For the past three years of The Rational Male there’s been a consistent presence in the comment threads of guys seeking advice for particular situations with regards to Game. Whether it’s fine tuning certain aspects of Game or a larger consensus of the guys participating in my comment threads it’s become obvious there’s a need for a dedicated page and comment thread to address these Field Reports.
So I’m instituting this page for exactly this. If there is some urgency to have members of The Rational Male community analyze your particular situation feel free to hit anyone up in the comments of my current post, but please refer them to your particular field report with a link to your comment here. I’m hoping this will alleviate the mass of posts for field report analysis and Game specific insights piled into the main blog post for any given week.
There will be some rules for this “forum” as such. I ask that you only keep your comments to addressing the field reports at hand and save your larger theoretical stuff for the main posts, or if relevant, keep the “bigger scope of things” posts to being as succinct as possible. There will be no moderation in this comment thread (spamming excepted), so realize it will be a very hot kitchen before you post. I will impose no restrictions on video links here, nor will I limit links to various, but pertinent articles.
Understand, this is an experiment for now. It’s likely this comment thread will exceed thousands of comments. I’ll be instituting new comment plug-ins for wordpress to deal with this in the future, but I may archive this page the the posts and refresh this page in the future as well. If this gets cumbersome I may simply institute a dedicated forum-style sub-site of The Rational Male to accommodate for Game specific questions.
So have at it, post your field reports and feel free to comment on the ones you have some particular insight for. Be forewarned that it’s likely things may get a bit salty at times and I expect a lot of back & forth with debate and disagreements, but that’s what this thread is for – to hash out Game particulars for your given situations.
EhIntellect She’s a horrible liar, at least overtly. She’ll explain away the most stupid behaviors, but here, I believe her when she claims amnesia. She’s can’t be trusted with facts. It’s the “right now” thing. When she was all up in your face saying whatever she was saying to get a reaction from you, all that stuff was true at that moment, but later when she simmered down and realized she’d likely pushed you too far, it wasn’t “true” anymore, so … it had to have not happened. Hence the “don’t remember” which is really just a flip side of… Read more »
Oh, yeah, by the way: this whole “building tension” followed by “explosion” followed by “make up” followe by “pseudonormality” cycle is what abusive situations look like. There was a couple in the area who apparently followed an amped up version of this script until she stabbed him with something and eventually he died. The cops never did find what she stabbed him with, but she did wind up in prison for a while. More relevant, he’s still dead. No children, though, so that aspect of damage wasn’t a factor. You do have children, EhIntellect, and they don’t deserve to wind… Read more »
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NJs
RCM
http://wp.me/p4dCzl-1JM
@EhIntellect and Anonymous Reader Just so were on the same page. I agree that Deida is Blue Pill in Alpha’s clothing. Hence why I always ask someone to translate his writing which is somewhat gay, new-age-like. A red pill awareness guy (us) can spot this female behavior in the woman as a lie, and treat the Deida description, which is apt as a metaphor for the 5 year old girl in her. In other words, we can accept red pill truths about women’s duplicity. In other words I don’t disagree with Anon’s comment @ 2:54 pm. The important thing is… Read more »
FR I was going on my usual walk and I spotted in the distance a Chinese girl that I had weaseled out of talking to at least 2-3 times on this particular route. I’m short-sighted but I knew it was her even before I was close enough to confirm that it was. The last time I passed her was pretty much in the same spot maybe 10 meters difference. The girl has no idea the kind of self-talk that is going on inside you of course but for me the feeling inside was you have to open her this time.… Read more »
@Adam
First thing you need to do mate….Is get more leads.
It’ll all fall in place buddy but right now you’re outcome dependent af. So find more wimminz
TheMarquis
Welcome back man. Travelling so just a short note. Handle your shit (debt, complaining, weakness etc) because all that beta is going to hold you back. You are otherwise in the middle of a frame battle for relationship dominance. You are working with enough that she is starting to respond – by knocking you back in your beta box. Keep going, but for authentic alpha to register you need to work more on you right now and less on gaming her. Get to that place.
