For the past three years of The Rational Male there’s been a consistent presence in the comment threads of guys seeking advice for particular situations with regards to Game. Whether it’s fine tuning certain aspects of Game or a larger consensus of the guys participating in my comment threads it’s become obvious there’s a need for a dedicated page and comment thread to address these Field Reports.
So I’m instituting this page for exactly this. If there is some urgency to have members of The Rational Male community analyze your particular situation feel free to hit anyone up in the comments of my current post, but please refer them to your particular field report with a link to your comment here. I’m hoping this will alleviate the mass of posts for field report analysis and Game specific insights piled into the main blog post for any given week.
There will be some rules for this “forum” as such. I ask that you only keep your comments to addressing the field reports at hand and save your larger theoretical stuff for the main posts, or if relevant, keep the “bigger scope of things” posts to being as succinct as possible. There will be no moderation in this comment thread (spamming excepted), so realize it will be a very hot kitchen before you post. I will impose no restrictions on video links here, nor will I limit links to various, but pertinent articles.
Understand, this is an experiment for now. It’s likely this comment thread will exceed thousands of comments. I’ll be instituting new comment plug-ins for wordpress to deal with this in the future, but I may archive this page the the posts and refresh this page in the future as well. If this gets cumbersome I may simply institute a dedicated forum-style sub-site of The Rational Male to accommodate for Game specific questions.
So have at it, post your field reports and feel free to comment on the ones you have some particular insight for. Be forewarned that it’s likely things may get a bit salty at times and I expect a lot of back & forth with debate and disagreements, but that’s what this thread is for – to hash out Game particulars for your given situations.
HABD – yes indeed.
I’m only exaggerating slightly when I say I chose where to go to grad school based on where the hottest/most girls were – it was an enormous factor in my thinking. I chose a big city over a cold, snowy but beautiful college town, and I’m still in the same big city all these years later (except for a few years when I used to live in a small town and come to the big city on work)
I have started following your content and reading one of your books. There is something that baffles me a lot and I am not very sure and I do not know how to deal with it: it is when my husband approaches me to ask me questions about the past, things I did or said, I really want to clear everything up with him. There is something that puts me on the defensive when he approaches me to ask me and I start to lie or deny everything and it ends in an argument, everything is wrong. There is a… Read more »
@HABD Why is your son struggling with food job offers? Is it a function of the greater environment? You don’t want to be oblivious – Nero fiddling while Rome burns and all that – but its way too easy to go to the opposite extreme and focus on the negativity when you should be focussing on the positive and building something, while merely being aware of the negative stuff. I’m really struggling with that at the moment. It’s very bad out there and I’m consuming far too much of what’s going on. It’s very damaging and difficult to build a… Read more »
Palma
How did the crockery situation resolved?
Lau
Send ya boy here, this place is for him, not you.
It appears more and more clear to me that people feel that society is going down. Thus they seek more traditional traits, especially those near the wall. Europe takes the way Rhodesia did (credit to Sentient), it really does, especially when comparing to former emerging countries like China – though it is very slow and many still refuse to see it. Since Trump it got even more apparent that we are no better off than a vassal state, our governing elites are economically tied more intensely to the US economy than to our domestic one. Thus they don’t care what… Read more »
Palma, I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Here is Dr OTP’s prescription to address the problem: Stop social media and the news. All of it. You can read a newspaper or glance at your favourite sites once a week to make sure the Russians haven’t actually landed invasion forces in England or whatever. Honestly you could just stop looking altogether – it will be good for your mental health and free up a lot of time (even though I’m sure you spend less time online than the average person). Anything REALLY important you’ll probably find out anyway – from… Read more »
@PalmaSailor @HABD Why is your son struggling with food job offers? Is it a function of the greater environment? yep… he’s too male, white and young… and he’s on the spectrum too… mostly AI is taking over entry level computer jobs… so he doesn’t have a traditional career path to follow… “You don’t want to be oblivious – Nero fiddling while Rome burns and all that – but its way too easy to go to the opposite extreme and focus on the negativity when you should be focussing on the positive and building something, while merely being aware of the… Read more »
It’s happened…
Hahaha. I don’t normally listen to podcasts (I find it faster to read information than to listen to it) but I may need to make an exception for this one.
