For the past three years of The Rational Male there’s been a consistent presence in the comment threads of guys seeking advice for particular situations with regards to Game. Whether it’s fine tuning certain aspects of Game or a larger consensus of the guys participating in my comment threads it’s become obvious there’s a need for a dedicated page and comment thread to address these Field Reports.
So I’m instituting this page for exactly this. If there is some urgency to have members of The Rational Male community analyze your particular situation feel free to hit anyone up in the comments of my current post, but please refer them to your particular field report with a link to your comment here. I’m hoping this will alleviate the mass of posts for field report analysis and Game specific insights piled into the main blog post for any given week.
There will be some rules for this “forum” as such. I ask that you only keep your comments to addressing the field reports at hand and save your larger theoretical stuff for the main posts, or if relevant, keep the “bigger scope of things” posts to being as succinct as possible. There will be no moderation in this comment thread (spamming excepted), so realize it will be a very hot kitchen before you post. I will impose no restrictions on video links here, nor will I limit links to various, but pertinent articles.
Understand, this is an experiment for now. It’s likely this comment thread will exceed thousands of comments. I’ll be instituting new comment plug-ins for wordpress to deal with this in the future, but I may archive this page the the posts and refresh this page in the future as well. If this gets cumbersome I may simply institute a dedicated forum-style sub-site of The Rational Male to accommodate for Game specific questions.
So have at it, post your field reports and feel free to comment on the ones you have some particular insight for. Be forewarned that it’s likely things may get a bit salty at times and I expect a lot of back & forth with debate and disagreements, but that’s what this thread is for – to hash out Game particulars for your given situations.
@pitbike
As an example, I was at a bar and a guy I know whistled at a pretty girl passing by, then ducked…the girl saw me, thought I had whistled, then grinned…I grinned back, holding eye contact…I let the fish go…I could have motioned at her to come over to me…”you look like trouble”
Pitbikemike THE MYSTERY METHOD: I don’t mind reading it. Hard to believe yet another game book will help, but it doesn’t cost me much to find out. Though, lots of people have told me that it’s all outdated and not much use in the current seduction community. Just realize that most of the game books you read are just cribbing or short cutting Mystery’s work… except Bang… that just blows. Mystery will give you the end to end background, linking all of the things you are missing. I went to MM after having a lot of success, then getting inconsistent… Read more »
@pitbikemike Welcome! Let’s start from the top. -Props on all the study and approaches! You’re doing a lot more than most guys lol if you keep up the effort we should be able to get you around eventually. You literally won’t even recognize the words and emotions you have about sex now, it’ll blow your mind. -There are obstacles, but they can be overcome. I’m a good-looking guy and so my sets tend to just blow open more often even if I don’t do anything crazy good, and that’s nice, but you can learn to accomplish that other ways as… Read more »
Basically our first job is to get girls shit-testing you. They’re mostly being friendly currently, and that means you’re not triggering attraction.
@sentient. Yeah, I will read it. ”Struggling to open with more than ‘hi”’ – Well, I could easily open by asking ”who lies more, men or women??” or whatever. There’s no real ‘struggle’ for me to do that. It’s just that it feels so weird and inauthentic to me, if you know what I mean. I actually have tried a few opens like that in my earlier attempts and they tended to generally get me a reaction of confusion or, in one case, someone said ”I’ve heard that before! It’s a pickup line!”. I’m not sure a book will give… Read more »
@pitbikemike no time right now, but the rest of these guys know what’s what… and will put you on the path to poon… (and hank and Culum, you guys should weigh in on these situs… it’s GREAT practice…) Is 60 approaches per lay a good hit rate out of interest? nope… MM goal (and completely attainable once you understand the dynamics in play and practice up…) is 5 for 5… for every 5 “approaches” (targets) you get 5 bangs…with the girl you targeted… calibration, yo!…lol completely doable… (not kidding) although to be honest, if Mystery had been more RP (and… Read more »
@pitbikemike Didn’t know that you were a total beginner…learning to mate with girls is a process, just like other skills… first you start with unconscious incompetence–you’re unskilled and unaware of your lack of skill then conscious incompetence–you’re unskilled, but trying to learn and trying hard then conscious competence–you’re skilled, but you have to consciously put forth effort to succeed finally you arrive at Valhalla…unconscious competence–where you are authentic and effortless When you achieve unconscious competence–which I am still working at when it comes to being fun and engaging–whatever comes out of your mouth will help achieve success. How are your… Read more »
