Sitting here like uninvited company
Wallowing in my own obscenities
I share a cigarette with negativity
Sitting here like wet ashes with X’s in my eyes
And drawing flies

Bathed in perspiration drowned my enemies
Used my inspiration for a guillotine
I fire a loaded mental cannon to the page
Leaning on the pedestal that holds my self denial
Firing the pistol that shoots my holy pride
Sitting here like wet ashes with X’s in my eyes
And drawing flies

And I said “Hey what you yellin’ about
Conditions, permission, mirrored self-affliction?”

“Hey what you yellin’ about
Sadists’ co-addiction, perfect analogies?”

“Hey what you yellin’ about
Conditions, permission, mirrored self-affliction?”

Leaning on the pedestal that holds my self denial
Firing the pistol that shoots my holy pride
Sitting here like wet ashes with X’s in my eyes
And drawing flies

697 comments on “About

  1. Rollo,
    Love your work, have just finished preventative medicine for the second time but would love to ask your opinions on a few things I’m going through at the moment.

  2. Hello Rollo, are you still doing consults. I am the perfect example of Bets Blue and I am in the process of unplugging. I’ve been following you and the red pill group for the last month and my wife of 4 years, who had been riding the clock carousel until she met beta me, told me that she wants to split. I know that tough time are ahead but believe that with red pill knowledge I will be much better prepared and will shorten my grieving.

  3. UCLA Students Sign Petition to Put Trump Supporters in Concentration Camps

    February 23, 2019
    Keywords: concentration camps, diversity, kaitlin bennett, radical left, sensitivity training, ucla

    Kaitlin Bennett went undercover at UCLA as Jenna Talia to ask students to sign a petition to throw conservatives into involuntary re-education camps.

    [b]Not only were the students she approached ecstatic to sign it, but one member of UCLA’s student government encouraged her to change the language to “diversity” and “sensitivity training” to hide their real intentions so the administration would approve it.[/b]

    Watch the craziness below.


  4. Hi Rollo,
    The first part of this piece caught my attention so thought I’d pass it on. It rather backs up your statement about women trying to force men to abandon their reproductive strategy in favor of the female reproductive strategy.

    Sex: It doesn’t Mean What You Think It Means

    Your spouse probably doesn’t view sex the way that you do–and that’s a good thing. When God created men and women, He did it in such a way that our differences work together to strengthen the bond between a husband and a wife. Unfortunately, we sometimes assume that our spouse values sex for the same reasons that we do. This is a recipe for frustration and conflict. How do men and women view sex differently–and how can these differences strengthen your marriage?

    How men view sex
    At the risk of generalizing that all men (or all women) are the same, we can still see patterns. Men generally approach sex as the starting point for intimacy. In the process for building closeness, physical intimacy often comes earlier for men than women. Making love to his wife often helps a husband feel valued, and respected, and it unlocks a part of him that promotes emotional, spiritual, and mental closeness to his wife. In other words, having sex lays the groundwork for a man to be connected with his wife, and creates a safe place necessary where he can be vulnerable in non-sexual ways.

    Of course, when his wife misunderstands his order of building blocks, the table is set for conflict. When he snuggles up next to her, and begins making his intentions known, but she rolls her eyes, and pushes him away, he takes it personally because to him, she isn’t just saying no to physical intimacy, she is saying no to him as a person. He wants to feel emotionally connected, and he is starting where he is designed to start: with sex! And wives who routinely turn down their husbands for sex–yet complain that “He never opens up to me about his feelings!” may find the answer by understanding that their rejection of sex makes it difficult for him to be emotionally vulnerable.

    How women view sex
    Women, on the other hand, often approach sex from the opposite direction. Sex is often the peak of intimacy that is previously nurtured through emotional, spiritual, and mental connection. Having sex with her husband feels deeply vulnerable for a woman, and does not usually feel safe until she feels secure and valued in the other aspects of the relationship.

    Naturally, when a husband fails to appreciate this, he can expect tension as well. If he spends all day criticizing her, or if he does little to show how much he values her, there is little foundation of intimacy from which to launch a sexual encounter. She needs to feel connected before she can be intimate! Husbands who expect their wives to be sexually intimate but do nothing to foster closeness in the rest of their marriage can understand the frustration that they feel at the lack of sex by owning their contribution to the problem: they expect intimacy without creating intimacy! Furthermore, demanding sex without emotional connection can be experienced more as violence than intimacy, doing more damage to the relationship than edification.

    Appreciating our differences
    But when both the husband and the wife recognize the complementary pattern in God’s design, there is great potential for deep and fulfilling intimacy. Notice how both the male and female sequences of intimacy complement each other when both husband and wife are putting the needs of the other first. As a husband, when you are encouraging, affirming, valuing, and bonding to your wife, you are creating the intimacy in your relationship that opens the door for the sexual connection that opens the door for you to feel connected. As a wife, when you are committed to sexual intimacy with your husband, and when you communicate through your posture and your actions that a mutually-fulfilling sex life matters to you, you are creating the space for your husband to be emotionally, mentally, and spiritually vulnerable with you.

    Some steps to deeper intimacy
    Listen: Ask your spouse what sex means to them–and what they would want you to do promote intimacy; then, listen attentively and take to heart what they are saying.

    Empathize: Try to put yourself in your spouse’s shoes. How do you imagine it feels when you respond to them as you do when it comes to intimacy? What response would you desire from them–and how can you translate that into what your spouse wants? For example, if you need your wife to be sexually receptive to your needs, assume that she also needs you to be responsive to her emotional needs–and consider how you are (or are not) meeting those needs. What needs to change in you?

    Act: Ideally, the growth of intimacy happens when the both of you are willing to step forward together, and when both of you are willing to work on meeting the intimacy needs of one another. But it doesn’t always work like that–are you willing to take the first step of meeting your spouse’s need, even if there is no guarantee that they will reciprocate?

    Take time: All of these elements of intimacy require time and attention. No intimacy can be built quickly, and one of the greatest barriers is our busy, busy calendars. Kids, jobs, weekend tasks, church meetings, clubs and sports, everything demands attention. If you don’t demand your own attention for your marriage, your intimacy will suffer. Say yes to your spouse by saying no to other things.

    Sex is not an optional add-on to a marriage–it reflects the deep joy of coming together at the most personal and intimate part of our being. 1 Corinthians 7:5 instructs, “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” Sex is an important ingredient in a healthy marriage. Good sex requires understanding how God created men and women differently, and embracing these differences in your marriage. Enjoy your spouse in all the ways God made you to connect.

    Posted in: Sexuality Sex & Marriage

    Share this:

    Rev. Dr. Rob Toornstra
    Rob Toornstra has pastored a church in Salem Oregon for the past ten years. He has been married to Amy for fifteen years, and together, they are enjoying the adventure of raising two girls and one boy. For fun, Rob enjoys cooking, reading, aviation, and geocaching. He is the author of “Naked and Unashamed: How the Good News of Jesus Transforms Intimacy” (Doulos, 2014).

