For the past three years of The Rational Male there’s been a consistent presence in the comment threads of guys seeking advice for particular situations with regards to Game. Whether it’s fine tuning certain aspects of Game or a larger consensus of the guys participating in my comment threads it’s become obvious there’s a need for a dedicated page and comment thread to address these Field Reports.
So I’m instituting this page for exactly this. If there is some urgency to have members of The Rational Male community analyze your particular situation feel free to hit anyone up in the comments of my current post, but please refer them to your particular field report with a link to your comment here. I’m hoping this will alleviate the mass of posts for field report analysis and Game specific insights piled into the main blog post for any given week.
There will be some rules for this “forum” as such. I ask that you only keep your comments to addressing the field reports at hand and save your larger theoretical stuff for the main posts, or if relevant, keep the “bigger scope of things” posts to being as succinct as possible. There will be no moderation in this comment thread (spamming excepted), so realize it will be a very hot kitchen before you post. I will impose no restrictions on video links here, nor will I limit links to various, but pertinent articles.
Understand, this is an experiment for now. It’s likely this comment thread will exceed thousands of comments. I’ll be instituting new comment plug-ins for wordpress to deal with this in the future, but I may archive this page the the posts and refresh this page in the future as well. If this gets cumbersome I may simply institute a dedicated forum-style sub-site of The Rational Male to accommodate for Game specific questions.
So have at it, post your field reports and feel free to comment on the ones you have some particular insight for. Be forewarned that it’s likely things may get a bit salty at times and I expect a lot of back & forth with debate and disagreements, but that’s what this thread is for – to hash out Game particulars for your given situations.
Last week, I shored up a structure that was insect-damaged–jacking it up to install new sill plates. The wife acted as the other pair of hands, lifting boards, organizing tools and such. She bent down and took a nail-tip to the head, and went into full panic mode as it bled in a continuous stream. I grabbed a towel to stop the bleeding and led her back to the house. Normally, she would be the cool-headed first aid giver, but the sight of blood and not being able to self-assess the severity, she became totally helpless. We don’t usually talk… Read more »
Oldtimeposter You can’t get around “testing the truth of the situation” regardless of who is around. It’s your job to make a move. Do you want to? Serious question as they say. “You seem cool, we should continue this chat someplace else one day” And hand her your phone set to contacts. Expect the “what about your wife st” and be ready. “This is between you and I” And if she demures… so be it. Be chill. Smile. “Ok” and keep going there like it doesn’t matter and nothing happened. The reality is she probably likes you and needs to… Read more »
This is the existential question old sport…
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WR5P-mfJU_E
Are you a player or a $400k a year working stiff?
[Either are OK btw if that’s what YOU want to do]
@OTP
Before I comment on that thread do you have any other field reports you want to poast about cold opening?
@Anonymous Reader
I saw this on my way into London for lunch and thought of you
https://imgur.com/a/zXGYgjC
Because obv. The computer that deals with credit pricing has been programmed to charge one gender more than the other…
Oh wait… perhaps one has a worse payment profile than the other
Can’t be true surely?
@Sentient – point taken and noted. I know what I want. Next time, I’ll step up to the plate and swing if the attraction is there.
@Palma – No, I don’t have any other recent FRs about opening. I have a bunch of old ones, before I went to Asia, a couple of years ago, but have pretty much done nothing since then. That’s changing now though.
@Sentient
Now what’s truly Alpha is not bone crushing your adversary, it’s smoothly stealing his thunder and getting him into your frame, ultimately following you.
You reminded me of Chris Voss’s Never Split the Difference. Have you read it?
Covers emotional disrobing, too. Doesn’t talk about it in the context of intersexual dynamics, but explains why it works.
IRL
Never heard of it. Thanks.
I do a lot of these things however.
https://www.slideshare.net/YanDavidErlich/never-split-the-difference-cheatsheet
That book is great. Easily the best negotiation book I’ve read and highlights the differences between books based on academic negotiation studies with bored undergrads and the kind of real life negotiation the author did. I particularly like the framework for a one-page preparatory note to have on hand before a negotiation and have used it with some success (over time I suppose you can internalize it and not need the actual piece of paper). Come to think of it, it’s been a few years – I’m probably due for a re-read of the book..I remember thinking when I first… Read more »
All right. Plans for the summer. My main goal is to integrate good behaviours into daily life. I’ve been doing it reasonably well at home with the wife (can always improve of course and focus on avoiding sliding into complacency and putting down “the burden” which happens from time to time), but the idea is to do it everywhere else: simply be more social and talk to more people (both men and women) and focus on good subcomms. But do it consistently everywhere in daily life. Everyone from other companies in my office building, to moms at the school gate,… Read more »
@OTP
Good stuff, but the only glitch I can see is you giving out unearned compliments.
