For the past three years of The Rational Male there’s been a consistent presence in the comment threads of guys seeking advice for particular situations with regards to Game. Whether it’s fine tuning certain aspects of Game or a larger consensus of the guys participating in my comment threads it’s become obvious there’s a need for a dedicated page and comment thread to address these Field Reports.
So I’m instituting this page for exactly this. If there is some urgency to have members of The Rational Male community analyze your particular situation feel free to hit anyone up in the comments of my current post, but please refer them to your particular field report with a link to your comment here. I’m hoping this will alleviate the mass of posts for field report analysis and Game specific insights piled into the main blog post for any given week.
There will be some rules for this “forum” as such. I ask that you only keep your comments to addressing the field reports at hand and save your larger theoretical stuff for the main posts, or if relevant, keep the “bigger scope of things” posts to being as succinct as possible. There will be no moderation in this comment thread (spamming excepted), so realize it will be a very hot kitchen before you post. I will impose no restrictions on video links here, nor will I limit links to various, but pertinent articles.
Understand, this is an experiment for now. It’s likely this comment thread will exceed thousands of comments. I’ll be instituting new comment plug-ins for wordpress to deal with this in the future, but I may archive this page the the posts and refresh this page in the future as well. If this gets cumbersome I may simply institute a dedicated forum-style sub-site of The Rational Male to accommodate for Game specific questions.
So have at it, post your field reports and feel free to comment on the ones you have some particular insight for. Be forewarned that it’s likely things may get a bit salty at times and I expect a lot of back & forth with debate and disagreements, but that’s what this thread is for – to hash out Game particulars for your given situations.
Catchers
“If you asked her about the same day she would tell you she “felt compelled” to go to the pool that day and that we just met by chance and had a nice conversation. “It just happened”.”
It’s not just girls. Naturals operate the same way. The natural part of you has just been shorted out. You are rewiring now, following a diagram.
In time you will become natural again because… It’s in your nature.
Her nature is her nature (awalt etc.) See it as a feature not a bug. Cats are never going to become dogs.
@Blaximus So for example, I roll up to meet her for dinner with my mind made up of going to x place based upon research, knowing our tastes, etc. She balks at my decision and throws some alternatives out there. What’s the play here? Do I need to adjust my approach and always frame it as – “Hey, I’m eating here if you want to join me.” In her mind, she doesn’t like the restaurant that I suggested and is working to compromise. So to her, she is being reasonable. If I hold fast with my plans she’ll see me… Read more »
Catchers
“What’s the play here?”
More attraction. If she was more attracted she would go along most of the time. Especially a few months in!
That’s why I asked if she swallowed etc.
Face it Catchers she thinks she is settling for you. That is the root cause of this. Classic Wall response… You are not Mr. Right, you are Mr. RightNow.
It’s cool man you are still very very new to Game and relationships. Start spinning up the next one. You can’t solve this without a lot more attraction and that juice isn’t worth the squeeze.
J
Seen The Philadelphia Story yet?
Ripped from the headlines… “Uncle Willie’s a… pincher.”
Heh
“If I hold fast with my plans she’ll see me as uncompromising and unreasonable.’”
My wife said last week that I’ve “trained her” to do things my way. Saying “I know getting angry wont work and crying wont work” wrt me doing things another way but my way. She was quite happily relaying this btw.
@kfg @Sentient
thanks for the recommendations guys
@Catchers “One of the hardest things for me to reconcile is that as far as I can tell the vast majority of the red pill teachings are entirely subconscious for women.” One way to boil things down, something I don’t usually advocate, is that women are always looking out for #1. You never hear about some random teenage girl sacrificing her life to save 3 boys from an oncoming car. It just doesn’t happen. They look out for themselves, in some respect. At the same time, many make decisions on how they feel in the moment. And when they don’t… Read more »
j – thanks for the link to naval r…. good stuff https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Naval-Ravikant-TKP.pdf “…the number one thing that clouds us from being able to see reality is that we have preconceived notions of the way it should be…” “…when you’re suffering, when you’re in pain, that’s a moment of truth. That is a moment where you’re forced to embrace reality actually the way it is. Then you can make meaningful change and progress.” “To see the truth, you have to get your ego out of the way because your ego doesn’t want to face the truth. The smaller you can make… Read more »
@ catchers Cosign what Sentient said. Especially the ” trained her ” aspect. After 19 going on 20 years with my wife, sometimes I’ll enquire if she’d like to go out to a particular place to eat or whatever, but 90% of the time I make the decision and just say ” let’s go “. it was a process in the beginning, but I had set a mental limit as to how long I was going to wait for her to get with my program and leave whatever former programming she had prior to me behind. I had to be… Read more »
@ Mr. I Tamed the Shrew
My wife said last week that I’ve “trained her” to do things my way.
