For the past three years of The Rational Male there’s been a consistent presence in the comment threads of guys seeking advice for particular situations with regards to Game. Whether it’s fine tuning certain aspects of Game or a larger consensus of the guys participating in my comment threads it’s become obvious there’s a need for a dedicated page and comment thread to address these Field Reports.
So I’m instituting this page for exactly this. If there is some urgency to have members of The Rational Male community analyze your particular situation feel free to hit anyone up in the comments of my current post, but please refer them to your particular field report with a link to your comment here. I’m hoping this will alleviate the mass of posts for field report analysis and Game specific insights piled into the main blog post for any given week.
There will be some rules for this “forum” as such. I ask that you only keep your comments to addressing the field reports at hand and save your larger theoretical stuff for the main posts, or if relevant, keep the “bigger scope of things” posts to being as succinct as possible. There will be no moderation in this comment thread (spamming excepted), so realize it will be a very hot kitchen before you post. I will impose no restrictions on video links here, nor will I limit links to various, but pertinent articles.
Understand, this is an experiment for now. It’s likely this comment thread will exceed thousands of comments. I’ll be instituting new comment plug-ins for wordpress to deal with this in the future, but I may archive this page the the posts and refresh this page in the future as well. If this gets cumbersome I may simply institute a dedicated forum-style sub-site of The Rational Male to accommodate for Game specific questions.
So have at it, post your field reports and feel free to comment on the ones you have some particular insight for. Be forewarned that it’s likely things may get a bit salty at times and I expect a lot of back & forth with debate and disagreements, but that’s what this thread is for – to hash out Game particulars for your given situations.
“It’s simpler to deal with one after you’ve dealt with a dozen.”
Lol. Don’t forget my tongue in cheek recommendation, that any guy should spend nine months in an exclusive relationship with a BPD chick. Bonus points for another chick that goes schizophrenic while you are with her. ( I have to say “tongue in cheek” to not offend those that have been screwed over by a BPD, chick. I actually believe it will make any man more antifragile if he doesn’t die trying it out.)
@Blaximus
Oh I’m pretty sure she did.
I still think making her chase more would have had higher chances of pulling her… on his terms, too.
The moment of them hopelessly falling into my frame is what I enjoy most. Sex afterwards is just… sex…
Giving them an equivalent of blue balls is funny too… lol
Lol, everyone is being raised to disrespect men. That’s why I have a killer left hook and a devastating over hand right. Frame works with both men and women. In one of my social circles, a man is saying shit about me offline. The best way to deal with that is to DHV in front of the group and ignore his negative comments. At the last group meeting, I commented about one of my experiences at my bar which involved sexual convo; one guy didn’t like my comment. He said shit about me with body language when he thought I… Read more »
“Bonus points for another chick that goes schizophrenic while you are with her.”
https://goo.gl/images/u8m2rq
Crazy woman who approached me, wife in bar this w/e had same smile, eyes. Danger.
Besides learning red pill and pua, and acquiring and internalizing game concepts, I think the average guy shouldn’t even consider and ltr in any capacity until he has a double digit n count at minimum. It’s simpler to deal with one after you’ve dealt with a dozen. Not arguing that your method doesn’t work, but there are other options. I’ve had my double digits in over a dozen deliciously dirty gashes. Only banged one before marriage tho. Didn’t want to do most of the rest. One was nekkid in my bed and wanted me to promise marriage, but I wouldn’t… Read more »
Lol @ ” feel cunts “. For some reason that cracks me up.
FR Decided that I wanted to have sex with the girl I was introduced to through friends so I did. Before this decision I spent too much time thinking about the consequences and how I would deal with it. Decided to act and learn by doing (s/o to @IRL above). She’s a decade younger than the girl I was just in an LTR with and so much easier to be with. No frame battles. Just a little bit of LMR 🙂 As I continue going out I’m realizing more and more that the only person holding me back is myself… Read more »
@boulderhead
“It is as if boys have been raised to disrespect men from the get go.”
It’s not kid’s fault their fathers are such pussies.
@Yollo Comanche
“It’s not kid’s fault their fathers are such pussies.”