  5. Rollo, Roosh hurt me deeply. I know all his secrets. His biggest secret I will do my best to keep. This I will tell you, Roosh must be sponsored by twitter. He doesn’t have fifty thousand followers. Maybe a thousand. Roosh has lots of fake accounts. Roosh uses fake accounts to harass Anthony, Tate ,Codybroh, Most of the cccomments on his twitter are him, fake accounts. Rollo how do I stop hurting? Will telling this make me feel better no, I hurt so much. He treated me shamefully. He broke my heart. He locks my accounts on twitter. He doxxed me and my family. He insults me. Deceived me. Every thing is a lie. Made uo stuff. He has never been a ladies man. God bless him. He wrote not to quit relationship while he was talking to someone else. He should have never bothered me. He should have let me go when I tried to go. His insults. It is good I am free. I loved him more than he will ever know. He is wicked. I hurt that is why I am out of control. He humiliated me publicly and made sport of me. Rollo, I loved him but I don’t want him anymore. I hurt too much. God forgive me for telling but I want people to know how he treated me. Also I know how he is after Anthony. Jaygatz is Roosh.

  6. Rollo, I was loyal to Roosh as long as he was loyal to me. I kept his secrets as long as he was loyal to me. I didn’t like Roosh insulting Anthony’s wife on a twitter account. I didn’t like him trying to ruin Anthony andTates business on the sly, even yours.I kept that secret as long as he was loyal to me. He hurt me more than any man has ever hurt me. I put up with insults because I loved him more than you could know. I wanted you to console me. I was in the most pain, hurt I think I have ever felt. Roosh said on one of his twitter account that you are divorced and daughter estranged. That is not surprising as red pill is abusive to women.

  7. I wrote that letter last Saturday because I was out of control hurting. I wanted Anthony to know who was harassing him. I someone to console me. I was wrong. I also wanted to tell someone how Roosh treated me. Telling one person how I have been treated began to ease the pain. For sure I love Roosh very much, but he valued ego more than me. I am not in pain any more. I am not hurting anymore. I am not in a deeply hurtful situation anymore. I can heal.

  8. Hey Rollo – Listened to your podcast with Pat Campbell, Red Pill 101 – Ep. 10: Cheaters & Manipulators

    “What’s the number one reason men cheat? According to ‘marriage counselor’ Gary Neuman, ninety-two percent of men said it wasn’t primarily about the sex. “The majority said it was an emotional disconnection, specifically a sense of feeling underappreciated. A lack of thoughtful gestures,” Gary says. “Men are very emotional beings. They just don’t look like that. Or they don’t seem like that. Or they don’t tell you that.”

    I 100% agree with this statement after being married for 28 years. Women get complacent and eventually take you for granted. I started spending time with a co-worker that payed attention to me but never lead to anything sexual. She actually had desire to spend time with me and appreciated the little things that I did. Funny thing is that she too, started taking me for granted. I see where relational equity falls into this situation and man’s view of romantic love. I quickly see now that the coworker was opportunistically using me to get attention. We were both using each other to get what we were not getting at home. But this is a fallacy and a huge waste of time because what could be was nothing more than a fantasy. This coworker is actually a train wreck and I was captain save a hoe trying to get those feelings of appreciation back from her. I’ve become her emotional tampon guy “friend” in the end. I was not out to cheat, I was out looking for appreciation and love in the way we men see it.

    Do women actually have guy friends or are we all just emotional tampons and have not yet realized it? The quote, “if you are not fucking her, you are her girlfriend…” is one of the biggest truths of the red pill.

    Thanks Rollo.

  9. Rollo, I need some help. I’m reading your first book and am in the process of unplugging. (I’m getting your books for my sons, too). I’m a retired soldier and have been married over 20 years and now am into swinging (more her than me). It’s pretty much an open marriage because she’ll hook up with other men as well by herself. It’s total hypergamy at work. I understand that now, but it’s more complicated than that. I’m trying to use your book to help me decipher and deal with my situation, but it’s so much information, I was hoping you might be able to answer a few questions for me.

  10. Rollo, I’ve been watching your videos on Red Pill and religion and am looking forward to your upcoming book. I’m a single guy and, for the past 30 years, I’ve been a reasonably well-known apologist for the Catholic Church; and so I may be able to offer you some historical and theological insights that may be helpful to your book –specifically, how traditional Christianity has been tragically re-contextualized (in ways you may not be aware of) and so distorted by the Feminine Imperative, as per your thesis. Key to my perspective is the concept that Christianity, in its very essence, calls a man to be voluntarily beta! …that is, to ‘die to self’ (Matt 16:24-26) and to ‘lay down his life for his wife’ (Ephes 5:25) and how this Scriptural mandate became the origin of medieval chivalry (an ideology invented by Catholic monks and successfully imposed upon the alphas in medieval society), and which served very well as an expression of alpha masculinity (most especially within Christian churches) until the rise and domination of modern feminism. If you’d care to discuss this or a few other ideas I have in detail, I’m most certainly at your disposal. 😉 Thank you for your work. Pax et bonum,

  11. Rollo,

    Several months ago, I decided that I was finished with the lying, cheating, and disrespect of my wife. As a result, I decided to start preparing to get divorced. Part of that, was preparing to re-enter the sexual market place. I didn't know about any of this stuff at the time. I was as blue pill as could be. I found your blog from some other random blog about picking up girls. Yours was one of the only sites linked on that site that was free. You have a different outlook on things than the PUA community does. Your way, the red pill way, is about changing who you are inside not just how you act when trying to get laid. That rang true for me. This caused me to realize that I had made the decision to prepare for divorce because I had started to realize my own true value. I am currently 36. I am finally back in college finishing a degree in chemical engineering and trying to get my life on the right track so I can be happy for a change. In the last few months, I've started lifting, I've read your first two books and watched most of the Red Pill 101 and Red Man Group videos. I look at the world differently than I ever have. My life is certainly not where I want it to be yet but everything has seemed to start getting better. I have a tremendous amount of work to do to get where I want to be as a man and I know the road will be tough going. Thank you for putting all this stuff out in a free, accessible, easy to understand format. You are changing lives.

  12. Welcome home, Andrew. It might be a bit of fixer upper, but the roof and foundation are solid, so no worries.

  13. Hi there, I live in Turkey. Getting the printed version of books are quite difficult for me, amazon adds $10 shipping fee. Is there any way to buy an electrnoic copy (kindle or google play) ? Thanks.

  14. @ Rollo

    You say that The Village is training boys to be defective girls but that is only the half of it. The Village is also training girls to be defective boys. All you have to do is looking at these movies and television shows these days. I didn’t imagine half the nonsense they are filling these girls heads with when i was a kid and then they send them out in the world and it is a train wreck as evidenced recently by the video of the big Muslim man fighting and knocking out two girls that decided to “ambush” him for insulting some street vendor. A boy would have known better than to take on someone that much physically bigger and stronger for the honor of some street vendor no less but a “defective boy” raised on Wonder Woman, Captain Marvel and girl Jedi’s doesn’t have a clue and catches an ass whooping as a result. This is a globalist agenda to sow confusion in the sexes and it seems to be working pretty well.

  15. Heya Rollo, Thanks for all your writing – I’m working through your books, (on Preventative Medicine now). Insightful, awesome. I’m 50, young at heart in a way. Good life. Been with a woman for 14 years now. Not married but “committed”, no children. She’s the same age. Though I imagine I’m a blue piller going purple – in reading your work, it explains most of my past relationships, the dark manipulations I’ve always felt confused and trapped by, the inner fierceness that knows its being fucked with but contains itself to be gentler and nicer and so on . Now I’m having some difficulty navigating it on a relational level with my lovely woman. In my head I find myself blaming her, or at best distancing myself, laughing at her on the inside, shaking my head in wonder and cynicism, I’m internally arrogant and like “what the fuck” – annoyed at that endless chatter that goes on with her friends, her dramatic mood swings and dichotomies which seem so visible now. It affects my outward behavior and presence and availability. I’m feeling a loneliness as a result. So I’m finding it hard to be present with her or real. How do I be covert, not overt in my reframing? How do I go about my day staying connected to this love, without expressing too much?I feel like your knowledge is a dangerous secret I can’t reveal. The foundation of my relationship and love real but I want to ninja it to red pill awareness and game it. How have you dealt with this in your own marriage? Thanks

  16. Raven Fall

    “How do I go about my day staying connected to this love, without expressing too much?”

