What’s been popularized in our social consciousness as ‘emotional detachment‘ is not a manipulation tactic of men. Men’s mental firmware processes emotion differently from women, but because we live in a feminine-primary social order we’re conditioned to believe that the way women process emotion is the “correct” way for men to process them as well. I made the point a little while ago in another essay that what we think is men’s incorrect way of communicating with other men is really men’s natural way of communicating. I’d linked to an article in the Boston Globe about the problem of “lonely middle aged men” and how they don’t do communication and friendship like women do. Men’s natural, general, indifference to their emotional state isn’t a bug, it’s a feature of our mental firmware.
This isn’t to say men don’t get lonely or share the same emotional states as women, but it is to say that men do emotions differently than women. We are naturally predisposed to prioritize information above emotion; the Instinctual and Rational processes come before emotion in our interpretive process. I can remember early on in my marriage when I would talk to a buddy of mine on the phone and then abruptly just say “see ya” or hang up. He knew I’d call him back to relay whatever info we were discussing sooner or later, but my wife thought something was wrong. “Is everything OK with Ray?” she’d ask, and I said “Yeah, why wouldn’t it?” She explained that she thought my ending the call like that was rude or that we’d had an argument. She was used to long drawn conversations with girlfriends or her sister and then ending them by some confessions of how much they would miss each other or some other meaningful way.
She thought my way of communicating was wrong, but this is how men interact with each other – say what you mean, mean what you say and get to the point. This was also the presupposition of the Boston Globe article and many other posts; men do communication wrong, men do emotion wrong, and therefore they must be conditioned to do them correctly. That is to say, like women do.
Men lack the hardware and the firmware to do this, but they are conditioned to reflexively respond as women do from the earliest age. Thus, when a man processes emotion naturally it appears he’s not “feeling” correctly or isn’t “emotionally available” to female-correct sensibilities. In this context a man doing emotion as his innate predispositions compel him to seems like he’s deliberately playing out some ’emotional detachment’ game. But rather than accept that men and women are different and deal with emotions in different ways our egalitarian Blue Pill conditioning makes us presume the man is being inauthentic.
“He’s not really that way, it’s an act, or he’s just withholding his emotions to hurt a woman.” This is the rationale that female-correct society has to resort to because accepting that men evolved to process emotions differently would also mean that men and women are not the functional “equals” that blank-slate equalism is founded on. Thus, their emphasis is to pathologize this emotional detachment and make it one more negative aspect of maleness in need of a ‘cure’.
I think your comments are pertinent and you brought good rational arguments. However they are along the lines of “that’s how we are, men and women”, that’s how we evolved and we can’t do anything about it because it’s in our DNA and our mental programming. Feminism is marching on the fact that we’re born equal, even if there are obvious biological differences. Yes, women emote more and have the means to be greater emotional manipulators. But men can learn the so called feminine behaviors (The so called Game actually involves this and I noticed some of the PUAs mentioning that it’s the bisexual men who are actually the greatest players) and women can also learn the so called manly behaviors (there are a lot of examples especially in our current society). Is it good, is it bad? Hard to say. The thing is that the family is an artificial construction that helped our civilization flourish and it’s been lately systematically destroyed due to what you’re calling feminine primary social order.
Evolution is a continuous process and my opinion is that it’s either people will somehow transcend their biology (see AI or some kind of other conscious evolution) or after some “dark” times of men being more like women and women more like men the things will come to the previous “normality” of feminine women and manly men.
Human beings will not transcend their own evolution, they will adapt with their environments, but they will not be removed from its influences. We’ve been force fitting and conditioning men to be women for the past five generation. We presume that the feminine is the correct, unitary way that humans should be. We call that egalitarian equality, but what it comes down to is adopting a universal correct mode of being and it’s founded on feminine/female control of what is right and wrong – at least for the time being.
However, this force-fits boys and men into an unnatural state they never evolved for and all because the feminine is the presumed correct gender norm that we base equality on. We’re all expected to be equally female. What has that got us in those past five generations? A male suicide rate five times that of women. Boys prescribed sedatives for acting like boys instead of ‘correct’ girls. I can go on.