That’s kinda funny, the kid still has an ass beating coming for his disrespect and will usually get it in one form or another.
Sentient – noted. Blitz continues. Great two hour video by Todd below: The Art of Game Manifesto (Blax, look away now – it’s all detailed Game stuff). I’m only half way through it but it’s a very recent talk he gave going through all the styles and main schools of pickup from the 1980s (some pickup article he found in his dad’s stash of Playboys) right up to the present day. It reminds me a bit of the old Mystery videos Sentient often posts – this is a guy who is clearly passionate about the subject, knows a lot about… Read more »
“…it’s all detailed Game stuff ”
Says you.
( I’m joking Culum , I couldn’t resist. )
“It is as if boys have been raised to disrespect men from the get go.”
It’s not kid’s fault their fathers are such pussies.
Frivorced men who get maybe at most 16 hours per month with their sons aren’t in the best position to teach respect. Boys of babymommas are in even worse shape.
Yeah. Some boys have been “raised” by divorced or other single women who badmouth men all the time. Those young men will be very conflicted. Don’t piss all over them, help them out.
@ Culum
I don’t have 2 hours to devote to Todd, but I am going to watch most of the video because Todd isn’t as annoying on his own. He sounds more like a serious adult.
1:05:XX
” out of your league ”
Ruh-Roh.
I seem to be on a Theory Of Game tear today (maybe I’ll make it a regular Monday feature lol). But I actually wanted to post about one of the most interesting Game concepts and thinkers I’ve read about recently. I’ve spent hours in the last couple of days reading everything he wrote (frustratingly little, especially after he deleted so much of his own writings) but the level of insight from a self-taught empirical perspective is amazing, yet completely in line with Game and RP principles. The last time I read something that struck me so strongly with “Yes, yes,… Read more »
Okay guys, as noted, here are some of the key Reddit posts from IOIATF:
The Basic Strategy (written in a poetic style but gives you an idea):
https://www.reddit.com/r/FeelingsBeforeLogic/comments/2np38h/archive_basic_strategy_to_produce_emotion_in/
Basic principles, tactics and examples:
https://www.reddit.com/r/FeelingsBeforeLogic/comments/2nv991/the_basics/
More details on the thinking behind his system:
https://www.reddit.com/r/PracticalSexAndLove/comments/2gzhha/why_men_fail_despite_doing_everything_right/
Someone giving examples of his anecdotes and comments on emotional impact of the stories and analysis:
https://www.reddit.com/r/PracticalSexAndLove/comments/2hprh8/field_experiment_1/
LOL@ Blax.
See that’s what I like about you dude. Even if you don’t agree with something etc, you’ll still make the effort to at least check it out and give it a fair chance to prove you wrong.
Holy Shit thanks Culum.
Thanks Yollo.
I also realized – I wish I could edit my main post, but I wanted to add that he also recommends no kino. Same reason as above – you don’t want to show desire, but also because it can increase LMR later (the more initiative she takes, the less likely LMR is).
