Sitting here like uninvited company
Wallowing in my own obscenities
I share a cigarette with negativity
Sitting here like wet ashes with X’s in my eyes
And drawing flies

Bathed in perspiration drowned my enemies
Used my inspiration for a guillotine
I fire a loaded mental cannon to the page
Leaning on the pedestal that holds my self denial
Firing the pistol that shoots my holy pride
Sitting here like wet ashes with X’s in my eyes
And drawing flies

And I said “Hey what you yellin’ about
Conditions, permission, mirrored self-affliction?”

“Hey what you yellin’ about
Sadists’ co-addiction, perfect analogies?”

“Hey what you yellin’ about
Conditions, permission, mirrored self-affliction?”

Leaning on the pedestal that holds my self denial
Firing the pistol that shoots my holy pride
Sitting here like wet ashes with X’s in my eyes
And drawing flies

724 comments on “About

  1. Hey Rollo. This happened three days ago; A group of people came to my store and I had to give them service. In that group there was a former coworker who I tried to take home once. She was with her guy friends and a girl friend which Ive seen several times with her parents. Now for the fun part, this girl is a lesbian, Ive seen her come in with different other masculine women every now and then. And they show affection etc. This time, She showed IoIs, body language, eye contact, playing with her hair while I took her order, giggly; she used to be cold and serious while placing the order. These lesbians, they are not with a man but the woman they are with are practically a behavioral copy of a man to certain extent. Except for the ones that got traumatized after being raped, could you say that lesbian women are that way because they havent interacted with a masculine guy? Or is it just some type of shit test?

    1. Rollo, I am in the middle of reading The Rational Male. I am realizing through my own experience in relationships and life in general that your book series is only confirming what I have know all along but have been blind to, my question is: Is it possible for a man and a woman to be actual friends? I have a friend, I love her husband (and her entire family really) but I feel like I am the Plan B. This was the biggest epiphany from reading your books. She fits all of the criteria, I honestly just want to be friends. I genuinely feel bad for her husband. I don’t want to end the friendship but I feel that I should make myself scarce for their sakes.

  2. I understood sexual fluidity but this kid is around 19-21. I bet all her straight guy friends are waiting for a change to smash that. There is no need to choose from your own gender when the opposite is available; unless she is trying to stretch her prospects line up.

  3. This stuff has been extraordinarily helpful. Your BPD girl sounds astoundingly similar to mine. If you have a minute I’d like to ask you a bit more about how you went back to developing healthy relationships after you split with her.

  4. Rollo, I’m interested in a p rivate consult. Look forward to hearing from you. Trailblazerdc at gmail dot com

  5. Rollo, I’m interested in a personal consultation over the phone. Please contact me at trailblazerDC at gmail dot com

  6. Rollo,

    The last time that WordPress did an update the blogs lost their side bar widget of latest commenters. It’s happened here, as well, and as many people seem to utilize it I thought you would like to know.

  7. Hi Rollo,

    I really like your blog and i’m interested to advertise on it..if interested send me a email.

  8. Hi Rollo

    I have a rather time-sensitive question if you’re so inclined.

    In short, how do I handle a woman who’s not meeting my relationship standards? In other words, we’re having sex and spending time together, but she doesn’t want take it much farther than that, and maintains a longing for some guy overseas. She views me as a boytoy, and has said as much.

    If I don’t want to fulfill that role, what can I do? Is telling her to fuck off my only option? Do I ignore her texts? Or is there a way to bend her to my will of having a more serious relationship?

    If it matters we’re both 30’s, living in a major US city, she’s probably a 9 and I’m probably an 8. We both get tons of attention from the opposite sex, (which doesn’t exactly help matters.)

    rad1oh3d at gmail dot com

  9. Hi Rollo

    I have a rather time-sensitive question if you’re so inclined.

    In short, how do I handle a woman who’s not meeting my relationship standards? In other words, we’re having sex and spending time together, but she doesn’t want take it much farther than that, and maintains a longing for some guy overseas. She views me as a boytoy, and has said as much.

    If I don’t want to fulfill that role, what can I do? Is telling her to fuck off my only option? Do I ignore her texts? Or is there a way to bend her to my will of having a more serious relationship?

    If it matters we’re both 30’s, living in a major US city, she’s probably a 9 and I’m probably an 8. We both get tons of attention from the opposite sex, (which doesn’t exactly help matters.)

    rad1oh3d at gmail dot com

    (sorry if a duplicate post)

  10. Hey Rollo,

    A buddy of mine told me to take a look at your blog and I’ve gotta say, there’s quite a bit here. Congratulations on all of the success. If possible, could you recommend one or two articles/ blog posts which concisely summarize your theory?


  11. To Rollo

    I have a lot of appreciation for this blog and have been reading it for a while. I would like to ask or consult you about two things. I’ve been snooping round the blog and still haven’t found anything concrete to do with flaking, and the reasons behind it as well as the different forms of it. I’ve had some bizarre experiences with it, so I was wondering if you could forward me something about that? I also have something else I would like to consult you about but I would prefer to do so via email if that’s alright: thetrueandonly@outlook.com

    Please keep up these insightful posts, I honestly think you’re helping more people than you realize.

    Many thanks.


  12. Rollo,

    Props on the great blog, its been incredibly valuable to me, as have your Iron Rules from Sosuave. Would really like to have a consult with you and also you a couple questions career questions.

    Email address: mxpx34dd@hotmail.com

    Thx bro!

  13. I got into it with a female friend the other day about gas lighting and I had a realisation about how it conforms to the fem-centric ideal…

    The logic goes like this;

    1 – A women doesn’t like something you do…
    2 – You tell her to stop being paranoid/crazy/stupid…
    3 – She thinks you are deliberately gaslighting her because she feels you were doing something to upset her…

    (and here’s the key)

    4 – If you don’t agree with her, then you must be gaslighting her because she is made to doubt the validity of what she saw…
    5 – But by doing this, it could be said that she is gaslighting you because you now doubt the validity of what you did…

    You see how that big circle jerk/circular logic works?

