One requirement I have of most of the men (and women) I do consults with is that they read The 48 Laws of Power (The Art of Seduction is in the class syllabus as well). In the introduction author Robert Greene runs down the ethical implications of understanding and employing the various laws. If you look at the synopsis of the laws I linked you can get an idea of how uncomfortable some of these laws will naturally make people feel. Many of these laws understandably rub the uneducated the wrong way because for the better part of our lives we’ve been taught to emulate socially acceptable mannerisms and adopt a mindset of cooperation above self interest.
Most people are conditioned to think that deliberate use of power is inherently manipulative, self-serving and sometimes evil. In context this may or may not be true, but in so demonizing even the desire to understand power, not only do we inhibit a better critical understanding of power, but we also make the uneducated more vulnerable to the use of power against them. The 49th Law being: Never educate others of the principles of power, which is itself a form of using power. Never talk about Fight Club.
I bring this up because, just as with the Laws of Power, there will be articles of Game, or foundations of intergender communication – complete with all of the underlying motivators – that Men (and women) will be uncomfortable accepting or employing to the point that it challenges some deep rooted emotional or ego investments. Let me be the first to establish that discomfort is part of understanding; truth is supposed to make you uncomfortable in order to inspire you to action.
I should also add here that even though you may not be comfortable in exercising a particular tactic or don’t feel confident in approaching an interpersonal situation in some way, it is still vital that you do understand the concepts and methodologies behind why those laws, principles, techniques, attitudes, etc. do work. You may have personal reasons for not wanting to involve yourself in some particular aspect of Game, but it’s imperative that you fully acknowledge the mechanics behind that aspect before you decide it’s not something you can employ. Declining to use a particular Law or aspect of Game doesn’t make you immune to the consequences of it, nor does it invalidate that aspect when others use it for their own benefit, and potentially to your own detriment.
Half the Battle
The primary (though not exclusive) focus of this blog has been devoted to the critical analysis of the mechanics behind intergender dynamics, Game-practice, Game-theory, social and evolutionary psychology just to name a few. I can understand the want for practical applications of this field of study, and while in my line of work I have done my own ‘field testing’ with the majority of what I explore here, I have neither the time, opportunity or resources to develop practices beyond what I offer here. At least not to the degree of which the majority of my readers are able – and that’s the good news.
“This is brilliant stuff Rollo, but how do I use this to make my life better with the next girl I sarge, etc.?” This is a common desire from my readership, and the best I can offer is Knowing is Half the Battle. One size doesn’t fit all for everyone in Game or intergender relations. Anyone hawking a book giving you an instruction manual on how to have a great marriage or how to pick up chicks is still limited by their own individual experience. In other words, they’re not you.
It’s for exactly this reason I spend more time and critical thought on the foundations and functions of gender dynamism than pick up artistry. When I get associated with the “manipulative machiavellian Game gurus” it only serves to highlight an ignorance and lack of any depth of understanding what I focus on here. Game is psychology, sociology, economics, biomechanics, evolution and politics. Game is far broader than simple tricks and techniques. And it’s exactly the latent purpose of these applications (PUArtistry) and the mechanics behind their workings that threatens the ego-investments of those who’s feminized interests would rather see them marginalized and passed off as folly, or usefully ridiculed to shame the curious for fear that the underpinnings might be exposed.
Head in the Sand
Sweetening the poison doesn’t make it any less deadly.
I can remember a time in my mid-20s working as a stage tech for a casino cabaret show. The magic act I set up and struck every night involved a Bengal tiger and a black panther. Both of them were professionally handled by trainers, but even though they seemed the most docile of animals I knew they had the potential to seriously fuck me up under the wrong set of circumstances. The trainers would keep them at distance from the rest of the cast and crew, only myself and one other tech were able to get close since we were the ones wheeling them out in special cages at their particular point in the show. One trainer told me, “the moment you think of them as pets is the moment they’ll go feral on you.” They would play with these wild animals, and they seemed to have a special connection (almost like a pet), but when you watched them eat, you knew what they were capable of.
I learned a valuable lesson from this when one night I was wheeling the panther out to the curtain. She was in what was basically a reinforced acrylic aquarium on casters with a velvet cloth draped over it. A few minutes before my cue I’d thought the drape was falling to one side and lifted it to even it out. It was then that I was face to face with this “pet” in nothing but faint stage lights and about 4 inches of transparent acrylic between us. She looked at me with those yellow-green eyes and gave me a very low, almost muted growl and flashed just enough of her teeth to let me know this was not a “pet”.
