For the past three years of The Rational Male there’s been a consistent presence in the comment threads of guys seeking advice for particular situations with regards to Game. Whether it’s fine tuning certain aspects of Game or a larger consensus of the guys participating in my comment threads it’s become obvious there’s a need for a dedicated page and comment thread to address these Field Reports.
So I’m instituting this page for exactly this. If there is some urgency to have members of The Rational Male community analyze your particular situation feel free to hit anyone up in the comments of my current post, but please refer them to your particular field report with a link to your comment here. I’m hoping this will alleviate the mass of posts for field report analysis and Game specific insights piled into the main blog post for any given week.
There will be some rules for this “forum” as such. I ask that you only keep your comments to addressing the field reports at hand and save your larger theoretical stuff for the main posts, or if relevant, keep the “bigger scope of things” posts to being as succinct as possible. There will be no moderation in this comment thread (spamming excepted), so realize it will be a very hot kitchen before you post. I will impose no restrictions on video links here, nor will I limit links to various, but pertinent articles.
Understand, this is an experiment for now. It’s likely this comment thread will exceed thousands of comments. I’ll be instituting new comment plug-ins for wordpress to deal with this in the future, but I may archive this page the the posts and refresh this page in the future as well. If this gets cumbersome I may simply institute a dedicated forum-style sub-site of The Rational Male to accommodate for Game specific questions.
So have at it, post your field reports and feel free to comment on the ones you have some particular insight for. Be forewarned that it’s likely things may get a bit salty at times and I expect a lot of back & forth with debate and disagreements, but that’s what this thread is for – to hash out Game particulars for your given situations.
Ill save Blax the trouble. I bought her a 2004 VW Passat wagon, from a Russian-speaking VW/BMW mechanic who does good, cheap work on the side. She loves it, and I love having a wagon.
Sailor,
Wrong again bro. Keep trying.
Beta Provider
@ asd
It was the word “employ” that got me. Different than “create” as you write.
Ads, You often have good advice for me. I don’t knock dread game at all, and agree that it should be a component of LTR game. I also think for some guys it will be a much larger component of their LTR game, than it will be for others. I often feel like I’m talking into the wind here. I don’t know how many times I’ve said that I agree with RP theory, and I never argue with RP theory. I know I’m not the only one who perceives that every man must find his own way of employing it.… Read more »
“banging their heads communally.. “
This.
At what point are men perceived as co-dependent? We lose the perceived-as-patient guys to a bunch of drama queens, listening to his circular arguments, denial, phony flattery, inaction.
“I know I’m not the only one who perceives that every man must find his own way of employing it.”
He’s denying the universals that all RP men employ, consciously or not. Dread is a hard wired female reaction to losing a valuable man. BP guys can argue against the reality to their detriment. Then again, BP guys have redefined detriment into benefit.
@ asd and others
Your comments reinforce the root benefits of RP, TRM.
Extracting the greatest ROI in life.
Example:
Alphas by definition are Frame strong and create dread naturally. Guys looking for more frame “employ” dread. Why? Because it works, and in time, if he doesn’t stall at dream girl stage, she’ll autodread.
Notice how much frustrated time, talent and treasure Mitch uses to get what others relatively get for free?
Pull that plow all you want, I prefer something else.
@Mitch – when you say “I agree with RP theory but every man must learn and apply it in his own way” – I don’t think anyone here disagrees with that principle. The problem is that pretty much everyone here thinks you are applying it the wrong way. Making RP your own does not include breaching its basic principles. To us it sounds like you saying “I believe in the basic principles of physics, but we all need to interpret them in our own way, and my interpretation is that the sun rises in the west”. It’s self-contradictory. Having said… Read more »
Peace out guys.
Time to part ways – as this is not adding value to me, and sounds like to you all either. Don’t want to take any more of your time.
Good luck!
We aren’t baiting you Mitch. We all hope the best for you and are in your corner. If only because you have a pair of numb nuts.