Thumbs up.
In her mind, she doesn’t like the restaurant that I suggested and is working to compromise. So to her, she is being reasonable. If I hold fast with my plans she’ll see me as uncompromising and unreasonable.’ Catcher — It’s like Sent says … attraction. When you see this kind of “negotiated” relationship based on “compromise”, it means that she sees the whole thing as negotiated, which is the anithesis of seeing the whole thing through the prism of attraction and desire. This is especially the case in the early stages (and 3 months is early if you are thinking… Read more »
westindianarchie
The “solution” to keep her auto-engaged is basically to be more selfish than she is. Spend your half of the rent money on beer and a new video game or something. Lash out emotionally. Basically act like her – and that forces her to become the responsible one, but also forces that attention on you.
Soooo much this. so much. HoF quote…
Platinum Rule ftw – [do whatever You want to do when You want to do it]
@zipper
one of the side benefits to reading is after a good fuck session…you lay in bed with your girl…and just share all your wisdom you’ve picked up from reading interesting topics (especially psychology. girls love psychology). They love to learn new things (and hearing your interesting stories). And it’s so unexpected because one second you’re all mean/tease them mercilessly, act like an idiot around them…then all of a sudden she sees your intellectual side…and it’s like she thought she had you all figured out…then BAM lol
@Sentient How many normal guys/guys learning game want to emulate female behavior on a deeper level? I think ijjjji might be the only guy i’ve ever seen advocate “Big Baby” game. I literally did not understand what he was talking about (he’s so way ahead of guys and also too terse and cryptic) until I saw it. A helpless baby ends up being the center of attention and can literally do no wrong. There are some guys, some cultures, that raise men like this. China is having a big issue with these baby men that expect everything to be taken… Read more »
@WIA
Hector Castillo over at Girls Chase is a proponent of feminine game
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEv1ttilshA&t=155s
“Femininity to attract and cause chase, when her temp is hot, use your masculinity to close and fuck her. “
Archie Iblove ijjjji and yeah he comes from left field but so interesting. As to cultures… In the NE the Italian American culture was very very much like this. There was just an expectation that the man would come first (heh) from when you were little through last rites. Selfishness or MPO? Throw in a side of drama, from you… It is a workable combo. But most workable when there is a steel rod behind it at the end of the day. My dad would throw spectacular fits over shit, break stuff… Storm off. Lol. Friends dad ripped all the… Read more »
Another form was Kevin Kline in I Love You to Death… To his mistress ” you can’t cook for me… You’re not my wife!”
I like when a woman dotes on me. My wife was doing it like crazy over the summer… Had to back her off. Lol.
J
“. They love to learn new things (and hearing your interesting stories).”
DPA for the win… Supra Game state unlocked.
Different times now.
http://www.informationng.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/behind_bars_xsmall-300×219.jpg
A man had better be certain.
Ray Rice game Blax…
He Heee
@ j October 26, 2017 at 3:02 pm You are very interesting in regards to your proclivities. I raised my self with that same proclivity for reading books as Naval Ravikant. It is an odd rare trait. As a by product of that I became an autodidact in a lot of side projects beyond my normal course of study. My normal course of study was reading, writing and arithmetic in grade school (with no art or music). My normal course of study in high school was college prep, with team sports and socializing with girls academies (we went to an… Read more »
Ahhh, this discussion reminds me of how I was breaking my wife’s programming and restructuring the whole blue pill LTR of 10+ years… Trying to shame me for my (new) behavior? Yapping? Threatening with divorce? Pfff… I wouldn’t say a word, I’d just leave for long hours. Or stop the car, calmly tell her to get off, no discussion, and drive away alone. The funniest episode I remember was when she was at her girlfriend’s (likely complaining about the new RP me) and I came over to pick her up. It was quite late and friend’s younger sister opened the… Read more »
@SJF
I sucked at my high level college in getting good grades, but the competitive grading system was so competitive
Domer dude!