The fact remains that you and many others of your mindset believe that evolving or being in control of that process only progresses if boys and men “transcend” their biology and think like correct females. It is the height of new agey metaphysical woo woo hubris to expect one sex to behave counter to its 100,000 years of evolved nature and become like the other to accommodate what it thinks should be correct. This is the crux here; the feminine-primary social order we live in today is predicated on the infallibility of the female experience, however, this experience is only validated if both men and women are prioritizing women’s Emotional process as a way of interpreting the world.
Its probably impossible for a person to “let shit go” as a stand-alone concept – especially the really bad shit from childhood or adolescence. We (the advice givers) tend to focus on the event (the shit) that happened, but the event isn’t what the traumatized hold on to, despite the presence or absence of a memory of the traumatic event. As humans, we all have to have a means of coping, or dealing with the world around us. Rollo is posting about a significant part of that coping mechanism now – instinct, emotion and reason – that lead us to… Read more »
@Oscar Good luck in raising your T levels. I have some suggestions. Not all men can absorb gels , and it’s not the ideal manner of delivery, BUT, you may see some great progress with gels since you are starting out so low. See how you progress, but keep injectable in mind ( even though they might come with a host of estrogen management obstacles ). Change your diet as much as you can by cutting or eliminating carbs and sugars, and increasing fats and oils. Read up on ketogenic and paleo type diets. Test is manufactured using rate and… Read more »
…. As I age more.
“Rather, the tricky thing about it is that we need to displace it with some other process…” No. There’s no required quota of processes demanded here. You can just not overanalyze, drop the buffers and sculpt a new you. You know how Michelangelo carved the statue David? He just chopped away that which was not David, he didn’t add more rock (or processes). That requires you to be a streamlined you, no buffers, no too smart by half planning and forcefit pickup videos. It can be done if you’re willing…and I mean really willing…to overturn your wheelbarrow without dumping it… Read more »
Eh…you are wrong. There is a meta-dialog we all engage in. Stop right now as you read this and listen to the “supervisors voice” in your head. You can’t make it go away. Eastern philosophy teaches that once we train ourselves to do so, we can enter nirvana. But it also teaches us that while we meditate, our minds WILL wander, but don’t worry about that, just bring it back again. That is the process I am talking about, even if you don’t understand that. You cannot remove it, or drop it, or leave it behind, because it IS you.… Read more »
Yeah. I lecture well. It’s a hobby.
I’m agreeing against force. Less is more.
@Blax Thank you, as always I really appreciate your advice. I have been lifting for several months and already made substantial progress, although not so much aesthetically. I like it nonetheless, I have never been much into soccer which is what people play here. I have also changed what I eat, which was not hard since my parents have always been very concerned with healthy habits but like many other people bought into the fat=bad equation. I am converting them right now 🙂 It is going to be quite a battle but at least I know where I stand now,… Read more »
Useless platitudes…not what I have come to expect from you. Certainly not helpful to others in the midst of that quandry.
Well I’m not sure how eastern philosophy has any relevance. I just don’t put much thought to it. I don’t even think about my supervisor voice. How’s that for clearing my mind? No joke. I don’t think about it.
I’ve done something last few years and it had to do with doing less, moving less, thinking less, controlling less. That’s my m.o.
Force of will can do NOTHING against your basic human nature …..because they try to follow your advice and will themselves to stop something something that, in reality, cannot be stopped. It can only be re-directed.” Utter bullshit. And non-sensical. It’s not about will which is another term for one step further from desire. Inner intention will get a man nowhere, man. What gets you somewhere is outer intention and outward directed action. You can’t use your mind to align with your desires (heart and soul) and overcome your ID? WTF? Have you not heard of the concept of self… Read more »
I wrote a bunch of stuff to better explain why you should come around to my way of understanding these matters, but then I realized that it would n’t make much difference, because this…
“Well I’m not sure how eastern philosophy has any relevance.”
Given enough time, perhaps you will, but it will not be me that shows it to you.