FR I was sitting in my family room with Mrs, daughter, and soninlaw. I told Mrs. to come to me…”Are you gonna spank me”, laughing…”Trust me”…she came over and I pulled her onto my lap, Mrs. Gamer laughing…I said to all, you have to watch your triggers and don’t let yourself get ambushed…daughter started to “discuss” (a shit test because of Mrs.’ Preselection), but SIL cut her off, saying, “Your dad has a lot of wisdom for men.” Daughter shut up. That probably doesn’t seem like much of a big deal to you guys. But I love having freedom from… Read more »
my vote is to let Mitch do his thing, which is what we all do…. take what you like, leave the rest; everyone is well-intentioned but that’s not the issue he’s right in that he is the only one with the minutiae to adjust for nuances; wholesale misapplications of RP are another issue and at this point persuading one way or the other is not gonna happen; let the man try his own way, he’s got a bit of underdog scrappiness that I like which dovetails nicely with a morbid fascination for up-and-coming trainwrecks…. I sure would like to know… Read more »
Mitch
Time to part ways
Youve said that before. Then you came back. Remember? Remember why?
Don’t lose the URL. Someone will be here to take that next emergency call…
I know y’all mean well – there’s just too much a feeling of spitting in the wind. There’s just too big of a gap between what I am trying to say and what apparently gets heard.
I wish all men here the best in your lives and loves.
Changing beliefs from blue to red in most cases takes a total deflation of ego. A guy like Mitch could buy and sell my digin’s no sweat off his ass. His pay is higher, his house is nicer, his wife is probably better lookin and he has more formal education. While he was typing his FR I was knocking one out with the Mrs, and we were both happy. We all have a tendency to stay the course till the last call. The woman is the one that usually calls it, the deflation of ego may follow last call, danger… Read more »
@ boulderhead
Testify. I was plenty satisfied as regular Joe, baby crib in living room, in a one bedroom, big city brownstone apartment.
Sex was our go-to recreation. Free and even bad sex was better than a good meal.
I have more shit to distract me now. All of it gained while betaized.
Odd thing now, since RPing, I don’t buy much. The desire waned.
We’re all dealing with the same shit, only at different magnitudes.
Satisfaction stems from how we react to it.
Reminds me of an experience working with an older wiser gent, the subject turned to attrition and the high turnover in our field of work.
I admitted that maybe I was to hard on the new guys.
He promptly told me that “you can’t be to hard on a man”.
Mitch This is rich… “Sentient, look, id pay money to take a class from you on picking up women. But LTR? Sorry bro, you are not my teacher there. That is not a comment on how you are in your own relationship- at all. I have no idea about that. I just know that you, sailor, dirka, and guys of that persuasion are not my teachers. Don’t take it personally – its not about you at all.” look mane… Been with the same woman going on 28 years now Mitch, 25 married. A 21YO 8 who i met when We… Read more »
ome back when you need support and I and others will try
Thanks. I really appreciate that.
@Eh
“Testify”
Got a heluva story. Still trying to figr how to condense it.
@Mitch
I take Sentients advice all the time, been married 12 years longer than him too and still have a hitch in my getalong. OTOH his attitude comes across in writing.
Last comment!! Shit, talk about no self-control, lol. Some of you guys are not understanding my point about advice – AT ALL. I must be speaking pig-Latin or something. Sentient, my saying you are not my teacher wrt LTR is not saying anything about whatever success YOU personally have had in that realm. Like i said, I have no idea about that. Had no idea. Now I do, and good for you. Your advice wrt to MY LTR does not resonate with me – and that is NOT about you or the quality of your advice. It does not resonate… Read more »
Insisting that you *know* what’s best for someone else is a way of disrespecting them. THIS is why you are not my teacher. You will be of little use helping men unplug if you do not respect their journey. The journeys are more similar than you think. Sure there are small differences everywhere, but the basic frameworks and strategies are very similar, the effective ones anyway, because AWALT, and AWALT really *is* true. There always has to be calibration, Mitch, to your own persona, but the basic strategies are the same, as are the basic red flags. You’re resisting that,… Read more »
Guys have to take advice at their own pace and based on their own experience. If someone is so invested in someone or something that it becomes their reality no amount of convincing will change them. I know from my own experience before discovering game and the Red Pill I was full of self-delusion. I’d get good advice but I’d still try my own thing. After things exploding in my face a few times I learned that the advice I was getting here was solid. You have to stumble before you walk. But you have to be committed to learning… Read more »
Nova,
I have not take the advice to divorce my wife and send her home. That is essentially the advice I have rejected.
