For the past three years of The Rational Male there’s been a consistent presence in the comment threads of guys seeking advice for particular situations with regards to Game. Whether it’s fine tuning certain aspects of Game or a larger consensus of the guys participating in my comment threads it’s become obvious there’s a need for a dedicated page and comment thread to address these Field Reports.
So I’m instituting this page for exactly this. If there is some urgency to have members of The Rational Male community analyze your particular situation feel free to hit anyone up in the comments of my current post, but please refer them to your particular field report with a link to your comment here. I’m hoping this will alleviate the mass of posts for field report analysis and Game specific insights piled into the main blog post for any given week.
There will be some rules for this “forum” as such. I ask that you only keep your comments to addressing the field reports at hand and save your larger theoretical stuff for the main posts, or if relevant, keep the “bigger scope of things” posts to being as succinct as possible. There will be no moderation in this comment thread (spamming excepted), so realize it will be a very hot kitchen before you post. I will impose no restrictions on video links here, nor will I limit links to various, but pertinent articles.
Understand, this is an experiment for now. It’s likely this comment thread will exceed thousands of comments. I’ll be instituting new comment plug-ins for wordpress to deal with this in the future, but I may archive this page the the posts and refresh this page in the future as well. If this gets cumbersome I may simply institute a dedicated forum-style sub-site of The Rational Male to accommodate for Game specific questions.
So have at it, post your field reports and feel free to comment on the ones you have some particular insight for. Be forewarned that it’s likely things may get a bit salty at times and I expect a lot of back & forth with debate and disagreements, but that’s what this thread is for – to hash out Game particulars for your given situations.
I remember Sentient’s talk of frisson in songs: https://youtu.be/zP72VIL2IRI Losing a Whole Year Third Eye Blind Losing a whole year I remember you and me used to spend the whole goddamned day in bed Losing a whole year Lying in your room we’d lay like dogs The phone would ring like a joke that’s left unsaid Rich daddy left you with a parachute Your voice sounds like money and your face is cute But your daddy left you with no love You touch everything with a velvet glove and Now you want to try a life of sin You want… Read more »
Oh no…
Another P in V is a nuclear deal breaker.
“Oh no… Another P in V is a nuclear deal breaker.” Missing the point by a mile Blax. Jody dug into a hole. Blue pill Beta. His wife sees an exit strategy. He’s asking for advice. If his wife advances to the edge and jumps off. She will execute what his greatest fear is: Not having his kids have complementary parents that raise them well. Which I assume at this point is a priority over not getting laid on the regular. And having his wife admire and respect him and want to have sex with him. While his inter-sexual goals… Read more »
@Young Shagger
Greetings from a fellow wrestler, Div III, and long-time HS coach. I don’t know your story, but my father was a drinker too, and I tried to salvage my parent’s failed relationship by white knighting a damaged woman. A lost decade and schisms due to the rearing of our son, we’re long done but still enmeshed.
Hit me up if I can be of any help.
JB
SJF
I was responding to something that came up in the IAS discussion.
“I was responding to something that came up in the IAS discussion.” Ok, got it. Thought it was the ugly Jody discussion. @JB/YS YoungShagger, BTW, just as it happens to go to your dynamics, you never mentioned anything about your mother. What is your story about her. Wrestling is an awesome sport and has many inspiring life lessons built into it. And also BTW, you should proceed in life as if your father was dead. Not literally, but figuratively. Drunk fathers are a dead weight. Drunk fathers with expectations for you are ever more weight around your neck. “A man… Read more »
““This may not be a popular opinion here but in your shoes I would be getting snipped ASAP and divorced.”
He only sees her 3/4 times a year so it’s not huge risk.”
…then she’s about 40…
…but getting snipped is a huge risk to his having kids…when he’s 60, he may see things about having kids differently…and then it will likely be too late…and people will expect his kids to be his grandkids and it will seem weird…
“After 11 years of marriage, being a good husband and a good father to my two beautiful children, my wife informed me that she no longer loved me and thought we would separate.”
…not that you’re ready to do this yet, because of your feelings, but an excellent response to “we should separate” is “I think it’s a great idea! Let’s not dilly-dally about it. When can you move out?” with a huge smile on your face. For icing on the cake, add, “But we can still be friends.”