@Pitbikemike Well done on getting out there….it takes time. Think of any skill, activity or sport you first started…same with game. As for instructional materials…I would highly recommend anything from Krauser. For me “DayGame Mastery” is THE BEST. You can find it online. It has a step-by-step guide that goes into more detail than the Mystery Method which is excellent but more theoretical. Krauser gets into the whole idea of approaching from Mindset, to a simple model to follow, to trouble-shooting, text game—everything. As for this: “”I worry that there’s a fair chance that I won’t get laid again (other… Read more »
@pitbike I’m not officially a PUA…I’m an old fart and I go dancing and dance with probably 10 or more different girls when I’m out–some are hot and some are not…I get plenty of rejections and one envious idiot calls me “Creeper” even tho I’m just out to dance. Girls frequently rub themselves against me and are “lit up” when we dance…sometimes young girls palm my butt or pinch me or rub their titties against my arm. So, there’s obviously some sexual attraction being generated. I am not ostentatious with spending or clothing and don’t buy girls drinks, so I… Read more »
Pitbikemike There’s no real ‘struggle’ for me to do that. It’s just that it feels so weird and inauthentic to me, if you know what I mean. What does ‘struggle” mean to you then? The biggest ‘gains” you can make are identifying your buffers, then doing something about them. So here, because it feels ‘weird and inauthentic” you revert to “hi!” with a big smile… That is a buffer and that is a struggle to overcome. Please get honest with yourself. Tell me does involuntary celibacy feel good and authentic? This is a large part of “the work (TM)”… in… Read more »
yeah that whole bit from 40:30 to 1:02 is great… open threads galore, push pull… he does one thing wrong though…
@ pitbikemike Greetings and welcome. I am not a pua. I’m an old man. I’m married ( twice ) and I have 2 daughters ( blood ) and 1 step daughter. So indulge me as I attempt to give some advice that I hope you can get something useful out of. Getting laid is the easiest thing on planet earth, and yet it can be painfully hard at the same time. It boils down to opportunity and skill. There is no such thing as ” never getting laid again ” when you consider that a few billion people are fucking… Read more »
“…he does one thing wrong though…” LOL. Uses Mystery Method Game as Sport. Instead of to close. Well you got to give him credit, he was making an instructional video. He was being instead of doing. Which may not be all bad. The best thing to do is have a balance between being and doing. But that is a paradox, once again, and it is illustrated by PitbikeMike’s conundrum. In order to get into state and just enjoy the being, you have to have previously done lots of shit. To have put yourself out on the ledge and really challenged… Read more »
There you go again Blaximus. It took me a long time to compose my last comment and I did not read yours prior to typing mine.
lol today and yesterday have bee n total shit. I made one indirect approach yesterday at the grocery store, and another indirect approach today, neither of which I was able to transition so I bailed. I passed up multiple really good opportunities. Like tonight, while walking down the aisle, I had a solid 5 minutes to say something to this bored looking girl checking out the cereal section, but in my head I was just like “hitting on girls out in the open like this is just weird lol, who does this shit?” even though i’ve done just that several… Read more »
CSP
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CSP
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@safespaceplaypen ” was just like “hitting on girls out in the open like this is just weird lol, who does this shit?” even though i’ve done just that several times before” lol If you feel uncomfortable doing something in the open….. You should do it in the open..till your comfortable with it. “I think at this point i’m just going to stop using indirect approaches for a while just cause i’ve never had any successes with them yet lol and even when I fail with going direct i still feel cool lol” Go direct………..mm teaches the perfect way to go… Read more »
@Safespace Lol sometimes your brain just fucking rebels. It’s fine, better go next time. Bars are designed to make approaches comfortable. You can take advantage of that. Of course, daygame will give you the advantage of standing out more for approaching and having less competition. Just “Why are there so many types of cereals? Who comes here thinking ‘Hmm, I’m gonna choose the exact flavor of cereal I like from these like 200 choices?’ Get a giggle, banter, then “so what are you up to right now?” Memorize that. It gives you a chance to branch the convo, and it… Read more »
Heh, @Blax is the king at mindset. Newbs, this is the way you eventually want to be. Try to get glimpses of it now. This should be fun and natural.