Ego or whatever, that does not resonate with me.
Mitch (who has left the site again)
I have not take the advice to divorce my wife and send her home. That is essentially the advice I have rejected.
Aaaahhh…no. That’s a caricature. Although I’m sure it looks that way through your Purple Pill vision. Your blurry Purple glasses.
There is a Purple Haze clouding your vision.
Every Purple Pill Guy smugly says, “My girl is just a leeetle bit different.” Never mind that normal girls are wired biologically all the same. Training can make some difference and Game can have a major impact. “I want the guy no other girls want.” Said no girl ever. A negative statement of Preselection. We all should be getting lots of IOIs from girls when we’re out. Not primarily to cause Dread. Just because we’re flirting and having fun. Enjoying being men. It may take practice and conscious effort at first, but eventually it will be easy and should always… Read more »
@Mitch -since all of us are still responding to you, you’re clearly not the only one lacking self control! That said, we didn’t *initially* tell you to divorce your wife. If you go back and check my first reply to you months ago, I was far more encouraging (and so were many others). I think I said something like how it is a hard path but you can succeed if you follow red pill principles (although I didn’t think your odds were that great and I believed you probably *would* be better off starting with a new woman, I didn’t… Read more »
@Mitch Why on Earth would you agree to teach your significant other anything like driving? I don’t see the proposition working in your favor and you could probably find a highly recommended driving school. Plus, you sidestep the conflict this is causing the two of you and reduce the drama in your relationship. If she gets frustrated or sucks at merging she won’t pass the class and it’s on her and she can’t blame it on you. I remember when I tried teaching my s/o a complex athletic activity that I knew very well and almost immediately regretted the decision… Read more »
“I think I said something like how it is a hard path but you can succeed if you follow red pill principles….” “Why on Earth would you agree to teach your significant other anything like driving? I don’t see the proposition working in your favor and you could probably find a highly recommended driving school. Plus, you sidestep the conflict this is causing the two of you and reduce the drama in your relationship. “ There are some efficiencies in Red Pill. There is always the brute force attack of your alleged relationship game problems like your wife not merging… Read more »
LR Received a text last week from one of the girls I settled for the number close on prior to the holidays. Our schedules didn’t align so I cut her loose telling her I’d “see her around”. As we departed I sensed there was more runway available to me but didn’t take the risk. I had never seen her before that night and usually the infrequent female dancer’s appearances coincide with their menstrual cycles based upon my field experience. A month later I get a text from her telling me she’s going dancing if I’m interested. I show up late,… Read more »
@SJF I hear ya! I was the same way and thought I could do everything myself too. That was, until I owned my first home and my LTR at the time started to pile tasks onto the honey do list that were simply insurmountable. I’d find myself stuck on a beautiful Sunday begrudgingly cutting tile, trimming doorways, or some other such task instead of doing what I want. This was pre-RP and I was too stubborn to allow myself to pay someone to free up my own time and avoid the drama it introduced into the relationship. I absolutely loathe… Read more »
Last night I bumped into the other girl I stalemated over text and dropped a neg on her unintentionally. I was headed to the back of the venue to cool off and grab some water and didn’t notice her even though she was right in my path. She opened me and I looked at her and it didn’t immediately click that I knew her for some reason and I told her as much. Me: “Oh, hey! I didn’t even recognize you …” Her: “Why didn’t you recognize me?” I realize the neg in mid-flight don’t respond to her question and… Read more »
Thanks Culum. I remember you and a number of others expressing support. Ima go back and read those threads to see what I’m missing.