Hello guys, a ultra newbie FR here. Something happened today, I was in the mall buying some clothes minding my business and right after I finished a girl from a nearby stand that sells health products for the feet approached me telling that she can check the health of my feet on a machine on the stand for free, I usually dismiss sales people fast but this time I complied and went to the machine to do the test. I was nervous, not by the girl but by the fact that now she will attempt to sell me crap that… Read more »
I watched that Todd vid a few days back about game styles etc. He actually just confirmed everything I already thought lol (although westIndianArchie had already done that for me in one of his posts where he said that RSD isn’t the same as MM, so I didn’t really need to hear it and am kind of bored of that particular discussion now as it’s been obvious to me since day 1 that you can follow certain RSD instructors game to a ‘t’, but you’d be doing it wrong in terms of most of mm’s rules, but not everyone agrees,… Read more »
@Culum: do you intend to try this short set, all emotions, no kino strategy? On one hand I think you would definitely open a lot of girls (short set) and maybe it could reduce your approach anxiety. On the other hand, I’m not sure it captures all of it. I think I recall YaReally writing he didn’t kino much until he was in the seduction phase – for the same reasons (lowers LMR etc). @digireaper: hard to say, but also not very relevant. The boss coming in and playing along makes me more suspicious it was just a sales tactic.… Read more »
@culumn
thats a dude after my own heart =) I shed half a tear reading that beautiful post….. might write something up later or the story I’ve meaning to write for 2 weeks
@Culum Goals: Stay out till late every night. Do lots of approaches i thought the goal for THIS blitz was p in v asap…lol… meet an ‘acceptable’ girl and push to close… even if it only takes 20 minutes all in… OR short set method (30 opens/night min). you were going to go for 400+ ‘cold approaches/opens’ doing daygame… to get over AA… sooo… how’s that FI treating you?…lol can’t have BOTH of those ‘exercises’ in play at the same time… bc they are mutually exclusive… Then a while later, she catches my eye again and we start chatting (I… Read more »
@culumn “understand it he believed pretty much any positive action by the male (other than the giving of emotion) was unnecessary and more likely to basically give her validation and reduce her desire to validate herself by fucking you. Of course the *words* and stories are very finely calibrated and chosen to pump her full of emotion, but according to him the actual delivery can be (and ideally should be for beginners) very straight, not much emotion, just matter of fact. ” So much this tho Pretty much I just sit down next to a girl and run through shit… Read more »
Saw new video by MaxRSD earlier where he pulls a hot young Russian girl in the street with just google translate as she speaks no English. Thing is, I just can’t imagine what he does in that vid working for a guy who isn’t handsome like he is – kind of like what RSDtodd was referring too about ‘real game’ vs ‘numbers game using looks/status etc.
@HABD: as I’m confident I will run into the “you’re married” thing with more girls, that reminder to “Flip the Script” is helpful.
@IAS: The phone thing was the most confusing. Had she handed me a business card, It would have been no doubts in my mind that they were playing a sales tactic. There are other things that I remember now like right after I finished buying the stuff, the boss told me if I was going to give any tip for the girl, she made me a puppy face and said “yes, a tip will be great for a drink”, I refused to give any tip, I was very annoyed. Maybe I’m blowing this shit out of proportion. Anyways, I will… Read more »
@digireaper
To quote Sentient, “What do you want?”
Specifically, what do you want from this girl?
@culumn
oh shit…. I owe you a brojob for this bro…. He expands on something that I always mess up on
@digireaper Hey good on coming back, good to see you again. As for the girl, she’s just using girl game. First tell is how focused she was on selling the product. If you get a girl really into you, she’ll forget about what her “normal job” or “normal goals” are for that day. Here though, she keeps to her purpose — getting you to spend $$. The personal questions are just enough to get you invested in her, to get you to think she likes you, so you’ll buy her products. Selling in a mall is HARD AS FUCK, most… Read more »
@digireaper: a walk in the park would be pretty boring for me, but it is not a bad example, there may be some isolation for a kiss etc.
@digireaper – I only have a handful of ‘rules’ to live by…. one of them is that if someone’s job includes being nice to you, then assume they don’t mean it, you’ll be right more often than wrong; recently had a very brutal reminder when (to this day lol) I believed some waitress was flirting with me so I asked her out…. didn’t end well with my presumption of attraction I’ve also had the mall girls be all extra friendly but I didn’t fall for it then…. just too obvious; the good ones will have you thinking you have a… Read more »
@HABD – damn you for being right on all points! I don’t understand what does the FI have to do with me not remembering who initiated conversation with the girl? She definitely made EC with me but it had been a long day and I was tired (but sober) and I can’t remember who started speaking first? I see the contradiction between going for the lay and going for the super-opens but honestly I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve had to take a couple days off going out for various family reasons but when I’m out tomorrow… Read more »
@zipper recently had a very brutal reminder when (to this day lol) I believed some waitress was flirting with me so I asked her out Props on busting a move. If you are going to game a waitress, ask her to do lots of extra waitress stuff for you (e.g., special food prep, get hot sauce, water, extra napkin, extra knife because you dropped yours on the floor, etc….creates extra compliance) and sexualize with a look at her legs and calibrate her response. But don’t ask her out…instead, ask her when she gets off work, then plant an instadate seed…something… Read more »
@Culum Struan I don’t understand what does the FI have to do with me not remembering who initiated conversation with the girl? She definitely made EC with me but it had been a long day and I was tired (but sober) and I can’t remember who started speaking first? The female imperative only empowers the female to be the mate selector. Were you facilitating the conversation with her because you wanted to our was the FI influencing you to just “go with it” as you had already been chosen and could be opportunistic? What did you want? If you don’t… Read more »
@Culum
“When I get a strong invite like with Saturday’s Asian girl I will escalate with that.”