Benny and Peggy takin’ hypergamy home:
“Given enough time, perhaps you will, but it will not be me that shows it to you.”
Say mysteeeerious mountaintop bearded Chinese wiseman…
No its NOT perverted limiting belief, its the condition of man. It is a real limit. Without a belief system, we cannot function. At lease we cannot function “normally” (there is the psycho-/socio-path thing, but lets not start that up again). As someone else previously said, denial of real limits becomes the limiting belief. Our belief system includes instinct, emotion, reason and values. I am not saying that the belief system cannot be changed, nor that individuals are not able to impose, nor responsible for self-imposed false limits. I am saying that one cannot remove your belief system, one can… Read more »
Say mysteeeerious mountaintop bearded Chinese wiseman…
Its only a mystery until you understand it.
Say mysteeeerious mountaintop bearded Chinese wiseman…
Its only a mystery until you understand it.
The mountain is a mole hill.
“Its only a mystery until you understand it.”
Wildman, is that you?
Most of western society is completely unfamiliar with eastern ( or any other ) philosophy or thought.
@Oscar Did you read the T level of @Blaximus? Whatever doctor prescribed you the “gel” would panic if your T levels were the same, but it’s about what it takes to bring up the “T-free” level. “T-free” matters because it’s an indicator of how much T your body is actually able to utilize. Please email my buddy Jay Campbell. He will give you a download of his book “The T…Optimization Therapy Bible” for free. Jay will tell you that the gels and creams often LOWER T levels. Further, if you’re in the U S it’s time to get a doctor… Read more »
[…] and abridged from Emotional Difference, from The Rational Male blog by Rollo […]
May 9, 2018 at 1:37 pm
May 9, 2018 at 10:39 am
And don’t advocate for being a man in a box. It’s unbecoming. You’re the one clinging to pop psychology.
You can’t change your governing beliefs without changing yourself. Beliefs are unconsciously defended by a bubble of self-sealing logic, which maintains them even when they are invalid, to protect personal identity and self-worth. Beliefs are tools for thinking and provide rules for action, but they can also create artificial constraints that blind you to valid possibilities. –Liminal Thinking Principles.
How does eastern philosophy have anything to do with this? Alright, alright, I’ll spell it out for you, but only because ther ARE areas of advice you have to provide that I find valuable – just not with regard to this thread. <a href="https://www.google.com/search?ei=W7nzWoXNBoy15gKe943gCQ&q=stoicicsm+and+buddhism&oq=stoicicsm+and+buddhism&gs_l=psy-ab.3..35i39k1j0i13k1j0i13i5i30k1j0i8i13i30k1.19111.21125.0.252126.96.36.199.0.0.0.92.3188.8.131.52….0…1.1.64.psy-ab..0.4.355…0i8i7i30k1j0i8i7i10i30k1j0i7i5i30k1.0.34-svpzHhpw"IT Methinks thou dost protest too much. You see, the thing is, in order for your defenses to be effective, the only one they must fool is you. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say most everyone participating, and probably lurking, too, still has some sacred cows to kill off. But they are smart… Read more »
Aww shit…I spoiled the effect. shoulda looked like this…
Rollo, how about the full-fledged Forum I suggested? That might have helped me here.