    Step one – put this “love” in a box, and burn it.

    Step two – put your woman in a box, labeled “women”. Proceed from there.

    Good luck.

  17. Hi Rolo or who ever reads this, Im a listener of your books, my job allows me to do, so i had listen to Rational Male at least 4 times and Preventive medicine about 2 and a bit more.
    My question which you do talk about on Preventive but is still not clear, is to know what if the women on LTR get introduce to The Rational Male? will this knowledge make her aware of why she does what she does? will she “calm” down or less-shittest me? how will her game change after knowing what i know?
    Thank you for your time.

  18. Yo! Guido,

    “……still not clear, is to know what if the women on LTR get introduce to The Rational Male? will this knowledge make her aware of why she does what she does? will she “calm” down or less-shittest me? how will her game change after knowing what i know?”

    A little introduction. I went RP. Bought the books. My wife freaked out at my change in behavior. I had talks with my boys. She thought me deranged. She did her homework and checked out TRM. She read the comments and figured out I was commenting. She told me she figured it out I was commenting. I continue to comment. My life is a awesome fantasy ATM.

    The question to you, Guido, is this: Is this about you manipulating to your wife…just right…and reducing her ability to make you FEEL uncomfortable and less shit tested?

    If so, you are and will always be in her frame and are fucked most everywhere else in your life too.

  19. Reading here has shown me much, but leaves me somewhat at a loss in how to apply it to a 40+ year marriage and both being in our sixties…..

  20. Dear Rollo Tomassi, since you are studying the male and female dynamics, from a religious approach, are you aware of the “Theology of the Body” from St John Paul II?
    This book is his ultimate philosophical work, from 30 years of hearing couples confessions, analysed from the Bible and mostly from Genesis, preventing all the damage caused from pronografy and the sexual revolution. I think it will save you a lot of work and I also beleave you have enough backgroud to read it as a philosopher from a philosopher although it was writed by the Pope.

  21. Thanks Rollo. Please write advice on men, the workplace, corporate, and how to proceed as a red pill man atvwork.

  22. Rollo. I just finished listening to the first volume of The Rational Male on Audible. I have already purchased the other two and will begin them next. I also just ordered all three books in print form and I want to be able to read them carefully as well. Your work is truly revolutionary and as a man in his late 50s I’ve had a lot of life experience that validates the vast majority of what you say.

    I understand that your fourth book will deal with religion. I have had varied. Church experiences over 2 1/2 decades that include divorce after “marrying too young”, followed by a debilitating heartbreak over an extremely pietistic Christian feminist who remains single to this day. I’m very successful in the technology field and have now been happily remarried for over two decades — after many years single again. Your work is giving me new insight on how to grow my sense of masculinity and and even better fulfill my role as a married man.

    You probably have tens if not hundreds of mens’ stories to draw from, but if you need fodder for your latest book, I would be happy to connect with you off-line is share more of my story. It definitely underscores the sacrifices men will make as they dive down the thoroughly blue pill rabbit hole that feminine-centric Christian marriage ideals proffer. My story also has an interesting twist in that I spent many years in an evangelical sect where the chief leader attempted to put on an alpha male persona so as to surround himself with the youngest and most attractive females in his congregation.

  23. Hey Tom, I’ve been reading you to get a better grip on the state of the union as it were. I’d love to hear your thoughts on PATRICE O’NEIL, he was the only publicly known famous man talking about this in the current year, and had he not died tragically he would’ve been heralded much like Peterson. What’s your take on what he’s said?

  24. Looks like another disturbance in the Manosphhere. Rollo, please keep the Red Pill 101 going. Since something /somebody is apparently trying to break up the core group, I am surprised The Ministry of Truth is not involved, or is it? This is not the way you get stronger. It’s almost like Lenin and Stalin purging their Officers just before a major war, it restrained the country’s ability to fight. Who is next?
    Keep the focus on saving guys. Fight the good fight.

  25. Rollo, Your writing and thinking style is similar to H. L. Mencken.
    Also you dissect these cancerous patterns like Max Weber.
    You have beaconed the way out for us men through these ferocious, uncompromising, and devouring waves. I am sure your work is cultivating a healthy medium for us (and women). Thank you. Looking forward to attending your talks.

  26. An accolade to Rollo Tomassi and His Rational Alpha Male has been sung back in 1984 by Mina Mazzini with Piu di cosi!

  27. I thought this stuff was lifesaving….. and seeing soundgarden lyrics…. so obscure… who does that…. but its brilliant.. in its entirety.


    fuckyoufuckoff@yandex.com – I only left an alt email because I don’t want the bluepill mainstream holding it against me!

    I would rather you get money I don’t have, if need be, than “therapists” getting medicaid money for their 4-5 inch penises, their unhappysex lives etc and their own start at 30+ years old (never to see a naturally perky titty in their lives in person either) “treating” me for my “depression” that, quite frankly, can not be cured by bedpost notches, just platonic relations or a “lower” or “more realistic expectation of women”.

    However, I have no help, and books won’t cut it. I’m a special case.

    I’ll even paypal like, 20$ a month or something in installments. It’d only be like 88 cents to send it as a gift and judging from the looks of it, you already have the finances for children. I’m disabled, and don’t even have the finances for me. So, there is that. Maybe the sacrifice will mean something.


  29. Hi!
    I don’t know if this is the place to ask but i couldn’t find any contact info in the entire site

    I’ve been a regular reader for some years, and i have to say nothing has ever helped me as much as your works
    But thanks aside, i wanted to ask you if you wanted your content to be translated to other languages, as i think this would be of great help to most men around the world; language shouldn’t be a limitation.
    I’m willing to help with a spanish translation of what would be the primordial works of your site (The best of, your books). That way it could be reachable for people from the whole of South America, Centro America and Spain.
    I would do it for free obviously, not only to help but because in order to translate it i would have to read it again carefully which is what i was going to do anyways.
    If you think it would be a good idea just contact me back and i’ll start working asap

  30. What happened to Benny Hill…

    Seems modern political rectitude made him loose his joy of life
    He seeked refuge in the bottle. It didn’t last long.

  31. I read this site with great interest and I find it to be stellar.

    One thing though: internet is a volatile and fickle thing, and I would like the wisdom herein to persist. Not vanish by some unforseen adversity.

    Your books are great, but I think the collective essays on this site are heads and shoulders more important. Something about being contemporary, rather than a summary. I can’t describe it better, but books are stale compared to the ongoing and updated stream of conciousness that blogs are, hyperlinks and all.

    I could probably scrub the contents into an archive with some nifty web tool, but I would prefer to see it done right by an author rather than feel like a leech.

    So pretty please: is there some way we could collect the essential contents of this site into something more permanent? I’d pay for a ZIP archive with HTML content, links updated to work locally.