Mystery looking pretty good for what? Mid 50s? With kids and a divorce behind him?
I have a long flight coming up next week -this would be perfect. If only I can figure out a way to not have to explain to my son sitting beside me what all this “Rational Male” stuff is and who this “Mystery” guy is..
Gang, how’s everyone doing? Everyone who is still checkin in anyway? I am doing fine – still deep in a hole financially but finally have some clear plans to break out of it and executing. Stuff with family surprisingly good despite that and mainly trying to keep progressing despite financial strains. Not really doing any Game at all – just don’t have the mental energy for it but it’s very much on the list and not being forgotten – thinking about going out weekly as a mental break and may do some Game then. Still some Game/PUA groups that are… Read more »
OTP
What forums?
Hello. I’m still navigating the situation I commented on half a year ago and 2 months ago with N3 and N19 and (surprise) a bit of N4 in the back of my mind. N4 passed through Europe. I didn’t go meet up. Maybe that was incorrect. She wanted me to. Last time we were together was before 2022. I have very fond memories. N19 is still spinning. N3 is still spinning. N3 was going to have a visit from this other guy she met (now over a year ago), presumably in September, and then she would visit him at some… Read more »
@IAS You been spinning this plate amongst others for years now and she’s pushing 40. She is programmed really to seek “commitment” which on a sense she has, but objectively doesn’t have the backing of the state (marriage). The fact you’ve done this is an incredible testament to game and your mastery of it. It also shows how things really work, share an alpha etc. This woman isn’t going anywhere, the present test for you is being able to step back. If she wanted to fuck this other guy ten she would and if he was a serious threat then… Read more »
Sorry for delay guys – was a crazy busy week with work and stuff. Sentient – mostly on Telegram these days since the scene has gone underground again reminiscent of pre 2010. There are many groups, some of which are private and you get invited to after showing you know what you are talking about. I dip in and out and sometimes I’m very active and sometimes I’m not, but it really feels like I’m talking to children a lot. Even the men who are good at Game mostly have no idea of underlying principles even at the level of… Read more »
@IAS – basically agree with everything Palma said, but more generally will repeat something I said months ago – your skills are clearly good, but you have to know where you are going – if you don’t know where you are going, then you can’t plan a route there. It honestly sounds to me like you basically want what that Blackdragon guy Palma mentioned would call an OLTR/MLTR – basically a serious girlfriend with the option for a woman or two on the side for variety (in an open way). This is more or less what a lot of the… Read more »
Hanging in there
Hey Blax, if that’s you, it’s good to hear from you.. how ya been?
Blax!
I was just re-reading some old posts a few days ago and saw an old story from you about talking to some girl when standing in line to go to the bank or something. Hope you’re making some new stories still..
Mini-FR just to remind myself honestly there’s more to life than just working non-stop on stabilising finances and what is waiting for me to get back to when I am done. Out at dinner with the family, table opposite us (ie, behind my wife) has two women, one of them a very attractive blonde in her 40s (around my age). I would say still a solid 7, and considering how few women her age still look good, probably an 8 for her age. I was laughing and joking with my kids and she kept looking at me and making eye… Read more »
Guys – Have any of you guys heard of a new book called The Preparation? I just downloaded it. It’s bya guy called Doug Casey along with a father-son. The idea is to provide a semi-structured alternative to college for young men to teach them essential life skills suitable for men since college is now a bad investment for them in many ways. It includes physical/mental toughness (martial arts training), certification as a paramedic, learning to cook, and a whole range of other things. I really like the concept – reminds me a bit of the “Septivium” concept from the… Read more »
@OTP, IMHO The Preparation is a great concept. There is an interview of Maxim Smith on Mike Farris – coffee and a mike, where he is sometime into the process. Pilot’s training,sailboating,self defense, gold exploration and other things already under his belt.
I read Casey’s book Crisis Investing when in my early 20s, changed my outlook immensely, I owe much of my success to that.