    Either way, if you don’t agree with what a women feels, you are being emotionally abusive to her

    It’s pretty slick…

    I did a search on your site for the term but couldn’t find it. It would make an interesting blog entry


    Dan G

  14. Hya doin Rollo

    Can you send me an email address where I can submit a confidential field report?? … much appreciated.. thanx

  15. Hey. I can’t believe the manosphere hasn’t yet discovered the French philosopher Jean Baurdillard. He wrote articles and books in the 80s that would make any manosphere post or article from this year seem shallow and banal. His theories go beyond anything I have read on the subject. Would be incredible to see your take on him, Rollo. Don’t be put off by Baudrillard being called a leftist thinker, he is not, but neither is he rightwing. He has largely been ignored and ridiculed by academia for his writings on feminism, and what makes him so interesting is that you need to have some experience living to be able to understand anything he writes. Manginas and white knights I assume are just unable to “get” what he means. His whole spiel is why reality itself is doomed, feminism being a symptom of this, and that you should enjoy the ride.

  16. Wow. Stumbled here a month or so ago, a friend on FB shared a post on chivalry. I think I’ve devoured the whole manosphere since then. So much of this clicked in place with the observations of my 48 years of living. Working on married game, I have a five year old daughter that deserves two happy parents. Baby steps, for both of us, I was raised straight up hippy feminist beta by an unhaaaapy divorced mom who shamed my dad in my presence and surrounded me with hippy effetes and gay men and replacement daddies along the way. Just a few weeks of working this tho, I can already see little changes. This helped me face the fact that Led Zepplin so bluntly stated: She’s just a woman. Feeling unfairly put upon that I have to set the tone, the agenda, EVERY DAY, doesn’t matter. Won’t help, it is what it is. Thank you for this blog, and the links you have provided, I hope it’s not too late for me.

    On a more pedestrian note, anyone watching the misandric understory in the Office recently? When Jim was just struggling to get his new biz started and had to sink $10k without telling her to do it, all she could do was whine and complain. Her her her, whine whine whine. Now that he’s on the verge of big success and overhears him turning it down “for her” she is now showing remorse and she’ll want him to go for it, “because she wants him to do it for him”. How convenient. Watching after starting to ingest the red pill and with a new understanding of our feminist wrecked society makes the show almost not even funny anymore. Thank goodness for Kevin!

  17. Rollo, I recently read Swoon: Great Seducers and Why Women Love Them by Betsy Prioleau. Detailed studies of popular ladies’ men. And much of it seems at odds with Game. For example, these men might be more likely to run after a girl and say “I had to meet you!” and wear their desire on their sleeves rather than be aloof. That’s just one example. You might find it an interesting read. And I would be very interested in your thoughts on it.

  18. I like “Rational Male” better than “The Rational Male”. Rational Male implies a grander encompassing state, philosophy, way of thinking, etc.. The Rational Male sounds smaller, as though it’s referring to a specific person.

  19. Hi Rollo,

    I would appreciate your thoughts on some aspects of male psychology. Could you send me an email? Thank you.

  20. Rollo,

    Thanks for what you put into this. Would it be possible to contact you via email?

  21. Hello Rollo.
    I have important things to tell you. Thanks for being, man. Thank you.

    Hit me at tylertavlemma {at} lavabit {dot} com

    Thanks for being, Rollo.

  22. Rollo,

    I have more questions about the Mid-Life Crisis that I wanted to ask. My email is included here, so please send me a personal message.

  23. Rollo,

    I knew about your blog from Krauser’s interview on London Real but only about 5 days before I read it. Needless to say, along with Krauser’s and Heartiste’s Blog, various other forums and a few books, it have given quite an enlightened perspective.

    I have been studying game for about one and a half years now, but financial and residency conditions have inhibited me to implement it.

    If you do entertain such requests, I’d like to mail you my past, how The Game changed my mindset, a lose plan to cultivate my identity over the next decade (I am 25 now) and eventual intimacy goal for your review and comments.

    It’ll be a great help.

    My email ID is saagar.sachdev@gmail.com

  24. Hey Rollo,

    I’ve been reading your writings for a while now, and it’s been a huge help.

    One suggestion; can you make your search box more visible. I often find myself going through old articles but accidentally type into the subscription box.

    Thanks to you and others, I’m paying it forward.


  25. Dear Rollo,

    I’ve been reading your articles for quite some time now, and have never been disappointed. I truly do appreciate the contributions you’ve made to the manosphere.

    I started – as early as I can remember – at the No Ma’am blog… which I believe has now become Fedrz’s Blog (or something like that). I don’t even know what initially led me there – perhaps a Wiki-walk.

    It doesn’t really matter. What I wanted to say is that I am a MGHOW, and I have a blog of my own at emperorlubu.com – in which I’ve mentioned your work (with links to them) more than once.

    I was hoping that you’d stop by sometime this week and take a look at my latest post on Western marriage. If you like it, I’d be honored to be added to your already impressive Blogroll.

    Regardless of whether or not you do end up adding me, I’d like to just once hear your opinion on my writing… from a respected fellow MGHOW.

    Cool? Thanks.
    – Emperor Lu Bu

  26. Rollo, I don’t know any other way to contact you so I’m posting here. I am going to be self-publishing a red pill marriage guide later this week and I was hoping you would give me permission to include your now-ubiquitous SMV chart in my chapter about the sexual marketplace. The chart is fully referenced to your site and I also included your website in the list of resources at the back of the book.


  27. I wouldn’t hold your breath, Don.
    Rollo doesn’t seem to check his “About” comments as frequently as he used to.
    I haven’t even heard back from him, and it’s been nearly two WEEKS since I wrote the comment prior to yours.

  28. Rollo:
    I’m writing here,a short reply,just to thank you.
    I started reading about the Red Pill related stuff here,in your blog.After that,well,i started to browse the sosuave forum,return of kings,and so on.
    And man…did it change my life.I am a 20 years old man,who is still changing from a pathetic AFC to an awoken man.It is hard,but i am already seeing the rewards,the most important being able to have some respect for me,have a sense of worth…and yes,getting laid.
    You have made me a better man,and for that there is not enough space in this box to write a sincere “thank you” that accurately depicts how grateful i am about people like you who try to help so many clueless men as i was into becoming better men.I hope that someday i will be able to help others to unplug from the Matrix too.
    A sincere thanks from Uruguay.You and the manosphere are getting international.

  29. Rollo i really need some advice and some help putting a current situation into perspective.

    My mom got divorced for the 3rd time earlier this year. Her whole family turned their back on her and sided with her ex, which left her with basically no support system. I’m 25, she’s 48. I live with my younger brother and a mutual friend in a 4 bed. We all begrudgingly agreed to house her for a few months, but that was 8 months ago.