@SJF “And also BTW, you should proceed in life as if your father was dead. Not literally, but figuratively.” This may not be such a bad idea re: mothers too, no? I wonder just how many men simply haven’t unpacked the relationship with both parents when seeking female companionship. I know Rollo is not a fan of Jung, nor Peterson (who references Jung quite a bit), but I find Jungian therapist and author James Hollis quite helpful in drawing attention to my own decisions based on historical family dynamics. @ Young Shagger If you haven’t partaken in sharing some technical… Read more »
@Palma and all re: medication I’ve been surprised by how many people, especially some of my therapist clients, who are on them. It was around this time last year when I was going crazy enough in fighting for keeping our father/son relationship healthy and intact moving forward that I seriously considered taking something, and filled two prescriptions for them. Despite going through some very rough times in my mental/emotional life throughout the years, I’d never considered taking anything outside of the occasional drink to get me by. It’s right then and there that I realized just how crazy things had… Read more »
@Jody – welcome to the Field Report thread. I can’t comment on how to turn a marriage around, but you’ll get some great advice here. I will second (or third?) the recommendation to listen to Sentient and HABD’s advice in particular – both of them turned around failing marriages so they know exactly what you are going through. I don’t think either of their marriages ever got to the point of the wife asking to separate, but if I remember correctly, HABD’s marriage was nearly there – it didn’t actually happen but was weeks away from it when he started… Read more »
@Palma ‘But very early on she hit me for “exclusivity”.’ Did you see any signs that this was coming before the girl actually broached the subject? If you had created drama–like a firebreak—might this have satisfied the girl’s need for drama so that the subject never came up? “Every time there would be some sort of drama about her having “issues down there” to do with ph levels” …drama…maybe this is what the girl was needing the whole time…no matter how much a girl may say that she hates drama, her psyche may actually need it…(a girl really may hate… Read more »
re: medication
If you absolutely need them, then you absolutely need them — it’s better than ending up as a suicide. But unless you absolutely need them, it’s best to do things without them, because you’re going to want/need to get off of them at some stage anyway, and you will eventually need to learn to deal with things and move forward in a positive, effective, masterful way without them.
“….Also, I have heard recommendations here on TRM for a book called the Married Man Sex Life Primer on Kindle/Amazon… Athol Kay distilled a bunch of manosphere advice on how be more of a doer in that book. He also has a $2.99 Kindle book called The Mindful Attraction Plan: Your Practical Roadmap to Creating the Life, Love and Success You Want on Amazon. It is a springboard for being more Attractive, Not Unattractive. BluePill Professor (RedPill Coach) distilled Athol Kay, Rollo Tomassi and others’ red pill content into a book Saving a Low Sex Marriage: A Man’s Guide to… Read more »
@IAS And I don’t want to tell her to quit her job to come live with me for some reasons, one of which is she is very likely to say no because she doesn’t like living in the “big city” (she directly says she doesn’t want to live here, I never did outright tell her to come) whose frame is this?… you didn’t tell her to quit her job and move with you to the city bc she MIGHT say “NO”?…lol… did you even OFFER that as an OPTION to her?… i’m betting not… bc that lets the ‘structure’ of… Read more »
@Palmasailor @HABD “aaand did you let her come back?… for more than just a fb/fwb?… and, if so, how did THAT work out?” Well, none of that would really bother me if I was getting what I want. that’s bc you are firmly out of ‘marriage mode’…lol… and you are operating from fb only MPoO… think back to your marriage before you were sick… would you accept a p in v with some other dude from the ex- and then ‘take her back’?… even IF you were getting porn-start sex?… With the one I have in mind we were having… Read more »
@Culum Jody @Jody – welcome to the Field Report thread. I can’t comment on how to turn a marriage around, but you’ll get some great advice here. I will second (or third?) the recommendation to listen to Sentient and HABD’s advice in particular – both of them turned around failing marriages so they know exactly what you are going through. I don’t think either of their marriages ever got to the point of the wife asking to separate, but if I remember correctly, HABD’s marriage was nearly there – it didn’t actually happen but was weeks away from it when… Read more »
SJF, sorry for the delay, had a lot to read through and absorb and almost missed your questions post. How well read are you in regards to the manosphere and red pill? –Just introduced within the past two months. Read first two volumes and now starting into this blog. What content have you consumed. What red pill books have you read? –I have read TRM vol.1 and vol.2 so far. How long have you been reading the comments section at The Rational Male here? –just in the past month or so. What do you think of your wife? –I find… Read more »
edit: What content have you consumed. What red pill books have you read? –I have read TR’P’ vol.1 and vol.2 so far.
@Jody I’m glad I asked those questions for inventory. And I really appreciate you answering them in a straight-forward way. Without buffering. You seem very engineering-like. In an effective way. This is a deep hole you are in. Not that there is anything wrong with that. It is what it is. As such, the biggest thing I take from your answers is that you are totally new to married red pill. The good news is that there are plenty of resources out there for you to improve things. Here is a general outline of BluePillProfessor/Red Pill Coach’s outline of operant… Read more »
@Jody
think about applying this concept in interacting with your wife…
polite indifference…
also be extra supportive to your kids…
good luck!