It’s a mistake (and sometimes a fatal one) to ignore what you know is just under the surface. It’s comforting to believe that you’ve got a special connection, and while the conditions are right, you’ll preserve a relationship based on mutual trust and shared affinity. The flaw is in believing that trust, and kinship is unconditional; that the underlying feral motivators are subdued to the point of being inconsequential. It may be that you do have a special bond that goes beyond just the physical, but that relationship is still founded on physical rules that constantly test and influence that individual.
You know better, but the desire for that connection is so strong that you marginalize the natural impulses into feel-good rationalizations. Every divorced man I know has uttered some variation of “I never thought she was capable of this.” In their comfort they wondered how they dropped the ball, especially after having played by the rules for so long. Some knew about Hypergamy, others made it their “pet”, only their beautiful panther went feral.
Play My Game
It is a far healthier approach to accept the laws of power, the laws of Game, Hypergamy, etc. and fashion a life around an understanding of them than to convince oneself that they are an exception to them.
There are those who seek power by changing the game – by lowering the basketball hoops in order to better shoot a basket – but in ‘leveling the playing field’ they only succeed in changing the nature of the competition to better suit their individual abilities, neither improving the game nor themselves. The temporary change of rules only serves their inadequacies in that game.
Then there are those who accept the game for what it is, they understand it and they master it (or at least attempt to do so). They understand the need for adversity and the benefits it gives them when they reach the next level of mastering the game – not only in technique, but from the confidence this genuinely and verifiably confers.
Don’t wish things were easier, wish you were better.
It’s the aberration who seeks to legitimize her cheating at the game as the new way the game should be played. Shoot the arrow, paint the target around it, and you’ll always get a bullseye.
On lowering the basketball hoops by acquiring power: whenever I’ve tried to master something, I’ve always found that it’s much better to start at a lower difficulty level, master it, then move up to the harder levels.
For some guys, their power is so lacking that there is no easy level for them. There’s only “hard-mode.” This leads to frustration and, whether hardcore, kamikaze sargers want to admit it or not, mental fatigue.
So leveling the playing field a bit by acquiring power and establishing that “easy mode” can help a lot of guys master game.
The WNBA has been debating the idea of lowering the hoop height since its inception. Basketball below the rim is boring, but doing so fundamentally changes the game.
“It may be that you do have a special bond that goes beyond just the physical, but that relationship is still founded on physical rules that constantly test and influence that individual.” +1 By the way I noticed the comparison of women and pets, and the women getting offended while (of course) missing the point. What makes a woman an exotic beast is not that she’s a woman, but that most seem unable to self reflect, understand and adapt their own behavior, but rather force others, men, to work around them. And this is specially noticeable when dialog and direct… Read more »
“I think of a man and I take away all reason and accountability.” Truth in there somewhere.
I’m glad i found the manosphere a few months ago.Having field tested/observed these laws in action kinda made me depressed.I’m 23 so guess this pulled me out of a One-itis and forewarned me before any real investment (e.g. marriage,Serious LTR ) on my part.
“Don’t wish things were easier, wish you were better”
I say that to myself everyday.
Lurking for a while. This has been very theraputic for me. Separated from spouse for a while and reading your blog(along with those books and therapy) has helped me tremendously in understanding the dynamics of male/female interaction. Thanks.
Let me suggest another book for you. Download or buy “Why Men Are the Way They Are.” by Dr. Warren Farrell. It’s a bit dated now (written in the mid 80s) but for me it was the germ that led to my unplugging. Farrell is the Godfather of the manosphere IMO.
Wax on, wax off. People are lazy, risk averse and allergic to pain. They want quick solutions. It is difficult to teach them theory because they don’t want to learn what makes things tick. They want a Magic Pill that will solve their problem. It’s the same way with money. People want to be wealthy but they aren’t willing to learn how to unprogram their mind. They want a step by step manual that is tailored specifically for them with pictures, illustrations, diagrams and videos with nothing that requires thought. Theory is too complicated and it challenges everything they think… Read more »
Another very artfully written post; I enjoyed the parable of the panther in a box very much, and I think the message comes across more efficiently than a more direct explanation. Regarding Bob Green’s work, I had a visceral reaction to reading the 48 Laws, and to a lesser extent, Art of Seduction. The reaction was one of instant fascination, as well as one of moral recoil, which I believe is more a product of social conditioning than anything else. It was so strong at first, in the old Blue Pill days, that I was ashamed to even have these… Read more »
It’s a true story BTW.
@Stingray when she arrives, OT, but here are some reading selections that may interest you, all written by some horribly misogynistic, rational male:
Oh, and lets not forget this gem:
He’ll of course require proper referencing, citation and author’s credit for any material lifted..eh,..quoted,..