You’re issuing an IOI which is a DLV.
Think of something else to say to them.
Palma, The compliments bit was a kind of an afterthought when I was reminded of that old comment. It’s not part of the “baseline” plan and I probably won’t do it with 99% of people. But it’s actually not a bad idea for a bunch of reasons. You’re right that it’s not technically good (as in “highest percentage”) game for exactly the reason that you point out (although it could still work if my value on cold approach just from looks and body language etc is high enough for the woman to make a snap decision in my favour –… Read more »
@OTP keep going there like it doesn’t matter and nothing happened This ^^ is the absolute bottom line in ALL interaction with ALL women. It doesn’t matter And Nothing did happen It reminds me, I was out eating with an old acquaintance last Tuesday and we were sat at a table and there was a girl with odd green nail varnish sitting opposite me, and I forget, but I think I asked her “what colour green is was” and she sort of interacted but we didn’t really get it going. After that there were two older “would not bang” french… Read more »
Palms
Is this the competition over there?
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9779853/Social-media-pokes-fun-two-football-fans-videoed-sticking-flares-backsides.html
Palma,
I take your point. It’s kind of similar to an old discussion we had last year or so about “common courtesy”.
No compliments going forward it is.
(“talk to everyone” going well – a fun chat with the male and female baristas at a local coffee place plus some other anodyne comments with various other waiters and people at the water cooler in office etc – it’s more about getting into that headspace of naturally talking to everyone than anything else)
Field report I’m engaged in the student representative body at the faculty and, as groups of students use to, we went off drinking yesterday. For official deniability we made a jour fix beforehand at 6:30. I arrived there on point 6:30 and was struck by how many girls were there – like five dudes on 25 girls. Now after half an hour we progressed to “flag-walking”: We had a cart full with liquor and walked along a way with “flags” (boards in the park telling the history of the university) and you drink before and after every board while one… Read more »
NNN1, good field report. Questions, out of the 25 girls did you have a preference or first choice? How did the two “ms right who left and ms right that stayed” get so lucky to win your attention?
Well done NNN1.
@Stuffinbox Questions, out of the 25 girls did you have a preference or first choice? Yes, especially some of the girls working on their masters degree were prob 8/10 to 10/10, but there were fatties as well. Early in the evening the idea of hooking up tonight hadn’t yet crossed my mind. Within the girls of similar age the sober one was probably a solid 7/10 (but as I said left early). Later, the girls on the sofa were probably 6/10 to 7/10 – so nothing to show off, but still serving the purpose. How did the two “ms right… Read more »
Next thing, I want to say thank you to all.
You and this forum raised me up so many times, gave a perspective and a room for clear thought.
Without that I might have made the same progress, but it would surely have taken me half a decade more.
Further I did not forget @Palma’s plan on the chicken and group. Right now I just lack spare time for it.
@NNN1
For an extra point, how does this fit into that ^^ interaction
https://imgur.com/a/wx2Feao
@OTP
It’s kind of similar to an old discussion we had last year or so about “common courtesy”
If you haven’t had your “throw her out of the car moment” or your “pasta on the wall moment” then you’re not over the bridge yet.
Field report So the RD is still here. The original plan was that she arrived on the 11th June, did her quarantine, then did her exam on the 22nd ish, and then stayed for a “few” days. She clearly explained “the meaning of few is 1-5 days.” in prior texts. Anyway here we are 5 weeks later and she’s still here. It turns out that to get the leave from her job she filled out two forms. One was a leave request form, and the second was a resignation letter, she submitted them both and just told her boss she… Read more »
@Palma
how does this fit into that ^^ interaction
Well, I didn’t even consciously DHV lol – but maybe I do that a bit on autopilot now.
But clearly, I had the attention of several girls that evening (although not all at the same time, sure).
And, to be honest, I didn’t decide to have a target before her IOIs. Don’t even know her name lol.
You probably still don’t know the name of your RD as well do you?