Jody
I can clearly see it is my Dynamic aspect that requires the most work. followed by Passion. I am Authentic, always have been.
Guys always want to jump into action… But Authenticity is the bedrock. Without authenticity you are found out and your actions producing fleeting results at best.
So you’ve always been authentic? Tell me, how does a guy have two years without sex in a a marriage and consider himself authentic?
Not buying it.
@palma “she makes banter that where she comes from you get three so I make a face and demand 3 rd kiss and pull her in for that.” Solid. But I would have teased her here with a, “Sorry love. Every girl gets 2 kisses from me. 3 kisses are only reserved for special girls in my life” with a slight grin. Setting in the “I’m the prize” frame. Later on when she’s done something that impresses you (or made the effort to), you can lean in and give her a kiss on the cheek/forehead. If she questions you, “what… Read more »
@Palma: it is all quite clearly an elaborate test (with several tests within), but I can’t quite decode it fully. The 3 kisses thing was also obviously a test (of thirst?) and I think J’s suggestion there could have been better depending on circumstances, but I think you did well doing it your way as well.
@palma “She really did not want anything happening in public” Nothing overt maybe. Like making out and shit, but she definitely invited you to their girls night out so that you could shoot your shot with her friend. “a small round table.” Alright. and you said EE friend was seated directly in front of you? What’s stopping you from playing footsie under the table? First, break the touch barrier by playfully kicking EE friend under the table for getting something wrong (EE: “how old are you”? Palma: “how old do I look?” EE: Ummm 65?” Palma: “oh your too kind… Read more »
Palma Things don’t progress at the rate we would like. But this was a big step. EEGF arranged proximity. But “EEGF decides where we all sit and I’m sat down next to her and opposite friend ” It’s still up to you to arrange isolation. sometimes you have to bust a move, break convention. smoothly decline to be sat where EEGF wanted and slide over to the girl. “I can talk to old friend and you at home” etc… my suspicion is that it’s not action that’s in short supply, it’s DISCRETE action that’s in short supply. Indeed. also I… Read more »
Palma
the stuff that he and I are doing
I’m telling ya, watch EEGF. She wants you. Part of what is going on is her watching you. I’m 50/50 she arranges another get together her and you and GF – and GF isn’t there…
@Sentient
“I’m telling ya, watch EEGF. She wants you.”
Palma 2 weeks ago: “I have to be a bit careful what I’m doing as there’s just no way I’m going anywhere near anything that’s banging my mate.
With this friend that’s off limits”
J Yeah, that’s his perspective. ” And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her. 11 One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. 12 She caught him by his cloak and said, “Come to bed with me!” But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house. 13 When she saw that he had left his cloak in her hand and had run out of the house, 14 she called… Read more »
Sentient, Perhaps it is my wobbly frame that makes me say I have authenticity,but it is something I value and always show to my friends, my children, my work colleagues and myself. I very much believe that I say what I mean, I finish what I start and don’t take advantage of others. This to me seemed to be online with the definition in your post. Thank you for sharing it by the way. The first two , Dynamic especially I read and said oh shit, that is definately a problem, I haven’t been driving my own path, just stumbling… Read more »
Palma
She doesn’t have to arrange an outing, we’re in both the house most days..
That’s not plausibly deniable – and you aren’t making moves on her so it can “just happen” in the house. I suspect it’s too close to home for her as well…
PS – Keep in mind that Joseph did NOT bang Potiphor’s wife, he just suffered the consequences of it.
heh. we are saying the same thing. double bind.
Jody, “After 11 years of marriage, being a good husband and a good father to my two beautiful children, my wife informed me that she no longer loved me and thought we would separate.” Are you in the right place! Great story. Pulling your marriage back on the tracks is totally doable. The theory is pretty simple though in action requires fortitude and understanding. First some RP and marriage philosophy….. Let’s you and me work on the difference of value and use. Things have value when they hold their meaning. The more meaning the greater the consequence. The greater the… Read more »
“@foxguy You’ve mentioned that before. I have no idea what you’re planning to do or whether I know anything about it. I don’t know why you are worried about failing at this stage in the game, there are a lot of things you can put in place to make sure you don’t get in too deep with a failing concept before you actually do get in too deep. Take it over to field reports (not really the right place) if you want to chew it over.” @Palma, yeah it’s been hanging around in my mind for more than a year… Read more »
@Palma,
Understood, my business would most likely be related around software development. I don’t have any specific business plan or the like. My personality is that I need to be against the wall and then I get very creative and my energy fires up to find a solution.
