Field Reports

lion-chasing-gazelle

For the past three years of The Rational Male there’s been a consistent presence in the comment threads of guys seeking advice for particular situations with regards to Game. Whether it’s fine tuning certain aspects of Game or a larger consensus of the guys participating in my comment threads it’s become obvious there’s a need for a dedicated page and comment thread to address these Field Reports.

So I’m instituting this page for exactly this. If there is some urgency to have members of The Rational Male community analyze your particular situation feel free to hit anyone up in the comments of my current post, but please refer them to your particular field report with a link to your comment here. I’m hoping this will alleviate the mass of posts for field report analysis and Game specific insights piled into the main blog post for any given week.

There will be some rules for this “forum” as such. I ask that you only keep your comments to addressing the field reports at hand and save your larger theoretical stuff for the main posts, or if relevant, keep the “bigger scope of things” posts to being as succinct as possible. There will be no moderation in this comment thread (spamming excepted), so realize it will be a very hot kitchen before you post. I will impose no restrictions on video links here, nor will I limit links to various, but pertinent articles.

Understand, this is an experiment for now. It’s likely this comment thread will exceed thousands of comments. I’ll be instituting new comment plug-ins for wordpress to deal with this in the future, but I may archive this page the the posts and refresh this page in the future as well. If this gets cumbersome I may simply institute a dedicated forum-style sub-site of The Rational Male to accommodate for Game specific questions.

So have at it, post your field reports and feel free to comment on the ones you have some particular insight for. Be forewarned that it’s likely things may get a bit salty at times and I expect a lot of back & forth with debate and disagreements, but that’s what this thread is for – to hash out Game particulars for your given situations.

 

2,702 comments

  1. Thursday FR:

    Early in the night (8:30PM) I made a few drive by “hey how are you’s” and complements. However, I didn’t make any big approaches (i.e. I talk to a girl and all her friends in hopes it’ll lead to a Day2 or sex or just to have a conversation) at all in the beginning, which kind of stifled me for most of the night, causing me to give up more and more good opportunities. Later (around 10:00PM) I met up with some friends to escape my mental hell hole, we joked around and I got distracted from approaching for a bit. Then around 10:30PM I approached and flirted with a girl who didn’t seem to be talking to anyone. I wasn’t very attracted in this woman at all, so I didn’t really bother to get her number or anything. We chatted for about 10 minutes. Then I went back to my friends to hang out some more with them. Then around 12:30PM I got tired, didn’t feel like talking to anyone anymore, and left lolol.

    Today I’ll be going out again. It’s Saint Patty’s so shits gonna get wild lolol. At 9:00PM I’ll start things off normally as I usually do by trying to get a good solid genuine approach in within 5 minutes of entering the first venue, then i’ll try to make subsequent approaches there after. My friends will probably be a little distracting but idk — sometimes I get motivated when they’re around because i feel like I can “impress” them by hitting on a girl, which is kind of like a short term motivator, not the healthiest form of motivation, but perhaps good enough to get me on my toes lolol. Then I’ll meet up with tinder girl around 10. We’ll prolly flirt around for a few minutes, get physical, and then kiss/makeout. I’ll prolly bounce her around to 2 or 3 venues, then bounce her to my place via uber. This girl seems pretty up for it too lol so its hard not to feel really excited lmao.

    @HABD

    “1) you open a girl… which gives her your attention = value giving… 2) you interact with her a little… 3) you get out before you can start to value take… rinse and repeat until you have ‘enough’ success”

    alright. I see what you mean. it looks like a good drill. I tried last night between around 8:30PM and 10:30PM but i got nervous af and settled with the minimum of just saying hey + eye contact with a bunch of girls. I’ll try it tonight again lol. i’ll try to get 100 of these kinds of approaches in.

    @Culum

    Since you’ve used a lot of online game and had a good amount of success with it, I was wondering a few things lol:
    how did you “hook up” with the girls you met? — this seems like a retarded question because everyone talks about “hook up” culture these days but personally I don’t know too many guys who’ve actually done it, and of the guys i know they don’t really talk about “how they did it”, only that they “hooked up” with some girl off tinder. So what does this mean? Where did you meet up with these girls? Did they just come over to your place? Did you have to get coffee first? Did you have to bounce them around to multiple venues? Did you have to take them on 1-5 dates before sleeping with them?

  2. @Safespace

    You can find lots of online game advice online – I haven’t seen RSD Jeffy’s Execute the Program product but I’ve heard good things about it.

    Blackdragon also has a rather good product and info on his blog. Also I can’t find the link but I saw quite a good RSD Madison video about Tinder on Youtube recently.

    But in essence keep in mind online is a huge numbers game and girls will go off your pictures much more than in real life (because they can’t judge you on anything else). So unless you’re very good looking your results will be better in real life.

    That said, no harm going into online hard to play a numbers game and rack up some lays – just keep in mind you can do better in person. It’s like a funnel – you start with lots of opening messages and then lose girls at each stage.

    Basically max out your photos – get the best you can. Decent profile optimized to what you’re screening for. Send some flirty/funny/outrageous mass opener (it is rarely worth the time to customize opening messages). Not all girls will reply even if they’ve matched you.

    With girls who do, exchange maybe 2-4 flirty messages and push for a meetup. Personally I suggest meetup for drinks first and ask for number after, but that can vary. Push for meetup SOON – that day or next day ideally – the longer you push it, more likely to get flakes (which by the way run at 50% plus even after fixing up a date – it’s not you, it’s just how online stuff goes – I routinely book two dates in a day).

    If a girl says she wants to get to know you better online first, 99% of the time it isn’t worth it – they have no intention of meeting and/or don’t like you enough and just want attention (very rare exceptions you’ll get through experience – eg if she’s 19 and a bit intimidated at meeting a guy in his 30s etc). Just next them.

    I don’t bother with girls who want to arrange the date online without giving their number for “security” reasons. Whether or not they are sincere, they are WAY more likely to flake although it has worked out for me on occasion (very early in my online dating career when I didn’t have a rule against doing this, I massively lucked into meeting a scorching hot blonde former professional model HB9 early 20s girl – think she was just bored and wanted to go out that night and she suggested meeting up in an hour when she replied to my message. Still probably the hottest girl I’ve kissed although I didn’t have the experience then to lay her).

    I’ve had a couple of chances to get girls directly to my place but messed it up, so no they don’t come right around (but it is perfectly possible to do with some girls if you play it right). I’ve had LOTS of girls come to my hotel bar when I’ve been travelling though – they don’t feel so slutty if they don’t come right to your room and the logistics are in your favour.

    The vast majority of my lays were drinks for 60-120 mins and then to my hotel room or apartment for the lay or quite a few restroom/street/parking lot BJs and the like. On the first date.

    A few went to date 2 but not many. Some women were indeed bounced around but as I’ve got better it’s become less common – I do a mini-bounce by meeting them a few minutes away from the bar and walking them to the bar which achieves some of the same results. Or chat a bit in hotel lobby and walk them to the bar..that kind of thing. Bouncing and venue changing is a good idea though.

  3. @Culum ”although I didn’t have the experience then to lay her” Could you briefly explain what you did wrong and what would be different now that you have better game?

    @safespace – I’ve never had a tinder date. I’ve never had any sort of ‘date’, in fact. I think i’d be awful! I imagine it just being awkward and full of silences and stuff. For some reason I find cold approach less nerve wracking. I guess because I can just eject and plus the whole ‘vibe’ seems more lively and so it’s easier to show some charisma and be physical and stuff? I dunno, really.

    But I have a few friends who KILL it on tinder. They’re basically all very good looking, though. Some go on quick dates and then have sex back at their place, and some of them just screen the app for DTF girls, and basically treat tinder like it’s an app for free prostitutes, lol. e.g – No actual ‘game’ is needed. They literally match on the app, open with something like ‘Ok. We both obviously like each other. Come round tonight” and then the girl shows up and they just have sex almost straight away. (obviously some of the matches just unmatch him, but since he’s handsome, he can afford to play the numbers game with that appraoch).

  4. @safespace

    alright. I see what you mean. it looks like a good drill.

    it’s a great drill…lol…

    I tried last night between around 8:30PM and 10:30PM but i got nervous af and settled with the minimum of just saying hey + eye contact with a bunch of girls.

    whoa!!! stop THAT attitude (that’s the FI pushing on you…)… not kidding… there are no ‘buts’… it doesn’t matter if you are nervous af or not… and the ‘minimum’ is what you WANT… those are ‘wins’ for this drill… so treat them as such… just focus on getting your numbers in…

    I’ll try it tonight again lol. i’ll try to get 100 of these kinds of approaches in.

    great!… and remember faster is better… so you don’t have time to start ‘thinking’…lol…

    good luck!

  5. @pitbikemike – oh, where do I begin? This was years ago, I wasn’t long out of my LTR and I did So many things wrong on almost every level (and it was a few months before I had even heard of the manosphere so I was going on some old memories of Mystery Method etc).

    Let me put it like this – basically I ran a standard blue pill dating scheme. Pretty much every part of my game is much better now, so it’s hard to pick one thing. I was basically a friendly, nice, social guy with a good job, but not much dominance or sexual escalation (and I didn’t manage the logistics well, but I wasn’t even close to having enough attraction to lay her, so that didn’t really matter). If I had to pick one thing, I’d say I didn’t sexualize enough (or at all) – bad EC, no laser, no sexual topics etc. But dominance, frame, logistics..all lacking.

    With a girl slightly less hot – definitely a 7, probably even an 8 – I would have at least been potential boyfriend/BP provider material – but a 23 year old HB9 blonde, recently stopped modelling and took some kind of receptionist job at some kind of high-end investment firm (ie, hunting for guys way richer than me) – well, she enjoyed my company for sure, but I fell between two stools – not alpha enough to be AF, and below the standard of BB providers that she could attract (plus she was like 23 so the BB wasn’t even that important to her). I only managed to meet her because she was literally online looking to go out on a Wednesday night instead of being bored at home and I was fast enough to say yes.

    But at the same time I shouldn’t be too hard on 2013 Culum. For the level I was at then, I did extremely well (even managed a couple of solid emotional spikes towards the end by accident) and got a proper makeout (even if it wasn’t super sexual). I was over the moon..to this day I remember the feeling of kissing her in the middle of the bar with my hand on the back of her head thinking “This is amazing..I’m the guy who was a virgin till 24 – I cannot believe I am kissing a girl who looks like she stepped off the pages of Vogue”. And then holding hands and walking her back to her car while all the guys walking past us downtown looked at her and then looked at me in envy. I’m smiling right now just writing about it.

    The mistakes I made weren’t deliberate – mostly it was just inexperience and I didn’t know any better and I’ve fixed those particular issues now.

  6. Then I’ll meet up with tinder girl around 10. We’ll prolly flirt around for a few minutes, get physical, and then kiss/makeout. I’ll prolly bounce her around to 2 or 3 venues, then bounce her to my place via uber. This girl seems pretty up for it too lol so its hard not to feel really excited lmao.

    @Safespace

    Good luck with your Tinder Date which you are likely engaged in at this moment.

    But Pro-tip: Don’t mistake the talking for the doing.

    https://therationalmale.com/2016/05/01/ghosts-in-the-machine/comment-page-4/#comment-154654

  7. Safespace: “My social circle game sucks – lots of engineer nerds and people beaten down by work, problems, drugs and shit. I definitely need to work on it tbh. I’ve always been kind of a “loner”, but now its starting to bite me in my ass lol.

    All of these ethical systems are a total joke in this day-in-age, refuted by scientific evidence, and self-contradictions lol. So idk. I don’t mean to be combative or anything lol but there is plenty of reason for someone to want to be a nihilist, and i think a nihilists response to your quote “It is unbecoming of the masculine mindset. And it could get someone a bad deal in life”, would be, “…cool bro. The laws of physics don’t care. neither does evolution lol”. i’m just adding in a supportive view for nihilism cause it hasn’t really been refuted at all (at least moral nihilism hasn’t), lots of scientific evidence supports it, and a lot of people get butthurt over it for some weird reason. I suspect a lot of people need a reason to live in life, and nihilism gives the feeling that there is no reason, and so that makes them feel bad, and people think “feeling bad” == “it must be wrong”, so therefore nihilism must be wrong some how, which is logically retarded lol.

    HanK Said: “I like reading OMG imput…provided its based in reality.”

    Which begs the question of concrete comments vs. abstract masculine thoughts that manosphere icons know how to employ.

    Mindset is a choice. Reality exists in an infinite space of variations. Which is a eastern mysticism, new-agey way of saying that you can invent your own reality.

    You can engage in positive masculine ways of dealing with red pill or you can be all negative and embrace the Madonna/Whore way of dealing with women. Your choice.

    Life is beautiful, if you wish it to be. Women are energy giving if you choose to use them that way. But don’t be passive. You are the source and driving force of your destiny. Not them.

  8. @ASDgamer

    “Back when I wasn’t getting laid I knew why–my rules-following, cockblocking SuperEgo–it had nothing to do with lacking confidence. Back before I knew that I was autistic. That SuperEgo is still a massive emotional obstacle to me.

    I can have empathy with other autistic men who have to deal with a SuperEgo. And who have no idea about leadership and lack social skills and have trouble calibrating women’s emotions.”

    Interesting essay I posted today in The First Female President essay. Read the full essay in my post link regarding the Alpha being controlled by his ID and his Ego and the Beta by his SuperEgo.

    https://therationalmale.com/2017/03/07/the-first-female-president/comment-page-4/#comment-192575

  9. @SJF and All!!

    Field Report for Friday, March 18

    Holy shit! Last night was great lololllololol!

    I went out at 10:00PM. Between 10:00PM to 11:00PM, I did the following. I began the night by going up to a 2-set and asking: “are you Irish?” to one of them. This started a good conversation between the three of us. I didn’t push for the number though, although I probably should have. After that set I quickly moved on to other groups of girls, asking “are you irish?” and “how are you tonight?” This got me into several decent conversations. One girl I just blatantly said “you look hot, how are you?” where she was like “thank you!” and then we talked for a bit, then I left.

    Between these 15 or so sets I experienced, there was one really weird set – the first i’ve experienced like this – where the girl was actually very mean. I went up to her and said, “are you Irish?” At first she didn’t seem very mean – she appeared very playful and cool. But at one point she just got really angry. I put my hand on her shoulder and she said, “get your hand off of me right now!”. Jesus. I didn’t really know what to say. i was in a pretty self-amused state. I quickly figured this girl was having a bad night, was upset about something. Maybe i was doing too much push, not enough pull. idk. But regardless, she got mad so I said to her friend “she’s a really hard book to read,” since I really had no idea she was upset until 2 minutes into the conversation, then I said goodbye and left. This set was very interesting. It kind of toughened my mind up since it was the first where the woman was actively bitchy and was actively trying to make me feel like shit lol.