NNN1 Preselection is the greatest attraction trigger. So in Palma’s MM diagram (nice!) Your DHV to Target is the other girl being into you. You may have missed her IOIs but the other girl didn’t. So she literally rubs up against you until you pay attention to her. I’m going to bet she was the hotter of the two, and when right girl saw left girl was hotter AND giving you IOIs, she split. This dynamic also showcases the power of the pivot, and why you should “waste time” chatting up 6s to mingle up to 10s. Now expand these… Read more »
@NNN1 props!… Field report I’m engaged in the student representative body at the faculty = some status differential vis ‘other dudes’… and, as groups of students use to, we went off drinking yesterday. For official deniability we made a jour fix beforehand at 6:30. I arrived there on point 6:30 and was struck by how many girls were there – like five dudes on 25 girls. auto pre-selection… just based on the numbers… and just as an aside, all those girls were there for ‘some reason’…lol… ie their hindbrains were taking them for a walk to see what they could… Read more »
@OldTimePoster Palma, I take your point. It’s kind of similar to an old discussion we had last year or so about “common courtesy”. No compliments going forward it is. whoa!… whoa!… whoa!… let’s not go CRAZY!…lol that^^^ might be a good rule for a beginner (who is still trying to understand the basic dynamics in play), but YOU are WAY past that… sooo, no easy (lazy) rules for YOU!!!…lol the ‘beta-ness’ of ‘compliments’ is mostly based on whose frame you are in… giving a girl (or anybody really) a compliment is a great opportunity for frame practice… ie are you… Read more »
@Sentient *Palms Is that the competition over there* You know what, actually, a lot of the time I think it is. For a long time I’ve just thought football is the opiate of the masses, just feed the dumb fucks beer and football and they won’t notice anything else type thing. There is a silent masculinity crisis. The women have ended up believing that they want these numales and they’re in a total mess because there isn’t any strength dominance or leadership. These wimps defer to the women on everything and it’s frustrating the hell out of the women. To… Read more »
@Palma Football is for guys who might not ultimately be successfull in life (at least in the hool’ scene I think), shows like X-factor or ESC are for women and families. tell him all of the above but keep him in orbit because he might be useful, but tell him the wing rules are “he who opens the set chooses”. So in future he gets what he’s given (which is the uglier one you are talking to whilst ignoring the good looking one who is really your target) I’ll tell him. BTW: E. (the girl in therapy) hit me up,… Read more »
If she is a friend, help and you want to help her, help her like you would help a friend. Do it on your terms, your place your availability etc. And expect nothing from her.
@NNN1
@Sentient has covered it really.
Just some points I keep in mind to keep grounded, because believe it or not I tend to do too much for people from time to time.
Ask yourself
Do I want to do this?
Why do I want to do this?
Would I do this for a man?
Am I in danger of sliding into becoming a free resource?
Is there anything in it for me, if so, what, and is it worth it?
Just catching up after a few days: @HABD – Okay, okay! 🙂 I see what you mean..no easy way out is there? As I continue talking to people around me a lot more, it feels like I’m starting to use muscles long untouched while I addressed a bunch of other issues in my life. Today I was chatting to some guy in my office, waiting for the elevator and I noticed how a very slight change in making my body language more open and making eye contact with him almost forced him to start chatting. Yesterday I was sitting alone… Read more »
On a different note – Guys – sanity check and perspective for me please on a non-Game question – I have a lot of respect for the opinions of the men here. I’m trying to figure out whether it is worth going after someone who has been talking shit about me and when it is worth pushing back and when it is better to shrug it off Background: This is a guy I did a deal with years ago – he got me involved in a very high profile and lucrative deal. I was not working for him – I… Read more »
Not so fast OTP…
What do you want to do and why?
