Field Reports

lion-chasing-gazelle

For the past three years of The Rational Male there’s been a consistent presence in the comment threads of guys seeking advice for particular situations with regards to Game. Whether it’s fine tuning certain aspects of Game or a larger consensus of the guys participating in my comment threads it’s become obvious there’s a need for a dedicated page and comment thread to address these Field Reports.

So I’m instituting this page for exactly this. If there is some urgency to have members of The Rational Male community analyze your particular situation feel free to hit anyone up in the comments of my current post, but please refer them to your particular field report with a link to your comment here. I’m hoping this will alleviate the mass of posts for field report analysis and Game specific insights piled into the main blog post for any given week.

There will be some rules for this “forum” as such. I ask that you only keep your comments to addressing the field reports at hand and save your larger theoretical stuff for the main posts, or if relevant, keep the “bigger scope of things” posts to being as succinct as possible. There will be no moderation in this comment thread (spamming excepted), so realize it will be a very hot kitchen before you post. I will impose no restrictions on video links here, nor will I limit links to various, but pertinent articles.

Understand, this is an experiment for now. It’s likely this comment thread will exceed thousands of comments. I’ll be instituting new comment plug-ins for wordpress to deal with this in the future, but I may archive this page the the posts and refresh this page in the future as well. If this gets cumbersome I may simply institute a dedicated forum-style sub-site of The Rational Male to accommodate for Game specific questions.

So have at it, post your field reports and feel free to comment on the ones you have some particular insight for. Be forewarned that it’s likely things may get a bit salty at times and I expect a lot of back & forth with debate and disagreements, but that’s what this thread is for – to hash out Game particulars for your given situations.

 

2,325 comments

  1. ” I don’t blame him, I get frustrated with stupid Frame battles too.”

    Aaaahem….tell me about! Frames battles can get out of control. Sure as fuck I’ve learned the hard way they are not power. I got caught up in massive battle recently and the harder I tried the worse it got. Letting go and focusing on self works. The lessons are good when they stick. I’ve found building my Frame to be satisfying for myself. Worrying about how my Frame is in relation to women is male hamster spinning. Do what you want, when you want, and what brings value and correspondening satisfaction to your life.

  2. @SJF

    I don’t believe for a second that wine will do jack shit for preventing any transmission of disease.
    15% alcohol, YGBSM.

    Research on The Antimicrobial Properties of a Wine Based Disinfectant

    http://ir.library.oregonstate.edu/xmlui/bitstream/handle/1957/22588/WaiteJoyG2004.pdf?sequence=1

    12% alcohol. Even the most resistant bacteria was inactivated in nine minutes. Viruses are far more vulnerable than bacteria. They wouldn’t last seconds..

    Wines are acidic because alcohols are acidic. Deadly to viruses. Somewhat less deadly to bacteria. Even Galen used wine to disinfect wounds.

    I don’t think that I am overthinking or over-cautioning. The problem with viral infections is that they can linger after they no longer show symptoms and reemerge later. If you get a couple of these reactivate after a bout of flu/pneumonia when you’re 60 yo, you can be dead quick. (or it may take a while if it’s cancer). And you’ve been feeling good in your 50s and enjoying life, then you’re dead in your early 60s when most people live into their 80s, enjoying life except for the last two years. All because you couldn’t be bothered to get your date to rinse with wine.

    If you set the expectation of sharing wine, you can make it happen because the girl will be in your frame.

  3. @SJF

    As regards risk.

    If a man has 100 partners, he will almost surely get a couple or three viral infections of various types, likely totally unaware that he has been infected. Then, when he’s older, he gets the flu and those latent infections activate and hose his immune system and he dies from something as normally treatable as pneumonia. This doesn’t seem like manageable risk–more like an unavoidable wall.

    Condoms don’t work well against viruses–voids in condoms are too large.

    Wine won’t help prevent viral infections for PIV. It will help with kissing and bj’s, but she has to keep drinking the wine because viruses may be released during your interaction. Obviously, if a girl has cold sores, don’t kiss her or let her give you a bj. Herpes is transmitted by contact. No liquid required.

    Even with my limited experience, I may have some latent viral infections from kissing.

    I don’t like my findings any better than you do.

  4. FR: 6 pm. community hot tub

    I’m soaking alone. mid 30s mom in bikini with folded wrinkled gut hanging over her bikini bottom and her two daughters, probably 5 and 6 ish enter. I am disgusted and say nothing. no eye contact. just keep the jets on my sore muscles. they stay on the opposite side of the tub from me.

    the little girls complain about bugs. mom drones on in mommy voice about bugs being part of being outside and some incorrect information about ants and bees.

    then out of nowhere:

    5 year old: “am I skinny or fat?”

    mom: (legit shocked) “what are you talking about?”

    5 year old: “am i skinny or fat?”

    mom: “you are way too young to be thinking about that. it’s time to go”

    pua intrepretation: “dude, you spiked her. she was qualifying to your silent manspace alphaness. you should have negged and escalated, relocated and pushed for a threesome.”

    my read: there is no such thing as love. there is only bonding via brain chemicals and that five year old is already an alpha widow. this has nothing to do with sex because the youngest I have ever heard of a non abused healthy woman masturbating is eight and even that has nothing to do with sex but the feels she gets from the clit stimulation she can’t understand.

    bonding brings with it a fear of loss.if this fear of loss is greater than the fear of missing out on a possible gain, then the person sticks with what she has and does whatever it takes to keep it. this results in the man being in control. this is ideal for the man and the woman. and the family. and the future.

    introduce skynet. instead of bonding with a strong man, she bonds instead, via the screen she’s been staring at since she was 1, with the HIVEMIND. hence, “am I skinny or fat?” from a sexually immature child. “skinny or fat is about signaling health and FERTILITY.” her mom was quite right to be shocked. this kind of thought would be impossible less than a generation ago. now we have 8 year old girls on diets. 10 year old girls with eating disorders. they have been negged by the supreme alpha skynet. this digital alpha is running game on her immature brain beyond anything it has ever experienced. and nothing short of total grid annihilation can stop it.

    the worlds owners don’t care about the 25 year old and older men. their brains are already wired. they don’t care that we share information about their techniques, schemes, narrative manipulation, etc. we are not a threat to them. they only care about the future and getting unfettered access to younger and younger minds that are still forming. just like all religions begin as early as possible to get a better chance of indoctrination (I still know the lords prayer even though I don’t want to and if it wasn’t in my brain than something else would be), our owners have found their final solution.

    the five year olds living right now will get all the bonding chemical release they can handle from the screen. carefully manufactured, edited and delivered content designed specifically to spike the same emotions that a very skilled player would. except instead of a man being next to her, spiking her, making her feel alive, it will be skynet. and instead of it happening at 14, it’s happening at 4.

    any woman of legal age that I game will have already been gamed, addicted and widowed by skynet. by definition I can only be beta bux. her fear of loss will be the fear of losing her phone not of losing her man.

    because we’re men, we thought skynet would drop bombs on us. our owners are far more advanced and insidious than I ever could have imagined. they made us think that the internet was a mistake. that secrets had been revealed. that they wanted to shut it down to stop us from organizing against them when in fact the internet is their greatest and most advanced weapon against us because it is turning our women and children into their alpha widows. they have hijacked their young brains and will only get better at it.

    trump is the proof. millions of smart, rational, informed men voted to cuck themselves. they do not fear us at all. why? because millions of smart, rational, informed men allowed them into their homes to infect their families. and they even paid for it.

    everything that the most advanced player does with a woman’s brain, skynet can do it earlier and better. women are of one hive mind and they figured out a way to reach them all at once, controlling the narrative masterfully and ensuring the only fear of loss that the young women of the future will have is the fear of loss of a wireless signal.

    pair bonding is dead. the apple campus looks like a spaceship for a reason. they abducted the highly suggestible human female and replaced her with something alien. a raped and abused hybrid who will follow every command no matter how irrational.

    skynet wins. by definition there can be only one alpha and it has been revealed. check and mate.

  5. Yeah, my claims are misinformation…

    like my claim that wines are acidic…

    http://winefolly.com/review/understanding-acidity-in-wine/

    Unfortunately, that article wrongly attributes the ph of wine to components like oxalic acid. It DOES get the acidity of wine correct, however.

    If you look at the following link, you’ll find that a solution of 50% ethanol in water has a pH of about 5, which is weakly acidic.

    http://www.imeko.org/publications/wc-2012/IMEKO-WC-2012-TC24-O4.pdf

    Let’s consider a 12% solution of ethanol in water. Ethanol is highly miscible in water despite its organic character and water being ionic in character. Actually, ethanol is slightly ionic because it is a two carbon compound and the oxygen on one end polarizes the molecule by drawing electrons from the distant carbon towards the oxygen. What is the chemical formula of ethanol?

    CH3CH2OH

    When ethanol ionizes, you get CH3CH2O- and H3O+ . The hydrogen ion or proton joins a nearby water molecule for stability reasons. CH3CH2O- is an anion. The oxygen in the anion draws electrons towards its “end” of the organic anion just like it did for the covalent form of ethanol. The carbon which is distant from the oxygen then assumes a more positive charge, which allows bonding with other water molecules, making the ethanol anion more stable; the more stable the anion, the lower the pH.

    If there are any chemists out there, you can’t just look at the pKa of ethanol because that assumes pure ethanol. Solvation of ethanol in water increases its acidic character.

    Why does stability matter? I don’t remember…maybe it has to do with energy of solvation. If solvation is exothermic, like what happens when you mix ethanol and water, then heat is released when ethanol and water mix.

    Just to really fuck with you all, I was taught that there were three different definitions for acids and bases: electron donation, proton-hydroxide solvation, and proton donation. Ah, I found a link:

    http://www.chemguide.co.uk/physical/acidbaseeqia/theories.html

    Testing pH depends on which definition of acid-base you are using.

    The takeaway is that there is plenty in wine to denature (inactivate) viruses.

  6. Fleezer

    Naah what really happened is in kindergarten the government gives out lick and stick tatoos for good behavior.And then later on in life the only way a tat parlor can get licensed is by using government ink with a time release LSD that keeps tat wearers triping on conspiracy theories untill the ink fades. And then some kid said she was phat.
    Psych!

  7. Holy shit – Got laid!! At last, lol

    AirStewardess – 21 years old. Decent looking.

    I WISH I could give more info in regards to a detailed FR’, but I was pretty drunk!
    I basically approached a group of girls who were sitting down in a bar. I think I just sat next to the one I liked and was like ”Girl in the blue dress….What’s your story?!”

    Anyway, she hated me! Kind of ignored me. But I carried on plowing. Talking nonsense. I plowed long enough to stay in set for when her friend (the girl I ended up getting) came back from the bathroom. Then I moved on too her.
    We started talking. I then suggested going too a different bar. They came with me. Started dancing with her. Eventually just grew a pair of balls and pulled her towards me by her waist. She complied. At that point I decided to sto being a pussy and go for the makeout. Got it.
    Then it was a matter of building a little bit of comfort so that I wasn’t just some random makeout guy. Spoke about some boring shit with some humour thrown in. Qualified her a little so that she didn’t think I only wanted her for her looks

    Then her friend wanted to get a cab which very nearly fucked things up with my girl who looked like she was leaving with her, but I was just like ”So you’re leaving me?! I’m not just a piece of chewing gum that you can discard!” And then kissed her again. Then I just pulled her towards a slightly secluded brick wall as her friend was talking too the cab driver, and rubbed her pussy a bit over her dress, She moaned.

    Then I just said ”You’re coming with me”. Grabbed her by the hand and marched her towards a different cab rank
    Then got her back to my place. Ate her our. Boned (no condom! D’oh!)
    Got rid of her a minute ago.
    Happy, but I honestly wish I remember more about how I done it. I’m also angry that I didn’t get my 20 approaches in last night as that was actually my goal since i’ve been so lame with AA recently! But She was basically the first girl I spoke too

    Fair few shit tests about my age by the way!

  8. Good work Mike. You ACTED without thinking, led the situation and BANG!

    #Bob’syouruncle

    Repeat 10x

  9. @Pitbikemike – Woohoo!

    Congratulations. Action+Escalation = success.

    Don’t worry about the details – just keep that forward momentum in mind and keep going.

  10. Culum – any ideas here?

    Mike –

    “honestly wish I remember more about how I done it.”

    the keys…

    1. “I basically approached a group of girls” – Approach… bust a move.

    2. ” was like ”Girl in the blue dress….What’s your story?!” – Don’t sweat the opener…

    3. “Talking nonsense. I plowed long enough to stay in set” – self amusing (DHV) and did not self eject…

    4. ” I then suggested going too a different bar. They came with me.” – compliance test, bounce, change venue trust building…

    5. “pulled her towards me by her waist. She complied. At that point I decided to sto being a pussy and go for the makeout. Got it.” – Physicality, sexuality, man to woman… no dancing monkey.

    6. “Qualified her a little so that she didn’t think I only wanted her for her looks” – qualified her, changed the frame, little push… Mystery wept a tear.

    7. “Then I just said ”You’re coming with me”. Grabbed her by the hand and marched her towards a different cab rank” – led. men lead women follow…

    8. “Fair few shit tests about my age by the way!” – which you passed… 😉

    And here you go, stair stepping blitzing blitzers… “She was basically the first girl I spoke to”

    Game is about execution… it’s not a numbers game. Some guys need to hit the numbers to learn the techniques… fair enough… but you can execute early and often, just following the tenets, on the few targets you do meet.

    “_I_ can go out there tonight with the materials you’ve got and make myself $15,000. Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Can YOU? Go and do likewise.”

  11. #Bob’syouruncle

    You sure structured that along Mystery Method.

    Congratulations.

