Field Reports

lion-chasing-gazelle

For the past three years of The Rational Male there’s been a consistent presence in the comment threads of guys seeking advice for particular situations with regards to Game. Whether it’s fine tuning certain aspects of Game or a larger consensus of the guys participating in my comment threads it’s become obvious there’s a need for a dedicated page and comment thread to address these Field Reports.

So I’m instituting this page for exactly this. If there is some urgency to have members of The Rational Male community analyze your particular situation feel free to hit anyone up in the comments of my current post, but please refer them to your particular field report with a link to your comment here. I’m hoping this will alleviate the mass of posts for field report analysis and Game specific insights piled into the main blog post for any given week.

There will be some rules for this “forum” as such. I ask that you only keep your comments to addressing the field reports at hand and save your larger theoretical stuff for the main posts, or if relevant, keep the “bigger scope of things” posts to being as succinct as possible. There will be no moderation in this comment thread (spamming excepted), so realize it will be a very hot kitchen before you post. I will impose no restrictions on video links here, nor will I limit links to various, but pertinent articles.

Understand, this is an experiment for now. It’s likely this comment thread will exceed thousands of comments. I’ll be instituting new comment plug-ins for wordpress to deal with this in the future, but I may archive this page the the posts and refresh this page in the future as well. If this gets cumbersome I may simply institute a dedicated forum-style sub-site of The Rational Male to accommodate for Game specific questions.

So have at it, post your field reports and feel free to comment on the ones you have some particular insight for. Be forewarned that it’s likely things may get a bit salty at times and I expect a lot of back & forth with debate and disagreements, but that’s what this thread is for – to hash out Game particulars for your given situations.

 

6,441 comments

  1. Come on now Culum…! Loosen up broski… Do a few stop and “well” hand gestures (arms open palms up) until she says something… Go do some bouncer game… Will make you confident. Amazing to watch people fall right in line. Fascinating shit… You can really fuck with people.

    I do all this solo i know you can…

    1. Tune your brain… Play the state music loop.
    2. R E L A X into it.
    3. Repeat… The night is young and it only takes one.
    4. You never know…
    5. Laugh at a blow out…. Fuck you cunt I play hockey style.
    6. Crack on.

    You got this.

  2. @Sentient

    ok… got a little bit of time…

    duuuuude… are ya ready?…lol

    here it comes…!!!

    LOOKS DON”T MATTER!!!…lol…

    oh… and i told you this was gonna happen…lol… (and no i’m actually not kidding…)

    now that that is out of the way, let’s get to it…shall we?…

    i’m tooo lazy to look it up, but maybe IRL can find it… he seems to have some pretty good search skillzzzz…lol

    remember chinese girl… she was SOOOOO HOTTTTTT!!!!!!… and why did you fail with her? bc “LOOKS MATTER”… the FI social conditioning that informs “looks matter” ALSO told you that she was ‘out of your league’… at least ‘enough’… (in her frame…)

    remember that EE model girl that you thought was a pro?… and that those thoughts left you in her frame juuuust enough to cancel out your margin of error?… and that THAT was the same thing that happened with chinese girl?…

    The idea (which i covered in that other thread pretty well…) is that to the extent that you let ‘looks matter’ to you, you will have juuuust that much of your MPoO in her frame… which reduces your margin of error… rinse and repeat for every situ with a turbo hottie…lol

    and just to make sure the concept is clear… this is MALE looks ‘mattering’ that we are talking about… (the general concept is similar to coasting… ie, NOT running solid game… BC you have that FI approved ‘edge’…)… but what the FI giveth, the FI can taketh away…lol

    let’s do an old-style FR review… for old time’s sake…lol


    Newly culum in particular take note. And HABD question on the FI at the bottom.

    So out in one of my fav cities, hit a few happy hour places a little late. Not much going on. So decide to get dinner at this place I really love. At this point I’ve openwd maybe two women…

    only 2?… stuck in our head are we?…lol

    Just casual stuff. As I eat I ponder the night ahead and game thoughts intrude where to go what to say blah blah…

    I finish up and ground myself.. R E L A X as Aaron Rodgers says. The night is young and it only takes one. My mantra. You have no idea what is in store so don’t stress… Experience has proven if you relax into it and act something usually happens…

    So it’s late twilight now little before 8. Great time to do street game. It’s night game disguised as daygame. Single sets… Girls are heading from someplace to someplace, usually back to a shit apartment and a cat. Momentum is your friend and it is easy to bounce for a drink as night descends.

    So i do my Bruce Willis in Unbreakable stroll… Just slowly stride through the crowd and let let them wash over me. Keeping open to sensations. I am walking on what the Brits would call the High Street, striding half the speed of the crowd. Upright chest out sloooow. Probably looks ridiculous lol. But I find this creates a little wave around you… Some peacocking as shoals of people open up before you.

    this is actually really great!… it’s fun as hell!…ask me how i know…lol… and the sea of humanity parts for THE alpha stud… absolutely crushing DHV…

    (the only thing better would be doing it while wearing a black leather coat while out killing vampires… like Blaximus does on the weekends…lol)

    I give a few smiles as girls walk by me. A head nod… Just keep strolling. About 10 minutes into this a vision appears 20 feet ahead and approach.

    uh, oh! NLP social conditioning WARNING!!!! FI proximity ALERT!!! whoop! whoop!!!!…lol

    Solid 8 blonde, fantastic knee length belted and sleeveless dress, flowing to knee. Nice pearl bracelet… All of it expensive snd super tasteful. Body like a Channel mannequin. Perfect make up. Just fucking elegant and sexy.

    OK.

    more importantly… was she SOOOOO HOOOOOTTT!!!!???…lol… this girl already seems like YOU are thinking she is out of your league…

    She is getting closer. I laser her. She is staring back. I nod. She gives a quick quarter smile as she is about to walk on past – check that – fucking glide sexily past. [was your tongue on the ground too?… like Roger Rabbit?…lol… seriously, did you even try to do the ‘find 3 things you would change to make her more perfect’ thought process?…] I stop open my arms out and give her the And? Look. She walks by a few feet turning to look at me and laughs. I walk ahead five feet and back up to a shop window and motion her to come over.

    didn’t have enough outcome independence to wait her out, eh?…lol… this is likely where you reduced your margin of error ‘enough’… bc this is where the frame was set… in HER frame… with you chasing… note – you could have turned it around at plenty of different spots… but this set the overall interaction pattern… yes, your mother/father were right… first impressions DO count…lol… even for girl’s hindbrains…

    She laughs and comes over. I lean back on the window and say ” sooo. What are you doing?” She laughs like I am an idiot and says “I’m walking!” In an EE accent. Ah of course. I love when you just jam girls and they just blurt out exactly what they are thinking. Lol.

    the open is a question = beta (usually)… but just opening her like that is DHV as f*k…, so it doesn’t matter…

    She asks what I am doing. I say “Well I just had a fantastic dinner and I am looking to buy a pair of pants… Maybe you can help me. You look like you have a leeeeeetle bit of style about you. She laughs and says “just a little huh” I say “yeah. But I can work with it I guess”. She is lolling. This becomes a call back thing.

    this was a logical answer, but the teasing would have cancelled it out… IF the underlying subcomms were that you hadn’t already put her on that pedestal…lol… by recognizing that she ‘had style’… AND that that was something you valued… dog language/cat-o-nese translator broke down here…lol… bc you were thinking that bc it was something that YOU wanted (stylish pants) that that was the important element, but it’s not… girls are solipsistic…lol… and you were putting a huge amount of value on her… IF you were going to have her pick out your clothes for you…lol…

    So now she shifts gears and says she is walking so I can walk with her if I want to talk. Not the time for a frame battle…

    can you think of a better time?… oh, YEA… back at the stop…lol… but failing that… sooner is better… bc at some point it becomes too late…

    So we stroll off together in the direction she is headed.

    this is one more step down the ‘follow her/chasing her’ path…

    Chat about the pants, [increasing her value to you… bc of her style…] her accent, I guess Bulgarian but she says Russian. I say Russian too obvious and boring. She laughs… We pass an architecturally interesting plaza so I say lets go this way… Some leading. [good… it’s never too early to lead…] Little NPL stuff how beautiful these buildings are. We stop and look around. Some more logistics chit chat. She lives a mile a way. She asks where I am staying I give her the hotel name (mistake!)

    true… but do you see why?… and no, it’s not bc she now knows where you are staying…

    she gave you a compliance test (asked a direct question) and you answered it directly…

    Which is a couple blocks away. We continue to walk a bit… Close side by side so our arms are bumping.

    i’m going to assume that you didn’t make her take your arm when you started walking at the begining… bc THAT would have been a small compliance test to start the frame battle shifting toward you…

    It’s hot out though so I lead her to some benches to sit down. She says well if you are hot we should go inside and have a drink.

    did you sexualize at all?… (misconstrue her saying that you are ‘hot’…) “Well, thank you! i think you’re hot too…” (said like it’s an obligation to return the complement… not like you really think she is SOOOOO HOOOOT!!!…lol)

    She points to the tall building ahead and says there is a top floor bar. OK then… Buuuuut my Prodar is now pinging 10/10… This easy?

    IF… you are alpha stud… it IS that easy…lol…

    but this whole ‘prodar’ thing is that ‘looks matter’ FI social conditioning in play… bc WHY would a turbo hottie be ACTUALLY interested in an old guy like you?… in spite of those ‘older man/young turbo hottie photos’ that you post… bc she is SOOOO HOOOOT!!!!…

    why would you assume that a pro WOULDN’T want to bang you on her free time?… or even go off the clock for you?… serious question… bc (((I))) would… and i’m just a recovering omega sperg…lol… (and i’m pretty sure that Blaximus or SFC Ton would expect the same…lol)

    bc AWALT… girls are just girls…

    oh, yea… i remember now… the (((FI)))…lol…

    So i say “No surprises though” and she is what do you mean? I smile and say “we’ll see”… But grab the lead. I say no to that place but I know a cool hidden spot nearby, a dark quiet lounge with good drinks and no attitude. And hidden. She lives here and has no idea.

    DHV… and then… you kill it… and not in a good way…lol…

    On the way we talk restaurants and I rattle off a dozen places.

    i can smell the validation seeking from this side of the monitor…lol…

    She is impressed with my local knowledge.

    beta bait…

    I say well I’ve been coming here for 20 years…

    aaaand, you take the bait…lol..

    (note – for the lurker/newbies/men playing along at home – there are two frame choices here that Sentient has (positive Sentient/negative girl) – if Sentient pushes the ‘i’m great bc i have all this local knowledge’ idea, normally that would be a DHV… buuut, he is doing it to impress HER… bc his response is in reply to her ‘being impressed’… the other frame choice is to push the idea that she is a failure for not knowing all that stuff…lol…

    “you’re impressed with THAT?…lol… i thought you lived here?… oh, you do? huh… wow, you’re easy…” [with some laser…until she blushes…lol]… “i’m just a tourist and even ((I)) know that stuff… here, let me introduce you to YOUR city…”

    So i lead her to this place down a dark alley to a bare metal door with a rough dude standing outside. She gives a me “this real?” Look. I say “come on” give the doorman a What’s up man. He cards her. I say come on man she is 40… Just has good plastic surgery… She lols. This becomes another thing. Take her hand lead her in down a dark hall then turn and boom you are in this cool lounge. She is like wow this is neat… Stride in leading her by the hand like a boss. The bar is full so i get us a booth in the corner.

    this is great…

    Perfect. Side by side. Kino tests… She is ok. I keep taking her hand then tossing it off… Back of my mind I’m still thinking OK so what is the deal here…

    that’s bc you are in her frame… sooo, she’s not all in…

    So we have a drink and an app and banter…

    did you make her pay?… or split the bill?…

    I’m teasing her a lot but playfull.

    i’m betting, but not sexual… which is that whole FI ‘looks matter’ shit coming back to bite you…

    My drink has a huge flower on it i say ” man if I wasn’t so gay this would be a problem” she is lolling. We talk about her travels etc. I ask what she does and she says “not much”

    ya know, just for fun… you could actually switch the ‘boy/girl roles around here and analysis the ‘game’ interaction…lol… i’m surprized she didn’t say ‘bean farmer’…lol…

    so I say she is a streetwalker and this becomes a thing. Lot of playful stuff, [any of it sexual?…] some of the time my arm is around her as we talk and laser, some of the time I am pushing her away and making fun of her.

    When we are lasering from 5 inches i go to kiss her and she gives me an elegant cheek and I stop amd pull back. Roll off and tease her “oh I see. Cheeky McCheekster huh”

    see my comment to newlyaloof… ANY comment = overt = beta/reacting to her… you need to handle escalation on subcomm channels…

    and she laughs and says – check that – drips sexily in the accent “you are not goink to ruin my male up”…

    she’d let SFC Ton ruin her make up…lol

    Ok we will see… But now Prodar is confused…

    no, but THAT’s what it looks like from the inside seat on the beta bucks express…lol…

    Damn did I misjudge again. [no… it’s the FI pushing on you…] I have another drink she doesn’t. She asks about my kids and we talk about that.

    [i would put a face palm here, but i’m tooo lazy…lol]

    She just barely mentions wife and I just barely acknowledge same.

    you mean like newlyaloof did on his FR?…

    Totally not a thing for her… [why would it be?… serious question…] Anyhow time to bounce. So we roll out, her on my arm. Walking back TOWARDS my hotel…

    if you were walking away from her place, then you could have still pulled her… which is likely, bc she is STILL throwing shit tests at you (her hindbrain is still trying to figure out where you fit into her sexual repro strategy overall)…

    She says “You are man you should be on street side to protect me” i joke with her and say she is my shield i am too pretty… But I do switch at the corner and she likes that. Euro girls…

    bc now she has NO doubt…

    So I never mention where we are headed and we turn the corner and there is my hotel and she smiles and says “oh look your hotel” as we are out front… Shit. She remembered the name. I say “yeah but it is too early, lets go next door for another drink” she says she is going to head home. It’s 10 now. She says “we have tomorrow, you will be here”.

    the unspoken thought there is ‘if i need you to buy me dinner…’…lol…

    So we are embracing. Her fucking body is super super tight, waist must be 20 inches.

    was she SOOOO HOOOOT!!!!! ?…lol… (note the 4!!!!…)

    Stomach to stomach. I go to kiss her again she tries the cheek. I pull back and laser shake my head no. She comes in for a kiss but not a full make out. Some light kissing. Then she says “here take my number, we can get together tomorrow” punch it in and she is like “call it to male sure” and I do… It vibrates and she is smiling “i like it when it vibrates”…

    Pavlovian validation…lol… but actually that’s just more beta bait… which i’m guessing was a recursing theme in your ‘date’…

    Hug and ass caress goodbye… She slinks off…

    I scratch my head… Prodar busted? Long con… BB? Huh… We will see.

    At one point we did the guess the age thing and she says “guess but be nice… A little compliment”…

    did you spot this as a compliance test in situ?… i’m guessing not…

    I stroker her bare upper chest and tell her if she is old this is where the wrinkles are… Guess 24. She is like Yes!… Perfect! I looked her up she is 28… Turns out she is an investor, has family money I guess… And was a dancer and a yoga instructor…

    sounds like you two had a great time validating each other…lol… but that’s no way to get your dick wet…lol…

    you seem to be pretty good at this validation stuff… i’m looking for instructors for my new product… i just got it ramping up… it’s described in this comment… you might be a natural…lol

    https://therationalmale.com/2016/06/22/the-princess-experience/comment-page-3/#comment-161364

    i had a falling out with one of my instructors… dude went all “postive mindsety” on me… just bc RSD had an opening… for some reason…

    lol…

    Now what was interesting is that she was undeniably super hot, and smart, sophisticated, a lady and also a child.

    but mostly she was SOOOO HOOOT!!!!… right?…lol…

    And I found myself really drawn into this vortex of positive feminine energy… Just enjoying having a smoking hot accomplice.

    could you even feel the FI’s hand on your shoulder?… serious question…

    Now I did want to bang but it was a second order item… I’ve been with 6s who were fucking making me hard just being close to them… Raw sex appeal…

    Here it was more like a perfect possession. A different feeling. And it wasnt that i didn’t feel entitled…

    you didn’t feel entitled to ‘desire sex’… but you did feel entitled to BB sex…

    It was more like I felt well of course now here is my hot Russian girlfriend… Like we were dating. Fucking rom comming… Seriously i could see myself having a nice lobster salad and sancerre lunch… Do a little shopping and THEN go back to bang… Just enjoying her company.

    bc why wouldn’t you have to ‘earn her’?…lol…

    Wild…

    the FI is cunning and pervasive…

    So HABD is the FI so devious that it draws out our nurturing protecting possesing side despite our best efforts?

    no… it slides a wedge in with a ‘looks matter’ value set… and then uses that idea/value set to leverage FI values into your interactions… in this case, BB provisioning/dating relationship as a ‘requirement for sexual access’ to the turbo hotties (above some HB/sophistication rank…)… bc you know… NAWALT…lol…

    Strange but fun few hours… We will see if we meet up tonight.

    lol…

    but here’s a serious question… was she a bad girl?… or was she a good girl?…

    good luck!

  3. Yay HABD is back.

    Thanks for your input and breakdown. Stick around because when I can cut and paste tomorrow there are a bunch of points I want to turn over. For lurkers, not in a defensive manner at all, but to draw out more understanding, particularly in a few places where what I (and others) did worked, and fill in a few glossed over deets on the FR, for clarification and confirmation.

    And yes it felt exactly like chinese model which was almost to the day 2 years ago…

    Overall the outcome is undeniable… Not enough alpha and sexualization… No signing on the line that is dotted… No Glengarry leads for me. 😢

    I’m still – struggling is too strong a word – intellectually curious in a detached way is more appropriate, looking to peel back on the Why? around the pleasurable feelings and reserved sexual urgency. Still difficult to explain.

    I would say the the line of thinking that I don’t feel entitled because of their looks and have to earn it isn’t it though. If anything I feel so entitled that sex is secondary, like of course we will have sex. And of course she will be with me because I am super awesome. I lose way more lays being lazy and not running proper game due to my arrogance, for example. I’m open to the idea this is perhaps super suppressed and therefor cognitively unrecognizable, but dubious indeed. Which of course defines a blind spot lol. We will see. Contemplate this on the Tree of Woe…

    The Prodar thing. I am just going to have to bite the bullet and turn it off. Too many mixed signals. But seriously, I cant be the only guy that constantly runs across pros and the detestible semi pros? Guys chime in? Rollo you must see this endlessly in Vegas… The reservation, the holding back waiting for a pitch, it hurts though. I don’t want to waste time and get the surprise cause my field time is limited. But I’ll have to fully commit. Here it really screwed up some of the early interaction and there was an impact at the end where more of my mind was taken up with “what kind of game is she running?”… Part of that is professional life cynicism and paranoia creeping in. But off it is so be it.

    Your cliff hanger had me lolling…

    “but here’s a serious question… was she a bad girl?… or was she a good girl?…”

    This is super juicy… Because I simultaneously don’t at all believe in Madonna Whore, having enough AWALT experiences, and yet I enjoy the idea at the same time… Both the duality of the Lady on the street Freak in the sheets aspect with an individual girl as well as with respect to seperate relationships – Wife/Mother and side pieces… I Love You To Death style “you can’t cook for me, thatsa for my wifa”…

    Will be fun cracking into this more.

    Thanks

  4. “didn’t have enough outcome independence to wait her out, eh?…lol… this is likely where you reduced your margin of error ‘enough’… bc this is where the frame was set… in HER frame… with you chasing… ”

    She was going North and I South… I walked 5 feet further South and locked in.