    My problem is basically that she can’t understand our contribution and our sacrifices for her. We’ve done everything we can for her and its basically taken for granted. she constantly pulls the “I’m your mother I deserve to be treated with respect” card when she’s losing an argument. She even called me bipolar to win an argument a few months back. most of our arguments center around me not wanting to be mommy’s little helper. I’ve basically told her my help is conditional and that unconditional love has a limit. She finds this deeply offensive but I told her I need to protect myself emotionally and maintain distance. She tries to paint the picture of me as a bad and unattentive son despite the fact I’m her only blood relative willing to house her. I have another brother who won’t talk to her and her parents and siblings are too busy hangin with their adopted son in law.

    Basically, I understand this is a low point for her, but the message society gives young men is to be useful or perish. this is the message I want to get through to her, but she’s too busy with her status of professional victim to appreciate my sacrifice.

    It’s a vicious cycle. Maybe she needs a favor. My response is a hearty belly laugh and a “fuck you remember when you called me bipolar 3 months ago and didn’t apologize?” she doesn’t see her own hand in this dynamic. Documenting fights and calling cops and crying in court worked on her dad and husbands, but it has no effect on my brother or I. she tries to make the rules and intimidate us but we just say get the fuck out an leave it at that.

    She’s moving out next month and I told her I don’t want to reinitiate a relationship until I know she’s in therapy. Idk if she’s bpd bipolar mentally Ill or what. There is mental illness, alcoholism, drug addiction and suicide on both sides of my family so nothing would surprise me.

    Basically I’m not getting thru. I feel like she’d rather lose the last of her family than admit she’s wrong. my roommate that’s not my brother has a similar situation. He’s never met his grandma because his dad cut off contact when he was 14 and never looked back. is this what it takes?

    I’m not getting thru to her and don’t know what to do. She cramps my style but still lives in my house, so it could be worse. I feel like the problem is more existential. I’ve read roissy for 4 years and your blog since day one but nothing could have prepared me for this. It’s starting to feel like a final unplugging of sorts. I feel a little twinge of guilt (it’s my mom after all) but that feeling is dying too. it’s helped my game immeasurably — when girls see how ruthlessly I treat my mom they are on their best behavior and the bjs are like water — but not without considerable emotional turmoil.

    Advice, context, roadmap, please? I really need your help this is not a question for roissy.

    Much love you are helping more men than you’ll ever know never stop.

    (Written on iPod usually my aingrish syntax and grammar are much better)

  30. Hi Rollo,

    It would be much appreciated if you could hit me up with an email. I would like to ask your advice regarding a particular issue.

    turtle_x99@ hotmail.com

  31. http://emperorlubu.com/2013/09/22/in-defense-of-the-mghow-singularity/

    I wanted you to hear this from me first, Rollo.
    Understand that I have nothing but respect for your personal fight. Western marriage is precarious even in the BEST of situations (which I’ll go ahead and assume you have), so I can sympathize with your plight.

    I still think you’re one of the great voices out there in the manosphere.
    I hope you can appreciate that.

    – Emperor Lu Bu

  32. Hi Rollo. I’ve got a situation that could benefit from your outstanding rational insight. I guarantee you’ll find it interesting and fodder for new posts–red pill reality requires men to have good strategies in this category, I haven’t seen it covered well anywhere, and you are the right person to address it. I’d love a consult in whatever form it can work for you, e.g., phone, email, whatever. I’d be happy to compensate you for your time.

  33. Hey Rollo-

    Long time reader, have the book already. I was wondering if you could drop me a line-I have a question/problem that was wanting to send to you via email. Thanks,


  34. Hey Rollo,

    Just finished reading The Rational Male. Found it fascinating, though still lost on a lot of references made. For instance, is there a good, concise definition of Red Pill vs. Blue Pill. I get a sense of it, but haven’t found the spot where it is actually defined.

    I also had some epiphanies. Wife and I have always had a good sex life, but suddenly this summer she just got wet all the time. Wasn’t till I read the book and hit one spot (don’t remember exactly where mentioned), that I realized she turned on that way after I started working out this spring, adding weights to my swimming regimen and lost 10 pounds.

    Everyone always envied me for being thin, so it was never that I was out of shape, I was just never “in” shape. She says she has no idea why she is so wet these days, but now I know. I like how I look, feel good, it shows, and she responds.

    Obviously I have a lot more to learn, and discuss.

    And curiosity, what are these consults you and others keep talking about?

  35. I found some interesting numbers on marriage ages that may have some correlation to your SMV chart.

    Median marriage ages

    In 1890 the median age for a man to marry was 26. But what was the median age that most men started working in 1890?

    Most men didn’t even graduate high school in 1890 (few careers required a high school education). I would ballpark the median age most men then started working to be around 16. Which means by 26, most men had been working at least a decade–establishing their career and building up their income and status.

    You could argue that the typical man in 1890 reached his SMV peak at 26.

    The median age for women to marry in 1890 was 22. So in 1890 you have both men and women marrying at their SMV peak.

    After WWII, the percentage of males that graduated from high school as well as the number that went on to college went way up. Consequently, the age that men started their careers went from 16 to 18 (or 23 in the case of the college grad).

    While women continued marrying at their SMV peak (early 20’s) men started marrying younger (median age of 23). Long before they had time to establish themselves in life and long before their SMV peak.

    Is it any wonder the women’s anti-marriage, “fish & bicycle” movement started in the 1950’s? Maybe the root problem was you had women at their SMV peak marrying men who were far from their SMV peak.

    Your chart puts a man’s SMV peak in the 35 age range. That’s about 10 years after the typical man finishes college; that’s 10 years he has been working on his career and establishing himself in life.

    Just as it took 10 years after leaving school and entering the workforce for a man in 1890 to reach his SMV peak, it takes modern men 10 years to reach their SMV peak.

    Because the modern industrial age requires so much more preparation & education for a man to succeed, it has pushed back the age men start their careers, and thus pushed by the age they reach they start their careers by about 9 years (16 to 25) , and thus has pushed back the age men reach their SMV peak by about 9 years (26 to 35). Your chart is supported by the 1890 numbers, if you compensate for age a typical man finished his education and entered the workforce.