@Eh She ever seen your violent side? Ever seen you kill something or beat the hell out of someone? We used to have a pecan tree and if you let them, the damn squirrels will take *all* the pecans, leaving none for me. Fuck them, it’s my tree. Must’ve shot dozens over the years and I made sure to leave the carcasses visible before tossing just to let it be known (great dog toy too). Subtle, and not exactly something I’d brag about to my buddies, but she knows I will kill and not sweat it. One time I was… Read more »
Another subtle thing I do…. start using “I/me/mine” more and less of “we/us/ours.” But not overtly… more in passing while telling a story or the like.
“… if that bastard tried that in MY house….” vs “… if that bastard tried that in OUR house…”
It needs to be more of an indirect indicator of your mental point of origin (MPO) than some conspicuous assertion of possession. The latter invites pushback while the former assumes your dominance.
Sentient Much thanks. I’ll keep that in mind. I’ll maintain things with my wife but the focus needs to be on improving myself for a few months. The money will take longer – although I do have a plan – but I can see results with the fitness and attitude much quicker. I realised recently – she often talks about how she doesn’t want to lose me and things like that. But that just means she doesn’t want to lose me as her beta provider. Not a question of losing her alpha. That’s not to say there isn’t some alpha… Read more »
@Ehintellect Withdrawing attention begat more rage. Withdrawing attention begat sexy time. since YaReally hasn’t been around, i will point out that you getting two different results from the same input behavior means that you are not understanding the dynamic in play… you need to drill deeper into the interaction (to get to the diamond core principles), bc the results SHOULD be the same… IF you actually understand what’s going on… and are consistently applying the same behavior… so, when you ‘withdraw attention’ and get two different results, you are likely focused on the wrong things… and this is likely bc… Read more »
@TheMarquis Having A Bad Day and Sentient Is the right forum now to post this? Not the main post comments? yep, sort of like the kids’ table in the spare bedroom…lol… but hopefully more guys will feel confident enough to ask for help if it’s not in front of all the grownups…lol… Married guy here with kids, mid 30s, working on turning his marriage around and I post from time to time and you guys helped before. Had an interesting experience last night even though it ended badly and input is appreciated. Watching TV with wife with her cuddled up… Read more »
@hank Good set with the waitress girl! The thing I notice about your FR’s is that you depict all push, no pull, so I’m like ‘OK she gave compliance so reward her‘ but then you just throw out another neg or DQ or spike story. You’re getting good reactions though so I suspect you’re relaying the ‘reward’ part of the interaction through body language or something like that. Just observing to facilitate communication, my feedback has been ‘woah dude pull back a bit on the harsh humor’ and that might be why. It sounds like you’re doing just that but… Read more »
Also to add, if she brings up the PUA stuff, use something like the stuff I wrote above to spike her emotions a bit, then roll off the subject. You ain’t gonna win any mind games by keeping on talking about it. Oh hey, I just thought of another one! “I got those for you, actually. I hoped you’d learn some game.” Then if she needs some pull: “It worked a treat too! I can’t keep my hands off you now. What have you done to me with your weird game stuff?” Or if she’s relating well to a pull:… Read more »
Marquis habd’s advice is sound. You should download it and save it. Lemme hit this one point: Sometimes she says stuff like “Did you read that line in your books?” Or “Don’t try that “dominant” stuff from those books on me”, sometimes even when I AM trying to be dominant. Oh, this is such obvious beta bait / shit testing, and it could even be turned into a private little game for you two if you work it right. But first, you need to script a response to this, visualize saying it, then when she reaches this entry in her… Read more »
@Marquis Another perspective: “Of course she doesn’t know about Red Pill and all that but this is still annoying – how do I handle it?” Red Pill is hard, esp. in marriage it is the hard mode. You need to be un-apologetic about who you are as a man. OTOH, She doesn’t have to know you are consuming red pill blogs, books and input from a lot of sources. So STFU and read is a way to pass the shit test. Who is she to tell you to not self improve via Red Pill? You need to read more not… Read more »
Friday lots of sex and apologies. Saturday more compliments, apologies and sex. On to bluepillprofessr youtube. The comfort/shit test clips. Reread all y’alls helpful comments, many many times. Cool. Saturday night: She unilateraly blows through my 3 stages of emotional detachment in 5 seconds. Straight to finger waving. Obviously, I’ve let this go too long. Duh. Thanks for your patience. I finish dinner, tell the kids to behave, I’m leaving and they can call me if needed. Wife runs out the house in socks, in the wet. “Let’s talk.” She’s accuses me of running away. I repeat she can call.… Read more »
@EhIntellect not a lot of time so i’m gonna chunk it off in big blocks…lol Friday lots of sex and apologies. Saturday more compliments, apologies and sex. On to bluepillprofessr youtube. The comfort/shit test clips. Reread all y’alls helpful comments, many many times. Cool. good you need some guidance…lol (also read ‘Just get it’ here…) Saturday night: She unilateraly blows through my 3 stages of emotional detachment in 5 seconds. Straight to finger waving. Obviously, I’ve let this go too long. Duh. Thanks for your patience. the cycle is not unknown/unknowable…lol I finish dinner, tell the kids to behave, I’m… Read more »