    “Boned (no condom! D’oh!).” I hope you at least swished some wine around. Doesn’t that inactivate sperm too? Which was it? You were too drunk to remember, or you were so not thinking that you were able to get laid that you didn’t have one readily available.

    “Happy, but I honestly wish I remember more about how I done it. I’m also angry that I didn’t get my 20 approaches in last night as that was actually my goal since i’ve been so lame with AA recently! But She was basically the first girl I spoke too.”

    Practice and you can one day feel confident to do the same routine without (significant) alcohol to dim your AA. Repeatedly. That would be a cool Superpower. To game from your heart and soul and not have your bastard SuperEgo get in the way.

    Thanks for the LR instead of a FR.

    Good job and good luck!

  12. Isn’t the manosphere great? And to think most guys in real life don’t know what a manophere is.

    #Sentient’sYourUncle

  13. Most things in game are subtle/covert but sometimes when people are drunk all bets are off. When YaReally used to post stuff in here, he used to talk about DHVing by chatting with other dudes in the club. I think he should have dedicated a whole post/comment to just chatting the dj. I have discovered that chatting up the dj seems to be a girl magnet especially if the two of you laughing yourself silly. A girl (or two) soon shows up.

    I was out last night. A drunk hb3 came at me as I was chatting with the dj, sniffed my arm and licked me (like a dog!) I ran away shortly afterwards. Soon after, I left with some journalism student. We went screwed for an hour then went back clubbin till 4am.

  14. Good shit Mike

    “Then I just pulled her towards a slightly secluded brick wall as her friend was talking too the cab driver, and rubbed her pussy a bit over her dress, She moaned.

    Then I just said ”You’re coming with me”. Grabbed her by the hand and marched her towards a different cab rank
    Then got her back to my place”

    Loved this part. Alpha as fuck. Making shit happen. Now go out and do it again tonight!

  15. Well I feel I was fairly lucky if i’m honest. I mean, I know that you make your own luck too an extent, but I kind of feel that that I didn’t do anything special and she was just maybe kinda into me from the start?

    I can only give myself credit for the fact that I approached, and for the fact that I actually escalated.

    But I didn’t really learn much last night. I feel as though she made it kind of easy on me.

    And thinking back, now that my head has cleared, I DID make about 3 approaches before the pull which all bombed! Even though I ended up pulling, i’m still annoyed about that.

    I opened, and was trying hard to implement the plan in regards to subcommunications and getting into some ‘attraction material’/DHV type stuff. On the first set, the girl stopped me a few seconds into a small DHV story/routine and said something like ”that’s a bad pickup line!”. Threw me off my game, lol.. I’d literally only said something like ”you have an expressive face” when she shot me down. I know it could have been handled and turned around, but I wasn’t prepared and so lost my frame easily. And then with the second approach it was one of those ones where the girl just wasn’t reacting to me at all. I think I tried to re-create the kind of opener that I used on teh dancer girl from a few weeks back who gave me her number (she’s still texting me by the way) and I opened with a comment on something she was wearing and then used a light kind of tease/neg like I did with the dancer girl, but it didn’t go down well with this girl – In fact, that was the girl was was the friend of the girl I ended up pulling.

    Still, probably best to concentrate on the success rather than the failures in this instance though, I guess.

    @SJF – Condom wise, I didn’t think for a second i’d pull, so it didn’t even cross my mind to get condoms! And to be honest, in the heat of the moment, i’m not sure i’d have bothered even if I had have had some.

    I’m not out tonight, but probably am tomorrow.

  16. @pitbikemike

    nice job!

    Everything went as planned. You escalated and pulled the trigger. And over the course of these past months your persistence as paid off and you haven’t even noticed! Keep going at it man!!


    FR for last night:

    Went out between 9:30 and 1:30. Made 3 approaches.

    Girl 1: Asked her if she was from X. She said “No, i’m from Z.” I bantered with her for a few minutes, didn’t get physical or isolate her as I should have. A friend of hers – I think it was an orbiter – dived in and asked her a question, which diverted her attention. I wasn’t sure what to do from here so I turned to a friend and started talking about the game playing the television. I ended up bailing the set completely.

    Girl 2: She glanced at me a few times so I said “he, what’s up. how are you.” She said she was fine. I joked that she was stuck between the juke box and a bunch of chairs. She laughed and said, “I know! I don’t know how I got here!”. We bantered a few sentences more, but then her boyfriend was actually standing by her, took her hand and they went off somewhere else. No success

    Girl 3: I was at a very very crowded bar. I saw her amongst a dense group of people, went up to her, said “hey, you look nice, how are you?” “fine”, she said. She was trying to get around a chair in front of her. “I can’t get around this thing” she said. “It’s there so that we can get a chance to talk,” I said and grabbed and caressed her hand. She giggled a little bit. “Was that lame?” I asked with a grin on my face. “Kinda yeah”, she said laughing. “What’s your name?” I asked, then she told me her name. “Be my girlfriend,” I said. “I don’t know how my boyfriend would feel about that,” she said. “Be my girlfriend for 5 seconds,” I said, and she laughed. “5 seconds? hmmmm”, she said. “20 seconds,” I said. “No no no that would be bad,” she said. “20 minutes,” i said. I was basically just trying to keep pushing the interaction because there wasn’t much on my mind to use. “I’m sorry, i have a boy friend but i can’t!” she said, “It’s a good line, though, but it won’t work on me”. “Oh yeah,” I said, “So your a tough girl.” She gave me this challenging look. We bantered a little bit more but she kept mentioning her boyfriend, so I gave up, said good bye and left.

    Since that was the first solid set i approached, my legs were legitimately shaking afterwards lol like i just did something really embarrassing. But then i felt proud about it and walked around downtown some more, looking for more opportunities. But after while, as it was getting late, i felt pretty satisfied with myself and decided to leave.

    After reviewing more mystery method, Julien, and RSD material I’ve realized I really need to approach the first set i see when i walk in tonight and I REALLY need to minimize time between sets. I keep pussy footing around, waiting to get “comfortable” and it never really works but I keep thinking it will work. For practical purposes, early in the night I’ll probably just focus on simple “hey what’s up how are you?” openers followed by a few sentences. Nothing serious. Just to get social.

    I notice whenever I see a set of girls/girl, I’ll automatically assess that set based off of a few metrics such as (a) do i want to have sex with them, (b) is it possible for me to have sex with them, and (c) am i willing to do the things necessary to make having sex with them happen. With pretty much every set, at least 1 of these 3 things I usually feel is not fulfilled, so I suddenly feel approaching is “kinda pointless” (which isn’t true) and i lose motivation and a sense of purpose for being out. I keep making these wild assumptions and assessments of sets i see, almost out of habit. Its annoying as fuck. I can’t get my head into the “just talk and see what happens, calibrate after the fact” mindset. But after saying “hey what’s up, how are you,” to Girl 2, I started feeling that way.

    In essence, being able to just “not think” about how i’m feeling, or about what to say to a group of girls, or about how “possible” it is to successfully fuck i a girl i see, is very difficult to do, since my entire purpose of being out is to get better at game and to fuck a girl. Last night, however, I did put a lot of my focus on “just enjoying the process” which helped mitigate some of my overthinking nonsense and helped me to at least get talking with a lot of people outside of girls. So tonight i will also focus on “enjoying the process, results don’t matter” again, since it worked a little last night.

    I’ve also started mentally associating (through a combination of personal experiences and self reflections i’ve had) “taking action” immediately when i see a girl with being “more attractive” or “more sexier” or, basically, being a DHV for the woman i’m approaching. This little mental association has helped me (just a little bit) feel more spontaneous, out of my head, and focused on taking action with a girl immediately, since i know it’ll make me appear sexier.

    So for tonight:
    – say hey to people on the way to first venue
    – open first set when walking in to first venue using simple, short openers, being not very invested at all.
    – Minimize time between sets
    – 3 second rule or you’re fucked

    i think i might start trying out opinion openers to (“what’s up, Have you ever …?”). I think they’ll make me feel more at ease. I keep going with direct, “you look nice, I want to say hey” style openers because their simple to memorize and i’ve had some success with them, but they make me nervous af so i don’t know.

  17. That’s almost impossible unless you are intentionally ignoring girls… just the crowds alone, at the bar etc.

    Fix this.

  18. @pitbike

    the girl stopped me a few seconds into a small DHV story/routine and said something like ”that’s a bad pickup line!”

    Probably a shit test, which means that she was thinking about reasons not to bang you. So, it’s good to be able to recognize this quickly in real time and react appropriately…”So, how many times have you used it?”

  19. @Sentient

    Nah not really. Just cause there are large crowds doesn’t mean girls will automatically be approached.

  20. “Just cause there are large crowds doesn’t mean girls will automatically be approached.”

    Try deliberation.

  21. Quick run through here.

    Firstly, I MAY have solved the last major health issue I have. I’m extremely paranoid about it, because its been going on since this past december, and just all of the sudden started to go away. So I’m not sure it will get better, but then again it did just pop up out of nowhere to begin with, so who knows. But I am staying optimistic about it. We’ll see how it goes, but hopefully I will be good enough to be able to seriously go out this may, and then I can do my uber blitz.

    Strange to be to happy to just get back to where I was, when I was tired as shit all the time and had no energy, but at least thats ALL i have to deal with, and that’s something.

    So here’s hoping.

    @blax

    When YaReally and scray and myself were going ’round and ’round about violence/fighting and guys in clubs and what not, The underlying theme was to try and joke or goof your way out of a situation where you’d managed to piss some dude off and he was looking to put a hurt on you.

    I disagreed with Ya and scray, especially the notion that a bouncer would always come to your rescue ( having done a short stint bouncing myself ), or you could just run away…..screaming, I suppose.

    This stuff is absolutely dependent on 1) What area of the country you’re in, and 2) What type of venue you are at.

    Not quite. Their perspective is that not so much you can joke your way out of bad situations, but you can relate to guys and make a connection with them to diffuse the situation, or at least calm them down enough to get away. Yareally gave an example here:

    Angry guy who just got cheated on by his girl:
    Dude: “Grrr I’m gonna kick that guy’s ass…”
    PUA: “Woah dude, you’re angry as fuck, it’s killin my mojo here what’s up man?” (authentic, know what he’s thinking)
    Dude: “Fuck off man, I’m in a shitty mood.”
    PUA: “No shit lol what happened dude?” (authentic, asking Qs)
    Dude: “My girl cheated on me and I’m gonna kill the guy she cheated with, he’s just some scrawny little faggot”
    PUA: “Ah fuck man, sorry. A buddy of mine just found out his girl cheated a month ago and he’s been drinkin his face off all month. The worst part is the guy she cheated with is ugly as FUCK lol Why do girls always pick the shittiest guys to cheat with?” (relating, share a story, I know that feel bro)
    Dude: “It’s fucking bullshit, I could kill this kid with one punch”
    PUA: “lol probably, you’re huge as fuck dude. But shit, I say if a girl wants to trade down to some loser then good riddance. There are probably 5 chicks who look just like her in this bar and they’ve probably got better taste. That’s why they’re here, dying for us to fuck them lol” (authentic, share a story, re-direct)
    Dude: “lol I just want my girl. 😦 ”
    PUA: “ahhh I hear that man. But fuck it, not gonna’ get her back tonight. Tonight should just be about drowning your sorrows, lemme buy ya a shot ’cause I been there and all I wanted to do was get fucked up hammered lol” (authentic, relate, re-direct)

    And now you’re best buds AND you probably saved some dude from getting his ass killed lol

    So its not that you just be jokey funny guy, its that you pace that person’s reality and then lead them into a calmer mindset. You come across that they are 100% justified in bein angry, that you understand why they are angry, and then you gradually go into a more relaxed mood and they follow along with you. Its your body language that does it more than anything else…they see you being high strung at first (just like you enter sets of girls with as high or higher energy levels than they have…that way they know you are in the same party mindset they are) and then once they accept you then you can tone it down and they will follow.

    Its kind of like this guy here:

    Just through his calm demeanor, and putting himself between the two people, he ends the fight.

    Now, that won’t work for everyone, but the crazy psychopath dudes are generally pretty obvious and bouncers won’t let them in, and even if they do, its pretty obvious the people who are hankering for a fight.

    So I’m not disagreeing with you, I just think your idea of what scray and yareally were saying is not quite true.

    I told Ya that I could take Tyler from rsd out with me, and no one would pay much attention to him, male or female. That’s one of the things I’d found fascinating about the countless ” In Field ” videos that Ya posted up. I’d be saying to myself ” where the fuck is this taking place???”. Lol.

    I’ve been to few ” clubs ” in LA that were filled to the brim with some of the strangest guys I’ve ever witnessed, doing some of the silliest shit I’ve ever seen a man do. Ditto with certain spots in Phoenix/Scottsdale and certain parts of San Francisco.

    Yeah it depends on the venue. Different types of people are going to stand out in different places. But I’d think you’d see Tyler switch things up if he ended up in a very different venue…his over the top shit works well in the super loud kiddie clubs he goes to, but I’m fairly certain he’d adapt to a different venue quite well.

    Still, I’d love to see a blax vs tyler face off. No matter who wins, we all win lol.

    Personally, for all of the ranting and raving about Russell Brand, and that bullshit he says about acting more fruity or whatever, you’re correct in that he’d better keep that dumb shit wherever he goes that it works.

    Nah, the way russel brand works is a lot of uber macho tough guys are super homophobic. So when you go uber gay those kind of guys back the fuck off “I;m totally not a faggot dude. I an’t no fag. Get away from me.” and they peace out because just being AROUND a faggy dude makes them look faggy.

    Its like juliens bit where he tells a girl to tell the dude she’s with that julien is “her gay friend”. So that way he gets to take her away from the dude for a bit…because he’s her gay friend. Who’s gonna step up to that?