P.s. She is NOT reading this blog.
So this scenario is making the rounds. – in a foreign land – got a friend acting as wing – speaking broken foreign language – you and your wing manage to pull two FSU chicks into your orbit – your chick is digging you, you’ve got your hands all over her, and it is mutual – his chick is sorta okay with your buddy – you want to accelerate the pull and take your girl to the dance club – the friend has a full drink, she’s been nursing all night – the friend says let me finish my drink… Read more »
Catchers
“Received a text last week from one of the girls I settled for the number close on prior to the holidays.”
Outstanding work… Insert DiCaprio gif!
Somebody has been paying attention… [cough…Culum?]
And this is how you plow your social circle and become “that guy”… Trusting you brought it all to bed of course.
Nice.
WIA…bring another hottie into your orbit…increase the girls’ social network (so friend has another girl for company) & make the girls compete…then you can leave if you like…always be DHVing and using Preselection and minimizing cockblocking
@WIA
At some point I may mention to my girl on the sly that the drink is mostly backwash by this time.
I would get a round coming for the table and introduce a game of truth or consequences. Where you go around the table asking seriously personal questions that nobody wants to answer, the person can answer or take the consequences ie, a drink. This is great for laughs and emotional spikes. My answers typically resemble balderdash.
“I hear ya! I was the same way and thought I could do everything myself too. “ In a bit of self-awareness about receiving criticism (and watching Mitch squirm from being lectured to) I noticed when it comes to male spaces and Red Pill collaborations, I realize I am able to run towards criticism. Especially if it is of the true Red Pill variety. Notice how Mitch is running away from it. When I was growing up, my father never had to push me. I was self motivated and had lots of same age guy’s and older brothers of them… Read more »
@Catchers: congrats, well done! @Everyone else: not an FR. Sentient’s FRs often tell the tale of a mystical land where hotel bars have hotties. I was staying at an airport hotel (only 3 star though) for one night to catch an early flight the next day. I was really expecting to have bored targets there waiting for their flight. The reception area / food and bar are all the same area basically, and the reception staff are also the bar staff. Check-in. Two of the hired guns are good looking (the other one on the shift is a guy). The… Read more »
One for @WIA here. I remember a while back, you made a post about ‘game’ vs ‘just talking too a girl who you like’. It’s hard to get a proper discussion going about this without any context, but then today, stumbled across an audio infield that might suffice The person who recorded it claims to not believe in game. He claims he pulls girls most nights without ‘game’ but by just being normal/having a normal conversation because he’s says he is a very good looking dude (other members who have met him say he’s male model handsome) This sparked a… Read more »
@Mackay
“But It kind of sounds like most other infields I’ve heard from PUA’s to me (opens, asks questions, teases, makes statements) so i’d say he IS using ‘game’. I mean, how can one NOT use ‘game’? I think you could just as easily accuse MaxRSD of not using game if we can accuse this guy of the same!”
….If only you would believe in yourself.
@mersonia – You’ve lost me, my man! I’m unsure what your reply has to do with the question? It’s not me in that vid if that’s what you meant, lol
@Mkcay – I think it’s maybe that he isn’t consciously using ‘game’ if he’s never read any books about it or whatever, but that he is doing things that fall under the umbrella of it, such as opening, teasing etc. I don’t think anyone would say that what he is doing ‘isn’t’ game(?), but who knows.
@mackay ” so i’d say he IS using ‘game’. I mean, how can one NOT use ‘game’” I’m saying your correct and you know it deep down inside so you shouldn’t have to confirm it here.. Anyways whether its good or bad game its still game …..whether the person doing it is aware of it or not it’s still game. Most naturals will say they’re just talking because they’re not aware of the dynamics of what they’re doing…… you clearly are that’s why you know he’s still using game. If you walk into a car dealership and and see a… Read more »
@mersonia – Oh, now I see what you mean about trusting yourself. You’re right, but I’ve always been someone who likes to get my thoughts confirmed, especially when I feel like i’m in the minority. Like, in the RSD thread which that vid came from, the poster was like ”I got her without using any game!”, and then the replies (from people who supposedly study game!) agreed with him, and were like ”Yeah, even though you didn’t use game bla bla bla” – confused me. Anyway, I’d still like @WIA’s thoughts on my initial post as it seems to relate… Read more »
@mackay
“You’re right, but I’ve always been someone who likes to get my thoughts confirmed, especially when I feel like i’m in the minority.”