  5. “why would you assume that a pro WOULDN’T want to bang you on her free time?… or even go off the clock for you?… serious question… bc (((I))) would…”

    Interesting I have no answer… Hmmm. Dog logic loop running… Pro /pay…

  6. @HABD with a masterful breakdown. Impressive!

    What is even more impressive is the girl (and others) are doing that breakdown in real time, automatically, without even thinking about it…

  7. @HABD

    but here’s a serious question… was she a bad girl?… or was she a good girl?…

    She was…a girl

    Here’s a FR from yesterday with a “good girl,” lol.

    Mrs. Gamer was virgin when we married and had only had one bf previously and had only kissed him sweetly on the lips…she didn’t know how to French when we met.

    I was lying on the sofa resting after lifting a set…Mrs. Gamer walks over and flashes her boobs at me…twice…I lift some more…Mrs. Gamer walks over and sticks a nipple in my mouth…I give it a little attention, but not much…I lift some more…doing lats with free weights lying on the floor…Mrs. Gamer messes with my junk, trying to get my attention and distract me from lifting…I ignore her…this goes on for a couple of minutes

    good girls are just…girls

    Here’s another FR from last Fri. night with hot girls

    My group had been out hiking last night and it was dark when we got to a patio where there was a fire pit and chairs. Two hotties were sitting at the far end of the patio and the girl who organized the hiking event chatted with them, so I assumed that they were part of our group who missed the start of the hike. I was curious about them and wanted to introduce myself, so I approached. I stood between them, leaning on a chair over them. The girls were looking up at me and got lit up and chatted with me for a few minutes. Turns out they were park volunteers and they were taking care of the fire pit.

    You’d think that an old guy like me wouldn’t be able to get hot girls lit up just by approaching them, but…

    1. I was part of a group…social proof

    2. I approached the girls…it was like daygame where merely approaching girls is a massive DHV

    3. I was leaning over the girls and they were looking up at me…I showed dominant body language

    3. the girls were volunteers and were there to service the paying customers

    But the hot girls were lit up because

    hot girls are just…girls

  8. I need suggestions

    always seem to get to a part of the conversation in which things like having a son leads to questions about marital status and basically infer ‘why is a guy that supposedly has his shit together out her in this bar trying to pick up chicks like these other losers?’ the oblique questions are easier to deal with, the direct ones pin me back and I don’t really know how to ‘pass the test’

    I do feel self-conscious in that yeah, if I was so badass why am I not out there doing badass things and having women line up instead of me going out to peacock and preen to get a girl’s attention?

    if preselection can work for you, then the fact that a woman has left you would seem to work against you; they’ve gotta be thinking that well, if this guy is so great, why would she have left?

    I know it’s in my head and sprouting from my own insecurities….. some ingrained FI tentacle is blinding me, please help me remove it

  9. @zipper

    always seem to get to a part of the conversation in which things like having a son leads to questions about marital status and basically infer ‘why is a guy that supposedly has his shit together out her in this bar trying to pick up chicks like these other losers?’ the oblique questions are easier to deal with, the direct ones pin me back and I don’t really know how to ‘pass the test’

    First, you are still being puppeteered by the FI…why shouldn’t guys be picking up chicks in bars…what’s wrong with that?…girls are looking for Mr. Goodbar themselves, of course…you’re a man, you want pussy, very simple…that red pill is hard to swallow, lol

    now to direct questions…several possibilities…

    agree and amplify…”yeah, My wife left me, I’m just living in my parents basement jacking off to porn, lol”…clearly, you’re out having a good time and your wife leaving you is NO BIG DEAL and you are looking for girls…that’s the nonverbal message

    or

    “I need to see a man about a dog…be right back”…and you move on if she’s awkward

    You have many options…build your social skills…this is a social skills question you raise.

    Do you build social proof before you approach girls? First, get in the habit of having fun when you’re out without worrying about girls. Chat up the bartenders, the waitresses…they are social and appreciate any man who is bringing value by treating them like people. Chat up the bouncers, too, and ask them for tips. When you chat up people, you build up social proof and demonstrate value. Get a girl to laugh, then say you’ll check with her later and immediately move to the next until you’ve opened a few girls…don’t snipe at just one…that builds habits of losers. Get in the habit of having fun and building social proof.

  10. Zipper

    The inquiry is an IOI usually… Do you see that?

    “Whoa whoa… Slow your roll, I’m still getting to know you and you are thinking about marraige…lol”

    Tease her… But if they persistent just say “she wasn’t the right woman for me” (reframe your life) and use that to lead her where you want to go. You got to let go of the logical mindset… So where do you want to go…

    “heh… Yeah she wasn’t the right woman for me… I mean she was hot (preselection) and she was good in bed (sexualize) but she had these hang ups from her religious upbringing… She wasnt open to just living in the moment, seizing what pleasure we can come acrosss in this crazy world (setting a spontaneous non judgmental frame) and really enjoying herself fully. (lasering the fuck out of her like she is raw meat)… So i had to cut her loose. I mean I can’t live that way (setting apart)… I’m the kind of guy that I see what I want and I go take it (laser, kino) and yeah sometimes that’s risky (risk taker) but that’s what being ALIVE is about…(spike yolo emotions) You know?

    It’s cool she met a nice guy accountant and they got married so all good. I couldn’t fake being that guy again ( aloof asshole frame)

    So…”

    lead to where you want to go…

    And be who you want to be…

  11. And Doc… I’d hit that Mystery Method book (and follow up with the 7 or so hour long online clips) sooner rather than later. That bit is a basic routine stack structure to handle a situation that comes up over and over and progress the seduction towards your goals of p in v…

    Chess not checkers…

    And study it like your life depended on it… Cause it might. 😃

  12. had a nice little yoga practitioner/physical therapist on the hook last night (reminded me of what a Megan Fox might look like w/out makeup… just my type) and she was definitely intrigued and probing for more info; I finally get her to spill she’s got an 11 yo son, so I fucking blurt out some dumbass “me too” shit and I’m pretty sure that’s where things got derailed; went from possible stud to just another divorced dad piecing a crumbled life back together; she even politely refused any exchange of numbers when I was still trying to salvage the mess

    ouch

    and oscar, it felt like shit and humiliation, still does if that’s what I choose to focus on; but to do that would be to discount the most outstanding run of good shit that got me to that point to begin with; without that behind me, I’d likely not have felt ready to even go up to this girl and her friend to run the boldest and brashest like-a-boss approach I’ve even done in my whole life… it was going *that* good all night up until then so fine, I’m at least now a hundred miles ahead of where I was just a few hours earlier though obviously still a ways to go

    good perspective leads to good attitude, oscar, attitude…. you control that part of yourself you can own the world

  13. ok sent, I’ve been humbled, MM is sooner not later; I think it was irl that also mentioned it so thx to him, too

  14. Zipper: questions about marital status

    Sentient: The inquiry is an IOI usually

    This is confusing…Zipper has pinged on a girls Beta-dar…for me, that’s a meh…probably Zipper wants to ping on a girl’s Alpha-dar…Zipper’s presentation is probably beta…and the beta presentation is due to mindset…being plugged in to the FI matrix for years…fixing this is where the focus ought to be…(girls almost never ask my marital status because I don’t give off those beta signals)

    So, of course, as Sentient suggested, you want to flip her switches so that you ping on a girl’s Alpha-dar…you have to do this stuff until you fix your mental programming so that you’re no longer plugged into the Matrix…it will feel a bit weird doing this stuff because it’s incongruent with your mindset

    Gotta reinforce other’s recommendation. Read MM ASAP. It’s foundational for game.

  15. @Dr. Zipper

    You ask questions like a pro. The Mystery Method book ends with this:

    Sticking Points

    Every venusian artist has sticking points, which are parts of his game that are currently causing him trouble. Even the best venusian artists have sticking points and will be eager to discuss them in order to discover new ideas for overcoming them. In fact, if someone is ever reluctant to discuss his sticking points, then likely the person is not a venusian artist at all, but a keyboard jockey.

    Whenever your game reaches a new level, you will be confronted with new challenges and new sticking points. This process is never ending — the frustration often only increases with skill, and many will not have the patience to practice the venusian arts to mastery. To those who do, go the spoils.

    Sentient said: “And Doc… I’d hit that Mystery Method book (and follow up with the 7 or so hour long online clips) sooner rather than later. That bit is a basic routine stack structure to handle a situation that comes up over and over and progress the seduction towards your goals of p in v…
    Chess not checkers…”

    And second to last ends with this:

    Waypoints

    Whenever the venusian artist opens a set and begins the game, he is likely to encounter the same waypoints on his journey from meeting to sex.

    Some waypoints are:
    • Opening the set
    • Hook Point (Flurry of IOIs)
    • Locking-in
    • “So how do you all know each other?” (optional)
    • Introduction of playful kino
    • “Would you like to join us?” (optional)
    • She qualities herself or otherwise chases you.
    • Isolate the target for comfort-building
    • Compliance threshold
    • Kissing
    • Time bridge
    • “Your friend and I like each other, are you cool with that?” (optional)
    • Bounce to a C2 location
    • Bounce to a seduction location
    • Overcoming LMR

    The waypoints are important because they must all occur at some point in every set. If your game isn’t where you want it to be, figure out which waypoint is giving you the most trouble and then focus your practice efforts in that area.

    Keep in mind, Sentients recommendations for lines involves Mystery’s 5 Attraction Triggers, which are all derivative of Preselection

    -Leader of men.
    -Protector of loved ones.
    -Preselected by other women.
    -The ability to emote.
    -Risk taker. Someone who takes risk is attractive.

    @Dr. Zipper

    I can’t give much concrete advice on direct game aspects, but I can give some abstract advice on Mental Point of Origin and Frame and Social proof. Because I have had a lot of reference experiences in Mindset and Social Proof and socializing with social proof.

    I agree with ASDgamer on generating Social Proof. Social Proof and Pre-Selection trump your:
    “…I know it’s in my head and sprouting from my own insecurities…”

    (BTW, as an aside question, is your son in High School or College?)

    There is this structure of positive mental point of origin and Frame that comes from Reality Transurfing (which is learned structure for good MPoO and Frame). Here’s how that goes:

    Instead of having inner desire and inner intention to not be seen as a loser who’s wife left him, you transform that into outward intention and outward action (choosing moves on the chess table after they show up. Not just desiring things to potentially happen. But choosing your plays from what is what is going in real time in your set). Keep your moves in your frame. And be positive about the fact that the moves that you can act on will definitely present themselves to you. ‘Cause they definitely will.

    I’m going to link an article from a site called Girlschase dot com. Keep in mind it is a clickbait site but has some great articles on PUA Gaming. That site keeps a lot of cookies and tries to sell you service and article access. (but it keeps track and gives you ten free article reads a month.

    You can turn off or block your browser from accepting cookies from the site. The site is otherwise non-malicious.

    The article is “The Pro’s and Con’s of Social Proof Seduction”.

    The author thinks it’s too much effort and he doesn’t need it for his Game. But it could help in start up situations like you find yourself in.

    http://www.girlschase.com/content/pros-and-cons-social-proof-seduction

    Keep in mind also, my contention that social proof can also come from other males. But that having-social-proof-from-other-males does involve a lot of time and effort. (And there are not that many men being good at being men out there). And it is a tricky business as the author of the article I linked mentions.

    But it beats not having as much Social Proof. Who knows?, you could end up befriending a married, monogamous red pill wingman.

  16. Thanks Sentient. I’m on it for the next few days (tonight I’m out with a wing doing nightgame which should be fun, although I can’t deny there’s a part of me that feels a bit nervous and outcome dependent about it, thinking it would be SOO much more fun to watch Netflix at home..)

  17. what could have been a brutal slapdown I turned into a demo of standing my ground in a (hopefully) nonbutthurt way that I currently feel good about

    been doing some low-grade flirting (thx ton) with this early 20s waitress from whom I apparently misinterpreted her friendliness as being receptive to my *obvious* flirting

    I had done some of that last night, in fact, that was part of my successful first part of the evening

    so tonight I go to the nice little restaurant in town where she works and she’s there again with what I perceive as a genuine gladness that I was there while not busy

    we chit chat for a few minutes and I inquire about their breakfast-for-dinner and she is lazering me saying breakfast is good anytime… I order it and she’s asking me what I’m doing tonight, I vaguely say I don’t know yet but when is her shift over? she answers 9

    when she comes back w/ my food I say I know what my plan is tonight…. oh yeah? yeah, I want you to come hang with me after work

    she blanches then said, I can’t, I’m going home to my fiancee and I have morals; I say really? you’re shooting me down I said with a laugh; yep, shooting me down; I say “that’s too bad”; she’s got some weird fake smile look on her face and then she turns away

    I’m in a bit of shock at the reaction but proceed to eat and in a few minutes she comes back to ask about the food… I ask if she was offended and she says no and sorry if she came across as flirting, she’s just a friendly person; she’s very stiff and formal now and I try to to genuinely ask about her engagement while giving the ‘I’m just curious’ vibe; she says incredulously that I’m twice her age and that isn’t right; “really? throughout history that’s been the norm”; she then proudly states that this is a modern thing; she thinks it wrong to date anyone older than her brother, whoever that is

    I say, “wrong as in sins-in-the-bible wrong?” she says “no, I’m an atheist, I just think it’s wrong”;
    then I rebut “then it sounds like it’s just your preference, right?” “blah blah blah yes, it’s my preference”

    then I say “good, that’s all I wanted you to say; let’s leave it there on a good note”

    she leaves for a bit then comes back

    I can’t leave it alone cuz I’m feeling strong and I want to practice this shit anyway; when she comes back I say she’s sure an interesting person and I can’t believe she’s offended when someone wants to get to know someone when they’re interested in them and how’s a guy supposed to find out anyway unless he asks?; the way I’m saying it conveys my dismay at her stupidity and she has nothing to say to my captain obvious statement

    that’s about as good a win as this will ever bear so I pay up, tip normally, and leave with a strut and a wave

    weird small town girl and I didn’t even see a lick of it coming

  18. Dr. Z

    Sounds like she was in Lurv. Lol.

    Young chicks laser, bat their eyes and kino even when they aren’t flirting. In fact most early 20’s chicks don’t really know how to flirt. That’s why guys have to drive the interaction and don’t get miffed when they get all ” huh? What? I wasn’t flirting… Etc… Boyfriend… Blah blah “.

    You won’t know if you don’t try.

    Lots of young chicks dig older men. You’ll find that the number that do will outnumber the one’s that don’t. lol at her ” morals ” shit.

    Good work on not getting defensive and butthurt. On to the next one!

  19. @dr zipper – good work on pushing the comfort zone and asking her out. The important thing is that you did it (not her reaction – you can only control what you can control). As you practice more you’ll get better at telling the difference between professional friendliness and real interest (this is the kind of thing men like Blax and Ton do on instinct and can’t understand why everyone doesn’t just get it as soon as they talk to a girl, but for the rest of us it takes practice so kudos for getting in some of that practice).

    That said, I understand there is a powerful drive for some kind of logical closure on this for men (I’ve been there myself), but you understand that there was zero point to having a logical conversation with her about it right? You won’t change her mind or learn any new or useful information – just whatever rationalization her hamster throws out for not being attracted enough to you, which was the real reason (and hamster rationalization was your age), and you will just make things more awkward. That part of it wasn’t a win. You’d have been better off just making some kind of non-sequitur comment (it doesn’t have to make logical sense – more about emotionally showing you’re not bothered by rejection) and acting as if nothing happened and moving on with a smirk “slow down tiger, we only just met…I’m gonna watch Defenders on Netflix tonight..have you seen Defenders? It’s like a superhero team up show..anyway, what I want to order from the menu is..”

    (BTW if she had a fiance but was genuinely attracted to you, you may still have got a rejection, depending on how well you managed the logistics, how publicly you asked her out, how strong the attraction was, what her relationship with the fiance was etc, but in this case her reaction makes it very clear that there was pretty much zero attraction and she was probably just being professionally friendly – which is fine, you’ll get better at spotting that. This is also the reason why it is a good idea to drop sexualization into the interaction early as a diagnostic to spot her reaction)

    PS – I would generally avoid practicing in places where you are a regular to avoid precisely this kind of awkwardness. Unlike some guys learning pickup you are obviously not socially awkward so you won’t completely burn the place down (there are college students who have had to transfer colleges after burning their campus and getting a reputation as weird spam approach guy etc) but still, better to make your mistakes somewhere no one will remember you, until you get to a stage where you can handle it smoothly (you will still get rejected, everyone does, but you can see it coming further off and handle much more smoothly so there’s less or no awkwardness).

  20. The whole point of game. The whole reason your out tonight. The whole reason your talking to this bitch is to stick your dick inside of her. Don’t forget that

  21. thanks guys but culum, fuck them if they don’t like what I do…. I’m friendly enough and it was nothing on my end that was part of the problem

    if I wanted to ask her out then I’m gonna do it, I’m the fucking one making shit happen in life, not that dumb little bitch

    I know this sounds angry but it’s not, I’m fucking channeling Ton right now and it feels awesome

  22. lol, that’s definitely the plan j

    but after a bit more reconn, I’m gonna have to scratch her off the list

  23. @culum
    no one is saying you don’t have health issues. We can see that and sympathize (even if we can’t empathise)

    Its pretty clear they don’t. Its like having a person who wants to be a pro sprinter that has a serious accident where they have to relearn how to walk, and people are saying “Why aren’t you winning gold medals! Why aren’t you out running?” Its not realistic to expect that — if there is a major improvement, great, but the focus is gonna be simply on relearning to walk and that mainly involves staying positive and keeping at it — no medals will be won, but if you keep at it, despite any hitches that come up, eventually you’ll be able to walk again and THEN you can push hard for winning those track meets.

    Until I get my health issues squared away, its gonna be a grind. Like tonite where I got in a set with a cute latina, and felt nothing. Zero arousal. I was that worn out and drained. That’s way worse than usual, but its what I have to deal with for now — lack of libido, major lack of energy, inability to think quickly, lack of motivation. I can’t do anything about those, because they are related to whatever illness I have. It bears repeating, I am working extensively with Forge to get these squared away, but its a difficult diagnosis and will likely be very hard to fix.

    The important part is I keep going out, however, to develop that habit of always going out no matter what. Its also so that I have many references of being like this, so when things improve I can always think “man, today is bad, things aren’t going well, I feel like shit — but its nothing like what it used to be, so I’ll stay out as long as it takes.”

    If anyone actually wants to help, the situation is to offer breakdowns on my FRs like people used to do.

    Man I really really miss those.

    I don’t understand why no one gets this, and why there is all this snark

    you’re doing great hank, keep doing it however you feel is best

    Its not “yay you’re awesome hank keep it up.”, its doing a breakdown of listing “ioi when she did that, you lost attraction there do this next time, etc.” Then I can see where I did well, and how many opportunities I missed to look out for next time.

    Mersonia mentioned there being 11 places I could have bounced off with girls on my FR — Dude, just do a breakdown. All this stuff from you and blax going “you aren’t even trying to get laid, what’s wrong with you.” doesn’t help, but showing through a breakdown what I did right and wrong will get me to eventually make those big steps.

    Thats LITERALLY all I want here, an objective breakdown of my FRs. No handholding, no sugarcoating , just an impartial breakdown.

    Its amazing to me how this is an Field Report section, and I can’t even get any breakdowns. That is all I want. It helps me to escalated further next time, since I can convince myself I can do it because I had other people note where I had solid attraction (i.e. “you could have kissed her here”).

    You just aren’t understanding what a big deal it is to go out at all, and also not understanding things that are easy and and obvious to you aren’t to me.

    That’s it. All the “man up, don’t be a pussy” BS isn’t gonna work at all.