  32. Hi Rollo,

    This is probably not the right place for the following post, but I don’t seem to be be able to find a way of getting in touch with you more privately, on here.

    I stumbled upon you in a YouTube talk you featured with Rich from Entrepreneurs in Cars, and I loved what you had to say there. That was a few weeks ago, and here I am finishing “The Rational Male – Preventive Médecine”. I find your work remarkable. Thank you!

    Just one thing: I wish you could have had the book proofread. It is crammed with typos, faulty use of apostrophes “(he’s” does not equal to “his” as “Beta’s” is not “Betas”), unnecessarily overloaded sentences, etc. Just one example, page 143: “… feeling comfortable enough if lay bear (!) her sexual strategy…”. – “Lay bear”, really? I hope the bear won’t mind.

    I think you would do the book and your followers a great service if you took care of polishing up such things.

    English is not my first language, but I am a professional linguist and perhaps somewhat more sensitive to grammar and style than an average reader. It goes without saying that I didn’t mean to upset you in any way by my comment. Please keep up the good work and keep sharing you wisdom.



  33. Rollo Tomassi: You should read article in Lifeste News entitled “Cardinal Burke has ‘become too influenced by radical feminism’ “.

    Note also strong backlash against Burke’s very measuresd, reasonable concerns.

    Burke, perhaps most influential American Catholic prelate, has authority in Church greatly reduced by Pope Francis, largely for his traditionalist views.

    Feminization of Catholic Church since sexual revolution, including Pope Francis’ attempts to pander to single mothers, is topic very appropriate for your upcoming book.

    You are spot on regarding inter gender dynamics, and the Church, using ecclesiastical language, is being torn apart by this feminization of its great institution.

    Note: I can not use my real name, as work at very liberal government agency, where I wouldn’t dare view your blog at work, for its content.

  34. Correction: Lifesite News: “Cardinal Burke: Catholic Church has ‘become too influenced by radical feminism”.

    Rollo, you should discuss feminization of Catholic Church since 1960’s, when Church fell under influence of sexual revolution.

  35. Hi Rollo, I would love to join your tribe. I’m 41 and an American citizen who has never lived in the states. I’m in the education business and I am currently experimenting with kids and young boys with a “red pill” lens. Is there any way I can contact you privately?

  36. Hey Rollo!

    I sent you an email a few weeks back- and I know that you probably get tons of emails- so it may have just slipped through the cracks.

    Anyway, I am 35 years of age- and I’m dating a girl who’s 24 and has some baggage. She’s recently divorced (which is a crazy story in of itself), came up in a home where toxicity is normal, was taught to have the “strong and independent” mindset from her mother (who by the way has been in a slew of bad relationships), avoids problems (ie; drink, argue her points then walk out of rooms, go to sleep during a discussion that doesn’t put her in a favorable light, play games on her phone during talks, etc) so we don’t often fix our major issues. And she is a bit loud and ghetto. Think Cardi B- but an African-American version.

    On the plus side: she’s loving, sexual, she cooks, cleans, and takes care of the dog that I bought her in my white knight, pre-red pill awakening days- some months ago. I made a lot of blue pilled mistakes- and I’ve been working on cleaning things up in the later months.

    She has a great deal of potential- and has toned down quite a bit in the 6 months that we have been together. But she still has her ways. I know based on your timeline that she’s in her “party years” phase (although she hasn’t gone on any girls night out- but she do want to “turn up” and have fun). And at 24, I feel if I try to get her to live how I want her to live, and be a bit more settled and mature, I’ll have to wait to until after epiphany phase. And clearly she’s not there yet.

    So is it worth me staying in this relationship and riding it out in hopes that she’ll grow out of her ways? Or would I be better of seeking someone else- particuarly someone a bit older (around 26-28)?

    The one issue I always had when dating someone in their party years, is the high solipsism, “don’t care” type of mindset. I dated someone several years back that was about 23- and she mirrored some of her immature ways.



  37. I’m curious how you view ester perel, I don’t expect her to be a male focused person, but at least a female trying to explain things about relationships and I know she gets into distance in the relationship, I haven’t dove into her outside YouTube, I realized I grew up In a narcissistic home and just been trying to “not have that happen again” at least the trauma part- but I do see elemwnts of hypergamy in how I got as the scapegoat shunned and devalued like craZy. Made me realize never to let a women shame you!

  38. Dear Rollo,

    I’ve read many of your books and I have spent dozens of hours reading and enjoying your very well-written articles on the web site. I consider myself a proud, red-pill-aware, alpha male, and I have discussed many of the most striking points of red pill literature with my girlfriend who I am going to marry. She herself is happy to consider me an alpha male too; she’s also red-pill aware, enjoys being a woman, being feminine, and having a man on her side who carries the qualities of masculinity.

    My question is: What are the implications for red-pill-aware women as how to live, how to screen for mates, how to make better decisions in general when it comes to dating and mating? (of course, if we suppose that a woman has a red-pill-aware mindset)

  39. Hi master Rollo, and all involved in this amazing website
    Thank you for the work you have done

    Rollo, your book had opened my eyes and explained everything that I have been noticing in my life (my grammar at times leaves much to be desired, for this isn’t my first language). It turns out, I have not been crazy all these years. You truly deserve a monument. Having said that, if things get rough in the work that you do – I urge you to go “E. Shnowden way” and seek refuge in my country of origin [RF RSFSR]

    I am freshly (relatively) unplugged red-piller. My present situation is an ongoing legal battle for visitation rights (ex had shot me with silver bullet from a bazooka). Though it has been a year and a half since hell broke lose, and I have field tested most of what you have stated in the book. It all works to the degree that I never thought before. Christ! Was I a “royally lost” sheep all these years, in terms of what the world is. There is one thing that I still can not overcome completely (but can control) -it is a fear of Legal implications of any relationship, even an ONS. I hope it fades with time.

    I am wondering whether a network of support has been established to help men at most critical time with emotional, legal, and moral advice without state infiltration, as well as some constructive guidance. I have been in the “divorce rigged game” for some time and am well aware of the path that is still ahead of some of us, as well as any pre-legal symptoms. Manipulation of father’s feeling. Affidavit composition for those in financial pit. Financial projection and plans for few years forward.

    Honey badger brigade here in Canada have publicly uncovered to which extend the crisis of fathers rights has been pushed. But state and the society are still adamant to the truth.
    There is no measure to the exposure of feminine emotional abuse, which at times is incomparably worse that physical. For the lack of other means, we must find a way to support one another. Reading i-net takes more time and attention than a conditioned pre-crisis man can aford so here are few crazy options:

    Hot line Mentors?
    “Black Marusya” Recovery vans with 24h service?
    –if AirBnB and Uber got some traction- perhaps we can come up with something app-based for our brothers in crisis. (I bet no Wife will allow such app in her husband’s phone directly)

    your loyal paddavan,

    p.s. if you are curious, the F.Imperative is being pushed hard in RF as well, but not with such firm traction as it is here in North America. It is partially, due to the fact that female alcoholism, mental disorders, aggression and abuse have been open for discussion for past 50 years. There still is firm social and legal respect for the sacrifices and efforts of Men in RF. Women are questioned and prosecuted/dismissed with claims that proven to be false. There is a heavy charge for intentional falsified personal discreditation.