    A man’s SMV peak is less about age and more how he has established himself in life. For the typical man (in 1890 or today) that seems to take about a decade of work.

  36. I was intrigued by your blog post on feminity and it’s facade of mystique and comments that related it to Greene’s 48 Laws of Power (apparent weakness, morality, and irrationality as a guise to the cold and calculating ways of traditional womenfolk). I know this all too well from the way the matriarchs in my family manipulate the men dogs. Interesting and thoughtful look at how genders really interact. I’ll be back for more!

  37. Rollo, I have e-mailed you tonight hoping for a consult. I know you are busy – even one reply would be greatly appreciated.

  38. Rollo,

    I’ve been reading a lot of your posts in the last few weeks… I am really enjoying them and most of the ideas you’ve presented are enlightening.

    I am a little confused how I should go about figuring out if a particular woman would be LTR/marriage material. Since women love opportunistically I’m not too sure what to do with this information… I am aware of it and won’t fall prey to someone trying to take advantage of me. Should I also love opportunistically? I feel like even if I tried it wouldn’t be satisfying…

    I guess I’m not entirely sure what I’m asking just looking for some wisdom

    (Background info: I’m 20 and starting my second year at university so not looking to settle down any time soon… gonna be spinning plates for a while)

    p.s. Thank you for sharing your wisdom on here, I appreciate you spending many hours typing up your posts and responses… I thoroughly enjoy reading it all

    from your mate in Australia

  39. My smoking hot ex told me about your blog. Actually, he claimed credit for some of your best work. He’s one of my favorite Alphas. Always fun and living by the letter of the alpha law. It’s cute.

    I love your concepts and love reading your blog. Keep up the great work!

    – Kristen

  40. Rollo, Thanks for the blog. You really should check out a paper written by Janet Yellen’s (Federal Reserve Chairswoman who replaced Ben Bernanke) Nobel Prize winning husband. It is on the inevitable collapse of markets that “lemons” are allowed to exist due to asymmetric information between sellers and buyers. It is an absolute gem by one of the most famous economists alive today.

  41. Rollo, I will be reading your latest series with interest. Meanwhile, have a look at this. All the best.

  42. Forest: I want to first say thank you to Rollo for such a wonderful blog. Though I had scanned articles here and there for a few months, I took the time to systematically read Year 1 of The Rational Male last night (along with most of the comments) – literally for more than eight hours straight, I couldn’t sleep, it was so insightful and engaging – and then finished with Year 2 during the day today after a nap.

    Of the “Trinity” of the manosphere, I find Rollo to be the most clear, systematic, and philosophical of the three Ros: Roissy, Roosh, and Rollo. Here is my opinion of the style and talents of each:

    Roissy has a very good grasp of the element of cultural decline, and feminism as a nation-destroying and culture-destroying ideology, but is also well read, very witty, and quite frankly absolutely hilarious at times. His insights are all over the place, but he does manage to draw the reader in with his engaging style and is always fun to read in his articles and comments. His blog also has a frat boy “just do it” atmosphere that most men, myself included, really need after swallowing the Red Pill – action is the most important step in self-improvement, and only then can a fulfilling relationship on your terms follow. His historical sense and racial awareness may alienate some, and sometimes there are asides, but it is tough to argue that he is not very insightful and always readable and fun.

    Roosh seamlessly intermingles PUA with cultural analysis and despair regarding feminism, and is a man of both reflection and action. He has the most international experience of the three, has very tight Game, and is a great introductory author to read, because really, for most men, it is important to intersperse a “how to” guide and to let them know that they are not alone when treated in a shitty way by superficial women. Return of Kings does this quite well also. A weakness is that sometimes he is so jaded he ignores the religious and ethical building blocks of cultures, which often are a foundation for the kind of mating environment that he seeks.

    Rollo, of the three, is the most philosophical, to the point that I would argue that he is a philosopher. And I don’t use this term lightly, because he has thought through and pondered very perplexing issues in a systematic and purely rational way, devoid of appeals to authority, and supplemented by rather than reasoned from experience. The work of Rollo is a prerequisite to fully understand the work of either Roosh or Roissy, and really he does a wonderful service for millions of men around the world. He supplements his philosophical arguments with insights from psychology, biology, and experience, but these are never primary. Really, these insights are worth hundreds if not thousands of dollars and quite literally save lives, so it is really wonderful and generous that he has this blog as a public service.

    A weakness of Rollo’s methodology in my view is that feminism is in my opinion simply a popular variant of Cultural Marxism, which in turn depends on economic Marxism, that in turn depends on the defeat of industry and native capital by the hands of International Capital and political conspiracy. The purism of Rollo makes his analysis culture-independent and organic, but I am personally sympathetic to the view of feminism as simply one form of resource war within society (e.g., Kevin Macdonald, Culture of Critique, etc.). Nevertheless, those larger issues are beyond anyone’s control, and the best focus is on one’s personal life and relationships, which is what Rollo does, to his credit.


    Rollo is very insightful in most if not all of his posts, save for the ones about the semantics of the feminine imperative, which I found confusing. Given my situation, ones that touched me were The Desire Dynamic, Letting Go of Invisible Friends, Hypergamy Doesn’t Care, and Relational Equity.

    The essence of my personal situation was that an LDR became a real relationship, and my viewpoint was that the relational equity I built by remaining “faithful” would translate into genuine desire (but really it was only an attempt at negotiated desire). Also, by the end, I had to break off the engagement as broken promise after broken promise and manipulation I finally became disillusioned, and far from having built Relational Equity, I felt that I was merely a tool for her Hypergamy, which really did not give a shit about me. Was that completely the case? Probably not, but she made requests which essentially denied my goals (no children for the first few years of marriage) and at this point I had to break it off to prevent a lifetime of increasing abuse. So, while I don’t consider myself a complete AFC, I think that this girl in particular was able to take advantage of my reciprocity, psychological weaknesses, and perhaps ONEitis to essentially treat me as a tool in her hypergamy maximization quest.

    To be frank, what drove me to the Red Pill was not so much the ending of the engagement, but getting stood up by a 40 year old. This was a blow to my ego (especially after I ended an engagement), as my former fiance was both 26 and very beautiful, and I wondered how a 40 year old woman who I had chemistry and was considering seeing just to avoid loneliness could have such insolence. After reading several blogs, I became immersed, but I will always come back to The Rational Male for the framework I need, especially when down, rejected (dating and arousing girls is tough!) but most importantly, when I am in an LTR, so that I don’t lose frame and let her walk all over me as before.