If you passed Emil T you were in med school
Just dropping in. A couple nights out recently, but neither night really even worthy of an FR due to both a distinct lack of approaches due to AA/lack of confidence, as well as quick rejections on those very few that I DID make. Been low on confidence recently, which is kind of odd considering i’ve actually gotten laid a few times now from cold approach for like the first time in my life! (prior success was the odd lucky social circle lay, or a girl literally throwing herself at me without me having to do a thing for example) The… Read more »
Good luck scars! We all have nights like that – the important thing is to use the frustration as “emotional fuel” to go out again and make the approaches next time.
Commit to getting in some early approaches – that’s what builds state.
@Culum Struan I am meeting these girls online. So the first time I meet up with them is the first date. I tend to do everything right on the first date and the girls seem really into me and since like you guys say, I haven’t experienced real abundance, I start feeling that I have to capitalize on this attraction I have generated on the first date by scheduling a second date immediately and when that doesn’t happen because of some logistical issues, I end up trying to force it and I feel at that point the dynamic shifts to… Read more »
@Gambler92 – easy. Just sleep with them on the first date and all these problems go away 🙂 Seriously though – I’ve moved mostly to cold approach now but the vast majority of my lays in the last few years came from online. Something like 80%+ of my first dates from online end up in bed with me under 2 hours (the ones who don’t are typically the ones where I didn’t have enough attraction and couldn’t generate it – some people you just don’t get along with. I rarely miss an opening to execute when the attraction is there).… Read more »
@scars Need to remind myself that getting rejected isn’t a big deal You can use a rejection to demonstrate higher value by continuing to approach girls who reject you. Continuing to approach = showing confidence = demonstrating value ..remember to stand tall the whole time and be a little snarky and have fun messing with girls are lucky to get your attention…because they are! @Gambler I end up over pursuing and chasing doing all these accommodating and nice behaviors and putting her on a pedestal due to my fear of loosing a really attractive girl like her. I understand how… Read more »
@Culum Just sleep with them on the first date and all these problems go away I think Ton hacked Culum’s account again. You need to have the logistics planned for a lay (drink near your home, seed the pull early and give her an excuse to come to your place later, Any advice for married guys who are reading? (The wife usually isn’t into threesomes for most married guys.) Maybe figure out some remote farm road or a motel or a buddy’s place…find a bar where security isn’t patrolling the parking lot like they do at my country bar, lol… Read more »
@culum – I’d like some scripts of your dates so that I can read through them before bed each night! lol. I’ve never had a date and just imagine i’d be like this:
@scars So what if you have nothing to say…ask a girl an open ended question about her past…e.g., tell me about your high school experience…friends, clubs, etc….what was your most awesome date and what was your worst date and why…if you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and why…what was your most interesting sexual experience…I’ll start…there was this nanny goat…[she laughs]…tell me all about your favorite artist…comedian…horse… Try to get a picture of whatever a girl (or guy for that matter if you’re looking for friends) is most invested in. That’s a general Game principle… Read more »
@scars
Do you believe that you deserve to be with these more attractive women?
What types of things do you use to sexualize your conversations with girls you are meeting?
Have you tried listening to good music with a driving beat before going out to approach? As someone else said it sounds like you’re having trouble getting in state. You may also consider opening random people throughout your day like cashiers, random people shopping that you bump into, etc.
@Blaximus
I found this quote in a Word doc while reorganizing some folders. You will like it 🙂
“Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are God. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realise that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.”
It comes from the late Christopher Hitchens, apparently.
@j
Thanks a bunch for the Farnam podcast tip. The fact that it provides a transcript is very good for my pronunciation.
@ Oscar Good stuff. For a big chunk of life I’ve owned both cats and dogs. Cats are as described in the quote, and female cats are worse than the Tom cats. I train the females from kittens. It’s like they have ADHD or something, but I’ve been somewhat successful at getting them to do what I tel them to do ( when I tell them, not when they feel like it ). One rule with my cats is that I don’t approach them to give affection, but they are rewarded for showing affection. They catch on. Then I can… Read more »
Whoa, that’s a long brain dump FR. Well, have it like that, you’ll see how a night can go either way. It’s all in the mindset… In a new city on my own and I decide to hit a few places at night. I don’t know the area and just go to the first small bar I find. I get my drink and chat with bartenders (all guys). They recommend a few clubs and a bar area elsewhere, still in a walking distance. There are larger groups of people sitting around joined tables. I open some of them when they… Read more »
IRL
What’s more important? Your self image or the bang?