Just checking in really. Went away with the family on holiday and the older son joined us for a weekend. It was nice to see him and at the end of the time after I put him into a taxi back to the airport, and after he had gone, for the first time in about 20 years I welled up and started to cry. That virtually never happens and it came from nowhere. It was short lived and Mrs PS was all cuddles and sympathy at the time but subsequently during an argument she threw it back in my face… Read more »
@Stuffinbox – Welcome back – it’s great that so many of the old gang turn up and check in occasionally – if Rollo would post more and we had more stuff to talk about I think we’d be back to the old levels of activity soon enough. As for the Preparation – thanks. The more I read the book the more I like the concept. I think it needs to be customised to each young man (and the family’s circumstances etc) but the principle is rock solid – the framework is great to build on top of. I’ll check out… Read more »
@OTP, yah when Casey wrote ‘crisis investing ‘ pc’s weren’t even a thing. He is a hard tier 1 assets guy,and so am I.
I look at the mediums of exchange and set out to acquire the assets they represent.
As for the hamster reading emotions, maybe they are a tell.
Hang in there!
How would you advise a YOUNG MAN to proceed, when he has: 1) Been obsessed with the same girl since age 13 (dated for entire teen years, she dumped him as soon as they hit adulthood); 2) Read Rational Male and tons of other red pill material; 3) Banged 70 hot girls in a scandinavian university town to try to get over the first girl but is still obsessed with her; 4) Started banging girl #1 after two years of radio silence; 5) Insanely got her pregnant on purpose to try to keep her from leaving him again; 6) Was… Read more »
How would you advise a YOUNG MAN to proceed, when he has: 1) Been obsessed with the same girl since age 13 (dated for entire teen years, she dumped him as soon as they hit adulthood); 2) Read Rational Male and tons of other red pill material; 3) Banged 70 hot girls in a scandinavian university town to try to get over the first girl but is still obsessed with her; 4) Started banging girl #1 after two years of radio silence; 5) Insanely got her pregnant on purpose to try to keep her from leaving him again; 6) Was… Read more »
@W – welcome to the Field Reports section – things are a lot slower here than they used to be but we’ll see how many of the OGs are around to comment on this. You are talking about yourself right? While you certainly could have handled the situation better in the past, at this point in time it seems to me that you pretty much have everything you want? I mean – you have the girl who is your One, you have a baby with her which means she’s tied to you (in some form) for the next 18 years… Read more »
Yes – how do I make things the way they were before? When she was sweet and everything was free and easy between us? Our son is 5 months old. She’s been living with me for 4 months. We are early 20s. On the surface our relationship seems ok, but she is emotionally stoic and cold. We don’t argue. We still have a good sex life. But she hardly speaks to me aside from the logistics of life. How can she freeze me out for this long without cracking. I am living in a state of dread that she will… Read more »
Alright @W – that’s a good amount of information. In short I think you are in a good place – you’re in a much better starting point than most men. All you need to do is keep living with her and being an attractive man and she will warm up over time. Most men in bad marriages are too beta and need to up their alpha to make their wives more attracted to them. In your case, it looks – from your description – as if it’s a little more unusual and you actually need to show her a bit… Read more »
Yeah. I will try all that. I have read Rollo’s book. That’s how I ended up here. Because I know I have broken a bunch of the iron rules. And I know that I have oneitis. I know how to act alpha and I do it. But I hold a lot back from her. About how much I really feel for her. And I can’t shake the dread that she might leave. Because of course it’s always a possibility. Getting past that is my mental battle. She definately has more options than me. Now that she has my child and… Read more »
You’ll be fine. You have all the cards. You need to accept that you have more options than her, but that will take time.
Start with reading what I said and taking her on a romantic date and just have fun on the date – treat it like a first date with someone new.
Then come back here and post a detailed field report – remember this is not an overnight fix, but a journey similar to getting fit at the gym
@W @OTP W, you are thinking like yourself (a man) and not like your wife (a woman) thinks. It is important that you get over that fear or losing her. It can happen in many different ways (she can die in some accident or something terrible like that. Maybe read about stoic philosophy because there are just things you can’t control and it isn’t good to worry about those. Is it true that W’s wife has more “casual sexual” options than W? Very likely. Even with W having a high SMV. But is it relevant? Most average women can get… Read more »
Yup, everything @IAS said. Great perspective.
Come back and give us an update @W – did you actually take action?