    What WILL work is 100% impartial breakdowns. That’s it.

    Just do a breakdown.

    Easy peasy.

  24. @Dr. Zipper: I’m with Culum pretty much all the way on the analysis. Even if you didn’t get butthurt (we all would LOL if you reported that you replied “I pay hockey”). You were still too reactive and cared too much about what she thought, otherwise you wouldn’t have cared to reach the “yes it is my preference” stage.

    Who cares what the historical norm was? You are an alpha stud, you don’t care about any norms (past or present), and she doesn’t if she is sufficiently aroused. If you really wanted to continue the interaction you should side-step and DHV in some other way (actually saying “You know, I play hockey” and self-amusing could work LOL), confronting her will usually just get her to encroach more in her position.

    I do think the girl could have been giving genuine IOIs and then backward rationalize her interest as being just professional courtesy.

    Do you even play hockey, bro?

  25. Hank

    Its amazing to me how this is an Field Report section, and I can’t even get any breakdowns. That is all I want.

    Lol…. go fuck yourself you pussy. You’ve had breakdowns and you shit the bed with defensive BS…

    No soup for you!

  26. Doctor Z….

    How would Mystery have handled that situation?

    You’re just bulling in a china shop.

    And on duty servers/bartenders are very hard pulls. Not the best batting practice cause they are paid to flirt so you easily misread them… sure be friendly and charming – that’s your practice –
    but you will need a lot more in the way of iois and sexualizing to escalate on them.

    Learn and move on right?

  27. And Doc… don’t use the easy availability as a buffer… Better to start right now doing The Hard Work and cold approaching civilian chicks… early and often.

    How many other approaches did you make last night?

  28. Millennial solipsism on full display:

    That’s it. All the “man up, don’t be a pussy” BS isn’t gonna work at all.

    What WILL work is 100% impartial breakdowns. That’s it.

    Give me what I want you bastards… exactly how I want it!!! Now!!

    This world is fully fucked.

    But another 10/10 display of the mindset Hank that has fucked you so thoroughly…

  29. @dr zipper – to add one more thing about learning to spot real IOIs and gaming on duty hired guns. You may want to check out some strip clubs. About 2-3 years ago (when I was still doing mostly online game), I spent a few weeks going very regularly to strip clubs.

    Never paid for any dances, mostly chatted up the girls who came to ask me for dances. Never succeeded in even a number close (although came close a couple of times). But I learnt a LOT very very fast about spotting real IOIs and interest from a woman vs fake interest. Like a stripper makes a living out of faking interest in men – if you can spot the difference with one (and variations thereof, like the stripper who isn’t really attracted to you, but genuinely thinks you’re a cool guy and enjoys talking to you because you’re not a loser like most guys who go there), you probably won’t miss the real IOIs vs friendliness from other hired guns.

    I don’t do strip club game anymore (I should probably try it – it’s easy to do alone and my overall skills have improved a lot since then), but the skills I learnt then have stood me in very good stead.

    PS – Also read YaReally Archive posts about strip clubs (early in the archive), plus there are various old school online guides about strip club game.

  30. @ hank

    I’m not a doctor, and I’ve never even played one on TV, but from the symptoms you are describing it sounds like your having a hormonal issue.

    Instead of waiting for breakdowns of you fr’s , take time and google symptoms for:

    Low testosterone/andropause

    Hypothyroidism.

    The symptoms you described are going to need bloodwork to pin down. Don’t waste time seeing general practitioners, you sound like you need and endocrinologist. The lack or energy, and more specifically the flagging libido is very telling.

    Diet and exercise is crucial, but some issues require meds ( test and thyroid supplementation ). But its up to you to handle this. Doctors will usually only show as much I terest in your health as you do

    Spending years suffering isn’t the way to go. Like I’ve tried to explain to you before, you have an expiration date. No need to suffer or move that date up. Put as much energy and ACTION into getting answers as you do into wanting detailed fr breakdowns.

    Walk and chew gum at the same time.

    Sorry I lack empathy in your estimation.

  31. @having a bad day
    You my friend take it to the next level… hat tip…

    LOOKS DON”T MATTER!!!…lol…

    https://therationalmale.com/2016/05/06/good-girls-bad-girls/comment-page-4/#comment-155387
    …and the follow up HABD’s responses to Rollo and others (scattered over a few pages) – a MUST READ.

    @Sentient, look at this part:

    […] being ‘fit’ is both easier (bc you have some amount of time to open/get in set)… and harder (bc you are going to have to work more at drawing some shit tests (to show your internals) and hold your frame better, so you can convince her hindbrain to go all in…lol… (and not just for ‘provisioning sex’…lol)…

    I assume you’re good looking, so this might be your blind spot as HABD is suggesting. Some of your openers are almost passive (e.g. sit/stand next to her and touch her finger with your hand placed on the bar w/o looking at her… or open your arms) and yet they push your interactions forward (or do they?). They don’t work for me though (at the same time I acknowledge my subcomms/internals might not be there yet). I need to ramp it up and actually wedge in, press my shoulder against hers or just start talking etc. (with preselection and other attraction switches it’s a different story). So there’s an unknown band of possible blind spots between doing these things with little effort & good looks and making them work w/o looks.
    Also, I get many more obvious shit tests from the get go (or just plain disinterest lol). You don’t. Why don’t you force them and go past the “harder” part of good looks quicker…

    maybe IRL can find it… he seems to have some pretty good search skillzzzz…lol

    Everything about me is pretty good… lol… and I take notes when I see good insights. Loads of them here in TRM comments.

    Ok challenge accepted you lazy bum!

    Here’s the “I said this before” (one of many?):
    https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2015/09/29/women-are-happy-communicating-in-the-language-of-children/#comment-712374

    And here’s WHY:
    https://therationalmale.com/2016/05/06/good-girls-bad-girls/comment-page-9/#comment-156204

    BTW, your keywords led me to this (Sentient to Culum):

    Two hours or more!!!! Man I don’t think I could muster that unless it was a super super hot fun girl, like the Chinese model from the fall… As it is, it is counterproductive to spend more time pre-bang if you DON’T have to… You diffuse attraction at an alarming rate. My model is amp amp amp attraction and then layer in just enough comfort and move, either to make out and pull or pull. Then you have the attraction overload working in your favor. This is why, other than logistics, I like SNL game… You are forced to act and move… you can”t sit back and wait. Attraction – Logistics – Comfort – Pull (or move on)

    @Sentient, that’s a great piece of advice… but why with the hot girls caveat?! What’s wrong with getting to sex first when dealing with “Chinese/EE models”? Every TRM reader knows it’s easier to go from alpha to beta than in the opposite direction. Besides, “you diffuse attraction at an alarming rate” yeah?

    Re-read HABD’s comments from before and force those shit tests… lol
    (I usually use cobi’s escalation ladder… you could pack it all in there: sexualization, story telling, DHVs, compliance tests, finding out where you’re at in the interaction)

  32. I’m just gonna post my Sat night FR in a bit, once I step out to get a coffee and flirt with the cute barista and come back.

    Didn’t pull, but kudos [to myself LOL] for staying out till the bitter end – 45 mins after all the bars and clubs closed and going for the pull. Some interesting technical points too.

  33. sent – don’t know yet how MM would have done it, lol, working on that; oh yeah, getting out there and breaking shit while trying to make it work…. lol that’s pretty much how I try to do shit in other areas, too

    she might have been doing the ‘paid to be nice’ stuff, I did consider that when ruminating over how to interpret our interactions over the last few weeks; and if it matters, I never did this shit in front of her co-workers… only when she and I could talk unheard; I just think that she’s just a simple small town girl that didn’t know how she was coming across…. not malicious, just ignorant; but fuck it, I’m there to get what I want and I feel really good about knocking down some mental hurdles to that end

    it was kinda fun, if not expected; I’m trying to give myself credit for staying cool in an awkward situ and trying to work past it; clumsy and imperfect, yep, but my takeaway is that I get to practice thinking on my feet and holding frame…. I can’t set a precedent of letting a little girl rattle me, gotta learn how to overcome smoothly and roll on

    thanks for the dissection fellas, it does help…… I know I have a ways to go, but less than I did yesterday

  34. IRL

    I suspect it has to do with the lack of sexual urgency with the hottest girls…

    Still not entitlement.

    Just lest rawness… Odd. But it’s more like I’d imagine her with me seated, curled up at my feet, and stroking her head like some kind of sexy Ocelot, while I sip a very old whiskey…

    Like the sex is secondary and assumed… The dopamine high is in possession. Very curious place to be. Part I attribute to being married and having drained ballz all the time.

    But not new… I had a 9 who worked for me 25 years ago and we essentially dated for 6 months on the road every week… I never felt an urge to make a move on her, just enjoyed her by my side and playing.

    Now on the flip side a friend of my wife is a 7… Late 30s… Cute as a bug. And she came over the other day, i answered the door, and we chatted and it is clear she is into me… Ddb eyes all the time… So i kept close just chatting but really could have drilled her up against the wall right then and there…

    They say the number one reason guys are into porn is the chick is into it… Perhaps part of my blase attitude is based on really working for it. I am phenomenally lazy at times.

    Don’t cry for me Argentina though… This will be muddled through.
    Lolz

  35. @blax

    I’m not a doctor

    Exactly. Its nothing you’ve mentioned. Not trying to be a dick, but me and forge already have some likely candidates for my illness. There are many more symptoms that I am not listing here.

    I might luck out with there being a (sort of) quick fix, but it is more likely a fairly complicated disorder that can’t be fixed very quickly — it involves a number of factors and may need a complete lifestyle change.

    Spending years suffering isn’t the way to go. Like I’ve tried to explain to you before, you have an expiration date. No need to suffer or move that date up. Put as much energy and ACTION into getting answers as you do into wanting detailed fr breakdowns.

    That’s literally the point. I am doing that. I have been seeing some specialist doctors and working on things on my own, I just down write them down here. However, despite making little progress on that, I’m still trying to go out and work through it. But no one is taking that in to account — again, its the same with the guy learning to walk again — that’s the goal, not winning olympic medals.

    I am absolutely walking at chewing gum at the same time — its just going to be more of crawl until I can make a breakthrough healthwise.

    but here I am barely getting through the day and everyone is like “WHY AREN’T YOU HAVING THREESOMES WITH STRIPPERS HANK!”

    You guys are literally treating me as if I were a 100% healthy person.

    @sentient

    Dude, you’ve never admitted even now that you were wrong about saying Yareally had no friends outside of game. When you said “yareally had no friends outside of game, check his archive.” and I came back with reams of quotes from his archive where he said, plain as day, he DID have non-PUA friends.

    You had that 100%, swear to god notion that Yareally was wrapped up completely in PUA that your mind just made up all that stuff about him mentioning time and time again he had no friends outside PUA, when in fact it was the complete opposite. Your mind can’t even handle something going against your world view, so it just makes shit up. Its 100% back and white, sentients way is the only way, can’t even be wrong ever at all. Even if there is ample evidence you are wrong, you’ll still just go on believing you were always right.

    Point is, you suck at teaching newbies. You have only one way of seeing the world, only one way of teaching, and whenever someone else comes along with a better approach than you have, all you can do is just insult them.

    That’s why you always hated yareally, because he was so much better than you at teaching newbs. On another person, that would be inspiring to learn how exactly he go through to these newbs, but nope “What, someone is better than me? IMPOSSIBLE. That must just be because they are secretly a lonely bitter depressed loser. Yeah that’s it. Wheeew, thought I might actually have to admit someone was better than me for a sec.”

    So all this entitlement you mention — Ridiculous. No one has to post breakdowns AT ALL. I really don’t care if no one posts at all. I post here 100% for me to get through what I am going through and to motivate me to keep at it.

    My whole point of that last post is that beating your heads against the wall isn’t going to work. Its clear the whole drill sergeant routine is ineffective for reasons I explained. All I am saying is if you are interested at all in helping me improve, then those breakdowns are what will do it. Otherwise you’re better off not wasting your time.

    But thats hard. It means the “just yell and insult at people” sentient style doesn’t always work, and you can’t admit that’s a possibility. You could, as a teacher, actually be focused on the student, and adapt your teaching style to the student. The more students that succeed, the better the teacher.

    You, however, are only here to validate your own beliefs. That’s why rather than trying to understand other people’s perspectives or styles, or at least trying to convince them yours or best, you just insult anyone who’s different than you.

  36. So, Saturday night Field Report from me.

    Interesting night after some very frustrating ones.

    Out with my quasi-Natural wing I’ve mentioned before (the goodlooking jacked dude, good personality and social skills, total BP romantic, but has enough basic pulling skills, combined with his looks, to get laid regularly, but his love life is like watching a soap opera with all the girls and emotional declarations and feelz in play. We get along well though and create a lot of good energy and vibes in the bar – in essence – this is unplanned – he plays cool guy/great catch and I play sleazebag in vibe).

    Anyway, we had a couple of beers and a chat and did a circuit of the bars…good vibe and good energy going (the beers helped a bit, but honestly the biggest thing was just having a good wing I vibed well with – makes such a big difference to solo).

    No freezing, no approach anxiety, I did some approaches and they all opened well, as did the approaches my wing did. I do think we need to find the right balance between vibing and talking to more girls though – I’m far from being a spam approacher but my wing tends to drag me to the other extreme of not talking to enough – keeps wanting to go and sit in the table in the back etc. Also need to work a bit more on wing rules. We could have approached and talked to a LOT more girls (and my wing is fine opening after he’s had a drink or two – it’s not AA, he just doesn’t WANT to open that much)

    I had a cute college girl I opened who was into me, just as we were leaving a bar, and she was maybe a HB6 but one of those girls where there is instant sexual chemistry like getting turned on talking to her and she was going on about how my eyes were amazing and did I wear contacts etc but I had to drop it because my wing hated that bar and wanted to go elsewhere.

    Various other opens and brief conversations.

    Most interesting was later my wing (in the last hour or so of the night) opened a HB6 blonde about early 30s who was very obviously there with her bf but they were sitting at opposite ends of the crowded table we were sharing (plus a couple more guys – I’m not sure if they were friends of the bf). She blew open immediately and started telling us her boyfriend had been disrespectful to her by grinding and dancing with other girls or something (the bf could see us across the table but not hear us).

    She was pretty obviously trying to make him jealous (in fact I told her that) but she was fun to talk to so we chatted to her for like half an hour. What was interesting was the usual textbook reaction to my good looking wing (I joked at one point about how some girl was talking to a guy less attractive than my wing and she was like “[wing] is really attractive” very seriously) and how she started focussed on him and addressing him, but as I went into gear and emotionally spiked her and said a lot of outrageous things and self-amused and sexualized strongly (I was talking about swingers at one point, some crap about “making her airtight” etc), she totally turned her RAS to me and hardly spoke to him [Of course the whole interaction with us was for her BF’s benefit, but it was still interesting how she changed focus to me]. I did some lasering but no kino as her bf was around.

    It was absolutely textbook YaReally stuff. I never doubted it works but it’s still fascinating to see it confirmed yet again.

    At the end of the night when everyone spilled out on the street as the bar closed, my wing got his Uber and left and I was talking to this girl (BF was a few feet away so the conversation was just us) and the vibe was good – she even suggested me sharing an Uber with her and the BF..[actually now that I think about it, I can’t remember her words exactly – I’m not certain she meant with the bf, but probably she did – this is part of the problem with drinking – even a couple of beers doesn’t get me drunk but I lose the edge to remember this kind of thing at 4am or understand its significance. I turned her down but in retrospect I should of course have said yes and seen where it went – even if it didn’t go to a lay it’s extending an interesting night and seeing where it takes you.]

    On a side note – YaReally and Scray used to go on and on about how just being good company and bringing good energy to people is itself highly valued and if you do that, people will seek out your company and offer value etc. It’s interesting [like with this girl who I wasn’t trying to pull at all] to see how people react to that kind of positive energy and good vibe – I’ve seen it on a few other occasions as well, on good nights when I’m in the zone and not “frozen” or anything.

    The other interesting set of the night was also in the same bar (we started and ended in the same bar, and made a circuit of a few more in between). Early on, there was a HB6.5ish mid 30s woman who seemed to know a lot of people in the bar but was functionally alone, who pretty much approached and hit on my wing, who had absolutely zero interest in her, but she was pretty persistent – kept touching him etc [she was getting a bit drunk early on too] and he made polite talk with her, then we moved tables to get out of her way, then she came back when I went to the restroom etc.

    Readers may remember an FR of mine a few months ago where – in the same bar with the same wing – where I opened a girl, then she gravitated to him because of his looks, then I pulled her back with charm and taking over her RAS, then she was way more into me, then I kind of “let” him have her because I didn’t want a conflict with him and even though she was playing a jealousy plotline between us, he ended up taking her home. I was really really pissed off with myself more than him (he had no clue about the dynamics going on and he just took the girl in front of him) and swore to myself I wouldn’t do that again.

    And I haven’t. The following week after that incident, we went to a singles event and I took the hottest girl there off him, then last night was the next time we were out together and I “took” the attention of the girl-with-bf off him.

    I did basically the same thing with this woman too, but it didn’t work as well. It was partly because she was *really* into him, and partly because she was so drunk even early that she basically didn’t register most of my conversation and emotional spiking. I still had some attraction from her though – I was making the most ridiculous sexual statements, checking out her tits, grabbing her ass, pulling her in, all good compliance (but not great – there was *some* resistance) and mini-spikes, but she kept “snapping” back to him (which rarely happens because I’m much more engaging than him in conversation – he’s not bad at all, I’m just better).

    Anyway, then we left that bar and came back right near closing time and got into the conversation with the girl-with-bf while the 6.5 was in some corner with a total, totally loser looking dude who hadn’t made a single move on her in 40 mins. Then the bar closes and my wing leaves [after successfully avoiding that woman all that time], and I was chatting with the girl-with-bf and refusing the Uber ride etc (partly because I was thinking of making a play to pull her).

    She was really pretty drunk at this point (still functional and not passed out, still walking and talking but pretty drunk) and was essentially floating between different guys/groups of drunk guys all coming out of the closing bars and clubs..the guy she’d been talking with inside for 40 mins was holding her hand for the longest time but he couldn’t hold on to her..some other guy came and gave her a hug..then went away, then she got some cigarettes off a group of young guys in their twenties and each of the guys in the group tried to pull her, then back to original guy from bar, then back to the group..I watched some of this from across the street for like 15 mins thinking about whether to do something.

    Then I crossed the street and grabbed her (physically) from the original guy in the bar and chatted a bit, but was near impossible to have a coherent conversation and then sort of we both got sucked back into the big group of half a dozen guys about ten feet away, and then (this was all unplanned – they were too drunk/uncoordinated) kind of got separated with the group between us.

    Then 30 seconds later I literally walked into the group from the side and physically grabbed her and pulled her out to me (no resistance from the guys or her) and turned her around to face me and I figured we can’t really talk and I pulled her in (no resistance but no help either) and went for the kiss and got the face-turn, and I smirked and was like “Hey! Kiss!” and she literally was like “No, no, not happening, where’s your friend?” (lol), but she wasn’t pulling away either. At this point I just didn’t know what to do next – clearly I needed more attraction but just the next step wasn’t clear so I sort of her turned her around and pushed her back into the group and left. I guess if I’d managed to just hang in there, literally outlasting the other guys (Julien talks about this in PIMP a bit – the last man standing is usually the one who will get the lay)

    It was a good experience – I’ve been saying for a while I need to stay till the end of the night more often and play in that environment and I’m really glad I’ve started doing it – it’s so febrile, anything can happen. It’s great fun. And I’m really happy I pushed my boundaries with grabbing the girl and trying to pull her etc. Still a bit annoyed I did it with this girl (who was much less cute and less into me than the girl I basically threw away for my wing’s benefit) instead of one who was more into me. But still, this was a lot of fun.