@IRL Great detailed FR! Going thru it and commenting on it before I read further… The first girl wants part of it and tries to grab my glasses to try them on. Ok, I recognize this now…it’s a move to claim you as property…like the girl putting my hat on her head…just another shit test…which means that you have flipped her sexual switch will the friends cockblock me? Flirt aggressively with the gf’s…something I need to learn to do. Besides, I’m getting preselection. Two thumbs up. The manager gives me more logical info Cockblocking Instead, I turn to the hotties… Read more »
IRL This is an intermediate game problem. The point where you know a lot, and see a lot, but all the inputs overwhelm you and you employ too many strategies, and don’t focus on your strengths. Happens again when you are trying new stuff, different venues, different kids of girls. Just part of the learning curve. Since you roll like i do – always solo and always parachuting into new cities and places with a limited time frame – here are some thoughts. 1. For the playa in a tight window, i.e. I am here for 4 hours… then gone… Read more »
@IRL – I won’t comment on your enjoyable FR because I don’t know shit, but this: ”She tells her friend hey he’s inviting us and will buy us burgers. Now, I’ve had a few fails with too much BB vibe in recent days and I’m oversensitive when I hear anything even remotely hinting provisioning. So when I hear that… I say whoa whoa it’s not a brothel, I’m not paying for you. Lol (now when I write about it)… I can see her face going all serious and her eyes moving from me in other direction somewhere far away” Reminds… Read more »
“Flirt is on her phone trying to get a taxi.”
Maybe she was the transport provider for the group? It could explain why she didn’t think she could get away. This is why Sentient said to seed the idea of bouncing early so that a girl could give you intel about potential problems.
“This is why Sentient said to seed the idea of bouncing early so that a girl could give you intel about potential problems.”
Logistics questions early… per St. Mystery.
Who you here with? How did you get here? How do you know each other? Where do you live? Do you have a roommate?
Logistics questions are straight hindbrain communication, so keep that in mind…
IRL https://nextasf.com/forum/nextasf/hall-of-fame/9000-mystery-method-updated-to-year-2013-all-in-one-attraction-comfort-sex A3 (male to female attraction) During A2 you have raised your value higher than her value (in her eyes). Now the girls wants you (= you are the prize) and you give her the chance to win you over! And we do it step by step (very important!!). Why do we do it step by step if the girl wants us already? Because the more you make her invest into you, the stronger her connection to you will be. Also we are making use of the human psychology: By giving her a chance to improve her own value… Read more »
“some advanced players even skip A3 completely to be faster in bed with the hottie”
Yup
The next phase being comfort…
Worth a post go to link to see charts Comfort (C1, C2, C3) First the most important thing: The game is played in comfort! In other words: Comfort is the most important part of the game! This is the part where you have gathered enough resources (attraction) to build something long lasting (= a true connection). Now some of you may just be out for the quick ONS, and it’s 100% true that you can lay girls without doing comfort (what I mean is doing only very little comfort, just enough to make her feel secure) – I will address… Read more »
Wingman bailed so I’m going solo for the first time in a couple months. And on the biggest night of the year. Kind of nervous. I know the process. I know what to do. Just chill out and execute. Good luck out there men
Well, I found my balls last night after last weekends absolute weak sauce where I basically failed too approach, so i’m pleased about that; I must have approached 15-20 girls last night. However, Unfortunately it was awful and not really worthy of an actual ‘FR’ due to the nature of the night. Basically all insta-blowouts or just girls who wouldn’t really talk back, so I got to practice my ‘million dollar mouthpiece’ but since I never really ‘hooked’ any girls to the point where they were talking back/asking me questions etc, I was never able to escalate etc. Pretty rough… Read more »
The game is won or lost in Comfort. I really didn’t want to write a FR cause there’s a lot of shit I forgot about, so I’ll just keep writing and hopefully details come up as I recall the night. it’s about 1 A.M and the party is now in full swing. I run Short Set method (See I don’t remember what the fuck I said to this girl) just teasing girls + finding out their logistics for the night then bounce to another set. This German girl was with one other girl. Lives by herself. Made her laugh then… Read more »
“Wizard Talk”
Great work @j and @scars. I’m still stuck in the small town but gonna be burning it up with FRs and LRs in Nov and Dec. I came here to post this new Mark Manson article (he has just got married and is giving advice about how all successful relationships are the same) https://qz.com/884448/every-successful-relationship-is-successful-for-the-same-exact-reasons/ This bit stood out to me in contrast to all the stuff I read here: “A couple years ago, I discovered that I was answering the vast majority of these relationship emails with the exact same response. “Take this email you just sent to me, print… Read more »