Thanks for popping in Blax, you give a great perspective check on the technical shit we ponder here.
A couple of things…. I got an undergraduate degree in pre-med. What I didn’t realize until years later that it had half of the curriculum in liberal arts. And I lived a life one foot in what I was supposed to do and then one foot in all other. My studies, my professional degree, my residencies, my job, thereafter, marriage, fatherhood. What came to pass was that this all other took a life of it’s own. And it made the doing one’s job much more palatable. In game, you have to be fun and add value. That’s much easier if… Read more »
Heh, Shiitakes and eggplants.
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y220/Derm95/IMG_20131016_164612_230.jpg
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y220/Derm95/DSC_2793.jpg
Alright @pitbikemike, let’s pick this FR apart a bit so we can see what’s the score. My main objective is to give you a better idea of the dynamics that are going on in your social interactions – both good and bad – so that you can see how your actions are actually impacting things. This lets you calibrate. “Sex has always been something that either ‘happens to other guys’ or something that I used to think people just LIED about having! It just seemed to come too easy to some people for me to actually believe them when they… Read more »
Thanks @forge the sky, Blaximus and sentient Forge, i’m glad that you understand that my concern about never getting laid again isn’t just be being melodramatic. I’m not a pessimist but a realist, and I base my concerns on previous life experience. When I told someone on seddit that my goal was to get laid once in 2017, he said ”Once?…Why not 200 times/different girls?” To me, that was just silly. If I ran a business that made 10k in year one, 9k in year 2, 11k in year 3, 10k in year 4, i’d expect about 10k in year… Read more »
@SJF
Heh, I still want to make a shiitake patch(?) sometime after having seen yours. I’ve tried hunting morels but the fuckers are more elusive than wife material.
PitBikeMike uh oh… I feel it was basically ‘in the bag’ but between the skinful of alcohol, the fact that she wasn’t completely my type, and the fact that I didn’t want to be stranded out of town and pay a fortune to get home on my own meant that I decided to turn down the 80%+ possibility of sex and share a cheap cab with my friends. Let’s not be that guy… the guy who comes here… gets a ton of good advice and then goes on to continue to insert buffers into the game, denying his success to… Read more »
Not to pile on to anyone’s learning load, but I feel this audio should be somewhere in this thread. Classic PUA blueprint/motivation.
http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/realsocialdynamics.com_audio.mp3
Hmm, not sure why it parsed like that, lemme try it like this:
http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/realsocialdynamics.com_audio.mp3
If that doesn’t work – not like it’s hard to fish out the url from the formatting, y’all are savy enough.
@Forge
“Heh, I still want to make a shiitake patch….”
Mid April–you come to my farm and help me inoculate the logs that we cut down fresh. Five inch diameter logs, 36 inches long. You have to haul about 12 of these home and stack them like lincoln logs in the shade. They fruit either the following November or the next April.
@pitbikemike
got an eye on your comment, will reply this evening or tomorrow afternoon depending on availability. Gotta get you primed for the weekend!
@SJF
Sounds like a plan!