There’s two types of people in this world – those that agree with me, and you guys – JK ;>) Seriously, most people develop response mechanisms, sometimes referred to as defense mechanisms, that are age and developmentally appropriate for the time and circumstance. As we grow and mature through that stage, and those circumstances are encountered with less and less frequency, the mechanisms become less effective, and less useful, so we displace them with new ones that are relevant to our next stage of growth and maturity. This is healthy and we call it growing up, or maturing. Some people,… Read more »
marelius Thank you for understanding https://beyondmeds.com/2013/12/16/the-body-keeps-the-score/ https://beyondmeds.com/2013/12/17/the-body-keeps-the-score-part-two-how-trauma-changes-us/ “The Body in Trauma Trauma survivors often can’t tell us where they feel things in their bodies. The body is too scary of a place to go into for them. We need to be persistent to get them to go inside, to activate the MPC. However, the earlier the trauma the harder it is to get them to go inside because they have no experience of interception that is not terrifying. Part of the healing process involves helping them to feel safe in their own interior world, possibly for the first time. However,… Read more »
Over the last month or so 3 of my very Alpha mates have all separated from their long term partners. Interesting times, indeed. It’s given me the opportunity to flip TRM etc into the circle, especially with my main man who has been a very good “big brother” to me. Now i have started sharing Red Pill wisdom with him and he’s very receptive, though it’s how he’s been living ever since we met and years before that no doubt. He mentioned how he’s let lots of things slip over the years in his life, being committed to bringing up… Read more »
I’ve just finished reading ‘The Rational Male’ and I want to thank you, Rollo, for writing it. Big eye opener. One effect of having read it is how much less resentment I feel towards my ex-wife. Hypergamy explains EVERYTHING that happened. Deep down I saw her as a villain who betrayed me, but now I see her as a kind of (very beautiful) emotional Rottweiler who was after what she wanted and I was collateral damage. My son too, in a way—he certainly didn’t want Mummy and Daddy to divorce, but she was adament. Now I understand why and that… Read more »
@ Sam Botta
Hi there, I enjoy your readings of Rollo’s works. I am in Spain, where healthcare quite differently than it does in America, but I will explore all possibilities available nonetheless. I will probably get Jay Campbell’s book on print since I am trying to use screens less. Thank you for your interest.
@Oscar: if you don’t mind me asking, how did you convince the (state-funded) doctor to test your T-level?
Also, keep lifting and eating properly and you won’t have to say “I’m skinny fat” in a few months time. Are keeping track of your macro nutrient intake (carbohydrate, fat, protein)? There are some tools online that can help your awareness of how much of each you are taking in.
@IAS I was honest and told him that I had been doing some research on my own and that I feared low T given my plunge towards a negative outlook on life. He was a bit skeptical since I mentioned the Internet but my delivery was very earnest (the same seriousness that is kryptonite to girls was finally worth it lol). I totally intend to keep lifting, which I don’t find particularly taxing thrice a week. I have a good starting point since I have never being a couch potato and used to do cardio regularly; only strength training was… Read more »
…Part of the healing process involves helping them to feel safe in their own interior world, possibly for the first time. However, when clients go into the images, sounds, scents – into the wounding – the arousal system is activated, so we must monitor their reactions to keep them in the experience and not retreating into the story. …Part of trauma repetition may be self-medicating with our own brain chemicals. …Eat that, Off to build myself my secret empire… I see what you are doing there. Doubling down on not changing. Self destruction is not self improvement. You’ re not… Read more »
Have a look at all health related links from @j and comments from @Blaximus over here:
I used to do lifting the easy way–as quickly as possible…now I lift slowly and stop and hold after a partial lift, then back to a partial drop, so that my muscles don’t relax during a set…kind of like what kfg suggested with squats, only I do it with all my lifts and exercises now…it’s a LOT harder, but now my muscles are gaining mass consistently where before I didn’t see much change
nobody else is gonna change you or make it any easier and waiting won’t make it easier, either
Not waiting changing approach and appreciation to the unknown.
“Self destruction is not self improvement. You’ re not so damaged as you portray yourself, but you want to be. Because that’s where you feel safer and get more attention.”
I was attempting to use humor before taking a nap. Don’t care for attention its use is only helpful if getting ones needs meet is applied in a none Dyisfunctional way. I also was making a reference to Alice in chains and in wonderland
“I was attempting to use humor before taking a nap. Don’t care for attention its use is only helpful if getting ones needs meet is applied in a none Dyisfunctional way. I also was making a reference to Alice in chains and in wonderland” You’re deflecting. You’re defending, explaining, excusing, and rationalizing your irrational, complacent, procrastinating behavior. Focus. Simplify. Stop thinking bad thoughts. Don’t do things that make you weak and unattractive to women or not have honor among men. In one sentence, tell me what is holding you back and why? And in a second sentence, what are you… Read more »
Hypergamy on display – Vanessa Trump
1. Alpha widow at 15…
2. Attempt to monkey branch with DiCaprio.
4. Super Beta Trump locked down
5. Baby factory
6. Beta bux infusion (Rao’s) enables Eat Pray Love
7. [Prediction – remarries 15 year older super beta within 2 years… Cause “wall”]
PS – man I miss letters like that… SWAK and all… And long summer nights when time stretched on endlessly, every day a year – cotton panties, Keds, hair spray, hickies… And as one author put it the “Lobster Newburg” aroma of young love…
Sad that generates will no longer know the pleasure of receiving a letter. Texts and emails – the immediacy of which renders them immaterial in contrast to waiting a week or more.