That’s some amazingly great blue pilled advice above. I tried reading the post, but lost all interest not even halfway through it. He made a few good points, but it’s clear that his head is a bit clouded with lurv. If a man thinks that ” sharing ” and ” talkiy ” about everything is a good wat to go in a relationship, he will be quite possibility setting himself up for divorce, or at least getting cheated on at some point. I did that honest, open, talk about everything shit. Got me a nice divorce. That’s not the basis… Read more »
@Culum and Blaximus I find no major beef with the 13 principles that Mark Manson listed. I do find a beef with the Blue Pilled descriptions of how these principles of Long Term Relationships should be carried out. All of the descriptive elements start with the premise that there were two solid individuals in the relationship that followed those principles. It assumes the man and the women had their shit together enough times to have lasted and lasted well. Q.E.D. The relationship lasted and both were happy in the end. That’s just the Anna Karenina Principle that the title of… Read more »
@Sentient Thanks for the feedback, tips and the MM link. Good reminder. Solid. @theasdgamer What this night showed me… you think you understand a range of Red Pill and PUA concepts… and then, in real time in the field, so much other mental shit determines your actions/subcomms. Rent a room in a different city and see for yourself. You’ll have your logistics question sorted at the same time. Live. Die. Repeat. Lol… @Culum I was guilty of the “let’s talk about it” mistake in my LTR (it brought me to TRM). Don’t do that shit. Blaximus hit the nail on… Read more »
Manson is not one of us, nor was he ever. I’ve been grinding my axe about him since Models.
@WIA – can you elaborate? I know Rollo’s written a fair bit about “Purple Pill” guys like Manson (among others) who drop in some RP thought into their writing and advice but tone it down and take out the less palatable bits to appeal to a more mainstream audience and thus end up diluting the message – is that basically what you think about Manson? That’s exactly why I posted the article – there’s no shortage of BP relationship advice online but I thought it was interesting that someone who made his name as a pickup/dating coach (although I’ve increasingly… Read more »
Prior to him rebranding himself, he was a rich kid from Texas following the mystery model. He then writes his now infamous takedown Models. He has this “epiphany” about not engaging in with chicks that give him grief during the attraction stage. She’s supposed to test your manhood. And she only does it when she’s interested. That’s pickup 101. Blind bilking the blind. The thing that got my nanny goat, was that he discovered this new information while living in South East Asia. So let’s just recap. Rich white kid misunderstands the Mystery Method. Moves to Thailand, and tells American… Read more »
Mark Manson’s models seems to be a bible for lots of pickup guys (particularly on seddit) but I was a bit disappointed with it, personally. I came away from reading it thinking ”but where is the GAME!!?” It seemed to be ”get yourself a good life with a job you like and lots of hobbies. If you see a hot girl, go over and tell her that you find her attractive. If she doesn’t seem interested, move on to the next hot girl as she would be a ‘no girl’ and you can’t get the ‘no girls’ (or at least… Read more »
@Scars,
Check out the “Honest Signalz” YouTube videos on self amusement:
Self Amusement Pickup Guide Pt. 1 and Pt. 2
May help you.
@SJF 3. The most important factor in a relationship is not communication, but respect …of the woman for the man…the man doesn’t need to respect the woman, but he needs to love her and to be loved by her…not in the same way, of course–cats aren’t dogs 4. Talk openly about everything, especially the stuff that hurts lol at the idea of men talking openly about stuff that hurts…what is the purpose…hoping mommy will kiss it and make it better? If he means that a man needs to enforce his boundaries, then I concur. It’s important to listen to girls’… Read more »
@scars
“Bruised ego”
Well… You can’t avoid that. There’s no “no ego was harmed” promise here. On the contrary, it’s guaranteed your ego will feel like this… “maggot!” lol:
https://youtu.be/CRfPNZ0Xghs
If you think you’re stuck in a Groundhog Day and get the same result over and over again, break it down and see if you can figure out why. Post it here too if you want a nudge (there’s no minimum badass alpha success threshold, we can even discuss color of socks to wear to church lol) and you’re likely to get some good feedback.
lol something that I just now remember from my FR and something I like to do in general to test for compliance/A2/qualify girls all in one move is that l remove chicks rubber band (AFTER I’ve reaches the hook point lol) that holds their hair and let it lay flat. I qualify her by rewarding her femininity/say I hate girls that cut their hair and prefer her hair this way (this gets her qualifying to me) and by NOT putting the rubber band back on her hair, despite it being kinda messy, she signals how high her level of A2… Read more »
@WIA – thanks, I didn’t know all that about Manson – it’s very interesting.