@ Cul… er ah Old time poaster, What I do is invite the fellow out , buy him a beer early then watch as your mutual associates arrive. Have a good time take the high road. Was just over picking up some equipment I had rented a friend/associate( everybody pays the same price) the subject of a mutual friend/associate came up and renter threw a little shade on the guy. I replied Mike is a good guy always happy to see you and never bad mouths anyone to that he had to agree. There does seem to be a shift… Read more »
https://m.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=422&v=Ofe3Nb07h8k&feature=emb_title
My first instinctive reaction (when my friend told me what was going on a few days ago) was something like “Yeah, that sounds like exactly the kind of thing [X] would do – he’s such an asshole. It was only a matter of time before he was an asshole to me and now it’s happened. Thank god I am not involved with that scene anymore and don’t do that kind of work, and don’t have to deal with him or any of that shit and I can just ignore him and get on with the life I have now, which… Read more »
@Mar…..uh OTP, “My first instinctive reaction (when my friend told me what was going on a few days ago) ” Instinct or conditioned emotional defensive response? Why did your “friend” tell you that? “was something like “Yeah, that sounds like exactly the kind of thing [X] would do – he’s such an asshole. It was only a matter of time before he was an asshole to me and now it’s happened. Thank god I am not involved with that scene anymore and don’t do that kind of work, and don’t have to deal with him or any of that shit… Read more »
OTP Well looks like you still aren’t sure what you want to do? I’ll fold in my thoughts with my earlier comments to NNN2 Reputations, i.e. Status, is earned. One way or the other. What do you want yours to be? For me, I’d invite the guy out then ask him point blank why he is talking shit about me to others and watch him eat his words… Then say I’m happy to hear he wasn’t because I’d really be angry if it was true. Cheers mate! A wise man once told a young me “a man learns a lot… Read more »
@Palma – saw your FR about the RD – do you think it was a temporary one off shit test, or a more long term cooling off/ending this phase kind of thing because she’s been staying with you so long? All back to normal in the last few days? I just think she’s getting in deep and she knows it and doesn’t want to get hurt. Yes all back to normal. But she won’t leave until compelled by her visa. So she will have stayed 2 months. For a little bit there were no PDA’s, it was all in private,… Read more »
“Men are the true romantics”, public proposal version. The “Jumbotron proposal” has always looked very foolish to me for so many reasons.
https://nypost.com/2021/07/21/mans-failed-marriage-proposal-at-worcester-red-sox-game-caught-on-camera/
Get this man some red pills, stat!
Hey guys, I always felt sceptical when someone didn’t capitalyse on an opportunity too hard just to say “She’s gonna come back in a year or two”. Now out of nowhere a girl – K – hit me up on WhatsApp with “Do we want to dance again?” I had to think about who she was, but after 10 minutes I remembered she was a girl when a good friend and I helped out in a dancing school. Here most schools organize dancing classes in 9th or 10th grade. Most of the time less boys than girls attend these courses… Read more »
NNN1
The latter, never the former. Your mission is to arrange a face to face. So spike emotions, build attraction and pitch a meet on the high spots.
“She’s gonna come back”
Almost all of them do at some point… get used to it.
Also be aware she may have heard of you from your current social circle. Girls talk far and wide.
😆 Rollo in this video.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Qo0dA2B–mY&feature=emb_title
😆🤣😂
@NNN1 ok, time for a pop quiz…lol Now I (and this friend of mine) helped out two or so years ago and were struck by how beautiful (seriously) the girls in this school were. But we didn’t even attend the after-party of the event. sooo, what this looks like from her pov is… what? Now what would you do? I would have demanded her to have writen at least two more lines, why?… serious question… (and really feeel that hand on your shoulder…lol) but it is as it is. exactly!…lol… and that is?… Gonna answer that after lunch, but I… Read more »
So I went out with my son last night for dinner – we did the usual, and it was great. One point, and I could usually see what’s happening, but I’m so close to it that it isn’t registering: We were shooting the breeze generally, and he told me he was reading 48 laws of power by Robert Greene. That’s good. But the very interesting thing is that he made a point of telling me that he hadn’t told his mother or stepfather he was reading it. So what gives there? Also he’s looking jacked. He’s lifting heavily now, and… Read more »
Palmasailor First off, this is good news. We were shooting the breeze generally, and he told me he was reading 48 laws of power by Robert Greene. That’s good. But the very interesting thing is that he made a point of telling me that he hadn’t told his mother or stepfather he was reading it. So what gives there? Well, hmmm….What’s the first rule of Fight Club? One thing is obvious: he’s mentally and emotionally detaching from his mother and her beta schlub. Also he’s looking jacked. Boosting his circulating T just for a start. Other things downstream. Good news.… Read more »
@Anonymous Reader
Thanks.
It’s so close I couldn’t even see it.
Palma
He’s not telling because he knows it’s subversive anti narrative he’s getting at home, school, media etc.
And he’s getting jacked because he sees firsthand how his cohort girls act.
All signs positive!
PS – my same aged boy is going through similar. It’s surprisingly hard for them to unplug, even when you are right in front of them.
Thats what we are up against.