    I just wanted to add, my religious views aside, fundamentally, women are toys. When you accept this, and accept (no money, no toys; more money, more toys; a toy has no loyalty other than to its function) much of the other parts of the Red Pill will flow. Yes, women have consciousness and interact with you, but that does not change their purpose – it is to keep us company and ensure that we will not get bored. Game says – get more money, play with more toys – and this is a healthy attitude – for me personally due to beliefs, this would not include going all the way, but teasing, flirting, and treating them like replaceable toys is especially important, even more so in an LTR.

    18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Genesis 2:18

    Really, treating a woman as anything other than someone who adjusts to you to help you realize your goals is not only fundamentally anti-God,and anti-nature but ultimately completely counterproductive also.

  43. Superb blog. Thank you so much for the insights. Finding it really helpful.

    Would be most grateful for an article specifically about how men of age 40 and above might game women of age 18~23. Talk about some examples and case studies.

    For example, online dating is very difficult for men over 39 if they are aiming to meet women of age 18~23, and we’re not into going to clubs anymore either. So, we’re left with daygame, bars that cater to a wider age range, social circle game or putting ourselves in other situations where we might meet very young women without being seen as “creepy.”

    And, if money, status and fame are not present, what should we focus on. Working out, dressing better (but not too young), etc. What kind of game would work, etc.

  44. Rollo, can you a post on the recent Christy Mack assault story ? since she does porn, has a high SMV and has what many would say is an Alpha boyfriend; I am interested in any commentary you could provide in terms of hypergamy or Alpha/ Beta, or Dread dynamics. Thanks.

  45. Hi guys,

    I found the blog some time ago on Reddit and bookmarked it.
    How should I approach the reading? Are there some introductory articles? Or, I’m guessing: start with year one, two and so on.

  46. Rollo would be curious how race affects everything.

    asian men, can scale up in value (career, wealth, prestige) in a still white dominated society which is “beta bux” yet practically alpha fux is a more white American construct. Obviously still applied to other countries but how it manifests is quite different.

    And do you find certain advantages (disadvantages) highlighted when a minority makes conscious changes to lifestyle/game:
    For instance asian man getting ripped = highly potent way to fuck white women (sometimes more attractive than white)
    Black man in high powered law/business position = unique and dominant

    Any thoughts here would be interesting to read. Thanks.

  47. Rollo, with your situation so good via your knowledge, its awesome that your have the internet MEDIUM to help guys.
    And Christian of you to help

  48. I was gonna off myself, and I found your blog, it makes me sad, but everything you’ve written has shown personal anecdotal evidence. I love it, I’m sad to be cleansing myself of my AFC mindset, but it feels so good. The hardest part to accept is that I can never expect love like I think it should be, but this seems to be the biggest thing to remind myself

  49. Your thoughts on this? … It’s funny that this woman is exactly what you describe in your blog…a social misfit, that is past her prime and ever so insecure…also terrified of taking care or herself financially like a man despite living in western society…. Please chime in…Your insights are always appreciated.

  50. Hi Rollo, long time reader (and owner of your first paperback) here. I am starting a blog to translate some game advice and would love to translate some of your articles to portuguese (actually translated the first of plate theory series), always giving credit. What do you think of that?

  51. Thank you Rollo, you saved my life. In october 2013 I was in a very bad marriage and thinking about suicide. That day I found your blog and that made see the reality (red pill). I perceived my real value in the SMP. In a few months started lifting weights, getting a lot of IOIs and divorced my wife. I was 33 yo and didn’t want my best years wasted in a horrible marriage. I was childless, reasonably well off, had a prenup. No reason to stay in that situation.
    Learning about the red pill and game brought me a lot of sucess with women, a sucess I never had before. I’m now in a LTR, and still using a lot of game. It’s now a part of who I’m. Thank’s to the manosphere I was able to identify the caracteristics I wanted in a woman for a LTR. However, I know I will never be able to stop performing (using game) if I want that LTR to last. It’s the reality, rather I like it or not.

    I own you so much, Rollo!

    John Doe, from Brazil

    BTW: In Brazil the prenups are easily and consistently enforced, alimony payments are in most cases temporary. The law says the child custody must be shared between both parents. If you want to marry, do that in Brazil.

    In fact the concepts of game were all too visible to me when I grew up in Rio de Janeiro, but I lost all my confidence in my 20’s. In Brazil, especially in Rio, everybody approach and practice game since their teens. I’ve never approached an american woman, but from what I read in the manosphere I think I’m in paradise here in Brazil.

  52. The level of cognitive dissonance here is astounding. All of these women are attracted to the muscled guy, most are honest. The ones that aren’t have to rationalize a reason for why they wouldn’t, either by projecting a bias to his motive of personality (without knowing him) or by using another criteria like height to exclude. With the exception of one woman (who is probably a multiple burnt alpha chaser) who stated she didn’t like muscly guys – the majority of the honest women at the beginning are attracted to the (repeatedly stated -> healthy/tanned) muscled guy, the tall guy gets some points for being tall (for tall women) and the short dad bod soft ghost white guy gets all the pitiable last second compliments after the lions share of veneration goes to the muscle guy/tall guy combo.

    Yet the ‘conclusion’ of the mini social experiment is that “all body types are attractive” and dadbod is a very interesting result. In the conclusion statements the rationalizations come up again (My boyfriend is shorter than me/i like harier guys/etc) with a deadpan delivery totally unaware that these are statements of people who settled for what they could realistically get in the market – NOT what they actually find ultimately attractive.

    This is head shaking stuff.


    Don’t go dadbod.

    Posting this here because nothing recent i can stuff this article into that i just came across.

  53. Rollo,
    I’ve noticed a phrase you’ve used several times in various topics that I have trouble getting my mind around.
    “To observe a process is to change it.”

    Could you explain this out a bit more to exactly what this statement means and how you’re applying it? Or point me to something you’ve written on the subject. I think I’ve read all your stuff, but I haven’t seen this expanded upon.

  54. Hi Rollo. I’m in the middle of Preventive Medicine and I have a few questions for you. Can you email me?

    schwi104 at mail dot chapman dot edu

  55. @Rollo

    Thank you. That’ll be all.

    An extract from my diary two years ago.