Yesterday was pretty good. I only approached 2 girls though. It was an interesting experience, mainly because prior to my first approach of the day, I was feeling really fucking bummed out. In the afternoon I set some time to day game, saw a few opportunities, but didn’t execute because I wasn’t really “that into it”, so I pussed out everytime a girl passed by. Kind of like when a top level boxer wins over another top level boxer because “he wanted it more”, the whole day I didn’t “want more of anything” at all. There were actually brief, 5… Read more »
@safespaceplaypen I’m not a PUA, but I would hope to give you a minor pep talk by talking about abstract thoughts on your last field report. Over the last couple years here we have talked about Marc Lewis’ concept of the the neuroplastic brain. Basically re-wiring how your brain works and getting out of rut of habit or addiction. You need to re-wire by actively engaging, while at the same time being aware of and avoiding “Gumption Traps”. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gumption_trap The following is based on Marc Lewis’ work here: (I’m only allowed two links, so here is the first and part… Read more »
Tonight I will go out again for about 4 hours. My main goal is to make 3 approaches per hour, which isn’t likely to happen, but i’m going to make it happen somehow lol. I’m looking forward to it so it’ll be a pretty good night. A few things I’ll have to focus on is (a) following the 3-second rule, (b) making sure I have my default opener(s) at the top of my mind, and (c) trying to build rapport and close as soon as openers been set Following the 3-second rule is really difficult. In fact, a weird phenomena… Read more »
@SJF lol that’s some really cool info you linked. It explains my AA – and probably other’s AA – very well. While at the gym I was actually thinking of this exact issue, “Why do I get nervous one moment, but cocky the next? Why do I feel like a boss one second, but than stop feeling like a boss the next?” I unscientifically concluded lol that it had to be either that i just don’t have enough experience and need to get more, or that my mind is just in the wrong place at the wrong time and I… Read more »
@Sefespaceplaypen: quick, look at this page. scroll to each pic and imagine a conversation with each. Good practice to look hot chicks in the eye and just rattle off the different “Hi, hey, hello, what’s up” to each girl. http://thechive.com/2017/02/17/there-are-sexy-chivers-among-us-60-photos-27/ Each girl has a different personality. Try to determine this in the split second and use an open you think would work best. Try to pick something out about her outfit and riff on that too. As Sentient said, fear is a buffer we hold onto like a security blanket. When all else fails, say “hi” That’s it. They are… Read more »
@ safespace “which isn’t likely to happen” Why do you think this? Do you feel a need to qualify your potential? You might surprise yourself eliminating this internal dialogue. It’s a subtle buffer that can be overcome. “I’m looking forward to it so it’ll be a pretty good night.” It’s supposed to be fun, you deserve it, and others will feed off your upbeat nature right into your frame. Happy hunting. @ SJF Have you encountered Seligman’s Learned Optimism and if so, in your opinion do you find any clinical value? I enjoy the repeating theme, eliminating malignant internal dialogues,… Read more »
@Safe I wasn’t really “that into it” … ….which isn’t likely to happen Following the 3-second rule is really difficult… knowing that i’ll have to actually follow the 3-second rule makes the moment I enter daunting… But the process “feeeeels” fucking brutal and takes boat loads of commitment… This will be hard to implement but I’ll have to add it to my repertoire…. Gosh, maybe you can just keep saying Yabba Dabba Do! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpGx4foRdPw Instead of DABDA, DABDA Don’t! I’ve never seen someone in the manosphere tap dance in and out of all the Kubler-Ross Stages of Grief the way… Read more »
@Eh “Have you encountered Seligman’s Learned Optimism and if so, in your opinion do you find any clinical value? I enjoy the repeating theme, eliminating malignant internal dialogues, offered in different ways from commenters here.” No I haven’t. But I’m a little unique (well maybe a lot unique) in that I never really had any malignant internal dialogues. (Although I had many frustrations along the way). I never really had any depressive dialogues, any serious bodily aches or pains, no broken bones, never had a headache I remembered, never had a backache for more than a day. (And every time… Read more »
@playpen lol that’s some really cool info you linked. It explains my AA – and probably other’s AA – very well. I have zero anxiety ever. Once you get to unconscious competence, you will have zero anxiety because you have a habit of being successful at a task. You can use dancing to achieve that when it comes to approaching women. Go to group dance lessons at your local dance studio for some lead/follow dance of your choice (e.g., swing, ballroom, salsa, or country) and do the studio parties on Friday/Saturday nights. Focus on asking beginners to dance. Don’t worry… Read more »
I hadn’t ever had depression, emotional injuries and frankly, when my parents died, couple murdered friends, I didn’t really think it disturbing other than the logistics of burying them.
“I never say anything but positive things about Red Pill”
Dead nuts on. RP was my mother tongue, thus the reconstruction, albeit difficult at times, was certain. There was no doubt of the result when I started.
Have a great weekend.