@Sentient He’s not telling because he knows it’s subversive anti narrative he’s getting at home, school, media etc. Thanks – he’s already in a social set at school that laughs at feminist teachers “bc they are so ugly they can’t get laid” And he’s getting jacked because he sees firsthand how his cohort girls act. Ok so yes,there are more and more girls around him, hitting him up etc. All signs positive! I think so. PS – my same aged boy is going through similar. It’s surprisingly hard for them to unplug, even when you are right in front of… Read more »
@NNN1 Now out of nowhere a girl – K – hit me up on WhatsApp with “Do we want to dance again?” Ok so the woman that sent me here, Anastasia, (HPD) went off and got married six months after I dumped her. Six months after she married, she threw the chump out and emailed me “hey, I know it’s been a long time and a lot of water under the bridge but I wondered if you wanted to meet for wine?” To which I replied “not wine, but an afternoon in bed would be great” She said “Thursday 3pm?”… Read more »
@Sentient and @HABD I texted her the second, but actually HABD (which I read five hours later lol) is right in that there is not really enough frame control yet – on the other hand she will still be wondering right now what’s going on here. She also didn’t react to that yet – but she might just as well be put for response time lol. She wrote that first message at 8:55 or so, so she probably planned that for at least a night or two. I expect an answer tomorrow when I will push a meet, just wondering… Read more »
@PalmaSailor
+1 on @AR and @Sentient’s analysis…
i’m surprised that they didn’t hit this point…lol
Also my rental is coming up and I have to move. That’s no big deal really,but he’s quite touchy about where I’m going to be living. (It will be close).
this is probably the least overt, but the most important point (ie it really IS a big deal…lol)… = he is really starting to trust that connection with you… and doesn’t want to even take a chance on losing it…
good luck!
The more you see, the more you see. I’m pretty convinced a solid 70% of married women aren’t getting laid like they want. At the local with WK buddy and another WK guy. Sitting at the bar. A 40 yo yoga body sits down, one stool over. Very attractive but not dressed up. It’s like 9 pm so a little unusual. She orders a wine and an app. [Note – pay attention to any woman out by herself] No IOIs from her. She drinks her wine. I let things sit, don’t rush in. At a suitable moment I open her… Read more »
@Sentient
In a hurry so I’ll reply properly later but honestly I’d have it at 95%
And about 80% for other women.
My labourer is 20 yo and he “can’t be bothered to deal” with his 18y/o gf who is a solid 8 and badgers him for sex.
Another perspective, courtesy of Chris Isaak “Wicked Game” is a tale of obsessive love. Chris Isaak spoke to Songfacts about the late-night event which inspired the song: “This one I wrote really late at night and it was written in a short time, because I remember that a girl had called me and said, ‘I want to come over and talk to you,’ and ‘talk’ was a euphemism. And she said, ‘I want to come over and talk to you until you’re no longer able to stand up.’ And I said, ‘Okay, you’re coming over.’ And as soon as I… Read more »
Thanks guys – stuffinbox, Sentient and Palma. Have been giving your responses a lot of thought and the most interesting thing is that the consensus seems to be some kind of confrontation/direct call out (although LOL@the difference between Palma’s and Sentient’s styles in doing it), which is the one option that I hadn’t seriously considered at all. Noted. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Simply calling him out is a form of pushback in itself and should be sufficient to stop him from doing any more. There’s no need at this stage to destroy his… Read more »
@OTP You’d be forgiven for thinking I go looking for fights. I don’t. But that doesn’t mean that I’ll walk away if you bring one to me. There’s no need at this stage to destroy his reputation with the fact that he’s into hookers and blow Really? Why not? I thought he was trying to destroy your reputation? The art of war. Any enemy must be destroyed totally. If you leave any element alive he’ll just resent you and come back for a second go at you later. Fuck him up properly. Out his lies about you and hookers and… Read more »
@sentient and others So Sentient your response to Oldtimeposter caught my attention, ” Expect the “what about your wife st” and be ready. => “This is between you and I” => And if she demures… so be it. Be chill. Smile. “Ok” and keep going there like it doesn’t matter and nothing happened. => The reality is she probably likes you and needs to get over herself and she might come around another day and time. You just keep being you.” So recently a woman 30+ years younger (CC) expressed some interest and I ran some game, more or less… Read more »
Centuries Welcome, welcome. “So after several drink, lunch and then dinner meet ups with CC” So if I understand correctly, with all these meetings you’ve not escalated at all,are out p in v etc right? That’s a different sort of issue. Add in all the texting and you may have put yourself into orbiter territory, however the wife question- after all the contact – I’d say is from her sorting you into BB status. In this case, rather than a) her fearing an angry wife, b) testing if you are alpha enough to handle the social pressure and c) demonstrating… Read more »
@Centuries I’m not going to step in here bc @Sentient has got it, except that I’ll say ignore the age difference. As someone that been banging 28 years younger since last November: https://imgur.com/a/5dHw7v1 She curls up on me like a cat at every opportunity. Honestly, it’s against all social norms. If I’m in the bathroom in the morning she comes up behind me and looks in the mirror while snuggling in to my shoulder it feels totally normal. But sometimes I look at us both and think “how the fuck did that happen & is this even real?” It did… Read more »
@Palma Thanks for the motivation @Sentient “So if I understand correctly, with all these meetings you’ve not escalated at all,are out p in v etc right?” Correct – though I was travelling for work and got sick for a few weeks which put me under for a bit I also think I have missed opportunity to escalate kino and feel like I’m a stuck in C1. I’ll keep working CC but I may need to move harder on escalating the sexualized talk and kino. That might be a block I have to get through/over it has been a long time… Read more »
“to find the time, activities and locations to meet other women ”
Women are everywhere- except your room. Go out, coffee in the morning, park or restaurant for lunch, Happy hour after work, dinner at a restaurant with bar scene etc.