    I was lying on my bedroom floor on New Year’s Eve crying my eyes out puking my guts up because my ex-girlfriend had just posted pictures of herself on twitter in Las Vegas with some new dude she was fuckin. Looks like our relationship meant a lot. I knew I shouldn’t have looked at it but I just wanted to see a photo of her.

    So I’m lying there contemplating ending my life and you’re off fucking someone else you met two hours previously. That night was a turning point for me. One month I waited when we first got together I doubt he fuckin waited. I sat in the corner of my room tears streaming down my face with a bottle of jack in one hand and a smoke on the other. How could she? Didn’t we have something special?

    This was the cut to open up all the repressed dissociated emotions and memories I had for so long. I know that now. One event to release 20 years of repressed emotions and it was a torrent. Lying on the floor wrenching an emotional pain that I couldn’t help in the pit of my stomach, praying that death will come, I just wanted it to stop please god make it stop. How can you produce puddles of tears? How to possibly live the next few days. Everyone seems so happy why I can’t have that. What did I do to deserve this? Why did I get the dysfunctional psychotic mother? Dad where were you when I needed help. Why does everyone one of my relationships ends up with some needy, controlling bitch.

    It felt like I was vomiting up all this negative repressed shit inside me. But she was 29 going on 30 didn’t you want to be with someone I just thought you travelled for 3 years and now that’s not enough.

    I’m still here, getting stronger every day.

  56. Webmaster, I can’t seem to find an email address for you, so I’ll bring this forward here.

    Within the RSS feed,

    There is no opening Tag with Content. This makes me sad.

    It should be The Rational Male

    This can cause issues with RSS feed systems and unfortunately results in me missing out on taking my Red Pill from time to time.

    Thanks for your time.

  57. Dear Rollo,

    thank you so much for what you are doing! I have one question though, I was not able to “google” the answer for, so here it is, if you would answer it:

    Is it possible to switch the frame of the LTR from its original FEM-centric “balance” to a new one or is it defined by its original setup?

    In other words, is it possible, after a Red Pill awakening, to start gaming the marriage LTR and turn the tables to man’s advantage? I am asking, because I am trying to do exactly that, but the resistance is stiff and while it makes for some good sex after all those years of so-so, it seems to devolve into a soft version of “The War of the Roses”. I am about to hit my peak in a couple of years, so I want to make a wise decision on how to proceed. Is it possible to switch the frame or is the relationships’ frame more or less set in the beginning and there is only the perspective of hot make up sex (which is good) coupled with a constant domestic war over power, war that rages without respite (which is, frankly, not good, as I would like to find respite at home, having to deal with the “outside” world is warlike enough).

    Thank you for your answer.

  58. Thanks for your blog!

    Did you think about putting an Amazon affiliate link on your blog? This way one could support you (you could still donate the money) and it wouldn’t cost any extra money.

    Greetings from Germany

  59. Hi Rollo,

    I left my e-mail earlier and didn’t hear back. I’ve read both of your books and I’m a fan. There are a few things I’d like to say off the jumbotron. My e-mail is:

    sensitive.jerk (at) gmail dot com


  60. Hi Rollo,

    Got tips for getting into the whisk(e)y business? I’m thinking of switching from a regular office job to applying for a sales position for a new whiskey brand. I know a good deal about whiskey and the industry, but it would be a new role for me.

    dma9473 [(at)] gmail dot com


    1. Here’s your tip, start with a lot of money.

      Whisky is a rich man’s sport. If you want to get into spirits, look at exotics, like cachaca and seco. Vodka and classic spirits are hugely over impacted now.

  61. Been talking to a bartender the past few weeks, I usually go with the same friend to her bar. She flirts with me most times and doesn’t say much to him but the last time I was there she almost ignored me and talked to him. I’ve been on lock down just seeing one woman for a year but this feels like a shit test to me.

  62. This blog has massively changed my life and I am eternally greatful for you.

    I’m only 25. Currently I’m a door-to-door salesman and have been fascinated by salesmanship for 4 years now while also practicing it. For an introvert, door to door sales was by far the most difficult thing I ever decided to learn, although my motivation as to WHY was greater.

    I’m stuck in between a fork in the road right now Mr. Rollo Tomassi and would greatly appreciate your best advice possible.

    I have 2 choices right now where I know I can succeed in both if I just choose one.

    1st choice: become a dating coach for a HUGE company in the community.

    2nd choice: grow am Internet marketing business (MLM) and make millions that way.

    I’m not sure if I could do both, and the reason I say that is because I’m kinda afraid what my Internet marketing business partners would think of me if I grew this business to elite levels while at the same time I teach guys how to “fuck bitchez”, because that’s how the unthinking masses sees Game and Pick-Up Artistry. I basically am worried that if I do both (which I haven’t seen done yet) I can potentially be exposed and be seen as the typical stereotype of a pickup artist and I have this strange fear that all my hard work will be taken away.

    Ever since I found out about the Game, I became obsessed with it and was also EXTREMELY hard for me to implement because of how insecure I used to be. That didn’t stop me though. And thanks to pickup I have CORE confidence and I’m at ease in my own skin around practically anyone or any situation. I love the Game. I truly do.

    I don’t necessarily LOVE MLM but I know I can make it in that type of business because I am AMAZING with people thanks to sales and Game. I’ve also had many positive signs that say I should be doing this business. But at the same time I’ve HAD those signs for Game and teaching other guys how to be MEN in a feminist society. Plus I love women and have a backround that explains perfectly well why the Game even landed on my lap at 22 years old, randomly without ever looking for it. I was meant for the red pill and although it was harsh to swallow, I wouldn’t have it any other way!

    The only people who challenge me are the friends I’ve made in the Game who are also going through deep identity level change. I have friends that are blue pill who are also trying to be better, but I am 10x happier when I’m around red pill fully aware men.

    I know I’ve prepared well and will continue to do so. That’s why I see both as guaranteed success, because when I decide on something I see it till the end.

    And then there’s the idea that I love by Ralph Waldo Emerson which states to always take the road less traveled by and making a path where there was none. And I see that in Game.

    So I have a few questions:

    1) How have you personally dealt living in a blue pill world with red pill awareness and expertise?

    2) Is it possible for me to have the best of both worlds in an online marketing business (MLM) AND being able to teach Game and all the benefits that come with such an Art to other men, While being open about it?