FIFY
“you have to be open to pulling when the window presents itself and not when you are done with your 30th set for the night and have checked that box mentally.”
+1
http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-42322746
re: facebook
“the social network provided ‘a dopamine hit and a social validation feedback loop, that exploited a vulnerability in human psychology'”
“We curate our lives around this perceived sense of perfection, because we get rewarded in these short term signals: Hearts, likes, thumbs up”
“We conflate that with value and we conflate it with truth, and instead what it really is is fake, brittle popularity that’s short term and leaves you even more vacant and empty before you did it.
good stuff, straight from the horse’s mouth
@dr zipper
I don’t participate in any social media at all and this is all no shock aside from former contributors and top executives bringing forth the brutal truth.
It’s interesting to think about how chemically and substance driven humans are. Most are addicted to dopamine, oxytocin, testosterone, amongst others that our body produce and never truly understand this.
@mersonia – np. He’s fascinating isn’t he? Anything you can write up on how you apply/extend the same principles would be great. It’s so frustrating that he left without giving more details or more of his own FRs. @Catchers and @j – yup, you’re right. I’m going to do Short Set but I will pounce if an opportunity presents itself. Tomorrow I’m going to some Meetup.com event – they are usually singles events in all but name, followed by a kiddy club. Most probably my usual Latin dance club Thursday, going to try a high-end place on Friday with my… Read more »
Oh and @IAS – yes, YaReally said similar things about kino. Think he used to do “standard” kino till he figured out the power of lasering and sexualization and figured it was unnecessary (note that IOIATF suggests beginners not sexualize probably for the reasons HABD said and he doesn’t mention laser so we don’t know if he did it). YaReally I think briefly mentioned the LMR thing but a big factor him was also that if you didn’t get handsy then her friends had much less of an excuse to come and “rescue” her from a guy – you had… Read more »
@Culum have you thought about letting the vibe of the social gathering or venue dictate your approach as opposed to being set on a certain method? I find that when I let go and allow myself to be outcome dependent I tend to have the most success. Within the interactions that I’m generating I’m evaluating what the interaction needs based upon what I want. “Horses for courses” – use the approach that you have eval’d to give you the best shot at getting what you want. I’m going to continue to use this approach as I continue to go out… Read more »
@Catchers “I find that when I let go and allow myself to be outcome [in]dependent I tend to have the most success” Short set method accomplishes that. Talking to lots of people with nothing to lose/gain (don’t feel bad if you get rejected cause you weren’t really trying to fuck her, you’re just being social/self amusing -> this leads to less outcome dependent subcommunications -> fuels social momentum -> which gets you into the zone then you go after girls you actually want to fuck or maybe go back to one of the girls you originally chatted up when you… Read more »
@Culum I don’t understand what does the FI have to do with me not remembering who initiated conversation with the girl? She definitely made EC with me but it had been a long day and I was tired (but sober) and I can’t remember who started speaking first? from CatchersIndifference: The female imperative only empowers the female to be the mate selector. Were you facilitating the conversation with her because you wanted to our was the FI influencing you to just “go with it” as you had already been chosen and could be opportunistic? What did you want? If you… Read more »
@CatchersIndifference on your FR at 10:13am… props on going out and getting better… also, great self-analysis… having you gotten to the point of feeling the FI pushing on you in real time in situ?… i’m kind of confused on the dynamics in play… such as are there only three girls?… or more?… B (who you are not pursuing?…) introduced you to the girl you banged ‘C’… AND B also introduced you to A?… who you ARE pursuing?… and the female friend that shows up at 1:30a was the girl you already banged?… lol… you must be doing alright, bc it… Read more »