  40. Couldn’t thank you enough Rollo for The Rational Male book. I got the book and started reading it when I needed it the most. And thanks to Richard Cooper( It was his You Tube channel that recommended your book). Before reading the book I truly believed the myth of the lonely old man. I was made to believe mainstream media and family that 30 is the age when a man hits the wall. Your book made me realize that it was all part of the feminine social strategy so that they could feel better about themselves because we both hit the wall around the same time( as per women).

    I myself am a Blogger and shared my views on your book at http://neiltheblogger.club

  41. In reading your books, I wonder if there is a female version, so women too can understand the choices they have made in there lives and the way I now understand my choices.
    What would you recommend for women questioning there own choices?

    1. I don’t think women care about the choices they make since in their opinion they are always right and how dare you tell them anything. By the time the few care to re-evaluate their choices they are usually old (too late) and only desperate men with less option will go for them. What advice can women be given when red pill essentially gives us the hack to avoid, date or use them up if they don’t serve our purpose in the smv.
      How do you even know a woman is really red pill and not pretending?

  42. Rollo … can you link the 16 commandments … Rossiy is dark and the younger gen of men desperately need this (along with your Iron Rules)!

  43. the third day Im reading your book (The Rational Male) went to a swimming pool/sauna, with no intention to pick up girls, met a beautiful girl while reading your book, sat next to her, just said its a nice place to be in after a while, later told her to write down her number on the last page, she asked about the book, told her its just some man stuff nothing special, thank you Rollo!

  44. Hey Rollo

    I’ve been reading your book and have a question about hb ranking.

    Does women in any specific rank has her “natural” game and can you talk about this game characteristics at any rank?

    The same question goes about men ranking. Is men of a specific rank should base his game upon it? I mean, if a man ranked 6… what type of game he should develop beside being funny?

  45. I have been reading your posts. You talk about the burden of performance. But you are against transactional relationship. Don’t you think when a man accepts the burden of performance he automatically enters into a transactional relationship?

    1. I believe the idea of burden of performance is an implied nature of being in a relationship. It’s part of what a woman values in a man. As men in general we have to meet this burden of performance even when we are not in a relationship. It’s a societal double standard that our core appreciation by others comes as a result of being able to meet that burden of performance. A man who doesn’t meet his burden of performance doesn’t get much respect even from other guys even in something as unimportant as playing video games within a group during a mission.

      In relationships women find this attractive and useful to optimize their hypergamy. Transactional is strictly a more direct and crass….”if I let you live with me, you give me pussy in exchange”. Well, if you’re not meeting your burden of performance how can you afford to finance that transactional arrangement? There’s generally not much feelings and connection in a transactional arrangement. I’ve learned from experience that a sexual experience that comes about from seduction, connection, sexual tension or some form of friendship is usually a more gratifying experience for me but maybe that’s just me. Hopefully, this clears things up for you.

  46. “Don’t you think when a man accepts the burden of performance he automatically enters into a transactional relationship?”

    It goes to psychological “self-differentiation”. Look that up.

    In red pill terms: put your oxygen mask on first. Primary in LTRs: Be attractive don’t be unattractive.

    You don’t give because you want to receive, or be externally validated.

    You do it because your glass is full and it seems like the right thing to do.

    The burden of performance is you being full of charisma because you have put in the work to go forward gracefully and hopefully have the wind in back of your sails, metaphoricall, because of your dedicated actions.

    People get to transact with you. Because they want to. Because you have something they want. It’s not forced on them. Like in a covert contract.

  47. Hello Rollo,

    I have just finished reading “The Rational Male”. I picked up your book on a humble while doing some contracting work here in the Nashville area. I saw the book lying around and thought the title sounded interesting. I had it for a couple of weeks before I even attempted to read it. Then one day I decided to start reading and I must say it is one of the most profound things I’ve read in my entire life.

    I am 56 yrs. old and have been in countless relationships (I guess you would call me a ” serial monogamist”) and each one has ended in failure. My current relationship is on life support. Many of the things you discussed I have been aware of to some degree or another over the course of my life, having had countless conversations with male family, friends and peers over the years regarding many of the topics you write about. The way you presented the subject matter made it clear and easy to understand and confirmed much of what I had been feeling for some time. I pretty much couldn’t get through a paragraph without having to put the book down and reflect on how this dynamic has played out during my life.

    I was the AFC who bought into all of the social conventions. One recent example stands out.

    I dated a woman who I thought was the “one”. We met in 2004 at a friend’s house. We went out on one date and really hit it off. There was nothing serious between us at the time. We just had a good time with pleasant company and that was it. We didn’t speak for a few years other than an occasional “How’ve you been” email. Then one day while I was cleaning out my email, I IM’d her and asked if she would like to go out again seeing as though we had a good time the last time. From there we started seeing each other more and more and accompanying each other to various events. Over the course of about 9 months we became close. For nine months there was no physical interaction, we didn’t even really talk about sex, However, I felt there was some type of attraction as she would do things like pull me a little closer when we would take group photos, or, how she gently grazed my hand once when we went to the movies, among other subtleties that I thought were sure signs that she was into to me and this was meant to be. And, as any self-respecting AFC would do, I made myself available to her 24/7. She said jump, and I was on the way down. I met her family, they loved me despite the age difference of 14 yrs. (By the way, the ex was persona non grata due to how he had left a bad taste in their mouths from his treatment of her) I would listen to her drone on about how an ex (not even her child’s father) treated her so terribly. I’d listen (even though it fucking killed me) thinking I’ll just do the opposite to show her I’m not like that. So, I thought I was “IN”. One day we discussed where this was going and decided to take it up a notch. We finally had sex and shortly thereafter I was the first one to say I love you. I can’t recall how long after she did, but eventually she did. Things were cool for a while but over the course of 2 years “things” started to happen that were signs that something wasn’t right. I won’t bore you all of them but, the very first thing occurred when I spent the night for the first time. We were lying in bed pillow talking about 1am and there was a knock at her bedroom window. I, being the “White Knight” that I am immediately jumped up to see what the fuck was going on. Just as suddenly, she grabbed me and rather adamantly requested that I didn’t. I insisted and she literally begged me not to. I thought It odd, and I really felt weird but I didn’t leave. In retrospect, I should have run for the hills, but I didn’t. I “overlooked” it, thinking I’d give her the benefit of the doubt. But, being completely honest, I knew some shit wasn’t right. As I said, “things” began to happen that made it more and more obvious that something wasn’t right. When I questioned her, she denied it of course and blamed me for doubting her and being insecure. Needless to say, it finally came to an end when her mother passed, I didn’t talk to her for 2 days afterwards thinking that would “show” her how serious I was. I regretted how I handled that situation (and others) for a while. But your book helped me put many things in perspective.

    In particular, the chapter on Mythology really hit home. I can admit that I have used and suffered from the Myth of the lonely old man. I have been told on numerous occasions that this would be my fate. I internalized it so much that I convinced myself that the one thing I wanted to do before I left this rock was to have a long lasting healthy, monogamous relationship with a woman. I bought into the lie that being alone was a death sentence.

    The section ” Of Love and War” literally had me in tears as I began to reflect on my past motivations for pursuing relationship after relationship in hopes of finding my soulmate (seems they all were). I had often thought that I was doing exactly what commenter Yohami broke down. I wondered if my ‘need’ to be in a relationship with a woman was the little boy in me trying to recapture the love from my mother that was “taken away” in my youth when my parents split up and my mother had to enter the workplace to provide for me and my younger brother. Coming to (and accepting) the realization that there is no such thing as unconditional love is a hard “pill” to swallow. However, as I reflect, it makes perfect sense.