    At 11:00PM I went over to another venue to meet up with tinder girl. This was the finale of the night lol. I was actually pretty nervous. The club was very very crowded – the music was incredibly loud. I walked by tinder girl and her group of friends, but I was too nervous, and I had to piss, so I weasled around so they wouldn’t see me and I took a piss. After pissing, i got my head together, told myself tonight was the night I would lose my virginity no matter what lol, and that i’ve put way too much effort into this shit just to quit now, and I went back to tinder girl and her group of friends and opened them. I said to one of her friends “excuse me, are you [insert tinder girls name]?”, and the girl said no, that’s [insert tinder girls name] right there. I looked over, saw tinder girl, said “hey what’s up”, she replied “how are you!”, then I grabbed her by the hand and took her away from her friends.
    “let’s go somewhere else,” I said.
    “Ok”, she replied.
    I held her hand and led her over to a small pocket between people for us to talk. From here i grabbed her by both hands and pulled her in. I made a few teasing remarks about her height, how she looked pretty but she didn’t look at all like how she looked on tinder. she made a few remarks back, about how I was “so mean!”. Then I looked her in the eyes, grabbed her by the back of the head, and we made out. It was great. First real make out in 5 years lol!
    From here all the main hurdles began to unfold. She quickly made remarks that she would be “getting up early” in order to get the idea into my head that I wasn’t going to be sleeping with her that night. I listened to this reason but I didn’t really care. I was going to make this shit happen. “that’s cool”, i said. She also made remarks that she had to stay at this current club (Venue 1) “with her friends”. To this i said, “alright I understand.” Then I began bouncing her all around the club. We visited the dance floor, visited everywhere. After 30 or so minutes of dancing and making out and building rapport and comfort, I said let’s go to Bar X. She protested at first, but then I remembered a line that RSDJulien used, so I said “it’ll just be 2 minutes. Don’t worry. We’re going on an adventure. Tonight is an adventurous night. Just 2 minutes. I’ll bring you right back!!!” and so she protested a little bit more, but eventually caved in and said “that sounds fine! just promise to take me back!”. So I took her by the hand, left the current club and went to Bar X (Venue 2).
    At Bar X we basically spent 1.5 hours building more comfort and rapport, sharing info about each other, making out and getting physical. She still kept making the excuse that she would be “getting up early tomorrow” and I continued to nod my head and say “yep. I understand. you’ve got big things to do.” I continued to do a lot of push-pull, teasing, jokes, etc. After 1.5 hours, nearing the 1:30PM, I realized now’s the time to pull the trigger. She’s all warmed up, she’s forgotten about her friends, and she’s leaning against me and grabbing me like i’m a rock in the sea lollollololmao. So I grabbed her hand, we left Bar X, and here the next big hurdle came: bouncing her to my place.
    I used the RSDJulien line again when I brought up going to my apartment. “Since you’re about to take an uber home, I guess i’ll get an uber for myself so I can go home too”, she said. “Don’t worry, we’ll head to my place for 2 seconds, get a drink, take it easy, and I’ll drive you back to your place soon after. It’ll just be 2 seconds. Don’t worry. Adventure. Tonigth is an adventurous night. Don’t think about it!!!”, i said over and over again. She protested at first, saying “no no i’ve got to go home so i can get up early” but after about 5 minutes of me saying “Adventure! Just 2 minutes! Quick drink at my place!” she said, “ok, but nothings going to happen between us.”
    “sure sure sure no worries,” I said and I ordered the uber, it arrived and we went to my place.
    At my place I came across the next hurdle: getting her up stairs and getting her clothes off. I’ve never done this shit before in my entire life lol. Oddly though, my heart wasn’t really racing and i wasn’t really nervous. Matter of fact, this entire time with this girl I felt really in charge and sure of myself. I got out of the car, went up stairs to my room and we started making out. I got her clothes off and then she started giving me a hand job.
    Following text book game, this is where things are supposed to end. I’m supposed to fuck her and boom, everythings good. But no, I came across the last hurdle I wasn’t expecting at all: I couldn’t get a fucking hard on lol. My dick wasn’t getting stiff. wtf? Mentally, i started to freak out because this chick was naked, I was naked, and now she was rubbing my balls and my dick and i was fingering her lol. But wtf? my dick wouldn’t get hard. “Shit,” I thought. “too much fucking porn dammit!” Eventually, she went down and gave me a blow job lol and my dick finally got hard so things seemed good, but once she stopped sucking my dick within 2 minutes my dick would go soft again. wtf!?!?!?!? I tried putting it in her puss but i couldn’t lol. And it wasn’t helping that she was saying, “oh no maybe its fate! maybe we shouldn’t!” ===> passive token, unhelpful resistance on her part lol wasn’t helping me at all lol. So there I was, so fucking close to losing my virginity!!! and everything was failing because my dick wasn’t operating as God intended it. Also, despite the fact that we were both naked, making out, I had finger banged her and she had sucked me dick very well, she was still protesting about “having sex” with me lol. wtf??? “maybe its fate” she said over and over again since my dick wasn’t operating. So I had to both (a) deal with my unoperating dick and (b) deal with her token protests, (c) figure where the fuck my condoms were (I wasted 2 on my soft dick so I ran all out of condoms in my room) all while (c) we were basically naked and ready to fuck. So what did I do?
    Following Mystery Method, i basically stopped all attempts at fucking her so I could get my shit together and so that maybe, just maybe, we could go at it again later. From 2:00AM to 4:00AM we basically laid together, butt-ass naked, fondling each other lol, all while building rapport, sharing stories, political ideas and shit. During this 2 hour time period i got my head together, trying to figure out (a) how to get my dick hard and (b) how to get condoms. I knew I had some condoms in my car. But if my dick won’t get hard, then what’s the fucking point???
    Then suddenly, out of the blue, after 2 hours of us chatting and “fore playing” my libido kicked in and my dick was ready to go. I don’t know how it happened, but it just happened. Maybe it was a combination of alcohol + watching hardcore porn since age 13 + trying to quit porn causing my dick to flatline, but my dick simply was not operating as expected that night. Luckily it started working, so taking advantage of this beautiful opportune moment, I said, “you’re going to stay right here and I’m going to go to my car and get the condoms out of it.”
    “no no you don’t have to do that!” she said. Then I ran outside, butt ass naked in the rain, got the condoms from my car, ran upstairs – unpacking that shit along the way – bursted into my room, and boom, I fucked her and she loved it. My virginity gone forever. My dick did run out of steam pretty quickly though, which worries me, but it stayed hard long enough to get the job done. I didn’t actually cum either, so that’s weird. This final hurdle of getting my dick hard, and a condom on it, and getting it inside her puss has made me realize that porn has really fucked up my head lol and that I need to get this shit under control. I wasn’t expecting my dick to cause me so many problems. maybe i need to get some dick pills or something lol

    Any way, i lost my virginity on Saint Patricks day, which is great. This weight is now off my shoulders forever. This morning I woke up and felt like a boss. I felt tired as shit too though because I barely slept lol, but regardless, I felt good. All possible hurdles that came at me during that night were swiftly overcome: dealing with her cock blocking friends, getting physical with her, building rapport/comfort with her, getting her out of Venue 1 and into Venue 2, building more rapport/comfort with her, bouncing her to my place, dealing with LMR and lastly, dealing with my un-operating dick lol. All solutions solved.

  10. Also, Tonight (Saturday Night) wasn’t really as good, but it was ok/

    I opened 1 set. We chatted for a bit and I got the girls name and I gave her my name but that was it. I promised to talk to her later but eventually I got really tired and left. I felt tired as shit tonight lol.

  11. Now the question becomes how to maintain Tinder girl’s interest if possible. How do ya’ll meet up with a girl again after you’ve fucked her? how is that relationship maintained or is it generally just discarded? What does a man usually do after this kind of circumstance? She texted me this morning so I guess she’s still got some interest lol. idk. i’d like her to be a fuckbuddy or something like that if possible lol.

  12. So, interesting Friday night.

    Went out with my goodlooking wing (same guy I’ve mentioned before – not quite a Natural but good looking, social and can open/escalate reasonably well so tends to do well – very Blue Pill though and although he knows about Game and has watched some Youtube videos, he mostly operates on instinct).

    Nice guy and we get along well although he’s not available to go out as much as I’d like.

    Had a good night – opened a reasonable number of girls (but nowhere near as many as I wanted to – was going to try HABD’s 15 girls per hour suggestion to Safespace).

    HIGHLIGHT – Got another number! 3 minute interaction on the street with a cute Asian HB7 late 20s who is over here studying English! A number’s not a big deal but I’m still getting used to getting them after going years without a number – now it’s 2 numbers in 2 nights out (the last night of my previous Blitz in Feb and the first night of this Blitz) so I’m getting into the groove.

    We drifted between various bars in the nightlife district – usually we stick to a big club but this was different. I didn’t drink at all and I feel great with it – partly because it means I feel good and have a fighting chance of getting to work the next day without feeling like shit if it is a weekday. But most importantly – I just notice and take in so much more. It’s like the interactions around me are an open book – partly I’m getting more experience and my perception is better – but I think the sacrifice (in getting into state) is worth it for the increased alertness and clarity. Like seeing the Matrix (btw guys I just read they are doing a remake of the Matrix – I hope it isn’t shit).

    Stayed out almost till closing time which I’m very happy about – things really do get so sexual closer to the end. One of my big resolutions for this Blitz – no going home early.

    Some random opens and chats – had one HB5.5-6 30s very drunk blonde come up and put her arm around me at the bar when my wing had gone out to take a call – then she went off before I could grab her – I motioned her back and she said she’d come back and did come back a few mins later and I grabbed her but she was so drunk and so hyperstimulated it was v difficult to hold on to her – like she could barely have a conversation of a word or more- constantly moving. Not sure what I could have done..

    Another bar, my wing opens a HB8 blonde mid 20s part of a bigger group – does quite well in persevering and keeping her talking even though hardly any attraction, then her HB7 friend crashes the conversation and HB8 leaves..HB7 stays chatting to us (both of us – my wing doesn’t really know much about wing rules) and is very friendly and giving me IOIs..likes my accent, my hometown etc – decent kino response, good EC. Solid engagement, lots of questions to me etc. Hard to run my usual date game in a loud bar/three way convo, but I say various teasing/flirting things plus 3 way polite convo – stuff like how I’m checking her out etc (she laughs), then a while later my wing leaves to get a drink and two-way convo, now about work (I figure time for some comfort – in retrospect maybe should have sexualized and gone a bit more man/woman first) and stuff and then as she’s talking about her work and stuff, I pull her in saying “I can hear you fine, but I just like holding you” – then she quite deliberately pulls back and removes my arm saying she doesn’t like being touched like that. I do okay at blowing it off – grinned and called her “cheeky” and she continues the conversation about work for maybe 3 mins after that (some energy went out of it but not much). Then she takes herself off outside to smoke and find her friends.

    Not sure what I could have done better there..I think my shit test reaction was okay in terms of action but could have been done with better subcomms/more conviction I suppose. Perhaps I should have re-engaged after that with more attraction material/emotional spikes instead of letting her keep talking about work? I think that’s the main takeaway.

    One of the most interesting sets of the night:

    Wing and I standing at the bar – cute mid 20s HB7 blonde dancing not far from us. I spotted her BT was high as soon as I saw her – we walked past her to the bar and she made EC with me. A minute later some random guy picks her up and swings her around and she’s laughing and I knew about the BT being high. A couple minutes later, I make EC, take her hand and pull her in and open her. She’s fairly drunk (but not completely gone -still reasonably lucid). I was right – not very lucid in talking but strong IOIs and compliance.

    My wing starts talking to her too – three way (ish) conversation. I was laid back anchored at the bar and making EC and teasing but he stepped in more and was talking. Some bantering and teasing between us. Her attention flipped over to him a bit, then I emotionally spiked her a bit and it came back to me. Both of us had been kinoing her but he stepped in closer and started dancing with her and moving in. Around then, this tall black dude from her group came and hugged her and she hugged him back and introduced him as her “friend” (LOL). He then said something like “okay, okay if you’re okay I’m okay” and he retreated.

    Then my wing started dancing with her again. At this point, I could feel the energy swing a bit more in his direction, but not much. I can’t even tell you why but I’m certain that she was still more interested in me smirking at the bar than she was in my wing (although she liked him too).

    I was just about to reach out and grab her and pull her back to me when she got dragged away by her group. For the next 30-40 mins she was nearby but her WK orbiter dude just literally didn’t let her out of his reach – but she kept looking over and smiling at me and making EC (also at my wing, but much less – I estimate maybe 25% of me although I may not have noticed every time she looked at him). One time I waved her over from her group and she sort of smiled and looked helpless and shook her head.

    She definitely saw me flirting with the other HB7 who was telling me about her job etc and talking to her for ages – she was only a few feet away. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, I happened to chat to the other guy from blonde HB7’s group and get his approval a bit (not the orbiter) who (I found out later was her brother).

    Then first HB7 goes off after my escalation fails, my wing comes back from the bar and we reopen the blonde HB7 when her WK orbiter disappears (I grabbed her and said something about how she and her orbiter made such a cute couple). Full compliance, she comes back in..this time similar, banter etc..my wing moves in quicker this time and has arms around her (all right in front of me as I lean back against a table) – she turns away from his first kiss as he compliments her etc but he’s doing quite well on escalation.

    It’s interesting though because she still turns back to me whenever I say something. One time I was just looking at her smirking and she starts giggling and asking “What?? Look at him..looking” and then a bit later (can’t remember why) something about me “Oh I love this guy..”. I have my arm around her whenever I’m talking to her etc (some of the above stuff was said after she started making out with him too).

    But overall I’m laid back and letting my wing go for it. Eventually she kisses him on the cheek, and then a couple minutes later she starts making out with him (again with the “enhanced perceptions” – I looked at how she was looking at him a couple seconds before she actually did it and I KNEW she was going to kiss him. I can’t tell you why – but I knew she’d decided to do it).

    So this happens for a bit. I was wondering a little bit if she was really interested in him and pretending to be interested in me with the above IOIs as a kind of beta bait/jealousy plotline thing with my wing..but I’m pretty sure it’s not that. First, I have enough experience to know genuine IOIs when I see them. And this was genuine – my read is she liked both of us but she liked me more. Second, it makes no sense – she already HAD my wing – he was pursuing her hard and complimenting her and kissing her – there was no need to run a jealousy plotline to get his attention (and the WK orbiter may as well have been invisible and her brother had quite deliberately left her alone with us).

    Then I go to the restroom and come back and say goodbye and my wing says he’ll come out with me and I say okay. I give her a hug and tell her to kiss me on the cheek which she does with alacrity and puts her arms around me (I know she would have made out with me but it would have freaked out my wing). Then he kisses her and he’s like telling her “Okay, come home with me” and she agrees with minimal resistance (I guess if there’s enough BT spiked, even the most ASD-inducing lines can work).

    Then she goes to say good bye to her group and there’s a bit of a tug-of-war but my wing does a really good job and eventually just pulls her out of the club by her hand. Outside we say goodbye again and she gives me another hug and presses up against me and kisses my cheek again (unasked) and we part ways.

    It was really interesting..I’m a bit annoyed – mostly with myself – not my wing who is clueless about wing rules. It also felt weird – as if I was walking around seeing things while my wing was walking around blind. He has no idea of the dynamics that took place around all this. For eg, if he’d gone to the restroom at the end, even after she agreed to go home with him, I KNOW I could have grabbed her and made out with her. 100%. Similarly – before HABD says it – this is classic threesome territory. She liked us both. If I had made out with her too, and then gone back to my wing’s place with the girl – the chances of a threesome with us and her were VERY high. He has NO idea for that matter, that I basically opened the girl for him (twice!) and then giftwrapped her and handed her over to him. Or that she liked me more than him. In his head he pulled a girl and took her home (and sure he did the escalation and the pull home by himself).

    You read a lot about BT spikes and “pulling time” and the last guy standing gets the girl and all that but it was v interesting staying out till the end of the night and actually seeing it for myself.

    I know I stepped back and let him have her – because I felt bad competing with my buddy for a girl – but just when it was too late and they were making out I changed my mind (it wasn’t too late in terms of her attraction but in terms of logistics and maintaining my relationship with my wing, it was). My wing does this a lot – not because he’s a dickhead but he is oblivious about wing rules and it doesn’t even enter his head what he’s doing (I’ve been out with him and another wing before and the other wing is a bit socially awkward and can’t really compete like I can and that guy has called him out on the same thing – plus he feels insecure about first-wing’s looks in a way that I don’t – and first-wing apologized profusely and said he wouldn’t do it again – only he did of course, because he’s oblivious).

    Anyway, I’m done with that. That’s why I was annoyed (not because I care that much about one girl). I’m not going to complain to him like a little bitch. I’m not going to actively screw up his sets or sabotage him (I’m not a dickhead either and he’s my buddy) but from next time he’s going to have some competition and he’s going to find I don’t actively step away and leave him an open field. I’m going to spike the girls too and we’ll see who holds their attention when I do that. If he complains to me I’ll point out his behaviour to him, and then he may start taking wing rules seriously (particularly the one about “he who opens the set, owns the set”).

    This reminds me so much of both YaReally and Scray posting separately about going out with Naturals and finding girls just gravitated to them until they actively stepped up and spiked the girls emotions and took over their RAS and then the Naturals (unused to competition) faded away.

    So then I was on my way home and got out of the Uber a few hundred yards away because I wanted to enjoy the night – still some people coming out of the bars near my place on the main street. I stopped at a shop window to look at something and then noticed a couple on a bench on the street right next to me – cute HB7 Asian, late 20s and a very nerdy looking early 30s white dude. (Enhanced perception: I could SEE they didn’t know each other well).

    They could see me too – i was only a few feet away and I could hear them (I then pretended to look at my phone and take a picture of the storefront for a couple of minutes and eavesdropped – there were enough people passing that it didn’t look weird). The guy was clearly streetgaming her (not sure how long they’d been chatting though) – first thing I heard was “Can I give you my number?” from the guy. She giggled but she agreed and they exchanged numbers. Then there was a couple of minutes of excruciatingly banal conversation from the guy – no emotional spikes nothing – he complimented her ring and asked how long she was staying in America to study English etc – just interview stuff.

    Then I moved off just as I heard their conversation ending. Guy went opposite direction but I could hear the woman behind me. I crossed the street, and she crossed right behind me, and both of us had to jog across and narrowly dodged a car..just as we reached the other side, I smiled at her and said “We’re safe now” and she blew open right away – giggled, and said yes, and we continued chatting for maybe 30 secs as we walked down the road, then I increased my pace and walked ahead of her and came to the small turnoff road where my apartment is – and I turned and she was right behind me (this is why I left her behind – just in case she was turning onto the same small street, I didn’t want her to think I was stalking her).

    Then I looked back and was like “Hey, stop stalking me!” and she giggled and joined me and I kept teasing her about whether she was going to mug me and whether she made a practice of going out late and mugging guys etc..she kept giggling and making EC and I kept teasing her saying she looks like a mugger etc. Then some basic comfort questions – exchanged names, shook hands, she asked me my job, I asked how she liked studying English etc – maybe 2-3 min walk to my building (she lives a few buildings further down). I said goodbye as I turned into my building’s courtyard and she walked a few steps ahead and then I literally thought “What would Sentient and HABD say if I don’t even TRY to close??”

    And then I just called out to her “Hey [pause as she stops], let’s meet for a drink sometime” (she’s about 10-15 feet away now) and she starts giggling more and I just pause and she stops and says “Yeah okay” (she has an accent and I need to speak slow but her English is decent). Then I walk back up to her and we exchange numbers and I ask if Monday works and she says it will work if she doesn’t have a class that evening and we say goodbye and I say “Right, give me a hug” and hold my arms open and wait expectantly and she falls into my frame and does so after a few beats to see if I was serious. Then she goes off giggling saying “Oh I live so nearby” and I’m calling after her “Yeah, but you know where I live now, I don’t know where you live, so I hope I’m safe from you” – more giggling.

    Look at it from her perspective – it must have been really funny/weird because I KNOW she saw me and overheard her giving her number to the nerdy dude and 3.5 mins later I’m hitting on her and getting her number.