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NMB
EhIntellect, you have to stay out of her frame, we both know that. When you find that you have slid into her frame, or are starting to, physically going somewhere else is a good plan. “Leaving” mentally right now isn’t enough, you need to get away. Go have a cup of coffee or something, play music or read text that helps you get back into proper state of mind, then return. She’s going to run her full Rolodex at you regularly. If she hits one of your buttons that really fires you up, get out and do physical stuff –… Read more »
@EhIntellect Hang in there. But Relax. And take things in increments (two weeks, three months, six months, etc). And keep in mind it is the holiday stressful time right now. You are actually doing good and your intellect and desire will improve your game. It takes a while. Your wife is still going through extinction bursts and she still needs distance from your old patterns and your old habits. Time helps that. And the non-low-sex situ is a great springboard–that is a big asset to work with. Yes change is uncomfortable (for her, not you). I know the feeling, I… Read more »
Finally, someone more skilled than I (hey I suck at expressing myself well) has given a red pill review of David Deida’s “The Way of the Superior Man” in a way that summarizes the major principles. TWSM is a hard book to like because it puts a man in an arena (Teddy Roosevelt style) where he actually does have that man’s burden of performance. Unless you can do that in a PDA (passionate, dynamic and authentic) congruent way, then the book sucks. It makes it too hard to move on, and it gets frustrating. It is also is more apt… Read more »
Q re EhIntellect’s situation (hang in there dude – I don’t have married man expertise to offer but it seems to me like you’re doing an awesome job trying to handle a difficult situation – just need to keep at it). I totally get HABD’s points about how the words don’t matter and her hindbrain only responds to actions, but presumably at some level you need words to establish your expectations? Like you can punish by actions/withdrawing attention but you need to tell her what your expectations are so she can follow them? Like the other guy who just posted… Read more »
@EhIntellect got a little more time this morning… (not really…lol… but at least i don’t have a bunch of meetings til noon… and you are an excellent case study for all the men reading along at home…lol… but not kidding on that… and props on putting in the work… AND being willing to post your experiences…(and i second @Forge on it being fun to follow along on your boys learning this shit… props for that too…)) you seem to be having trouble understanding that the ‘content’ in your words doesn’t do ANYTHING wrt a girl’s hindbrain… except indicate to it… Read more »
…and while SJF is right about the “presence and affection for her good behavior.” being ‘better attention’… her hindbrain doesn’t really care if it is getting ‘negative attention’… bc to a girl, it’s ALL just more emotional validation… This is an excellent distinction pointed out by HABD for EhIntellect. It is not paradoxical for the following reason: EhIntellect is operating at a higher level, than other newbies starting out in MRP game. He is a good husband, good provider and good father with Alpha Qualities. He is not working on the low-sex paradigm. He has more to work with, more… Read more »
Culum Morning rush so manager was also making coffee and at one point I saw one of the baristas (the biggest one – he looked like a linebacker) stand behind her and casually hold her shoulders with his hands for a couple of seconds while saying something. I couldn’t see their faces but the body language was totally relaxed for both of them. A few minutes later she finished her shift and walked out and one of the other baristas (on a break, standing just outside the door) said something jokingly, smiled and tried to grab her arm as she… Read more »
@Culum Struan In regards to your questions about EhIntellect and TheMarquis’ situations, their wives know the score. The know they are behaving badly. They just don’t know how to correct it any more than a 7 year old knows how to redirect their bad behavior. Marquis’s wife is playing hide the magical vagina and is several chess moves ahead of him. She knows what she is doing with her female sub-communication. EhIntellect’s wife knows she is not in control (as witnessed by the frequent apologies). She wants to take back power with an adolescent skill set, but she knows she… Read more »
@forge @culum @PUA Forge –> Well I am much more push than pull. But I think my pushes come across as harsher than they are in person — they are generally really playful. –sort of FR lol– also made up a story of having a marathon sex session with this girl I met at a restaurant, ditching her, her getting pissed, and me going to smooth things over and it not going well lol. Told it in two parts — first was me telling about hooking up with her and then the second was about me trying to get the… Read more »
Sentient @culum
As often as not the dudes are gay or super beta hug boys… this beta hugging is rampant among this set (and hipsters)… It’s mutual comfort and safe… NON SEXUAL despite the touching…
Have seen this in more than one coffee place. The men act like little brothers to the women.