I’m expecting to fail a few times if I need to, I’ve lived dirt poor before and will go there if I need to. I need some pressure on myself and I am sure I will perform. What is your opinion of Dan Pen~a and his QLA method?
“What is your opinion of Dan Pen~a and his QLA method?” There were a number of people like Dan in the 80’s going around giving seminars when leverage buyout was a more talked about thing and credit was cheap. One of Dan’s older peers is Gordon Bizar who’s seminar material is almost the same as Dan’s just more detailed. Dan did not invent what he teaches he simply taken from the best at the time and sold it better ever since. This seminar practice died out by end of the 1990’s as people had woken up to the fact that… Read more »
I didn’t have the kind of poor/working class upbringing many of the guys here did – I was pretty privileged growing up. But I did start a business in college (employees, customers, made money while I was sleeping etc) and bootstrapped it with a couple of partners. Profitable from year 1, part-time while we burned the midnight oil and also got our degrees, no outside investment, sold it after 4-5 years to a large company that basically told us they would either buy us for a decent price or undercut us and crush us because they wanted to enter the… Read more »
This is field reports, not a PUA analysis board. We are here to get data about women and our own efforts and suggestions from other guys. So fucking stop talking about random PUA coaches.
</rant ends
Palma @Sentient got away with it (99.99%) don’t, and I think he made it work because he joined a business that was failing and delivered customers so he complied with PalmaSailors golden rule: “He who delivers and owns the customer owns the business” Plus someone else already had the pain of building the infrastructure etc.. That’s probaby what happened but I’d stand corrected. I didn’t join a business. I quit one and went and started my own. Just me and my partner put up the money to pay my salary while we got it off the ground. Had zero clients,… Read more »
Culum
My company – still a division of that same corporation – is still the dominant market leader in that niche although the niche itself is a lot bigger now and there are many more competitors. I just checked the website and they are still using the logo I designed at the age of 20 (slightly modified but the same concept)…
Surreal right? Same here, my old company is still creaking along (a fraction of what is was when I left) over 25 years later. Same logo.
Foxguy What is your opinion of Dan Pen~a and his QLA method? LOL. Just looked at this. If this is the kind of shit you are looking at for starting a business, you are insane. NONE of the many dozens of people I know who have started and grown successful long term businesses (several over $100M) ever got the idea or anything from a guy selling “Start a business” bullshit and affirmations. They came a cross a need or niche and understood how to exploit and optimize that in a way that left them with profits. And repeated this ad… Read more »
@Sentient – yeah, it’s bizarre that this big listed company is still coasting off the work I did with my partners two decades ago. They’ve not really innovated since then. We did the basic idea for a few years. When my partner joined them for a couple of years after the acquisition, he did a fantastic job of scaling up our business to use all the resources they had, but from what I can see (not much – I haven’t had inside information since he left) they haven’t done anything but coast for over a decade now. @Foxguy – My… Read more »
Palma – indeed. Someone once gave me a very similar example related to buying some basic construction equipment and renting it out to builders but I can’t remember the details. The point was that it didn’t have to be some fancy new technology or idea – just good execution in relation to a market need. @foxguy – also remember that what you do is its own skillset which is different from an entrepreneurial skillset. It’s not better or worse, just different. What everyone is saying is that less of your skillset will transfer to being an entrepreneur than you might… Read more »
@Everyone: N=4 😀
I’ll post a FR later but before that…
N=3 and N=4 are from the same social circle and know each other.
I have N=3 coming over to my house tonight and frankly, N=4 uses a bit too much perfume. The sheets and the guest pillow still smell a bit like N=4 smells, and if I notice it I think N=3 might notice. I can understand how that might be a good thing but I’m not so sure… I probably should change them and reduce the amount of odorous evidence before N=3 arrives.
Opinions?
Don’t change a thing…
Killer 😎🔫👙
Interesting my gun emoji 🔫 changed into a water pistol after posting? Some kind of censorship going on.
@Palmasailor
that^^^ is what a branch swing ‘feeler’ looks like in real time…lol
i’m sure you could see it too… the question now is, are you going to try to get your old friend up to speed, and if so, how?… without burning that bridge… bc if she is pinging you for a branch swing, she is not really satisfied with him and is likely pinging others as well…
or you can do nothing and just keep your frame solid… or you could maybe start to ‘wing’ for him?…
interesting situ for sure…
good luck!