    Overall, your book is life the story of my life. While on some level it was disheartening to feel like I’ve been a sucker all this time, I feel empowered to own my manhood and masculinity unapologetically. One thing I can take solace in is that life is not over. I am healthy, (physically and mentally) and I look ok for my age. While I don’t have stereotypical good looks, I haven’t had much problem attracting good looking women.

    As for my current relationship, I have found the courage to stand up for myself in the face of the conventions and imperative that I watch play out before my very eyes with the conviction of letting the chips fall as may knowing I will be just fine.

    Thank you so much for the work you do.


    Charles Spradley

  48. ” . . . on some level it was disheartening to feel like I’ve been a sucker all this time . . .”

    Feel dis-illusioned instead, then move forward with clearer vision.

  49. I am writing to express some of my thoughts and to ask some questions.
    I’ve read your work here and there over the years. I appreciate what must be a big personal drive as you strive for better understanding and work to bring others along to your point of view. I don’t agree with many parts of your theoretical model of …what would you call it? …Men and women?…men vs. women? ….But I also DO agree with many of what you describe. I’m not without my own intensive and extensive interactions and observations, professional as well as personal. As a woman, I do find your descriptions of women as overly simplified. You seem to possibly “buffer” yourself from any criticism in that arena with the often used broad sweeping statements that seem to dismiss women as less than men in their intellect or dimension. In my opinion you’d develop deeper understanding if you’d take a step back in this regard and consider this perspective. On an entirely different point, your plate spinning analogy…love it and find it clever, often also hilarious (not a criticism).

    Anyway, what I want to ask you is, so what? What is all of this about? Particularly, does happiness or it’s pursuit play a role? My opinion is that it absolutely does and while I don’t prescribe to a linear worldview (these writings seem to describe linear relationships), I like your intellect, enjoy reading your thoughts, and wanted to ask where the concept of happiness fits in, if at all, and how? When I use the term happiness I am referring to what might constitute a good life, contentment, satisfaction, and peace.

    Thank you for considering my comments and question.

    Sincerely, A woman

    1. In what ways do you mean Rollo simplifies women? I suspect it might have something to do with saying that women can’t help that they are hypergamous or that they act a certain way during their cycle because they can’t help it.
      I like to think that most of the time women are aware of what they are doing and probably exhibit such behaviors automatically from years of practice and being enabled by society’s expectations of them. For example, “There’s no way that little woman can hurt you”, “Look at how she’s crying. You must have really done something to piss her off” or she could just be a great actress. Another simplification, “Women want a man who can dominate them” or maybe there are women who by the sleight of character in seeming like wanting to be dominated by a man actually dominates him while making him feel its all his own idea.
      If these are some of the simplification you’re alluding to. I agree.

      I know you posed this question to Rollo but I’ll give my opinion on the matter. “So, what? What about happiness?” Well, the point of Rollo’s writings in general is to bring awareness to men and let them use that information to better their lives. In a sense that could result in happiness wouldn’t you agree? Personally, I think happiness is overrated and perhaps from a first world view point it is given too much importance. I supposed when you’ve achieved so much that you can sit in your house and order food from an app your standards of what should make you happy is probably so high up there. I think with women especially Western women they’ve been inundated with so much propaganda of what should make them happy and when you factor in their herd mentality in general you can see it’s not such a surprise that feel that fulfillment and happiness should come from optimizing hypergamy from pairing up or fucking up (getting with a hotter guy). Yet, I’m willing to bet if were cast off to a remote island or end up in a natural disaster zone and had to get used to that way of life. All of a sudden they’ll be able to find happiness in those things that were previously taken for granted. It’s also debatable that that hypergamous drive will still remain, “I deserve to live in that better looking shack with that better looking bum” and they’d still reward the men based on their ability to meet their burden of performance even in those harsh conditions.

      There’s too much emphasis on happiness. Happiness is a temporary state albeit which can occur frequently due to a state of mind or other physical factors that facilitate it. If you live in a nice house with your basic needs met you’re generally happy. If you throw in the wrong partner whom a woman is always in a state of conflict with then that nice house and the basic needs being met will eat away at the happiness. Still not every damn thing is supposed to make you happy. Taking a shit doesn’t in itself make you happy, although the relief afterwards makes you feel better. Still you take a shit when you need to anyway. Having a baby (which is painful doesn’t make you happy in that moment till it’s over) and you’re holding the baby; who will down the line grow up to some days really make you unhappy but you love him/her anyway. My point is there’s too much emphasis on happiness. Happiness comes and goes and that should be normal not a state of disaster. The thing is that women let their emotions dictate a lot of things. If she’s not feeling happy based on what propaganda tells her ought to make her happy. She assumes she must not be happy and so will be willing to destroy a relationship just to find the fleeting happiness with another guy or another experience.

      So, when Rollo tells guys to make themselves their own mental point of origin…the wisdom here is not to fall into an endless trap of trying to make a woman happy when it’s an unrealistic endeavor.

      I think you should post this question on Rollo’s twitter or YouTube video. I wonder if between having a family, jobs, writing a book, a blog, doing YouTube if he has the time to go through all these old posts answering everyone’s questions.

  50. Rollo,

    I’m very intrigued by your upcoming new book on religion and the red pill. As a former Christian, I am deeply aware of how evangelical/fundamentalist doctrines on divorce and remarriage drive many men to despair as their marriages fail. I was one such man and have a multifaceted story surrounding my experience with it in the church and with Christian women. I believe that any book covering the red pill and Christianity should address this topic, because it has the possibility to help men at their lowest point in life where they are the most vulnerable and even susceptible to suicide.

    If you need an interviewee or anecdotal material on the subjects Christian divorce and remarriage and please contact me at the provided email

  51. Rollo, not sure you written or spoken about this topic but I just listened on the radii of Court decides that man has to pay ex-fiance $50,000 for breach of Promise of Mary in Florida? Something to mention if not already.