    Its just a weak point most guys have, and if you act super fruity, you can easily ward off most guys. Its like how I’ve noticed a lot of latinos will just interrupt you and start talking to latinas in spanish. Its not a fancy move, but it throws off most guys. So it works most of the time. Same with acting fruity…its just a basic strategy that throws off a lot of uber macho dudes…hence why brand uses it.

    He ” bangs a lot of chicks ” because he 1) Is a kind of celebrity, and 2) Accidently executes a form a Game by being ” outrageous and outspoken and getting up in people’s face’s. Lol.

    Isn’t that game though lol? MM is all about being able to become a local celebrity by merging groups together and befriending people. And being “outrageous and outspoken” is really just being congruent to who you are and expressing yourself…that’s all just game right there. How many guys are truly living their own lives as they want, and not just acting like one of a million other drones? Not many.

    Calibration is the best way to keep a fist out of your face. It’s a fool’s errand to annoy other men to the point that they’d like to beat the hell out of you. Believing that one can always de-escalate a situation, well…imo, that’s not a sound plan.

    Yeah, that’s what I wrote above. Ya and scray were all about calibration. It was never about “annoying” other men, don’t know where you got that one from. Their strategy, and its all from MM, is to quickly befriend people and then merge people together. And it was never about knowing you can ALWAYS deescalate a situation, but knowing when you CAN’T deescalate a situation and so avoid those people and places.

    But yeah, everything is location dependent to some extent. A guy can be a master of game and pick-up…in Cornhole Nebraska, but put him in Miami or Boston or Atlanta, and it will be a learning experience for him.

    Good, solid Game is golden mostly anywhere on the planet.

    If a man does not know how to protect and defend himself, he has 2 options: Learn, or make sure you don’t fuck with people. That’s it.

    I mean, they said essentially the same thing.

    All this YSG vs OMG is really just two groups of people saying the same things in different ways, IMO.

    @sentient

    whoa, lets not get ahead of ourselves here. You still haven’t responded to me from before. Remember when you said I was “delusional” for suggesting that yareally had friends outside of pua that he hung out with? And you suggested that I go read the archive for myself so I could see you were right. And yet…I did check the archive, and came up with those 4 detailed quotes (including the date when they were written so you can look them up yourself) proving that you were incorrect, and in fact yareally stated numerous times that he had friends outside of pua. Its right here in case you missed it:

    https://therationalmale.com/field-reports/comment-page-13/#comment-192320

    You need to explain why you were demonstrably, patently 100% incorrect on your statements here before you move on to criticize me on anything else.

    @fleezer

    once he got here, he stopped posting actual FRs and instead became way more theoretical. he referenced older incidents and field videos for analysis instead of current pulls. he talked about plates he fucked, not ONS pulls. he wasn’t here out of goodwill for his fellow man. he was here because he was struggling and he wanted to figure out why. his time in field decreased and his time behind the keyboard skyrocketed.

    Lol, where did this come from? He posted here mainly to help out newbies and give them detailed writeups (and he gave VERY detailed write ups, in the range of 10-20 pages, legit short story length) to help them out…because guys helped HIM out when he was just starting out, so its his way of paying it forward.

    He NEVER wrote up much of his own FRs, even when he was on CH back in 2011, because he was there mainly to help guys out with their FRs. Plus, he was always very paranoid about anonymity, and so didn’t like to post actual details. So him not posting his own FRS is nothing new, he NEVER did that, and only brought up his personal experiences when they were relevant to helping out other guys.

    Fri/Sat were the days he went out to game, which is why you mostly saw him post here during the week.

    There are lots of things you could criticize yareally for, but him writing up small novels worth of detailed play by play pua instruction for free on a weekly if not daily basis is certainly not one of them.

    @pitbikemike

    Holy shit – Got laid!! At last, lol

    see, told you. And don’t forget about those other two dtf girls that you bailed on before this.

    Good job sticking in there…see how that works? Standing up to pressure is like 80% of pua, plus just logistics. Stick in there, and lead her to a bang location, that’s most of pua right there.

    Forget about the 20 approaches…you’re doing the 20 approaches to get laid. Any time you’ve got solid interaction with a girl, fuck the rest of the approaches and fuck the girl. You’re not doing those approaches just to do the approaches, you are doing them to get laid. So as long as that happens you are doing the right thing.

    Have a condom in your pocket next time though! Otherwise great work.

    And thinking back, now that my head has cleared, I DID make about 3 approaches before the pull which all bombed! Even though I ended up pulling, i’m still annoyed about that.

    lol, so if every night you went out you bombed on 3 sets and then got laid, that would be annoying to you? lol, you gonna have to get more used to bombing. the less you are about that, the more you’ll win.

  22. Last night was another rough night. Talk to a fat chick at the very beginning. She seemed into me but I wasn’t in to her at all so I cut the conversation. Talked to some some indian girl later in the night; she seemed into me as well, but I wasn’t really into her, so I left before things go too serious. The rest of the night I just roamed around the downtown area, saying hey and chatting with people I knew, joking with a few bartenders about the hockey game, but avoiding talking to girls altogether. A lot of IOIs i didn’t capitalize on. A lot of opportunities missed.

    I think i might take a little break, or maybe I won’t – i’m not to sure what would be beneficial. After losing my virginity, my principle motivator of going out is totally gone. I need something else to get me going, which i’ll have to figure out. But i’m definitely going to keep at it. For now i’ll stick to just 3-4 nights a week while i’m in school. During the summer, between the end of school and moving to the metropolis i’ll be working in, i’ll probably go out 2-3 nights a week. And when i finally move and begin working, i’ll probably go out 5-7 nights a week, since i’ll be living right on the downtown area. Maybe i’ll get a job as a bouncer/bartender or something lol. Whatever helps

  23. but i’ve definitely come to the point where getting good at this game, and getting laid, is a thing i take really seriously – maybe way too seriously. idk. that’s why i think a break might be good. Focus on schoolwork, go hunting and fishing or something.

  24. “– i’m not to sure what would be beneficial.”

    Dealing directly with your approach aversion.

    “. . . go hunting and fishing . . .”

    Always good.

  25. @Safespace

    Do you not think that you can use the fat chicks and Indians as a pivot to a social situation in which you plow through to their friends? Both the fat chick and the Indian were there by themselves? Unlikely. Use them as a pivot to the girls you are attracted to.

    On thing I learned from the PUA’s commenting here is that when you socialize in a group, that you be fun and add value to the group. Practice being fun an adding value, even to the hapless women. When you come across an attractive value, then also use those skills. Don’t be a taker. Be a giver of value to the attractive women when you meet them. In your Frame. It is paradoxical but you be in your Frame, but be all about them women. This is the sine qua non of be fun and add value to them. And that will be more attractive, than if you are sniping, poaching and trying to get value from them.

    Mystery Method, a distillation, would have you lead a group. Push the best representation of you on the group. Women don’t go out and poach guys, they hang out in groups. It is your burden of performance to work the group if you are out solo.

    Prior to meeting a girl that passes the boner test, you need to practice for when you do meet a boner test passer women.

    The practice that would be advisable from an uncle is to work on attraction switches. So when the right women comes along, you have attraction switches.

    Practice attraction switches on the girls that don’t pass the boner test and then you will have reference experiences for when you meet a girl that you need to attract.

    (I am not PUA, but I understand that these days girls need more attraction switches now than ever. So work on that.)

    Attraction switches:

    http://sinnsofattraction.blogspot.com/2006/12/attraction-switches.html

  26. Well shit, forgot today was easter. Was gonna do a bit of in field to get warmed up for blitz, but not much out. Probably go out in the next few days though.

    @pitbikemike

    Here’s a more detailed write up for your LR

    I WISH I could give more info in regards to a detailed FR’, but I was pretty drunk!

    Unusual you got laid here lol. Usually being drunk fucks you up because it makes it harder to read people and to think on the fly. Here though, I think it helped you because it shut down all your negative thoughts so you just went with the flow.

    Drink is a crutch though, so don’t rely on it. 2 drinks max.

    Now, as far as forgetting things, thats usual. When you are in the moment, you aren’t really recording in your mind what’s happening…since you are in the moment. Its usually when things are going bad that you remember a lot of details. So it isn’t so bad you forgot a lot of details.

    I basically approached a group of girls who were sitting down in a bar. I think I just sat next to the one I liked and was like ”Girl in the blue dress….What’s your story?!”

    Here you are approaching, and in your frame, since you are asking her to impress you. You didn’t even ask her your name. Youre just “Hey you, tell me your story, and if I like it MAYBE I will care what your name is…” See the unspoken words in how you approached?

    Anyway, she hated me! Kind of ignored me.

    She probably DID actually dislike you at this point, but as you discovered that doesn’t really matter. Like I said earlier, most of pua is just sticking with it, standing up to pressure. You got to run through your rollodex of game until something resonates with her, then push hard down that thread. I linked this before, but its good now to watch it again.

    Even for the masters, it can take a while to crack open a chick.

    That said, it may have been a shit test. Remember, girls want to test you to make sure you are really an alpha stud, and not just a paper tiger. So just because she says she hates you, doesn’t mean she really does.

    Garbage actually has a few good Red pill songs…I’m Only Happy When it Rains is another good one.

    But I carried on plowing. Talking nonsense.

    Good. Logical questions kill the vibe. No serious talk till you are alone and in comfort. And even then, still have a playful tone.

    I plowed long enough to stay in set for when her friend (the girl I ended up getting) came back from the bathroom. Then I moved on too her.

    See, you can always find someone else. However, here you lucked out. Usually, if one of the friends doesn’t like you, none of them will. What will usually happen in a situation like this is the girl will come back from the bathroom, see you with her friend, see the friend doesn’t like you, and so will then not like you because her friend doesn’t. Generally, you’ll have to win over the person that doesn’t like you, and then everyone else will follow suit.

    Just be aware of that. Guy wingmen are there to help you get laid, girl wingmen are there to prevent their girlfriends from getting laid.

    We started talking. I then suggested going too a different bar. They came with me.

    You’re leading, good.

    Started dancing with her. Eventually just grew a pair of balls and pulled her towards me by her waist. She complied. At that point I decided to sto being a pussy and go for the makeout. Got it.

    Escalating good good. Im curious, do you remember the time all these events happened? Was this late or early in the night?

    Then it was a matter of building a little bit of comfort so that I wasn’t just some random makeout guy. Spoke about some boring shit with some humour thrown in. Qualified her a little so that she didn’t think I only wanted her for her looks

    Awesome. From her following you to the next venue, and her dancing with you, and making out with you, you’ve had several solid iois. So you’ve passed A2. Now you are in A3, and you pass it by qualifying her…only little bit here…you should qualify her before you go into comfort. Not sure the order you did it in, but the more you make her work to win you over, the more attracted to you she’ll be, and the more she’ll really believe you are legitimately in to her, and the more you’ll disarm ASD.

    Its a little detail, but an important one. Remember, it goes A2 (female to male interest) then A3 (male to female interest) and then comfort.

    It didn’t matter here (if you did do some comfort before qualifying her, which it seems like from the order you wrote it in), but it will be more important for prettier girls. The more you make her work to win you over, the more obsessed she’ll be with you, and the more she’ll want to bang you. Julien has a thing where he makes girls get on all fours and bark like a dog. Well, now the girl HAS to bang him, because she did all that demeaning stuff, so if she bangs him then it all pays off.

    Its like if you order a fancy meal, and it sucks, you eat it anyway because it cost so much money. Or how in Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle the burgers are so delicious…they really aren’t, but they went through so much to get to White Castle that it makes the hamburgers taste so much better. Its the same with girls, the more you make them work to impress you, the more obsessed they’ll get with you.

    So next time, once you have solid IOIs like you did above (leading to another venue, getting a makeout, etc) make sure to qualify the shit out of her. Do things like reject her first answer outright, then next question only kiiind of like it, and then just gradually get to the point where you are finally like “okay, I do like you a little bit”.

    Just pretend you are hiring her for ONE open position which she’ll be responsible for MILLIONS of dollars of equipment. Yeah she looks good…but can she cook? What can she cook? Really good spaghetti? Has it won in awards? Really? Nice. But I don’t really like spaghetti. What else. Chicken pot pie? How good? You also won an award for that? That’s better, I like chicken pie. Buuut I already know lots of people who can cook. What else can you do? You hike? Where do you hike?

    I’m not saying to LITERALLY ask questions like that, but do you get the feel of just how much you’d be running the girl through the gauntlet if you are treating her like above? You’ll need to do that for especially good looking girls. But the more you qualify the girl, the better results you’ll get. Like I said, qualifying the shit out of a girl will

    1) Reduce ASD
    2) Hook the girl more

    And its all because she had to work so hard to win you over, which shows that

    1) You have high standards, which means you get a lot of girls
    2) You really like her, since she had to work so hard to win you over

    As old T. Paine said “What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly” So make sure you’re worth a kings ransom.

    Then her friend wanted to get a cab which very nearly fucked things up with my girl who looked like she was leaving with her

    Yup, see what I mean about the friends? If you win them over, they’ll actually help the two of you to hook up. But since she doesn’t like you, she’ll try to cockblock you. This nearly fucked you over.

    but I was just like ”So you’re leaving me?! I’m not just a piece of chewing gum that you can discard!” And then kissed her again.

    Good, you stepped in and spiked her more. You’ll run into this a lot when you have dudes try and take your girl…who ever spikes her the most will get her. Here you were assertive, and then you went in and kissed her solid solid. But you didn’t stay there…good because if you has her friend might have said “Come on lets go” and then your chick would have been like “okay, I’ll see you some other time then mike.” and then you’d never see her again. Your kiss bought you some time is all…

    Then I just pulled her towards a slightly secluded brick wall as her friend was talking too the cab driver, and rubbed her pussy a bit over her dress, She moaned.