It’s all there. You don’t need to go to nightclubs at midnight.
K. – who texted me 5 days ago aswered my “You just want to show me off as a trophy” with “You and trophy?” lol. Took her 5 days to sort that^^ answer out. Now I heard her school has prom-night (is that correct? – it’s like a party or ball to celebrate the end of schooltime). So she might be looking / have been looking for a dancing partner for that night – under the precondition she’s in the same class level as the friend of mine who attends that ball tonight, which might imply she failed and had… Read more »
Nnn1
Cheeky is good. But follow that text a couple minutes later with something that will engage her.
“Of course it all depends on what you might wear. What do you have in mind?” Etc. Something that will keep things moving forward.
@Sentient
I saw your post now, but texted her yesterday. So I’m not sure if it might not come across as pretty needy if I text her that chat invitation now – on the other hand the cost of sending it is marginal if she’s to confused by the preceeding text.
So I’m gonna wait until about 8pm to text her and see what happens.
Palma If someone pushes me, I’m going to push back, not take out a gun and shoot him ten times. It’s not proportionate unless he refuses to back off after I’ve pushed back (which I will do in person as all you guys suggested). Plus if I go the reveal-hookers-and-blow route, I don’t want the breakup of his family and wife taking the kids etc and leaving on my conscience – he can fuck that up on his own if he wants. I’m having a vague memory of you posting a story years ago – something about a tramp near… Read more »
Hung out briefly with CC yesterday afternoon. played some guessing games about each other. So she goes on about how much she really really likes me but later during the conversation when I suggest she invites me over on a weekend to cook one of my favorite foods that she likes too, since I’m not much of a cook, she balks at that, says it takes her months to get to know someone, I feel this is an iffy state – have I regressed to AFC territory or am I missing the path forward with getting with her or is… Read more »
Stuck in mod so another attempt: @Centuries Additionally during the conversations she lays out that she needs to scratch a bug bite in her butt cheek – what is this? Beta bait. Just like every other mixed signal you find confusing in her behavior. She’s exercising her female influence over you without feeling an unstoppable desire to hop your dick. You’ve overcooked this throughout hundreds of soft and friendly interactions. You’re not a forbidden fruit or sexual threat in her mind at this point. She knows she can tease you and gets validation hits from that. And you keep sending… Read more »
@Centuries I just had to make a few comments on this Hung out briefly with CC yesterday afternoon. played some guessing games about each other. Free attention and validation So she goes on about how much she really really likes me Beta bait – how did you respond? Did you swoon and say “awwww thanks, I like you too” or did you give it the roger moore eyebrow lift and ignore it? but later during the conversation when I suggest she invites me over on a weekend to cook one of my favorite foods that she likes too Whose frame… Read more »
Centuries
Totally agree with IRL and Palma
You need to read mystery method at least 4 times, and also probably game by heartiste, probably again 4 times.
Very concerned about your mindset.