    Need to drink even less to stay sharper and open more with the girls at the end of the night..I’m not even sure how to open girls or what to say at that time of the night..

  37. FR from Sat. night in country bar

    Got to the bar about 9:45…was walking thru a low-traffic area…saw a guy I know and he wanted to chat…while we were chatting, a girl he knows comes up and says hi to him…after chatting with him a bit, the girl starts chatting with me…wants to know my name…guesses that I’m a farmer…is running incidental kino on me…wants to know my “real occupation”…she’s drunk and I want her to leave, so I answer her question directly in dog-onese…she’s obviously wanting a direct answer with her cold-read that I’m a farmer…wants to know where I live and I tell her that “we” bought a house in our current location…she asks if I’m married and I own it and she leaves…husband hunting…of course, the “we” could have been a gf and me

    I caught a young guy I’ve been hanging with in the bar trying to hustle me out of a beer…he said that he only had a buck, then later finds that he has four bucks in his wallet. I didn’t buy him a beer.

    I danced with a hot girl a couple of times…the young guy says that she only dates pro football players and the like…later, I’m talking with some old friends and the girl walks by and goes to the side of the table across from me, then leaves, obviously trolling.

    Late in the evening, I ask a girl I know to dance and she is up for it and she asks me to give her a lesson…a buxom lass wearing a “Just Fuck Me Now” look…I tell her that she has to buy me a drink first…she rubs her tits all over me the rest of the dance.

  38. @Culum

    “Need to drink even less to stay sharper”

    May i suggest my drink: red bull vodka. When its time to head out. I buy two cans of sugar-free (not tryin to get fat. Big reason i stopped drinking beer) red bull and a 200 ml of smirnoff i mixed them in an empty water bottle and listen to trance or rsd video while walking. Sometimes i even watch porn on the street to get myself into a sexual vibe and to prepare myself to handle social pressure. Its a process. It would be funny as fuck if all of a sudden i see guys walking around watching porn at night lmao.

    “and open more with the girls at the end of the night..I’m not even sure how to open girls or what to say at that time of the night”

  39. Real quick –

    “Point is, you suck at teaching newbies. You have only one way of seeing the world, only one way of teaching, and whenever someone else comes along with a better approach than you have, all you can do is just insult them. “

    People learn in different ways. Sometimes, a teacher will change the way they teach in order to teach someone, but in my experience this is not always the best way for everyone, nor does it instruct one how to actually learn.

    You have to learn how to learn. There’s nothing, and I mean NOTHING that one human being can ” know ” that another, with all of his faculties intact, cannot learn. It’s a matter of motivation – how badly do you want it.

    Finally, what I’ve told my children and every young person in my life : The teacher has something you want and need. It’s up to you to go and get it. There are no special snowflakes when it comes to this shit re: teaching men how to talk to girls and get laid. Don’t use ” newb ” as a buffer. I will say it once again for posterity – everyone was born unable to speak or walk or feed themselves, shitting and pissing on themselves. We all start at the same place. The majority of men are no longer in that position barring some kind of disease or accident. There are really no excuses, ” newb ” included. How badly do you want it? How motivated are you? Do you still need a diaper?

    Maybe one day YaReally will come back. But riddle me this, with all of his walls of text on your behalf, why did you still have such a hard time of it? What is it that you believe will magically change if YaReally came back tomorrow, besides his insistence that everyone be mindful of what they say around the newbs?

    ” but here I am barely getting through the day and everyone is like “WHY AREN’T YOU HAVING THREESOMES WITH STRIPPERS HANK!” “

    Well, you should try it. It’s pretty cool with the right strippers.

    Maybe you need to forget about trying to ” game ” chicks until you get your health issues resolved. If you feel that awful and have no drive or energy, what’s the point? This shit is not only an exercise, and I think that’s one of the biggest problems I have with some dudes trying to learn pua – it’s just some kind of exercise with no final point ( P in V ). It’s like studying for the driving test, but never actually getting behind the wheel of a car. Next step.

    But you’re going to continue to tell me that I don’t understand. Like you’re the only one that’s ever suffered health issues of any kind.

    Step the fuck up. Burden of performance and all. The dick and balls between your legs are not there for decoration or balance.

  40. @Sentient
    Maybe we should all have our T levels tested… lol… I’m definitely not a horndog. My natural buddy is and I can tell the difference in his interactions with girls. They see it too, it’s just raw (at the same time, he never approaches from cold and basically follows everything yareally used to say about naturals… but that’s a side note). I think this sexual rawness shapes many naturals, it’s just there under the skin all the time. Pings back as a sexual threat…

    Which brings me to an interesting thought. Check this out:

    “I suspect it has to do with the lack of sexual urgency with the hottest girls…”

    This is exactly what betas feel when they interact with girls matching their perceived SMV (give or take a notch). Think about it, it’s an important insight (ask me how I know it lol). Now, whatever it is that makes you feel like that, it doesn’t matter. It’s what girls perceive. Do you ping as a beta or an alpha?

    Take it a step further. Why don’t you have the same Rom Com twist with lower SMV girls (<HB8)? You can easily have them fully immersed and submissive, happy to fulfil all your "old whisky" (non-sexual) fantasies. What's wrong with them, huh?

    I think HABD might be onto something… lol

    “Just lest rawness… Odd. But it’s more like I’d imagine her with me seated, curled up at my feet, and stroking her head like some kind of sexy Ocelot, while I sip a very old whiskey…”

    Does she feel the same though? Is it ‘full possession’ if you haven’t made her wet and don’t control her unfulfilled desires? Do you ping back as a sexual threat or the opposite? If not alpha… then beta… Hypergamy never sleeps… and needs to move on. So I get your assertion of “lack of sexual urgency”, it’s just that I know what it leads to on the girl’s side… That’s why Mystery talked about attraction switches (reaction) and not DPA traits (action).

    So… is this sexy Ocelot… lying there… by any chance… on some raised platform? Like… I don’t know… a pedestal? lol

    Follow @j’s suggestion and watch some porn next time… lol… and then tell her what you want… an Ocelot!

  41. just got back from the grocery store and had to relay this quickie… guess who was coming at me in the same aisle at the store? that same waitress girl from last night but this time with her betrothed and a little blonde toddler

    just another young couple in love and creating dependents before they can even rub 2 nickels together

    the absurdity made it funny as hell and I had the biggest grin as I passed her, she pretended to not see me

    with patience, life will reveal its lessons

    “who is this god you speak of and why does he keep fucking with me?”

  42. IRL

    Lol, you say it in jest, but I advocate for every guy in his late 20’s – early 30’s to get their T levels checked.

    Numerous studies conducted show a generational decline in testosterone levels.

    Anecdotally, most younger guys I know or associate with don’t seem to have the same libido/sex drive that I do as an old man. There’s a certain appreciation, not pedestalization, that males should have for the feminine.

  43. Per my comment above, to clarify a bit – having an appreciation for the feminine does not mean being an awestruck beta.

    I’m talking about the natural appreciation for the opposite sex for being ” opposite “. It is independent to what she might think. It’s not really about her at the end of the day….I gotta get that phrase out of my vocabulary.

  44. Don’t eat soy. Avoid plastics/BPA’s. Eat red meat and consume copius amounts of fats, and keep the carbs down to a bare minimum.

  45. @j – thanks dude that video’s great. I’m gonna try that.

    As for the booze, I prefer not drinking at all (it’s more something to DO, and less that I need the buzz) but I’m gonna try vodka like you suggest if I’m drinking..at least it won’t make me fat..

    Oh and daytime LR with another online HB6 40 year old chick earlier today. I was pretty much on autopilot, and ended up in the same restroom stall in the same bar as usual having my way with her 90 minutes in. I literally can’t add any more new details, this was so routine it wasn’t funny. No shit tests, full compliance. I haven’t quite got to the point of thinking about what to watch on Netflix later while gaming her or getting a BJ, but it’s really not that far off. This stuff is so routine now.

  46. (when this chick told me online that I had “magnetic eyes” in my pictures, I knew I pretty much had it in the bag as long as I didn’t fuck it up)

  47. @Culum
    “Need to drink even less to stay sharper and open more with the girls at the end of the night..I’m not even sure how to open girls or what to say at that time of the night..”

    Dude, I know you know all this and that’s a reoccurring theme here, but again… because people don’t set goals and don’t try to achieve them (we’re all guilty of that):

    1. Know exactly what you want
    In the case of your FR nights out, is it ‘cold approach’ sex? Being out and social? Opening 10+ girls? What is it? Clarity is power. When you know what you want, you cut the crap and get to your goal quicker.

    2. Have a plan and resources ready
    For the sake of this, I’ll assume sex (not sure though, your FR is not really about that), so take care of logistics and keep that MM fresh. That’s obvious.
    You need some warmup? Find out what it is, what works for you, don’t wing it. If you want pre-seduction time with your wing (or solo) and just socialize to get in the mood etc, plan it in. Watch porn if you feel like it (@j I’m loving it now, I’ll even add it to my stories lol). This means knowing you’re doing the first part of the night differently, and also that you’re not doing anything that interferes with your main plan (like drinking too much).

    3. Execute the plan
    Sentient quoted Jeffy a few pages back and this is a solid advice:

    you know the structure of a pick up, so your able to methodically move it along

    cause I’m only thinking about two things… number one is what is the girl emotionally giving me right now… secondly where am I in the interaction itself, and what is the next step to the end goal of obviously sex

    That’s all you need to do: a) keep checking where you and the girl are in the interaction, b) think about the next stage, c) move the interaction in this direction. Boom!

    Little compliance tests are gold. Keep testing where you are with her (and scale it up from small to big hoops). How much is she invested in the interaction? How resistant is she to do something for you? How does she react to you sexualizing it? How receptive is she to kino? How far can you move her? You can baby step all of these, but you need to keep moving forward (sometimes one step back two forward if you miscalibrate). It might be messy and you’ll skip some compliance tests, but you’ll defo move her. So why wait or do other things?

    Re-read your FR and think of what you could get rid of next time. Did you actually get to A3 with any of them? Or was it mainly socializing and warming up until it was too late and then you just tried to wing it? And how did the short set method work for you?

    Clarity. Focus. Action.

  48. @Blaximus
    “Lol, you say it in jest, but I advocate for every guy in his late 20’s – early 30’s to get their T levels checked.”

    No, I’m actually looking into it as we speak. Would you go to a clinic or is a DIY finger prick blood sample kit good enough? I never tried the latter…

    I’m also going to use the “I play hockey” line, watch porn before my next game night (or during lol) and try a few other things that I keep adding to my list. I always test stuff, if nothing than for fun and good stories lol

    I had this challenge the other night… My buddies and I enter a new bar on the way to the main event and I’m supposed to ask a 2-set two specific questions (you’ll see in a moment). Pffff… what seems to be the problem… The girls sit at a small table. I walk over, sit nearby and turn to face them. A simple chit chat about the bar scene and within 30-60 seconds I ask the first question: “have you ever… had sex… (longer pause) with a dog?”… They look at me with WTF painted all over their faces. I laugh and say “I just thought I’ll be a bit controversial… lol… but look at you, you’re doing just fine”… They kind of recover, I get serious and ask my second question: “no but seriously would you like to fuck a dog?”… and this is when I notice some strange paintings around… and realize we are at a gay bar… lol… so I comment on that… and the conversation keeps going… like nothing happened… lol

    Oh… and I’m teaching my 7yo how to drive. He’s too short so needs to sit on my lap, but it’s such a great fun! He gets his fair deal of challenges too… but these are stories for another time…

  49. Blaximus: “I’m not a doctor”

    Hank: “Exactly. Its nothing you’ve mentioned. Not trying to be a dick, but me and forge already have some likely candidates for my illness. There are many more symptoms that I am not listing here.

    I might luck out with there being a (sort of) quick fix, but it is more likely a fairly complicated disorder that can’t be fixed very quickly — it involves a number of factors and may need a complete lifestyle change.”

    I am a doctor. And I’ve been observing psychology for decades.

    What we have here is failure to communicate with ourselves.
    A complete failure to have the heart aligned with the mind. The mind is fucking the body over big time.

    A whole foundational tear down and rebuild is necessary. There are a lot of holes in the bottom of Hank’s bucket that are hemorrhaging. Some of them need to be plugged. It’s 90% mental and the other half is physical. I.e. the physical problems are mental. There is no free excess energy there. It is all leaking out. The physical results from the mental problems. It is lifestyle. And it won’t be fixed until the mindset if fixed.

    It’s no wonder that RSD and PUA’s were backing the truck up to Physical Health, Developing one’s Purpose, Spiritual Health and Intimacy (perhaps…, but intimacy is not something that all people need. But there is something that men need: someone to trust with your deepest secrets–Jorden Peterson’s “Dark Side”. I’m a firm believer in trusting Yourself, if you Know Thyself, with your Dark Side.) once they developed the ability to get laid. –at least Julien RSD was..

    Hank is merely feeling and is ‘Empty’.

    A passage from something I was reading at my farm today (absorbing Mother Nature and strengthening my Spirituality):

    This comes from Nick Sparks, dating coach, from his book ‘As You are: Ignite Your Charisma, Reclaim your Confidence, Unleash your Masculinity’.

    Quote:

    The Missing Piece

    CHAPTER 14
    The Biggest Secret of All

    These days we get pulled in a million different directions. Work often consumes our lives, sometimes to the point of insanity. Our physical health is typically on the low end of our priorities even though it’s the one thing we can’t get back. And our social life often seems to be at odds with our health when it’s more about blowing off steam than connecting with others.
    When we do get a smidge of free time, we watch TV, play video games, or do anything to give our brain a quick break from our near constant responsibilities. All the while we never take a moment to think about what’s going on around us, and as we get older, life passes by faster and faster.

    A simple thing that is easy to forget is that this is all connected. Guys often focus on their social skills when they want to improve their social life, forgetting that their physical and professional health are integral parts of that as well. And the healthier you are, mentally and physically, the more successful you’ll be professionally and socially.

    With so many things to focus on, it’s easy to get side-tracked. That’s why it’s important to have balance in our lives. Specifically, there are four areas in our lives that must be given equal priority: your physical health, developing your purpose, spiritual health, and intimacy with others. If any of them begins to suffer from lack of attention, all of them will suffer.

    PHYSICAL HEALTH

    You only get one body and one life. The stronger your physical body, the more energy you’ll have to put toward work — and anything else you love — and the more sound you’ll be mentally and emotionally. The benefits also extend to your social life as well. Not only will you have more energy to socialize, but the stronger your body, the more you’ll be able to hold space, process your feelings, and be comfortable with the feelings of the moment. When I’m fatigued I can’t bring my best self to socializing and all of my interactions suffer.

    The biggest determinant to your physical health is the amount of sleep you get (certainly tied to everything else on this list), and then comes exercise and diet. I’m not an exercise or diet coach, and I won’t pretend that what works for me works for everyone. Any book you find in amazon’s bestseller lists have been pre-screened as providing quality info. There’s plenty of quality free to inexpensive resources available online. What’s important is that you take action.

    DEVELOPING YOUR PURPOSE

    I believe that every single human being on the planet has an amazing gift to share with the rest of the world. It’s our duty in life to discover, develop, and use that gift to benefit as many people as possible. Maybe we’re afraid to fail in this area or we’re not sure where to turn. We do the minimum we have to in order to get by, all the while telling ourselves we’re somehow cheating the system. But the only thing we’re cheating is ourselves. You’ll realize it, at least subconsciously, in the stagnant mediocrity of your life, frustratedly knowing you were meant for something greater. Until you get your life on the path you were meant for, you’ll only take that frustration out on yourself and everyone around you.

    What do you love to do? Love the outdoors? There are plenty of careers in that area. Want to make a positive difference in the world? The possibilities are endless. Love numbers and spreadsheets? Fortunately your passions match up with what society has deemed most valuable. For those whose passions lie elsewhere, don’t listen to what anyone else says you should be doing. At the end of the day there’s only what makes you happy and fulfills you, and at the end of your life that’s all that will matter. Hell, if a kid from Detroit can be a dating coach, you can do anything.

    SPIRITUAL HEALTH

    It doesn’t matter what you believe in, what religion speaks most strongly to you — if any religion at all. You can believe in an all-powerful being, or simply believe in the power of nature and the human spirit. What’s important is that you take time off to rest and replenish yourself.
    Meditation, in all of its forms, is simply the practice of quieting down your mind and getting more in touch with the feelings in your body. In terms used here, meditation is practicing holding space with yourself. If you’re having trouble holding space with others, meditation (and exercise) should jump to the top of your list of priorities. The specific form you choose doesn’t really matter, as long as you feel more peaceful and focused afterward and the near-constant stream of thoughts inside our heads have quieted down. Start with whatever form speaks most strongly to you.

    Yoga is an excellent way to improve your spiritual health. This could easily be slotted under physical health, as it’s certainly great for that, but I wanted to strongly distinguish between most western varieties of yoga — which are essentially glorified cardio classes — and yoga as it was traditionally practiced. At its core, yoga is about moving your body in specific ways to evoke different feelings so that they can be experienced. In this way it’s another form of meditation.
    There are many other ways to improve your spiritual health as well. Go for a walk in nature; go for a swim in the ocean. Look up at the sky and marvel at its vast infinity. Dump all of your problems onto someone else (therapists are great for this, lest you scare away friends). Clear your mind of the worries and stresses of the world and just take some time to relax and enjoy something you love. Life goes by quickly. It’s up to you to slow it down.

    INTIMACY

    I could spend an entire chapter discussing scientific studies such as Ed Diener and Martin E.P. Seligman’s 2002 study, “Very Happy People,” which conclude that a person’s happiness and overall well-being is more closely tied to the quality of his relationships than any other factor. A quick google search will provide an almost endless list of them. What may be more surprising is “Rat Park,” a study published in 1980 by Bruce K. Alexander that highlighted the quality of our social lives — or lack thereof — as the main root of addiction. While my career makes me a bit biased in the belief that your relationships are the most important factor in your life (other than your body still functioning at a relatively healthy level), I fortunately have decades of scientific evidence to back me up.

    My own personal hypothesis after working as a dating coach for over ten years is that when a person feels lonely and wants a romantic connection to fill the emptiness in his life, what he’s really missing is intimacy with other human beings. It doesn’t matter how many surface-level romantic relationships they have, if you’re not developing true intimacy with others that emptiness will always persist.

    Intimacy isn’t solely determined by the amount of time spent with another person, but also by the quality of that time. Intimacy blossoms when people open themselves up and share things that make them feel uncomfortable. Conversations in which you share the things of which you’re most ashamed with people you trust are great for this, but you open yourself up with someone else when you’re simply having a great time enjoying their company. It’s important to have both in your life.

    Don’t feel like there’s anyone you can trust with your deepest secrets? Again, paying a professional to listen to those things in a secure setting, otherwise known as therapy, is a common first step. The more we keep those things to ourselves though, the more it reinforces the idea that we’re unlovable and unworthy of closeness to others. The more we share these things and see that we won’t be pushed away, the more we feel as though we do deserve deeper connections with others.

    ***
    These four elements make up a complete man, a complete human being. They are all of equal priority. If one suffers, they all suffer. Often when you’re feeling “empty,” scrambling to find something superficial to fill that void, it’s because one or more of these aspects has been neglected. Take this moment right now to give yourself a self-evaluation. What areas do you over-prioritize, what areas are you lacking. By finding balance in these facets, we can reach our fullest potential in all of them and truly live the life we were meant to live.
    ————————————
    Principle 14: Social Skills Are a Major Part of Your Happiness, But They’re Not Enough

    End Quote.