@Rollo: I have a request. The “Field Reports” button currently links to https://therationalmale.com/field-reports/ Can you please have the “Field Reports” button link instead to https://therationalmale.com/field-reports/comment-page-2/#comments or even better, automatically link to the latest page of comments (not sure if that is possible)? Currently it is https://therationalmale.com/field-reports/comment-page-64/#comments but eventually it would go to https://therationalmale.com/field-reports/comment-page-65/#comments and so on and obviously you don’t want to update that manually each time. If the latest page isn’t possible automatically, linking to the 2nd (as above) or any other fixed page other than the first would be a real time saver for me and others, as… Read more »
@IAS @Rollo
+1
Some follow up comments on the last FR. IAS – Are we just not spiking enough arousal? Partly this, partly ASD, partly not leading. Partly because you can blast through ASD with massive attraction. [ https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/12/29/are-badboys-the-answer-to-white-pathological-humanitarianism/#comment-639110 ] You have to figure out where she is. Here I would say ASD. In this whole interaction I was consciously playing with a few thoughts. First, I wasn’t in “meat hunter” mode to start off, I was jess playin’, having a lot of colleagues around me the few days… but that slope is slippery. Second, I was playing with Thin Man’s two concepts… Read more »
@Sentient: I’ve seen the emotional disrobing reference before, probably you mentioned it. I get the concept. The woman in your FR was particularly resistant to “enable” the cheating given her particular background with her ex (also she was probably alpha widowed, although you were alpha enough there). E-mail saga dominant streak of the 3 archetypes I would bet is also PPP. In her case the particular resistance to “enable” the cheating is that she is coming from a fairly conservative background (no divorces in close family etc.). And ASD. She asked me (in the aftermath of the 1st time I… Read more »
IAS You bring up a key part, about PPP that I wanted to mention. So as I said I was playing with the Submission aspect, and I wanted to just use that to pull her. However the key to PPP is The PPP is most attracted to highly self-developed men, because she literally wants to lose herself in your world. It didn’t click for me until after, she was bringing up the “you’re married” not just because of the enabling cheating angle (which was more ASD than anything else) but because she was trying to figure out her place in… Read more »
IAS Thin Man’s Over 33 technique https://nextasf.com/forum/nextasf/general/13706-the-over-33-technique-thread?p=202087#post202087 6. The emotional connection: If you pass the shit test this is where she opens emotionally, because you have shown you can handle her emotions. This is it the secret sauce of middle age seduction… In Tech’s filed report he saw her sadness… She let him see it, she almost cried… If a woman cries about her inner pain in your presence it is a vast act of trust. Older woman have scar tissue its what makes them sexy. The African American Poet Carl Winslow wrote a poem I love about psychological scars… Read more »
The Carl Winslow “poem” I Can Tell Where Your Scars Are I can tell where your scars are just by the way you walk And every assault you have endured has ensured your every step And you are blessed regardless of the animals that have attacked you And you are pure regardless of who has abused you I know an angel when I see one And when our kingdom come it will be you, I and the sun And we will be one We will create children and our children will create us Then every night by the light of… Read more »
@Sentient: LOL so much at “and I have two boyfriends”.
I did figure that part of why e-mail saga is resisting because I’m married is that she can’t see the relationship… She wants a boyfriend, not a lover that is married, consciously… And I’m not skilled enough yet to bypass that with this girl.
I’m so tempted to invite her to my place.
Why not just invite her away for a night? Or get a cool airbnb place in your town and hang out there?
Why your place? You just need some space.
There is a great scene in the beginning of 9 1/2 weeks where Rourke takes Basinger to an empty house, opens a cupboard and takes out a new set of sheets and puts them on the bed.
Anyone find that one?
@Sentient: it is tempting because I’m pretty sure she would accept, it is easy to seed the idea (e.g. cooking something). If I try to go up to her hotel room (or such) it is much more likely to trigger her strong ASD.
