy on everyone’s fuel bills, I think 5% and that has to be spent by the energy companies addressing “fuel poverty” ie improving the energy efficiency of the homes of anyone on benefits. There are a lot of those one way or another.

        Obv. The energy company DGAF so they dump this funding out via brokers and if you wanna play then you have to go find the customers, do the work, submit the evidence and the munny arrives in 7 days. They have targets to dump the munny, so the more work you can do, the better the rate you get.

        So I’ve been scratchin my balls thinking about this but I couldn’t get hold of any of my old call centre girls until literally Tuesday lunchtime and now we start a trial with her working out of my spare room in a couple of weeks.

        It’s actually the first time I’ve ever tried to give away free stuff so we’ll see how that goes.

        Anyway – I reckon all that^^ might be coming your way at some point. Might be something to jump on.

      2. Ps

        My guess is the laws against rent and selling low r value fossil fuel heated are still in place.

        Yeah, and they’re tightening that noose. The next click is in 2025. Everything has to be MOAR EFFICIENT!

        The last point is that they are ratcheting up the compliance faster than they are thinking it through so there are only about 270 people who are qualified to oversee and sign off ECO funding in the country.

        From the end of June it all stops unless you have one of those qualified guys.

        And In a minute it’s going to be 271 qualified guys 😎

        1. @Palma

          “I didn’t give you the full rundown bc I’m thinking more about banging the women. I still have one other plate I’m spinning that’s turning up today, but I’m determined to crack secret society, and roll out the acquisition of younger. It’s obv. That younger needs proximity and in person game as opposed to online.”

          Sounds like you have your priorities in order.LOL Not sure if secret society is for younger snatch as much as it is for older with more at stake. For the younger nonchalance is as good as secret because nobody cares. IMO. Also you could play the eco warrior role as these younguns are buying into that bs. As for Proximity, location is everything, location location location! That reminds me , we are all here for our own reasons.

          Speaking of location , I have set myself up in a spot and now am literally surrounded by widows no kidding. The few young single property owner women are of the ” strong independent” variety.

          As for the ECO green jobs here , remember residential is stick frame so we just punch a hole blow in some insulation and patch -paint. Any one can do it and they have been for years. The new govt programs are for govt buildings that are huge and the worknis going to insiders.

  59. @Stuffinbox

    Eco Warrior

    That really isn’t me. And I can’t even fake it to be honest. But the whole gig is good because it does legitimately reduce energy costs by a long way. So there is a return on the investment – it’s a strong sale.

    I’m quite near to starting to turn the handle on this thing bringing in customers via telesales, and they will be younger.

    The nurse that is a plate and is spending a few days here right now came in via telemarking. 😂😂 we cold called her to sell her something else and she ended up with the full maintenance package.. lol..

    I don’t know about the younger / older difference in secret society. I’m definitely a secret for the RD. I do know the full name now. But there’s nothing online however she’s not that type. No social media. Etc.

    We have almost no contact between visits. No texting or calls for weeks on end. When she does text it’s for logistics.

    When she arrives it’s totally different, she wants to be curled up with me. When she’s here and I get back from work, she asks me how my day has been – I mean can you imagine that ? 😂😂

    She’s built a parallel life in this secret world.

    We were actually in a conversation that started along the lines of submission / dominance, and I said there aren’t many men women can submit to. She said a lot of men try to be dominant but they’re just idiots. Then I said that women despise weak men, and she made a face and corrected me, in her case she doesn’t despise them, she’s just totally indifferent. They’re just invisible.

    It’s not even actually about dominance, it is more about being an oak tree in a storm. Even the RD who is highly stable by female standards flaps slightly about the odd thing and needs the solidity to lean against.

    But yeah, I’m a secret, and I can only assume she’d get howls of shaming about the age gap if she confessed. Or she’s got a boyfriend back at home. But I doubt that actually. I just think her whole family would freak out bc I’m almost her dads age.

    What I really want to crack is the slightly older secret society stuff. The sort of thing where the woman is already BB funded / provisioned and doesn’t want to mess that up. That’s going to need better / different game.

    I’m sure you know this, but it’s surprising me, You can walk into a house as a tradesman and you can just see the dynamic, some of these women just despise their husbands / partners. They wouldn’t piss on him if he was burning, but they’re making me tea, a sammich for lunch… etc…

    They’ll be talking about the job and they’ll shut him up when he tries to ask me something. Honestly through the RP lens some days are just unbelievable.

    Speaking of location , I have set myself up in a spot and now am literally surrounded by widows no kidding. The few young single property owner women are of the ” strong independent” variety.

    Interesting. There are widows and single older women literally everywhere, more than you could ever imagine. You don’t really see them out and about all that much, but they’re there behind the doors.

    On their own, with no man. No one to do the shit they want doing.

    The “strong independent” ones are going to go that way eventually as well. And they’re anything but strong and independent, we all know that.

    As for the ECO green jobs here , remember residential is stick frame so we just punch a hole blow in some insulation and patch -paint. Any one can do it and they have been for years.

    Yeah well you’re not as far down the road as we are with overbearing regulation and “standards”. When that ^^ level of insulation won’t achieve the goals demanded by the puerile warriors, or when energy costs get taxed to oblivion and so high you can’t actually afford heat / cool the place you’ll have to start with very high levels of thermal insulation. That means in the roofs, under the floors, and then internal wall, where you pin it to the inside and have to totally re decorate; or external wall where you pin it to the outside, or both, and then you get potential technical problems.