Gotta be your own mental point of origin brolo
@Mackay This is some good stuff. Great find actually. He’s definitely using game, but if he’s a good looking guy used to girls seeking his validation then it’s not game in his eyes. Let’s rewind back to the 90’s when Mystery and friends are in Toronto clubs learning what to do pull chicks from clubs. Mystery said that he “backwards engineered “pickup by watching and listening to guys already good with women. Guys that are used to cute girls act like this with cute girls. It’s so cliche that this stuff makes it into movies. The handsome protagonist is antagonizing… Read more »
@Everyone: we discussed good music for the Seduction stage, already in isolation. What about movies, particularly those with “plausible deniability” (the other ones help turn the woman on, but may trigger ASD if too obvious)? Something with a softcore “porn” scene in the middle of the movie maybe?
thanks @WIA Yes, I think it’s an interesting find, too. I noted straight away that she was initiating threads of conversation and more than carrying her end of the conversation from the very beginning. This couldn’t be further from what I experience when I approach! I also gather that she was about the hottest girl in the club from what some of the posters on RSD were saying (although VERY young. Possibly even under age, lol) She was clearly somewhat ‘into him’ from the second he asked for a cigarette. I still wonder what improvements he could have made/things he… Read more »
Improvements Opened Social hook point Sexual hook point Chasing Devalidation He had pushed attraction up to ten,I guess he could get more investment, more compliance.. But getting her logistics is what I would do. She might be all already creaming, but unless he handles her friends, he can’t leave with her. Lot of naturals, pretty boys and newbs would just torture the girl by keeping her in attraction without giving her something. He doesn’t need to validate her, which is what Mystery suggests, he needs to get some privacy so she can prove herself. Without either testing her sense of… Read more »
WIA
“A chick’s desire for pain and discomfort followed by relief and pleasure may be the most interesting thing about the gender. ”
Preach!
Cats are not dogs.
IAS
“Something with a softcore “porn” scene in the middle of the movie maybe?”
Cats are not dogs, remember?
FR Would be interested to understand this dynamic better. Been dating a girl in her late 20’s and things have been going smoothly. She’s the first girl I’ve dated that’s significantly younger than I am but she’s no different than any other girl I’ve met except maybe less jaded. We’re multiple dates in, already had sex back on D3, and I’m not that into her and was considering ending things before the new year. I’ve been patient and had her chasing me the entire time to great affect. I’m always responsive but let her open me first after our interactions… Read more »
@catchers “Her: “What are you up to tonight?”” = Can I come over to your place tonight? A chick (especially in her 20s) wants to fuck her fuckbuddy not “meet him at x at x time if you want to find out” (aka go on a cute little date then fuck…that’s boyfriend/MLTR behavior. aka behavior reserved for girls you really like and it doesn’t sound like you were really that into this chick) “but invites me over to her place “if I want” after I’m done.” = I don’t really feel like going on a date right now I just… Read more »
“On our last date she mentioned that the friend that set us up told her she’d have anxiety and demand to know what was happening on a date before agreeing to go.” If you want to envision every difference of opinion as a “frame battle” that’s on you. I personally find this “games people play” aka “one person is always reacting to another person” as counter-productive. It requires far too much monitoring and score-keeping. But such is the modern guy’s take on game. Usually a girl likes to know what’s going to happen so she can dress accordingly. You gotta… Read more »
@WIA – if you haven’t already you should check out my post about a page or two back about the obscure PUA I discovered on Reddit from 2014 – it’s fascinating stuff – he takes the “the way to get anything done..is through feeling” to a whole new level.