@Palma “Beta bait – how did you respond? Did you swoon and say “awwww thanks, I like you too” or did you give it the roger moore eyebrow lift and ignore it?” I actually did a roger moore eyebrow lift and mostly ignored it. “but later during the conversation when I suggest she invites me over on a weekend to cook one of my favorite foods that she likes too. “Whose frame is this in? You’re gonna cook what she likes?” I was trying to plant the idea of her doing stuff for me “*is this a long game ASD… Read more »
@IRL Thanks for the assessment! “Cut the beta fluff. Get into her space more. Think things you’d do to her while lasering her… and talking about something plausible… with your low and deep late night DJ voice. See how she responds to kino (touch her wrist, waist, lower back etc.). Calibrate accordingly. Turn away and do something else if you get IODs. Make fun of her and tease her. Give her the gift of missing you, too. Poke her with the pointy stick of No. Talk to other women as more interesting than her. Reestablish the frame you want in… Read more »
@Centuries
This I will need to work on but I agree I need to move on this
Ok then. What are the 3 high leverage actions you can take to pave the way and make it start happening this coming week?
@IRL
Get Heartiste on game
Re-read Mystery
Find new random public place and cold approach at least once
Go cold / silent on CC as much as possible – not going to be easy for me – had to spend time with her today….
@Centuries When you reply as above it doesn’t seem as bad as it came across initially. Here’s a link as requested: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Heartiste-Game-Chateau/dp/1694969134 Getting divorced is a tremendous opportunity for a total life change, and successfully getting with younger woman is unparalleled in terms of fun and payback but it does require a total brain rebuild. I can’t really over emphasise, but my entire social circle evaporated upon my divorce nearly a decade ago. And to be honest, though I didn’t see it at the time, I’m glad to see the back of them. I don’t think I’d be where I… Read more »
LOL@ “late night DJ voice” – someone has thoroughly internalized Chris Voss. It works too – I can’t remember exactly how the topic came up or why we were talking with other women (I think we may have been joking about meeting new people at a conference) but I was talking with my wife a few years ago and I lasered her and used that voice, and she looked at me and was like “if you talk to any woman at the conference like that, I will cut your balls off”, and I started laughing… Centuries – not a full… Read more »
I have been making a real effort to make eye contact with women everywhere – walking down the street etc. It’s remarkable how often when I do this, I get EC and a sheepish smile and a look away.
I don’t actually make full EC with all the women I look at, but when EC is made, I would say that reaction happens more than 50% of the time.
Field Report / update So the RD has gone home after 8 weeks. It’s astonished me that I’ve managed 8 weeks of someone in my space when I haven’t been able to put up with anyone around me for more then 3 days in the last decade. The day before she went she was hiding her tears in bed / denying them, but it was obv.. I was suspecting that I was going to struggle with her going; but actually I’m not doing too badly. I think this is mainly because I have internalised a lot of game now, I… Read more »
Palmasailor
So I’m just rambling here, but where you see these large age gap things (except celebrities) it’s usually a situational alpha,…
That’s a big part of the plot in Last Tango in Paris, 1973. Of course, it’s an over-the-top drama from the 70’s, but still worth watching with The Glasses on.
The restored cut is rated NC-17, probably because of…the butter.
Palma,
What do you feed a woman to lower her sex drive?
Wedding cake, tsh
@Stuffinbox
How do you turn a fox into a pig?
Marry it…
Lol
Palma, I may be singing to the choir , it bears repeating. When your future is so bright you have to wear shades and things are so good they can only get better. The best way to get desperate hot sex from a woman is to keep her desperate and make her hot. Feature 40 years with the same woman and still can’t show her what’s inside at the risk of killing desire. Before I found Rollo’s work I’d considered renewing vows, now I know better. First it’s a desire killer then who is chasing her to draw the do… Read more »
@Stuffinbox
Thanks. But let’s get this right, I’m not going to marry her, I just like having her around!
I’ve said that I’m having to move and it’s because my landlords wife is throwing him out and the flat I’m renting from him is the cheapest property he’s got. It’s worth about £700k So he’s very apologetic about all this and I’m leaving early because I want it concluded and so does he. I could spin it out to the end of the contract but there’s no point. So he arrives to look at the condition ref the deposit etc.. and he’s in a bad way. She’s thrown him out before and last time he lived here and re… Read more »
Palma
Yes many lessons from your last two FRs. Good job my man.
@Palma LOL@ the 16 year old. It’s often so difficult to tell. I remember many years ago I was daygaming at a seaside town near me with a pier and a beach, and it was nearly impossible to tell which girls were college girls etc and which ones were actually underage. At least in a bar you can rely on the bouncers to check IDs (mostly, barring fake IDs etc). I also remember back when I was doing sugar daddy websites, I had one girl who lied about being 18 on the site and admitted in PMs that she was… Read more »
@OTP
you’ve basically decided she’s okay to be the mother of a potential kid haven’t you, for all practical purposes?