    I did wonder how I could escalate it right then and there, but it was so late all the bars were closed so I literally couldn’t instadate her anywhere (I know one all night place but that’s like a 25 min walk or a short Uber ride away and I just didn’t see her agreeing to that at 3am). Obviously we both live right there, but I sensed it was too early to invite her right in..hm.

    Maybe I could have invited her to walk around for 10 minutes and then tried to get her into my place after building some comfort? It wasn’t that cold out. But that didn’t occur to me on the spot.

    Overall, great night. Learnt a lot and enjoyed myself – I love the Game and being out. Only real regret is not opening more but I’m thrilled I opened AND closed the Asian HB7. I don’t blame myself for the tug-of-war with my wing – I consciously decided to let him have the girl, and only changed my mind later.

  13. @Safespace – I gottta go now so only scanned your LR but congratulations! Major props for getting that monkey off your back. That’ll do amazing things for your confidence and subcomms so the future’s bright 🙂

  14. FR Sat. Night

    I’m trying to figure out what was going on.

    I went to one country bar about 8 P.M. I saw a buddy and was sitting with him. I got up to dance a few times. One time it was a line dance. About 8:30. I almost ran into some random girls walking across the floor. I was barely able to stop. I smiled at them, then turned away, continuing to dance. One of them started to support my back, then briefly felt my butt. It happened so fast and I was trying to figure out what was going on…was it an accident or deliberate? The collision seemed strange…the girls could easily have avoided me…were they drunk? It was early to be hammered and they weren’t tipsy. Did the girls engineer the near collision?

    I mentioned to my buddy about one of the girls feeling my butt and how disrespectful girls are and he gave me shit for it and told me to fuck off, saying that I thought I was God’s gift to women. I told him that I didn’t think that way and he didn’t believe me. That week he had told some broad he has liked for a long time how he felt about her and maybe this was feeding into his reaction to what I said. Weird. He seemed insecure all of a sudden and hadn’t seemed that way before.

    So I went to another bar. A guy I knew invited me to join him and his gf at his table. His gf was flipping her hair. The gf asked where I lived to check out logistics. She lived not too far. The gf came over to my side of the table to show me pics of her in a bikini on a recent trip with her bf and pics of her kids. I asked how they met and how long they had been together. 6 years. Uh oh. Approaching the 7 year mark. She leaned over into me and made contact with her leg against mine. All plausibly deniable. The bf seemed cool with all this and bought me a beer. Finally, the gf pulled me onto the dance floor and danced cuddly with me. What was going on? Were they trying to set up a threesome? I was uncomfortable with what the gf was doing with her bf close by. Should I have offered to buy the bf a beer?

  15. @Safespace

    Now you must change your name to UnSafePlayer…..

    LOL! Good Job!

    Welcome to Manhood.

    A casual reading of your LR would indicate that you actually followed Mystery Method quite well. In three coordinated stages. Over time.

    I hate to be so pedantic, but the process is a repeatable process. Attraction, comfort, seduction.

    I’m no PUA, but feel like pointing out a few things. (That’s what field and lay reports are for.)

    Notice how you were distracted by the “Are you Irish?” gambit at the beginning of the night? Distraction is a key tactic in facing a painful stimulus. (your painful stimulus being approach).
    Here’s an example. Say in a medical office the doctor has to give a painful shot to a 9 year old. If the brain is distracted, that is a workaround to the cognitively frightening stimulus. The child is presented with some cartoon cards in front of his and asked to answer a question (“how many monkeys are holding a red balloon?”) a vibrating colorfull buzzy bee device is placed proximal to the shot placement and the shoulder as well as a small ice pack. Three distractions and the child barely remembers the shot.

    Distraction from a painful stimulus is a work-around.

    The Angry girl was just shit testing or had super high bitch shields. Normal operating procedure.

    And with Tinder girl, you venue changed and just roamed without thinking. You got out of your head as much as you possibly could. Good job on that. You acted.

    And notice how you were not in control of the situation the whole damn time. (Even though you thought you were at the time because you were following the exact template and script of Mystery Method and actually the same template that Cassanova used in the mid 1800’s).

    You have to be comfortable with that lack of control in the “process”. As you practice Game in the future, you have to make that un-comfortable-ness and lack of control of the process your friend and embrace him.

    “Now the question becomes how to maintain Tinder girl’s interest if possible.”

    You know the answer to that. Abstractly, You get out of your head and spin other plates. Go back and read Rollo’s six essays on Plate Theory carefully (In year one Essays) because it is critical to your ongoing sexual strategy.

    https://therationalmale.com/the-best-of-rational-male-year-one/

  16. Congrats, @Safespace. Tinder is a Godsend for lots of guys. It’s how all my friends get laid.

    Anyway, Ventured out to London last night. Had high hopes, but it was an awful night in terms of ‘game’.

    Not much of a Field Report to post really, unfortunately, since there’s just not much to mention in terms of the interactions.

    I opened a Canadian girl in a bar for my first approach with an opener about her checking her tinder when she was engrossed in her phone. I tried teasing her and stuff but she told me pretty quickly that she had a fiance.

    I opened another girl in a club who also turned out to be Canadian. She had one friend with her who was busy hooking up with some random guy next to her. I tried gaming her, ‘making assumptions’, asking her questions, etc, but she was just not really responsive. Fairly cold towards me. She didn’t leave me, but I think that’s just because she couldn’t really since her friend was busy getting dry-humped so after I ran out of material I bailed on her.

    I opened a girl on a Hen night. Asked her which of her friends were getting married. She pointed at her friend, but I couldn’t get her to talk to me, really. I made assumptions’ about her and stuff, but she didn’t bite at all. Was mildly awkward
    I opened a couple of older women who were some what responsive and started asking ME questions and stuff, but I didn’t actually even find them attractive. I just wanted to keep the momentum going.

    I got one of my harshest ever dancefloor rejections too, lol. Some girl in a group kept kind of half grinding against me. Not full on grinding, but dancing super close to me despite there being space on teh dancefloor. I kind of put my hand on her hip and then she spun around, slapped my hand as hard as she could, and then pushed me with all her force! I didn’t really care but for the fact that my friends all saw and laughed, lol!

    Sight seeing:

    I did see some of the prettiest girls i’ve ever seen last night, though! When I first got there, there was a group of Russian girls. They looked about 17-18, and they were all 10’s. All with their young boyfriends.

    I saw a barman who probably gets laid every night running his game which was fun to watch. Looked like he had a system/routine for banging tourists in his bar! He jumped into their photo when they were taking one, told his bar staff to ‘cover him’ (they looked at him like he does this every night) and then he jumped over teh bar and started chatting the girl up and kinoing her, and then got her a free drink. I wish I could have evesdropped in on his conversation to learn what he says/talks about.

    I also saw a blonde STUNNER who I keep thinking about in the club.She was part of the hen night group I mentioned before I think. She had on like a sports bra and looked like a model. Gorgeous face/eyes/teeth. Young too. Some guy was all over her. I thought he’d ruined it for himself since he was so KEEN/needy? She pulled away first on every kiss. Every time he went straight back in, hands all over her. Just seemed super try hard. When I do that teh girls tend to lose interest, so I thought he’d ruined it, but then I saw him grab her hand and march her off somewhere. Player!! Probably banged her in the tiolets or something. I don’t imagine she would have left her friends for the night since they were on a hen night, but who knows…

    Overall a very bad night. Woke up this morning just feeling depressed, lol. Mixture of lack of hope, confusion, frustration and jealousy!

    Hopefully better luck next time

  17. Safespace

    “Any way, i lost my virginity on Saint Patricks day, which is great.”

    This morning I woke up and felt like a boss.

    Nice job Safe… Congrats and welcome. Great story and great example of determination, doing the Hard Work and leading the interaction. Naked in the rain getting condoms LOL.

    Now get off porn for good and go forth and slay.

  18. Culum

    I was wondering a little bit if she was really interested in him and pretending to be interested in me with the above IOIs as a kind of beta bait/jealousy plotline thing with my wing..but I’m pretty sure it’s not that.

    It was the opposite… duh…

    look here how it worked!

    I felt bad competing with my buddy for a girl – but just when it was too late and they were making out I changed my mind

    lol

  19. Culum

    so I literally couldn’t instadate her anywhere

    Like your apartment you were in front of?

  20. I grabbed her but she was so drunk and so hyperstimulated it was v difficult to hold on to her – like she could barely have a conversation of a word or more- constantly moving. Not sure what I could have done..

    This one you decide to pull right then and there “let’s go” or not. Have to go all in right there with this or you will never get her to settle down.

  21. @TheASDgamer
    March 19, 2017 at 5:51 am

    LOL. What the hell is going on here?

    You are way overthinking this whole last night to the point that you aren’t keeping your own mental point of origin and Frame and you are sabotaging your enlightened Game self interests.

    First off, what are your goals on nights like last night? DHV?, social proof?, pre-selection?, just having fun?, enjoying good dancing?, catch-and-release?, getting laid?

    One of them started to support my back, then briefly felt my butt. It happened so fast and I was trying to figure out what was going on…was it an accident or deliberate?

    Who cares? She kino’ed you. What’s the problem?

    It was early to be hammered and they weren’t tipsy. Did the girls engineer the near collision?

    Who cares? What exactly is the problem with being near-collided with? Accept the near collision with grace. Some guys would pay extra to have girls collide with them.

    I mentioned to my buddy about one of the girls feeling my butt and how disrespectful girls are and he gave me shit for it and told me to fuck off, saying that I thought I was God’s gift to women.

    Who cares about his Frame? What about your Frame? What is wrong with the girls feeling your butt and is it really that disrespectful? Was it sexual intent? Was it social proof and pre-selection of your known DHV on the dance floor?

    I told him that I didn’t think that way and he didn’t believe me.

    What do you care what he thinks about you?

    Finally, the gf pulled me onto the dance floor and danced cuddly with me. What was going on?

    She was having fun. Enjoying the dance party. Flowing with her emotions. She felt like dancing cuddly with a good dancer. What’s the problem?

    Were they trying to set up a threesome?

    Who cares? Whose Frame are you in? Theirs or yours?

    I was uncomfortable with what the gf was doing with her bf close by.

    Why? You’re more concerned with their narrative than yours? What about you having fun? What if they were to tell you that you were adding value to their night out? What’s wrong with you being fun and adding value to them?

    Should I have offered to buy the bf a beer?

    What about your Frame? Why would you lean into his Frame? What about giving him a compliance test?: “You’re wife is delightful. Go get me a club soda with lime while I dance another dance with her. I like you guys…..you’re fun and you are just having fun.”

  22. @UnsafePlayer

    Just a little backtracking on my comment about Distraction. That is a short term workaround only in the early stages of mastery when getting through the stages. (Unconscious Incompetence>Conscious Incompetence>Conscious Competence>Unconscious Competence.)

    Obviously when you get to be more competent you won’t need that as you get “in the zone” of a performance that is congruent and authentic with your better abilities.

    Secondly, you might want to read Chapter 8 of Robert Glover’s ‘No More Mr. Nice Guy’ (titled Get The Sex You Want: Success Strategies For Satisfying Sex) in regards to how you will have some psychological hurdles to overcome as your Game develops. It describes how to overcome or avoid some common pitfalls. At least be aware of these hang-ups he describes.

  23. @SJF

    This wasn’t about my MPO, but about understanding the consequences of my actions/non-actions and understanding other people…it’s about being a good courtier, which is important even if my MPO is myself. It’s about social awareness and understanding, which alphas need.

    I got the answers to my questions with some thought.

    1) Don’t provoke envy by what seems to be bragging about women. Don’t talk about fun & cool things that women do. Not even with naturals. They can get envious, too.

    2) Women flirt with fun & cool guys and it’s expected by other fun & cool guys to whom they belong. Liz’s social circle is a perfect example of that where the girls who belong to fun & cool guys play grabass with other fun & cool guys in her social circle. Liz would like to have permission to play grabass with fun & cool guys in her social circle, but Mike won’t allow it. Mike gets to do it, tho, lol. This situation can get toxic as soon as any fun & cool guy becomes insecure, so be aware.

  24. @SJF

    Do you have any actionable stuff about dealing with the Superego? Knowing that alphas aren’t limited by the superego is all very interesting, but not really helpful.

  25. @ASDGamer

    No, I really don’t have actionable advice on SuperEgo. That reasons for that are two-fold. One, I never had any problems not having a well balanced SuperEgo. Never had cognitive dissonance about my actions and never had to really work on it. That’s not to say that I never had a strong SuperEgo working on me. I did. But I had a super enjoyable Catholic upbringing and well balanced parents with high self esteem, that basically never helicoptered me. I found my own way with great SuperEgo role models and it never disappointed me.

    Two, this resulted in me being a Natural at not letting my SuperEgo second guessing who I was and where I wanted to go. I rarely fucked up things in my life because my SuperEgo rarely failed to warn me about what not to do.

    Funnily, later on in life I developed some Walter White (from Breaking Bad, a fellow INTJ.) tendencies, just to see what it felt like. (It felt good to me.) So that second thought about being Natural at having a good SuperEgo, combined with my lack of ability to express myself well in speech or writing (not lying about that, if I could only get out more that 20% of what I really have bottled up inside this inscrutable mastermind of mine, I could actually be dangerous.)

    That being said, it is interesting you bring up SuperEgo in Red Pill discussions because of the fact that Red Pill thoughts and Game are frequently referred to as being Amoral. And as such, that–listening to the SuperEgo, that little guy on your shoulder) might at times preclude a male from employing his sexual strategy to full agency. (That’s not to say that Amorality is a virtue or that Morality should be overlooked. A lot of us OMG’s believe in a lot of Morality as it relates to Game. In fact a paradoxical example of this would be the conundrum over offering up Dread in MRP Game, another thing I don’t find to be cognitively dissonant.)

    I think the bigger problem in Red Pill and Game and masculine self improvement and moving toward Alpha in these discussions is the problem of actionable advice for Ego rather than SuperEgo.

    For that, there is this good Machiavellian essay:

    https://illimitablemen.com/2016/07/17/how-to-use-your-ego/

    In regards to actionable advice, the problem comes up as how to write a prescription for another man or groups of men in order to utilize their SuperEgo to their best enlightened feelings. I know that that is sometimes a problem. Sometimes, this non-actionable commenting comes from knowing the feeling and having gone through it in the past. (e.g. not letting SuperEgo trip you up in intersexual game.) I have to admit, I know the feeling of a healthy SuperEgo in regards to Game, but I don’t have a feeling for a “problem” SuperEgo in this regard.

    I see where you are going at 2:42 above and understand your thoughts. I would re-iterate, though, that you might want to define what your goals are in Game. What do you want to accomplish? I’m out in the open with my MRP game as being monogamous. But my SuperEgo doesn’t preclude me from changing my mind at any time. I don’t feel guilty when I say no or yes to things.

    That perhaps goes back to Assertiveness and Manuel Smith’s WISNIFG book:

    YOUR BILL OF ASSERTIVE RIGHTS

    1. You have the right to judge your own behaviors, thoughts and emotions, and to take
    responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon yourself.
    2. You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses for justifying your behavior.
    3. You have the right to judge if you are responsible for finding solutions to other
    people’s problems.
    4. You have the right to change your mind.
    5. You have the right to make mistakes and be responsible for them.
    6. You have the right to say “I don’t know.”
    7. You have the right to be independent of the goodwill of others before coping with
    them.
    8. You have the right to be illogical in making decisions.
    9. You have the right to say “I don’t understand.”
    10. You have the right to say “I don’t care.”
    11. You have the right to say “no.”
    12. You have the right to do less then you are humanly capable of doing.
    13. You have the right to take the time you need to respond.
    14. You have the right to disagree with others regardless of their position or numbers.
    15. You have the right to feel all of your emotions (including anger) and express them
    appropriately.
    16. You have the right to ask questions.
    17. You have the right to be treated with respect.
    18. You have the right to ask for what you want.
    19. You have the right to feel good about yourself, your actions and your life.
    20. You have the right to exercise any and all of the these rights, without feeling guilty.

    In regards to your awareness of your point #2 in regards to Liz-Anons situ, there is still the social calibration of married couples out socializing in order to have a balance with inside-the-house LTR personal relationships.

    This quote from the very ending of Practical Female Psychology book by Joseph W. South and Franco which you have seen many times before is apropos in this regard:

    Quote:

    “Maintaining an appropriate level of attraction within the relationship is important. Some of the ways in which the authors of this book maintain attraction with our mates are:

    • Regular, social interaction with men who are attractive to women. Uncalibrated and unattractive men induce the risk of socially awkward situations and won’t help you to mature into a more attractive man.

    • Clear demonstration of physical leadership in our daily lives. We are each living our lives in a manner congruent with our beliefs, with gusto and without apology.

    • Regular, social interaction with other attractive females. Women are social creatures, and will derive emotional satisfaction from being with a man capable of being with a variety of women.

    Normal, social interactions with attractive women are critical for several reasons. Within the hothouse of a relationship, interactions between men and women can assume bizarre and ultimately unhealthy forms without socially calibrating experiences with normal, healthy women outside the relationship. Direct, personal feedback from women allows us to calibrate our behavior within the relationship. When we are passing tests thrown by women outside the relationship, we have a baseline for our own behavior inside the relationship. For those of you who enjoy jealous women (we do not), this could inspire a certain amount of jealously, which also increases attraction, so calibrate accordingly.

    Men, note well: encourage your woman to maintain normal, regular social interaction with males of her acquaintance. If you are the man of her dreams, her Prince, you have nothing to fear.”

  26. @SJF

    Last night was interesting and I learned useful stuff, but I didn’t accomplish all that I set out to do. I call it a tactical victory.