Thanks for the Act Like You Belong subreddit mention – I had no idea it existed but it’s fascinating.
Catchers She then flakes as I’m driving to the restaurant saying she has to pack before a holiday trip but invites me over to her place “if I want” after I’m done. Yeah – not even a shit test. An invite, straight up. Like what do you think was going to happen when you went over there? Pretty direct from a girl’s PoV. If you were a guy who “Just Got It” you’d text back “cool”, go do your thing then roll over there late and bang. Catchers, your next big step up is to just accept that you are… Read more »
Mackay So do you consider this guy to be using ‘game’ based on this audio? What could he have done better and how? Really surprised any of that audio is remotely controversial or even interesting. This is normal chat, banter… Yeah it’s game because it is conscious to the observer… and it is game to the girl because she is reacting to what he is doing. The key thing is he is not in her frame, not supplicating, not trying to build much rapport… he isn’t even being a dick at all. he is just not lockstep giving her what… Read more »
“Act Like You Belong”
Is an old old concept… Half of being there is just Being There. The psychology that surrounds you.
Two examples
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgGvd1UPZ88
Being There
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NftdqRWxuh8
How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying
(both good RP movies)
IAS
Re Movies and cats not being dogs.
Saw this movie with my wife back in 2000 on video…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvI4HvGvHyA
She was totally worked up after… watch it and figure out why.
@Culum
I didn’t see if anyone compiled his stuff yet?
I’m apart of a co-ed sports team that meets once a week to play in a league and last night only three of the four people showed up which left us with two girls and myself. This is a higher caliber league than we’ve all played together in the past and being a person down can be a huge disadvantage. Well, we played out of our minds last night and beat the other team handily. Despite this, during the game one of the girls was frustrated because she felt like she wasn’t getting the ball enough. Guys, especially involved in… Read more »
@Sentient and others that want to chime in on good movies:
softcore scenes (and hardcore ones) also make women horny, not just us…
Happened a couple of times with my wife, it was funny because after we had sex once after a movie with sex scenes she even asked me softly “Please don’t put up movies with scenes like that”. I had to LOL.
IAS It was NOT the softcore… Plot[edit] Amy Benic (Mira Sorvino) takes a vacation at a spa outside New York City. Virgil Adamson (Val Kilmer) is a masseur at the spa and gives Amy a massage. Amy inexplicably cries and Virgil comforts her. While complimenting Virgil on the massage, Amy realizes that Virgil is blind. Virgil asks her out, and the two eventually begin a relationship. Virgil lives alone, though his over-protective sister Jennie (Kelly McGillis) lives next door and takes care of him. Virgil reveals that he went blind when he was three and that the last thing he… Read more »
@IAS
Some recommendations:
Two Moon Junction
Unfaithful
Wild Orchid
IAS Re hotels – welcome to the hard part of Doing the Hard Work ™. Sometimes, you got naught to work with. Happens. Check-in. Two of the hired guns are good looking (the other one on the shift is a guy). The girl that checked-me in was very nice and I think she was interested (although it isn’t easy to tell with hired guns). I didn’t ask her when her shift ended because I think SNL pulling a receptionist in a hotel (where the rest of the staff knows her) is probably tricky, even if her shift ends at the… Read more »
@Sentient: I saw that movie, and yes I could tell in that case it had lots of emotional rollercoaster. The one my wife pleaded me not to put on stuff like that again – after some pretty good desire sex – is also particularly rollercoaster-y, supporting your theory: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rust_and_Bone But to be fair, most good movies – with or without sex scenes – will also have some emotional rollercoaster (although your example is particularly fertile with it). But I’d think if you put on something like Saving Private Ryan (guy movie, not so much girl movie I’d say, plenty of… Read more »
Why not just use Rust and Bone again then?
In any event I’d avoid any movie where the girl is an adulteress and faces any consequences…
Maybe Summer Lovers… Vicki Christina Barcelona… less judgmental vibes.
Just emerged from my post prandial space out.