“Me: looked at her, raised eyebrows but no comment..”
Slippery slope is slippery
@Palma – moving that thread about women getting desperate in online dating here (It was in the “Unmarriageable” comments wasn’t it? I just ran across (On Reddit TRP) the link to these astonishing online dating stats from the book (Dataclysm by Christian Rudder) by the guy who founded OKCupid (the book is a few years old and I’ve read excerpts from it and it has some great data, but I haven’t actually read the whole book – this current data is from the parts of the book that I haven’t read in excerpt – I really should read it). Anyway,… Read more »
Culum
What’s most interesting is the contacts from 40+ men is negligible…
Purely because guys refuse to make a move…
@Sentient & @Palma – interesting. I hadn’t registered the decline in activity of the older men – not just older actually, look at the drop off cliff in men sending messages from age 25 to age 30! By 40, even the male activity of sending messages – even to age appropriate women – has dropped to near zero levels. Some of that is probably explained by more older men being married/in relationships than the guys in their early 20s, but even so – that is a huge drop off in male activity. Is that just because a) they are simply… Read more »
What is consensus view on “gym pics” in profile? Too close to bathroom selfie? Substitute “active doing” photo that just happens to show body lol…I find it funny because probably 90% of those are contrived anyways
At present, this is the ONLY body photo I show on both Tinder and Bumble, I had another one when I was 10-15 pounds bodyfat higher, and actually I’m down another 10 pounds bodyfat from this photo, so I figure I should take a new one soon anyways, I suppose out at the beach with a volleyball in my hand lol
https://imgur.com/MIf13HG
Culum, In your post, I think you said a key factor in your online success was identifying the women very likely to have sex with you on a first date, and only going on those??? Can you step through that? Literally, what are your initial messages like…I have to assume you are sexualizing very fast, but I’m also sure you are not opening with “Hey, are you DTF”? But the in between I think I’d like to hear more about, from the initial greeting to establishing this is a strong prospect for 1st date sex. Logistics? Do you arrange a… Read more »
Palma,
Yeah, that one is a bit older I think it is from either June or July…I think I was 240ish in that pic, and wearing one of my old cut up T-shirts
This one WHICH IS NOT ON THE ONLINE SITES is more recent and 225-230 at 6’3″, still some lower abdominal fat to trim but inconsequential at this point with the right shirt that focuses on chest, shoulders, and arms
https://imgur.com/wjUTQQl
FWIW, I’m 45. When my wife left me in April 2017, I was 285 pounds, I was still lifting but basically a fat fuck with my eating out of control…you can’t out exercise a shitty diet…today I weighed in at 223. When I hit 220, I think I’ll take a new photo with a snug fitting shirt instead of a super baggy one from my fat fuck days
@Palmasailor lol… that girl is smoooooooth…lol… remember compliance tests/frame ‘striving’ (for lack of a better term bc its not quite ‘battle’) starts early and often… both ways…lol We can’t, old friend and I have a dinner meeting the other side of town at the same time but we can go to meet them after our meeting so we agree on this. This all happens, we arrive at restaurant 9-10 PM and EEGF greets us, and they are sat at a table. I smile and greet EEGF with a kiss on both cheeks, then I greet friend in the same way,… Read more »
@Palmasailor i just read this FR… posted at [squints hard]… 7 days ago…lol… (i really do miss those timestamps…)… and had skipped it before bc you seemed to be getting good advice… and just read through it… “EEGF decides where we all sit and I’m sat down next to her and opposite friend (she’s blocked proximity on purpose),” for what purpose?… usually if a girl is throwing you at her friend she wants you two to be ‘touchable’… don’t assume that EEGF has altruistic motives here… the terms are ‘solipsism’… and ‘hypergamy’…lol.. and by seating you next to HER…weeeell… if… Read more »
“This all happens, we arrive at restaurant 9-10 PM and EEGF greets us, and they are sat at a table. I smile and greet EEGF with a kiss on both cheeks, then I greet friend in the same way, my hand gently but firmly on the back of her neck pulling her in for two kisses, release after two, she makes banter that where she comes from you get three so I make a face and demand 3 rd kiss and pull her in for that.” “This all happens, we arrive at restaurant 9-10 PM and EEGF greets us, and… Read more »
Palma
No it was when you agreed to the third kiss. 💋
Calibration is micro adjustments with EE’s… And 8+’s
@Palmasailor Sentient @Sentient “Palma No it was when you agreed to the third kiss. 💋 Calibration is micro adjustments with EE’s… And 8+’s” SOMEbody’s been paying attention…lol… Really, that blew it? did you ‘comply’ with her ‘request’ or not?… and who’s frame was that in?… easy, peasy…lol Honestly – she’s sitting at home drinking boxwine right now.. aaand, you don’t even have her number to change THAT situ?… hmmm, i wonder why?…lol This links to something I was gonna say to Culum in respect of OLD and age appropriate women in the context of two women I was speaking to… Read more »
@Palmasailor @HABD “tell me where you lost the frame… “ We agreed to meet them after our Meeting. But that wasn’t me agreeing to it, EEGF was pushing for it and from memory old friend did the deal. Think I was in the shower at the time and decision presented to me.. I prion sort of grunted no, see above… I was going to ask if she’s even aware of the branch swing qualification, or is it all hindbrain and her for-brain has no clue? this exactly… from her perspective, it’s like watching a stranger in the third-person… and THEN… Read more »
@Palmasailor
ps… if this situ goes completely sideways… have him take a deep breath and post it up here…
i’ll clue him in for you…
good luck!