    Yeah, I figured that you were a natural at dealing with the superego…autists typically have problems dealing with the superego. I overcame it just because a girl I wanted was very hot. Girls are into me all the time but pulling the trigger is a problem for me. There was one smoking hot girl that I could have banged a few years ago…I was in auto mating mode and dialed it back when I saw what I was doing.

  27. “Last night was interesting and I learned useful stuff, but I didn’t accomplish all that I set out to do.”

    Yeah, you have to work on replacing that SuperEgo with an Autonomous Ego.

    http://www.mind-development.eu/ego-autonomy.html

    The Ego can only become truly Autonomous by overcoming the Superego. The Autonomous Ego, by and large, is free from the dictates of the Id and has outgrown the Superego. The Ego understands and integrates the energetic drives of the Id and sublimates them toward loving sexuality and creative activity. The Autonomous Ego creates his or her own moral code and relies on his or her own sense of right and wrong, based on rational and objective analysis. This is an Independent Mind.

    Both Ego strength and independence from the Superego are essential for an individual to be truly creative, outside of the box of his upbringing and parental and peer standards. The Superego stands in the way of major creativity by suppressing any thought or feeling that is too unconventional or that may be subject to external criticism, so it routinely censors anything truly creative. Freedom from the Superego is a necessary prerequisite, but creativity outside the boundaries of the ordinary also requires sufficient intelligence applied to an appropriate, wide-ranging database.

    Your SuperEgo is making you too judgmental about others and about yourself (as witnessed by your field report). I would hazard a guess that you are not as autistic as you proclaim, but that you also want to hold on to your SuperEgo moralizing and its calls for perfection as if your life depended on it, because it is your comfort zone, rather than be thrown into the discomfort that is uncertainty. Your SuperEgo is on steroids and it is shooting beyond it’s purpose. Esp. with Red Pill Awareness and Game. It’s time to give more credits to your Ego and let him Roam. Perhaps this is because you are stuffing your emotions into a box (autism wise) instead of letting them roam.

    I take it you want to overcome that SuperEgo really bad in order to meet your further objectives. I.e., your SuperEgo is holding back your Game goals. You’re conflicted.

    Well at least being Aware of the fact that your SuperEgo is tied to ethical conduct and moral decisions that you incorporated before Red Pill. What about after Red Pill? How do you bust out?

    http://presidiosentinel.com/life-style/the-super-ego-an-ego-on-steroids

    With an “overactive” super-ego we might also start to look for what´s right or wrong in other people. That leaves little room for interacting and showing who we are or getting to know the other person. I am referring to little things, as opposed to the common agreement not to hurt other people. If our thoughts are busy with judgments, not much new can unfold or happen. We keep having the same feelings and experiences.

    In adulthood we can take a good look at our own and unique super-ego. Are we overly critical of ourselves and others? Do we quickly feel guilty when our own plans clash with what other people want from us? Chances are that if you read this column, your tendency is more towards being conscientious. After all, my readers tend to be interested in personal growth and a good life and co-existence with others. Therefore, I would like to gear the questions towards what sentences are still ringing in your ears from your childhood.

    I’m hearing Red Pill amorality backwash in your throat.

  28. Sentient – hahaha, yeah it did occur to me that I was the target of the jealousy plotline..oh well, that’s an ego boost in itself!

    As for pulling the Asian girl..it did occur to me to take her to my place, but it was under 3 mins of conversation at 3am on a dark street..I just thought it was too much of a push. If it had been half an hour earlier and a couple of bars were open for the last half hour, I’d have tried that. Even if not, if it had been like the afternoon with people around I may have tried the pull to my place..but I just felt it was too much. I know I had attraction but I hadn’t sexualized it at all, and there was zero comfort..

  29. @SJF

    Autists are unusually sensitive to sensory stimuli. I suspect that we’re also unusually sensitive to internal stimuli, including from the superego.

    We have low levels of the “comfort” neurotransmitters like oxytocin, which likely explains our lack of social awareness.

    Otoh, we do various kinds of stimming to increase our comfort neurotransmitters, especially when we are stressed.

    High functioning autists develop strategies to compensate for our high sensitivity to sensory stimuli. Basically, sensory stimuli batter and bruise our ego, as does the superego, so we try to avoid relying on the ego. It’s not easy for autists to just play. Socially, I do best in a low-stimuli environment where I don’t have to interact with a lot of people.

    If I’m correct about the superego, then perhaps one strategy to reduce its influence is to do some stimming when I feel its influence on my behavior. Since dancing increases oxytocin levels, I need more dancing. However, the music has been unusually loud lately and that environment increases stress for me. Also, trying to prevent collisions with partners on the dance floor and partners cuddling while dancing increases stress, at least at first, because of the intense, unexpected stimuli when I don’t know the person.

    The difficulty of autists is often greatly underestimated–even those of us who are very high functioning.

  30. @SJF

    Your strategies assume that the gamer is a neurotypical. You lack empathy for autists (of course, since you are neurotypical), so you have to rely upon reason and understanding instead of on feeling if you are going to give advice to autists.

    My superego can be defeated by the id, but that’s probably not a very effective strategy to employ. Maybe I can find ways of stimming to increase comfort neurotransmitters to lessen the impact of the superego. Listening to music I like helps a lot when I’m at home. Ear plugs might help with noise in clubs, but they would look weird. I’ll be thinking about this.

  31. “You lack empathy for autists (of course, since you are neurotypical), so you have to rely upon reason and understanding instead of on feeling if you are going to give advice to autists.”

    Like I’ve said a bunch of times, I’m the least empathetic person I know and my alleged neurotypical pathology (non-pathology) was cultivated by me. It’s intentional on my part and a superpower for INTJ’s. (Shit, did you ever read Ayn Rand?) See I don’t even have empathy for myself, cause I dont’ need it. Don’t you try to bleed empathy to make up for your not having that real hard-wiring.

    I get the over-stimulation thing. It’s an INTJ non-virtue and I can relate to the feeling. (shit I can empathize).

    I do think, though, in some respects you are trying to fight your SuperEgo. Your mom and dad, your religion and your SuperEgo are sitting on your shoulder holding you back from your cognitive Ego self. Use your brain man. Cock-block your SuperEgo. Tell him hes not so self important.

    I’m not saying what course you should take. I’m just saying this SuperEgo fail in Game is a Buffer. It is an inhibitor to take action. Whatever action that is is your Ego and Id’s call.

    And don’t take this as a failure of communication. I fully understand what I am implying. With the understanding that I am on board with my monogamy, while going against the tide of Red Pill mainstream. The Red Pill Mainstream would have you self validate to them as a non-monogamist. It’s your call. And I and we commenters are, or should be, non-judgmental. It’s up to you to to not let your SuperEgo judge. You are a smart guy and your Ego and your Id deserve to be more prominent. Your EGO is actually a cool dude that you should respect more than your SuperEgo. (In fact, I am eminently impressed by your ego as a commenter here.)

    We all know what is going on here. (Hint: you didn’t lay out what your goals were but we all know what you want them to be.)

  32. Culum

    You don’t have to work for it. You can accept it. This is where knowledge of game holds you back. What would a natural have done with that girl at 3 am in front of his apartment, unencumbered by sequencing algorithms?

    “I’m thirsty.” Hand out. “come in for a minute and have a drink”.

    She takes the hand and you know all you need to know. She knows what’s up.

    Refer to my stripper FR. Same deal. Open arms, she comes in for a hug. Take hand and lead off to room. Done.

    Accept that you are a sexy beast and don’t let the thrill of a number get between you and PiV. Make the mindset shift.

    Like you had fun analyzing the 7 set above… But your wing went in amd took the pussy. Unencumbered with game protocols.

    You got this.

    Then your FR would read “met this asian girl on the street at 3am and in 3 minutes had her up in my room”. How much cooler would that be right?

  33. @ Safespace

    Wow. Great job. Wash, rinse, repeat.

    I gave up porn, masturbation long ago. Your sexual aggression level will spike tremendously, women sense this, in your walk and talk. Con: At first aggression can be wayward. unpredictable, in metering out. Imagine your sexual frustration two weeks back WITHOUT tossing off. Oh, in my BP workplace I gotta watch my mouth too. Pro: Easier to jump right to the sexual innuendo in conversations, lazing, kinoing, tearing panties off…no joke.

    My favorite line this weekend: “You pull off those heels and jeans well, honey. BTW I pull off your heels and jeans well too.”

    High five, Safespace.

  34. @safespace

    great job on punching your v card… see, not so hard right?… here’s the key point…

    Oddly though, my heart wasn’t really racing and i wasn’t really nervous. Matter of fact, this entire time with this girl I felt really in charge and sure of myself.

    she feels what you feel…

    follow up with tinder girl… do some aftercare so she doesn’t start to feel like she wasn’t really into it… (see YaReally’s archive for ideas/theories, but meeting for coffee is always good)… and have your logistics sorted, so you can bounce her home again… but get that case of condoms and stash under the bed…lol…

    Between these 15 or so sets I experienced, there was one really weird set – the first i’ve experienced like this – where the girl was actually very mean. I went up to her and said, “are you Irish?” At first she didn’t seem very mean – she appeared very playful and cool. But at one point she just got really angry. I put my hand on her shoulder and she said, “get your hand off of me right now!”. Jesus. I didn’t really know what to say. i was in a pretty self-amused state. I quickly figured this girl was having a bad night, was upset about something. Maybe i was doing too much push, not enough pull. idk. But regardless, she got mad so I said to her friend “she’s a really hard book to read,” since I really had no idea she was upset until 2 minutes into the conversation, then I said goodbye and left. This set was very interesting. It kind of toughened my mind up since it was the first where the woman was actively bitchy and was actively trying to make me feel like shit lol.

    she was just DTF… but only with an alpha stud…who could handle her shit tests/bitch shield… and after you opened her, she quickly figured out that that wasn’t you (yet…lol)… bc you couldn’t handle her being ‘mean’… and so she needed to get rid of you asap, so she had a better chance of getting that itch scratched…

    good luck!
    ————-
    @Culum

    Similarly – before HABD says it – this is classic threesome territory.

    mostly i think of ‘threesome’ as two GIRLS… but hey, i don’t judge…lol…

    My wing does this a lot – not because he’s a dickhead but he is oblivious about wing rules and it doesn’t even enter his head what he’s doing

    how’s that FI treating you?…lol…

    bc you obviously feel less entitled to the girls than him… could you feel the FI’s hand on your shoulder when you made the choice/excused his behavior?…

    bc that just takes ONE conversation to change that…lol… oh, wait! you already had that…lol…

    I’m not going to complain to him like a little bitch.

    it’s not being a little bitch… it’s standing up for yourself… try to really feeel that FI hand on your shoulder… and if he really is your buddy, he’ll respect those wing rules… bc ultimately those rules get BOTH of you more pussy… that’s WHY those rules exist… and IF he is going to be a good wing, he needs to respect you enough to follow those rules… UNLESS you both have a clear understanding that you can compete for any girl in any set… BEFORE you sarge… anything less is just disrespecting you…

    Look at it from her perspective – it must have been really funny/weird because I KNOW she saw me and overheard her giving her number to the nerdy dude and 3.5 mins later I’m hitting on her and getting her number.

    that’s not funny/weird… that’s ALPHA… lol… and what girl doesn’t want an alpha stud?…lol…

    I did wonder how I could escalate it right then and there, but it was so late all the bars were closed so I literally couldn’t instadate her anywhere (I know one all night place but that’s like a 25 min walk or a short Uber ride away and I just didn’t see her agreeing to that at 3am). Obviously we both live right there, but I sensed it was too early to invite her right in..hm.

    do i really have to say it again?…lol

    you never know until you try… she could always say yes…lol… (and do i really need to point out ALL the IOIs… at least you should have kissed her…lol… maybe YOU should go back and look for those IOIs…)

    and her saying yes was actually a LIKELY result… a girl out late… ALONE… avoiding going home with a chode… follows you (you know ‘leading’ is good right?…lol)… blows right open when you open her… JOINS you… continues to engage you… and put herself into a situ where it could ‘just happen’…etc… = DTF…

    i surprised you didn’t notice THAT… you know, what with your ‘enhanced perception’ and all…lol…

    I know I had attraction but I hadn’t sexualized it at all, and there was zero comfort..

    you know all you need to get a bang is ATTRACTION, right?…lol… and you didn’t need to ‘sexualize’… the situ was already sexualized by your ‘isolation’ with her… AND the fact that she was still engaging you… at 3AM!!… lol… all that comfort stuff is just to avoid ASD/LMR/FRA… and can be added in later… via egg mcmuffin breakfast…lol…

    good luck!
    ——–
    @Sentient Culum

    Then your FR would read “met this asian girl on the street at 3am and in 3 minutes had her up in my room”. How much cooler would that be right?

    SOMEBODY has been paying attention…lol

    good luck!

  35. you know all you need to get a bang is ATTRACTION, right?

    HABD Culum

    This. This is why SNL game is so great Culum, because you are amping capital A attraction through the roof… the sexualizing is in just recognizing that you both know what is going on “behind the eyes” and the comfort is just being cool with steering the logistics and leading. That is the comfort…

    Going into deep rapport is a backwards step in this context… not what Sex Gods do… and you are a Sex God right Culum?

  36. “she was just DTF… but only with an alpha stud…who could handle her shit tests/bitch shield…”

    Not being a PUA, but I’ve been chatting all types of young women for shits, practice, fun for months, well maybe my whole life. Dozy conversations then turn them quickly sexual, straight up “You’re hot” conversations, round about conversations.

    I had a rather homely girl, and only that one girl, in all these months, blow me out, just go snap angry. Wow! I quickly turned my attention to her girlfriend nearby, as homely or less so, and she was receptive….at least not go immediately nuclear. I think she pulled the same “Get out of my SafeZone!” test.

    I remember it clearly as it was odd, she was odd.

    The woman, that precipitously angry, is perhaps LSE/LD. She’s dangerous/man hater/depressed.

    I do get your point, tho.

  37. This Field Report is something when I was just vibing and not aggressively pursuing the bang.

    Meet HB8 27 at Latin dance party. She’s visiting from another city, alone. I open her, standard game: neg, tease, qualify, comfort, number close.

    She texts me in the party; “Hi”. I text back “Hey! Long time no see, what you up to tonite?”

    Before I leave, I just don’t feel like inviting her out. In fact I’m just feeling down overall but pumping up my state. I go over and say “I’d ask you out for a drink but gotta work tomorrow, but let’s meet for drinks tomorrow.” She’s getting the details: “So you’ll send me the address???” I set it up.

    Next day it’s a casual dinner at a cool place. I’m vibing, she’s lapping it up. I tease, she’s loving it. She has to be the classiest woman I’ve met in ages. I kino escalate, I sexualize. In response to “Tell me something I’d never guess about you…” She tells me she’s married. The ONLY acknowledgement is “You look too happy….” she laughs.

    That…was a turn off. I could have banged her….she wanted to go to some cozy place for more wines. But I’m still pissed off at a friend of mine for trying to bang one of my plates. It’s been weighing on me for a few weeks. So it suddenly doesn’t become important to bang her. But I’m really enjoying hanging out with her.

    I suggest another night of Latin dance. We show up. The place is humming. As an added bonus, the plate who I dumped 2 months prior for “dating” my friends is there.

    Imagine the social proof you get walking in with the hottest girl there….and not giving a fuck.

    She’s laughing at everything I say…we’re dancing and she is an excellent dancer. Guys are coming over asking me if they can dance with her.

    There’s only one other hot girl in the place and she’s an HB 10….with another guy but she invites me to dance. Eveyone’s watching me including mine.

    The party ends. Ex plate looks defeated and leaves. Me and HB8 leave.

    Now here’s the lesson. I suggest her coming over….she doesn’t say no. But then I think….nah……The married thing just gets to me. So I walk her to the taxi. I go to kiss her, she does the customary head turn but I pull her in close and tell her we’re meeting the next night when I’m hosting a party. She teases “We’ll see…” I give her a stern look…she later texts to thank me.

    Next night she shows up. I’m again vibing….light and easy, teasing….other girls are hanging around me….HB8 and I dance….later I ask her to wait for me while I clean up. But she leaves without saying bye.

    Here are some lessons: 1) Girls who are into you ….make it easier for you to escalate…easier but not always obvious. I could have bounced and she would have been into it….I felt like dancing so didn’t.

    2) It’s up to you….when she told me she was married…I must have given off a vibe of pulling back….she kept her energy up

    3) Girls who don’t say “no” mean escalate—-I could have pulled her home…but was tired and just didn’t feel like it.

    4) It’s all about YOU….i’m having a blast….everyone in that club saw us and figured I was banging her….the massive social proof I got was amazing. Dudes were hovering around….guys giving me massive social proof coming by to say hi…..girls saw us and the HB 10 invited me.

    The other major IOI—she correctly guessed I had a previous girlfriend from her country. “You must have had a girlfriend from xxxx” I laughed, that was my opp for a DHV…

    The quite confidence I exuded was “natural” although I could feel when I “should” have escalated….it was a choice I made.

    For you guys struggling about “when do I escalate???” “How do I initiate kino?????’ “How do I sexualize????” It’s really all about injecting this seamlessly and not caring how it sounds.

    I didn’t text her after because 1) she left without saying bye—a sign I took of her being conflicted. I was eye fucking her all night and had stopped talking and was basically just playing cool 2) I want HER to reach out to me when her hamster reaches the point where her curiousity prompts her to proactively make the move.

    Finally, for those of you guys hurting, or wondering about some girl who did you wrong….don’t take action. I had no idea the ex plate would be out because she usually doesn’t come out to that place. The shock value made not escalating worth it.