Culum, when you see this tell yourself “He’s just her brother / cousin” or “he’s her gay friend”.
Because that’s all it is.
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NMz
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NJA
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NNi
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NNk
All this before I could read any comments. Oh man. I’m dealing as best I can, with what I’m reading, with what I got, as it happens. Thanks for your help. Home after work: nice talk, she walks past and stops stares and kisses me, then to making out in hallway. Really hot frenching, if the kids weren’t around there’d been sex in the laundry room. I’ve been thinking hard about am I always the aggressor? No, she really wants me, mostly. We have a nice evening with friends visiting and kids around. Happy conversation. I’ve changed (stop laughing). I’ve… Read more »
@EhIntellect Congratulations on your performance in that field test. You handled the Mother of All Comfort (shit) Tests with a great skill. (and you lived to tell about it–talk about knowing and leaning out to your edge, without falling off. Dancing on a razor blade the last couple months and not getting hurt.) You covered a lot of the 48 laws of power in that report. Your wife pulls the old “guess what’s behind the pillow trick”? And you go through your rolodex and pull out the old Law #22 of the 48 Laws (Use the Surrender Tactic: Transform Weakness… Read more »
@EhIntellect Keep moving forward in married red pill. But don’t be afraid to rest at times so she can keep up. Illimitable Man MAXIM #22: “Women don’t care about your struggles, only your successes.” Illimitable Man MAXIM #23: “Women want the final product, but successful men value a woman who was there for the journey. Women detest risk, so they have the propensity to hold back ambitious men with their petulant insecurities. Should he become too powerful, she fears she will lose her monopoly over him. She sabotages him to secure him, for the crab bucket mentality is intrinsic to… Read more »
Ehintellect
And this is the tl;dr version. Brutal.
IDK man… It seems to me that you enjoy the drama. And that’s cool if it is the case, i get it.
What do you want to achieve here? If anything? What does success in your relationship look like?
Eh Here is a little diddy for you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dlmnVMTbC0 [also funny to see the differences in each guy in the vid] Your eyes are the color of the earth as seen from outer space You got a gorgeous face, though its a little odd Tell me that you like the songs that tell the story of real love, the kind that’s flawed Let’s drink whiskey and do it all night long Let’s get drunk and get it on Take you to a cheap hotel out on the interstate Well you look so great to me This is the perfect place… Read more »
Thank you for your input. I couldn’t of done it without you. I’ve given up a lot of personal pursuits over the years because she’d shame me, I’d resist, adding a layer of resentment, then fold…and find another diversion. Sentient, I gave up the guitar a decade ago as she’d shame me, in front of the me, kids, friends. I picked up a combination woodworking/artistic pursuit, which was mother hen approved. She’d come out and rate my work at a level no one would expect. All my work sells. After a while I angrily told her to go away, she… Read more »
Merry Christmas EhI … watching with (more than) interest.
going through some tough stuff, have to push through things for a while. good news is that once i get through it, i will be in a much better mindset and will be in a good position to have a breakthrough.
just want to keep track of days to keep focus. today is day one, aiming for at least a week.