CSP
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CSP
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CSP
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@pitbikemike So I’m 32. I’m nearly a virgin. (Had sex a few times as a kid (like aged 18), and then again at the age of 30 after reading my first ever pickup book! It was just luck, though) Yeah, being nearly a virgin is like being nearly pregnant. You either are or you aren’t. Lol. So already from the get go you’ve got a very negative mindset, where you are taking an accomplishment but then trying to write it off as if it never happened. You got laid before. You got laid on several different occasions. There’s no reason… Read more »
CSP
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CSP
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@forge okay, I’ll try the phenibut for a couple days when I get the chance. already working on a non-inflammatory diet. changing a lot of what I eat, no desserts sugar corn syrup stuff fast food, and very limited gluten. mostly just vegetables and meat, and trying to have mostly fish/seafood as meat. also have been using supplements that have ginger and tumaric in them, as well as fish oil with EPA. Today I got some better ones, a EPA focused fish oil that has twice the amount per capsule as what the other one did, another that has many… Read more »
@pitbikemike One of them was a 9. Easily. As hot as hell. My brother said she was like the prettiest girl he’d seen all year, lol. I opened her. Which at least 90% of men would never do Turns out she is a lawyer in training and a stripper/dancer! How original! I’ll spoil the story for you She won’t end up a lawyer, lol, but she might stay a stripper! That’s a weird combination so I kind of pressed her on it and asked her a few questions about her work and why she chose them things (most material i’ve… Read more »
Lol these last two nights have been pretty tough lol. I won’t get into the detail of them because I don’t have too much time but I’ll describe them because they’ve been beneficial to me and I learned a few things Friday Night: I approached 4 sets. This is the most I’ve ever approached in one night lol. I briefly “warmed up” by complementing a girls clothing. Then I didn’t waste that psychological momentum – I quickly made my first approach of a 2-set. This first one was pretty good. I wish I had pushed it further. Basically, my goal… Read more »
Safespace Good insight on yourself in posting the field report. Finding yourself being too logical is a tell that you are too into your own head. You are just being yourself–a logical man treating women as men. They are not picking up on it. Your job is to be fun and add value to their emotional experience, not to get something for yourself (that will come in time). Be fun and add value to them and give them an emotional experience by you not being logical and boring. Lighten up Frances and take chances outside your comfort zone. Push to… Read more »
CSP
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CSP
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@Hank Holiday Thanks for your feedback. I like the whole getting the Italian girls to teach me more sexual/flirty phrases. I honestly can’t remember what I asked them to teach me, as that FR is from a good few months back (I save all of my FR’s onto a personal MS wordpad, mainly for my own reading!) Regarding teh girl in the big fur coat ”I like your coat – You look like a Russian spy!” opener. What should I have actually said after that when she was ignoring me? I find it hard to talk when a girl just… Read more »
Pitbikemike
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTeGWMEwIiA
yet, no matter how I opened, a lot of the times I got an instant rejection.
Creating value… pacing…
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXfrBcxIDus
Rejection? Cold read, spike emotion, don’t be reactive to her vibe… no neediness… set the frame… don’t chase…
Her lines: “Excuse me? Get with the program? Get with my program…” “You have me so pegged wrong”… “Am I intimidated? No I could actually care less.”
Which do you bail on?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiQpAVX7JNA
Mike – blow outs happen… move along. but DON’T use them as a buffer…
Dear readers, I feel that I have been catching glimpses of what the community calls ‘The Matrix’ for years now but have simultaneously resisted my un-plugging. I feel that I may have finally done so, however, and have taken the red pill. Hence I am asking for advice on my road forward. Having just read The Rational Male, I feel I have an understanding of the nature of our reality but what I am lacking are the practical means to take advantage of it. I clearly need to learn game. I am just wondering whether you know of any good… Read more »
@SJF Thanks for the response. Learning this stuff is really fucking hard lol. Its a big commitment. every inch of my body as I go up to a girl is like “lol wtf are you doing? don’t do this shit. do something else lol, just not this!” YaReally and Scray (lol wish he would comment again too damn) and Julien weren’t joking when they said this was a lifestyle commitment and it would take years to get good. But even after only 2 weeks of daily approaches I can see some notable improvements. (1) I notice talking to strangers is… Read more »
lol also another weird improvement is that often now, when I’m in conversation with friends or acquaintances or even with people I don’t know, I naturally feel inclined to dominate the course of the convo through use of jokes, teases, stories, rambles, and so on. Like, when a friend tries to get under my skin, its become natural for me to not really give a shit and reframe everything, or “agree-and-amplify”. This is an interesting phenomena
“Learning this stuff is really fucking hard lol. Its a big commitment.”