    Note I’m not a big fan of Yoga (my daughter is a yoga instructor, but I get my spirituality from other sources) nor of Intimacy (but I’ve had my share of that) I just don’t think it is a big necessity, especially for Red Pill. I am a big fan of The Anna Karenina Principle, though, which is what that Nick Sparks chapter was about.

    This is not meant to be criticism of Hank even if I’m terribly judgmental and have little empathy and score super low on Agreeableness. It’s merely a attempt to point out certain features not to have to those following along at home.

  50. @Culum Struan

    I thought you might appreciate the 15th chapter in that book:

    Very Glengarry Glen Ross….

    Quote:

    CHAPTER 15

    The Last (And Most Important) Lesson

    Most of the time after a coaching program, my alums go on to live happy social and dating lives and I don’t hear much from them except pictures and stories of their girlfriends, invites to their weddings, or when they choose to pay what they’ve learned forward and help guys who were in the same place they used to be. 

    Sometimes though, a guy requires a bit of follow-up coaching (which I’m always more than happy to provide) in order to get them to that place. What I’ve found is that there is one main difference between the guys who have immediate success and the guys who need to work at it a bit longer, and if you take one thing away from this book it should be this:

    The clients who quickly go onto live the social and dating lives of their dreams look at everything I’ve taught them — everything you’ve learned in this book — as a way to improve themselves and their relationships with everyone they come into contact with. The guys who still struggle a bit look at this very same information as a way to get some positive validation from a woman they’re attracted to or put their success or failure on how single they are at that moment. They see a woman they’re attracted to and apply everything they’ve learned to attempt to get her to like him, to get a positive reaction from her, to get her phone number, to hook up with her, to get her into a relationship — and they base their opinion of themselves on their ability to do so. 

    You can always tell if a salesperson is more worried about their commission check than providing you excellent service. Even if they say all the right things, they give off this desperate, needy vibe that makes you feel a little disgusting inside.

    Women are experts at knowing if a man is approaching her with something jumping around in the back of his head, even if he says all the right things. She might talk to the guy because she’s bored, give her number out to be polite, or even hook up with the guy because she just wanted to get laid. The guy will then pat himself on the back for his seductive skills, but when she never meets up with him for a date it’s because she felt that same disgust inside.

    There’s few things that are a bigger turnoff to women than guys who are out at the bar desperately prowling for affection. At the same time, there are few things women in a social situation find more attractive than guys who are genuinely enjoying their friends’ company and the company of those around them. If you’re desperately searching for a partner, you’ll scare away anyone who catches a whiff of that desperation. It’s when you focus on becoming the best person you can be that someone amazing will come along.

    The guy who gets nervous and falls into the rut of trying to achieve a particular outcome isn’t trying to be manipulative, of course. We’ve been raised in a culture that tells us over and over again that our value as men is at least partially dependent on our ability to attract a woman and that ultimate happiness comes from finding a partner. Many of us have had negative experience with women growing up — or recently — that have left us with bleeding insecurities when it comes to them. Expressing and experiencing our sexuality and intimacy in general is a natural part of life. When that part of ourselves is starved it can be extremely difficult not to get nervous and fall into ruts.

    Additionally, according to neuroscience, it’s far more ingrained than that. When an environmental stimulus such as meeting new people causes feelings to arise in your body, these feelings send signals to the brain, beginning in the sensory cortex near the back of your brain, and from there head first to the limbic system — the parts of your brain that regulate a wide range of processes including emotion, fear, memory, pleasure, and muscle behavior. It’s not until moments later that these signals reach the part of your brain that deals with reasoning and critical thinking! For someone trying to stay present and not jump into his head, this is the worst possible combination. Within the first moments of noticing another person, you immediately assess, based on past experiences, how a potential interaction with that person might go. If they remind us of someone who hurt us, the amygdala is triggered and the feeling that washes over us is fear. If we determine that the person has the potential to bring us happiness, whatever that looks like for us, the nucleus accumbens (our brain’s pleasure center) fires and our brain is flooded with dopamine. Suddenly, this person is the source of all happiness for us in the world (and then we probably worry about messing it up based on past experiences). The entire time, our heart rate, muscle behavior, and balance are all being affected by this rush of neurotransmitters.

    It’s literally impossible not to respond this way if you’re a human being with a brain similar to 99.9% of the rest of us. The difference though, between the guys who are happy and the guys who still struggle, is how quickly these thoughts/feelings are processed by the frontal lobe, the home of higher-level reasoning. The frontal lobe gives us the ability to take all of the available input — and make the best overall decision.

    It typically takes about twice as long for information to reach the frontal lobe from the sensory cortex compared to the limbic system. For some of us, this process can take a lot longer. We get overwhelmed by the reactions from these other parts of the brain and our thoughts flee to the well worn neural pathways of dismissing these feelings/running away, obsessing over how great it would be to have this other person in your life to some capacity, or compulsively trying make that happen.  Our bodies send off all of these signals, and the idea that we’re unattractive is reinforced.

    The good news is that these old neural pathways can be rewired. Science has shown that as we practice new habits, our brain physically changes by creating new neural pathways and weakening the less used ones. These new paths will become faster and more automatic to us the more we use them, and the less those old paths are used, the less likely you’ll be to fall into them for longer periods of time.

    When  you encounter someone who unleashes a flood of chemicals in your brain, you can acknowledge that you feel afraid, or turned on. You can acknowledge that your brain is doing that typical brain thing where it either makes excuses for why you should run or realizing the potential “reward” there and getting over-excited about how to achieve it. With full consciousness of these things you can then say, “I realize I’m having these thoughts and feelings and they’re perfectly normal and natural, the more I embrace these feelings, the more I’ll probably enjoy this interaction. I also know that lingering on the thoughts created by these feelings won’t do me any good, so I’ll let them go and bring my attention back to enjoying connecting with this person in the moment.” In other words, by practicing awareness and staying in the moment, you will teach your brain to create a “shortcut” whereby your frontal lobe will be able to react much faster to whatever is causing your limbic system to go haywire.

    When you’re “on”, socially, whether it be for a night or a few weeks, it’s because your brain started making this connection to the frontal lobe more quickly for some reason. You had all of the same thoughts you always do: “wow, she’s pretty, I would like to be very close to her, her body looks amazing in that dress, I wonder if she’s like me, I wonder if there’s anything I can do to make her like me more.” The times you’re in the zone though, you don’t linger on the thoughts, you don’t really care about them as much as enjoying the moment as much as possible and feeling all of the feelings that might potentially come up.

    For most of your lives, this frontal lobe shortcut happened subconsciously. When it stops happening the next morning a few weeks later, guys will scramble to get it back, wondering what they were saying or what they were doing, looking for the answer in all the places they’re least likely to find it. Now that we are conscious of this process we can develop this superhighway to the frontal lobe with everyone we come into contact with. The more people respond positively to us as we do, the stronger and more automatic this neural pathway becomes, and the faster your old ruts disappear as the neural pathways that fed them shrink. You’ll still have points in your life where you fall into them, this is natural, but the more you build up this new pathway the easier it is to stay on course and be “on” all the time.

    As you try to improve at this when you encounter someone who intimidates you, you’ll naturally fall back into your old ruts. This “failure” can be discouraging, but it’s no different than Michael Jordan and Lebron James struggling in their first several trips to the playoffs. The first times we attempt something difficult in an environment that already makes us nervous, the more difficult it will be not to fall into a rut and choke. The more we practice the fundamentals — in their case dribbling, shooting, and keeping your eye on the ball, in ours, holding space, enjoying others’ company, and expressing our sexuality without anxiety or agenda — in situations that aren’t as intimidating, the better shot we’ll have of doing it when our heart is beating out of our chest. The first several times we attempt to put our best selves forward in those tough situations, just like those star athletes, we’ll probably choke. As they did though, you can see this situation as an opportunity to become aware of how your ruts affect you in these circumstances and learn to do everything you’ve practiced while embracing them.

    It’s also much easier not to fall into the rut of trying to control the outcome when we remember that her response isn’t personal. We often desire a positive response from that person to whom we’re attracted because we feel that our own value, at least in part, depends on their response to us. It’s not that she wasn’t in the mood to talk at that moment, it’s that she thought I was weird. It’s not that she didn’t like the smell of my sweat, that she wasn’t in a sexual mood at the moment, or that I wasn’t comfortable expressing my own sexuality — it’s that I’m an unattractive person. This just reaffirms everything I learned about myself in middle school.

    If someone is attracted to you, it’s because you put yourself out there, they were in the mood to socialize at that moment, they liked the smell of your sweat (and all the other little biological factors that are subconsciously communicated), and neither of you sabotaged the natural process of connection with one of the many ruts highlighted in this book. If someone’s not attracted to you or doesn’t respond to you with warmth, it might be because one of your ruts spoiled the interaction (and you received an excellent learning experience because you put yourself out there). Or it might be they simply weren’t in the mood to talk, they had a boyfriend, or there was some other reason that had nothing to do with you. The guys I coach who go on to live happy and fulfilling social and dating lives don’t worry about the response when they say “hi,” to a stranger, they simply do their best to stay as present with their feelings as possible while expressing them, avoid their own ruts, and enjoy the moment however it ends up.

    The secret to being an attractive person is to not try to attract people. Attraction is a force of nature, not a force of will. Deeper attraction will naturally happen if you start conversations with your only goal being to express your feelings in the moment while feeling where the other person is at, have conversations with the goal of enjoying them and building intimacy, and flirt with the goal of enjoying the beautiful, God-given feelings of sexuality. Keep working on your ability to do so in all interactions, and become more aware of how you deviate when you care most about the interaction, and you can overcome this rut as well.

    Getting laid is easy. Being happy is a practice. Practice connecting with others every day, everywhere you go, while being vulnerable with your feelings, and it won’t be long before you’re living the social and dating life you’ve always dreamed of.
    ———————————–
    Principle 15: Don’t Try to Attract Someone, Focus on Becoming Your Most Attractive Self

  51. You need to have blood drawn and sent to a lab where they will test for Free Testosterone as well as Total Testosterone. High total numbers are fine, but high Free Test is greater. ” Free ” test exerts the influences that testosterone is known for ( Notorious for? ).

    For me, ideally, I also am starting to get estrogen levels monitored because the aromatization of testosterone into estrogen is a problem for older gentlemen. The test when used for men have drawbacks, according to my endo, and may not be that accurate. Zfg as I’m just monitoring detectable movement in the wrong direction before I grow bitch tits and start crying at chick flicks.

    Keep in mind that what the medical establishment considers ” Low Normal ” for men is woefully low. Levels of 275-300 ng/dl isn’t where you want to be.

    The links J posted up re: artofmanliness has some decent information that all men should be aware of and use as a starting point. Xenoestrogens are fucking us up, as is the insane instruction to cut fats and meats and to eat more grains and shit.

    I start my day every morning with bacon/sausage and eggs. I eat no more than 50 grams of carbs a day, usually less ( except on vacation. I beast on carbs on vacation ). I eat lots of butter ( NOT MARGIRINE!!!! DO NOT EAT THAT ), I don’t trim fat from steak or take skin off of chicken, and I’ll consume a few tablespoons of olive and coconut oil 4-5 days a week. My test levels swing a bit between 1100-1400, although lately they average closer to 1100. I attribute this to my not lifting heavy enough because of a nagging injury, and engaging in a lot more cardio to regularly get my heart rate up.

    Imo, guys need to take this stuff more seriously as we have so much environmental stuff trying to fuck us over, even while we are in the womb.

  52. Wait, Blax your total test (not free) is 1100-1400??

    Isn’t that off the charts sky high insane? I had my total test tested (lol) a couple years ago aged 35 and it came out to around 1150-1200 I think, and I remember thinking WTF because all the online “healthy ranges” have a normal range at 250-950 (or thereabouts).

    1400 in your mid 50s without TRT etc seems insanely high (not doubting you, just saying it’s incredible you manage it).

    @rest of guys – I take your points – more detailed reply probably tomorrow. I clearly do need a more focussed plan as @IRL points out.

  53. IRL

    Interesting points.

    This

    “This is exactly what betas feel when they interact with girls matching their perceived SMV ”

    missing you here, seems betas feel raw terror more than lack of urgency.

    I’ve done enough SNL game to be sure I register as a sex option and all of that sex has been very dominant.

    I just need to avoid slipping into “enjoying the moment” and sexualize earlier when I’m in one of these moods… And leave the moments to after… But that changes the game from SNL game to multi day game. I’m betwixt and between… Rats!

    “What’s wrong with them, huh?”

    Re 7s… Nothing. But have become very predictable, like Culums online meets…

    “Like… I don’t know… a pedestal? lol”

    Hmmm. Ponder that but don’t think so. Don’t let my descriptions in FRs fool you to that degree. Maybe more some latent validation, like having a cool fast classic car.

    Gteat pic!

  54. Oscar

    Lolz… Dropped the Orgasmologist line a little while ago…

    Boarding flight… I travel light so usually wait to the end to get on. There is an old couple ahead of me giving their ticket to the attendant… Then me, then a hot 8.x (5′ 9″ D cups skinny waist….tight jeans heels hair etc. Crazy body probs 32 though based on later comments)…  The attendant tells the old guy he can bring his bag onboard he doesn’t have to check it. I give her shit for saving special room for this guy’s bag while I checked mine. She is a cute black 6… She says ” ohhhh… Well I have to give you a big (state) hug then” and comes over 4 feet and gives me a big hug and holds me for 5 to 10 seconds… I tease her about not solving anything with love.

    Then the 8 checks through and I stop her and say “I guess you want to give me a big (state) hug then too…” And open my arms… She laughs and says I’m a stranger she doesnt hug strangers, but is bright eyed.  I say you’re from (state) though (cold read)? She says yes lolling .  I roll off a little like damn, “your grandad ain’t proud, shameful”.  She laughs… Put my hand out and she shuffles all her bags around to shake it.

    So now we are on the walkway to the plane, in line and bantering.  She is laughing.  Then the older guy must be 65, sticks his nose in to talk to her while his wife looks on.  He makes some comment about ” watch this guy” and she says “I know I have a live one here” lol.  So whenever a fucking white knight butts in I know there is a spark people can see…

    I ask her if that is her Dad… she lols. Some more banter regarding flight. She says she is going to some academic conference. I tease her about that being so boring. She qualifies about it blah blah blah. I cut her off Boring…  I ask her how many days it is, she says one.  I say because people literally died of boredom on the second day in the past they cut it back to non lethal levels… She laughs.  Bunch of kino to her shoulder and arm, close proximity.  Old guy jumps in on her conference.  She is blah blah to him. I whisper in her ear ” oh he totally likes you” and she laughs while talking to the guy.

    Shuffle forward… She asks what I do.  “I’m a teacher”  she gives me a c’mon look.  I say “I’m a gym teacher… Fitness is very important”.  I say did you take PE in high school, she says yeah.  Then I cold read her… “bullshit.  You were a cheerleader who waived out” and she dies… Spot on. She admits.  Then I wag my finger at her while kinoing her arm ” that’s the problem with PE today… All you skinny girls waiving out and I am left with fucking fat chicks and then everybody thinks PE is a waste and doesn’t work.. Not cool..”  More lolling. omg’ing…

    She circles back. What do you do really?  I say “c’mon show me you got something else going on here… Use that brain of yours.  I nailed you in five seconds” laser… She says ” uh… Lawyer”… I say close “I’m a doctor ” and roll off.  She says ” oh what kind” bright eyed, lol…  I deadpan “Orgasmology”.  She is quizzical… ” oh what is that exactly” I’m choking back laughing and have to think quick “it’s the discipline of releasing healing energy by manipulation of the gynecological area” moving my hands down there… She is blank…  ” so like a chiropractor?” Confused look.. “close… More like an orgasmologist” and hit the O a little harder… ” ahhh” She said.  Light going off… Lolling.  “I’m ok there” she says playfully laughing.  I sternly admonish her ” self practice outside of a clinical setting is frowned upon and can have adverse consequences” some lasering… She lols… “I haven’t lost a patient yet”.

    We get on the plane. Some more kino as she is in front of me and we go down the aisle.  She mentions she has two young kids which I interpret as a warning “I’m taken” (also has a huge rock on) and as a “tell me I’ve still got it plea” good sign overall…  Filling those gaps of doubt is a good way to close…

    I ask where she is staying and she tells me.  I tell her this is my seat but we can continue later.

    For me this is just a good warm up fun thing to set the state for later.  Little expectation this continues post flight.  But a good chance to test the orgasmologist routine.

    [Later]

    So post flight I am going to get my bag at the carousel and she is next to me. I ask her if she had terrible smells on the flight… Then she starts with ” well what did you say you did again”. I say “I didn’t”… She says ” well really what is you do” so I tease her with “well well look who is all into my business”… She laughs and a hint of a blush… I tell her. Some more chit chat… Cold read her on a marketing degree… She qualifies with “and finance”… Some good stuff tease her about work, more cold reads, where she went to school etc. Some teasing negs. Says her name is Crystal and so say “omg for real? Lol. Crystal the chearleader…” more kino. My bag comes. I get it. She had told me she is meeting some work folks at her hotel…

    I rush it here and say “well give me your number, we’ll grab a drink” she smiles and shakes her head slowly no with a “you’re trouble” look.. Says she will be too busy… Oh well I say… Goodbyes. This was 10 minutes total time. Wished this was a bar…

    Next.

  55. @ J

    Good link.

    @ Culum

    I’ve talked about it here before a while ago. I had to switch endos because my guy retired, and I got a sexy chick in his place. I’d run bloodwork, mainly for Thyroid levels, Test and cholesterol. Some odd shit had been going on with my thyroid briefly, and I decided to keep a bunch of hormones monitored for my own piece of mind, and I was fascinated by how much of what goes on in our body we have control over.

    Anyway, my initial bloodwork with my new doc years ago came in at 1400 and something for test. her initial response was to lecture me on the dangers of using steroids, lol. I had a hell of a time convincing her to reference my previous tests and then to make her understand that I wasn’t juicing. She freaked out and said the levels were way too high, especially considering my age ( I was around 52 at the time I think ) and she wanted to maybe have me have my pituitary gland checked via MRI. I declined.

    We had some very interesting discussions. It’s amazing what some trained professionals believe/ are taught. An endo should know better. She gave me the standard spiel about increased chances for prostate cancer and heart attack ( !!!! ). I asked her why when boys go into puberty they aren’t besieged by prostate cancer and heart attacks, lol.

    My free test stays pretty steady between 20-25 ng/dl, and SBGH always registers as ” low ” on the tests. I don’t know what they consider normal. My last bloodwork back in april had my cholesterol pegged at 100 even. And that’s with bacon and eggs and fats and oils daily.

    But the numbers are beginning to trend downwards. I attribute this to no longer lifting significantly heavy poundage. For my buck, it makes a difference. Plus I’ve dropped very close to 30 pounds since January. I’m trying to get under 200 pounds for the first time in 25 years. That’s effecting the test also.

    Fwiw, I have more energy than I know what to do with and I feel turbocharged all day long. I like it like this and I’d like to keep it going as long as I can.

    And from what I can tell, my sex drive/libido has not really changed since I was in my 20’s. Yes, I am a certified horndog and I’m okay with that. Lol. It’s just that I’ve learned to better control myself over the years. Still, put females around me and I start to feel something I can only describe as ” hunger “. Body-wide hunger. Shit, I like that too.

    The link J provided to theartofmanliness articles has some great info for every man. I’m a stickler about getting proper rest, especially as I get ” older ” . Good, quality sleep, uninterrupted.
    I quit smoking a long time ago, I don’t drink regularly and I try to eat as fresh and hormone free as is reasonable.