I missed something. First, thanks. Second, how are these relevant to me and third, did I do something wrong? Did I not give you credit for something?
If you are referring to the conversation with Yohami a couple of weeks ago, I didn’t lift anything and was shocked to see that you had written much of the same in previous posts that I had actually never read. Obviously, I can’t prove that, but if I offended you then you have my apologies. If you are referring to something else . . . I am clueless.
Not about you. I thought you were more involved in a comment thread on another blog.
Understood. For the record, I find you a rational male and do not believe the other adjective applies. Just my opinion though. 😉
Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment.
Thank you. It really makes my day to see that someone has powerfully thought this through and taken the trouble to share it so eloquently with others.
“It is a far healthier approach to accept the laws of power, the laws of Game, Hypergamy, etc. and fashion a life around an understanding of them than to convince oneself that they are an exception to them.”
The mantra all men should have. Realize its all about power, than believe you are the snowflake that is somehow going to show it different.
Robert Greene’s compilations are inane. But I guess they’re better than nothing. Go straight to the philosophers of power (Sun Tzu, Machiavelli, Hobbes, Nietzsche) if you can, and do an end-around Greene’s cutesy pagination and mutilated paraphrasing and abridgment. (First hint, the blurb on the back of the book is crammed into a vagina shape.) (R)Evoluzione should have been “ashamed to even have these books displayed on [his] bookshelf,” not because of their “visceral” moral content but because they are bland and over-processed Velveeta, the mark of a self-made gourmand/oblivious dilettante who never tasted real Parmigiano Reggiano. Warren Farrell is… Read more »
Rollo another fantastic post. Greene’s books are necessary to understand the larger concepts of game (and the world, really). May I also suggest a few that most if not all Blue Pill Nice Guys (BPNG) need to read. It makes unplugging that much easier: 1) Too Nice for Your Own Good by Duke Robinson 2) No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover 3) Feeling Good by David Burns Other than Ferdinand at Mala Fide doing his write up on Glovers book, the manosphere is quick to point out other “game” classics and rightfully so. Yet for someone to really… Read more »
For the guys who dig old school poetic writing, I recommend The Book of Pook. That was the one that unplugged me.
What other books are in your recommended reading list?
[…] rules of power Rollo mentioned in his post The Pet are fascinating – one of the things I’m going to be plugging away at is thoughts on […]
I’ve found that when it comes to books like Geene’s or even the older ones like Sun Tzu’s Art of War, many of the “rules” on reflection you have seen numerous examples of in real-life, and never really looked at things that way before. This is why I recommend these types of books, and others – all knowledge is power, or it can be used to that end. I can say that one of the most useful books I ever picked up dealt with training your dog, and applying those techniques to the women in my life. Eventually, these things… Read more »
People don’t use the knowledge as they don’t want to internalize a managerial role in relationships. They prefer to deal with peers and equals.
[…] “It is a far healthier approach to accept the laws of power, the laws of Game, Hypergamy, etc…. -Rollo Tomassi, The Pet […]
[…] lines up really well with when I mentioned I needed to look into the 48 laws of power that Rollo had a post discussing. I just finished reading Roosh’s Bang and Day Bang, so I haven’t gotten to read the […]
[…] got pregnant at 18 and married at 19. After about 20 years of marriage and 2 children she went feral. Hypergamy prompted her to divorce the husband who’d ‘done the right thing’ at 20 […]
[…] – The Pet […]
[…] line of reasoning. Young men need to be aware of the ruthlessness and callousness of this feral, evolutionary process. As a Man, you do in fact need to keep pace with the hypergamic imperative that WILL rear its ugly […]
[…] The Pet […]
[…] but it wasn’t what Kim had built up to making. Blood was in the water, and Kim went feral. Eventually she took the kids and left Rob to his own means, while she moved half a state away to […]
[…] to the same predispositions. Her sister, a God-fearing evangelical ‘good girl’, had gone feral on the husband who’d done the right thing after knocking her up at 17 and married her and set […]
Been reading this blog and the accompanying book for the past couple of weeks and I must say it has changed my life. I’ve examined and reexamined every relationship with the opposite sex in light of this new information and every last one makes so much more sense.
Reading this particular post reminded me of the rottweiler… majestic dogs but fierce and extremely dangerous unless properly trained.
Then I watched opening the 45 seconds of this youtube video of the Dogs 101 show about the animal and it perfectly illustrated how I will think of females from now on…
Kate Middleton Reportedly Felt Meghan Markle “Used Her to Climb the Royal Ladder” and Told Her So at Christmas:
Where is the art syllabus ? . This is kind a motivational post, but a cold one too.