What’s the alternative to it being really fucking hard and a big commitment?
https://therationalmale.com/2011/08/26/buffers/
“But even after only 2 weeks of daily approaches I can see some notable improvements.”
Have you paused today to ask yourself: “How the hell did that happen?”
Don’t settle.
Rejection actually is better than regret.
“…when I’m in conversation with friends or acquaintances or even with people I don’t know, I naturally feel inclined to dominate the course of the convo through use of jokes, teases, stories, rambles, and so on. Like, when a friend tries to get under my skin, its become natural for me to not really give a shit and reframe everything, or “agree-and-amplify”…” That’s a phase. Not quite an attractive one. If you pause to notice, the people you are uncomfortable with the new you. They would rather keep you in your old place. But it is a necessary one to… Read more »
Hey guys (Sentient HABD Wala Hank Forge and the gang) Have been scanning this thread a bit but I’ve started a new Blitz and I’ve been trying to stay away from TRM comments because I don’t want to post more and more FRs without making progress in taking action re cold approach. But last night I did make some progress, so I figure I’ll record it. Oh – and welcome to the newbies – this place is a very valuable community and the quality of the advice here is like gold dust (even after YaReally and Scray left) – stick… Read more »
@Dario – read this thread to start with – particularly the advice to the other newbies in the last week.
Read the YaReally Archive (PARTICULARLY the post where he lists his key resources/recommendations for newbies).
Take ACTION and record your FRs and post them here for advice.
And welcome!
CSP
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CSP
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God damn, yesterday was terrible. I didn’t make a single approach. Today is terrible as well. I had a great opportunity earlier today and I blew it, and then I tried walking around looking for more opportunities but the thought of failing the first opportunity made the rest of the time 10x more stressful. I called it quits to get my shit together. Soon i’ll be back out to try again lol. Every day now is stressful unless I make an adequate approach. Only then will I feel “content” with how the day went. I really wish there were some… Read more »
“I really wish there were some bars/clubs nearby that were busy weekday nights. “
Well I bet that there are… I mean, i’ve been all over and even in no light towns there is a spot. Now “busy” may be a half a dozen or so… but they are there.
else – are there coffee shops? books stores? Movie theaters?
I feel like a lot of my time is being wasted walking around during the day.
How convenient?!?
Culum
I’ve also been doing some online dating on the side.
Sugar sites or sugar free?
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vU52ZnKSMjw/U_O8C8yodDI/AAAAAAAAAW8/G4Yi0PrzM1A/s1600/compliance.bmp
Over and over and over, then lead.
Every day now is stressful unless I make an adequate approach. Only then will I feel “content” with how the day went. The following is not meant to judgmental or disparaging. It is simply objective comment on your field report. That right there is incel talk. You are desperate and fixated on the opening. You are in a mind loop rut. Go out and engage in nine other things in addition to focus on game and pick-up. “…coffee shops? books stores? Movie theaters?” There is coffee to be drunk, there are books to read, movies to see, exercise to be… Read more »
@Sentient – both. But the two examples in the last FR were both from a sugar site. Dunno just feel a bit discouraged from last night. Had another online date – should stop seeing epiphany age chicks. Even when there is decent attraction, it’s insanely hard to escalate because all their programming is in full block mode especially when I’m such an obviously good catch for them. Then I went to another of my regular Latin dance nights. Yeah, I opened every girl who came near etc but also got pretty drunk when I didn’t mean to. Checked out some… Read more »
Culum
“Sometimes I wonder why I keep doing this. ”
Freedom?
“I just don’t know what to do. ”
Yes you DO. HABD has said it… treat every cold approach like you are meeting your sugar baby…
Short set method (or RSD Luke’s variant). Or just have a rule that for one night I’ll only open direct. Or SOMETHING to break the fucking pattern.
Fuck that… you KNOW. You just need to BELIEVE… Treat every open like meeting your sugar baby… more techno is more buffer…
(age- 27) Just looking for a place to get this off of my chest. Sort of an FR. There is a chick (She’s 22, fresh out of college) at work who is into me. But I am trying my hardest not to shit where I eat, because that would open up a can of worms no man should endure (The overwhelming majority of the staff is female and the staff is small). Here is the catch, I am a teacher in a foreign country. She’s hot. And touchy. We flirt a lot. And I love that aspect of the interaction.… Read more »
Culum
You just need to really believe that every girl a) wants your cock, b) needs your cock and c) it would be rude of you to deny her your cock, it would be a sin against the universe to do so. Then qualify her…
God I have thought so much about taking here into that bathroom and just grabbing her and taking her pants off.