He’s the guy who says something like “If a girl doesn’t say “hell, yeah” about me, then she’s a “no” girl” right? That’s what both you and scars are talking about..(I read Models by the way – years ago – similar feeling to what I had about this article – some basic good advice, albeit nothing that’s not fairly obvious – all covered in a massively BP attitude..
If something bothers you in the relationship, you must be willing to say it. Saying it builds trust and trust builds intimacy.
the girl is probably giving you a shit test if something bothers you…she’s deliberately violating your boundaries…smoke the shit test by humorously enforcing your boundaries…that builds value in the girl’s eyes and she knows that you will be the reliable oak in her shit storms
trust & intimacy, lol, that’s the cat talk version of what I wrote…she trusts you because you are the oak, not because you were “open” and “vulnerable”
I intentionally avoid using phrases like ” ‘X’ bothers me..” or that I had bad feelz or that I was upset by something.
Actions, not words.
Wife: You okay honey? Are you upset about something?
Me: Nah. I don’t get upset, I get busy * devious grin included*
Actually, my wife hasn’t asked me any of these kinds of questions. She stopped that after the first year of marriage as she didn’t get the standard, butthurt answers. Lol.
Train them. Don’t become them. You are something different.
Before you go into any sort of relationship management tactics – what the veteran does is ask himself if the relationship is worth it? For man child adolescents – The novelty of sex with HER is gone. Doesn’t matter how fine she is. You still enjoy the act, when you’re doing it. But that urge to smash HER in particular fades. Other guys think she’s the bee’s knees, but to you she’s just Candice Swanepoel. For the enlightened men, that new relationship energy/domestic life bliss is gone. Instead of looking forward to getting home and making dinner – spending an… Read more »
@ASDgamer See, that wasn’t hard translating the blue pill ideology into Red Pill praxeology. Good job of explaining that @ 12:22 “…she trusts you because you are the oak, not because you were “open” and “vulnerable”” Back in the summer a buddy was having compliance issues in relationship game with his girlfriend. I kept telling him she wasn’t trusting him to be Alpha because he would relapse into blue pill thoughts (and have minor doubts and fears). I made him aware of that and kept after him. And he executed that near perfectly and she came around to trust his… Read more »
“…because he would relapse into blue pill thoughts (and have minor doubts and fears).”
Oh, I forgot to add: and he would let his guard down by being open and vulnerable. And at the same time that made her not trust his Alpha oak status. And she would proceed with cat-like prowess to go for his jugular.
The game manuals will forever be silent on this – because you can’t rapidly burn through a 3 year relationship, and learn lessons.
Let’s see that relationship infield from RSD…hehe
@WIA
Your last post harkens back to a post you made on your blog a while back on LTR’s entitled, “What to do when you find the one”. Are you planning on posting a follow up? Care to elaborate further and share your last LTR experience where you started asking yourself those questions and the actions you later took?
@j – question for you. What proportion of nights out now do you get an SNL? And are there a significant proportion where you get close but no lay (so for eg, you pull her but for whatever reasons, no lay)? If you dropped your standards down from “girl I find attractive” down to “any girl who passes the boner test” (let’s say HB6 or above), then would you be confident of getting an SNL/pull almost every time you went out? (I say “almost” because nothing is 100% and luck always plays a role). I am asking because I’ve reached… Read more »
Hi everyone. My name is Thomas, I’m 22, from France. A few weeks ago, I bought the TRM trilogy (I currently read’em all now) and I’ve been reading posts on your blog for some months. While reading, I remembered many scenes of my past relationships with a new eye, and I know I screwed up at the time. For example, in “lycée” (15 to 18 yo school), I was 18 and dating a girl of 16 since the beginning of the school year. Our relationship began very high and decayed as time went by, then she dumped me 2 years… Read more »
Hi and welcome to TRM and Field Reports section. Stick around and you’ll learn a lot – I think most of us wish we’d found out about the Red Pill when we were your age. TRM is a great place and this FR section is particularly good to post your Field Reports of your interactions with girls and get advice and learn and get better. PS – I strongly suggest you don’t use your real name and location in these comments. Your country is fine – you probably can’t be identified from that. Giving your age, your full name and… Read more »
Hi, I’m the French guy of 22. I just read your message, about not giving up my name and all. It slipped my mind, so, thanks. I usually use the alias of Zaphkiel, my archangel. Uh, before my post of this morning, I’ve never left a comment of TRM, and I’m not sure how to contact Rollo for the deletion of my post. I don’t even know where it landed among all of the other ones.