Palma I smile and greet EEGF with a kiss on both cheeks, then I greet friend in the same way, my hand gently but firmly on the back of her neck pulling her in for two kisses, release after two, she makes banter that where she comes from you get three so I make a face and demand 3 rd kiss and pull her in for that. Re microcalibration… a day from now, in a sober moment, reflect on how this interaction might have played out differently if you did something like this “She makes banter that where she comes… Read more »
Some smart guys said “attraction is not a choice” and “life finds a way”…
@Morpheus Okay, lot to say on those questions, like writing a thesis, but I’ll try to hit some of the key points. I didn’t say I identified likely first date lays in my post – I said I was very good at turning the vast majority of my dates into first date lays – there’s a slight difference. There’s a certain amount of screening the girl yes, but far more important is setting the right vibe and expectations about YOU in the girl’s mind (and then successfully executing on that in person when you meet her). So as far as… Read more »
Does that help to start with? Culum, Hell yeah! Thanks for taking the time to write up a detailed breakdown. What I’m realizing/learning is the online apps really have their own set of specific tactics Game. You and Ranger have given me some good stuff to work with. Your point of listing height is well taken, and for now I’m going to leave it. I ran it by a close female friend (who I think is giving me signals she is open to more but that is another story, I might post her texts to me for analysis here) who… Read more »
@Palma – you basically need to betaize yourself and make your friend seem like a better option to the girl. But you can’t make it so obvious that she notices a character change in you. Just supplicate to her and it will happen pretty quick. HABD (and YaReally) helped me to do that back when there was a potential FRA situation brewing but I managed to defuse it and no accusation was made because I was able to betaize myself in a realistic way (long story from the Heartiste comments – too bad they got destroyed when the site went… Read more »
@Palmasailor @HABD “Really, that blew it? did you ‘comply’ with her ‘request’ or not?… and who’s frame was that in?… easy, peasy…lol” Yes I complied – Damn that fucking autopilot.. over here one kiss is unusual, most men don’t do it, so women pull back after one and then I demand the second which wrong foots them at the first meeting. (Looking at it that’s me issuing a compliance hoop?) yes… Except she did that to me… duh… and I complied = DLV & perhaps “follower” = legs closed. (Interesting question : why didn’t failing the compliance hoop / shit… Read more »
@Sentient I ran through this kind of situ recently with the married neighbor… I let slip juuuuuust a leeetle comment… and she was all over it… led her to come out for a drink where I was… then her texting like a maniac late into the night… had to just 100% cut it off no contact at all. Nothing. then it simmered down. Oddly just after this break of contact she drastically changed her hair… wow!… she’s really going all out…lol her hindbrain is whispering… ‘you could have had HIM… if ONLY you had different hair… and maybe weren’t married…’… Read more »
@Palmasailor Culum plus this from Culum… @Palma – you basically need to betaize yourself and make your friend seem like a better option to the girl. But you can’t make it so obvious that she notices a character change in you. Just supplicate to her and it will happen pretty quick. as long as it’s ‘congruent’ to you… it HAS to be subtle… and it can’t be from a position of ‘alpha’ (like asking her opinion bc you value it but you will make the choice yourself… it has to be a supplication)… kind of hard to explain, but there… Read more »
@Culum @Morpheus
Good tweaks which show there’s more to it than just going online.
But…
First thing first: online without gaming women in real life is a buffer. And improving a buffer won’t address the core issue.
@Culum you should tell him the price you paid for that, too. Due diligence.
@Morpheus what’s with the irl game practice? Don’t let it slide.