    But I would imaging that my situ is mostly genetic. I’m a runt comparatively, but I come from a long line of bodybuilder sized dudes that never even saw the inside of a gym. Even though I was a bean pole early in life, I always wondered what my potential could be because I always felt good and strong.

    So I always tell dudes to get the numbers checked, and learn what you can do to increase them naturally. And if guys decide to use a needle ( don’t bother with creams and gels ), I don’t feel any kind of way about that. Whatever you feel is right for you.

    Bottom line is to feel as good as you can as a male.

  56. @Sentient
    My break down

    @The Blacker Pill

    1. Go out on Saturday with a crew, end up at a bar. I’m in good form, work every group of single women there. I was in a pretty good mood and not very focused on outcome, there were some girls in our group, and we were out on the piss, so I was just having fun.

    Good start off to the night.Gets you in state. You have social proof. You’re not committed to girls in the group

    2. During the course of the evening I start chatting to one of the hired guns. I have seen her there before, HB10, seemed quite aloof and must be hit on constantly. But tonight she wants to chat to me. We talk for a while, I’m not even really trying to game her, and then towards the end of the evening I say to her ‘I’d like to continue this conversation, but asking for phone numbers is so unoriginal.’ She then goes ‘I want you to be unoriginal’. My phone is dead, so she writes her number on a till slip.

    – Use of HB10 – bad sign – If she was a real 10, she’d be a Victoria’s secret model. Or at least not working for money. Objective real world 10’s (perfection to the majority of eyes) get money thrown at them, they don’t work per se, they appear and are showered with dollars. Just being in that girl’s “presence” is a present. Unless the chick is 19 and living in Kansas, and is an undiscovered model – shot girls and strippers have to basically shake it to get dollars.

    – Hired Gun that’s chatting – usually a bad sign objectively. Her job is to schmooze to make money off of you. You’re the john, she’s the whore.

    – The real question is what sort of work were *you* doing here during the chatting? Just shooting the shit while she’s working? All you’re doing is providing entertainment. Did you get her logistics while playing getting to know you? Were you moving the ball forward in terms of fucking?

    – “must be hit on constantly” – when a guy says this, bad sign about how he thinks about he chicks

    3. These days I try avoid number closing because it so often goes nowhere, and instead push for a kiss close or more on the night, so I ask her what she’s doing after work. She tells me she needs to do something the following morning (can’t remember what). I say alright, and then tell her I am not into texting, let’s just do something next week, how about hitting Adventureland (cheesy but fun mini golf place that’s so hard it’s just an excuse to drink and walk around a fake jungle). She’s like ‘I suck at golf’, so I say ‘don’t worry I’ll think of something.’

    – Your number closes go nowhere because you don’t know how to engage chicks when you’re not physically in front of them. You aren’t doing what is necessary when you get the # to continue the feelings when she’s at home in her pajamas picking lice out of her cooter.

    – I don’t know about kiss closes with girls like this, ever. The problem with the kiss close with a chick that’s basically selling sexuality (that’s what FEMALE bartenders and waitresses sell), is that you give them the climax they’re looking for, and they’re satisfied.

    – Getting her logistics AT THE END of the interaction? Do that in the 1st 5 minutes. If you had known that she was gonna take her Grandma to church in the morning, that’s one thing. Chances are she was gonna do some less vital bullshit. You could have been working on undermining whatever that was the entire night. You could then say “We’re just gonna do…maybe make out…i’ll send you on your way….I have to be up in the morning because that’s when the Nikkei opens.”

    – She stresses that she has to do something in the morning – is suggestive. I might have ran with that, because she’s implying you’re going to keep her up. That’s a style choice. But the key here is to engage her on all fronts. Verbally, Non-Verbally, Visually, through your social proof. Leave no avenue untapped.

    – TRYING TO BIND HER TO SOME DATE IN THE FUTURE – If she’s a 10, and she’s getting hit on constantly per your description, why would she agree to something like this? Rookie mistake. I know the RSD guys/Mystery Method says you need to get some buy in BEFORE you take a #. But that’s not what you did here, and the context suggests that it would not work.

    Plus if this chick is as hot as you say she is, something will invariably come up next Friday/Tuesday/Arbor day that will be more exciting than whatever Hot Air Balloon Heist that you proposed 3 days earlier.

    Do you know why #’s fail? #’s fail because she wants to fuck the shit out of you when she gives you the #.

    But when she doesn’t see you, smell you, hear your voice in the ensuing days, that urge to merge DIES. All she has left of you is some intellectual construct. You don’t want the chick to start using logic if she’s deciding whether or not to hang. (not that she ever will) Because rationally, it makes no sense. She has a bigger and more reliable dick in her contacts as well as her Tinder inbox.

    Now you can build a “time bridge” through text/images/voice – because those things can bring her into that emotional space that she was in when she met you. But trying to clever your way into something that wasn’t there to begin with…that’s why your #’s fail.

    4. send her a ‘hi’ message….She replies back the next morning with a ‘Hi :)’ and then a lol emojie at my chat profile pic.

    – So you’re texting but not into texting? Which one is it?

    – I see that you’re trying to open the lines of communication, but from jump it’s half-assed. It’s half assed because you don’t have a clear plan, or know how to engage the chick over text.

    – Anagrams? For real my G? Why not send her a rebus? Maybe a haiku. In terms of game here, you text a weird question that most normal girls would not understand unless they do Jumble or play newspaper scrabble or a literature majors. And it’s a wasted opportunity to get her emotionally engaged.

    What you send instead is a meme
    Or you make a cold read about her
    Or you use call back humor from a previous convo
    Or you tell her a short but new punchy joke
    Or a short story with a crazy ending

    “You won’t believe what happened after we left the bar last night….”

    5. why don’t we do quiz night or go take a walk at place x with my dog, he’s a laugh’.

    – Come hang with me and my dog? Engage in some nerd activity? This was a hired gun from a bar right? What exactly did you guys talk about to make you think she wanted to do some low-energy activity? Was she an undercover nerd? Was there something missing from your break down? Why would this be appealing to a 10? Because you’re there? If she wanted you for real, she would have dropped whatever she was doing that night and fucked you. She would have made it easy.

    6. I found this one pretty frustrating, because she showed attraction, she got me to take her number, she answered me, I’d already groomed her to know that I didn’t like chatting, that I wanted an action date, she is single, we had a good conversation flow.

    – Seems to me like you fumbled the pussy from the beginning by not having a clear road map on how to take mild interest at 11:00 PM to raw anal @ 3:12am.

    – Then you laid down the law that you don’t text, but went back on what you told her by texting.

    – And you then offered a “HB10” an evening of trivia with you and your pup.

    I don’t know if all is lost – but the way to play come at this chick now – is to just meet her again in the same circumstance – and LET HER COME TO YOU. Respark the attraction, get her logistics, and then destroy whatever bullshit she has to do the next day, to come hang with you that night. If you need to “alpha” that shit, pick her up the next day and do something actually cool. Shoot guns or something.

    Your draw for that night can’t be some bullshit. It has to be better/more exciting than whatever shit she’s doing right then and there.

    I’m not trying to be harsh, even if it comes off that way. But like literally, this was “red pill” dating, not GAME. Game means you’re applying psychology to the situation, using strategy, and taking advantage of her natural weaknesses.

    I don’t see any of that. You’re probably a decent looking guy with a good group of friends, and this chick just likes you “naturally”.

    But you don’t want to use all the tech out there to turn that spark into a flame. You just want hard ass your way into her vagina. Literally no attempt was made to understand where this broad is coming from, or how women operate. It was just, I don’t text. You like weird stuff. Come hang out with me and my dog.

    Use some game. Start thinking about strategy.

  57. @WIA

    “Do you know why #’s fail? #’s fail because she wants to fuck the shit out of you when she gives you the #.”

    +100

    Damn. That breakdown was bad fucking ass man. Good shit.

  58. @Blax

    Firstly, I was only saying Sentient sucks at teaching.

    There are really no excuses, ” newb ” included. How badly do you want it?

    Well that’s it exactly. I spent the bulk of my twenties wanting to kill myself because there was nothing I enjoyed in life, and there was no point in living. I have no idea how I got through all that. Only gradually have I begun to find things I actually enjoy. The main thing is that I grew up in a very isolated spot, of all local white people. My main enjoyment in life is seeing new cultures, people, languages and jumping around in groups and introducing people to one another. But that didn’t exist anywhere near where I lived, so I didn’t even KNOW that I liked that until very recently, and I had no one to talk to try and figure those things out.

    And girls were completely out of the question. I didn’t think I ever would date anyone, and I’d be single my whole life. I had a few girls that I now know were DTF, but because I had no experience with girls I didn’t know how to deal with it, and the girls eventually gave up. That made me think “All those girls that seemed to like me, never actually did. The flirting they were doing that I though meant she liked me, actually meant she didn’t like me.”

    Essentially, I learned to see IOIs as IODs — that whenever a girl was flirting or interested in me, that it actually meant she didn’t like me. Its taken a long time to flip that around, and I still have some trouble with that.

    So yeah, if you start out early in life and you’re like “Oh wow, football is AMAZING” and so you get in football and follow it and its your passion in life and then there are all these girls you like and so you date a shit ton and then you find this awesome career — shits easy. You can go through all kinds of shit, and its fine because…man, you’ve got all this stuff you love doing.

    In my case, I don’t have and haven’t had anything to really look forward to in years. Its just been a years long slog. So, yeah, it’d be nice to get this stuff fixed, but I have all these instances of shit not working, or health issues cropping up, that its like…you know, it probably wont work out. I should probably just give up. I was really meant to kill myself anyway — the fact I made it this long was just a fluke. Why suffer through this any longer?

    That’s why when you say things like: “Personally, I don’t understand your mindset about all of this. I HATE going without sex and I refuse to have any fucking droughts.”

    Well, yeah, you got laid at like 13 right? And were banging coworkers and your boss? As soon as you liked girls, you were already having sex. Its as natural to you as walking. And you’re posting all this shit about drag racing and all this crazy shit. You had things figured out early.

    I’ve had to work forever just to find things worth living for, and its been a fucking nightmare grinding through all that shit through the years and having no one to talk to, no idea of where even to start to look for what to do for a career or for health or just plain for FUN, and having nothing to motivate me to work to find something — which I could only do in short bursts. And I still struggle with suicide fairly often.

    Maybe one day YaReally will come back. But riddle me this, with all of his walls of text on your behalf, why did you still have such a hard time of it? What is it that you believe will magically change if YaReally came back tomorrow, besides his insistence that everyone be mindful of what they say around the newbs?

    What yareally had was perspective. He said, repeatedly, that I could do more and make quicker improvement. However, he also acknowledged that I was working from a difficult position of working in a place with poor/few venues, in a place with few girls I like, and always going out solo. He noted that in my position, most guys would simply not go out at all and wait to go to a different city. I, however, was at least going out and trying.

    So he knew I wasn’t progressing quickly, but he could see how I was making all these small improvements in my game and was almost always doing something new each time I went out. I was learning skills that would give me a solid foundation. He would point out “You know Hank, you could have done more here, try this next time.” but he’d also note “See that was good. That girl was very much into you here. Remember how she did that thing after you teased her? Do you think a girl who didn’t like you would do that. Or later when she said this?”

    Then I’d go, “Wow, actually maybe I can do this. I felt kind of bad about going out then, but I can see how, yeah, that actually did get some interest in the girl.”

    So then I’d go slogging out through the mall or at the bars because I had those references of “yeah, I can do that.” And I can’t emphasize how much those FRs helped and still help me.

    It was never babying, it was a trove of nuanced, lucid, inspiring information. Want to know why she did that? Well here’s why. Ohhh that seemed bad right? Well it was lol, but here’s the silver lining….

    And I could be like “Oh, yeah that makes sense. Yeah, that was pretty good there, I can push further next time.”

    All of it just reads like a wall of text to you, because you don’t need it. All this stuff is obvious to you. However, I do need it.

    I didn’t make progress as far as getting laid, but I did all kinds of new things when he was commenting. I pulled that asian from the bookstore only a few minutes in the interaction, walked her through a long pitch black parking lot to the restaurant, had a solid interaction with her there, overcame her resistance to holding her hand and held it — not bad for a first date ever lol. I did tons of daygame and was doing more approaches and getting bigger reactions than even Culum does now. I sat down next to girls alone at the cafe and chatted with them a bit and went for numbers. Heck, I even just up and sat down at a table with a girl wearing headphones and just started chatting with her.

    You look at that and are like…that’s it? That’s high school shit! But yareally could see that I was making progress in all these areas, of pushing myself and trying new things that most guys would never do — how many guys are going to just up and sit down next to a girl wearing headphones? There are guys with high notch counts that’d be scared to do something like that. So yeah, it was slow, but I was still gradually building up those skills and experiences so that once I got my health/location settled, I could take off.

    What fucked me over was in January when my health tanked. That was when I had that awesome day with the black group, opening all those sets, and getting that DTF girl. However, I had all these new health issues come up around then, and one embarrassing symptom I thought I had solved came back. That’s why I ditched the girl.

    It took until well into the summer to make much progress on just these **new** issues, even after going to the doctor and taking all kinds of medicines. They aren’t solved even now, but reduced. So I didn’t really get back unto game until June/July.

    Now, if he were to come back, he would help out enormously. Because he can make note of several things at once, unlike most of you guys here.

    The infamous “nigger” FR, for instance. He’d know right away what I meant by that. It’s super fucking obvious that I’m not racist. He’d have read what no one else seems to have, where I talked about the skinhead at the end and how I SPECIFICALLY mentioned that most black guys weren’t like the asshole black dude…and how the skinhead’s comment of “Niggers and spicks are all the same man.” freaked me out and he was a scary dude and I left him as soon as I could.

    He’d have said something like “Yeah, there are shitheads like that. But think about it…how many of these guys have you honestly run into? Just these two? That’s not many. So keep that in mind.

    Next, I know what you meant by nigger, but try not to use that since other people might not get what you are saying, or understand that a FR is just a dump of raw experiences, and not a PC uber polished manifesto.

    Good first attempt on dealing with the black dude. You didn’t win that interaction, but you did stand your ground and keep to your original line-in-the-sand of not leaving until you finished your story. Notice, however, how the girls didn’t care that you were talking to them. Next time that happens, just keep talking to the girls and ignore the guy — he can’t really do anything if all the girls like you. Here’s an RSD video on how how to deal with AMOGs like that.

    Now, the good stuff…” and then he’d have gone on breaking down the interactions I had with the black girl (noting how I sexualized the cockney bit) and the white waitress and noting where I was doing well, where I dropped the ball, and what I can do next time.

    Instead from you guys…I **only** got how I was a racist, and sentient saying I should have up and got in a fight with the black dude…lol…and no mention of any of the other *****3 hours***** I was out that night.

    You think that’s gonna motivate me to go out? Fuck no, and it got in my head and I didn’t approach black people for a few weeks after it because of that. But a simple, impartial breakdown of the WHOLE night would have. The only thing that needed to be said about my “racist language” was a short addendum of “please don’t say nigger here, thanks”

    Then you have my most recent FR — a solid 8 hours out. I was pulling girls attention from their dates — Yareally would have gone in detail of what I was doing right, where I got the German girls’ date to get pissed, and how I can prevent that next time, and he would have noted how I can pull girls from their date and posted a RSD video or 12 on how to do that.

    He would have focused a lot on the lesbian girl interaction, would have shown all the places I could have pulled one of the girls but also noted how I did a great job spiking the girls and merging sets — buuuut also noted I don’t need to do anywhere NEAR that much to get “a” girl, but how those social skills will kill it at a club when I need to build social proof fast (again, looking to the future). He would have shown how next time to look for these places to pull one of the girls.

    He would have gone over the work guy I met, and talked about how I can use him as a wingman, and what to expect out of that.

    Fuck that’s awesome. It wasn’t getting laid, but it was several new things I did, plus useful long term skills I was working on…and what I would have had to do *do* get laid is only a small thing here or there. Progress here, many things I could learn, lots of things to motivate me and boost my confidence.

    Basically, Yareally had a more nuanced approach where he could take into account many things, whereas you guys tend to take any time out that doesn’t involve getting laid as a failure. Whereas he could see how I was developing new skills, gradually getting more confident, and working on other areas of my life like figuring out where I would want to move to, finding new people to hang out with, etc. So once I did finally stair step up to getting laid, and sexuality became something I had personal experience with, then I could rapidly take off while also having balance in other areas of my life. Point is though, even if progress was slow, it was still progress, and it was better than not trying at all.

    And…now you are actually telling me to stop…to not go out and even try until my health is better…

    ok…?

    I think I’ll keep at it, even if I am only improving by small amounts each time out.

  59. West Indian Archie

    “She would have made it easy.”

    cold and welcome truth…

    Thanks

    Update on Airport 8… Somehow she figured out my last name and from the limited info I gave her hit me with a linked in request…

    Messaged her back ” hmmmmm. Somebody’s curious.”

  60. Phone sex with an ex is fun on the weekend, but as I’m quickly learning, it can become a buffer too. That’s why my Friday happy hour was a bust, but it was fun nonetheless cause of “Tip Game.”

    Go out to bar. Always pay as you go. After first drink, give the female bartender the following tip and she’ll be like a giddy little girl getting a puppy on her birthday. So amazing how chicks operate on a different plane. I gave two bartender girls the following tip on Friday and they each comped me. The one girl came up behind me and hugged me and told me she wasn’t leaving but only going on a break. I must have made an impression on her.

  61. Here’s another one I’d appreciate some insight on from a recent social event.

    A good friend of mine married a girl who has a sister 10 years younger than her. She is 16 years younger than me, but we met back in 2007 and there was instant chemistry. To the extent that her very conservative mom and dad picked up on it and started pushing us apart. We see each other about once every 2 years, but it’s always there.

    Yesterday she sees the new RP me for the first time at a family lunch, with 2 years of lifting behind me. She first pretends not to notice me, and I just ignore her, but go sit opposite her, about 12 feet away. I wait until lunch before I find her sitting alone to talk to her, and start my usual stuff “I heard you dropped out of college” and she immediately opens up and we have some good banter for a while then our thread gets lost in a group convo.

    I don’t push it, but she is just gorgeous, I know she has been single for a while, and I can’t help looking over at her great body every few minutes, and more than once I catch her looking at me when I do that. I don’t push this one, because her brother in law is one of my best friends and I don’t want to make waves there, but I am still interested obviously.

    Then an interesting thing happens, her mom, who always made me feel like she dislikes me, walks up to me and hands me an empty wine glass, and goes ‘please get me a refill’. Her daughter is standing off to the side, watching. The table with wine is about 12 feet behind this lady, and she is already on her feet while I am seated comfortably on a lounger.

    So I think ‘okay shit test’, so I take the glass and say ‘can I get you a waiter?’ or something similar, and then change the topic without standing up. She then mentions to me that I have lost a lot of weight. I tell her times have been tough. She says I look good, I used to be much ‘thicker’, I say I stopped eating to focus on my drinking. I tell her she also looks like she has lost weight. That stops her for a second, and then she says she just had an operation, and didn’t put it back on. I say that’s good, that makes it easier. My buddy then stands up next to me to get a refill for himself, so I hand him her glass and ask him if he can also fill her up.

    The cutie just stands and watches this whole thing.

    A bit later cutie gets ready to leave, she comes up to me to say goodbye, and leans down to hug me in my seat. There’s a split second where I don’t react, and she goes ‘oh’ and looks a bit annoyed/disappointed and stands back up before I can even react and walks over to the next guy, her brother in law. So I stand, say ‘don’t guilt trip me’ and she turns around, comes back to me and gives me a hug.