    Boom. This is amazing. You led her away…had you touched her pussy in front of her friend she would have freaked lol. But you took her to a private spot and then touched her privates lol. Major major spike her when you did so. What guys would do this shit? Most guys would have bailed WAY the fuck at the beginning when her friend didn’t like you. But you lead them to another venue, danced with her, kissed her, then when her friend tried to cockblock you and pull her away, you grabbed her right by the pussy lol.

    Then I just said ”You’re coming with me”. Grabbed her by the hand and marched her towards a different cab rank
    Then got her back to my place. Ate her our. Boned (no condom! D’oh!)
    Got rid of her a minute ago.

    And there you go.

    But I want to emphasize how important that VERY last bit is, right at the taxi. That’s the defining moment. You almost lost it, but saved it by a hair. However, you’ll run into that a lot. I’ve had a lot of interactions like that where I got fucked over at the last minute by cockblocking friends. They’ll come up often, and they’ll come up fast, so be prepared. Just remember this moment and do the same things next time.

    However, you can avoid this all if you win over the friend first. You almost lost this chick because her friend didn’t like you much.

    Well I feel I was fairly lucky if i’m honest. I mean, I know that you make your own luck too an extent, but I kind of feel that that I didn’t do anything special and she was just maybe kinda into me from the start?

    Yes to all these things. There is always an element of luck…but you have to be able to take advantage of that. Sometimes opportune moments arise, but you have to have to be able to take advantage of those opportunities…and that takes SKILL not luck.

    This girl was probably in to you from the get go, she’s a flight attendant and so lucking for a SNL…HOWEVER…look at all you had to do to get her to bang…the leading to another venue, dancing, kissing, leading her away from her friend and stroking her pussy. Even with a DTF girl, it still takes quite a bit of work. So yeah you got a good girl, but you still did work to turn that into a bang.

    Most girls won’t be this easy, and I pointed out where (qualify her more, win over the friend), but you went through MM correctly (or mostly correctly lol) so just remember that for next time and do what you did here.

    I can only give myself credit for the fact that I approached, and for the fact that I actually escalated.

    That’s what game is though. Approach, spike her, get her alone and escalate. That’s all game is in a nutshell. Its that simple and that hard.

    But I didn’t really learn much last night. I feel as though she made it kind of easy on me.

    You learned how to pick up a DTF girl and lead her to the bang. You managed to get laid even though you didn’t think you ever would, at least not for another year. You learned a lot here. You are just STILL SO FUCKING NEGATIVE EVEN AFTER YOU JUST GOT LAID.

    lol.

    You just need to bang more chicks until you realize how well you are doing lol.

    And thinking back, now that my head has cleared, I DID make about 3 approaches before the pull which all bombed! Even though I ended up pulling, i’m still annoyed about that.

    Once again, even the masters will usually bomb a set of two. You gotta get warmed up. But getting a lay out of 4 approaches is damn good. That’s high level shit there…you kinda lucked into this one, but still. Point is, getting a lay out of just 4 approaches is very very good.

    It will take you a bit to get warmed up…and you were off one those early sets.

    On the first set, the girl stopped me a few seconds into a small DHV story/routine and said something like ”that’s a bad pickup line!”. Threw me off my game, lol.. I’d literally only said something like ”you have an expressive face” when she shot me down. I know it could have been handled and turned around, but I wasn’t prepared and so lost my frame easily.

    Lol, I did something like that recently. Approached a girl in a magazine section after I passed the gift cards. I asked her “Have you noticed how gift cards aren’t as funny as they used to be?” which she said “uh, not really.” then I went into “Weren’t you at that party on halloween?” and she said “nope, not there.” and was just not having it.

    But it was a shitty open…she wasn’t even IN the card section, so the open was incongruent, and then I just jumped right into the party bit. Robotic, lifeless. Plus the girl was facing like right into the magazine section, clearly not wanting to talk to anyone. It was just a bad set up, but it was my first open. I laughed about it later.

    It takes stuff like that to get your mind flowing, then you look over it and go “D’oh, that was silly. Such a bad setup” and then you think about what you did wrong and correct it, and as you talk to more people you get into the flow and you’ll do better.

    Your first few sets are generally going to suck though, especially if you haven’t been out gaming much recently.

    Its a little late now, but any time you get laid GO OUT IMMEDIATELY. You’ll be radiating success and more likely to score again. Girls can tell if you just got laid, and they’ll be more attracted to you.

    You’re doing amazing dude, keep at it.

    IMO, you need to go on a blitz like culum does — dedicate a week or so to spending every day of the week to going out and spending 4-6 hours in field.

    I think you need to get laid a few more times to knock out your negative mindset. The sooner, the better.

  27. I’m scared to write this FR because she was batshit crazy and i’m literally sitting here wondering if the police will knock at my door soon because she was so hot and cold. Crying. Then kissing me. Then telling me to leave. Then making me finger her. etc, But I banged the hottest girl i’ve ever imagined I could bang in my wildest dreams a minute ago. I’m Literally in shock. Stunning girl, People were looking at me with envy. 18 year old girl! I could be her dad. I’d say 9/10 lookwise. Easy. Almost feel as though i’m content with never getting laid again as she is literally about as hot and ideal as i’d imagine i’d ever get. I don’t feel comfortable updating this until I feel safe! I don’t think I done anything wrong, but she was definitely unstable!

  28. @pitbikemike

    “Almost feel as though i’m content with never getting laid again as she is literally about as hot and ideal as i’d imagine i’d ever get”

    Lol I remember this feeling after banging my first 9. You now have reference experience of banging a 9 which will be communicated in your vibe (entitled to 9s instead of feeling unworthy of them) and help get more 9s (“I’ve done this before, I can do it again”). I know this because it wasn’t until I had a couple of 9s under my belt that my game really took off. Game is reference experience.

    Good luck

  29. @pitbike

    OK man, check and correct the type of feelings you say you are experiencing re the 9. You are going deep into blue pill pedestal territory. Don’t do this…. Your life and happiness depend on it. As I’ve stressed here countless times, a hawt hb9-10 is still just another girls at the end of the day, always. Of course they can be fucked because they too have vaginas.you’re allowing yourself to perceive her as somehow a special pinnacle or something, when at the end of the day she’s just a girl you had sex with.

    Go bang a bunch more hottie’s. None of them are aliens, and a majority are in no way special in any substantive way.

    IMO, the constant drumbeat of ” hottie ” used in every pua vein I’ve I’ve ever read or watched is a very dangerous and beta mindset for most men to adopt. It’s one factor as to why some guys do indeed end up with crazy bitches.

    There is no ultimate chick. It’s an ideal inside your mind. That’s cool, but always control your own thoughts rationally.

    The erratic behavior displayed by the chick in your fr is a perfect example of what I’m trying to say. You don’t want to be looking over your shoulder after having sex with a woman. It’s a hazard in pick up the way it’s taught. All part of the game. You can’t sweat over what’s already been done. No time machines. So keep moving forward and use this experience as a learning tool. Your ability to size broads up more quickly should develop, but it will only happen if you can keep your head and put no woman up on any kind of pedestal.

    Discernment. It’s what’s for breakfast.

  30. @Pitbikemike – Congratulations! Even without the details – you must have done things right to get it done – so great work (again) on taking action and escalating and moving forward. See how momentum builds up?

    If possible, mask the identifying details and post an LR – sounds like it will be interesting. But don’t risk anonymity or anything for it.

    Also make sure you read YaReally’s stuff on preventing Buyer’s Remorse in the girl (cuddle afterwards, try and get some text messages post-bang about how she had a good time etc to prove consent..that kind of thing) and follow it.

    Blax is right about the mentality you need, but the thing is you only GET to that mentality by sleeping with lots of girls and hot girls and learning for yourself that he’s right about the mindset you need. You can’t internalize that mindset just by being told it’s true.

  31. Pitbikemike

    Nice work…

    If possible, mask the identifying details and post an LR – sounds like it will be interesting.

    I bet it looks just like the last one… You were out, around girls… and Open, Self amuse, pass shit tests, physicality, sexuality, and leading… Keep going. 9x to go!

  32. Hank

    You still haven’t responded to me from before. – wrong

    You need to explain why you were demonstrably, patently 100% incorrect on your statements here before you move on to criticize me on anything else. – wrong again… but I guess you found a shoe you saw fit?

    Listen Hank… Gamma is not attractive to women… Gammas are wanna be leaders of men, not leaders of men. women suss this out quickly, and most guys as well… work on this…

    Each year on the Lax teams there are two kinds of new players who show up… Both lack experience. One keeps his mouth shut and puts his head down and works hard. This is the kid the team loves to see develop, the coaches love, the senior kids take under their wing and encourage. and the kid reciprocates this trust through further effort and development… eventually becomes one of those senior kids and leaders on the team.

    The other kid is cocky and loud, and despite his demonstrable lack of skill and experience, keeps opening up his mouth, and asking questions and thinking he knows it all and is the greatest and struggles on the field and in practice. This is the kid the older kids mock, pull pranks on, haze and the coaches love putting him in drills where he is going to take some knocks… He is the kid who rides the pine, gets two minutes per game and is never seen with out his team jacket on… a poser.

    Now there are reasons tribes adopt these behaviors… they are ancient, hard wired into men. Take some time to understand why…

    Less talky talky more walky walky will serve you well. Look at Safespace and Pitbike – both showed up – a virgin and an incel – both DID the work and moved up in a month or so.

    and this keyboard jockeying is painful to witness… never kissed a girl yet talking about absolutes via borrowed experience. I realize you’ve bought into PUA will the zealotry of a New Believer, but this blind faith is holding you back.

    Don’t be that kid…

  33. OK, I need to put some thoughts down.

    I’m still sitting here nervous and anxious. I should feel like a million bucks since she really is close a ’10’ in terms of looks (Super young, slim, perfect face, stunning broad smile, bright eyes), but instead I feel a bit sick.
    This is about the events that happened after i’d got her out of the club.
    So after moving her too a different, more secluded part of the bar, we had a chat and then started kissing again. She kind of played with my cock over my jeans, and I rubbed her pussy a bit over her skirt.

    I asked about her living arrangements. Told me she lived closeby with her dad who was away. I then said lets get out of here and you can show me how messy your room is and held her hands walking too the exit. She complied and we began walking. She broke away for a second and marched again which I thought was slightly weird but didn’t think much of it, and re-engaged her as we exited the bar to get to the sidewalk where she was smiley and talkative.

    We were walking too the cab rank and then she suddenly stopped and sat on a bench. I was like ”Errr…are you OK? The cab rank is just over there” and she didn’t reply. She looked angry. I sat down with her and asked her what was up. After a little chat she got back up and we went too the cab rank.

    When in there, she again, went all weird and quiet. Didn’t seem particularly drunk. Wasn’t as though she was staggering around or slurring or anything. The guys in the cab rank asked her where her address was, and she wouldn’t tell them! (or me)

    At this point I though ‘this girl’s nuts’ and was close to bailing. If she wasn’t so gorgeous I definitely would have but she really is my ideal in terms of looks! I got up, and slowly headed to the door as I pondered just leaving her when she then decided to tell me her address. The cab then turned up, and she seemed normal again. We spoke a little bit about her job and stuff in the cab and I was just self amusing.

    Just as we got too her place she started to cry! She said she’d lost her glasses. I found them like 10 seconds later. Then she seemed happy again. We got out of the cab and as we got close to her door she said ”Bye then! It was nice meeting you!”. I was like ”Are you fucking kidding me?!”

    I have no idea what one SHOULD do in that sort of situation, but I certainly lost my ‘frame’ and basically accused her of using me for a free cab! (I paid for the cab). Then she let me in the house.

    We were basically arguing in her kitchen at this point. Super awkward! I told her that I thought she was crazy, and then she told me she was gonna hit me or something! I just laughed, told her that I thought she was cool earlier and I was surprised at her behaviour.

    She then flipped 180, took me by the hand and rubbed it against herself, and told me to come upstairs! Started taking her clothes off and stuff. Then we kissed. Then I undressed her more and fingered her and we just fell into having sex.

    But she wasn’t passionate at all and was STILL being kind of weird.

    Afterwards she turned her back to me and when I tried to make sure she was OK and stuff she kind of snapped and clearly wanted me too go away. I tried to kind of make her feel better and talk too her, but I seemed to be making it worse! She seemed to get more upset – kind of crying a little when she spoke like she was on the verge of SCREAMING! I then decided to leave. Kissed her on the cheek but she didn’t acknowledge me.

    So now, i’m legit sitting here wondering what the hell happened and whether i’m in some trouble! I’m sure you can all imagine what I mean! One of my friends sort of knows her (They’re not actually friends as such, though) and i’m getting a snapshot memory of him saying to me ”Craaaaazy” as I was making my move on her on the dancefloor – I guess referring to her being a strange girl.

    Not gonna lie. I can’t relax. Concerned about a knock on my door. Also concerned about seeing her again. I don’t live in a massive city or anything!

    Bizzarre mix of emotions. I’m anxious. A bit scared. I feel a bit bad for her, too. I’m worried about if I ever bump into her again. Worried about other ‘repercussions’ – I also have a weird feeling of ‘loss’ since she must legit hate me yet she was clearly into me at one point and it’s like I know I could never salvage anything with her which hurts because she’s like my dreamgirl to look at and I feel I’ve kind of squandered a gift from the Gods!

  34. @pitbikemike

    Cluster B man. Gonna have to let chick go.