Hahaha, what price @IRL? The drug girl fiasco? @Morpheus: you may not have been here then but the whole sorry tale is here in the Field Reports thread if you look around in about Feb 2018 – second half of the month. Short version is that I was on a date from a sugar site and while I am usually very good at weeding out the hookers and girls looking for cash, I screwed up this time. Ended up in a restroom cubicle at the bar (this is boringly routine for me – I’ve banged 12-15 girls literally in just… Read more »
@HABD: what Culum said. I got your vibe straight away.
Also really like RSDTyler and YaReally.
I think guys like Blax and Palma are more “natural” and don’t resonate so much with that style.
HABD
her hindbrain is whispering… ‘you could have had HIM… if ONLY you had different hair… and maybe weren’t married…’
It’s worse than that. She had dyed it just before we met and asked me what I thought and I said “meh” could be better… after the no contact she cut it all off and dyed it again…
MORPHEUS
Hotel Game… – check back Monday or Tuesday…
N=4 Lay Report After enough IOIs, I scanned for logistics and she lives alone. I self-invited myself to dinner with N=4 at her place, her cooking some specialty from her country. Leading up to dinner I continued to DHV through pre-selection in a festival conveniently loaded with women (I suspect at least 75% F to M ratio, maybe higher). At some point I even pulled N=3 and N=4 into a triangle and we were dancing to music while rubbing our asses together (ass to ass grinding basically), they were laughing their asses off as well. Hit up Palma for some… Read more »
@IAS
good stuff bro
“I pick her up, rotate 180 degrees so she is out of the way, and go into the stove to take care of the food again”.
word to the wise: careful banging girls on top of your stove. You might hit one of the burner knobs in the process, and then “accidentally” lighting her booty on fire…lol
Palmasailor
It’s now on with the bloke she rejected earlier.
Classic.
@j: when we were dancing, I was away from the stove, so I picked her up, rotated her so she was away from the stove, put her down and left her there going to look after the food.
@IAS
lol ya I know. I was just making a silly comment about an incident that occurred this morning since you mentioned the stove 😉
@Sentient
HABD
her hindbrain is whispering… ‘you could have had HIM… if ONLY you had different hair… and maybe weren’t married…’
It’s worse than that. She had dyed it just before we met and asked me what I thought and I said “meh” could be better… after the no contact she cut it all off and dyed it again…
yikes!…lol
your wife doesn’t have a pet bunny does she?…lol
good luck!
@Culum
Hahaha, what price @IRL? The drug girl fiasco?
I meant the struggle with irl, defaulting to online, feeling shitty about it, deleting the apps, then doing it all over again etc.
I think self-sabotaging your growth and delaying it (by how many years?) is quite a price.
Time wasted can never be regained.
@Palma – yes it is a no-no. What you don’t see is the opportunity cost of the number of women you lost out on because of it. You’d have had this woman anyway – but if you’d shown your body on a boat somewhere, you’d have had this woman AND the ones who were turned off by the bathroom selfie. As for her message, she’s attracted, and the message is a classic shit test. I would normally say Agree & Amplify but it’s a bit difficult to do with the form of this shit test. Directly answering the question (even… Read more »
PS – Online and offline aren’t different btw. You apply the same principles slightly differently in the online interactions (to account for the changed environment) but once the girl is in front of you in person, it’s identical. It is my personal mental block that I struggle to treat girls on cold approach the same as the girls I met online – for reasons to do with FI, entitlement issues, etc that HABD, IRL and Sentient have spent a lot of time hammering into me. I’ve not beaten it yet but this year is helping to get me to the… Read more »
@Everyone, HABD: help me not fuck it up any further. My wife wants me to go spend Christmas with her, I can even sleep in a different bed etc. She basically doesn’t want to spend Christmas alone and I get that. I feel a kind of compulsion to go, for like 3 weeks. I’m pretty sure I can get more/better sex not going BTW, so it is not that. At this stage I know she has a lot of suffering in front of her, possibly for the rest of her life (odds of her finding a Beta Bux and having… Read more »
@Palma. Some good points. Yes, a lot of that stuff is what I’m working through this year on kind of quasi-Monk Mode as I renovate myself physically (it’s not really Monk Mode – I won’t turn down opportunities that present themselves – but I’m not actively focussed on practicing Game/going out/meeting women and prioritizing it – for the first time in 7 years). Just trying to step back from it all and get some perspective. Especially since yes..I’m just coming up right up to 40 now..weeks not months. A couple of specific points: “Proving I can get women” (and making… Read more »
IAS — My $0.02 as someone who was divorced ~16 years ago, never remarried: you do not really know what you want to do strongly enough to actually do it, and so you are trying to kind of “do both” for a while to avoid consequences you’d rather avoid or delay. This is a way of avoiding making a definitive decision. If you definitively end it, you will hurt her. That’s just a fact. But that isn’t a justification for not ending it if you really need to end it, really want to end it, can’t see it going anywhere,… Read more »
@Palmasailor @HABD “this is the best place for self-help for men that i know of… @Rollo literally saved my life AND my sanity…lol… (PUA and YaReally saved my marriage/family…lol” I’m sorry to hear it got you that badly, and I’m glad to hear you turned it around and saved all that, especially the family. (I’m not sure he saved your sanity btw 😉) lol… but ya, it was BAD… ’90 mph into a bridge abutment’ bad… “aaand, you don’t even have her number to change THAT situ?…” You’re right, but I would ask just one question: are you sure that… Read more »
@IAS
@Everyone, HABD: help me not fuck it up any further.