  52. My life is either unraveling or coming together, I can’t tell right now. I hooked up with a secret crush of mine who was “chasing me around” for a few months. I was busy being a drunk and spinning plates and this girl stopped being the hook up queen and sobered up about 3 years ago. She did hook me with a text message that was probably more typical of her “party girl” persona; using “no strings attached sex”, I took the bait. She’s beautiful and knows how to seduce a man. Weapons grade seduction! I deleted Facebook, Instagram, and whatever dating apps. I blocked any number that had been texting or calling. I gave no explanation to anyone. I eliminated many old and new friends, Army buddies and all! Some of those buddies eliminated me too. I took her her serious and played into the “over the top seduction”. She’s really convincing, and I am buying it. She says the classic lines “You’re the ONE, You’re the ONE I’ve been waiting for”. Rarely does she give me attitude if at all. She made herself useful and a pleasure around the house, “like a dream come true”! Is this too good to be true? Is she genuine? She could pass a lie detector test because she believes everything she is doing is genuine. She WANTS to land a man and get married? Doesn’t matter who? Or does it? Maybe just a good catch is all at this point? A guy with a good job? If it doesn’t work she can always divorce. Go back to the cock carousal as a wounded divorcee with or without a child. Or is she really being real? I can’t genuinely tell now and I’m enjoying the attention she lavishes on me. The sex is anything I want! Anytime. Is this genuine desire being displayed or her weapons grade seduction in the epiphany stage of her 34 year old self?
    Her: 7.5-8 sexy and HOT, one LTR from 18-25, left him, dated around, got pregnant and had an abortion from a guy she was hooking up with, fucked around and fucked at least two people that I know in my circle of male friends, and then did a 3 year “No dating, no fucking, get sober work out 3 times a week” program until her bestie, also a friend of mine, practically begged me to take her out and fuck her because she hadn’t been with anyone in a while and was “fruit dying on the vine”. I took her out twice to lunch and games. Never called her back, never answered her texts, I was spinning plates like I said earlier.
    Me: 49 years old, I was a soldier, drug dealer and player for many years and fucked many young hot chicks and now I am an RN and Combat Veteran collecting disability, study martial arts, own my home, money in the bank, no car payment, good physical condition, early marriage and divorce, two children from two women, full time Dad to the 7 year old boy and 50/50 with the 10 year old daughter. I always dive right into a relationship after dating multiple women. I’ll settle on one until I come up with an excuse to “kick her to the curb” and blame her for it. Commitment issues? Well yeah, I have women chasing me down and have for almost 20 years. My body count is well over 200. If I am “singlesingle” I average 2 different girls every month.
    Now, the State of Florida gave me my son full time, his Mom lost him to DCF and foster care had him for two weeks. I rescued him and now I have him until his mother jumps thru the hoops the State wants. I have him with no help from anyone. I have my 10 year old daughter with 50/50 custody.
    I was feeling overwhelmed about being “locked down” and living with the choices I made earlier in life. She said words to the effect of “got it out of my system” about her life. I sent her home packing after that comment. Her basically admitting she rode every lowly thirsty cock intown, including some guys I know, didn’t sit well, even though she didn’t realize what she was saying. Am I wrong, I can’t tell.
    Am I kicking her to the curb and making excuses to blame her? A little help.

    1. James, yes you’re making excuses and kicking her to the curb. You knew who she was and what she had done and still chose to get in a relationship with her. At the moment she admits to turning over a new leaf you kick her out. If you’re trying to lead us to believe you’re a high value man with standards by mentioning your stats (accomplishments) then why get into a relationship with a woman whom you consider low-quality by “your standards”?

      Now about the 2nd part which you’re asking about her motives doesn’t matter. What matters is your red pill knowledge and ability to apply that knowledge. If you consider her a woman who has met your standards and decide to be in a LTR or STR with her then your job is simply to maintain frame and have her in your frame. Frame isn’t something you need on a case by case for different women. She’s not wrong to clean up her act and try to tie down a guy for beta provision. It’s what women do but you also have the choice not to play the role of the savior “beta in waiting” (look up that post).

  53. James.

    Post your frustrations in Field Reports instead of About.

    Copy and Paste what you said here to Field Reports. To get replies.

  54. Rollo, I am currently reading your books. It opens my eyes. I am on the PREVENTIVE MEDECINE and reading about the ovulatory phase. There is something I am wondering about.

    Here almost every girls are on the pill. How this affects their behavior ? How it affects their feminity and reproduction desire ? I searched about and I understand that it regularize their hormones. There is no more ups and downs.

    How is this regularization of hormones impact us as men ?
    Their desire of reproduction\feminity is reduced, But our desire isn’t. Is this why they keep a monopole on sex ?

  55. Ok so the pill is not influencing that much as the time of life girls are in. Ok, good to know, knowing the bigger picture helps navigating the waters. Just improving game without the bigger picture is confusing. Connecting dots, really a eye opening book. Good job and thanks.

  56. Check out on YouTube- ‘SoulPancake- How old Is Too Old For One Night Stands?’ Just in the first 10 secs of the video she says she doesn’t want anymore one night stands BECAUSE she’s almost 30 (epiphany stage) and she’s ready to settle down (had plenty of alpha seed; ready for beta male security).

  57. This is a fantastic blog, even in this so called ‘new age’ there will remain an appetite for essays and deeper discussion!

  58. Hi Rollo,

    I’ve been borderline-obsessed with gender dynamics for the past year now, especially from a psychological/behavioral perspective that allows for application in the field. I especially enjoy your perspective since I studied Psychology and Social Behavior in college and transitioned my career from Applied Behavior Analysis in K-12 education to pursing my passion for art/design years later (slight reverse parallel of your career path stated in the book). I’ve read 2 of your books now and what I find most interesting is how its confirmed the many notions I’ve had at the back of my mind but could not point my finger on. Like hypergamy, the Feminazi Imperative and war on masculinity, why there isn’t available birth-control for males like there is for females, female mating strategies. It really bothers me that there are no popular books that formally educate women on how they inherently select their mates and their own hypergamy. I live in Los Angeles which is very liberal and has an abundance of embarrassing feminist propaganda, especially in the artist community. I have seen talented male artists get pushed out of events to make room for a handful of barely talented female artists that are only there to make a female presence and aren’t even about the art! Not only that, but LA is heavily infested with girly hipster white knights who suck the tit of Feminazi opinion with no conviction of their own and most of the alpha-male population I’ve seen are guys in their 40s-50s on the outskirts of the city that still dress like Uncle Jesse from Full House, but damnit at least they’re proud of being MEN!

    Some would argue that exposing this book to men would negatively affect female dating strategies, but I disagree. It teaches men how to value and love themselves for their unique masculinity causing them to develop an alpha identity that ALL WOMEN WANT instead of the spineless cowering betas society has conditioned them to be on order to “empower” women! If it tips the scales in men’s favor then so be it! The evolution of male sexual strategies will push women to re-think and evolve their strategies in turn for the better in the long run, causing both parties to EVOLVE, so GAME ON! As far as I’m concerned, your books help both men and women understand themselves so they can better be COMPLEMENT each other.

    I may not agree with everything but that’s irrelevant to the bigger picture. What’s important to me is that it’s caused me me open the dialog with my open-minded female friends that who don’t hate men and agree with the injustice against Fathers’ parental rights, male reproductive, contraception, and the declining education of boys as a result of the Feminist Imperative. It’s also led me read the following books:

    “#MenToo” by Bettina Arndt
    “The Feminist Lie” by Bob Lewis
    “The Manipulated Man” By Esther Miller
    “The War Against Boys: How Misguided Policies Are Harming Our Young Men” by Christina Hoff Sommers (Factual Feminist/Men’s Rights Advocate)

    So..THANK YOU!

  59. @PalmaSailor

    I didn’t mean discuss the Rational Male books with open-minded females, but to discuss Fathers’ parental rights (or lack thereof), male reproductive contraception, and the declining education of boys as a result of the Feminist Imperative especially since they have sons, which would raise their concern for men’s rights.

    And yes, do not talk about fight club…as also mentioned in the The 48 Laws of Power.

  60. I didn’t mean discuss the Rational Male books with open-minded females, but to discuss Fathers’ parental rights (or lack thereof), male reproductive contraception, and the declining education of boys as a result of the Feminist Imperative especially since they have sons, which would raise their concern for men’s rights.

    “Have sons” and “concerns for men’s rights” don’t go together, because of the 4:1 ingroup preference women have. Women generally don’t deal in abstractions. If their son gets falsely accused of sexual something, they likely will get fired up. But the abstract concept of campus kangaroo courts ruling about “consent” in a dorm room? Nah.

    Plus all this emo kind of talk makes you more like their gay friend than any sort of “man in their life’.

    Don’t talk about stuff, do stuff.

    Acta, non verba.

    Your first action: take any discussion like this out of “About” and to Field Reports, or any current comment thread. Show some awareness and calibration.