    “There are 3 billion chicks in the world, if a girl brings you ANY sort of drama or gives signs of cluster B shit, get the fuck out of there. Lie if you have to, it ain’t worth it, she’ll cut your dick off in your sleep. I don’t have a 3 strikes you’re out policy, they get 1 strike so I’m out before I’m too entrenched in her world”.

    http://yareallyarchive.com/search/?q=Cluster+b

  35. Mike

    Bizzarre mix of emotions. I’m anxious. A bit scared. I feel a bit bad for her, too. I’m worried about if I ever bump into her again. Worried about other ‘repercussions’ – I also have a weird feeling of ‘loss’ since she must legit hate me yet she was clearly into me at one point and it’s like I know I could never salvage anything with her which hurts because she’s like my dreamgirl to look at and I feel I’ve kind of squandered a gift from the Gods!

    WTF? R E L A X…

    This is all the FI man. There are no gifts from the gods, she is not your dreamgirl – prima facie case right here, She likely isn’t thinking at all about you… just another young girl out to party, maybe a bit high as well… a bit menstrual lolz…

    So go get some exercise, eat and go open a few more new girls. If you see her again just be a cool social guy that “gets it”… Betas make a big deal over sex – secret society guys don’t.

  36. I didn’t want to spell it out, but i’m concerned about her getting some epic ‘buyers remorse’ judging from her erratic behaviour and getting the police involved! That’s the main cause of my anxiety.

  37. What they all said.

    She does sound weird but in all likelihood nothing will come of it. Get on with your life like Sentient said.

    Not much you can do about the buyer’s remorse now (maybe send a text saying you enjoyed spending time with her or something – the idea isn’t to see her again but rather to get a return text saying the same thing so that just in case the police turn up you have proof of consent).

    But frankly nothing will happen – if she was going to complain she’d have done it by now.

    I understand why you’re concerned though – I had a weird situation in 2015 that I’ve posted about before and although it never became an actual FRA I can remember the sheer petrifying fear for a few days.

  38. Mike

    I didn’t want to spell it out, Duh… we know that…

    The reason you feel this is because you feel unworthy of her… The FRA thing is well blown out of proportion… But Blax is right there are no time machines… there is NOTHING you can do about it. Sent your comfort text? Bought her a McMuffin? So what… in a month or two or 30 years later… she can still make THE SAME CLAIMS… [ed. Yes I get you can bolster your claims and help mitigate “buyers” remorse, that’s not the point]. See Cosby…

    when i was 11… in 6th grade… a girl called my Mother and told her she was pregnant and I was the dad… lolz… a prank… but no matter once one is accused one is in a defensive posture…

    So…. again… R E L A X…

  39. Mike

    Remember what you feel she feels… if you feel weird and rapey when you see her or her friends or friends of her friends… just don’t.

    Or you can go down to the police station preemptively and tell those guys “hey really nothing happened here that wasn’t consensual, just want to let you know” and see how that shakes out…

  40. I make a habit of not fucking chicks that are crying ( unless it’s tears of joy ) or acting oddly hesitant. Guys get confused about LMR and can’t calibrate properly, because they read pua theory but aren’t experienced enough to read warning signs. Pua teaches to push past LMR. Risky proposition for inexperienced guys. Sometimes you gotta let the 10 go and look elsewhere.

    Learn Pitbike, or you may find police and charges in your future.

    Reading your fr, I see multiple signs before you got in the cab, where you should have cut your losses. You did not do so because you were blinded by this chick ( and still are to a great degree ).

    Remember, I’m not a pua or anything, but I do pay attention. I wish YaReally was indeed still posting because he’d write 6000 words of explanation for you that I cannot.

    Don’t be one of those guys that lose themselves over a woman. Stop brainwashing yourself over this chick. You’re still doing it even now.

    One can read a million pua books, watch thousands of hours of infield videos, but the goal is still for you to have a real understanding of the ” why’s “. That’s how your going to master Game. Most men will never do so because the why will always elude them, hence they will get laid but eventually crash and burn.

    Understand the WHY. Red Pill anyone?

  41. BTW that up there in Sentient’s post – is the single biggest thing from reading Ya’s posts that helped my resolve my own situation.

    When she was sitting outside my apartment in her car after rushing out of my place and texting me about how uncomfortable she felt about what had just happened inside (she gave me a HJ pretty much as soon as she came in because I opened the door in a towel)- I held my frame and didn’t apologize and imposed the right (positive) frame on it without apologizing or acting as if something had gone wrong.

    I’m convinced if I’d gone down the apology route or engaged with her concerns logically I’d have ended up in serious trouble.

    Subsequently Ya and HABD helped a lot in getting myself disengaged from her – but that instant decision that night was based on a lot of reading of Ya’s stuff and was the basis of fixing everything. It is CRUCIAL.

  42. Thanks, guys. I know you think i’m being melodramatic, but you kind of had to be there!
    I maybe didn’t do the situation justice in my write-up

    I’m gonna try to relax and will have a work out tonight.

    I’m assuming if a complaint was made, i’d find out about it rather soon even though she knows almost nothing about me? (like where I live, my number, my full name etc etc)

  43. You gotta be able to read the degrees of ” odd ” behavior.

    Is she acting a little strange because she’s nervous?

    Is she acting strange because she’s excited?

    Is she acting strange in anticipation of sex ( panties drenched )?

    Is she acting strange because she feels pressure? Maybe intimidation?

    Is she acting strange because she doesn’t know what else to do?

    Is she feeling obligated? Feeling like she might’ve lead you on? Maybe she should just let you have your way so that you will leave?

    Is she a slut that’s trying to change? Lol, happens more than you think. Chick has an n count in 4 digit territory, but wants to ” change ” but fucking you only depresses her. She failed.

    Is she acting strange because she is strange?

    See where I’m going? There’s more to it than ” hottest girl I’ve seen “.

    Anonymous SNL’s away from home/city ( no names exchanged ) are where you want to practice getting past flakey behavior, but you still gotta be smart. You still have to do they work. You still need to understand the why.

    Never trust a hoe. – Ice Cube.

    ….. In almost every rap he’s ever written.

  44. @blaximus

    ”Is she acting strange because she feels pressure? Maybe intimidation?”

    ”Is she feeling obligated? Feeling like she might’ve lead you on? Maybe she should just let you have your way so that you will leave?”

    yeah, these two are closest to what my thoughts are now with the benefit of hindsight, Especially since she’s only just recently turned 18 and the fact that we’d basically had an argument in her kitchen which must have put a serious hammer blow into the sexual tension!

  45. Mike

    yeah, these two are closest to what my thoughts are now with the benefit of hindsight,

    and yet a pimp might’ve bitched slapped her for real as well, and she’s begging him for more…

    get control of your frame.

  46. @Sentient

    and yet a pimp might’ve bitched slapped her for real as well, and she’s begging him for more…

    Fuckin’ A!

    Mike whined:
    Afterwards she turned her back to me and when I tried to make sure she was OK and stuff she kind of snapped and clearly wanted me too go away.

    get control of your frame.

    +1000

    Not trying to be a dick, Mike, but Sentient and Blax are telling you like it is and you’re not buying it because you’re being a pussy and buying into the bitch’s frame.

    Why was the bitch giving you mixed signals? Because you were giving her mixed signals.

    Mike 1: “I’m an alpha.”

    Mike 2: “No I’m not.”

    Mike 1: “Yes I am.”

    Mike 2: “No I’m not.”

    Mike 1: “Yes I am.”

    Mike 2: “No I’m not.”

    Do you see why you were so confusing to the girl? Do you understand why she was so confused? If a girl is giving you mixed signals, then she’s confused and she’s confused because you’re giving her mixed signals.

  47. the fact that we’d basically had an argument in her kitchen which must have put a serious hammer blow into the sexual tension!

    More like raised it x 1000…cats aren’t dogs…if a girl’s emotions get on a roller coaster, it amps up her sexual tension…

    Example of a girl’s emotions amping her sexual tension: Once when Mrs. Gamer and I were having a loud argument, she pulled off her panties and threw them at my face. At that point she was totally naked. We didn’t bang right then because I didn’t want to…however, 3x in the next 24 hours and she was very needy

  48. FR

    Had been looking forward to going back out all week and feel like I am starting to become more aware of the social dynamics involved in attraction thanks to continuing to read TRM and absorbing as many of the posts here as possible.

    All of my approaches have started with asking girls to dance at a place that I’m comfortable at so here are a couple that I can remember. These are from the combination of both nights. I danced with 20+ different women during that time span at least.

    1. Based upon advice here in other people’s FRs I’ve decided to work on chatting up whomever I’m near instead of waiting by myself for the band to setup or in-between dances when I’m cooling off. I introduced myself and started talking with another couple of guys who I’ve seen there semi-regularly and the conversation went well.

    2. HB7, from out of town. We danced together and had a good time. I was negging her a bit on her dance skills as she admitted that she was still working on learning the dance we were doing. Afterwards we talked for a bit and one of the first things she asks is what I do for work. I don’t know why I have such a hard time giving her a BS answer like “freelance garbage technician” and playing off of that but I’m sure that it’s confidence that is the culprit retrospectively. I also need to keep reading / learning on the types of conversations to have as I am able to evoke emotion but most of the conversation was more me layering questions on topics she brought up to keep things flowing but was not necessarily fostering emotional connection. I checked logistics and found out she was from out of town and leaving the next afternoon. My plan was venue change for some dessert then go “check out a great view I know of” and close from there but didn’t get there as she wandered away a bit which I took as a soft next. I didn’t let it phase me and one of the guys I chatted up in #1 stopped by for a conversation and I got to know him a bit better and we chatted about our dancing that night. I had kept my eye on HB7 and she took her purse and went to sit down during the downtime. As the next band came back on she walked back over to me and stood next my new friend and it seemed like she was listening in a bit. The band started and I told this guy to go dance with her and they did. Later I don’t remember if I danced with her again or not but nothing came of it.

    3. HB4, very forward, and she had a bit to drink (I’m not drinking). She asks me to dance and we go for it and she wants to dance close which is fine and I enjoy it. We part ways after the song and she finds me again later that night and we dance closer than before and get to grinding a bit. She could tell I was getting a excited and after the song ended she leaned in and we kissed once. I looked her in the face again and she was smiling and I decided I wasn’t attracted to her so I just went back to the outside of the crowd to find another dance partner. To be honest I was a bit taken back by how forward she was and like to think I could have closed that out but I didn’t want to despite the potential experience to be gained in the late-game scenario.

    4. HB6.5, we danced twice or so then I re-approached her and brought her into dance frame to show her some tips and get some eye contact. She was receptive so I chatted her up – she asks me what I do for work and I actually gave her a silly response which she found amusing but then followed it up with a generic description of what I actually do for work which she was interested in. The second band finished doing it’s thing so I led her outside to get some fresh air where we continued conversation. Talked a bit about some of my favorite things to which she responded unfavorably in a light-hearted manner so I walked away from her muttering “how dare you…” then turned back and we kept talking. Overall I feel like I can still improve but it worked well enough and I led her back to the dance floor where we got back into it and she started trying to implement my suggestions into her dance form which was causing her to mess up. The emotional height, looking back, was after I put her through a couple of turns and we executed them together perfectly and she was very happy but I did not escalate (nor think of it in the moment). It’s getting late, we dance with other people and she comes back to me to tell me she’s leaving so I got her number. As she’s walking out of the place another guy she was dancing with kind of half-heartedly stops her on her way out and they sort of half say goodbye awkwardly which seemed to indicate he wanted to talk to her more but she left anyways. I texted the next night to establish logistics and we are “going to get something to eat” Wednesday but I didn’t share details and told her I would text her Wed with specifics which she responded to favorably.

    5. HB5, I picked her out of the crowd when I was looking for new girls to dance with and she was somewhat forward as well as she tried to lead but I brought her back into following with, “Oh, you’re leading this, huh?” She apologizes and falls in line. I show her a good time and keep it simple to build her confidence and we part ways. A while later I see her looking around and she heads back to where I’m standing, find me, and grabs my hand by interlocking her fingers with mine and leads me over to her friends who she wants me to dance with as well. It was early in the night and I wasn’t attracted enough to act on the IOI she was clearly giving me after dancing with her friend who wasn’t as attractive.

    Based upon the feedback I got from my first FR I can really feel the FI sitting on top of my shoulders. My internal rationalization of not progressing with these girls is that I cannot see any but #2 or #4 as long term partners. #3 was clearly asking for it especially since the latter part of that encounter was 1a or so. I’m still learning as much as I can and applying what I learn in the meantime but it’s been a huge shift in mindset that I’ve been struggling with.

    Would appreciate any feedback on this and my last FR on p19 regarding the “creeper” scenario.

  49. Don’t know if this fits in to the other advice, but I thought this curated tip from Krauser might help in future game situations. Take it for what it is worth:

    Overt Sexuality

    Most guys are too nice.They completely underestimate how sexual girls are, how much they want sex, how quickly they will have sex, and how many horny thoughts go through their minds in everyday interactions with men. So once a guy breaks out of the nice guy trap, he tends to overcompensate in the other direction and become a foul-mouthed douchebag. It’s normal – swinging the pendulum to the opposite side. This will get occasional crazy lays when you happen to meet the right girl, but generally it will give you exciting street stops that lead to immediate blowouts or subsequent flakes. Why?

    You scared the girl away. All girls want it rough. All girls have rape fantasies BUT they don’t want their real life to be as extreme as the fantasies. When shit gets real they are likely to revert back to dismiss/disqualify. You’ve just given her an easy basis to disqualify you as “too aggressive,” or the more modern “creepy.” Secondly, girls want to communicate on the covert plane. When you have to state something overtly, it’s because you failed to convey that same information covertly. This reduces the tingles.

    Using your eyes to tell a girl you want to fuck her is far more powerful than using your mouth.

    Using playful banter to tell a girl you might rawdog her in the toilets is far more powerful than just stating it directly.

    Don’t come out and tell a girl what you want to do to her until you’re heating her up for extraction on the date (and sometimes, not even then). Give her plausible deniability. Let her feel the sexual vibe without calling attention to it on the overt verbal plan.