@Sentient @Anonymous Reader – thanks guys, yeah the asexual dynamic you describe makes sense now that you mention it. I even mentioned in my first post that there was no tension at all and the vibe was very relaxed and chilled and this feeds into that.. @SJF – thanks dude. So if I understand correctly you’re basically saying that in this kind of thing the wife usually knows she’s behaving badly and the exact reason why (like a kid going for the cookie jar) so there’s no need to verbally set the boundary, except in unusual/exceptional circumstances or where the… Read more »
@Culum Rollo always mentions entering into LTR’s with proper Frame and not losing it. Once it’s lost it is harder to regain. Setting borders and boundaries from the start through overt verbalization is good. Overt verbalization is more impotent (no I didn’t spell important wrong) in the claw back from years of improper LTR Frame. The situation is a little more broader in regaining Frame in a LTR because there is a higher level agency battle going on. Mrs. EhI knows she is throwing a hissy fit when Mr. EhI is acting impudent and not under her control, but there… Read more »
“The wife loses her former power and in doing so will fight tooth and nail to regain her agency” Correct in that she is fearing losing control over me and is supplicating now in myriad means. It’s fascinating in that the crying yesterday would spigot-like start/stop if she felt she was gaining control. It’s not anger, it’s fear. I haven’t spoken to her in objective terms for a couple days, that’s helping a lot. Woo-woo talk is all she is satisfied with. Sentient is right (as always), playing with the drama again yesterday evening. I had to test the limits… Read more »
Culum I even mentioned in my first post that there was no tension at all and the vibe was very relaxed and chilled and this feeds into that.. So act on this right? This is why you can create massive sexual tension in 2 minutes… She isn’t getting that and is settling for comfort… the touching still has a purpose, but it is a second place trophy. Be the guy who goes against the grain. Enjoy Ehintellect… “Sentient is right (as always), playing with the drama again yesterday evening.” well I wouldn’t go that far… I’m still nto sure what… Read more »
@EhIntellect
Yep that church doctrine is pretty fucked up and overly simplistic. Its message: A one way flow of
consideration and acquiescence to the female.
http://www.catholicpamphlets.net/pamphlets/MARRIAGE%20FOR%20KEEPS.pdf
Notice there is no place for the dynamic of dread. It is verboten.
As you’ve said before, I need to build this back to front. A submissive wife needs constant mate-guarding and does get unnaturally weird. In a way her instinctual tactics are a benefit for the family as power struggles happen outside the relationship too. I want her to win those.
It is fun when she fights a bit during sex and such. That’s her feral self. I’ll take the weekend to get some ideas.
“I’m still not sure what you think success looks like in your relationship.” I’d venture (with red pill lenses on) the lack of contempt first. Second, admiration and respect for ongoing masculine alpha leadership by the man (realizing past contributions are water under the bridge). Trust of the man to lead without the woman upping her masculine/minimizing her feminine. Allowing the man to exercise his masculine character without feminizing him. Attempts at manipulation by the female to be for the good of the man and the good of the children. “Healthy” equilibrium of masculine and feminine and parental roles of… Read more »
@EhIntellect, ever seen this? https://manhood101.com/principles101.pdf
I especially liked the section on Punishment. Ship to that, and then reread the whole thing. I saw many things I was doing wrong after reading this resource.
“I’m still not sure what you think success looks like in your relationship.”
Surveys say:
EhIntellect gives his wife
— Presence
— Intelligence
— Strength
— Passion
— Direction
— Humor
And she accepts and trusts those as genuine and authentic qualities.
She gives:
— Beauty
— Sexual openness
— Trust of her man’s direction
— Support for her man’s vision
— Intellectual intelligence
— Healthy radiance
— Efforts guided at every individual’s best interests (mom herself, husband, dad and children).
And he appreciates that.