    3) Where should I go? Could you give me logical, practical advice?

    4) I’m afraid that I will not be living true to myself if I had to hide Game from the people I know all because in a blue pill world Game aware men are stereotyped as manipulators, mysoginists, etc. Or should I learn how to be covert about it?

    Hope to hear from you at your leisure.


  63. You’re writing saved my life. It brought back the real me before my trauma. I’ve always felt alpha but ptsd won’t allow that. I was wondering, if we are to look at game and hypergamy in comparison to the matrix, would women be agents? Or would they also be capable of swallowing the red pill and accepting reality?

  64. @lodgerob13
    “I was wondering, if we are to look at game and hypergamy in comparison to the matrix, would women be agents? Or would they also be capable of swallowing the red pill and accepting reality?”

    Brother mine life as well. I don’t think so. It takes away it’s effective edge on an evolution stand point. Women could be compared to agents. Yet mostly on territory. Women like trinity are few and when called out can become put in a tough spot. Nothing’s black or white but experience internalized helps a bunch. When trinity says “the matrix has you neo” that’s her being aware of the system and explicitly speaking about it.

    1. @rugby11ljh I see your point. However I do know a hand full of women who discuss the way things are with us humans and they seem aware of game on a subconscious level. That’s why it begs to question if there are few that are capable of embracing the truth

  65. Hi RT,

    I’m a young guy just out of college and I have a severe sticking point with my post RP-acceptance frame of mind that I can’t overcome.Vague, I know. But I was hoping I could get some help… It would be awesome if would take a few minutes to read an email and let me know what you think.



  66. Rollo, I consider myself as middle aged (59) just leaving a marriage of 36 years. As you’ve said in your post “The bitterness of the Red Pill” I’ve had a real difficult time fully swallowing everything but now after 1 1/2 years I’m pretty much fully converted. I know I can never go back. One thing that would be nice that might help older (or should I say more mature) men would maybe be to issue some warnings to the costs of swallowing the red pill. I’ve paid a dear price for believing the truth and for shedding my blue pill past. I can never go back but the RP truths have cost me dearly. If your interested I would be glad to share my story and maybe a little advice for those new to the red pill. Just let me know.

  67. Rollo,

    I just finished reading your post called “Casualties.” It’s an eye-opener for me, and it’s really helped me understand how unacceptable it is to believe in something called the ONE. A year ago, my then girlfriend broke up with me, and like so many other men, I believed she was the “ONE” who I was “destined” to marry. I was so wrong, and I too even had thoughts of suicide when she left. In hindsight, it’s glaringly obvious that this false belief and so many others contributed to my complete loss of self-esteem a year ago.

    I’ve since then have slowly rebuilt the foundations of my life, not on a women, or the perceived hope of women, but my own achievement and success. This new-found confidence has given me a strong center, that has poured into other areas of my life — including women. I can attest that your blog, and a small selection of others in this movement have greatly helped turn my life around, and helped me out of a very long depression.

    Thank you for all you do.

    I just bought your latest book, and I can’t wait to read it.


  68. Hello Rollo, I’m interested in having a chat with you. Can’t thank you enough. Have lots of insights I would like to share with you. Please let me know!

      1. Hey Rollo,
        I wrote earlier thanking you for all your insights. Can’t thank you enough man! I told you in my last post about having a chat with you.
        I do not live in the U.S. I’m currently visiting. It would be an honor to chat with you and interview you about your new book and talk about the insights that I’ve seen in how Hypergamy applies in different contexts/cultures. I’m at California, have heard you live around. Let me know if I can meet you, I’ll be very glad to.

  69. I haven’t been able to find any manosphere literature on the phenomenon of less attractive girls giving men more attention than the more attractive girls.

    This has happened to me all my life and continues to this day. I always have an abundance of attention from middling women and a paucity of it from the girls I really want.

    Any resources on this phenomenon?

    Thank you.

  70. I am 29 years old, a single dad with full custody of my nine year old son, and an honors student at a top notch public university. I’m reasonably good-looking, tall and in good shape, but I’ve been crippled as a nice guy for most of my twenties. I would experience something good in my life and develop a big burst of confidence; I would start spinning plates, but would very quickly develop hardcore cases of ONEitis and enter into relationships.

    A little over two years ago I began working at a new location, and it wasn’t long before I noticed a very pretty, shapely blonde (five years my junior) who also worked there. Her babydaddy, who also worked there at the time, told me that she was trouble and had cheated on him, which is an obvious red flag. He is most definitely a ladies’ man, so hearing that she cheated on him made me think that she was really scandalous. He quit shortly after I got there, but she still had a reputation as a slut among all the guys who worked there. Because of that, I didn’t show any interest in her although I did find her attractive. After I had been working there for a couple months she started chasing me, contacting me first via Facebook and practically begging for me to take her out. Because of everything that I had heard however, I just blew her off. I didn’t want to get involved with potential drama or STD’s. She then switched tactics, portraying herself as mother of the year and constantly attempting to show me how close she was to her son. A struggling single mother who just couldn’t meet the right guy. I fell for it, sorry to say, and took her out. She charmed me, told me that everything that I had heard about her was a lie, and that babydaddy was an abusive asshole who didn’t give a fuck about his kid. I bought it hook, line, and sinker. She made me wait about three weeks to fuck, but when I finally got it I developed serious ONEitis. She swallowed, took it in the ass, and did basically whatever I wanted in bed. I felt like a king. We moved in together about a month later, and about three months after that, while reaming her ass out oddly enough, I said that I wanted to marry her. She accepted, and we decided to get married exactly one year after the first time that we had fucked.

    Up until the wedding, everything was good for the most part. We lived together as a family and told our respective sons that they were now stepbrothers. I became a full-time dad to her son, who only saw his own father every other weekend if that, and the kid loved me to death. My own son bonded with her and she tried hard to be a replacement mother for him, but he was much less enthusiastic, which should have been a sign, but I just shrugged it off as trouble adjusting. She became more open about her sexual past, which I found really slutty, and I told her quite forcefully that I didn’t want to hear it. She complied, saying that she would do anything to make me happy. It did concern me, but I told myself that everyone is wild when they’re young. We only had one real fight during this time: she was flirting with another guy at work, going on smoke breaks with him incessantly, etc. and it pissed me off. I confronted her about it, told her to stop or I would leave her, and again she backed down, saying that she would never do anything that might jeopardize what we had. Little did I know what lay ahead.