  50. @catchers

    “most of the conversation was more me layering questions on topics she brought up to keep things flowing but was not necessarily fostering emotional connection”

    Two things:

    1. The objective of talking with a woman is not conversation, it is emotion. Cut unproductive threads and introduce good threads like here:

    http://yareallyarchive.com/2013/3/#comment-heartiste-418271

    and here:

    2. You want to pace her reality and bring her into a sexual state:

    Doing those two things will help you close with girls you find sexually attractive.

    Good luck

  51. Having A Bad Day And Sentient and other men with kids

    Not sure if this is the right forum since I’m not asking about my wife but my kids.

    It is ironic in a way that the best resource I can think of to ask for advice on fatherhood is here, but there it is.

    My oldest is an almost 6 year old boy. I am going to have about 3 weeks alone with him on holiday soon with the rest of the family joining us later. Mostly in a city and some short road trips.

    I am running a MAP because I have some issues with my wife but she’s a good mother and wife but very very Blue Pill and we’re engaged in a constant frame battle that I’ve posted about before. She objects if I say things like “Boys are stronger than girls”. I feel like this is precious time for me to show my son a more Red Pill perspective on life generally without any interference from my wife.

    He’s too young to really talk in any depth so I think it will have to be a combination of talking to him about simple things, and showing him experiences. What, I don’t know. We will do activities. I think I remember reading a post on this blog about how boys should be introduced to “Male Spaces”. Should I be talking to other women and flirting with them and showing him how to behave?

    Any thoughts and advice appreciated. I know this is a vague question but I am vague on this issue. I just want to have a good time with my boy and start laying the foundations of the right values and fight back against the message he gets from the rest of the world. And do it now when he still hero worships me and my influence is the greatest it is going to be.

  52. The Marquis

    I just want to have a good time with my boy and start laying the foundations of the right values and fight back against the message he gets from the rest of the world.

    I am going to have about 3 weeks alone with him on holiday soon

    Three weeks at 6 years old is a looong time. Don’t wing it. Do some research before hand, have a plan. Here are some ideas.

    1. Zoo – show him around a zoo, compare the male and female of the species, discuss the differences.
    2. Fitness – take him to the gym with you, have him do some push ups and curl a really light weight. Explain how men are strong, squeeze his muscle and compliment his development over the 3 weeks.
    3. Building – take him to a large construction site, or a large train station with sidings etc… explain to him that men design and build. Get a big thing of legos and spend time coming up with crazy things to build in your room (this will be exhausting)… challenge him to figure out ways to make things taller. sturdier etc.
    4. explore – find some trails, pack a lunch and show him how to explore. Cut some sticks as waling sticks, give him a pocket knife to sharpen the end into a little spear. Go of the trail some. teach him how to navigate by sun, tell time by sun etc. explain to him that men have explored the entire world and the moon. Point out the wild life, if you can, build a little lean to as a base camp for lunch. Bonus points if you are someplace you can start a fire (flints and magnifying glasses are great). Double bonus points if you can camp out over night and cook something over the fire.
    5. Fish – take him fishing. If you don’t know how hire a guide. Bonus points for cleaning and eating your catch.
    6. Shoot – get him a pellet pistol or even an airsoft (some cool cheap ones) and teach gun safety and how to shoot. set up some cans and keep score.
    7. Movie Night – watch classic movies… original Planet of the Apes, classic WW2 movies, Rudy, maybe Gladiator and LoTR (depends on your comfort) etc. Discuss the male themes in each… loyalty courage duty honor tribe etc.
    8. Socialization – take him to a pub, sit him on the bar stool with a big mug of root beer. watch a game and socialize with the other men. flirt with the women. They will eat him up.
    9. Steak Night – go out and have a big ass steak… challenge him to finish his… discuss what is good in life.
    10. Museums – discuss science and art, how men create both.
    11. Read – Read aloud with him, Aesop’s Fables, Robinson Crusoe (looong), Treasure Island…

  53. 12. Go Carts – lots of fun too…

    This here She objects if I say things like “Boys are stronger than girls”. arm wrestle her in front of him… lols

  54. A technique I’ve used twice now and has been positive is something like: assuming the sale…but not right now…

    A month back I met a girl at party, I gamed her but realized that ejecting her at the party would immediately activate her ASD and she’d blow me off….So I got her number, she texted me “hi”—at the party to confirm the number. So I knew it was on.

    As I was leaving I said: “I’m leaving now…I’d ask you for a drink but have to work tomorrow, but let’s do that drink tomorrow. I’ll text you.”

    She agreed, we met and she was open. I never banged her because she told me she was married and I just didn’t want the drama…at that time.

    But I tried this a second time at a party the other night. I danced with a girl I had met a week prior. I teased her, held her close, then I looked deep into her eyes. She responded by smiling.

    Then I said: “I’ve got to leave early because I have a business trip…but I’ll be back Friday, come out to the Latin night…and we’ll go for drinks after that…Sound good?”

    She smiled….and hugged me. Her English may not be great. But the tone, body language and confidence seemed to prompt her to be physical with me.

    Breaking it down:

    I assume she’s going to say yes to me….
    I tell her why I can’t go along with that right now…..
    I then set up another potential meet up: compliance—if she voluntarily comes out, it’s on
    Then I tell her I’m going to pull her for drinks.

    I’ve had a few flakey number calls recently and realized the girl was not totally invested. If I know I sparked attraction but realize she could flake….I postpone the meet up on MY TERMS.’

    This may have a name: Postponement game?

    Will let you know if it works a second time after the weekend.

  55. J

    HB: Do you always say that to girls?
    Chopan: (smile). What’s your name?
    HB: Michelle. Whats yours?
    Chopan: Michelle… michelle…. She who resembles God
    HB: What?
    Chopan: Your name. It means she who resembles God. Tell me something Michelle… have you ever been to France?
    HB: Yes, Paris 2 years ago, I loved it. How do you know about my name?
    Chopan: This is a great song. Come on lets go dance

    Do you guys see how this goes? Here is the key: Your mental state during conversations should be that she is already yours. So you are playing a cute game with her. But you already know the end of this story.

    Solid. This is how leading goes from thought to action.

  56. wala – “This may have a name”

    Cat String Theory… also known as DNGTWTWWTEI – Do Not Give Them What They Want When They Expect It. simple to remember and covers a lot of ground.

  57. Marquis

    13. MMA – watch fights, bonus points if you can get to a local life event. Teach him some basics of striking, guard, grappling. Practice with him. Teach him to strike back if provoked etc.

  58. Marquis

    14 – Contact – put your fucking phone away, computer etc. and LOOK him in the eye when you are speaking with him. same for him – other than when you watch something together, no screens. be out and about. sit in the park, coffee places etc. walk around the city and look at sites… Contact.

  59. @Marquis Sentient

    Sentient is giving you great advice… one thing to be sure to do while you are engaged in those activities is to ask him

    “so, what do you think about that?…” (about whatever…)

    and then wait for him to think about it and tell you… mostly kids (and especially boys today) don’t get anyone actually listening to what they think about stuff…

    also, you can have him take the lead when you do stuff (you can help him but don’t do it for him… and then let him ‘suffer the consequences/figure it out/get the reward’ for his actions…) … like have him figure out how to get to the monkey exhibit at the zoo, for example… or actually make sandwiches for both of you for lunch…

    mostly kids are much more capable than adults (especially girls) will let them demonstrate/expect…

    and making fire is cool…lol… and you can do that in the park picnic area (on the grills) if you are not ‘in nature’…

    also, plan for some physical activity for a couple times a day to burn off some energy…

    good luck!

  60. @TheMarquis – wow, 6 yo and 3 weeks w/out mommy? That right there might be the biggest issue, how to keep his mind off mommy, especially at bedtime.

    Regardless, excellent time to show him daddy can be way more fun. Sentient’s suggests are great. Also might be the only time I can remember Sentient giving specific, prescriptive actionable advice lol

    And never forget, they watch *everything*. For me, one of my biggest eureka moments was the realization that the best way to teach him how to be a man was to BE that man. If you’re not already that man (like I wasn’t), you must come to terms with two facts: 1) this means you don’t want your son to be like you, and 2) you are not the man YOU want to be.

    After picking my shattered ego, I was able to use this anger/dismay/frustration/shame to formally start my RP journey. Not only has he brought me immeasurable amounts of joy and happiness, my son has been the best thing to ever happen to me because otherwise, I might have lived my whole life a permanent resident of Chumpsville, BP.

  61. ” . . . one of my biggest eureka moments was the realization that the best way to teach him how to be a man was to BE that man.”

    Primo: Where did you learn our language?
    Secundo: I listened.

  62. “Kerim had been firm about the evening. Bond had wanted to stay in his hotel room and wait for the first contact to be made—a note, a telephone call, whatever it might be. But Kerim had said no. The girl had been adamant that she would choose her own time and place. It would be wrong for Bond to seem a slave to her convenience. ‘That is bad psychology, my friend,’ Kerim had insisted. ‘No girl likes a man to run when she whistles. She would despise you if you made yourself too available. From your face and your dossier she would expect you to behave with indifference—even with insolence. She would want that. She wishes to court you, to buy a kiss’—Kerim had winked—‘from that cruel mouth.”

    From Russia With Love –Ian Fleming

    Bond, the “lady’s man” of the movies, being lectured on how to deal with women by the actual lady’s man of the novel.

  63. @sentient

    Typical. Whenever proven incorrect, you refuse to acknowledge your mistake and instead spew insults.

    No, you were utterly and provably wrong about yareally not having friends outside of game. One again, you wrote:

    https://therationalmale.com/field-reports/comment-page-13/#comment-192314

    Complete delusion… go read the archive. He stated numerous times his main hobby was being alone, being online, posting about PUA and that he avoided doing things with his “friends” outside of that he found it boring and energy draining.

    Now… PUT. THAT COFFEE. DOWN!

    Here you state that I was “delusional” for believing yareally had friends outside of game, and that I should look through the yareally archive to see how wrong I was.

    Yet I went through the archive, and found the exact opposite:

    https://therationalmale.com/field-reports/comment-page-13/#comment-192320


    JUNE 25th, 2016
    I have all sorts of goals outside of poon, but I don’t share them here because I’m not trying to make friends or anything here. You won’t ever see me talk about my career or hobbies or anything because I’m just here to discuss pickup. I have buddies in real life to talk about that other stuff with.

    SEPTEMBER 30th, 2013
    So I donated like 90% of my clothes (somewhere out there are some homeless people wearing stylish $300 clubbing jeans etc lol) and basically shifted my focus more toward chasing experiences rather than material goods. Cancelled my TV cable, stopped buying new videogame consoles, etc and just went outside or focused on hobbies or socialized instead.

    If I ever fall on extremely hard times financially, I have a fuckton of friends via my socializing who’s lives I bring value to that wouldn’t hesitate to help me out if I needed it…because instead of buying a new pair of $300 shoes, I used that $300 to hop a flight to visit them and have fun together and bond.

    FEBRUARY 13th, 2015
    I don’t have an interest in doing this full-time, I have other shit to do…this is just a hobby because I enjoy deconstructing and explaining social dynamics. I don’t want to build my success in life off pickup, I have other ambitions outside of this that are completely unrelated to poon.

    It helps remind myself of the basics and helps make me a better teacher to refine my explanations. It’s also good mental exercise to re-study a concept and think about how it applies to my own current reference experiences. The stuff I do outside of pickup challenges my brain as well. Discussing pickup for me is like grabbing a guitar and crooning out some tunes to relax after a long day is for other people.

    MAY 16th, 2016
    To be clear, I’ve also got male friends I don’t do pickup with and who aren’t a part of that world at ALL (and are fully Blue Pill’ed, some settled down with kids etc). But right now at the point in my life where I’m working on self-development, my buddies who are into overall self-development/pickup are more relatable and offer more value because they aren’t sitting around watching Game of Thrones, they’re out working on their personal goals (even outside of pickup) and we support and motivate eachother.

    So, in point of fact, YOU are the delusional one.

    This is why I harp on about how bad you often are at teaching (in general, but especially for newbies) because you are incapable of comprehending anything that falls outside of your opinions or world views. Its inconceivable that yareally could be a well rounded guy who simply has different opinions than you. No, he must have serious flaws, he must actually be a deeply depressed friendless bum who lives a dreary meaningless existence. That’s how you could read through the archive where he CLEARLY states his non-pua friends and hobbies, and yet your mind distorted your memory of that so much that you could call me delusional for stating this unimpeachable fact.

    Its the same thing with me — since I’m an incel, I MUST be an socially awkward greasy neckbearded bronie…despite the fact that from the get go I had people buying me beers, inviting me to go along with them to bars, jumping into groups of complete strangers and chatting with them for hours on end…etc etc

    As in, right over this past month, when I was in the depths of depression over my heath (before it started to turn around here recently) I STILL went out and chatted up people. Four of the most significant were:

    1) talked with a complete stranger for an hour, got into a deep religious conversation, and the guy said “you know, I’ve never talked with someone about religion like this before.”

    2) had a funny convo with a bitter divorcee…also total stranger…her husband left her for a neighbor lol. but as I got to know her more, she opened up to me about how she actually liked to have her husband fuck other women, she liked to watch him do it. That’s why she was so pissed over the neighbor deal…she would have been cool with it had he told her, because she would have wanted to join in lol!

    3) big family at bar. joined in, everyone was super nice to me, giving me free drinks and food and stuff. ends up they thought I was a relative, but they didn’t want to ask for fear of insulting “cousin hank” lol! Eventually they figured it out, thought I was a lovable rascal for infiltrating their little family get together (honestly wasn’t trying to exploit them lol, that’s why I kept asking when they offered me food “you’re sure? I’ll take it if you don’t want it) and I hung out with them for another 2 hours and got a bunch of cool recipes from them.