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NNs
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NNE
BBQ
http://boldanddetermined.us4.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=58588d1c90308aecc6a13fd33&id=8349d93366&e=650c4f4717
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NNm
Isolation is not solitude
http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/12/22/upshot/how-social-isolation-is-killing-us.html?utm_source=digg&_r=0&referer=
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NNG
Gender wars
http://wp.me/p6SXrP-jeI
Csp
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NNI
Ok, I have a question. A 21 yo waitress (HB7) at my now-2nd-favorite country bar seems to be “interested” in me…she always stops to chat…she always has that UMC “moonfaced smile” on when we chat…always tries to speak and appear mature! Last night she was at the bar, but not working and I didn’t recognize her because she wasn’t in uniform (bar shirt) and she had changed her hair. When I was passing her, she stopped me by grabbing my arm and getting up in my grill and said “hi”. We chatted and she was comfortable with some kino where… Read more »
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NNK
http://wp.me/s4tvpM-rebound
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NO1
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NNR
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NNT
Dalrock
http://wp.me/pXWyH-aEx
@theasdgamer
Ask her number whilst her co-workers are not looking and hit on her ofc.
ASD I run into similar situations,a definite ioi and I look at it as ,I am an experiment in old fungi for these younguns. I am the first man of obvious stature that isn’t lecturing her,doesn’t have any authority,and this is different something to be explored,she wants to be seen as an adult,not by her friends,by you. I have been told by these types that they like when I talk to them,mostly I think when I listen. It could be infatuation,but as with most things it will pass,one cross word will kill the buzz. Face it ASD she sees you… Read more »
@ all The old me is officially dead and she’s wildly in love with me. I cracked the code yesterday. We had a dust up Friday night requiring me to leave til closing time. The next morning (after sex), I explained our difficulties are at heart my inability to talk to her the way she can understand. Last week, she asked me what I wanted from her. I might of been speaking in Swahili. I literally didn’t know how to tell her what I was up to and leaving the night before wasn’t running from her, though that’s how she… Read more »
Correction. HABD not NBTM
Nice comment Ehintellect
I think you’ll find it wasnt the words you spoke as much as it was you r active leading that she responded to. Keep leading… That’s the burden and hard when you are not quite sure exactly where you’re going.
But lead and hold her accountable.
Nice stuff.
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NNX
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NMu
Ehintellect
Also note you are setting up the “you and me against the world” scenario…
@Sentient and @EhIntellect: I’m no expert, but I still think you are talking way too much, and about feelings. You seem to also be acting and leading which is probably why despite not shutting up you still get a good measure of success. All the talking and focus on feelings suggests that you are still in her frame (not yours). It seems you think you should explain yourself to her etc., and that when you describe it to her, your whole mission is making your marriage better (for her) etc. Somehow she is still Framing your journey instead of you… Read more »
Thanks @N1 and @stuff.
@IAS, EhIntellect I give him an A+ for effort, and a solid A for accomplishment. Even if Sentient is accusing him of “I Want Something Good……I Just Don’t Know What It Is Yet”. Nothing wrong with that, out of Desire to Achieve comes Mastery. Figure it out and refine it later. And I see the transitioning and flow of Frame from her to him (and her fighting it because of the dynamics I described earlier), but not compromising her agency. A win/win. Good job EhIntellect. As to the verbalizing there is always this: Roissy’s Seventh XII. Maximize your strengths, minimize… Read more »
Nature nurture heaven and home
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NNo
Trauma ownership https://pesi_web_content.s3.amazonaws.com/pesi/pdf/101_Trauma_Worksheet-Discerning_Intention.pdf
Qcurtius films
https://qcurtius.com/2016/12/25/sunday-movie-roundup-12252016/
Nature nurture heaven and home
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NNo
Trauma ownership https://pesi_web_content.s3.amazonaws.com/pesi/pdf/101_Trauma_Worksheet-Discerning_Intention.pdf
Nature nurture heaven and home
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NOh
Heartise
http://wp.me/p3aTD-9w1
In praise of ignorance
http://wp.me/p6SXrP-_jR4
” Your goal should be to attract women effortlessly, so play to your strengths no matter what they are; there is a groupie for every male endeavor. Except World of Warcraft.”
First time I heard this,and asked ,what about concrete groupies? where are they? The old boy said, that’s easy they are in prison.