I’ll just try to make it to her hotel room, which is the same conclusion I reached last time. For sure the location will be more convenient as I live on the outskirts of my city.
Dudebro
Get an airbnb house, apt. Cottage etc. You can cook, chill, put a movie on, music w/e. etc. Cheap too and no stigma of hotel. But mysterious. Get one with good logistics to drinks and food.
IAS
https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/534069
example, cool place, close to all. “hey I have a friends place at xyz”…
No more than a hotel.
sexy
Blackdragon is a refreshing read. An adult man, keeping things real. Not a gamma. 5. They’re still super hot, as long as they don’t get chubby. I am not in the camp that thinks women over 30 are less attractive than women under 30. I’ve never felt that way, even when I was in my 20s. As long as they don’t get chubby, which I realize is a big “if” in North America, women in their 30s are still smoking hot. Many women in their 40s are also very attractive. Now, we’re actually getting to the point where even some… Read more »
Friday night baby
https://twitter.com/thecadclub/status/941777444184477697
An FR, for some feedback. My wife has been learning to drive; I exploded in anger at her a couple days ago, when she ignored an instruction I’ve insisted on many times in the past that she’s been resisting doing (getting up to speed merging on fwy)- and this time it could have caused a serious accident. Furiously telling her she needs to ducking do EXACTLY what I tell her to do, when I tell her to do it. Exploding in anger and shouting is a weakness of mine sometimes, and I’ve really been trying to work on that, and… Read more »
Mitch – I’m not married, but have you read Athol Kay’s original MMSL Primer book from 2011? It gets recommended often around here and the married guys here seem to endorse it as a decent introduction on how to be red pill in your marriage, before Athol Kay went purple pill and watered down the message to appeal to his feminine audience etc. PS – I don’t think there’s anything wrong in sometimes getting angry with your wife. But *losing control*, especially if it happens often enough that you come across as unstable/not in control of yourself to her, seems… Read more »
Mitch
So you are training her that you are emotionally weak and can be led by sex?
Curious approach.
Culum, thAnks yes I read mmsl about a year ago, maybe I should pick it up again. She doesn’t think I’m unstable, but I do have a mercurial personality, and the up side is that I’m a fireball I bed, and she.likes that very much. I don’t blow my top often, but I need to get better at not doing it at all. Sentient, Was i being led by sex? I rather thought I was leading the sex. I was initiating affection, then pulling away, then later initiating again and stopping, and plan to initiate again later. Why do you… Read more »
@Mitch: you need to be in control of yourself (which you aren’t, self-admittedly), otherwise, at least to some extent, she is in control. Imagine she wants to split (now that she has the green card) and get your assets. She does something she knows annoys you a lot (and believe me, she knows), you blow up – she calls the cops on you, you’re done. Also note that even without her doing anything re: the green card, you are already in anxiety/fear about the shit tests. Actually you were already tested and failed, just not sure you noticed it. Sentient… Read more »
@Mitch “My wife has been learning to drive; I exploded in anger at her a couple days ago, when she ignored an instruction I’ve insisted on many times in the past that she’s been resisting doing (getting up to speed merging on fwy)- and this time it could have caused a serious accident. Furiously telling her she needs to ducking do EXACTLY what I tell her to do, when I tell her to do it.” I am the driver trainer for the family. It can be hair raising at times. Make your peace with your higher power, fasten your seatbelt,… Read more »
Mitch
If she respected your sulking pouting act this:
“I was initiating affection”
Would have been her. And she would apologize.
Here you have a tantrum, she stays mad at you and eventually you come around to her and show her that a little sexy behavior from her makes you all right.
She is a kid who misbehaves and just by being cute gets a cookie. So she learns manipulation.
Also go back and DirkaDirka’s comments to you on the Purple Pill thread. He is spot on.