    4) a bunch of customers I know from work were going to an event, and all of them personally requested I go. As soon as they heard about it, they were all “we have to invite hank.” My boss literally forced me to go, lol, because all the customers were requesting my presence. It was a fun time, gonna have another event like that in a few months.

    Oh yeah and there was also that bit about my boss repeatedly hitting on me that I was asking blax about advice on a few weeks ago…

    But clearly I’m just a socially awkward bronie lol.

    You’ve got a lot of valuable experience and knowledge to give people, you’ve just got to learn how to calibrate your teachings to individual people, and cater it to their specific backgrounds and environments. Problem is, you are terrible at that, and you are reduced to shouting insults whenever something doesn’t match up 100% to your personal experience or opinions.

  64. @hank

    I don’t get the infighting, personally. Especially the amount of time you spent in an attempt to prove your point. If that is important to you then so be it but it’s not helping out the greater good of this community in my opinion.

  65. @pitbikemike

    congrats on the 9.

    you got two lays in like two days. are you feeling less negative now lol? keep it up. don’t let up now.

    the other guys have covered the girl being crazy lol. main thing is just don’t apologize. she feels what you feel. if you feel like something bad happened, she will too. if you feel like nothing bad happened, that it was a good thing you two did, then she will too.

    next time you want to make sure to have plenty of aftercare to help avoid a FRA: cuddle with her a bit after sex and go for breakfast with her the next day.

    but you also want to watch out for red flags and bail if you get to many. this girl had too many lol. The fact that you thought “this girl is nuts!” is telling…if you think that again, you’re probably right. Plus your friend thought the same thing of her…

    So, NICE! You got a 9, and this fucking early on. Way to go dude! Buut just be more careful next time. Don’t get so blinded by looks…there are always more 9’s. So if you have a bad feeling about a chick, just bail.

    But what I’d tell you dude! And you were worried you might not ever get laid!

    @walawala

    I like that postponement game idea. I’ll have to try it out sometime.

    @catchersindifference

    Based upon advice here in other people’s FRs I’ve decided to work on chatting up whomever I’m near instead of waiting by myself for the band to setup or in-between dances when I’m cooling off. I introduced myself and started talking with another couple of guys who I’ve seen there semi-regularly and the conversation went well.

    Yeah always be opening. It’ll warm you up, make you less stalkerish (you aren’t darting around like a tiny fish trying to pick at bits of food, instead you are leasurly floating around chatting up everyone), and makes it easier to merge groups (since you will have talked to pretty much everyone in a short order). If you can, watch politicians (good ones anyway) work a room…you’ll notice they take the time to personally meet everyone in the room.

    Bill Clinton had a thing called the deep bump I belive. He’d only talk to people for a short time, but he’d grab them by the arm, stare deep into their eyes, and give them a warm smile. People would say they felt like his entire existence was listening to them speak. Bill’s a slimeball, but you can still learn from him. Point is, going around chatting up everyone (even if very briefly) is what VIPs do at any event, and you want to be a VIP.

    To be honest I was a bit taken back by how forward she was and like to think I could have closed that out but I didn’t want to despite the potential experience to be gained in the late-game scenario.

    well yeah because she’s a 4. That’s how less attractive girls get laid…they are sexually agressive, because they have to be. no guy is going to be like “oh wow, a 4, I totally want to go out of my way to bang her” lol, but if she can grind all up on you and give you a boner, you might just end up too horny to care what she looks like.

    Yeah you are doing good on this, you got quite a few iois from dancing…dancing is a good dhv if you can do it right. This would actually make a great location for a day 2, especially if some of these same girls show up. You can dance a bit with your date, then dance a bit with other girls for a bit to show you are preselected and to make your date jealous. If you can dance, this is definitely a good venue for you, either to start in or for a day 2. Keep it up.

    @blax

    okay, thinking ahead to May when I will be going out and seriously gaming again (for the first time in like 3 months damit! been too long!) assuming my heath keeps improving.

    I want to go to some all black venues, well, there’s really just one I know of. But I’m a little worried since I will be the only white dude there and I’m still going to have my sleep issues so I’ll be tired and low energy (like I’ve always been) and my voice is also naturally quiet. So I’m a little concerned about jumping into those groups.

    Any tips?

    A lot of black people seem to really like me (not sure why actually, but then most people usually like me so maybe its just being social is all) but I’m still a little nervous about it.

  66. @hank I’m still reading through all of the comments but wonder if you working with a wingman might help you out a bit with your energy / focus? Someone you can play off of with a good personality that can drag you through the low spots of a night. Good luck

  67. @sentient

    lol, not surprised. you can’t even acknowledge you were wrong.

    @catchersindifference

    well, firstly I have a lot of time while I wait to heal up lol, so that’s part of the reason.

    But the deeper issue is that many (not all) of the older guys think that just because they are older, they know everything, and if you ever question them on anything then they just insult you.

    They also make numerous untrue statements about yareally, who was one of the best guys to teach game here and is no longer here to defend himself.

    I simply correct their errors.

    When confronted with the fact that they are wrong, instead of acknowledging their mistakes, they simply insult me. Because for these uber authentic manly men, its just too gruesomely difficult to say “oops, sorry, guess I was wrong here. lets move on.”

    Now where this is really important is a lot of these guys want to teach guys new to game. Sentient is the main old guy who likes to teach newbies. Problem is, most newbies are starting out from a low place, with few or no positive male influences, few friends, and little to no experience with women. Its a very different situation than previous generations had. Sentient has no experience with this, and is simply incapable of wrapping his mind around the headspace most newbies are starting from. So while sentient has a lot of great advice, and can teach well enough to more immediate puas, he’s very bad at teaching newbies because he often can’t calibrate it to them. He can’t relate to what they are going through.

    So that’s where you have sentient constantly depict me as a greasy awkward dude simply because I am an incel, despite the fact that I have all these people buying me stuff and inviting me to events and such. If you are an incel, in sentient world, you MUST be an awkward nerd. But if you read any of my FRs, its obvious I am a very social guy and most people like me a lot. However, once again, in sentient world if you are an incel you MUST be social awkward, and he persists on the caricature of me even when all the evidence points to the contrary

    Whereas by contrast, yareally was very good at understanding where people were coming from, and that’s whenever he used to help me out he could see that yes I was incel, but I was still extroverted and decently socially skilled. That was obvious from peoples reactions to me in my FRs. He could see I was working in a small town environment with few venues and very few girls I am attracted to. That’s not ideal, and progress will be slow in such a situation. He always used to say that everything I was doing was really just practice for when I moved to a better city. So while yes, incels are often socially akward, yareally actually took the time to read my FRs and consider my situation, and that’s where he could see I was a social guy who just hadn’t yet learned how to be sexual with girls yet.

    Sentient can’t do that though — if you are an incel you MUST be socially awkward. No exceptions. Which means that he can’t very well cater advice to my situation (or anyone else like me) because he’s giving advice as if I were an awkward nerdy guy instead of the social but sexually inexperienced guy I actually am.

    See where that’s a problem? Its like teaching a guy to hunt squirrels when in actuality he’s going to be hunting bear. If you want to teach, you have to teach specifically to that one person and their situation.

    Like I said though not all older guys are like this. Blax is one of the best older guys. He had very early success with women, so can’t really quite relate to being an incel later in life, but he CAN wrap his head around it and so kind of imagine what it would be like, and gives pretty good advice as a result.

    That’s why I often ask him for advice an help.

    And, despite the fact that blax had A LOT of issues with yareally, he can still acknowledge that he was good at teaching newbies. That’s why when he heard of pitbikemike’s trouble with his crazy chick, he wrote:

    Remember, I’m not a pua or anything, but I do pay attention. I wish YaReally was indeed still posting because he’d write 6000 words of explanation for you that I cannot.

    See? He can acknowledge that someone is good at something, even if he doesn’t agree with everything he says.

    Its the something with sentient. I don’t like the guy, and think he’s a legit asshole, but I can still acknowledge the guy has experience and knowledge and has a lot to offer intermediate puas, even if he isn’t so good with newbies.

    And yet, Sentient can’t even admit he was wrong about yareally. You see how silly that is? To promote being an authentic, passionate, tough guy…yet when proven wrong all you can do is huff and puff and insult the guy that proved you wrong?

    So its a big deal to me when you have someone that’s gonna be teaching newbies…yet he can’t admit he’s wrong ever, can’t admit he has any weaknesses, and can be so off on reading what people are actually like as he is with me.

    If he stuck to more advanced guys like culum, I’d have no issue, but he’s also tries to teach newbies and there’s a fair chance he’ll fuck up a newbie with his advice. So that’s why I take so much time to point out these things, so that newer guys like pitbikemike can see the situation and make appropriate decisions for themselves.

    Also, its just really funny to keep proving sentient wrong, and watch how he keeps avoiding admitting it and just insulting me instead!

    Oh, and as for the wingman thing, I’m aware. I haven’t yet found a good wingman, but back in January I was going out and getting the numbers of all the people I talked with at the bars for longer than about 30min so we could hang out later. Had a asian dude with a lot of hot sisters, a couple, and two younger dudes, etc. Unfortunately that’s when I got really sick and so I was out of commission for these past 3 months. But I’ve been getting better, and hopefully I be better in May, and then I’ll pick up where I left off.

  68. @TheMarquis

    Women are like kids, kids are like women. Lead. Have things to do in the pipeline, know where you’re going and what you’re going to do together. Have boundaries and stick to them. Demonstrate. Be congruent. Have fun.

    My 6 year old is an introvert. FI has it easier to push on him – he defaults to “a nice guy” who doesn’t cross the line, let’s his logical hamster stop him from acting and avoids stressful situations. Not a risk taker. I know I was like that too. But this little one has me.

    I prank him a lot and he loves it. It’s a form of ball busting, shit testing among men. A year or so ago he’d go to his mom and complain. Today, he knows it’s the way we interact, a way to get creative, challenge each other, test our limits.

    We fight. His punches are solid and he gets better and better. It’s painful for both of us (quadriceps and deltoids ache afterwards every time), quite often there’s an accident and tears, yet it’s still fun and we continue regardless. His mom can’t watch us fighting and we just ignore it. Now she accepts this is how boys spend time together, but still prefers to leave.

    We play games and practise sports together. Football, basketball, tennis, swimming. He’s too small to win and gets annoyed that he can’t compete with me, but knows that one day he will beat the shit out of me. I balance the competition with team play and working together towards a goal. I don’t let him win, so when it becomes problematic, I move his attention to different aspects and just change it slightly. I adjust to his level and state, and keep it challenging without making it mission impossible.

    We play board games. Cooperative ones to learn that going after instant gratification alone makes everyone fail. Competitive ones to show that there are many ways to compete with others, to get sharper, to deal with not being a winner. He can easily grasp the rules even if the games are for 10+ or 14+ year olds. I invite my friends to join to have a men night where everyone can participate and he enjoys the fact that he’s part of it at the same level.

    Which brings me to socializing with others. Spending time with friends, talking to strangers. Opening and interacting with people around.

    At a mall. Junior (then 5yo) asks if we could go to a toy shop to look at toys. I’m about to say no, but realize I could use it to challenge him. – Fine – I say – but you need to give three random people a high five. – I can’t do that! – he responds. – That’s fine, we’ll just go elsewhere – I stare at him. – Dad, you know I’m shy. – Son, it only sounds scary, look – and I stop a young HB that happens to be passing by. – Excuse me – I state politely and have her full attention for a second – is it fine if you give my son a high five? I point at him and she is a bit confused, but opens up quickly and raises her hand with a big smile. – Two to go, son – I cheer him up. We walk over to some stall in an open space where an HB approaches us and tries to explain what they sell. I just smile and don’t respond, so she moves on to someone else. – Dad, you didn’t ask her to give me a high five!? – It’s your task, son. – Ooohhhkaaay – he says and follows her. I look at them from a distance, her talking to another man and junior in the middle looking up, waiting for her to finish. She notices him and stops. He tells her something and gets what he wanted. He’s excited, his state is pumped up, so I just tell him “this one!”. He runs into an empty travel agency where I can see a bored HB behind a desk staring at her laptop. It’s a high desk, she can’t see him, so he needs to walk around and approach from the side. She jumps up when he taps her leg and she looks around to see if this is a prank. She sees me laughing and realizes the kid asking for a favour is with me. Mission accomplished.

    There’s also a funny story with a topless HB at a beach where we go to introduce ourselves and talk about the weather… but you get the jist of it.

    We have our routines and he knows when he has my full attention, proper quality time together. No phones, no screens. It’s when I listen to him and we do what he would like to do with me (although he knows I need to enjoy it a bit too or at least not be bored quickly). I have this booked in my calendar. He has his own calendar where he draw things to do with me to learn about, visit, try. At the age of 6, he has build his own radio, studied tarantulas (holding a live one is on his bucket list), get things done at a shop or a restaurant by himself, put up a tent and use a magnifying glass to start a fire. This is powerful stuff, both for bonding and discipline.

    Punishment is the lack of my attention (and removal of cheap distractions), no need for anything more. Manage expectations, don’t break the agreements and you can get what you want when you want. Offer quality time, but make it clear when you have your alone time too. You will need that balance during your three weeks too.

  69. I’m kind of amazed at the strength of Sentient and IRL’s recommendations. Sure is nice to not fly by the seat of your pants at parenting.

    It kind of makes me reminisce about having zero advice from my father, uncles or grandfathers (who I never met) in raising my son.

    I think due to genetics and resources (good support from me and his mom) that he is in a good place to actually proceed. ( And I hope he gets a good sentence on his latest misdemeanor
    assault charge tomorrow morning.)