@adsgamer A few points here: “I said, “Dancing with the old guy,” but I think it’s more that they would tease her about being a golddigger.” NEVER…and I mean NEVER EVER even in jest bring up the age difference. That is pussy tingle killer. Never call yourself “old guy”…never call yourself anything. When a girl refers to my age or tries to pull it out of me I say “You want a boy or a man?” or make some reference to “I’m like 76 but well-preserved…” Leave them guessing never draw it out. Only once with the girls I’m banging… Read more »
Thanks, wala.
Yeah, wala, I think that she’s trying to game me while she’s working and also was gaming me last Fri. We got up in each other’s grids when I was trying to figure out who she was. She’s running a very low key UMC style game. I get a sense of it when she stops to chat with me, my radar starts pinging, if you know what I mean.
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NOj
Walawala
“But don’t shit where you eat. I meet girls all the time where I hang out. Discretion is key here.”
Huge problem with me been working on it for awhile.
CSP http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NPK Trauma and the body https://soundcloud.com/prajna-yoga/effects-of-trauma-in-the-body “Isn’t everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWuX5bRY890 Jesse “Alright, alright. Think of it like this: jump ahead, ten, twenty years, okay, and you’re married. Only your marriage doesn’t have that same energy that it used to have, y’know. You start to blame your husband. You start to think about all those guys you’ve met in your life and what might have happened if you’d picked up with one of them, right? Well, I’m one of those guys. That’s me y’know, so think of this as… Read more »
@Rfg You have to be more discrete when gaming girls in places you go to or within your social circle.
But I do it. Girls don’t really talk if the thing is discrete. If the girl was publicly your date or gf…yah, it’s messy.
But girls prefer to keep things on the quiet anyway. It’s interesting for me to see their sexual playbook. They make themselves available to you for a window of time. If you outright reject them, some will get angry. But most will just more on and try again later on.
@palmasailor, Yeah I’m seeing that. Would nested comments help or should I just look into a field reports sub-forum?
Everyone, thank you for all the advice. Just got around to it – been busy with family festivities and hope everyone else is enjoying the holiday season. I’ll reply one by one below. Having A Bad Day – Thank you for the detailed breakdown and insight. Opened new vistas in my thinking. Everything seems to be a shit test to handle. What’s the difference between that and beta bait? Or is that just a kind of shit test? Forge the Sky – Thank you. It’s an interesting point to keep in mind – in one sense this is all really… Read more »
Rollo
Nested comments would help. So would making the comments searchable.
palmasailor
Good call that would organize it better.
Confidence
http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2016/12/be-more-confident/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+PagingDrNerdlove+%28Paging+Dr.+NerdLove%29
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NPK
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NPE
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NPC
Thank you for your comments and support. This life is now mine to lose. @IAS True, true. Demonstrate, not explicate. The narrative created for my wife was to ease my conversion from Beta to consistently-inconsistent alpha to trusted alpha. She’s been whipsawed so many times in the last few months for so many reasons, I prefer to avoid another severe emotional cycle inherent in regaining frame. I get enough sex. PUA can’t help me here. You’re correct, IAS. If anything the subtext of my little story is to start with solid frame when entering a LTR. I’d habituated her and… Read more »
EhIntellect / IAS Great story Eh… You are on your way, just be careful to avoid plateau in a month or two… she will test you hard again. IAS – it’s ok to talk to women and share your feelings, it is the frame in which you are doing it that counts… Authenticity – saying what you mean, and having her believe you are serious, from a non negotiated/bargaining position is very powerful EHintellect used a lot of soft words but conveys truth to her – he is moving on, and the subtext is she can join him or not.… Read more »
I’m the king of my own land.
Facing tempests of dust, I’ll fight until the end.
Creatures of my dreams raise up and dance with me!
Now and forever, I’m your king!