How do you think Penthouse Forums got started?
It is not illegal to fuck a girl you work with. Do if you want to. Everyone already thinks you are.
I just want to get my dick sucked
Sleepless in Thailand? Thailand!!!!
@SJF its really not that simple bro. ignoring that i’m an incel is as ridiculous as ignoring i have two arms lol, and i can’t spend my days doing nine different things while learning pickup and trying to get laid. There simply isn’t enough time. My life is already full of shit to deal with. Pickup and getting laid is front in center, all due to the very fact that i’ve done all the things you recommended – I have hobbies, network of people, a good workout routine, stuff like that – and it hasn’t gotten me laid. I also… Read more »
@Culum
cold approach is just a fancy pua tech term for ‘meeting new people’… lol… don’t impute so much baggage…
and don’t give up…
not a lot of time lately, but fortunately I don’t need a lot to fix your issues (which are all the FI pushing on you/buffers)… lol
no more bars…
work it out…
ps see SJF at 5:14
good luck!
By the way, today i didn’t make an approach at all. It was a failure of a day. My fundamental problem today was that i didn’t follow the “3-second” rule, which caused me to overthink what I was going to say to this girl sitting at a bench. My overthinking cranked into overdrive the more and more I waited to say hey. I felt like I was processing a thousand different openers, with a thousand different hypotheticals and tangents all within a few seconds lol, and none of which i was satisfied in using to say hey to this girl.… Read more »
@Sentient yes. Don’t worry having no issues there. Just want this chick. nice chemistry.
@Safespace I’m not trying to be argumentative or harsh. I’m not trying to be judgmental, even if I am. I am trying to knock you out of your rut. its really not that simple bro. ignoring that i’m an incel is as ridiculous as ignoring i have two arms lol, and i can’t spend my days doing nine different things while learning pickup and trying to get laid. I’ll be the first one to say that it is not simple. Life is very complex and vicious. I’m totally amazed that I can enjoy life at 55 y.o. without having died… Read more »
Culum. You keep going back to drink from the poison we’ll of sugar sites and milfs….your game won’t improve until you get a grip and stop treating every setback as a failure anduse that to go back to he familiar. Take a barrista class…join yoga…study a language or a Latin dance…go places where you’re not forced into awkward situations that seem to make you retreat into your own head. By doing something that you like or that interests you, you have a chance to game a better class of women or at the very least learn how to make a… Read more »
@ Safespace and @All I saw a pingback to Pat Stedman’s blog on recent comments. He had a great article on Frame and how it relates to Pickup. http://patstedman.com/2016/07/25/what-is-frame/ The Difference Between Frame And Skill. (And Which One Is More Important) There’s a reason why most Pick Up Artists not only struggle long-term with women and tend to be loners socially: they are high on skill, but weak on frame. Let me explain. Pick Up Artists (and 95% of guys asking for dating advice) understand – or are at least trying to understand – female psychology and learn how to… Read more »
“A confident guy who is incompetent with women will gradually lose control over her frame and, consequently, her interest.” Yesterday @ pub, empty but my friend, and youngish dating couple on other end. Dating guy is blathering on and on, I can tell she’s feigning interest…he’s now on phone, minutes go by… My friend steps away and I go boyfriend destroyer. Stroll to the end of the bar, step kinda between them, drag my eyes over her. Me speaking slowly: Weather’s nice…because you can wear those little shoes…and tight jeans. Now she’s wary, interested, subtle smile, head tilted down, eyes… Read more »
ehhh
CSP
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CSP
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@PUA, I have been poking in and out of here for about a year. I think I am getting a lot of attraction, but a lot of times, I am not seeing any signals. Although when I go in for the kiss or more, I universally get a very positive reception. I also hear, later, “I thought you didn’t like me”. I have now heard this every time for the last 4-5 women I have slept with. I am fairly playful, but can be very dry. I am not getting rejected, but definitely see an inefficiency here. Do any of… Read more »