Would you please give me a hand with all this ?
Thanks a lot though, Culum Struan.
Zaphkiel.
Hey Zaphkiel – welcome
Rollo will usually see your comment here (he reads all comments) and erase the post.
I think he posted recently he is moving house and may not be available much for the next few days so if the comment isn’t deleted in about a week, you can post another comment here just to remind him and he should see it.
Ok, that’s noted. Thanks a lot. Also, quick question: you seem to be familiar with Rollo, do you happen to know if there is a demand for translation? I’ve spent 3 years boring my ass off at University (my class was 90% composed of girls) ‘studying’ translation, and even though I didn’t get the degree and hence can’t make it my main occupation, I want to translate into French something that drives me, and TRM does. Rollo didn’t answer this part of my first comment I kindda stupidly sent him on FB (non-taken). If you’ve been to France, young men… Read more »
@Zaphkiel, yeah, what Culum said. In fact, I’d pick yet another user name and don’t even mention the other names or the other comments in any way or which country you are from. We don’t need that information. We don’t know where a lot of each of us are located – not really necessary.
@Zaphkiel – no idea I’m afraid. None of us have met Rollo (except for the odd one who may have gone to the 21 Convention where he spoke). We’ve just been on these comment forums for a while and discussed stuff with him here.
If you post stuff here, he will usually see it and reply (if he wants to), so I suggest you wait a week or so till he’s around more often after his house move and then post a comment asking about it.
Ok, I’ll do that. Again, thanks a lot for your time and genuine kindness.
Have a good day!
Culum What proportion of nights out now do you get an SNL? And are there a significant proportion where you get close but no lay (so for eg, you pull her but for whatever reasons, no lay)? If you dropped your standards down from “girl I find attractive” down to “any girl who passes the boner test” (let’s say HB6 or above), then would you be confident of getting an SNL/pull almost every time you went out? (I say “almost” because nothing is 100% and luck always plays a role). At this point in your game you should be able… Read more »
Culum Archie has a post on Social Capital If we were to graph his over time – if you keep going to the same spots – you’ll see that a good # of people also go the same time you do – so your “social capital” will build with them. They see you chat up 5 groups of people over 6 weeks – but you haven’t talked to them – they’ll give you social proof benefit when you show up by yourself and not talking to anyone. We’ve talked about this pseudo-social circle that exists in a club that can… Read more »
Thanks Sentient, you’re spot on.
It’s only the last couple of nights on my last Blitz in September that I felt I really “did the work” as you put it – one with my wing, and one alone – and unsurprisingly those were my best nights.
Definitely doing that in the Nov and Dec Blitzes.
I already know a couple of people at my regular venues (one bouncer at one of the Latin venues, a bartender elsewhere, etc) but I need to focus more on actively building it up..
So I’ll do a mini FR of my crap night a few nights back. I sometimes feel weird about writing FR’s here because I find it hard to relate the teachings of various pickup guys who I try to learn from to the mysterymethod which is obviously promoted here on this blog. I guess I should just stress that everything I do on a night out IS based on the teachings of various RSD guys (in terms of teh words I use/vibe etc) and i’m not necessarily just ‘winging it’. And I also do understand how in a way RSD… Read more »
Culum Change your mindset to “have to fuck” and not “will run Game”. Go beyond experimentation. I think once you start getting a few cold approach bangs it will all click. So I’d also start hitting the more obvious “meat market” spots that every city has. The places where women go very explicitly to fuck… The new in town, single moms, newly divorced etc. Snag a nice 7 and make a move. Ruthless. Also why you are not daygaming every day in your big city and number farming Day 2ing a stream of chicks off that is mysterious… That would… Read more »
@Scars, damn dude. You had me laughing in a proud way with that last FR. If I was around you in person when you said/did those things, I’d have given you one of Sentient’s Decaprio raised glass nods. I’d guess that your appearance and/or confidence may be the remaining issue. What would you say you look like?
Did you see those Honest Signalz videos that I mentioned to you the other day?
Scars
It’s your subcomms. If you feel the same way as you write, it is going to show.