@TheMarquis Having A Bad Day – Thank you for the detailed breakdown and insight. Opened new vistas in my thinking. Everything seems to be a shit test to handle. What’s the difference between that and beta bait? Or is that just a kind of shit test? beta bait… https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2015/05/15/more-common-types-of-beta-bait/ basically, the girl throws these statements out to see if you’ll ‘bite’… but it’s not an active ‘push’ against you… like a regular shit test… general shit tests are active pushes against your frame… and are either ‘genetic fitness’ tests – where SHE wants to see if you are ‘fit’ for… Read more »
@EhIntellect
Following on HABD’s excellent comments…be aware that the pit bull in the ring with you isn’t a docile kitten, even though it may try to purr and lick its tail…be on the alert and in full control of your feelings….calibrate your wife’s feelings…early and often! Keep a sense of humor when the shit tests hit.
Gamer out.
I consider myself fairly warned. She’s testing me here and there re: kids, competence, sex…waiting for increased variety, frequency and amplitude. I’m doing well. Sex is energetic, plentiful and freely given. She’s appealing to my presence, new steady nature, aggressive sexuality.
Per HABD’s timeline, I have a year for full conversion. The action doesn’t end with rolling credits.
“Keep a sense of humor when the shit tests hit.” Duly noted.
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NPu
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NPw
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NPk
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NPh
RCM
http://wp.me/p4dCzl-1Ks
Heartise
http://wp.me/p3aTD-9wt
Self care and reflection
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NPf
@Hank “i definitely notice when girls like me. Its just an issue that I really only like non-white girls, and I live in a place that is majority white…so I have to hunt down the non-white girls…but I don’t have good venues to go to. So its just a grind to go out and find girls I like.” This is just another excuse ^ There is no way you can know what you like when you haven’t had any.Sounds like a porn fetish? to me idk. Way back in the dark ages when I was a kid,we understood the pheromonal… Read more »
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NPb
http://stevenpressfield.us4.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=f0034a6dd187b930d2aa7774c&id=204294f93a&e=1a72fd3c93o
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NP4
Bold and determined
http://boldanddetermined.us4.list-manage.com/track/click?u=58588d1c90308aecc6a13fd33&id=9f242ac7e5&e=650c4f4717
RCM
http://wp.me/p4dCzl-1KF
Ooooh
@stuffinbox This is just another excuse ^ There is no way you can know what you like when you haven’t had any.Sounds like a porn fetish? to me idk. Have you fucked an 800 pound woman? What about a 90 year old women? Oh shit. What about an 800 pound, 90 year old woman? No? Well how do you know stuffinbox? Maybe that’s your fetish. You’ll never know if you like 800 pound, 90 year old women unless you go bang one. Get to it man. Lol Nah, you can tell pretty easily what you like early on in an… Read more »
@Hank
Are you claiming that the only women attracted to you are 800lb 90yo’s? Both are medically impossible btw obese people don’t have a 90yr expectancy.
But hey if that is all you can draw in you may need to carry some porn with you to get it up on IDK.
Personally I could always get it up for anything if necessary,white ,black,brown,yellow,skinny,,plump they all need good lovin,why deprive em that?
The main clue bus here is the ones you are attracted to aren’t there and the ones that are attracted to you just don’t cut it.That about right?
For Hank
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqwpLVrmokY&w=560&h=315%5D
@Hank
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqwpLVrmokY&w=560&h=315%5D
Hank
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owqzQuyqzoM&w=560&h=315%5D
Identity and nature
http://wp.me/p10w4n-4P9
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NPS
Dirty videos and youtube 14yr old male
https://www.quora.com/?digest_story=32959708
@stuffinbox
The main clue bus here is the ones you are attracted to aren’t there and the ones that are attracted to you just don’t cut it.That about right?
You’ve got some reading to do:
https://therationalmale.com/2016/12/19/the-awareness/comment-page-3/#comment-184112
https://therationalmale.com/2016/09/05/the-best-of-the-rational-male-year-5/comment-page-2/#comment-168711
https://therationalmale.com/2016/12/19/the-awareness/comment-page-3/#comment-184113
Read the FRs I linked at the bottom of those posts and then get back to me.
Pew research
http://pewrsr.ch/2iJZIyW
CSP
http://wp.me/p4tvpM-1NPU
Bull riding
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/102193214/through-the-lens-of-jerry-gustafson
Hank If I’ve read one of your frs I’ve read them all,they all end up the same,you at home alone with your dick in your hand.
When that changes and I miss it then I’ve got some reading to do,in the meen time you have some introspection to do.