    Finally….another girl at the party I was hosting was orbiting me—-I had an “orbiter”….she was HB7….not sure the age because she looked good. Next day she added me on FB and started liking all my posts and photos.

    Something about that not giving a fuck vibe that is hard to manufacture….you just have to dial it down and have a great time while at the same time being conscious of gaming….Make sense?

    You have to not care while at the same time be 100% conscious that you are gaming and at what stage in MM you’re at.

  38. HABD, Sentient – I understand. I should have tried to pull the Asian chick for the same reason I (eventually) decided to go for number-closing her instead of just dismissing it as not feasible.

    As for the club thing and my wing. I agree – I can’t keep letting him do it. I just don’t think having another conversation with him is the way forward – we’ve already seen that doesn’t work when the other wing tried it a couple of months ago.

    I just need to step up and compete and go for the girls and if HE brings it up again, we can talk about it (provided we don’t get up in a silly battle for any girl which will only result in both of us losing her – I need to do it in a smooth, socially congruent way and early enough in an interaction). My reading is that just me bringing it up again next time I see him reeks of butthurt..he needs to feel a little social pressure and feel what it’s like to compete and lose the battle for a girl’s attention (and he *will* lose if he’s competing with me) to “get” it. And we can have a productive conversation about wing rules after that. He’s a good guy and I like going out with him – I just need to get the point across in a way that sticks.

    I was thinking some more about the jealousy plotline thing the girl ran on us though. I know the tactic of course, but until it was run on me I did not appreciate how powerful those emotions are. I’m a very level headed man in general and I’m still thinking about it days later. Not because I really care about that girl but because that emotion is so powerful – that feeling of “WTF? She’s MINE” coupled with the irritation with my wing (not irritation because he took the girl – I stepped back voluntarily – but irritation that he didn’t recognize or appreciate my sacrifice or how I set the play up for him). If it affects me so much when sober, just how much will a jealousy plotline impact some 23 year old chick whose emotions are way less controlled, particularly after a few drinks?

    It reminds me of that nightgame street set I had a few months ago – with one married HB6 massively into me and her HB7 friend going crazy and borderline abusive to get her away from me, and Sentient was pointing out that that was basically a jealousy plotline with the HB7 resenting that I’d gone for her friend and not her because she’d be used to getting the guys (although if I remember rightly YaReally disagreed with that interpretation and thought it was more likely she was cockblocking because the HB6 was married and she was mother-hen protecting her).

    Anyway, it’s time to take serious Action this Blitz. I’m completing HABD’s 400-approach weekend challenge this weekend. I’m accountable to you guys – it’s happening. I *have* taken action and had results, but the time for half-assing action is over. I’m sick of it. If I need to treat this as a job and prioritize it to get it done I will.

    And the thing with the 400 Challenge is that it’s entirely in my control. I can’t control what kind of results I’ll have in terms of numbers, makeouts, lays..but going up and approaching 400 chicks is ENTIRELY in my control, so it’s happening. 400 opens from Friday through Monday (well, I may start the counter ticking on Thursday – I have a networking event but may go out after that).

    The only exception to getting the 15 opens per hour rate/400 target is just getting into set longer with a girl (so if I open 10 girls in the club and 3 of them end up being longer conversations of 30+ mins each, then obviously I won’t be able to hit my target – but that’s in a good cause).

    The idea of mass opening at that rate makes me nervous even thinking about it – and the idea of doing it partly in daygame is even worse (in a way escalation/sexualizing simply doesn’t make me nervous), but that’s why I need to do it.

    Walawala – great FR. It’s good to have that sense of being in your frame and deciding not to do something – sleep with her, escalate, whatever. Not because you’re *scared* or nervous of it.

    PS – LOL at Sentient’s GIF. I’m a big fan of Supernatural, and it seems like much of Game progress is going from identifying with Sam to identifying with Dean..

  39. @Culum. one more note to my field report. The whole idea of this woman being married was a turn off…can’t explain, just was.

    But…I did get a very nice note today, 2 days. It was polite but went like this:
    “Hi! Thanx a lot! I could spend a very nice time there. It’s getting warmer here. I hope you visit soon or to see you somewhere! Life is short. Adios!”

    Door’s open. Not sure how to respond. Any thoughts boys? I was just going to respond:

    The mysterious poet:

    “Dancing like you was like playing the cello. I smell your perfume on my jacket…”

    Or the pua cocky funny: “You dance well….for a construction supervisor”

    Not sure…haven’t really thought how I feel about this….leaning towards the first because I was such a cocky funny guy the entire time we met…

  40. Life is short… It’s up to you to escalate or let her down with a benign “thanks you too”.

  41. “The whole idea of this woman being married was a turn off…can’t explain, just was.”

    Since you didn’t know who her husband was or what their story is that was most likely your survival instinct kicking in. (insert appropriate Pulp Fiction gif, or photo of OJ Simpson)

  42. @sentient…. opted for a response that would at once tease and tingle

    “You dance very well….for a lawyer. Dancing with you was like playing the cello. We’ll meet again.”

    Plays Into a woman’s romantic fantasy without a hint of vulnerability and a tease.

    This is long game anyway. Was interesting to see how she replied two days after leaving. She waited for something from me. I didn’t chase.

    I’m now internalising so much of my game I don’t even think about it. I can feel what is alpha and what is beta .

    The calibration is better. Chicks want a long distance fantasy and and up close jerkboy…

  43. @anon

    I think it was my anger over my friend chasing my plate and the whole thing.

    When I see her using betas to get to me it triggers an unhealthy competitive instinct.

    She was well up for something. Her invitation and life is short line….no accident.

    But the point was I decided not to escalate.

  44. @wala

    But the point was I decided not to escalate.

    Good for you. I’m on a similar path…I’m learning that it’s Ok to flirt for fun in your social circle, but don’t escalate and don’t intoxicate.

  45. @ wala wala

    Great FR. I’ve been out of the scene for so long, when I’m out I’m usually just all about my fun and miss a lot. I could tighten my game substantially after reading your experience.

    Question for you: How tight is your dating scene? Was it coincidence that all these acquaintances were there? I’ve been paying more attention lately and only see a smattering of the same available people. When out, do you find the more available, familiar you are to others, your demand drops, your + social proof decreases?

    For some reason I enjoy being all over town, different venues. Here are a few particular after-work bars where the only way I’d not get laid is my dick fell off. You know, I’ve avoided those as the same people are there, and the vibe gets weird, desperate. I’ve never had a 20 something HB 8-10 ever, ever, ever approach me, though. Sounds cool.

    Thanks again.

  46. @EhIntellect I do a mix: online, girls from my social circle and then there’s also cold approaches.

    I actually met a very cute 32 year old on public transport…gamed her, met up for drinks. We went out 3 times…by the third time I made clear she was coming over. I banged her. I banged her each time after that as well.

    The thing is by having a variety I can mix it up.

    I really had mixed feelings about the married one. She was so keen for an adventure….I just couldn’t escalate. But we did have such a blast and I teased the hell out of her so when I sent her the rather direct text about smelling her perfume on my jacked…it must have hit her like a blackjack to the face. That’s the thing about contrast game.

    I usually only game and bang girls under 30. But the other day one who must be around 40 approached me. She was so well-put together and trying to look younger that in the right light she did. Plus she was so much fun to hang out with it was like being with a 28 year old…I may make an exception and bang her.

    i’m finding that if you don’t escalate or sexualize or make your intentions known early they immediately box you in.

    Married girl is the exception. She got it….but was also conflicted. Her note didn’t friendzone me but wasn’t so overt…the invitation and “life is short” line…was no accident.

    The plate that broke….that was the one who turned me off going out for a bit. She was typical Cluster B….so keen at first….then suddenly chasing and throwing herself after two of my most shockingly beta friends who were orbiting her when we were together.

    I did however manage to get some type of satisfaction when I walked into the party with HB8 and she and orbiter were there…

  47. Ventured out to London the other night. Had high hopes, but it was an awful night in terms of ‘game’.

    Not much of a Field Report to post really, unfortunately, since there’s just not much to mention in terms of the interactions.

    I opened a Canadian girl in a bar for my first approach with an opener about her checking her tinder when she was engrossed in her phone. I tried teasing her and stuff but she told me pretty quickly that she had a fiance who was on his way.

    I opened another girl in a club who also turned out to be Canadian. She had one friend with her who was busy hooking up with some random guy next to her. I tried gaming her so damn hard, ‘making assumptions’, asking her questions,trieed a little mystery routine etc, but she was just not responsive. Fairly cold towards me. She didn’t leave me, but I think that’s just because she couldn’t really since her friend was busy getting dry-humped so after I ran out of material I bailed on her. It was like trying to ‘create fun’ out of thin air with a chair or something.

    I opened a girl on a Hen night on the dance floor. Asked her which of her friends were getting married as my opener. She pointed at her friend, but I couldn’t get her to talk to me, really. I couldn’t think of a routine at the time to use after my opener. I asked her a few questions but she didn’t want to talk. Was mildly awkward. Maybe I should have opened non verbally and just started dancing with her,

    I opened a couple of older women who were some what responsive and started asking ME questions and stuff, but I didn’t actually even find them attractive. I just wanted to keep the momentum going.and practice.

    I got one of my harshest ever dancefloor rejections too, lol. Some girl in a group kept kind of half grinding against me. Not full on grinding, but dancing super close to me despite there being space on teh dancefloor. I kind of put my hand on her hip and then she spun around, slapped my hand as hard as she could, and then pushed me with all her force! I didn’t really care but for the fact that my friends all saw and laughed, lol!

    Sight seeing:

    I did see some of the prettiest girls i’ve ever seen last night, though! When I first got there, there was a group of Russian girls. They looked about 17-18, and they were all 10’s. All with their young boyfriends.

    I saw a barman who probably gets laid every night running his game which was fun to watch. Looked like he had a system/routine for banging tourists in his bar! He jumped into their photo when they were taking one, told his bar staff to ‘cover him’ (they looked at him like he does this every night) and then he jumped over teh bar and started chatting the girl up and kinoing her, and then got her a free drink. I wish I could have evesdropped in on his conversation to learn what he says/talks about.

    I also saw a blonde STUNNER who I keep thinking about in the club.She was part of the hen night group I mentioned before I think. She had on like a sports bra and looked like a model. Gorgeous face/eyes/teeth. Young too. Some guy was all over her. I thought he’d ruined it for himself since he was so KEEN/needy? She pulled away first on every kiss. Every time he went straight back in, hands all over her. Just seemed super try hard. When I do that teh girls tend to lose interest, so I thought he’d ruined it, but then I saw him grab her hand and march her off somewhere. Player!! Probably banged her in the tiolets or something. I don’t imagine she would have left her friends for the night since they were on a hen night, but who knows…

    Overall a very bad night. Woke up the next morning just feeling depressed, lol. Mixture of lack of hope, confusion, frustration and jealousy! Still feel like shit, but hoping to snap out of it by my next night out!

    Hopefully better luck next time

  48. “most of them lead lives of “quiet desperation””

    Today met with dead-bedroom diamond colleague. He described his only just Grand Canyon family trip, the stress trying to accommodate the family…with his signature smile.

    The conversation turned to sex, as a South Beach Diet commercial hotties flashed across the lounge TV screen.

    Him: That’s what I’d like again.

    Me: It’s the simple things, isn’t it? No amount of money, trips and toys can replace it.

    Him: Well, EhIntellect, it’s worth waiting for. (!)

    Me: What if I told you I have sex with my wife every day? Sometimes twice? Occasionally thrice?

    Him: Yeah, I did that for the first 8 years.

    Me: Me? 23 years bro. Still going strong. When you’re ready, I’ll tell you.

    He just started kinda blank, I walked away. Let’s hope this seed takes root. Prudence.

  49. FR

    Still working through health issues. Gone one problem solved, but I still have one more symptom I have to deal with before I can seriously go out and game again. Also, to Forge, the phenibut definitely has no effect on me.

    Goal now is just to get back to where I was before. I’ll still be tired, but I won’t have all these other things that have popped up this year. So I just want to get back to where I was a few months ago.

    I **DID** however have some, not exactly a FR, but some things that came up:

    #1 my main store boss definitely wants to bone me. She annoyed when I didn’t show up to any more of her events (it was the all-black event from back in January). She keeps inviting me to them. A few days ago she stepped it up in person. She stood next to me and on some point grabbed my hand and like ran her hand all over it. Wish I could remember what exactly she did, but it was waaaaay more than was necessary and was super obvious to me. Gave me a semi lol. Then she walked over to the other side of me to talk to another person with her back turned to me. She leaned into me hard as she did so. It was a lot like the one black girl from halloween…she did a similar thing, leaning hard into me.

    And the other day she didn’t get so physical, but she kept stopping by all the time, and then when everyone else was gone just hung around chatting with me lol.

    Is pretty cool lol. Definitely would bang, but not yet. Not experienced enough yet, and not sure I want to risk something like that with my job. However, she is a lot higher up on the totem pole, so it isn’t like I’d be screwing my secretary or anything.

    If nothing else, I like the compliment lol.

    #2 Same coworker from before I wrote about a lot. I called out a while ago she was going to turn into a party girl, and sure enough she is. My immediate boss (not the one from above) was super impressed I called that…but it was pretty obvious to me given her personality and her age range…she’s early twenties so going into the party girl phase. She was talking the whole time I worked with her last on how awesome Tinder is and was showing me all the messages she got…lots of handsome, ripped as fuck dudes were interested in her. She even had some guys just up and send her flowers and gifts lol. Thing is most of them are boring lol, so she cuts it off after the dinner date.

    Now, at the end of the time I worked with her, I scolded her that she was eating too much candy, and that she was gonna get fat and no guy would want to go out with her…except maybe black dudes, since a lot of them are into that shit. And she said “ew, black dudes no way.” I asked “Why don’t you like black dudes?” and she said “because they’re BLACK!” so I laughed at her and said “That’s the most racist thing I’ve ever heard!” and she got all playfully defensive and was saying she wasn’t really racist. I brought it up with a customer “Its always a sad day…when you learn your coworker is a racist.” which spiked her a bunch more. She said later “I can’t believe you said that to a customer!”

    Next day I stopped back by and got an enthusiastic greeting from her “Oh its Hank! Heeey!” and then she quickly went back into the whole “I’m not racist bit.” She had the same playful vibe. Later she was looking at my ID, I forget why I gave it to her, and she was trying to pronounce my last name. She was showing it to customers asking, “How do you think you’d say that?” and they gave their guesses and she said “I think its pronounced ASSHOLE lol”

    Funny funny funny seeing the change in her attitude from before. This was the same girl who was legitimately bitchy (as opposed to “i’m attracted to you” bitchy) and actually tried to get me fired about a year ago. But now that I’ve been more actively gaming her…not like seriously trying to pick her up, I just mean by being more of a alpha dude than I was before, she’s completely 180’d. But its awesome to see the interest from her, especially considering she’s getting all this interest from these jacked handsome dudes, and going out with a bunch of them, but she still has interest in me…and I’m definitely NOT jacked or super good looking, and she has specifically said guys who look like me aren’t her type (not an ioi, when she mentioned it before it was a serious statement)…and I haven’t even really hardcore gamed her or anything…just teasing her on things like not liking black dudes or being attracted to an old dude lol…

    …but then again, how many guys will do that these days?

    And also is the same with the big boss that wants to bone me…she also didn’t used to like me, but does a bunch now lol. So funny to see…all I did was gradually become more alpha. Don’t work any harder, lol, I actually work LESS hard than I used to lol.

    #3Really pretty 40 year old girl I know, married and friends with her husband so not trying to pick her up. But me and some other people went to a bar and she was there as well. She said the food was very good, but I didn’t believe her and said I’d need a whole piece to know for sure. So I was just bullshitting trying to talk my way into free food.

    Don’t quite remember what happned next, but she didn’t give me the food she said she would. So I just took it lol. She held onto it so I ripped off part of it. She got pretty mad. Later, on the way back from the bathroom, I took another whole piece. She got REALLY mad and was yelling, took back the piece but ripped off part of it and said HERE HAVE THAT. Was really funny.

    Old dude next to me was like “I don’t think she likes you anymore.” and I said “Lol, all I was trying to do was get a free piece of food, and between the two pieces I got a whole one. So its been a good day for me!” Guy liked me a lot and paid for my first drink and bought me a new one. My immediate boss got me a drink as well. So three free drinks, and the food I stole lol. Later on the milf said “Well, I guess we can still be friends” and gave me a hug lol. Old dude though I was cool. pretty blue pill guy, couldn’t believe I could be a dick to a girl like that and have her still like me lol.

    So still getting some experience now. Making progress. Just need to be able to do this stuff with other chicks, and keep the same attitude and I’ll be golden.

    Can’t wait to get better, but I just gotta wait a few more weeks. Then I should be back to normal and can hit the pavement. Gonna have a major blitz like culum does ones I back to normal, so will be fun.

    Health problems have sucked, but have given me a better mindset.

  50. @pitbikemike

    Had high hopes, but it was an awful night in terms of ‘game’.

    Any time you go out is a good night out. You’ve already about gotten laid. If you keep going out, you’ll get a lot better. It just might takes some time, maybe a year, maybe two, but probably a lot less. But if you keep going out you’ll get better eventually.

    You’re negative attitude, though, is the main thing holding you back. So always keep that in mind.

    I opened a Canadian girl in a bar for my first approach with an opener about her checking her tinder when she was engrossed in her phone.

    good good

    I tried teasing her and stuff but she told me pretty quickly that she had a fiance who was on his way.