Palma
How is the littlest one doing?
Sentient He’s doing very well. I’ve been blocked out of my imgur by the nanny state and I haven’t had time to find an alternative or I’d poast a photo / short video of him. Just over a year old now and toddling around chirping. Obviously he’s the younger of the two but he seems to be progressing faster than the older one, picking up words etc. they’re both “speaking” two languages and the older one is picking up words that we didn’t even say which is interesting especially since we don’t have a TV so they don’t get sat… Read more »
Hey I was going to post a Christmas/NY update thing but you guys beat me to it. How’s everyone else who is still checking in here? There’s still some life here yet – atleast some of us checking in every couple of days. Would be good to find a place with some community to hang out at though. I miss it too. Things are fine here. Family is in good shape, and my physical shape is improving steadily. Financial instability is (still) the main concern but I have a plan and I am grinding along executing it with slow improvement… Read more »
Merry Christmas All!!!
… and a happy new year!
Happy New Year old heads…
Happy new year all
Happy New Year gang
Mini-FR – speaking in the [Asian language I’ve been learning] to a waitress talking about our visit to her country etc and wife “jokes” that she bets I was asking the waitress out for a drink right in front of her.
So things working well enough on that front despite the financial issues.
BTW one of my key goals for this year is to get back to being social and Game. Not even about women necessarily so much as just getting out of the house/office and doing social stuff again. What Blaximus used to call “Game” in the broader sense. I’ve needed to focus on family and finances and fitness for a long time (and that will continue for a while) but it feels like I’ve just forgotten how to go out and enjoy myself and just live life a bit and I want to restart that this year and find myself again… Read more »
Question for the brains trust. What’s the play when the teenage son is disrespectful to mom and not disrespectful to me (or like 95% less so to me)? I obviously don’t tolerate blatant disrespect to mom and come down on him hard but there’s a significant gray area where I basically think she’s wrong or she’s overreacting and he is quite good at coming right up to the line of what will trigger me, but is way over the line for her and I find it hard to step in when I’m basically thinking “but he’s right and you [wife]… Read more »
@OTP I’m not an expert on this but I suspect that whatever you should do about it, most of it will be 1 on 1 with him without mom present. Even if he is right, son is failing mom’s shit tests to him if it is escalating. If only due to that, you should correct / teach him on how to handle those situations.
And 1 on 1 with mom without him present, but that part must be obvious to you 😉
OTP “And 1 on 1 with mom without him present, but that part must be obvious to you 😉” This. Sure have a chat with him, and he’s entering the age where you can get more direct on the difference between men and women, and lay down the law according to YOU as what is acceptable. BUT – here is the squishy part… IAS nails it. You AlSO need to reign in mom, and that is high conflict my brah. But that is what is called for. A shit test by another name. Yes yes yes yes they will use… Read more »
It’s part of the “let’s you and him fight” dynamic.
I’ll need to re read and sleep on it but it feels like her over reaction is a shit test aimed at you.
Why should you step in anyway if he’s “disrespecting” her. Can’t she tell him to back off / put him on tne naughty step so to speak?
Thanks gang. To me, blatant disrespect is shouting, sounding aggressive saying unpleasant things or direct disobedience or a really rude tone of voice. I won’t tolerate that and I will stop him (whether addressed to me or to mom). However, I give him more leeway on a bit of eye-rolling, slight raising of voice/sharp tone of voice or general complaining/carelessness/sarcasm (eg when mom tells him to go clean his room for the third time) on the basis that he’s a teenager and it happens. What tends to happen with mom is that it’s kind of a vicious circle – mom… Read more »
In days gone by, Rollo would have a great post on this kind of thing https://nypost.com/2026/02/03/us-news/realtor-mom-denies-taking-a-dime-from-mogul-to-dump-husband-claims-her-terrible-marriage-was-over-before-divorce-filing/
BEFORE
AFTER
https://www.tiktok.com/@utahrealestatepaige/video/7587505253776379167
https://www.tiktok.com/@utahrealestatepaige/video/7570162587329907998
Non Zero probability she ends up on Dancing With The Stars over this.
““The marriage was terrible,” she said. “There was a time where we didn’t have sex for a year — like, it was terrible.”