    We were married on a Saturday, and the following Wednesday my new bride did a complete 180. She started saying that she didn’t want to be some old lady, that she wasn’t ready to settle down, that all I wanted to do was stay at home and that was boring, etc. She started going out and partying constantly, with major fights erupting as soon as she got home. This time she refused to stop, even when I threatened to leave. The sex never died down, but she was insanely disrespectful and pretty much acted like a rowdy teenager 24/7. All we ever did was fuck and fight.

    The University had accepted me into a three week study abroad program in Europe to begin six months after we were married, and we agreed that I would spend the three weeks there and that after the program ended she would join overseas for a week-long honeymoon. The way things were going, I had begun not to trust her and I used the honeymoon as an excuse to have every red cent of our income tax return transferred into my private account. This later turned out to be a very wise decision on my part. At first, while I was abroad studying she would call and text regularly to report on the kids and tell me how much she missed me. She would send naked photos and remind me of what she was going to do to me when she arrived. I remained faithful to her while in Europe, at least until she pulled this bullshit:

    One night she called to tell me that she was going out to the downtown club district with one of her girlfriends. Normally this would have caused an argument (because it was such a regular thing) but because I was in Paris at the time I knew that there was nothing that I could do. I told her to go out and to have a good time and to call me when she got home. Well, she never called me because she never came home. She finally returned my calls a day later, acting as if nothing was amiss. She claimed not to have spent any money, because “random people” bought all her drinks for her. I flipped the fuck out, called her every name in the book, and had my father (huge beta himself) go pick up my son until I got home to the States. I fucked two girls over there just to say “fuck her,” although I never told her about it. She called me repeatedly protesting her innocence and had her mother do the same, saying that she had just had a little too much to drink and had passed out at her girlfriend’s apartment. I wasn’t buying it. I told her not to fly to Europe; I had all the money and there was nothing that she could say. She spoke to my father though, and he told me that her story was plausible and that I had to give her the benefit of the doubt. She was my wife, after all. I relented, we made up over the phone, and I met her at the airport when she flew in.

    When she arrived she was a completely different person from the woman that I thought I knew. She was acting extremely erratic, telling me how much she loved me and then physically attacking me until I would restrain her, then having very passionate sex and screaming about how much she loved it. It was “fuck and fight” multiplied by a thousand. She would literally go from “I love you so much” to “I fucking hate you” to “Fuck me Daddy” in a span of about fifteen minutes. I was flabbergasted. As this so-called honeymoon ended, however, she began to calm down. She said that she knew that she had screwed up and promised to settle down when we got home so that we could focus on our marriage. I bought it. I thought that the “difficult first year of marriage” had finally ended, and ended early at that. But, of course, I was wholly unprepared for what came next.

    Three days after we came home, she told me that she wanted to separate. Not divorce, only separate and continue fucking. I wasn’t buying it and concluded that she must have another guy in the mix somewhere. Even as a blue piller, I knew that women are branch swingers by nature. I was in shock, heartbroken, and completely dumbfounded as to what the hell had happened to the woman I loved. Soon after she told me about our impending separation, a co-worker told me (she had switched jobs shortly before I went on my trip) that she had come to my job bragging about popping Molly (a form of Ecstasy) that night that she went downtown. I was incensed. Everything spiraled out of control, and I moved out. Interestingly enough, the day that I moved the last bit of mine and my sons’ belongings, she blew my phone up begging me to come back. Like a beta I acquiesced, but when I got there she didn’t want to fuck and said that she only wanted to “hold me.” We ended up fucking anyway, but I was still confused as to why the hell she was acting like this. Was this really the same girl that I had married and shared a family with? I was a pallbearer at her grandmother’s funeral for God’s sakes.

    The next day she went back into bitch mode, calling to argue (I also was foolishly calling to argue) and alternating between “I don’t know what I want” to “I want a divorce!” Trying to hit me up for money, etc. She made everyone around us think that I was an abusive asshole and swears left and right that she never cheated on me. I tried to patch things up multiple times, believing in the sanctity of marriage, and thought that I had finally succeeded when she said after about a month that she wanted to work things out. Her idea of working things out, though, was to be “friends” until she could “figure out what she wanted.” My own wife tried to friendzone me. I said “fuck that” and cut her off completely. We are now in preparations for divorce. Shortly afterwards, I discovered your site and started devouring red pill writings,

    I know the general gist of what I did wrong, wifing up a slut and all, and I understand that I gave her the upper hand by being monogamous and by letting her see that she had become an indispensable part of my life. I also see a complete lack of game in my dealings with her. Still, I can’t seem to get over her. It’s been nearly three months, I’ve gotten new pussy, yet I think about her and my (former) stepson every day, often for hours. I’ve started going back to the gym, but I am still constantly depressed and angry about everything that has happened. She treats me like fucking garbage, she has EVERY SINGLE ONE of the slut red flags posted here. But ONEitis persists. How do I get over it? I need some advice.

  71. @Mack
    That was brutal to read. Because your wife sounds like my sister. Do you have any place to go to hang out with males? I use rugby? Do you have anyplace to develops deep focus on yourself? Have you been able to get both of Rollos books and write your own life experiences in them a side notes?
    Don’t get to hard on your self. It’s course intuitive because your growing as much as I am. Remember that alpha is a mindset. The way you think of something and than act on it can be ultra alpha. But not everyone can practice that based off each of are unique circumstances.

    Man reading what you wrote gave me shivers with how it relates to the people I grew up with.

    I use this to help me deal with negative at times I can’t get away from. This is the only male site that has been able to get me away from all the old parts of myself I was told to be ok with because it benefited other people.

    Samurai Song
    Robert Pinsky, 1940
    When I had no roof I made Audacity my roof.
    When I had No supper my eyes dined.
    When I had no eyes I listened.
    When I had no ears I thought.
    When I had no thought I waited.
    When I had no father I made Care my father.
    When I had No mother I embraced order.
    When I had no friend I made Quiet my friend.
    When I had no Enemy I opposed my body.
    When I had no temple I made My voice my temple.
    I have No priest, my tongue is my choir.
    When I have no means fortune Is my means.
    When I have Nothing, death will be my fortune.
    Need is my tactic, detachment Is my strategy.
    When I had No lover I courted my sleep.

Speak your mind

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