    So? Do something like make a big show of looking around everyone and then say “Hmmm, I don’t see him anywhere. Is he hiding behind that bush there? I bet he’s a voyer, right. That’s the shit he’s in to? Lol”

    If she persists, drop it, but a lot of times they just SAY they are meeting a fiancee or boyfriend, but really aren’t. And sometimes they won’t even care if they ARE meeting a boyfriend. I once gamed and asian girl who was super into me…until her ugly friend showed up and said “She has a fiancee!” and fucked up the set lol. But the asian girl didn’t care that she had a fiancee, she would probably have gone off with me if her friend hadn’t shown up and triggered her ASD.

    I opened another girl in a club who also turned out to be Canadian. She had one friend with her who was busy hooking up with some random guy next to her.

    Comment on that. A good thing to do is comment on other people like a David Attenborough documentary. Just make it sexual.

    I tried gaming her so damn hard, ‘making assumptions’, asking her questions,trieed a little mystery routine etc, but she was just not responsive.

    Yeah your delivery may be a little too forced. Maybe you are needy. I think you may be. Hard to say though since I’m not there, but your negative mindset makes me think you probably are.

    I opened a couple of older women who were some what responsive and started asking ME questions and stuff, but I didn’t actually even find them attractive. I just wanted to keep the momentum going.and practice.

    Practice taking things sexual on these kind of girls. They already like you. You don’t have to bang them, just push it as far as you can. Will make you more confident if you do.

    I got one of my harshest ever dancefloor rejections too, lol. Some girl in a group kept kind of half grinding against me. Not full on grinding, but dancing super close to me despite there being space on teh dancefloor. I kind of put my hand on her hip and then she spun around, slapped my hand as hard as she could, and then pushed me with all her force! I didn’t really care but for the fact that my friends all saw and laughed, lol!

    lol, that’s a good story. You can use that as an open all night long. Just laugh off those situations…they are funny. If you aren’t phased by it, it shows you are a guy who’s confident enough to shrug off rejection and that you EXPECT girls to let you do that…which means girls probably HAVE let you do that.

    If nothing else, its a great way to juggler method guys. Most guys have been in situations like that, and you can build an almost instant connection with them that way. Drop that into future convos…but tell it as if its the FUNNIEST thing…if you are super emo about it, it will be a DLV. Infact, for a lot of things, what makes it a DHV or a DLV is in HOW you tell the story.

    I saw a barman who probably gets laid every night running his game which was fun to watch.

    Did you talk to this dude? TALK TO THIS DUDE! Hang out with him if you can. If nothing else, just go and watch him. But these are the kind of guys you want to be around.

    My #1 recommendation for you is to go back to this place and chat up this dude. Befriend him…basically just be a friendly dude to him. Ideally you want to go pick up chicks with him, but at least you can watch and learn from him, and also use him as a DHV with chicks since this guy knows you…just having him say “Oh hey, its mike! Hey dude, how’s it going.” Its nothing major, but its still a DHV from knowing a guy like that and will make you more at ease in such a friendly environment.

    Some guy was all over her. I thought he’d ruined it for himself since he was so KEEN/needy? She pulled away first on every kiss. Every time he went straight back in, hands all over her. Just seemed super try hard. When I do that teh girls tend to lose interest, so I thought he’d ruined it, but then I saw him grab her hand and march her off somewhere. Player!! Probably banged her in the tiolets or something. I don’t imagine she would have left her friends for the night since they were on a hen night, but who knows…

    Two kinds of “needy”. There’s the bad needy, which is where you’re like “Oh please please please like me.” That’s bad. But then you can be “needy” in that you are sexual, and you want to bang this girl. That’s good. That’s why things like lazers work…you are conveying sexual intent to the girl. You are saying through you eyes “I want to fuck you.” That turns girls on because you are creating sexual tension. That’s what this guy was probably doing. Also he’s persistent…he kept trying. If you get a serious “No…STOP.” the do so but a lot of times when a girl rejects you it isn’t serious.

    Overall a very bad night. Woke up the next morning just feeling depressed, lol. Mixture of lack of hope, confusion, frustration and jealousy! Still feel like shit, but hoping to snap out of it by my next night out!

    Nah you did fine. Just next time, go talk to that bartender dude.

  51. @Pitbikemike Props for going out and making the effort.

    “”She pointed at her friend, but I couldn’t get her to talk to me, really. I couldn’t think of a routine at the time to use after my opener. I asked her a few questions but she didn’t want to talk.””

    Let’s start with this. Very common and again I know the feeling and have found a way to overcome it. First is practice….just keep doing it.

    Second is mindset—you have the idea you MUST keep the conversation going when in reality the opener leads to a neg–spark attraction then you get her qualifying herself: Read the Mystery Method.

    Qualifying herself means she’s investing herself in the conversation.

    Also read everything you can about “openers”. Tons of stuff on YouTube. The Direct vs Indirect ones.

    Also, find a way to politely eject; “Have a great night”

    The “False time constraint” I only have a few minutes and have to go back to my buddies but…

    I used the false time constraint the other day to get out of a situation I just couldn’t bring myself to escalate: “I’d ask you for a drink now but I have to work tomorrow morning, so I’ll get your number and let’s meet up tomorrow….”

    Also start practicing openers on fat women, old women, women at supermarket checkout counters….Just get talking.

    You have a great attitude, what’s missing is structure to your game. The more you practice the steps and Mystery Method is very effective—the more you’ll start the calibrate your game and recognize when a girl is shy but interested (She’s standing in front of you looking at you vs looking at her phone and trying to escape)

    Read Krauser’s Date Model on his blog, you can search for it. Buy DayGame Mastery, look at various opener tutorials.

    You’ll start to be more disciplined in your approaches and they won’t peter out, you’ll be seizing control and knowing how to move forward and how to eject.

  52. @walawala

    I actually recently finished reading the mystery method. I’ve read LOTS of game books, so it’s weird having so much conflicting advice in my head. The RSD guys who I listen too a lot seem to have gone in a completely new direction where it’s all about ‘natural game’ – every one of Max’s pickups looks so different from each other that there doesn’t seem to be much structure which I guess suites me, because I hate having to think exactly where I am in teh interaction and about what line I’m supposed to use at various points, trying to force a kind of sequence into an ‘roganic’ event if you know what I mean? My brain can’t seem to handle it and it puts me ‘in my head’ quite a lot. Sometimes he opens direct. Sometimes indirect. Sometimes he just starts asking ‘interview questions’ after the open, sometimes he makes assumptions instead etc. Similar with Juliens stuff.

    I guess that’s the ‘model’/’structure’ that I tend to follow.

    As I say, I have been experimenting with more mystery type stuff on some girls. But I often forget what sort of lines i’m suppoesd to use in various stages of the interaction, and maybe even not know what ‘stage’ of the interaction i’m even in! I find it feels very unnatural to me personally, although I still try to make it work and haven’t given up on it yet.

    With the girl on the dancefloor, should I have opened her with an MM opinion opener? (who lie more, men or women?) Or as you say, a NEG. Maybe ”Weren’t you wearing that dress last time you were here?” – I’ve been experimenting a ltitle with mystery openers and stuff (in my FR prior to this one) In the past, even playful negs on the open can often get me very BAD reactions, though. I wonder if the mystery method is meant for a certain type of girl in the US. It’s as if these UK girls don’t play by the same rules and certainly don’t seem to get attracted by NEGS (unless they are already heavily into you)

    Out of interest, do you follow the mystery method quite strictly when you go out at night? Do you always open in the exact same way and follow up with a certain neg, and a certain DHV story etc etc?

    Also, does anyone who gets results on here NOT follow the MM ‘structure’ that you know of?

  53. @ SJF and Novaseeker

    I was high on hubris and entered, exited that call recklessly. The situation didn’t bother, guilt me. In the car, I thought my comment humorously stupid, unnecessary. I have a egomaniacal immature streak, from which I have to extract myself occasionally. I’m really good when I get it, a unbelievable, stupid underdeveloped adult when not. It shows, doesn’t it? This I can defeat.

    “What you’re doing is sabotaging their filter, which of course will be unwelcome, never mind that they will generally be just as satisfied with a man who learns to get it ”

    What!? There are immutable rules even I, a special snowflake, must adhere to? Rules are for amateurs! Dammit, it can’t be! There’s got to be another way! Aw, shit, this sucks…sniff. Fine, I’m down with it. Whew. Better. Thanks for helping me though my tough time there, y’all.

    I was cock-a-hoop that day as my oldest was building his opening skills independently. Mrs. Eh compliments/ed me routinely and that day re: helping my oldest defeat his opening girls, getting him out there, cheerleading him. He’s been hopping chain pubs and grubs, sitting at the bar, pretending to be a college student, faking a Math or PoliSci major (take that higher ed.), both he can fake easy enough. He ends up talking to the bartender, waitresses, whomever, getting experience, in life. He can’t honestly talk to friends about it…he doesn’t talk fight club. I could learn something from him.

    His quote: “Dad, gaming fat girls is too easy…bummer.”

  54. @Pitbike Mike I follow the steps of the Mystery Method clearly. I also follow Krauser’s date model which is a much clearer and mirror’s Mystery Method but with greater detail and tactics.

    Always open with a neg….a good one: You look like trouble…

    That always gets the girl qualifying herself.

    Krauser has a great methodology, watch his videos….he scripts it out in DayGame but it works in any situation. He stops the girl, explains why he stopped her “you have interesting fashion sense…” and then immediately get her qualifying…. It’s the Mystery Method enhanced.

    In the case of the girl last week, I asked her to dance…Cold Read her: “you must be from xxx”

    I was right. But I had a 50/50 chance of being right. From then on she was hooked. “How could you tell I was from xxx???”

    “You looked like trouble” I teased…

    From there I invited her out, got her number took it from there.

    You’ll know very quickly if the girl is interested right after the approach. If it’s a struggle, then politely eject…

    If you can get past A 1, 2 3 into comfort then get the number or what I do is say “Here’s what we’re going to do…i’m leaving for drinks, you should join me….”

    Girls ALWAYS tell me they appreciate my boldness….and my confidence.

    That’s when the shit tests will start and that’s when you know it’s on.

    Do enough of them and you will become more familiar and not be thinking “Is this A2 or A3???”

    You’ll be flowing and she’ll be following…and shit-testing.

  55. Mike

    Also, does anyone who gets results on here NOT follow the MM ‘structure’ that you know of?

    All follow the same structure…

    They just use different words or don’t understand what they are doing.

  56. Mike

    What you are not getting is that MM is a model, not prescriptive steps with ready to use dialogue. Those were examples of things he was doing, not incantations or spells… The STRUCTURE is what is important, the WHY not the HOW.

    Step back and take another look that is not paint by numbers…

  57. @sentient But quite a few PUA’s open with INTEREST as opposed to DISINTEREST? Someone Like Mark Manson has a COMPLETELY different model to MM for example, no?

    Walawala, so for now, should I open every girl with a certain scripted open and neg and basically try to make every interaction follow a kind of script in order to get more structure?

    Taking the first few stages.

    A1 – Opener – I could just say ”Hi” and make a comment on her clothes?. or ask ”who lies more, men or women? Then she answers.

    A2 – DHV, Neg, Tease – DHV could be a story about me saving my stripper ex-girlfriend, tease could be ”you look like trouble;;, Neg could be ”you blink a lot”

    A3 – This is where I’d ask her what she has beyond her looks

    But if, for example, she isn’t interested in qualifying herself to me, that means I don’t have enough attraction, so I have to run more scripted routines, but that could mean that I might have to memorize say 30 DHV stories, 30 ‘tease lines’ and 30 ‘negs’?

  58. Mike

    @sentient But quite a few PUA’s open with INTEREST as opposed to DISINTEREST?

    And this works why? When you are displaying high value via the confidence of a direct approach, your look, subcomms or some situational DHV… typically though it works when the girl is lower value than you. That it can work without the IOD just means you’ve skipped a step and this will then typically bite you in the ass on another set when the girl is hotter for example and tells you to fuck off when you go up to her and say she is hot and you wanted to say Hi…. MM leads to consistent game results when followed consistently.

  59. @pitbike. Get a few openers and Routines you’re familiar with and practice with them so you don’t get into situations like the one you described where you opened and had nothing to say after that.

    One you get comfortable you can develop or adapt your own.

    Who lies more? Works because it taps into s girls emotional programming…

    Have you ever had a lover from a different country? Is one I use during the comfort stage to sexualise. Krauser lists out A variety of questions for comfort that sexualise.

    Dig around and then use them and see how they work.

    It’s hard to analyse your field reports without knowing what you’re practicing at any given time: are you practicing negs and cold reads? Give us a report and we can assess.

    It’s hard to assess and offer more tactical advice without you setting some goals and then asking us to help you calibrate your game.

    Set a few goals: practice openers …use the same one on 10 girls then report to us how it played out and we can help you calibrate.

    I kept a game journal. Helped me tremendously

  60. “Those were examples of things he was doing, not incantations or spells… The STRUCTURE is what is important, the WHY not the HOW.”

    Some time ago conversation on a tech forum turned to cooking for reasons I can’t remember. Someone who liked what I was saying asked me for some of my recipes. I responded:

    “I don’t have any recipes, because I know how to cook.”

    When I want something to eat, I don’t look at a list of ingredients and then go out and buy them; I look in the fridge and see what I’ve got.

    The proper purpose of recipes is to give an example of what cooking is until you develop your own sense of why the recipe is like that, after which you can take whatever it is you have and use it to best effect.

    And once you understand the why you will begin to notice that most recipes don’t actually make a lot of sense. They are made up from tradition that made sense in the environment of those that devised them, but not so much in your environment.

    For instance, we now pickle fish to make it taste like pickled fish, because that’s what pickled fish is supposed to taste like. But fish used to be pickled because it was a way to preserve it, to ruin it on purpose in a way that it was still at least edible – only now we have refrigeration.

    To take it a step further, sushi rice is vinegared, because sushi rice is supposed to taste of vinegar, but . . . sushi rice tastes of vinegar because it was the medium to ferment fish and was supposed to be disposed of, not eaten.

    Only the most desperate of the poor rummaged through the garbage pile to eat the rice. Now their rich descendants demand their garbage food as the primary base for their fresh sashimi.

    Learn the why. . Avoid eating the garbage because you don’t even know it’s garbage, and never go hungry with a house full of food, just because you don’t have everything to fit some recipe book lists.

  61. ”It’s hard to analyse your field reports without knowing what you’re practicing at any given time: are you practicing negs and cold reads? Give us a report and we can assess.

    It’s hard to assess and offer more tactical advice without you setting some goals and then asking us to help you calibrate your game.

    Set a few goals: practice openers …use the same one on 10 girls then report to us how it played out and we can help you calibrate.”

    That’s why I asked you about whether them openers and lines sounded OK. I can then use them like a robot for my next 20 approaches or so. Happy to do that. But I don’t want to make 20 approaches, and then be told that I was doing wrong and saying the wrong things 🙂

    I need help with everything, but for now, I want to work on ‘hooking’ the girl – Not getting rejected soon after I open.

    So if you tell me exactly what to say for my open and then what I saw as my neg in response to her (and what I say when it isn’t working and I need to ‘start again’ then i’ll test it in field)

    For example, is my plan
    Open with an opinion opener
    she replies
    I tell he she looks like trouble
    She replies
    I ask her what she has going for her other than her looks. Here she should qualify herself to me.
    From that point I know she likes me?

    Is that OK? Should I test that out for my next 20 approaches or so knowing that it should work in theory?

  62. Mike

    I need help with everything, but for now, I want to work on ‘hooking’ the girl – Not getting rejected soon after I open.

    DEMONSTRATE High Value…

  63. I missed out the DHV story in that lit by mistake. So, i’ll tell a story aboutt saving my ex stripper girlfriend or something to use after she replies to ‘you look like trouble’, 9but i’ll obviously need a few in case that one does ‘work’)

  64. “And once you understand the why you will begin to notice that most recipes don’t actually make a lot of sense. They are made up from tradition that made sense in the environment of those that devised them, but not so much in your environment.

    Necessity is the mother of invention.
    Don’t mean that invention ain’t molto buonissimo.

  65. You can add all the excitotoxins to dehydrated library paste you want, still don’t make it fit to eat.

  66. Mmm…excitotoxins.
    Starting the cheer.
    You say “libraryp” I say “aste”
    “Libraryp”
    “Aste”
    “libraryp”
    “Aste!”

  67. Quick LR from business trip yesterday. More for the record than anything else. The 400 Approach Challenge approaches this weekend.

    Two dates from online, 3 hours apart (these are among the last 3-4 numbers I still have in circulation from before I deleted my online dating apps and profiles 3 weeks ago).

    First was a HB6 28 year old brunette – very WC, ex Army, swore a lot, lots of stories about drinking with Army buddies etc. She was very keen to meet up and texting me a lot for the last few weeks.

    Ran my standard hotel bar game, but just like virtually no attraction. I know I didn’t do anything obvious or technical wrong – it’s pretty much the same routine that gets me laid all the time – kino, sexual topics, laser, escalate etc.

    But it just wasn’t “hitting” – just not much in the way of emotional spiking even with some of my best stories.

    Sure, I made out with her easily enough but she kept pulling away – obviously wasn’t into it. And she wouldn’t come into the “dominance kino” position – cuddled up with my arm around her which is a crucial indicator – it’s almost like a subconscious thing I find. Strong indicator of genuine attraction/desire – a woman can consciously kiss you but in my experience will almost never come in and cuddle up like that without real attraction and submission to your dominance.