Hahaha.
She really is very attractive though, especially for her age (about 40?), even discounting for the filters and makeup etc. Totally my type physically.
Think she probably needs some more followers and fame to make it to DWTS, but who knows, a bit of TikTok popularity at the right time and she might make it – I’d certainly watch her
(She is not popular in the comments feed to the Post article..the commenters know what’s up)
OTP
But her ex… Gigachad right?
Waiting for HABD to point out you can see her underwear in the family portrait… 😂
I dunno perhaps I’m missing something, but I just can’t see that the ex husband wasn’t banging her. I don’t believe it was a year without sex, though I might be mistaken.
Well without sex with him…
😂
While you guys are here – has anyone noticed that younger men/boys these days seem to be much less interested in girls? I don’t think I am imagining that it’s way different to when we were young? There isn’t a single couple in my son’s junior high class – not one. The boys think the girls in their grade are ugly/unpleasant (they aren’t – from what I can see when I visit the school they are perfectly normal early teen girls) and I don’t know what the girls think of the boys but it’s nothing good I’m sure. My son… Read more »
Oh and another data point – a friend’s daughter aged 15 is part of a friendship group of 4 girls at a nearby school – all 4 of them are lesbians dating each other (there is a lot of drama when they switch partners). But what about the boys? How many of these girls are actually lesbians? How much of it is just the boys in their circles (it is a girls’ school but they know plenty of boys) not stepping up and doing anything? Connected to which – even though I am basically a vampiric hermit these days –… Read more »
They’re not lesbians, they’re children. Girls to be precise and should be treated as such.
“I am getting eye contact and smiles and general engagement from WAY more women than I used to. Of a range of ages..”
Yeah isaiah 4.1
End of times
In that day seven women will take hold of one man and say, “We will eat our own food and provide our own clothes; only let us be called by your name. Take away our disgrace!”
Not disgrace – but fear.
@OTP regarding less sex in young people nowadays I’m very doubtfull of that statistics actually. But I’ll post some hypothesis just to get a nice discussion started here: Thirty years ago having an affair as a young (wo-/)man was a solid way to anger your parents – it’s not anymore. This reduces the “rebellion factor” in the equation. Many a young man is less confident about himself generally and especially about his masculinity than earlier generations might have been. Young men and women in the western world are trained that sexual intentions in human social interactions are generally toxic unless… Read more »
Side note to enrich the anecdotal evidence from my own environment: Girl (HB5, but very lovely) desperatly tries to get a boyfriend and goes out partying a lot (and I really mean so). Although she’s been partying hard for several years and really puts in the work, nothing serious has come around for her. Nowadays she uses to make out with a fellow girlfreind of hers and I guess she meets for a threesome with the boyfriend of her girlfriend. Good solution, although quite temporarily. Next girl (solid HB8.5 if not HB9) just got rid of her LTR boyfriend (guy… Read more »
@NNN1 – good comments. How are things going with your girlfriend? It sounds like you are getting proper desire sex on your terms? As for the rest – do you really think the statistics are wrong? That is to say – you think that the men in their 20s now are having as much sex as men who were in their 20s in the 1980s? I don’t necessarily trust statistics as they can be totally manipulated but in this case everything I see around me in daily life (including how my teenage son and his friends behave) suggests that is… Read more »
How do you deal with jealous guys who want to snatch your girl from you? And beta orbiters? Currently 3 months into my first relationship with my first girlfriend. I am facially disfigured from a terrible accident and was almost turning into an incel. I got into the gym, spent two years working hard to get in shape and studying RP, approached and was rejected by more than a hundred women. Kissless virgin until age 22. Worked really hard to get where I am today. I tried with HB4, HB5, HB6, always rejected. Eventually hooked up with HB8, who is… Read more »
Hi Robert
Welcome..
There’s quite a lot of stuff in your report to chew on and I’m out of practice. Give me a couple of days and I’ll come back with some observations..