lol… don’t try to push it off onto me… you already know what you need to do…
sh*t or get off the pot…
good luck!
@HABD: always putting that smile on my face 😉
@Palma – yes, that. Bar, street – basically I freeze up with approaching (or if I approach I’m horribly stifled and shitty) in any kind of cold approach situation – anything that’s not meeting a girl from online or through my social circle. They’re really all the same but the mental block kicks in. I do pretty well if my wing opens the girl and brings me in and I relax (although I’m not as practiced or relaxed with it as online). But approaching myself – especially when I’m alone – freeze up. I’ve done it in the past and… Read more »
Great comments and discussion…A lot to respond to and looking for some feedback, I’ll break into a couple different posts I’ve been thinking about material for a new bio..I’m just brainstorming here how about something like “I can’t change your tire, but I’ll make decent eye candy for your next plus 1” Good cocky funny or too cheesy? Regardless, I’m going to keep working on material. I don’t want to beat a dead horse, but FWIW here was PlatonicHBs text to me on the height issue. For background, PlatonicHB is 46, extremely attractive for that age, she reached out to… Read more »
Second link was duplicate
https://imgur.com/y3B2fYh
Morpheus
“I can’t change your tire, but I’ll make decent eye candy for your next plus 1”
Good cocky funny or too cheesy? ”
Too beta. In service of her.
Palma, Ha, my ex from my last relationship always said “I was too full of myself” lol. I won’t bore you with my entire story but my second wife left me in April 2017 and did so via e-mail, yeah, that was a self-esteem blow along with many other blows. I was about in the worst place imaginable quite literally. That first week she left this woman (we went to high school together) messaged me basically “hey, I saw your posts, are you OK, and do you want to talk”. TBH, I’m not sure what would have happened or what… Read more »
@Morpheus duuuude, i gotta jump in here…lol… you’ve been getting great advice and i’m busy as f*k, but you need to clue up…lol… do you even TRM, bro?…lol Palma, Ha, my ex from my last relationship always said “I was too full of myself” lol. sh*t test… I won’t bore you with my entire story but my second wife left me in April 2017 and did so via e-mail, yeah, that was a self-esteem blow along with many other blows. I was about in the worst place imaginable quite literally. been there, bro… it gets better… LOTS better… just gotta… Read more »
“When we got to the bottom and ready to part ways [“hey come here for a sec I wanna tell you something [grab her hand, bring her really close to you, then place her hand around your waist.] then sexually triangular gaze her for a couple seconds….her: “what lol?”. Then open loop her with a, “nah I think I’ll tell you later” sly smile, then release her to use the gents restroom].
S E X U A L T E N S I O N > makeout guy
She rejected your kiss because you just went for it without spiking her emotions first. This is 101. Spike => ask for compliance. But I prefer maintaining sexual tension (does he like me or not) throughout the interactions Vs giving your power away by going for makeouts (worst is if she rejects it. Which firmly puts YOU in the chase frame, then having to fight your way to get out of it) as I’ve found it to be more powerful. The guys here, including the lurkers, are interested in whatever move (and the why behind the move) gives them the… Read more »
“No it was when you agreed to the third kiss.”
R u copying off my paper again?
“Anyway, she wrote something like “you don’t have consent across it””
That’s when you write “LOL” over her statement and walk off to chat with another girl.
@Palma @j is correct about the specific Game reason that that particular makeout attempt failed. But it doesn’t affect the overall conclusion – that consent stuff is a real red flag. The additional details make it seem even weirder – why would she write “you don’t have consent” on a napkin and give it back to you? Consent for what? She could just write “no” to the number – it makes no sense to write “you don’t have consent” in that context. It really reads like her joking with you and it not coming across properly. But I think you… Read more »