    After about an hour I figured I may as well pull her for practice and easily got her to my room with the usual gambit, and we kissed a bit, but further escalation was impossible – she was too keen to get out. Which was more or less what I’d expected – I knew she wasn’t particularly attracted to say nothing of being turned on.

    Second was another HB6 21 year old college student redhead. Would be much cuter if she dropped some weight. Rather the opposite..educated, very MC, easier to talk to.

    She’d actually been much more cool in terms of communication and messaging – but it was a smooth textbook 90 minute lay. Kino, laser, sexual topics and push/pull, etc.

    She was not very demonstrative in public in the bar but I have enough experience now to tell that she was more into the kissing than the first girl (even though both of them it was only light kissing, not heavy making out). And crucially she did come into the dominance kino position easily, plus when I took her hand, she didn’t remove it immediately and she left her hand on my leg – all of which the first girl didn’t do.

    Got her up to the room on a gambit, we both used the restroom, started making out properly (PS – when I came out of the restroom second and saw her *sitting on the bed* instead of standing up or sitting on the couch – I knew I had it in the bag) and a zero LMR lay was had from there (she did admit when I asked her that she had actually been quite turned on for a good half hour before I pulled her – ie, very soon after I started kissing her – again, goes to show just how quickly this stuff can go). Interesting also how there are very few outward signs when a girl is turned on. The bartender must have thought it hilarious to see me there with two girls in 4 hours, but to him it must have looked like I had a drink and made out with both of them with my arm around both..but the end results were so different.

    Also some interesting stuff in terms of showing my (genuine) nonjudgmentalness – I talked about dating a stripper, I teased her nonjudgmentally about taking guys home and annoying her housemates about the noise..bunch of other stuff to show I was very relaxed about sex (including a story about letting a gay guy buy me a drink etc).

  68. @Culum Could you briefly go over your ‘date formula’, for me? I’ve never had a date so i’m curious how they look in practice. Like, I often read ‘date stories’ on reddit, and lots of them sound really awkward and boring without any kino or spark and I imagine that’s how mine would look!

    I wonder how people make them fun and flirty without awkwardly trying to use kino.

    So like, what sort of routines do you use? Do you start the date with just small talk like asking how their day was or what they do for a job? Are there certain topics you always bring up in order to help you sexualise the convo? How do you initiate kino? Is it always under the ‘guise’ of something else, such as wanting to look at her tattoos or something? I find I have no problem with little touches on teh arm to emphasise a point or whatever, but I struggle to find a reason to go from there to much more ‘sexual’ kino such as holding her by the hips or rubbing her leg or one of the more ‘sexual’ kino escalations. Are you verbally direct, i.e – telling her she looks hot and stuff?

  69. @Pitbikemike – Well, it’s a bit difficult to say. Not because it’s that complicated, but because it is so simple. The real action is in the subtleties and subcomms that come with LOTS of experience. Even though the external view to anyone watching looks almost the same. Anyone who watched a date of mine in 2013 and one in 2017 will see pretty much exactly the same thing and will not understand why most 2013 dates didn’t end in the bedroom, while most 2017 did (unless they are extremely perceptive indeed).

    Like for eg, I usually start dates with a hug – but in 2013 I used to go in to the girl and sort of give her a quick slightly awkward hug. In 2017, I either hold her hand and pull her in for a hug or hold my arms out and let her come to me. And I’ve done enough of these hugs now that I can get a good idea of the level of initial interest just from the hug and how much she presses her tits against me and how comfortable she is hugging me.

    It’s not actually that complicated – it’s actually much more complicated to write about than to do – but you need to put in the practice get reference to integrate it into your head – like learning to drive (assuming you can drive stick – I think you’re quite young?) – at first the car keeps stalling and you have to keep thinking about changing gears and stalling etc, but after a while you do all of it without thinking.

    The whole date is a combination of a bunch of things like the above example.

    But to answer your questions

    1. Yes, I generally start the date with small talk about boring stuff. Doesn’t matter what. Traffic on the drive to bar or anything really. First few minutes to settle down – but crucial that (a) my subcomms, laser eyes, speech are all spot on for the first impression even during interview talk; and (b) I usually sexualize by interrupting the boring talk and tell the girl I want to get a good look at her and make her spin round for me and tell her her ass or legs are sexy – and if I get the vibe she’s cool with it, I grab her ass too (this sexualization made a BIG difference to my results but it took a good two years of online dating to get the confidence and congruence to pull it off without being creepy – your results may be faster).

    2. I sexualize (and keep things sexualized) by telling a bunch of stories about me. The stories are broadly true (so very congruent) but may be embellished to make for a better story. It’s not a strict script and the words and stuff aren’t scripted. The stories are usually in roughly the same order from less sexual to more sexual though and also DHV me in a variety of ways (one of the good things about the old Mystery Method seminar was that they helped you come up with personalized DHV stories – although my current ones are more sexual than anything I came up with at the seminar). The details of the stories aren’t important – range of things from pranks I played with a sexual angle to (later on) my experiences in swingers clubs etc. This is the broad framework for the date – depending on how good the girl is at conversation, we will go off on tangents and talk about other stuff and come back etc, but it is my responsibility to keep the conversation going in the direction of more sexual/intimate – usually by escalating to a “better” story. This is actually harder to do when you get along BETTER with the girl. Because then the temptation is to just enjoy her company and *let the conversation drift* without going where you want to go.

    3. Kino starts as soon as I meet her with the hug and then grabbing ass saying she’s sexy. Then I’ve set the frame, so I tend to slow down and escalate a bit more slowly. This is difficult to explain without experience, but you sort of get a feel for how receptive she is (go on a dozen dates with the girl sitting next to you and try and escalate and kiss her and then try to escalate more and then you’ll have a much better shot of understanding this) – and then escalate. Typically legs touching..I touch legs, put my arm around her..pull her in for a quick hug on a high point..see if she comes into dominance kino position [CRUCIAL], .tease her by almost kissing her and going in close and lasering her..eventually kissing her etc. As a rough framework on a first date, (a good one that is), I am looking at kiss in about 20-30 minutes, full sexual topics/explicit convo and her being turned on by around 60-70 minutes (can be accompanied by heavy making out and groping, but not required depending on how shy she is in public) and pulling to the room somewhere around the 90 minute mark.

    4. Other than the initial setting-frame comment about legs/ass being sexy (first 3-4 minutes – note that this is also a compliance test and she only gets that reward if she complies and turns around for me to show me her body), I am rarely verbally direct. I am careful to have a mixture of push/pull overall – I tease her for no reason and physically push her away. Then I say “kidding” and pull her in etc. I qualify her usually on something (doesn’t matter what – just something about her specifically that is not her looks and I say I like it or respect it). I may (after some making out) compliment her kissing, but not always. However, once we are in isolation (or in heavy making out/groping stage), I am *heavily* verbally direct – lots of dirty talk (which I do because I enjoy it and it’s a turn on for me) and stuff about how she turns me on and makes me horny and how I was thinking about this when I was making polite conversation with her etc.

    PS – I saw in your previous posts that you had read a lot of pickup stuff and were getting a bit confused about what to follow. Sentient addressed the point for you, but to reiterate and expand – look, there are really only two possibilities – either someone doesn’t get results (in which case ignore their advice) or they get good results (in which case the broad Mystery Method model – which is more a description of how the process works – will apply). The actual advice (from people who get good results) will vary depending on different interpretations and emphasis on different aspects etc (so for eg even within RSD, Tyler is much more about “energy” and woo-woo stuff – while Todd is all hardcore technique).

    What you really need to do is find someone whose results are good AND whose personality/approach really clicks and resonates with YOU. That’s a very personal decision. For example, I was in a similar kind of situation to you in 2013 – I knew about Game (did a Mystery Method course way back years before my LTR) but was confused about where to go and what to follow. Finding the manosphere/Red Pill – and through that the YaReally Archive, and all of YaReally’s postings was like a light flipping on – and everything he wrote really resonated with me. I still read and watch a lot of stuff, but my “base” mental model of pickup and Game now is filtered through a combination of Red Pill teaching of underlying principles via Rollo and more direct pickup advice through YaReally.

    Who that will be for you, I don’t know. But don’t think you HAVE to agree with or follow everyone who is good – everyone has a different personality and approach. For eg, Walawala is a big fan of Krauser’s stuff. I haven’t seen Krauser’s book and products but when I first got into the manosphere (before Krauser released his products), I spent a lot of time reading years’ worth of Krauser’s blog archives. While he knows his stuff (and in particularly I liked the date model from his early blog writings), he just didn’t resonate with me at all – just the constant negativity of his approach and his extreme views really put me off.

  70. thanks a lot for that post, @Culum – Particularly the ‘first date’ stuff.Most people are much more vague about that kind of stuff, so I appreciate the examples.

  71. only got a sec here, but to add to what culum said pitbikemike, here’s an instadate I went on a few months ago. That’s how most of your “dates” will go — find a girl, then pull her with you on an improvised date. That’s what I did here. That date is a bit further down in the FR, with the asian in the bookstore, but also pay close attention to all the other opens I did BEFORE I chatted with the asian girl…probably couldn’t have pulled her had she been my first open of the day.

    https://therationalmale.com/2016/09/05/the-best-of-the-rational-male-year-5/comment-page-2/#comment-168711

    and here’s yareally’s commentary, which you should definitely read. It will give you tons of insight.

    https://therationalmale.com/2016/09/05/the-best-of-the-rational-male-year-5/comment-page-5/#comment-168975

    as for the other guys, went to bosses group the otherday like I did before, and yup, definitely won’ts to bone me. she’d run her fingers up my spine every time she passed, and also at one point “accidentally” pushed her tits into my shoulder. she’s very gradually escalating on me lol. will write up more on it later.

  72. Bit random, but how would you approach girls at a leisure centre who are swimming. I just got back, and there was like 5 gorgeous girls during my hour there who were swimming, and there was also a gorgeous teenage lifeguard.

    I’ve spent all week memorising various openers and ‘attraction pieces’ from the mysterymethod/love systems handbook to use tonight, but none of them would really have been congruent in that environment! They were all young girls, too and I was maybe worried about creeping them out. Is game kind of ‘out of bounds’ sometimes?

    I couldn’t think of a good opener and conversation starter with the young swimmers, and with the lifeguard, I thought of maybe opening her by teasing her about secretly wanting someone to drown so she had something to do, but it was loud in there, and she was sat high up on a lifeguard chair!!

    Anyway, off out tonight I think. Hopefully a fieldreport to follow soon. I have a routine that, in theory’ ticks the boxes (since al material is from the love systems/mystery method handbook). Can’t memorise every line though, so i’ll have to ‘wing it’ if they are not attracted after my 2 ‘attraction routines’

  73. @PitBikeMike

    Not that I’m much of an example when it comes to pick up in swimming pools, but I find that many of the life guards are usually keen swimmers themselves. They also often swim for the local club.

    Often when the pool is quieter you’ll see them on the side of the pool having a quick discussion regarding people’s technique. A few times I’ve gone over and asked if they saw a flaw or anything I could improve on. That’s one way to get a conversation started if you’re concerned about coming across as creepy.

  74. Field Report:-

    I had another weird encounter on Friday evening. I was in the supermarket and I got talking to one of the female shop assistants there (I’ve spoken to her a few times as she’s quite pleasant, although I’m not interested in taking it any further than that).

    She mentioned that she had just started working having dashed from her other job working as an assistant at a local nursery school. I subsequently asked her if she had considered finding a full time teaching position, to which she replied that she really wants to teach at an infant school, and (I’m paraphrasing a little here) as she would find it vocationally satisfying to teach small children a solid foundation for the start of their lives. I replied, “teach them bad habits more like”, and she said laughing, “oi you! stop it!”.

    She was about to talk about some other mundane teaching subject, until I interrupted a little and said “If I was doing what you were, the first thing I would teach young kids to do is blow snot bubbles”. She then started laughing and said “that’s disgusting”, and I said, “Not at all, it’s a useful life skill, for example in the heat of an argument when someone is really berating you, you can blow a snot bubble (at this point I did a little action with my hand plus a sound effect to imitate a snot bubble expanding and contracting from a nostril), and it will completely knock them off track, thus winning you the argument”.

    She started laughing, but also looking a little sad and tired, said “that’s disgusting, I can’t believe you just said that, I don’t mind vomit, or excrement, but I cannot stand snot, what happens if you blow a snot bubble and it explodes?”, to which I replied “Well, it depends which direction the fall out travels in, also, snot is nowhere nearly as bad as the aforementioned, it doesn’t smell bad, although imagine if it did, there would be this awful stink constantly permeating your nose, and then I looked at her and just started laughing.

    Then the weirdest thing happened, she started wiping her eyes, and half laughing and half crying said, “That’s awful, you’ve literally made me cry”, and then one of her colleagues walked passed and she shouted out to her “he’s making me cry!”, to which her colleague replied laughing and shaking her head “tell him to go away”.

    I laughed even harder at this point, and when I stopped I said, “Are you ok? Are you on your monthly thing ?”, and she said “No, it’s been a long day and I’m just all emotion.” I then offered to give her a quick hug, but she said laughing and crying “No, you’re awful, now go away”, to which I said I would “See her later”, and walked off a little bemused to get my shopping.

  75. @PitBikeMike

    On the subject of life guards again, I also wouldn’t worry too much about approaching and talking with them, it’s a boring job just sitting there (they’ve told me as such) and are glad just to talk with someone to pass the time.

  76. OK, Field report time:

    I’d spent all week memorising various routines for opening/transition/attraction from the lovesystems/mystery method handbook so that I at least couldn’t have the excuse of ‘lack of a plan/structure’, or just plain doing everything wrong!

    My plan was to open lots of sets and really give myself a clue as to whether the routines route would help me at all – However, kind of didn’t really get the chance to do that because the first set that I opened lasted like all night!

    It was kind of weird.I was a the bar and I noticed a pretty young girl next to me who was paying for her drinks. Her purse was a Cath Kidston one. I recognised the design as I used to sell some of their stuff on ebay.

    I opened her ”Hey…Is that a Cath kidston purse?” She was unusually receptive and started talking about it. This never happens

    Now, at this point I often fuck up, but I thought i’d practice breaking rapport and kind of negging soon off of the open as was suggested.

    I said ”I can’t talk to you anymore. I hate Cath Kidston” and half turned my back on her. She looked kind of shocked but amused. She was like ”Why?!!”.

    Now, at this point i’m completely winging it and talking complete shit, but it seems to be working. I made up some stupid fake story on the spot about being ripped off and losing money from getting involved with the company. It didn’t even make sense but it didn’t seem to matter.

    Then I went into a couple of mini routines asking her about her drink and what your drink says about you as a person. I also broke rapport again my insulting her for drinking vodka and going into a short story about drinking too much of it on a holiday once.

    Anyway, she’s been given her drinks from the barman and says ”I have to get back to my sister! Bye!” and smiled. I thought ‘damn, I probably won’t see her again, but that was a very good interaction in my eyes”.

    So some time passes, me and my friends take a seat, and then this same girl and her sister sit near us. I look at her, and re-open her and accuse her of stalking me. She laughs. At this point I fall into a conversation with her sister who is also really nice and friendly and we kind of hit it off. She is like ”I’ve heard about you! My sister told me about meeting you at the bar earlier”

    After a while I go back to the original, hotter , younger girl.

    BASED ON A MIXTURE OF MY OWN INSTINCTS AND THE INPUT/ADVISE HERE My main thing at the moment is to work in more kino, more sexualising conversation, and better at hooking after the open

    So i’m kinoing her quite a lot at this point already. touches on the arm and stuff to emphasise a point. She asks me what I do and I tell her i’m a professional thumb wrestler and I take her hands. I use 2 hands and cheat to beat her straight away which makes her laugh.

    I tell them that we are moving on and I tell them to come with us. There’s a little bit of resistance, but i’m like ”Come on Up you get! We;re going” and they come with us.

    We go too a different bar. She disappears for a little while and I give her some space.

    We find each other again. I kind of isolate her..

    I’m giving her crazy eye contact and looking at her lips and stuff since, as mentioned, I feel that one of my sticking points is showing intent’. I also leave an awkward pause on purpose. Usually I hate silence, but I saw a vid where they mention the power of sexual tension through silence/eye contact – I got a slightly unexpected reaction and she kind of called me out on it and said something like ”why are you looking at me like that?” I just smiled and carried on talking..

    Then she accused me of fancying her sister. I kind of ignored her and went into a little routine where I let her ask me any 3 questions she wants too and I HAVE to tell the truth. This was to practice sexualising conversation – So I pre-empted it my kind of saying ”It can be about ANYTHING!!…my favourite food, my porn collection, my fantasies”. She asked me a few sexual questions. I lied to make myself sound more sexually experienced. She asks me what sort of girls I like and I say ”Girls like you…but with darker hair”. She cracks up. I compliment her on her blue eyes. Then I ask if I can touch them purely for self-amusement purposes. It always makes me laugh to see peoples reaction to saying that.

    We’ve been heavily kinoing a fair bit now. I’m grabbing her hips and playing with her hair and shit. Also done some dancing. I haven’t kissed her yet. I feel as though I possibly could, but i’m still unsure as to whether one SHOULD kiss when trying to pull. It seems logical, but I mainly read nowadays that you possibly DECREASE you chances of pulling if you makeout. We also weren’t isolated, and I didn’t want to go for the kiss in front of her sister and my friends and stuff.