Robert, Welcome to TRM. We’ll do our best to be sounding boards and help you out, and I hope you stick around and keep us updated with your progress. All the regular posters (who are left here) largely agree on the key principles, but we’re all different people and have different styles and our advice might vary slightly. First, I want you to remember (and remind yourself daily) that you have done something amazing – despite your disadvantages, you had the grit and determination and focus to put in a LOT of hard work to improve your life. 99% of… Read more »
Thanks man. I really appreciate that. I am fairly versed in RP principles but I am always learning. Always trying to optimize my situation the best I can. I understand that most men who like myself won’t cheat or try to flirt will be able to build an abundance mentality by simply being social and talking to women in normal social situations and letting their girlfriend see how women react to them. But I am disfigured from my accident with 2/3 of my face badly scarred and I only have one eye. Women are not attracted to me. The opposite.… Read more »
@Robert
Things are mad here so I haven’t been able to get to your poast.
Briefly, be under no illusion, a badly disfigured and even disabled Alpha will score women all day long whilst very good looking physically able and rich betas will flunk out every time.
Things are not what they seem, and yiu should take what you want.
I’ll reply properly over the next week or so when I get 5 to myself.
@Robert as others have already pointed out… That you have this handicap and overcome it is a extremely poignant proof of your mettle. You are tall and fit. You have willpower. From a biological point of view, if you reproduce, the scar is not particularly meaningful, whereas you doing well despite it, is meaningful. Your hot girlfriend has secured a valuable prize and she doesn’t want to lose you. You earned her affection by being the valuable man that you are, and you like her. Win-Win! Yes, initially some people (including other women) would be scared of your facial features.… Read more »
How do you deal with jealous guys who want to snatch your girl from you? And beta orbiters? Laugh at them, and ignore the orbiters – and see below Currently 3 months into my first relationship with my first girlfriend. Well done. I am facially disfigured from a terrible accident and was almost turning into an incel. Well it seems like you didn’t in the end. @IAS made a very good point above. If you don’t want to be a facially disfigured incel you have to turn into a facially disfigured bad arse – and women will, and do throw… Read more »
Thanks for all the encouragement and advice lads, first of all. I’m still working on internalizing confidence and for now trying to get along as best I can, sometimes still feeling like an imposter. I did think I was going to die alone and often feel like I “skipped” a level going from years of nothing to getting HB8 who makes me feel like a human being, it’s harder than you think to not overinvest/pedestalize her/become beta towards her. I’m trying lads. I really do think that she was traumatized by the situation with her father cheating on her mother.… Read more »
Robert, AWALT doesn’t mean all women are identical. It means all women have the same basic makeup and tendencies but they are expressed differently. It’s like saying all men have the capacity to become angry. That’s true – 100% of us become angry. But some are slow to anger, some are quick, we’re dtriggered by different things etc. So yes – AWALT, and all women respond to the same basic traits in men, but the way it is expressed and how long it takes etc can vary. I promise you, your girl isn’t a special snowflake and notwithstanding her specific… Read more »
On another note, has anyone read Rollo’s new book? It seems to have come out a few months ago called Reignite – I didn’t even know he had a new book out since he didn’t post anything here anymore…seems to be practical advice based on the TRM principles?
Also, Robert – keep in mind that if you do set out to enforce your boundaries on the phone thing, it WILL cause drama with her. Ultimately if you hold your frame it should be fine, but there IS a chance it will end your relationship, because you are still learning how to handle tests and maintain frame, and (importantly) you are trying to take away a privilege you have already given her (instead of never giving it to her in the first place which is a lot easier). It’s up to you whether you want to go down this… Read more »
So when I did set boundaries about the snooping and leaving so much of her stuff here this is what happened. She has a strong frame and is used to getting everything she wants I think, and dominating situations but in a smooth and covert way while being very sweet all the time. She kept looking at me very sadly (fake) and explaining how this or that thing is absolutely needed every time she takes a shower, her entire life will be uprooted without continuous access to this serum, I said you can keep some here but not all, it’s too… Read more »
Robert, a few short points: 99% of this is in your head (it’s understandable – most people’s issues are in their heads – yours are more serious but same principle) Your relationship is in good shape for the most part (just don’t bend too much to her frame – you’ve already bent on the phone stuff etc) You DO deserve her. If you lose her, you WILL get another girl just as attractive or more. Your issue is no different to a guy being really (naturally) ugly or the wrong race or short etc (yes, it’s a bit more serious… Read more »