Lunchtime, my boss asked me did I buy Xmas presents? Me full belly dazed: No. Him: Did the kidsask for anything? Me: IDK. Maybe. Didn’t ask. Him: Does your wife buy any? Me: Probably. Him: How do you stay married? Me: I do other things, through the year.
@j thanks for the insight – eye opening! @WIA Thanks As for the the booty call invite – that might be all that it was. Might be. What’s more likely going on is that the chick feels like she might be falling for you – and your hot and cold act is creating that tension that she loves and hates so much. She can trust you with her body, should she trust you with anything else? In her mind, you’re in boyfriend territory. Could you expand on this a bit more? My approach with this girl has been BB so… Read more »
@IAS
I’ve never used a movie to turn a girl on because I usually escalate to make-out during the first couple of minutes of turning one on. If attraction is there it doesn’t matter in my experience.
IAS
Through the Catonese filter… what do both movies (At First Sight and Rust & Bone) have in common?
Catcher’s
I wasn’t going to let her cancel on me in mid-flight then expect me to show up and have sex with her when it’s convenient for her.
Would you when it’s convenient for you?
Catchers
I definitely saw it as an invite for sex but was looking for a way out – even though I partially misinterpreted this one due to the flake.
Hold on Hoss. You’re saying you saw her line… her first line here
Her: “What are you up to tonight?”
As an invite for sex??? And so you then put up a huge compliance hoop for her to jump through to get it?
I don’t think so.
If you DID think her line was an invite for sex, what would you have replied with?
Her: ‘What are you up to tonight?”
ChadmcBroski: “Balls”
Her: ??
ChadmcBroski:”up to my balls, in you”
@Sentient Would you when it’s convenient for you? Yes, of course! I don’t flake, though. Am I fruitlessly holding a cat to dog standards? Are flakes just price of admission? She definitely went from covert to overt in asking for sex because I missed her first proposition. Hold on Hoss. You’re saying you saw her line… her first line here No, I completely missed the first one – you’re right. I was referencing her flake text where she said I could come over after eating if I wanted. If you DID think her line was an invite for sex, what… Read more »
Catchers,
“If I was still attracted to her”
What did you base your attraction on?
mini fr from last night… last evening my boy went out to dinner with my ex/his mom so I had a couple of hours to kill and was hungry; went to this local bar & grill and it was a light crowd; one 40-ish loudmouth broad was there with her drinking/drunk girl friend and was making the rounds to all the groups in the bar; I had thought that she knew them all but evidently was just be-bopping from one to the other telling her story while the drunk friend was a couple of seats down from me getting hit… Read more »
Catchers Ok help me out on this. Presumably you liked her were attracted enough to invite her out and you would have banged her if she didn’t “flake” right? So now you are mad at her for “flaking” when she didn’t even want to do anything but get on your dick to start with. You set up the hurdles, and wouldn’t even tell her what it was. And she still chased you that night and is now falling all over herself to get your cocka… What’s not attractive about that? If you need validation hoops to feel better about yourself,… Read more »
“hide the pee pee…”
I giggled.
@EhIntellect What did you base your attraction on? Initially physical attraction of course. Aside from that I’m evaluating how pleasant she is to be around, how much confidence she has, is she supportive of my goals, etc. Since I’m seeing more than one girl at a time I’m much more attracted to the other girl that I’ve been with recently and continue to see. Perhaps I’m looking a gift horse in the mouth but I am confident that I can do better. @Sentient Ok help me out on this. Presumably you liked her were attracted enough to invite her out… Read more »
“Aside from that I’m evaluating how pleasant she is to be around, how much confidence she has, is she supportive of my goals, etc. ”
Am I missing something?
No dickhead question inconing: Why you asking these questions of yourself?
Those sound like irrelavant True Romance life partner questionnaire items.
Dr zipper, great FR, good thing the logistics wouldn’t work you can do better. She proly still talks while giving head, her main mumbling talent.
Oops I meant eHarmony life partner questionnaire.
True Romance is where you go for dildoes.
Wait, eHarmony is where you go for dildoes.