    This is pretty small and confined situation, but I’d like to understand it in terms of what happened with the mother. My take is mom came over to give me a shit test, and maybe wanted to knock me down in front of her daughter and stop that there. If that means that passing that test could potentially open this cutie up for me as a date prospect, that would be a big deal to me. Or was mom just coming in on her own attraction, and I can get with a 65 year old?

    Second thing is, there was a guy there who I have known for a while who I’ve had a difficult relationship with. Earlier that day I walked up to him and he also asked me for a refill. That also made me think ‘shit test’, although I don’t get them much from guys. In this case I was closer to the drinks, so I went off and poured some wine into a champagne glass and refilled my own drink. There was no audience this time, but I felt like it was a dominance display anyway, I just didn’t feel like creating something there by refusing.

    Any tips on getting tooled in situations like this? Like if you get a compliance request from a guy, what is a good comeback you can bring in without escalating or going along either?

  62. @blacker pill,

    Dude: “Hey blacker, can you get me a refill.”
    Blacker pill: “Haha! That’s a funny one, dude” and walk off as if you seriously thought he was joking.

  63. Blacker Pill

    “what is a good comeback you can bring in without escalating or going along either?”

    “I prefer not to” is a very very powerful frame. Magik 🌈

    Interesting mom dynamic – why not both possibilities?

    “Can you…” Is often how old ladies flirt though… Let go of the past. Sounds like you handled her splendidly.

    Speaking og tooling … I’m at this thing with a frenemy. We’ve competed over chicks in bars before and I took a girl off him and another guy in a very “in your face way” a few years ago, making out with her within 15 – 20 minutes or so after he said she is too tough etc. And giving him and thebother dude the thumbs up while making out with her… And they going “whoa! Shit” loudly etc.

    So since then, our paths cross a few times a year, he is always macking girls and if all fails will grab a pro. We have a good natured rivalry going now, since it’s usually either of us in sets…

    So a stunning girl outside out group shows up and grabs a seat at midnight. Wait whut? So hot and one set at near close…? I bust over asap. Stand next to her. She is heads down on her phone. She starts to put her phone away and look up and I open her with ” oh… I thought you were going to show me something?” And she is like wait what oh!!! I was checking football scores. So i neg her with please you don’t know anything about football and she gets all qualifying and shows me her fantasy teams scores blah blah. As hot girls often are she is kinoing me, locking eyes, making faces, giggling at my teasing etc. So good progress.

    Then Mr Dude rolls over… Like a dog seeing another dog eating a carcass. Now this guy is 6 4 and usually wears cowboy boots, and goes about 220. Not jacked but a big ex jock type. With a beard and a super deep loud voice and a fratty manner. He comes up next to me and says in my ear ” haha man. This isn’t for you” and then rolls over to her and introduces himself.

    She is all looking up at him smiley. I say ” yeay this is Mr Dude. He is totally married though. To a gay guy.” And pat his stomach while he is trying to run his gsme. So she is a little confused. He still tries. I go on… “i mean gay guys say he is super gay… So there is that”… Breaking in. She is off balance. Then a middle aged women comes past who knows this guy and and i pull her in set and say pointing to the hottie “no this isn’t his wife.” And to the middle aged woman “she doesn’t believe he is super gay”… So she plays along and hugs dude and tells him he is so gay. At them talking i turn back to hottie and start up my game again… And she is focused back on me, our backs are now to the other two and Dude wanders off.. I had some good stuff going, forget the deets but had her in a headlock at one point and doing the hair pull thing. Seemed like going ok. She keps talking about her friend meeting her though and sure enough that happens a few minutes later… Was her boyfriend. They are staying in the hotel together etc. So after alittle mutual conversatio. That dies.

    Later Dude comes up to me and points to the girl and her boyfriend and says “so what happened man?” I tell him the above. He laughs “oh well you gave it a shot” and then “Young folks in love what are you going to do” and we both laugh and have our drinks and catch up a bit.

  64. @Sentient

    Great story about the masterful AMOG. I need to try that.

    What are you always telling us…get logistics…why was girl there…waiting to meet her bf…she took your valuable time near the close

    I forgot a detail about last Sat. night…some guy asked me to dance so we danced a couple of steps, lol…initially I was averse, but I realized he was just building energy, so I went with it

  65. ASd

    Yeah i got logistics and they were perfect… She was staying at the same place I was. She never mentioned her “friend” was a dude though. Her Guy made things pretty clear though lol.

  66. @BP

    1) The Girl – you should have kept it surface level cordial, exchange contact information, and kept it moving.

    2) The Mom – it really depends on your game chops and what you have at stake. But you can call her out, without calling her out. Same thing you’d do with a cockblock at a bar.

    “Are you just trying to get my attention? You could just say hello you know”

    Just put the mom on tilt.

    You could also call her out, privately.

    I don’t see any point to this, because the sex with the daughter will be hotter if the mother disapproves.

    Now if mom had some F-Cups and a dirty mouth herself, maybe you want to get a two-fer. But bang the more desirable of the two first.

    3) The Bully
    – Me personally, I just give that dude the look of incredulity.
    – But since you’ve put on muscle mass, you should give that guy a hug, turn your arm over his back, mini-headlock and go for a playful noogie. Like you were best pals or something.

    – He predictably will get mad, and then you make fun of him for getting mad.
    – You wanna fight now? C’mon bro, we’re at a party. Classic YaReally where you tool the guy for being socially awkward. Then you can befriend him by bringing him back a beer or whatever.

    Overall with AMOG’s – it’s complimenting their strengths in such a way that they are weaknessess combined with social pressure.

    Personally, I just don’t see the point of these games with the mom and the bully other than to preserve your ego. These people are fucking with you and you want to engage them, instead of sidestep them on the way to your goal.

    The only thing that mattered here was reconnecting with the chick, getting her contact information, and then going into a secret society/social circle game framework. Women love to have illicit sex, sex that they aren’t supposed to be having with guys that they aren’t supposed to be seeing. That would have been easy as hell. She wants to bang, but just needs cover.

    The real issue with the chick isn’t her. I’m sure you can bang her in 2-3 direct messages.

    You’ve been thinking about this broad since forever. It’s more than a notch. You said it yourself, you had chemistry. That’s the danger that you bring to the table. Because of how you feel about this chick – and the reciprocation – it could easily not just be an undercover bang. If you’re just learning game – what you don’t want is a serious relationship. And long standing feelings + long term familiarity + overlapping social circles are base ingredients for an LTR.

  67. “I prefer not to”

    whoddathunk Bartelby was a pua?

    “I stopped eating to focus on my drinking” — lol, I love this kind of turnaround

  68. @blacker pill
    “In this case I was closer to the drinks, so I went off and poured some wine into a champagne glass and refilled my own drink. There was no audience this time, but I felt like it was a dominance display anyway, I just didn’t feel like creating something there by refusing.”

    Don’t refuse. Your demeanor should be like a giver in this equation, but fill your glass to near full and then his glass just below half. That would assert your dominance on him. He should know better than asking you to serve. This can be done even when others are there.

  69. bp – good advice here about the other fella amog’ing you…. but this part:

    “a guy there who I have known for a while who I’ve had a difficult relationship with”

    is where a bit more detail would be helpful to know how to handle it specifically

  70. Archie

    tight.

    “These people are fucking with you and you want to engage them, instead of sidestep them on the way to your goal.”

    Needs to be repeated. Ruthless.

  71. @blacker pill

    Either ignore

    Or fill his glass with orange juice and drop some peanuts in it / or whatever else shit snack is knocking around / perhaps an umbrella

    You get the idea

  72. @Sentient

    “didn’t have enough outcome independence to wait her out, eh?…lol… this is likely where you reduced your margin of error ‘enough’… bc this is where the frame was set… in HER frame… with you chasing… ”

    She was going North and I South… I walked 5 feet further South and locked in.

    i misunderstood this… bc that’s exactly what you should have done…lol… sooo, except for the beta style interest in HER at the open (what she was doing…), you had complete frame here to start…

    “why would you assume that a pro WOULDN’T want to bang you on her free time?… or even go off the clock for you?… serious question… bc (((I))) would…”

    Interesting I have no answer… Hmmm. Dog logic loop running… Pro /pay…

    riddle me this… how does the pro=pay dynamic relate to the BB dynamic v AF dynamic?… (i could just tell you, but it’s probably better if you walk through steps yourself…lol)

    Yay HABD is back.

    as much as i can…lol… pretty busy though…

    Thanks for your input and breakdown. Stick around because when I can cut and paste tomorrow there are a bunch of points I want to turn over. For lurkers, not in a defensive manner at all, but to draw out more understanding, particularly in a few places where what I (and others) did worked, and fill in a few glossed over deets on the FR, for clarification and confirmation.

    And yes it felt exactly like chinese model which was almost to the day 2 years ago…

    Overall the outcome is undeniable… Not enough alpha and sexualization… No signing on the line that is dotted… No Glengarry leads for me. 😢

    I’m still – struggling is too strong a word – intellectually curious in a detached way is more appropriate, looking to peel back on the Why? around the pleasurable feelings and reserved sexual urgency. Still difficult to explain.

    lol…

    only if you don’t listen to me…lol

    i keep telling you that ‘looks matter’ is killing your game… and your game is being derailed by SOMETHING…lol… bc this is a recurring pattern… = likely same cause… bc it’s the same ‘effect’… make sense?…

    I would say the the line of thinking that I don’t feel entitled because of their looks and have to earn it isn’t it though. If anything I feel so entitled that sex is secondary, like of course we will have sex. And of course she will be with me because I am super awesome.

    you can be super awesome, but as far as i can tell, you’ve ‘fumbled the pussy’ on all these ‘high end’ sets… chinese girl/EE model/and now ‘walking girl’… has there been any girls like this you have converted on?… serious question…

    the ‘looks matter’ leads to this…

    I lose way more lays being lazy and not running proper game due to my arrogance, for example.

    you have all the ‘looks matter’ indicators, right?… rich, good-looking, stylish dress, etc… sooo, why does your game take a dive when you engage the turbo hotties?… you know AWALT… but do you KNOW AWALT?…lol…

    your ‘entitlement’ SHOULD be leading you to sex them up…all of them…lol… and that’s just not happening…

    I’m open to the idea this is perhaps super suppressed and therefor cognitively unrecognizable, but dubious indeed. Which of course defines a blind spot lol. We will see. Contemplate this on the Tree of Woe…

    it’s not really that hard to understand, although it’s always easier to see someone else’s bias…lol… did you follow that ‘confirmation bias’ link i put up in one of those ‘discussions’?… (maybe IRL can find that one too…lol… bc, like you know… i;m laxy bum…lol) (ya, i didn’t even spell check that…lol… toooo lazy…lol)

    bc you believe that looks matter, you slack off on your game just when it counts… that’s the FI pushing on you… you see those girls as not ‘bad (ie sexual) girls’…

    (just like Culum did… remember ‘epiphany chick’? Culum really liked her… which caused him to not want to ‘game’ her (which would have lead to a ‘bang without payment’… bc the FI was telling him that she was a good girl, and that he should ‘date her’ (= arrange for some type of provisioning transfer as a qualification for her sexual access…)…

    same thing with you now with these high-end girls… (are the parallels i’m drawing too obscure?… say it with me now… paaayyyymmmeeennnntttt…..lol)

    The Prodar thing. I am just going to have to bite the bullet and turn it off. Too many mixed signals. But seriously, I cant be the only guy that constantly runs across pros and the detestible semi pros? Guys chime in? Rollo you must see this endlessly in Vegas… The reservation, the holding back waiting for a pitch, it hurts though. I don’t want to waste time and get the surprise cause my field time is limited. But I’ll have to fully commit. Here it really screwed up some of the early interaction and there was an impact at the end where more of my mind was taken up with “what kind of game is she running?”… Part of that is professional life cynicism and paranoia creeping in. But off it is so be it.

    this prodar thing is a symptom… not the disease…lol…

    Your cliff hanger had me lolling…

    “but here’s a serious question… was she a bad girl?… or was she a good girl?…”

    This is super juicy…

    it shouldn’t be…lol… really… girls are just… girls… (just like theasdgamer says…lol)

    Because I simultaneously don’t at all believe in Madonna Whore, having enough AWALT experiences, and yet I enjoy the idea at the same time…

    i understand that…lol… buuut, that’s just wishful thinking… i’m pretty sure Rollo has some OPs on that very topic…lol

    Both the duality of the Lady on the street Freak in the sheets aspect with an individual girl as well as with respect to seperate relationships – Wife/Mother and side pieces… I Love You To Death style “you can’t cook for me, thatsa for my wifa”…

    Will be fun cracking into this more.

    Thanks

    the overall idea is that girls have both AF and BB algos… we’ve covered this many…many… times…lol… you are EITHER BB (her default algo…) OR AF…

    you seeing her as a ‘mistress’ is just another form of ‘dating’ (ie provisioning = resource transfer for sexual access…) and THAT’s just the FI pushing on you… same with your ‘prodar’…

    IRL

    Interesting points.

    This

    “This is exactly what betas feel when they interact with girls matching their perceived SMV ”

    missing you here, seems betas feel raw terror more than lack of urgency.

    not for girls ((AT)) their (betas) perceived SMV… THOSE are the girls that betas EXPECT to be able to wife up… and so, said betas EXPECT to have to ‘provision’ them for sexual access…

    it’s the HOTTER girls that betas freeze up around…lol…

    I’ve done enough SNL game to be sure I register as a sex option and all of that sex has been very dominant.

    like with EE girl?…lol…

    I just need to avoid slipping into “enjoying the moment” and sexualize earlier when I’m in one of these moods… And leave the moments to after… But that changes the game from SNL game to multi day game. I’m betwixt and between… Rats!

    OOOOR, you could bang her brains out in the first 30 minutes, and THEN go out to enjoy that fabulous convo…lol…

    isn’t THAT what we told Culum to do?…lol… and that ‘multi-day’ idea is the FI pushing on you like it pushed on Culum… bc she’s a good girl…

    @IRL

    Ok challenge accepted you lazy bum!

    lol…

    Here’s the “I said this before” (one of many?):
    https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2015/09/29/women-are-happy-communicating-in-the-language-of-children/#comment-712374

    you have some great search skillzzz!… that’s just one of the first times (of many)…lol… and i think the last one was the one you found ‘page 9’ to @Sentient…for the WHY… and that looks ‘shouldn’t matter’…

    Sentient IRL

    IRL

    I suspect it has to do with the lack of sexual urgency with the hottest girls…

    Still not entitlement.

    Just lest rawness… Odd. But it’s more like I’d imagine her with me seated, curled up at my feet, and stroking her head like some kind of sexy Ocelot, while I sip a very old whiskey…

    Like the sex is secondary and assumed…

    you mean like the “negotiated desire” in BB relationship?…lol

    The dopamine high is in possession. Very curious place to be. Part I attribute to being married and having drained ballz all the time.

    But not new… I had a 9 who worked for me 25 years ago and we essentially dated for 6 months on the road every week… I never felt an urge to make a move on her, just enjoyed her by my side and playing.

    sort of like a ‘married to my best friend’ situ?…lol… do you sense a theme?…lol

    Now on the flip side a friend of my wife is a 7… Late 30s… Cute as a bug. And she came over the other day, i answered the door, and we chatted and it is clear she is into me… Ddb eyes all the time… So i kept close just chatting but really could have drilled her up against the wall right then and there…

    They say the number one reason guys are into porn is the chick is into it… Perhaps part of my blase attitude is based on really working for it. I am phenomenally lazy at times.

    and why IS that?… serious question…

    i thought you were a thrill of the hunt guy?… properly run game really is a thrill… and i know you feel that bc you’ve said that before… (like there is a certain point where she just melts and you know it’s on… like THAT is almost even better than the sex… although i can’t remember the exact comment thread… sooo, how about some keywords so IRL can look for it…lol…)

    does that ‘laziness’ just pop up with the turbo hotties?… or do you use the FI ‘looks matter’ halo effect to coast with girls lower on the SMV scale too?…lol…

    Don’t cry for me Argentina though… This will be muddled through.
    Lolz

    ya… i’m pretty sure we’re not cryin’ for ya…lol…

    the big question is… WHY don’t you run solid game on girls like chinese girl?… bc you surely know how… there’s obviously a mental block in play of some type…

    sooo, we are back to… was walking girl a bad girl?… or a good girl?…

    good luck!

  73. @IRL – I’ve been thinking about your thing on focussing on my precise goal.

    I have three days left of this present Blitz.

    I have plenty of sex (three new women from online dates in the last ten days alone, 1-2 hours from first meet to lay in each case – two 6s, one 32 year old 6.5-7), so just sex is not a priority for me at the moment.

    There’s always room for improvement of course, but generally I’m on top of my subcomms, sexualization, escalation, conversation and things like that.

    What I *do* suck at is cold approach and particularly cold approach when gaming solo, and it’s even worse in daygame vs nightgame, because then I just freeze (I’m decent when I’m with a good wing in night game – I need to open more and stay in conversations till the hook point more and learn to manage groups etc, but generally my energy is good and I’m having a good time – and if I flip the mental switch to “act like I’m on an online date” around the moment when I hit social hook point, I’m golden).

    But solo…I just freeze and don’t open in daygame (even with a wing in daygame sometimes), and in nightgame I sort of wander around and make a few feeble opens with crappy state and low energy and Approach Anxiety (and even those usually open well but I just let it fizzle out and self-eject).

    You might almost call me Hank’s mirror image (lol). He tends to go and open lots of people and gets into lots of conversations but doesn’t sexualize or escalate or take it anywhere (yes, Hank – I know you do some talking about sexual topics etc). If I could do that solo consistently in both daygame and nightgame, I’d be in a good place. Then it’s more a question of handling groups and logistics and obstacles in nightgame, but I can’t get to practice that until I handle the opening issues.

    It’s the “opening lots of people and getting into conversations and getting to social hook point when solo” part that is my weakness..it’s like I’m Bruce Banner with opening and I turn into the Hulk when I have a girl in a solo conversation with some time to spare.

    One of his last posts before he left, YaReally diagnosed it quite accurately I think – something along the lines of lacking a sense of entitlement and feeling that I’m adding value by interrupting some girls’ conversation in a bar or stopping a girl wandering around a shopping mall, but when a girl (from online) commits to come on an online date with me, and I meet her, I have all the entitlement I need and I do it well.

    So..what’s the solution? Or atleast what can I do over the next 3 days to maximize my improvement on this particular thing and flip the mental entitlement switch?

    The best I can figure is something HABD suggested (to someone else, not me) a while ago – if my sticking point is “opening lots and reaching social hook point”, then I need to..open lots and get into conversation and take it to social hook point to smash that particular sticking point. I’m not averse to number closing or lays – I’m certainly not going to self-eject from sets, but the priority is opening lots and basically getting into a *conversation* with as many girls as possible.

    I think HABD was talking about opening 400 girls in a weekend or something. Given it’s the middle of the week and I have work as well, I’m shooting for 300 opens Tuesday through Thursday. Girls/groups of girls – hell, even the odd guy. Both daygame and nightgame.

    PS – Rollo, another vote for West Indian Archie to be added to the link blogroll

  74. @culum

    The absolute easiest way to get used to opening people and feeling entitled is to start, actually, at a nightgame type venue — like a bar or club. Sit at a bar, and open people around you. What will happen is people will walk up to order a drink. Chat with them. You can talk about what they are ordering, tease them about it (you’re getting WHAT? That’s shit), or included them in the conversation you are having with the people at the bar.