@all Would like to read your opinion and suggestions. I met this girl in my sister’s city. Early evening. Coffee, initially the whole date is very awkward, but after 10-15 minutes of plowing it’s easier. Loads of shit tests, she’s 32 and screening for a BF. I’m like, eh fuck it, can have fun at least. Which works, because after an hour, when I decide to bounce to a hotel bar near by for drinks, she follows. I have no room there as staying at my sister’s, but I know I could get one relatively quickly. DHVs, teasing, good comfort,… Read more »
@walawala Sentient HABD Thanks guys. Not giving up or stopping. Just had a down day – I figure I’ve used up my victim/ranting quota for the moment. I’m okay now. I know why I’m doing this and why it is important, and I have my perspective back on how far I’ve come, how I’m still making progress and I know I will nail this sticking point too, as long as I keep at it. The instincts ARE there, and when I’m “out of my head” and not overthinking it, they’ve started to kick in naturally. Earlier today, about to cross… Read more »
@IRL – speaking as someone who has both failed and succeeded with this age group recently:. Short answer is – follow YaReally’s texting advice and sexualize, but pull back and go asexual after a meetup is fixed. Have logistics fixed and escalate hard and see how it goes. Especially since it is a second meetup, rules about “not on the first date” won’t apply which will help. But be warned – epiphany age chicks are VERY hard to pull quickly. Read Blackdragon’s stuff for more on why. (This is assuming they view you as a potential provider that is –… Read more »
@Culum
lol…
how’s that FI treating you?…lol
no… more… bars…
pretty simple really… do not go to places they serve booze…
work it out = where else do you go… to, you know… meet cute girls?…lol
SJF had some hints …
and you COULD just hang out at traffic lights… lol
good luck!
Clever Handle
Do any of you guys have tips for demonstrating sexual intent?
Yes. Demonstrate sexual intent.
Not joking…
CSP
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@HABD – Lol, okay I was overthinking it. Will try the non-bar option (promised a wing I’d go out with him on the weekend, but other than that). @Clever Handle – set sexual frame early in interaction – many ways to do it but I compliment her ass usually. Search YaReally Archive for laser and cutting distance and the videos related to that. Talk about sexual topics (in a non-needy way). That’s short version. Much as I’m struggling with other stuff right now, sexualization is one thing I’ve improved hugely – about 3-4 years ago I was just terrible at… Read more »
Clever Handle: How do you demonstrate sexual intent?
1) Body language…confident alpha stance, eye fucking her
2) slow down your speech and movements, she’ll start mirroring you
3) move the conversation towards sexual things: “have you ever had an older guy as a lover?”
“Have you ever had a xxx as a lover?”
“What was your favorite part of 50 Shades of Grey?”
“What’s the craziest thing you ever did….as a kid?”
“Bet you were a naughty one…I knew you were trouble…”
Culum But that instinct-based – see girl/go for girl/continue conversation action – that’s new for me. Good stuff… progress etc. I actually had to pull away from her and leave as the light changed because I was legit very late – she was like “Hey do you live around here?? Hope to see you around” as I walked off (I know even in that hurry I should really have grabbed her number Good stuff too… and we can all slip in an unexpected moment and not pull the trigger. Happens. However… this here… I just hesitated because I … didn’t… Read more »
IRL
I also hear, later, “I thought you didn’t like me”. I have now heard this every time for the last 4-5 women I have slept with. I am fairly playful, but can be very dry. I am not getting rejected, but definitely see an inefficiency here. Do any of you guys have tips for demonstrating sexual intent?
Keep doing what you are doing, because it is working, but also introduce touching her early on.
@Culum I think it’s back to basics for you. The scarcity mentality of sticking to those sites fearing you won’t get laid is like a set of training wheels…take them off and get out there.
Start by re-watching “The Pick Up Artist” start to finish….Watch how Mystery and Matador coach these guys…
@SJF no problem man I appreciate the help. I don’t mind harsh judgement lol, especially with Game since its something I’ve accepted I’m total shit at (at least at the moment lol) and will require a lot of work. Yesterday was another dud by the way. So it was 3 days in a row I didn’t make an approach. Through this experience I’ve noticed my “momentum” go down a little bit, almost like I’m losing my conditioning. A simple lesson from this is that at my stage – beginners phase – you can’t afford to slack off a single day… Read more »