FR After consecutive late nights and early mornings I was gassed going into last weekend. I skipped my usual routine but headed out towards the end of the weekend to dance. I walk in and EVERYONE is there including the best friend of the girl (R) from my SNL FR earlier this week. We exchange pleasantries and dance together while catching up a bit. Not 15 minutes later does R show up at the venue, greets me with a big smile, and we start dancing together. Although I wanted to see R again I’m operating in new territory here (SNL/ONS)… Read more »
Catchers Couple more things… Now no doubt she was pinging you for three reasons 1) she is going away and wants a dicking down. Maybe she is going to be with family etc. And not be able to. 2) you will be apart and she wants to leave her mark on you, cat style. She knows things drift over breaks. 3) one AND two. ” just not used to “hey come over and let’s fuck”.” Get used to it. When you are aloof and mysterious and spinninh plates you are in fuckboi territory. Secret Society level in sight if you… Read more »
Catchers
Making out… Did you bang? How did tou leave it?
@Sentient
That was the second time we had sex. Left her place early the next morning with a “See ya soon” after we kissed at her front door.
@EhIntellect
Those are the qualities I’m looking for in a long-term relationship but I understand where you’re coming from. Is it that binary, though?
I realize an LTR is in conflict with what I say I want.
@dr zipper
Your FR was fantastic on multiple levels:
1. You’re getting back out there but are using a new perspective to your advantage
2. Willing to engage with women just for entertainment and not feeling bound for anything further
3. Passing shit tests with aplomb and being conscious of it
Keep going, good luck.
Catchers
OK well that makes a difference
If this is the issue:
In my mind (similar to our other ongoing discussion) I’m still stuck on proposing an activity before sex.
Get over it by just inviting her to come over and hang out… bang her then.
“Hey… not feeling going out. Just come over over tonight” etc. Remember this is your issue. she isn’t saying you need to do something. And it will help push you away from the BB side.
“1) she is going away and wants a dicking down. Maybe she is going to be with family”
lol fuckbuddy texted me yesterday:
“Are you busy tmrw? I wanna see you before I leave”
I’m obviously not gonna tell her what bar I’m gonna be at so we can “see each other” before she leaves lol
Doc Z Good on you for sticking a toe in. Good read of the woman. Here is something to keep in mind for next time… so you aren’t surprised etc. Alllllllllllllll the stuff you did was good and fun and right. But you never “put it out there” and made things sexual and man to woman, with you as a sexual threat. Thing is almost all women will enjoy having fun like this, getting attention, validation, even getting titillated. It is a safe space for them to play. And so then when you take that big step and put it… Read more »
J – lol…. think of how many miles of dick are going down this week!
@WIA – the FeelingsBeforeLogic subreddit has the best compilation of posts. Including some deleted ones that were saved and donated by old readers to the new mods (but still not the crucial How To Read Girls post)
It’s a small subreddit – only about 3 pages of threads. About 4-5 key strategy posts and maybe a few dozen smaller posts in response to FRs etc (the latter are mostly compiled in a single thread)
“Those are the qualities I’m looking for in a long-term relationship but I understand where you’re coming from. Is it that binary, though”
She’ll follow you to Earth’s end and off if you are all in on you.
There’s only so many hours in the day. Don’t waste any wondering if you’re doing the right thing, or if she’s the one.
Just act.
She’ll follow you to Earth’s end and off if you are all in on you.
Yay!
@Sentient
I’ll contribute a mile myself
@zipper
sprinkled in no less than a half dozen times she asks “so where do you live again?”
When a girl talks about logistics…your place…her place…the park…she’s dtf
When a girl mentions BOB, she is looking for a fuck…why did she bring up her marital status again???…paging HABD…so she won’t feel bad about fucking you because she warned you
Catchers
It’s sex first – rewards of your time, intimacy, talents – second. This is the You part in You Are Enough ™.
@zipper
but even when she’s dtf, you have to make it “just happen”…meaning, you don’t ask her to fuck or even mention fucking and you have to give her plausible deniability…an excuse to go to your place or her place