    That’s the vibe you want for daygame. Its why I often can’t open people as well early on, but later they will bust open — its because I didn’t have that cool smooth social vibe at first. It isn’t that people up and hate you or avoid you if you don’t have the vibe, its more they are “oh hey, yeah that’s cool. I think so to. Okay, nice chatting with you.”

    In other words, your just strangers chatting, but you aren’t really in their group.

    Now, after you chat up those people at and around the bar, go an open some of the bigger sets. Its much much easier if you start OUT in a bigger set, but if you have to go solo, whatever. Then just open those sets AS IF they had walked up to the bar to order. Its that same just “oh, hey, just noticed you guys. You know there’s this crazy new drink up there right? Yeah, I can see one of you have, that girl over there is drunk as shit. Yeah you try and hide it, but I know.” whatever — the point is you need to get in this frame of just “I see a person” and you start talking even before you realize what you are doing.

    It makes more sense if you do it enough.

    Like I say though, just going out and opening people in daygame venues is kinda weird at first, so that’s why I say practice at a bar and just get used to opening people as they walk past you. Once you get good at that, you’ll do the same thing in daygame. As a person walks past you, as you see someone in a store looking at DVDs, you open them as if they had just walked up to the bar beside you.

    As with everything though, its all mental. It really isn’t that hard technically. If they are looking at books, ask what book they are looking for, or what books they’d recommend. If they seem lost, tell them that. Just get used to remarking on what you see, on what first pops in your head.

    Some of the best responses I’ve gotten is just from telling people that they look like certain famous people — and usually, they look NOTHING like them. But it starts a convo either way.

    Remember jester method. You need to dig DEEEEP. Go below the surface. So you know how when you sexualize, you look to turn even a pure-as-driven-snow comment into filthy innuendo, or look for any and all opportunities to touch the girl?

    Well, you do the same with topics. WHY do they like those horror movies? Ask them something like “You like horror, is it because you almost died once so you love to be scared?” or “You love horror because, I bet, you are actuuuaaallly a serial killer in training. That seems like a good place to look, you know, to see where all the other serial killers went wrong. You know I hear Dexter is really good, have you seen that?”

    You’re always looking to either 1) Pull out some deep aspect of that person’s personality or life experiences to connect over or 2) Get into a friendly vibe where you’re relaxed and riffing off one another — basically, to act like you guys are already best friends (again, like how when you sexualize you act like she’s already your girlfriend)

    Make sense? You just can’t sexualize as much (at least right off the bat) in day game, so you gotta get a little comfort in there first because her first response will usually be fairly non-confrontational…buuut she’s still going to be thinking “Okay, why is this guy talking to me?”

    Once you have a connection, and move her to another venue, then you can sexualize.

    I’ve found that bringing up sexual topics in daygame gets more resistance than in bars or whatnot.

    That’s really my best advice though. You just have to see daygame as the same as night game. You open people in the day the same as if they were siting in a stool next to you at a bar, or if they came up to order a shot.

  75. @Culum

    “So..what’s the solution? Or atleast what can I do over the next 3 days to maximize my improvement on this particular thing and flip the mental entitlement switch?”

    You know the solution. Short set method. Feed off sets. Until your in the zone. Then you’ll notice reaching the social hook point becomes effortless cause and all of a sudden your just spitting gold. You just gotta execute. The best demonstration I’ve seen of this is in HotSeat@Home. The video is titled “Hot Seat Full Infield – Classic – Part 2” and starts at 32:30. It’s Tyler opening set after set after set. You see him start off shitty and uncalibrated (like me), but he slowly gets better and better ‘tweaking the dials’ (the girls he opens also get better and better looking lol).

    good luck

  76. @Culum

    opening X number of girls (in this case 400) as fast as you can on a weekend is for approach anxiety ( old school pua tech)…

    you DO self eject after the open… and a couple exchanges… else you are into full blown convo which would induce more anxiety…lol

    buuuut you seem to need that right now… sooo, 3 day challenge for you = open 300 girls as fast as possible…

    and NO cheating to stay and talk…lol

    good luck!

  77. My frame is I’m just “doing it for state”. Whenever I’m at a point during the night where I’m out of it or I’ve been talking to my wings for a couple minutes (aka not opening sets) I’ll look around beside me and I’ll nod to a set (doesn’t matter if girl is ugly or not) and tell my wings “lets open for state” it takes the pressure off of having the set to go well for me…like good or bad set doesn’t affect me, cause I’m just doing it to build my state.

  78. @Sentient

    “missing you here, seems betas feel raw terror more than lack of [sexual] urgency”

    (HABD too busy to text is just texting… lol… and explaining what I was trying to communicate above…)

    One day, someone standing on the shoulders of Rollo, another giant of intergender dynamics, will see this whole thing from a new, broader perspective. He will make it even more groundbreaking and will find a better way to redefine a few concepts we’re struggling with right now. ‘Alpha’ and ‘beta’ will be on the list. They were just a simple analogy to a hierarchic structure of animal herds and related strategies to spread genes. A quick temporary model created to move things forward… and we’re stuck with it now… labels bastardized and removed from their rich content and context…

    So when I say you did things that registered as ‘beta’ (“not enough alpha and sexualization” = triggering ‘beta’ switches when not triggering ‘alpha’ ones, hamster doesn’t like vacuum), you think I’m misreading your state of mind because you don’t feel like ‘beta’. Well, good for you… but at the end of the day it’s all about what hypergamy wants, looks for and feels… and how all of it formed our biological wirings and subjective perceptions.

    Here’s an insight and a flashback from the mind of a BP beta (let’s define it as >80% ‘beta’ triggers): I did not feel sexual urgency, in most part I was happily delaying (accepting delay of) sex for pleasurable feelings of being and doing stuff together. Like if dating was giving me enough and was more satisfying and exciting than sex (you’ve seen this in many FRs here). That’s why “men are romantics pretending to be realists”. You can throw in abundance, DPA traits and other things all you want to differentiate your situ, but from the INSIDE it feels exactly the same: sex is secondary to these blissful feelings.

    I find it interesting you don’t think betas could FEEL the same way on their dates and in LTRs…
    Funny… because my BP beta memories match your feelzzzzz… you just romanticize them differently… you whiskey perv… lol

    OK, some kink now…

    I guess the airport girl saw your name on the bag when you collected it… Probably not the first one, so watch out for that…

    Girls I interact with don’t even know my real first name… When they ask, I just say something like “my stripper name is [some ancient god’s name]… but you can call me [random name]”. I guess they assume it’s the answer… because we never use our names again… lol

    As for the “what do you do” question… I tell them I grope girls like them and some similar things (I add some context and cold reads, e.g. her ethnicity or looks). They laugh and usually ask again. Instead of giving them a logical answer, I say something about working with people and getting shit done… which emotionally is basically it, but can be any type of work. It makes it easier to push it forward in any emotional direction, depending on their blueprint, level of interest and their own work/life experience. And I remain a mysterious character they just met and connected with at a different level.

  79. @culum @HABD

    I dunno about all those opens. I think for a straight newbie that would be good, but culum has a lot of experience.

    I think a slight change to it would be on day one, yes, open EVERYONE. No long talks, just open a person, say hey, talk for like 30 seconds then move on and IMMEDIATELY open the next person. Just boom boom boom the whole time your out.

    I wouldn’t even focus on the number, just that you open everyone, just like you’d do in a bar or dance club.

    Day two would be focused on staying in those sets. For starters, YES, do open a bunch of people as quick as you can — although, I’m not sure if you are like me, where just opening a bunch of people DOESN’T put me in state, its having a solid, in depth conversation with a person. But I may just be more extroverted.

    HOWEVER, you should then move on to STICKING WITH THAT GIRL. If she’s busy, walk with her. If she’s looking for something, go with her. Your goal here is just to STICK WITH IT after you open. Which is actually challenging if you aren’t used to it — you get a surge of nervousness to open, then you chat and you feel good buuuut then you start to feel awkward because where is this going now? And that’s when you’ll eject — DON’T. THAT’S YOUR GOAL FOR THIS DAY.

    DAY ONE is opening everyone

    DAY TWO is sticking in with the convo even when it starts to feel awkward. Just stay in there as long as you can.

    DAY THREE is to bounce her to another venue

    So on your last day, your goal should be to get her to move to another place. As you are making small talk, drop in references to cool places nearby. Like a coffee shop. Say, maybe something like “Oh yeah, there’s this coffee shop nearby. I’m gonna meet my friends there in a bit (could be your…fuck…time limit thingie, forget what they call it, where you tell a girl you’re about to leave so she doesn’t get worried).” but as you chat you could be like “hey, that’s pretty cool you are in to rare gundam wing action figures like I am, lets go over the coffee shop next door real quick so I don’t keep my friends waiting”

    And ideally, you already went to this coffee shop before, so you know people there, and can make up some people there are your friends. Like with several people I’ve chatted up I’ve had the people I was with just assume we were friends lol, when they were complete strangers.

    I’m rambling here, but the point is to on the third day focus on bouncing these random girls to new venues.

    I think that will be good practice for you, and a good set of stages to go through to learn: Open, stick in it, then bounce.

    fuck, I think I am going to go out tomorrow and do the third step on everyone I meet.

    nice.

  80. @Culum: I haven’t been doing as much as I should, but I occasionally cold approach (and let it fizzle). What I usually manage to do when I don’t just freeze is to do a situational opener based on what the girl is wearing or similar. They usually like that.

    Two examples from yesterday on the subway.

    A cutie gets in and she is wearing a short leather skirt, a leather jacket, and has a leather backpack, she leans her back in the front so I can’t see her backpack well.
    I start counting her zippers (I’m like the Count). She has 6 on her jacket (!), 2 on her skirt, and I can see one on her backpack. I just had to know if she had more than ten.

    I get up before my stop, go to her and stare at her, she looks at me and I say “Can I see your backpack?” and she is surprised and goes “Why?” “I want to check it out” so she turns to show me the back and I smile (spot at least two more zippers) and say “You are wearing more than 10 zippers on you!” it was beautiful, she smiled and I think may even have giggled “You were counting them?”. I’m like “Surely you did this on purpose?” and she goes “Nooo”. And I go “It goes well together. I like zippers, although I only have one on me today” (point at my crotch), said something about my own shoes, then I just didn’t have anything else to say (obv should have tried a number close). Then I just let the awkward silence flow over me as it took quite a while until my stop arrived and I was just standing there quite next to her, at my stop I looked at her again and wished her nice travels.
    So much more I could have done there (including asking if she had underwear with zippers).

    Later on the same day, I’m sitting down and a (not as cute) cutie comes in with dark lipstick, a top that shoes cleavage, and sits right in front of me and starts typing on her phone pretty much non-stop. She had long hair and two braids coming right from the front, over the top and back. It looked good on her, nice hair style and I wanted to tell her that. But I froze up and didn’t say anything because she was always texting and I didn’t feel entitled enough to interrupt :/

    Long way to go…

  81. IAS Culum IRL

    IAS –

    “I go “It goes well together. I like zippers, although I only have one on me today” (point at my crotch)”

    ijjjji would be proud… then he would talk about the awesome things he was going to be doing until the girl hinted that she was interested in doing it too… and only then extend an invite to her.

    So there is another way to proceed.

    What I should have done on text last night …

    IRL – hottie who linked me did not get anything from my bag, nothing on it, she has deep joogle skills I guess. I assume some attraction switch flipped enough for her to open me that way. I am having a late dinner at 9:45 and I get a response to the thread I started with her. I had also sent her a pic of a drink and she replies “Thanks for sharing”. I hit her with “Somebody’s curious” and she gives me back a thumbs up emoji, which I’m not positive what that means I assume it is OK or something in a little “you’re full of yourself” way… which was my frame from the earlier interaction. but 9:45 is a good time for a ping text. But this shuts down cause I play it wrong… I give her a “I know”, she is on but doesn’t take it. I send her a pic of a weird bird 10 minutes later and “such a pretty” and 10 minutes later “bird”… Will see if she does anything tonight… will be sharper and more playful… I don’t do a lot of text cause I generally avoid numbers, cocked it up. oh well…

    Culum

    So here is how last night went… Hit a happy hour after work a little late like 630… place is supposed to be good, has a chill vibe and dark but not too many people. On the way didn’t open, just some head nods. Mostly guys.. couple of ugly girls. One next to me chat with her, get some local knowledge. Grab a drink and lean against the wall… 5 minutes later smokeshow struts in… if she wasn’t a 9 she wasn’t far off… whole package… jeans cool heels.. [sidebar – these descriptions don’t mean I am in love… lol. They are just descriptions] She walks by me… I fluff the open. lol “Hey ” and says “How are you” cordially as she walks by… Fuck. Reading FR’s of being stuck is NOT a good way to get about the night… Then I froze . LOL Bartender knew her of course pours her a large rose and she stands 20 feet away, alone, away from everyone while I think “why am I being a huge pussy” lol. I swear just the word “stuck, froze” just kept playing in my head, Five minutes later she goes upstairs. 5 minutes further on a tall beta guy comes in and I see later he is her date or whatever. You never know when one will pop up.

    So now a two set comes in they take a position at the end of the bar at a little table and get drinks. meh. 5? [short, heavy, pretty face – at least she was pleasant] and a 6 [tall thin but average face] both early 20s. OK time to get going here. I brush myself off… go open. Go open… walk over “You guys have to show your ids out there?” they give a blase and cautious “what is he going to do” face… “yeah”… I go “so check this out, last week I was in XXX and …” go into the bouncer game story… embellish it a little get them laughing at different parts… lead this into some psychology of mind control etc. and now they are solid. They hit me with the “SWDYD?” question… go about the guessing games… They are trying to tool me because I have a cashmere sweater on and suede loafers… love this kind of shit testing… lot of banter arouund this holding frame.

    Oscar – Get around to the Orgasmologist bit in development.

    5: So really what do you do.
    Me: ya got me, Doctor.
    5:what kind?
    Me:[to 6] Is she always like this, sooo many questions
    [to 5] I’m an Orgasmologist.
    5:OMG. No. You did not just say that. [6 laughing] You need to try that a second time [shaking her head]
    Me: that’s exactly what happens in the clinic… second time third time… over and over…
    But we do NOT take insurance, so don’t get any ideas [to 6 who is laughing]

    I will keep my ears open for this kind of reaction…

    5’s guy friend shows up. he is a dick… chat with him but not a fan… so i chat up 6 while the two of them talk. It’s early yet, place isn’t doing anything. Hottie leaves with her guy. But this is good warm up

    J – open for state…. solid advice.

    I leave the set and head out. Go to another place. Have a drink with a sexy name. Mostly couples… Monday slow etc. I’m the only one at the bar. 7 comes in. 10 feet away. looking at the menu. i Go Open… walk over, lock in to the bar, open her over my shoulder about my tasty drink… this is funny “she doesn’t give me any eye contact, looking at the drink menu, tries to shut me down and says still not looking at me “ummm OK. I’m good here thanks for coming over though” I say more loudly keeping direct eye contact, squaring up “What DID you say?” a little aggressively… That got her to look at me…. lol she swallows her words. “oh uh” – I’m like cool… “This drink that I have is great. Do you know what it is called” she’s like “No… tell me” with a go fuck yourself look. I tell her Sexy Name and she is “Am I supposed to know that….” I then neg her on why she is deficient and explain the two meaning so Sexy Name. she orders it. Now she is like “Is this what you do… come up to girls you don’t know” blah blah… get into a good groove with her, lot’s of back and forth… she is very feisty… I run the “you’ve thrown a shoe a dude” routine… and keep making the outcomes more outlandish “for sure… you’ve poured gas on a guy and lit him on fire”… so this is a good set. Getting attraction, kino going, lot’s of double entendre. laser going. she has two gay dude friends coming. “they are going to love me… I am a gay icon”… she is a lot like the girl in the Mystery infield, the snarky bitch… but on each quarter hug she is getting closer and the period is more frequent. So good set. Bunch of other stuff… A thing becomes her hair is up in a knot and I keep grabbing it, pulling her into me by it and saying i need it for my man bun for the gay guys… They show up we all talk a minute and I am ready to bail… they go off in the corner table…

    Hit another place. Nothing happening. Go get dinner…. Get message above from hottie…

    Head to another bar. Monday, slow, lot of dudes. A few couples, single at bar, empty stool… Glide on in. 6 23 very very meh… but here… start up the game machine, she is travelling alone, going home tomorrow never been here… it’s like 1030 now… all very good signs. so I decide to play what is here… J – fuck 6 to build state… for tomorrow perhaps. Any how I am running super obnoxious stuff and super sexualizing between being quiet and sipping my drink and looking around. she is warming up. get some kino going, squeeze her neck etc. don’t recall much of the particulars because this is all pretty standard just being a jerkboy but just backing off enough.

    HABD – yes you are going to say see do this with the sooooper hot girls!!!! I think revisiting some of your comments – throwing out the chinese girl which was more lack of proficiency than mindset – with prodar a bad feedback loop is established. because if you are getting an IOI you don’t believe is an IOI you don’t act on it like it was real… that hesitation is part of it. To answer you “have you succeeded with any super hot girls question – Yes, the 8 stripper, largely because I just grabbed her and did not dwell on the Prodar aspect… IOI feedback is an element. This does not negate your comments of course, just another aspect. Like if Russian would have made out 40 minutes in when I went for the kiss… duh escalation continues and we finish the drink and bounce.

    anyhow tell this girl let’s go, bar down the street. she is super nervous… lol…. she is like “i have no idea who you are, your name where I am” I tell her relax it’s 100 feet away and walk out and she follows. We get there she is all “are you going to kill me!”… I laugh and tell her I can’t “no room in thefreezer” she’s like oMG you are. I don’t like this. we get in have a drink, pull her into the back, bar is pretty quiet, we ar eon a side bench and chair. Start amping up the kino, taking her hand stroking it… rubbing her neck, putting her hand on my chest… she is like “you are so full of yourself, you just go out to bars and pick up women, you do this all the time, why me? why not one of those other girls” blah blah… I’m being an ass but giving a little comfort back “you seem like an interesting person”…

    Newlyaloof – I go to kiss her and she says no I’m not kissing you, I brush her neck with my cheek and sit down.then she grabs my hand with the ring “and your fucking MARRIED!!! what the fuck is THIS! Should I call your WIFE right NOW!!!” she is flipping out a little… lol. I’m pretty chill just hit her with “sure go ahead” “I’m I guy who sees what he wants and takes it… it’s a mystery” etc. she is all “Do you love your wife?” Oh yes she is awesome. She says “I bet she is hot too?” Yup super hot. “what the fuck are you doing?” she says… I get up… stand over her she is “nope not kissing a married guy” I put my hand on her neck, grab her hair pull her face up. other hand on her throat “shut up” Kiss her… she resists a little, just her lip. I roll back a bit laser her “come here” and she melts… make out… rub her tits… then break off go sit down. she is all “omg you are such an asshole” she says this about 20 times too… big smiles from me.

    so this is going on. But she keeps circling back to “married”…. like a lot. every few minutes I get up pull her in… make out… hand on her crotch, rub her pussy… she grinds then pulls my hand off… “No! your married” more making out… gets to the part where she is squeezing and rubbing the cocka… but she is still “well you can do anything you want to me but i am not going to fuck you, you are married”… I am dirty talking in her ear… some more making out like this . But fuck… she still keeps harping on about married married married married married…. non stop in between. So at that I just lose interest completely… fuck it. a 6…? nah. I say let’s go… she is “I’m not fucking you” I say yeah you’re right we should be best buddy’s… come on, let’s get you a cab. She is all “well you have time to go get another girl… your such an asshole” And we part…. make out when her cab comes “she is go home to your wife!!!!” out the window… I could have kept moving forward probably… just had enough of this….

    Of course she has a BF back home, but somehow that didn’t matter much to her…

    another night down…

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