“mercurial personality” is merely hamster rationalization for lacking self control in your case
PS – I don’t think there’s anything wrong in sometimes getting angry with your wife. But *losing control*, especially if it happens often enough that you come across as unstable/not in control of yourself to her, seems to me to be a bad idea all round. Exactly. It’s funny to hear a woman complain about male anger. Whenever that is thrown at me I reply very clearly that I have every right to be angry and its tough shit if you don’t like it. Very true about getting angry too often, its unattractive and tells her hind brain she can’t… Read more »
@Roused From R.B. Sparkman’s art of manipulation. “When you try to reduce the ingratitude you get, bear in mind this rule of thumb: “Nearly everyone is pleased to acknowledge a small debt. Many are grateful in acknowledging a moderate one. But there is hardly a man who does not, for a really great indebtedness, return ingratitude.” (La Rochefoucauld, French philosopher) Intermittent reinforcement stops ingratitude because it keeps a person from taking· your openhandedness for granted. Generally, if you’ve got ingratitude trouble, your problem started when that person began to take your generosity for granted. But using intermittent reinforcement will stop… Read more »
Mitch
This comment of Dirka
https://therationalmale.com/2017/08/28/mitchs-red-pill/comment-page-3/#comment-212814
Thank guys for the feedback, I really appreciate it. @Mitch: you need to be in control of yourself (which you aren’t, self-admittedly), otherwise, at least to some extent, she is in control. That’s true – she is in control in those moments. Here you have a tantrum, she stays mad at you and eventually you come around to her and show her that a little sexy behavior from her makes you all right. I maybe didn’t give enough details, but that’s not quite what happens. There’s a typical dynamic that happens when we get into an argument or fight. I… Read more »
“Two things I want to have happen: 1) Spark desire consciously in her, before initiating sex. 2) Better manage the dynamic when conflict happens.”
You don’t want much, do you?
Up the alpha,DPA , aloof , posture , peacock , aproach , spike emotions and act as if you can take her for granted.
Never under any circumstances argue with a woman.
Never under any circumstances argue with a woman.= Be Sofa King right there can be no discussion.
Sentient and Palma, you guys and Dirka could *not* be more wrong.
My goal here is to enhance and strengthen an already very good relationship, and so I really do appreciate the feedback.
@ Mitch
Be very careful trying to enhance and strengthen an ” already very good ” relationship. I detonated a perfectly good marriage doing some shit like that, so I get totally what your intentions are. Caution.
Enhance via Red Pill. Don’t be more like her no matter what. If anything, increase your masculinity quotient, or if things are where you like them right now, just Hold.
Mitch, women are capable of great self-deception…you will think you have a “very good relationship” and the woman will verbalize the same thing, but her heart won’t be in it. At the very least, her shit tests will worsen over time.
You really, really, really need to prioritize fixing yourself, especially your lack of self-control. That’s childish and weak.
“Never under any circumstances argue with a woman.”
Well stated.
https://illimitablemen.com/2014/03/09/how-women-argue/
Palma, if one deceives oneself, it makes deceiving others easier because you don’t give off tells.
@SJF
I ask how her day went, she always complains about this 22yo feminist cocktail. Yesterday this gal was carrying on about sexual harrasment while the wife was filling her fruit tray, Mrs. head told her to hold that thought I have a slice of lime trying to self identify as a cherry. The cocktail then starts in on her for making fun of those people. Mrs. says it’s a piece of fruit.
She cracks me up
Palma, as you were.
Blax, Enhance via Red Pill. Don’t be more like her no matter what. If anything, increase your masculinity quotient, or if things are where you like them right now, just Hold. That’s exactly what I’m trying to work on. Thanks. How did you detonate a perfectly good marriage? If you don’t mind saying…. SJF – I saw that article the other day about how women argue – spot on. With previous LTRs I had not found arguing to be as *completely* pointless and unproductive as it is with this one, and I’ve learned that lesson well at this point. lol… Read more »
Palma,
A lot of men in here have devoted a lot of bandwidth to trying to help you but you’re not getting the memo
No offense, bro, but you should keep polishing your crystal ball – it might be right one of these days. No need to keep wasting bandwidth trying to help me. Appreciate the intention tho.
Didn’t Sentient have a wager proposed for Mitch and his Ukranicorn? What is the wager up to now?