Yes.
Palma
But where is the “paying child support for 18 years reeeeeee!!!” Crowd? 😆
You hear anything about anti Vax protests at BBC headquarters?
@Sentient But where is the “paying child support for 18 years reeeeeee!!!” Crowd? 😆 Dunno. But if the child happens – I want it and I’m expecting to support it. That said it could play out in any number of 100 ways. From her staying here, to just fucking off. She has substantial independent family money. But that doesn’t buy her this: https://imgur.com/a/rKp31Us Which is what she needs. I’ve no idea how much but she does what she wants. I’m at the curious point where just knowing there’s more of a legacy out there (genetic if nothing else) would be… Read more »
So I upped the kino with CC over the past week and she was very receptive. However the other evening we went out for drinks and she sprung the lets just be friends, and actually she actually said those exact words. LOL. I did my best with the red pill MPOO that I have internalized over the last 4 years, to go through the evening with her on that. She had a few items that were the reasons, 30-year age gap (still younger than her mom and dad), although I’m separated I’m still married, the number of wives I’ve had,… Read more »
@Centuries So initially I said ghost her for at least a month, and you ended up out for drinks with her. Meh. I do t care what your social circle is like – THAT ^^ wasn’t necessary. So I upped the kino with CC over the past week and she was very receptive. You know, I’ve never actually agreed with kino per se. Looking back I’ve done it by accident by linking arms on a venue bounce. I don’t actually like the idea of touching them apart from that. However the other evening we went out for drinks and she… Read more »
@PalmaSailor “You stayed? You didn’t say “sorry we can’t be friends, pick up your half of the tab get up and walk and leave her sat there with zero free attention?”” ah this in hind site would have been a very good path, I’ll need to remember this for next time, “She didn’t want to owe you anything.” didn’t see that – thanks “More free attention ?” Agreed – needs to be stopped “In terms of this one, right now I’d tell her following your divorce you’ve decided against having female friends and good luck – you hope she finds… Read more »
Kino
If you’d started the initial contact with some kino and sexualization you go a long way from ever getting into the friendzone.
After half a dozen or more non kino and non sexualized interactions you really have too much ground to cover.
Kino is great for setting you apart early and registering as a sexual threat.
Again kino is not for arousal. It’s for subcomming comfort with touching women and conveying familiarity and dominance.
Centuries – of course what Palma and Sentient said, but I want to add a few points they didn’t emphasize. First, her reasons are all nonsense. It’s not about the age (I mean – look at Palma’s RD for what’s possible), or your marital history or whatever. That’s just her logical mind trying to explain her lack of attraction. There are plenty of 19 year old girls giving exactly the same speech to 19 year old boys right now, for the same reason. The real reason is that she has you slotted firmly into “beta” and “orbiter” status – ie,… Read more »
@Centuries These guys, OTP, sentient, HABD, IRL probably have a better technical understanding of game than me. I’m still heavily geared toward my former behaviours in a lot of ways. They’re more objective in their analysis of each precise thing you do than I am. Yesterday old friend hit me up after 9 months. He’s been a friend for years and we were going to go into business but I pulled out and he got really pissed. Anyway he said he missed the friendship and the confidante and there was no grudge etc.. Truth be known I miss it too… Read more »
@PalmaSailor
“Quick quiz question – can you actually tell me what generates attraction in women, what are the cues? Off the top of your head, without looking it up?”
without looking up of the top of my head
being dynamic, passionate and authentic, clear competence, metal dominance and or fortitude, being a man other men would want to be, being able to lead her
CC asked me to meet up briefly early this evening to reiterate that she wants to just be friends. I told her no way can I be just friends, I’ve vowed not to do that again and related a real story of a girl that I have been friends with and how it went badly for me. She seemed confused and saddened that I wouldn’t be friends and asked how could I not do that, what is wrong with that and such. I then walked away and went out and worked out with some semi-pro athletes, and kept up for… Read more »
@Centuries We’ll you’re getting there but it isn’t clear enough in your head. You haven’t read / absorbed Mystery Method. The bottom 2 levels of Maslows hierarchy. For the purposes of achieving genuine desire from women forget all the shit above the bottom 2 levels. It’s : The ability to physically protect And Provisioning. That means demonstrating the ability to go out and drag a wildebeest back to the cave to feed her / her offspring.. NOT doing some day job that allows you to BUY food. It’s not the same thing at all from a primal perspective. The above… Read more »