    (BTW I really admire my daughter and her qualities too.)

    Red pill parenting is a process of redirecting energies from bad to good. Giving a good example of how to not be Beta for sons and how to be feminine for daughters. But investing resources in a manner that is Unconditional Love. Mothers do it in their form. Fathers do it in their form and both parents have to be complementary in that investment. Masculine parenting has to be put up there along feminine parenting.

    Which is why I admire those two commenter’s advice.

    The best thing to do is to remember and redirect your son’s motives and skills to Jack Donovan’s development of masculine tactical virtues. I was lucky that my community (teachers, team sports and coaches helped out with that, cause no one gave me the fucking memos.)

    A boy needs to develop the tactical virtues of men: Strength, Courage, Mastery and Honor (among men). (which is precisely what the advice by Sentient and IRL were directed towards).

    And they need to get that direction at a young age to naturally proceed against the wall of Feminism and Feminine Supremacism.

    I’m proud of you two’s recommendations. Great stuff.

  70. @ Hank

    Hey bro. Tips? Let’s see…..

    Black venues are dependent on what town or even part of town they’re in. There are clubs in NYC ( uptown ) I would not venture into. The odds aren’t in my favor. Could be a wonderfully great evening, could be heavy gunplay and a fleet of ambulances.

    But you can get a feel for what kind of vibe. Do guys outnumber girls by a substantial number? Are guys dancing and laughing or having fun, or are the bulk of them kinda just standing with their back’s up against the wall? Nowadays it’s tougher to tell the real deal dudes from the posers. Depending on where you are, there may not be any real deal dudes. So there’s that.

    The low energy thing might be a hindrance, but not always. You might come off as mysterious. When I was younger I was very quiet. I didn’t really speak unless I had something to say. I sucked donkey ass when it came to small talk. Oddly, people – especially girls, found it to be ” cool “. Lol. But as a general rule of thumb, the average black chick out for a night is expecting to be Gamed, and is looking for it. So muster up enough energy to project your skillz.

    As far as your being ” white “, folks are very accepting 90% of the time. It’s not so much about skin color as it is what kind of dude you are. I drag my Caucasian brothers all over the place with me and not once did things go ” racial “.

    … well once….

    I went into a club in Harlem with an Asian friend and a White friend, and when we walked in a bartender announced over the loudspeaker: ” A white man, black man and Asian walk into a bar…” and all eyes were on us as everyone burst into raucous laughter. The 3 of us tensed up momentarily, but then realized everything was cool.

    Check things out. If you aren’t feeling it, then jet. No harm, no foul. But don’t be overly concerned about the color of your skin because it’s not really an overriding factor.

    To expand just a little as to why some venues are dangerous, there are parts of given cities where 1) unemployment is high, 2) Gangs make living harder than it has to be, 3) Too many guys raised by single mothers. These knuckleheads react like women with the drama and hysterics. 4) guys are always ” on edge ” because the area is rough. They’ve had to fight so much that it’s a hair-trigger reaction for them. Fists are engaged while brain is still in neutral.

    These types of places are the exception and not the rule.

    So do your Hank thing. Be social and fun. If you like it, you can become more of a regular. Then you’ll find people shouting your name when you walk in. Try not to be nervous because it messes with your energy and vibe. Just be aware. Aware is better than nervous. It takes repetition. How do you think I rush into latin/salsa clubs and snatch chicks out onto the dancefloor? Repetition. ( plus it helps that I married a hot ass Latina…lol ) .

    I get what your feeling though. I have been the only black face in a crowd on numerous occasions. And with the exception of one night in Alabama, no one really gave half a fuck. Plus, I’m not a mind reader, lol.

    So feel better, do what you feel like doing, and don’t sweat shit.

  71. @hank

    Go to the AfropolitianDC for Cinco de Mayo (Look it up on Eventbrite)

    Here’s a review left by a commentator on the RooshV Forum:

    “If you want to meet black girls who behave more like European girls, this is highly recommended. You will hear English, French, Pidgin, Swahili, Igbo, Yoruba, etc. spoken there, and songs in all those languages. I was told there is also an after-party after 10 where they also play rap, but I cannot say anything about it as as we left before this.

    Talent–I didn’t see any supermodels, but there were quite a few very cute girls, who were not at all bitchy. If you like some tight, serious ass, this is a place for you. Of course there were a few usual land whales, but they were in a distinct minority.

    Do dress up–I saw people in cocktail dresses, suit and tie. It appears Africans do not look down on good dress and manners. I was one of the 2 or 3 other white guys there, and I never felt threatened or uncomfortable or unwelcome in any way. Very enjoyable experience overall”

    Two other spots to that have good looking black girls in the area are Bar 7 on 7th Street and The Park on 14th.

  72. “Nowadays it’s tougher to tell the real deal dudes from the posers.”

    O.K. Now I’m intrigued. How do you size up a club, “scene”, or such?

  73. ” O.K. Now I’m intrigued. How do you size up a club, “scene”, or such?”

    As a guy, the number one thing is the ratio of males to females. Are the guys actively gaming the girls, or even speaking to them? Some dudes are bitches, and competition makes them feel badly.

    And if there are a bunch of angry looking cats lining the walls, never venturing out to dance or talk to women/people – just kinda sulking, thars trouble somewhere in that group.

    Used to be once upon a time that guys could size up people in an establishment by the style and manner of dress. Those days are gone, POOF!!!! vanished. Posers look just like the mean guys, because they have the same fashion senses ( zero ) gleaned from the same sources. Ditto for hairstyles.

    A club is supposed to be a place of music, dancing and good times. Keep an eyeball on dudes not having any of those things. Or the overly drunk and quick tempered type who will usually make a statement to the effect of ” you think you’re so ( tough, cool )” , or something similar. I NEVER advise guys to turn their backs on these guys. There are people in the world that do not understand the meaning of de-escalation.

    If there is any danger present, the level increases the later it gets.

    Another thing to ponder is, why would a club have a half dozen bouncers? Is it precaution or necessity?

    But you learn from repetition and being observant. Like most things in life, patterns will emerge. When I bounced at a strip club, eventually I could spot the potentially troublesome dude 10 minutes after he enters. You develop a radar. Intimidation of customers, of any kind, would be squashed or you’d be escorted out. If you declined to be escorted, you’d get thrown out. If you have a problem with being thrown out, you’d get knocked out. Lol. But I’ve never had to engage in fisticuffs with customers, and I’d only had to escort a few out. A majority of people just want to enjoy themselves.

    Myself, when I’m out and I get threatened in any manner, I NEVER engage my antagonist in ANY conversation. I let him do all the talking. Maybe he’ll call me a fag or a punk and then walk away. Maybe he’ll take a swing and catch an overhand right upside his hard head.

    But that’s me.

    Assholes can show up anywhere. This is America and we can move about fairly freely. Thing is, what’s the ratio in any given place? Look like an asshole convention? Time to go. Your best friends are going to be your eyes and ears.

    Other than all that, go have some fun!!

  74. Thank you to everyone who responded to me. I’m touched everyone’s taken the time to share their experiences and offer suggestions.

    Sentient

    That list is amazing thank you. I have copied it and will do as many of those things with him as I can. I’ve just checked on MMA and the only place I can find has a 12 age restriction. But maybe I can find a boxing or martial arts exhibition.

    He’s obsessed with fighting and weapons and violence and I don’t have a problem with that per se but there are worrying signs of not being in control of his aggression in school and that needs to be stamped on hard (someone else talked about play fighting with him – I think I may have to do that). I used to be into martial arts in college but stopped a long time ago. I may need to get back into it and also get him to “work out” with me. But that’s something for another post another day – the frame battle with his mother about his upbringing. Just had another one yesterday with his teacher complaining about his “aggression”.

    Also I tell him his bedtime story every night. I just make up something or tell stories based on comic books. I may need to emphasise different themes.

    I already do some Lego with him. He loves it but it is exhausting and he tends to lose interest after about 30 minutes.

    Having A Bad Day

    I try to ask him his opinion and listen to him but he is very good at changing the subject and talking about superheroes and asking me something instead of actually talking about his day in school. It takes a lot of energy to pin him down to the original question.

    Dr Zipper

    I know exactly what you mean by “Chumpsville, BP”. Particularly after reading this blog for some time – it’s really given me the motivation to improve myself and be an example to him. It’s one of the big reasons for running a MAP on my wife.

    I didn’t even think about how much he’d miss mom for three weeks to be honest. This is the longest time he’ll be away from her especially since we won’t be at home. But 10 to 14 days without mommy happens several times a year because my wife also travels for work and I have the kids by myself when she’s away. And he’s okay with it. But it’s different when it’s at home.

    IRL

    This is great stuff. My son is an extrovert and very social and good at pushing people’s buttons. To be honest, I’m closer to your son’s personality than my son is. Only my dad didn’t know how to draw me out and is an introvert himself, although a great guy in other ways.

    But still the activities and approach will be similar, but I need to nudge him in different directions. He’s all about being at the centre of his own world, which is great, but he needs more self-control and awareness.

  75. Eh / Blax

    O.K. Now I’m intrigued. How do you size up a club, “scene”, or such?

    Neighborhood? No cops around for blocks? Cinder block building? Vinyl “sign”? No dress code? Metal detectors? Full pat down prior to entry? Bouncers in street clothes? Multiple shootings reported? Fatalities?

  76. @TheMarquis

    Having A Bad Day

    I try to ask him his opinion and listen to him but he is very good at changing the subject and talking about superheroes and asking me something instead of actually talking about his day in school. It takes a lot of energy to pin him down to the original question.

    that’s the FI in play…

    that’s why it’s so important to get him to state his opinion… the FI is already pushing on him… bc boys are not supposed to have any opinion that is not supportive of ‘feminine primary’…= FI… and kids don’t put others first… they actually can’t, they are not emotionally/intellectually developed enough… so, he avoids the subject… bc he gets shamed for being ‘himself’…

    so, get him to talk to you about what he thinks… just keep leading him back there… and you could posit the question in terms of superheros…

    “what do you think batman would think about that?…” and then ask him what he thinks about THAT idea…

    you will sort of have to ease into him having his own opinion… and make sure that he knows he can be ‘safe’ when he tells you his ideas/opinions… bc he gets shamed everywhere else in his life for having his own MPoO and putting himself first…

    good luck!

  77. @Blax

    why would a club have a half dozen bouncers?

    I regularly go to one where there are about a dozen, all in club T-shirts. Rarely are there problems in the club…the bouncers help the cabbies if the cabbies get stiffed and there’s security actively patrolling the parking lot at all times. There are bouncers by the cashiers. Bouncers help collect empty glasses and keep drinks off the dance floor. Bouncers move tables for a concert. Bouncers aren’t allowed to punch patrons, so a squad of five will quickly act if there’s a fight and wrestle the fighters to the ground. Once a couple of bouncers were pushed by a ginormous guy into my space, so I helped the bouncers.

    Why wouldn’t a club have half a dozen bouncers?

  78. @TheMarquis

    It helps boys to see adult men interacting. Boys learn a lot from that. Why not occasionally bring your kids to observe you and your friends?

  79. @Sentient

    No metal or wood or glass in the bar–all plastic…reduces weaponage of mugs and stools and chairs. A pro-MMA guy I know was drunk at one of these places and put a guy down when the guy got in his face…the MMA guy then was jumped by the guy and his friends in the parking lot…hit with a pool cue in the face and lost vision in one eye and woke up in the hospital.

  80. FR

    Reached out to the HB6.5 from my last FR and setup an afternoon for us within an area that was logistically favorable and kept the texting to logistics only. We met at the restaurant, had good conversation that kept her talking the majority of the time and I thought I was able to better steer our topics into emotional topics for her but still need more practice there. We had drinks and I should have just let the second drink sit (I don’t drink much) as I felt like I had more than I wanted to drink based upon my plan for the night but it didn’t negatively impact the get together. The bill comes and she offers to split but instinctively I thank her and pay for the whole thing (I know! It was muscle memory! Total BB.)

    Right after I sign I tell her to follow me and lead her to our next destination which is a place walking distance from where we ate for dessert. I smoothly slid my hand into hers and we interlocked fingers and held hands as we walked down the street and things were going very well.

    We get dessert and I lead her away to another location close by that will allow us for some privacy and I increase the kino a bit by holding her hand more, high fives, and hand on the lower back while we are admiring the view and talking about some deeper subjects. We are very close together at this point and I probe a bit at her comfort level by pushing her hair behind her ear which she was fine with so then I lead conversation towards a metaphor I had been working on that will lead to a kiss and it did. Once we engaged in the kiss she definitely wanted more and it turned into a little make out session which was great. I used the opportunity to explore with my hands a bit but then cut it a short to maintain a bit of tension. We chat a bit more, I kiss her again, and then I lead her back to where we started where I lean in for another kiss and we say goodnight.

    Thanks to TRP / TRM this was the best 1st date I’ve ever had and mere months ago I would have been to afraid of rejection to initiate nearly any of the physical contact, especially on the first date. I’d appreciate any tips on room for improvement including how to better parlay the intimacy. Thanks.

  81. I’d appreciate any tips on room for improvement including how to better parlay the intimacy.

    Lead her back to your place, and fuck.

    else…

    enjoy the time you had again…

  82. @Catchers – this is roughly what my dates looked like in around 2013 and I still got laid occasionally as long as I managed to get into isolation – as Sentient says, you did pretty well on this date and all you really needed to do was isolate and escalate and if she was turned on enough, the lay would have happened (indeed, the act of isolation and escalation itself would have turned her on more).

    So that’s all you need to do next time you are in this position.

    Later on there’s more stuff you can do – ramp up attraction faster, sexualize more, go for the lay etc. But main takeaway here is just – isolate+escalate. You did well though.

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