    But It’s getting late now. I’m sure I fucked up here somehow, but I don’t have any practice in terms of logistics/seeding the pull etc etc as most of my interactions are like 25 seconds long! I’m a little out of my depth here.
    The sisters are talking about going home.
    I try the Julien ‘afterparty!’ line and lie about going back to an apartment near by and tell them to come.

    I maybe didn’t try hard enough or sell it enough, but they seemed insistent on going home. IN particular the sister of my target.

    Maybe I should have told the girl to come back with me in isolation under the pretense of hearing me play the guitar or something. Fuck knows,

    The girl says to me ”Aren’t you going to ask for my number?!!”. I actually end up giving her mine as opposed to asking for hers which is a stupid move, but I was probably drunk by now!

    However, she texted me soon after.

    So that’s basically it. Certainly a ‘success’ of sorts, at least by my standards! I haqve a pattern of alternating between half decent FR’s and extremely depressing ones, so expect a shocking FR next time where i’m getting drinks lobbed in my face!

  77. So, Friday was a bust – I had a social circle event and couldn’t go out after that – it got too late.

    But full evening’s “work” on Saturday.

    My wing flaked (he’s almost as bad as a girl although he means well and was genuinely sorry) so it was solo.

    I didn’t get anywhere close to the number of approaches I wanted to do (100+).

    I did 18 approaches.

    Good:

    -18 approaches is still probably my personal best (it’s definitely my highest number of “committed” approaches – actually opening properly and initiating convo instead of vague timid comments)

    -The approaches were varied. Quite a few situational about being served at the bar etc (my usual), but also compliments about shoes or clothes, asking girls in the line if that bar required ID etc. Also plenty of tapping on shoulders to open which is good.

    -Mix of night street game and various bars .

    -All the girls opened and responded positively, ranging from highly engaged and very positive to polite reply/smile but I didn’t continue conversations because I was trying to maximise number of opens (I didn’t count it as an open if the girl didn’t respond – but there were only a couple of those right at the end with girls who were too drunk to register or didn’t hear me over the traffic or music)

    -The total was a bit disappointing, but I finally get what Sentient says about “doing this like a job”. It’s not like I haven’t put in a lot of effort into online dating over the years, or going out cold approaching more recently. But there’s been a lot of “walk around for 2 hours and hit a few bars and go home by midnight” type stuff (and even with wings on big nights out it’s been more like 4 hours). This is literally the first time I can remember – EVER – that I did a “full day” of work – like 6pm to 2am nonstop walking around and hitting bars (and I’d have gone till 3am if I’d not had an early start) except for a brief break for dinner. I really feel like this is the level of effort I need to maintain going forward. I may not be able to keep this up during the week but I can do some daytime game on weekdays, and then go nightgame from after dinner till 2am-ish (although there will be less crowd of course).

    -Didn’t drink at all despite being very tempted.

    -Didn’t look at my phone much at all.

    -Approach anxiety was okay. I wimped out on a few sets but not that many – it was more that I never got into flow properly.

    Bad:

    -Only 18 approaches! Even in a busy downtown area with lots of street pedestrian traffic, and people in and out of bars and going into bars myself etc. No shortage of targets. Just never got into a full flow state and left too much time between approaches meaning I was mostly in my head and had to recharge and restart almost from scratch with each approach (as a result the openers weren’t all that great in terms of subcomms – they still worked though). And I was way too much in my head about what to open with each time. I know how silly that sounds – I *know* the advice is just to say ANYTHING (or “Hi”) and then calibrate off the open, but I lost way too many set opens by freezing up and “thinking of stuff to say” (with a few good instant opens which I did without thinking – like I saw a girl on the street ahead of me slow down from her group and carefully put down a drink she was carrying on the ground – and I *instantly* teased her about wasting it etc and got a good response).

    -Especially towards the end, as I got pretty tired from hours of nonstop walking, especially without any alcohol to distract me from it, my state dropped even more and I didn’t open anyone for the last 40 mins (I could have managed some low-key opens, but of course, this was the height of the “pulling time” with high energy drunk girls everywhere and I just couldn’t match the energy)

    -In fact there was a definite drop in state/energy levels over time. I was really pumped after the very first approach at 6.15pm (also had the most attraction with that one – I *would* have closed her but she got a call as she was finishing her cigarette and then she got picked up in a car) and then each subsequent open I was less pumped.

    -I am out most days over the next week and I want to work on this, but I wonder if I should stop doing solo so much and take the risk of going out with random wingmen from the local lair’s online forum. I stopped doing that (now only go out with known wings) because the results were so hit and miss when picking wings at random plus I became reasonably comfortable at going out solo – perhaps I should try them again? Like even some minimal help in maintaining state and flow has to be good right?

  78. PS I know I talk a lot about “enhanced perception” etc but really it IS getting better. Like with yesterday’s first girl, I could *feel* the attraction even after 2-3 minutes of convo with interview questions and me lightly teasing her – I *know* I could have closed her in a way I wouldn’t have registered even a few months ago. I’m also starting to trust those feelings more.

  79. @pitbikemike

    Really good job on the attraction part, nothing to add here, but this part:

    “The girl says to me ”Aren’t you going to ask for my number?!!”. I actually end up giving her mine as opposed to asking for hers which is a stupid move, but I was probably drunk by now!”

    SNL seemed likely out of the question with the sister here, all you could do in this situation is qualify her hard on the number and time-bridge her for a Day2 within 24-48 hours like YaReally explained in the middle of this comment (http://yareallyarchive.com/2015/12/#comment-rationalmale-130634)

    As for the Logistics/seeding the pull thing, I recommend giving this infield video by RSDMax a look: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ikLbhe_qzY&t=3090s

    Good luck

  80. Culum

    Stay solo. Don’t tie your learning to the variability of tour wing. Learn solo. Go hard to 8pm. Then have a nice dinner and recharge to 930. This is when most girls are on dinner dates etc. Then go hard again after. Drink some coffee at dinner…

    Hard Work being call3d hard for a reason. But… Once things click it will all become light work.

    Good luck.

    And use music to pump your state…

  81. @pitbikemike

    Great job on your last FR. Get back with that girl, you can get a lay out of this likely. If she meets up again (and she might not, girls flake like a mofo these days…which is why you always push for a SNL) she’s definitely down to fuck.

    My plan was to open lots of sets and really give myself a clue as to whether the routines route would help me at all – However, kind of didn’t really get the chance to do that because the first set that I opened lasted like all night!

    That’s the plan, open lots of sets, but if you get a good set then stick with it. When you are a little better, you can drop some sets to get more practice in with multiple sets, but now you just need to get laid.

    I opened her ”Hey…Is that a Cath kidston purse?” She was unusually receptive and started talking about it. This never happens

    Good open. See they don’t have to be fancy. However, you got this reaction because how many guys would know that’s a cath kidson purse? Its like bumping into a gangster thug type dude who then launches into a monologue on string theory. Not something you really expect.

    Now, at this point I often fuck up, but I thought i’d practice breaking rapport and kind of negging soon off of the open as was suggested.

    I said ”I can’t talk to you anymore. I hate Cath Kidston” and half turned my back on her. She looked kind of shocked but amused. She was like ”Why?!!”.

    Yeah this is good. You are forcing HER to get YOU to like her. Most guys would be like “Oh I LOOOVE Cath Kidson purses!” and you basically just tell her to fuck off lol. Mystery does something like this. Hey says “See, that’s why we’re never going to get along.” Its around the two min mark in this video I think:

    I made up some stupid fake story on the spot about being ripped off and losing money from getting involved with the company. It didn’t even make sense but it didn’t seem to matter.

    No, it doesn’t have to make sense, but you could have sexualized here. Something like “Yeah, I used to date this chick once who always had Cath Kidson purses. We used to get into all sorts of trouble together. And I can see you are just like her, troublemaker.”

    That way you are going into more sexual territory, and you are putting some pressure on her…now she has to respond to being called a troublemaker.

    I also broke rapport again my insulting her for drinking vodka and going into a short story about drinking too much of it on a holiday once.

    Good. Again, you are making her chase you. What was your story like? Not ALL of your stories have to be sexual, but ideally they should all be DHVs. Was it a party thrown for you? Did you get super drunk and then lead everyone off on a crazy adventure? Look back on this page on DHVs:

    http://www.venusianarts.com/how-to-write-dhv-stories/

    Remember,

    Preselected By Women
    Protector of Loved Ones
    Humor
    Leader of Men
    Successful Risk-taker
    World Traveler
    Willingness to Emote
    Social Alignments

    As a pua, you want to be as efficient as possible. You want every look, every word, every gesture to be supercharged with sexual intent and high value. That’s why what would take an average dude three DAYS to accomplish, would only take three HOURS for a pua to do. So just keep that in mind as you tell these stories: can you sexualize them more? can you add more DHVs to them?

    It can help to write these out in advance. I have several longer dhvs, like one about dating this hot south american chick who was scared of everything and one time when a manager thought I was about to rob a store.

    Anyway, she’s been given her drinks from the barman and says ”I have to get back to my sister! Bye!” and smiled. I thought ‘damn, I probably won’t see her again, but that was a very good interaction in my eyes”.

    Yeah that can happen. You can often find them again, as was what happened.

    So some time passes, me and my friends take a seat, and then this same girl and her sister sit near us.

    big ioi. was she facing you when she sat down, or did she have her back turned?

    I look at her, and re-open her and accuse her of stalking me.

    Good way to re-open. Again, SHE is chasing YOU.

    At this point I fall into a conversation with her sister who is also really nice and friendly and we kind of hit it off. She is like ”I’ve heard about you! My sister told me about meeting you at the bar earlier”

    lol nice. you’re already starting to used jealousy plotlines. she wanted to chat with you…but then you are getting into her sister lol. so now she has to win you back over.

    Plus, a good thing to note here is that girls don’t really realize they like you until they get jealous. That why jealousy plotlines work so well. Once she sees you hit it off with another woman, thats when she’ll want to get you for herself.

    She asks me what I do and I tell her i’m a professional thumb wrestler and I take her hands. I use 2 hands and cheat to beat her straight away which makes her laugh.

    Good good. What would a normal guy do? He’d answer a boring “Oh I work as a teller at suchandsuch bank” YAWN. But you don’t take her seriously, and then you use the whole thumb wrestling bit to go into kino…and then cheat to get even more kino and be even more playful.

    That’s a great routine, and I’m stealing it lol. I think I will use that whenever someone asks me what I do for a living.

    I tell them that we are moving on and I tell them to come with us. There’s a little bit of resistance, but i’m like ”Come on Up you get! We;re going” and they come with us.

    Good being persistent here.

    We go too a different bar. She disappears for a little while and I give her some space.

    Careful you don’t lose her. Her BT is fairly high here, which guys with game will notice and they can poach her easily. Once you pick out a girl, stick on her until the bang, don’t leave her.

    I’m giving her crazy eye contact and looking at her lips and stuff since, as mentioned, I feel that one of my sticking points is showing intent’. I also leave an awkward pause on purpose. Usually I hate silence, but I saw a vid where they mention the power of sexual tension through silence/eye contact

    yeah its triangle gazing when you look between her eyes and her lips. pauses create tension. they help to build up sexual tension.

    I got a slightly unexpected reaction and she kind of called me out on it and said something like ”why are you looking at me like that?” I just smiled and carried on talking..

    shit test, which you passed.

    Then she accused me of fancying her sister.

    lol. ioi, she wants to know if you are really into you, and is also kind of a shit test where she’s trying to throw you off.

    I kind of ignored her and went into a little routine where I let her ask me any 3 questions she wants too and I HAVE to tell the truth. This was to practice sexualising conversation – So I pre-empted it my kind of saying ”It can be about ANYTHING!!…my favourite food, my porn collection, my fantasies”. She asked me a few sexual questions.

    yeah, see, not hard to drop in sexual stuff. her asking you sexual questions is an ioi…if she didn’t like you, would she bring that up? Which brings up something…when you bring up sexual things like this, leave an out. Give her a nonsexual option. You did this here with the favorite food bit. This way, you can tell how much attraction you have…if she had gone with the food option, it either means she isn’t comfortable bringing up sexual stuff (she’s shy, she’s got an orbiter around, etc.) or she isn’t attracted to you yet. It also prevents it from getting to akward…if she isn’t comfortable with sexual topics yet…and you only bring up sexual topics…well what is she going to say? lol

    but here she asked you sexual stuff, so like I say, ioi.

    I lied to make myself sound more sexually experienced.

    yeah always do that. once a girl is attracted to you, she’ll just ASSUME you are, because she wouldn’t be attracted to you if you weren’t a sexually experienced man. lol, that’s how women’s minds work…if she’s attracted to you, it MUST be because you’re an awesome dude, because she would NEVER be attracted to a guy who wasn’t cool.

    She asks me what sort of girls I like and I say ”Girls like you…but with darker hair”.

    Good neg, you’ve used it before and its a good one. Its a subtle one. You aren’t outright saying something bad about her, but the implication is there.

    I compliment her on her blue eyes. Then I ask if I can touch them purely for self-amusement purposes. It always makes me laugh to see peoples reaction to saying that.

    Lol, also a mystery bit. He adds something to it like “Oh, almost forgot” and then licks his finger before moving to “touch” her eyes. Just makes the whole thing more ridiculous and playful.

    I haven’t kissed her yet. I feel as though I possibly could, but i’m still unsure as to whether one SHOULD kiss when trying to pull. It seems logical, but I mainly read nowadays that you possibly DECREASE you chances of pulling if you makeout.

    Well, kissing is fine. A brief kiss. You don’t want a full on makeout grope fest until you are going to bang right there. Because otherwise you kill the tension. You stractched the itch. But a quick kiss is fine.

    We also weren’t isolated, and I didn’t want to go for the kiss in front of her sister and my friends and stuff.

    Good call there. But you can still build tension even there…with eye contact, breaking rapport tonality, dancing, etc.

    I’m sure I fucked up here somehow, but I don’t have any practice in terms of logistics/seeding the pull etc etc as most of my interactions are like 25 seconds long! I’m a little out of my depth here.

    Good for going for the longer interactions. You’ll get better at it with more practice.

    I maybe didn’t try hard enough or sell it enough, but they seemed insistent on going home. IN particular the sister of my target.

    Yeah, girls can sense when girls have high BT. That’s why you’ll have a friend come up and say “Lets go to the bathroom real quick”. It gets her away from you so her BT can calm down. When your target returns, she’ll be back to square one.

    Girls do this because they can see their friend/sister wants to fuck you, so they’ll step in to prevent it. Its why you want to befriend the obsticles, or at least get away from them.

    The girl says to me ”Aren’t you going to ask for my number?!!”.

    Major ioi here. Now, you can possibly get her to go with you here by not giving her you number, or taking hers. That way she HAS to go with you that night, or never see you again. This can get past a lot of resistance. However, for where you are now, I’d just go for the number close. When you get better, you can risk dropping some lays and try not exchanging numbers and going for the SNL.

    However, she texted me soon after.

    another ioi. meet up with this girl ASAP. I’d pick out a location right next to your apartment. It shouldn’t take long to get her back into the mood she was in this past time (but remember, she won’t START OUT that way, you’ll have to game her a bit first) and once you get there pull her to your apartment to bang.

    So that’s basically it. Certainly a ‘success’ of sorts, at least by my standards!

    Its a huge success. You did a lot of sold negs and routines and such. Very good. And you had enough attraction with this girl to theoretically bang her. So like I say meet up with her ASAP, run through a quick day 2, then pull her to your place for the bang.

    so expect a shocking FR next time where i’m getting drinks lobbed in my face!

    yeah, you want that to happen sometimes. if you aren’t getting huge reactions, then you aren’t pushing hard enough. so if you are out there pushing your boundaries, you’l have days like that. you’ll be really good when you can go from having a girl throw a drink at you to having her bang you later that night.

    solid work, you’re probably the best newbie that’s been on this site. keep it up.

  82. Hi, @Hank – Thanks for your thoughts. I love how you and a few others give such detail in taking the time to break down peoples FR’s.

    ”Good. Again, you are making her chase you. What was your story like?”

    To be honest, it wasn’t anything in the way of DHV. It was just a short, funny story about getting drunk on a holiday I once took. I’ll try to remember to add in sexual/dhv elements into stories that I tell. Even though it’s all pure fiction! 🙂

    ”big ioi. was she facing you when she sat down, or did she have her back turned?”

    The place had a weird seating layout with tables/chars that snake around the outside of the bar so me and my friends were almost in a row sitting next too each other – it’s kind of hard to explain, but she kind of sat next too me, kind of facing the same direction as me.

    ”That’s a great routine, and I’m stealing it lol”

    LOL. I made it up 🙂 – I guess, in a way, we all use ‘routines’. I mean, I find myself saying the same little comebacks and stuff to my friends at a BBQ because I think a certain line is funny and I know it get’s a good reaction, and so it makes sense to use it?

    ”Careful you don’t lose her. Her BT is fairly high here, which guys with game will notice and they can poach her easily. Once you pick out a girl, stick on her until the bang, don’t leave her.”

    Yeah, I was internally panicking a bit here. I also saw some guy approach her at some point, but it didn’t last long.

    ”Good neg, you’ve used it before and its a good one. Its a subtle one”

    Good memory! Yes, it’s another one I made up on the spot before and it got a good reaction, and so I figure why not always use it.

    ”Lol, also a mystery bit. He adds something to it like “Oh, almost forgot” and then licks his finger before moving to “touch” her eyes. Just makes the whole thing more ridiculous and playful.”

    It’s funny, but I didn’t even know that was a mystery thing. It just came to me one day – probably because i’m obsessed with girls with pretty eyes and probably DO want to touch them deep down on some sub-conscious level! haha

Speak your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s