    Then^^ you need qualified competent installers or you turn the place into a shit hole running in damp and mould.

    I’d be interested to know what a kilowatt / hour of energy costs over there both gas and electric.

    The new govt programs are for govt buildings that are huge and the worknis going to insiders.

    No surprise there

  60. So, bars have opened up for outside seating only.

    Yesterday evening I walked from my flat to a bar i used to go to and sat myself outside for waitress service.

    Very hot young (early 20’s) thing comes to serve and I want beer and a bit of lime juice to go in it. She gets a bit flustered with this but mages it and we chit chat about loads of stuff. She has nothing else to do bc there’s only about 4 outside seats and I’m the only customer.

    Lockdown is doing her head in, she lives just up the road in a quiet village (it will be with parents though I didn’t ask) and nothing is going on etc.

    Now all I have to do is get her 200 yards down the road into my place, and set light to some strawberries and I’ll probably get it, but for the life of me I can’t think of the plausible deniability.

    She’s going out partying Friday night at an open air nightclub locally, and I said I’d see her there and we joked bc we both know I won’t be going.

    I could just try outright sexualising the conversation but where I’ve tried that before with this age gap, it’s blown up. My reading of the age gap thing is that it has to be secret society in the seduction, and probably most of the way through.

    I think you have to DHV without sexualisation, run A & a lot of C at the same time and escalate fast. Totally pull back when they push back, DHV again and then take another pass. Repeat as required.

    I’ve got 6-7 days until the RD arrives and then I’ll be busy. I could take the RD there as pre selection and joke with them both that the RD has always wanted to fuck a brunette.

    Any thoughts?

    1. Ask her if she can cook, she probably can’t, and use that to invite her over.

      If she says she can, use it to invite her over and show her how much better you are.

    2. “Lockdown is doing her head in,”

      There is no lockdown on a sailboat, rowing across the atlantic or just up the street at my place.

      “she lives just up the road in a quiet village (it will be with parents though I didn’t ask)”

      We all have to live someplace the key here is she is dying to get out for excitement even helping an exciting man , someting new different & cool anything she has already seen the male selection in her proximity.

      “and nothing is going on etc.”

      sounds like an invite to show her a good time.

      “but for the life of me I can’t think of the plausible deniability.”

      When there is nobody around you don’t need it, what you need is social proof and to be seen as dangerous to other men, women this age can sense when you intimidate the boys.

      “I think you have to DHV without sexualisation”

      You have to know what she thinks HV is before you can D. sexualization is in the eyes and smile.

      RD could help for proof of preselection still betting on excitement.

      There are these guys downtown that have a huge warehouse and will come out and insulate parts and labor for less than we contractors can buy the parts for.
      New construction is r48 roof, r22 walls, r19 foundation , full building envelope like tyvek wrap and ruberized window flashing. I have fixed up some oldies with interior frame, electrical , plumbing, insulation (the main reason to start with) , drywall, paint, trim, flooring it is about the same as finishing an unfinished basement with added rewireing and replumbing.

  61. @Sentient & Stuffinbox

    Thanks. I don’t thing I’m going to be able to engage until Saturday now but watch this space.

    Then “come over and I’ll cook” thing seems a bit overt, will need some toying with. And possibly end of a shift for her so she hasn’t got time to “discuss” it with any influencers.

    When there is nobody around you don’t need it, what you need is social proof and to be seen as dangerous to other men, women this age can sense when you intimidate the boys.

    I’d always thought that they needed their own plausible deniability, but granted they would need a LOT more of it were in front of a group.

    I’ve got a thought thread on the dangerous to other men thing. I’d never thought of it in precisely those terms but you’re right, and something happened a year or two back that I’ll recite when I can get round to it.

    There are these guys downtown that have a huge warehouse and will come out and insulate parts and labor for less than we contractors can buy the parts for.

    Arsehole manufacturers should manage and protect the margins in their sales channels and not allow such a gap to exist if they want their products promoted by all.

    Interesting today through the RP lens. Young couple, she’s a lawyer and he’s a postman, and a genuine nice decent guy – the type that get slaughtered.

    She’s been dealing with the job, but I haven’t met her, it’s been on the phone / zoom. 1st day today and she’s had to go into the office but she tells me her “partner” is there and will let me in etc.

    So I get on with it, he makes me a cup of tea and offers water etc.. towards the end of the day he has to go out so he asks if I’ll be “ok” if he leaves me in the house on my own? Will I need anything? Errrr.. well.. yeah I can probably manage thanks and so he leaves me in the house and gives me a spare key because he thinks I might lock myself out accidentally so I need a key to get back in. Right. Yeah. His parting shot: if there are any problems, just call [her name].

    And I’m just grinning. He just didn’t see it, he meant it. Total deferral to her, it didn’t even occur to him that he should have any input, it was a direct line to her.

    She’s there tomorrow and Friday while he’s at work.

    1. “come over and I’ll cook”

      Not that, more can YOU cook, expecting a no and then a story about your DHV 999 and then something like come by and ill show you how to do it… pace it into the interaction while subcomming strongly

      1. Thanks. For some reason sometimes I don’t see what’s right in front of me.

        If she were age appropriate That^^ would just happen on autopilot and I’m not even sure I’d know what I’d actually say.

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