I might have missed it in previous comments Mitch. Did your wife get her green card or whatever card it was you were helping her with?
Roused, yeh she got her green card just last week.
@Mitch, I wish you the best, but that last FR doesn’t sound good to me. So, now your girl has her green card. You’ve told her how to merge “many” times before, yet she “resisted” doing so this time, to the point that serious bodily harm could have come to you. Prepare yourself to have many more instances of her doing stuff that gets you pissed. Prepare yourself for her to present each of these upcoming instances of you losing your cool to her lawyers. With your temper and your latest FR, you are neither in control of your emotions… Read more »
@Mitch, Expect more shit tests from her. She will test you for a variety of reasons, its normal for this to happen. To get more from you, either material or otherwise. Her hind brain will test you for alpha. Best to work on your emotions and keep them to yourself. Let her shit tests roll off of you. When you get better at them you can have fun and use them to your advantage. As others have said, don’t play with dynamite. Go slow and master the basics. I ought to know, blew up many a truckload of dynamite since… Read more »
Hmmm.
Green card — check.
DL — soon to be checked.
Latest FR — she seems to be in control emotionally, you don’t. She now knows hot go get you angry, which is an extremely useful skill for a woman in America given the law.
This isn’t going well at all. It would be best to look at some of the responses here for help and take them to heart rather than resisting them.
10,9,8,7,6……..
“take them to heart rather than resisting them.”
Wishful thinking. Have him sign a liability waiver.
@ Roused
“…trade my time and efforts for sex. It would have signaled that negotiating sex is acceptable.”
Cosign. Even minimal give take in a relationship subtly kills desire. It must be countered elsewhere with legit desire tactics.
Ok guys, I’ll go ahead and take your bait. Here is the response you are hoping for: (lol) To my most tenacious naysayers: Serious question: how long of the relationship staying together and me self-reporting that it’s going well would it take for you guys to concede that you are wrong? 10 years? 20? I’m curious about that because I have the impression that none of you give a shit about helping me, despite all the bandwidth that has been consumed with that. You are *much* more interested in my relationship failing, so that your version of things is correct.… Read more »
Roused,
Best to work on your emotions and keep them to yourself. Let her shit tests roll off of you. When you get better at them you can have fun and use them to your advantage. As others have said, don’t play with dynamite. Go slow and master the basics. I ought to know, blew up many a truckload of dynamite since swallowing TRP.
great advice, thanks.
@Mitch: Ok guys, I’ll go ahead and take your bait. Here is the response you are hoping for: (lol) “““““ It’s not bait. It’s feedback – some you don’t like. ““““““ To my most tenacious naysayers: ““““` If your frame is so strong, why even bother with a letter to them? ““““` Serious question: how long of the relationship staying together and me self-reporting that it’s going well would it take for you guys to concede that you are wrong? 10 years? 20? ““““““““ How long did it take for you to lose your cool at tenacious naysayers, two days,… Read more »
@newlyaloof
“employ fear and dread as the primary tools to manage your women.”
He sure misses the point of women’s nature, repeatedly. Wow.
Alpha men in solid marriages don’t employ dread. No need. Those women self dread, stay in their lane.
Newly, Thanks, I have been listening to feedback, all along. Lol. Bi-polar! You guys are reeeally good! Wow. No wonder I have *zero* faith in many of your analyses. Omniscient indeed. Look, this is not about me, not really. Part of your goals ( as a group) are to help guys unplug. Some of you are really, really bad at doing that. Some techniques will work on some guys, that won’t work on others. Not all guys are the same. Doh! If a guys says, thanks for the feedback, but I am NOT going to hire a divorce lawyer, and… Read more »
Alpha men in solid marriages don’t employ dread. No need.
I don’t think that you understand Dread. Alpha men always create Dread in their women because of Preselection. Alphas are inherently attractive to women and their women know that. Alphas may not consciously create it, but they always create Dread just by being around women.
Looking at Dread from another perspective, if a man isn’t creating Dread in his woman, she won’t find him attractive because she knows that alphas create Dread because of Preselection.