  61. Rollo, I would like to have a convo. Recently red pilled by son. Ironic . Been married almost 29 years. Would love some input, besides get divorced, But that may be an option on the table. Happy to donate to the cause.

  62. Hi guys. I found a newspaper article today about a woman wanting an open marriage. To me looks like she’s tired of her beta husband and wants some alpha in her life. Wants her cake and eat it.

    I’m interested in views if people on this site and Rollo if he can find time. Would make a good blog post.


    I asked my husband for an open relationship and he agreed
    For author Tova Leigh, sex within her (happy) marriage wasn’t enough. So how have they made it work?

    When the nurse from the breast clinic called and said those three words no one ever wants to hear – ‘we found something’ – my first thought was how much I love my kids, and how I might not get to see them grow up. Unexpectedly, my next thought was, ‘I need to book a bungee jump.’ Life is short, and suddenly I didn’t know how much time I had left, so what was I waiting for? It was time to live my life my way.

    At the time, in 2017, I was living as a wife and mother in the leafy suburbs of north London with my husband, Mike. We’d had three girls, including twins, in the space of two years, and although I loved them all, I had started questioning the status quo. When I looked in the mirror, I saw someone who was defined by her roles as a wife and mother. I was restless and frustrated, and felt like I’d completely lost myself.

    So one night, a few days after the call from the clinic, I drew up a bucket list of the things I’ve always wanted to do: pose for a nude photo, do a bungee jump, learn to pole-dance, go to Nepal… Many of the items were about reconnecting with my body – feeling that fire inside – which was one of the main things I felt I’d lost. Women are programmed to accept our bodies belong to other people, from regular gynaecological check-ups to being poked and prodded during pregnancy, and I wanted to reclaim mine.


    Six months later, I got the all-clear. But meanwhile, my sexuality had been reawakened, and the balance between my sex drive and Mike’s, who I adore, had changed. Women often feel ashamed to admit they want more sex than their partners, because people automatically assume they’re just not trying hard enough. But I wasn’t unhappy with what I already had, I just wanted more.

    Until then, I’d never really thought about monogamy, I just bought into it because that’s the society we live in. But I realised it wasn’t something I truly believed in. I wanted to be honest with Mike, so I brought up the subject of taking charge of my sexuality.

    We were lying in bed watching Netflix when I mustered up the courage to tell him how I was feeling. I asked him to pause the TV so we could talk, and asked how he would feel about an open marriage – and he was amazing. He listened to what I had to say and agreed to try it, as long as we took baby steps. Since then, it’s been an ongoing conversation. We agreed on total honesty and checking in with each other on a regular basis – which means I tell him about my adventures, and we often laugh about them.

    An open marriage isn’t something that Mike’s chosen to embrace himself, even though I’m happy for him to; while for me, it’s a bit like coming off a diet – the moment you can have whatever you want, you become a lot more picky.

    So far there haven’t been any issues, but I’m aware that could change. We’ll just have to work it out as we go along. If anything, the decision to have an open marriage has brought us closer. The moment I was able to tell my husband, ‘I want to have sex with other men,’ there was nothing we couldn’t say to each other. I also plan on being totally honest about it with my girls when they’re older. I want them to know they’re not bound by any stereotype – that there are other options. I hope one day they’ll say, ‘Mum was flawed, but you know what? She was herself.’

    ‘F*cked at 40: Life Beyond Suburbia, Monogamy & Stretch Marks’ by Tova Leigh is out on Tuesday (Watkins, £14.99)

  63. Hi Rollo
    I’m a big fan of your work.
    I would like kindly to ask you your take about work and money.
    We are sold the idea that work=money, we are sold the idea that to get married and to have a happy life we need to work. It feel like an employment imperative to control people and play safe while you can get fired in a second.
    The red pill is about piercing through the veil of the pervasive ideology of the feminine imperative.
    Do you think a red pill for the employment imperative is needed nowadays to help freeing people?
    Thank you.

  64. Its World-History whats happening right now in California!

    The gigantic pandemic lie starts to break dowm, a physician from the US is sick of it all, he stepped up, speeking, representing thousands of physicians,from all over the United States.
    Share this information like your were crazy! This Information has to reach the whole planet! Every day that vanishs puts more and more sorrow on mankinds shoulders!

    US Dr. Jeff Barkey stands up for: “…thousands of physicans whose voices are beeing silenced…”

  65. Hi Rollo, have recently finished the Rational Male audiobook which i enjoyed but I have a question about one of the fundamental principles expressed in the 2nd chapter on Plate Theory.

    You advise to be covert not overt when expressing an intent to be non-exclusive and not to indicate explicitly that you’ve got other plates until a point where competition anxiety manifests to the where shes switches to being overt and somewhat acts out.

    Also, in a later chapter you say to avoid at all costs being overt about non-exclusivity and that it should be implied from behaviour.

    What is the advantage of this in comparison to being overt and explicit with strong boundaries from the get-go? Would being overt not pre-select out this headache in the first place?

    Just started Preventative Medicine. Keep up the good work.

  66. “Would being overt not pre-select out this headache in the first place?”

    Sure, by pre-selecting you out of the desirable to women pool.

    “What is the advantage of this in comparison to being overt and explicit with strong boundaries from the get-go?”

    Women hate overt communication. They don’t want to do it and they don’t want to receive it. Does not this exchange sound familiar?:

    Him: Why are you mad? What did I do?
    Her: You know perfectly well what you did!

  67. Hey Rollo, thanks for sharing your precious knowledge with us. But I had a question regarding game. How can we improve game? Is cold approach the only way, or if there is an alternative then please share.

  68. I understand the fourth book is almost done. Just for fun, check out “Dark Matter 2525” on Youtube. It’s all about religion. Thanks for the knowledge .


    Drapetomania was a conjectural mental illness that, in 1851, American physician Samuel A. Cartwright hypothesized as the cause of enslaved Africans fleeing captivity. Contemporarily reprinted in the South, Cartwright’s article was widely mocked and satirized in the northern United States.

  69. I had my first contact with your work about 2 years ago and since then I have been studying it systematically, what has been very good for me.
    The observations that you have been made about inter-gender relationship dynamics over all these years make perfect sense to me and I have been, also, connecting some dots and making some observations.
    One of these my observations has to do with some Brazilian youtubers who do not understand (or do not want to understand) the Red Pill as a praxeology. So, they end up mixing it with self-help messages (Tony Robbins and others) as well as adulterated ideas about Game.
    Therefore, there is a huge need for a Portuguese version of The Rational Male (also other languages). It would give us an excellent criteria to judge and separate the chaff from the wheat. We really need of somebody like you that stick with the Red Pill fundamentals, but if we can not have it then The Rational Male will do it.
    Furthermore, l really think that there is a great similarity between Portuguese and Spanish, thus being more ease going to one translation to another beneficing in that way all south America countries in that regard.

  70. Rollo, I was watching to a red pill you tube video today and it brought into focus the profound effect your book has had on me. A year and a half ago I went looking for reasons as to the issues I was having with a 34 year marriage, bought your book (Audible) and thought you had written about me. As I listened I acknowledged mentally “that what I did wrong and that what the outcome was”. This was a bitter pill to swallow, and I’m not sure I have fully taken it yet. However it did explain how I got into the position I was in, and has helped me pull my life back together. What I’m saying is thank you, you profoundly change me life for the better.

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