Who are you!
Hand of God…
Etc.
Require rock SOLID frame and subcomms to pull off… Which is one of the negatives of RSD flashy infields. They “look” easy… But look deeper and you will find there is no free lunch. Also they are more preselected in their haunts then they disclose…
No DiCaprio for you…!!!
@Sentient – no mystery, just total, crippling approach anxiety in daygame (except for the occasional situational opener – like “I hate it when someone is late” to a girl obviously waiting at a downtown meeting spot, that sort of thing).
I have tried quite a few times and mostly given up in disgust with a view to nailing nightgame first and then coming back to daygame. I have some AA in nightgame too, but it’s manageable and I’m getting better at pumping up my state and fixing it.
Daygame, not so much.
newlyaloof – I did see them honestsignalz vids. I’ve seen them before in fact. I like the concept, but I find that either I’m unable to actually HAVE FUN when approaching some random girl without the environment giving me anything, if that makes sense. Like, if you locked me in an ampty room and said ”right, quickly..have fun!” I’m not sure what i’d do. Probably just jump around, but I doubt it’d really be that much ‘fun’. In fact, honesstsignalz said that a 3rd vid was on the way to explain it all, sa I noticed other youtubers commenting pretty… Read more »
” find that either I’m unable ”
Realised I missed out the ‘OR’
OR I basically am able to do something that makes me have fun and laugh, but the girl can’t relate and thinks i’m a moron, lol
Culum
“I have tried quite a few times and mostly given up in disgust ”
Sounds like an opportunity to Do the Work and break through…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdVCfDioTcY
Arnold on Doing the Work ™ and the result of it – “I get the feeling I’m cumming day and night!”
Anyway, i’m off out yet again. 7pm here. Later
@culum I have tried quite a few times and mostly given up in disgust with a view to nailing nightgame first and then coming back to daygame. Right, and three years from now your night game won’t quite be good enough, so you’ll need just a little more practice before you move on to daygame. lol I think actually you should not do nightgame at all until you work on your daygame more. Night game is honestly a lot more challenging. Only difficulty with daygame is the approach (which is harder in that people aren’t necessarily expecting to be opened,… Read more »
@Catchers
The next one that pops up, I’ll probably marry and have a kid and expect the new relationship energy to die, and plan accordingly.
Every since I’ve learned of the ” new relationship energy ” thing ( mostly from YaReally ), I’ve thought long and hard about it. I have no reference point at all with this phenomenon. I mean, I can grasp it and understand it, but haven’t experienced it first hand. Seems to have something to do with Netflix and couches, lol. Same thing I’ve heard about marriage – that everything just dies at some point and it becomes soul crushing and men dread going home and get bored out of their minds and need escape or new pussy immediately of they… Read more »
Great comment Blax. This idea of New Relationship Energy always puzzled me when spoke of by YaReally. As if it were inevitable. That idea stems from getting your needs met by outside sources (another or multiple other women) rather than in a context of a mans own Purpose and Mission. I even looked into that when WIA mentioned it today. I don’t have time to explain how I never had NRE be an issue (going out to dinner soon). I realize I was never needy for deriving my energy from another, my wife complemented what I wanted to do, what… Read more »
I think that this is what’s going on with New Relationship Energy:
New Relationship Energy = liminence or infatuation = oxytocin/vasopressin deluge
…the New Love ™ Syndrome
“What is it that you expect a woman to bring into your life?”
Well Considering the fact that I’m still in my early 20s and the current state of American women, not much. Just a fucktoy to play around with for a couple hours during the week. Hopefully yareally’s Reversion theory comes true then my answer my change:
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2015/02/20/a-european-man-on-american-women
@ j
I want to know what you think, not what YaReally said or what was on heartiste’s blog.
If you don’t mind, that is.
@ j
So, a woman is just a fucktoy for a few hours a week?
How do you think things might change to your satisfaction, and if you’ve been spending so much time seeing women as strictly fucktoys, will it even make a difference if ” things change “?
@ sjf When we were furiously going at it with YaReally and scray, when Ya was wanting to discuss how he could one day have children without risking dealing with the court system and not marrying….ever…because death is absolute, I posed the idea to him that it wouldn’t be possible because he wouldn’t be mentally prepared in any way. He didn’t have the core set of beliefs and understanding. He wanted to have a scenario where he would knock up a chick and keep playing the field and everything would be peaches and cream. I never got from him how… Read more »