“Force of will can do NOTHING against your basic human nature”
Interpretation: Give up before you hurt yourself.
These are the words of a nihilist.
Force of will cannot directly change our emotions, but it can change our actions and thus change our emotions indirectly.
We must not be slaves…
1. to our emotions
2. to mental programs that malicious agents have installed in our minds
3. to our past
Great post, from a long time reader. In response to Playdontpay’s comment of the 7th, where he asks, “Is it just one Meta scale shit test so that the ‘nice guys’ more readily identify themselves so they know who NOT to fuck?” Yes, it’s designed to function exactly that way. Think of it this way. If you adopt a more openly emotional manner to suck up to a woman or women in general, you’ve just sorted yourself into a pile that a woman can disregard, enabling to see the alphas in the forest of beta trees. And if you resist… Read more »
I still write letter’s
Studying for a state test which i need a 70% passing score to finish Cleaning room up.
“In one sentence, tell me what is holding you back and why? And in a second sentence, what are you going to do about that?’
Eating sleeping doing. Have plan writing out next to me on taking the test and finishing it up
I will keep it into account, I admit I often take the “easy” route.
I had The Art of Manliness post already, and cooied Blax’s comments. Thanks.
It’s something I struggle with as well. I have to remember that anything worth doing is difficult.
@Oscar C.- You probably know this already (I assume you’re in the USA), but you can order your own T tests online. Just be sure to order the expensive and more accurate one. Also, do a Google search for anabolic men. In that blog the guy lists 52 things you can do to raise your T levels. Some of it may not be effective, but I took the advice wholesale and did everything on there. Within 6 months I had doubled my raw T number and tripled my free T number. Raising my T level changed the way I perceive… Read more »
“I admit I often take the “easy” route”
The body’s of males and females from such a time ago relationships and rebellion meaning a whole separate thing.
Most of western society is completely unfamiliar with any philosophy or thought.
Let’s catch some people up on western philosophy.
I found the theory of forms by Pythagoras particularly cogent considering the quest for perfect Game that’s talked about here so much. That’s an idea that came from somewhere.
Lives can be lived fully and completely without “eastern philosophy”
“Also, do a Google search for anabolic men. In that blog the guy lists 52 things you can do to raise your T levels. Some of it may not be effective, but I took the advice wholesale and did everything on there. Within 6 months I had doubled my raw T number and tripled my free T number. Raising my T level changed the way I perceive the world and how I act in it. Maybe worth a try.” Look everyone, testosterone is the closest thing to agency magic that ever existed, and only men have access to it. Without… Read more »
2 assignments –
Find out where Socrates and Plato went to study
Who established the first universities in spain.
Hint: you weren’t taught this in school. Ever. And most collegic institutions don’t normally teach the answer in more basic world/ancient history classes.
Yet, it’s in dozens of books. Some of which are in Greek and a thousand years old.
Depends on how one defines ” fully and completely “. Ever see Idiocracy?
“Socrates claimed to have learned rhetoric from Aspasia of Miletus, the de facto spouse of
Pericles (Plato, Menexenus); and to have learned erotics from the priestess Diotima of Mantinea (Plato, Symposium).”
Socrates no doubt had an eclectic education, based on the three primary sources, Aristophanes, Plato, and Xenophon. Not sure where Blax expects this to lead.
There’s plenty of bullshit in eastern philosophy, just like western.
Lol. You’re not even warm.
It is worth noting that, because of the Roman-Gothic legal tradition, Spanish universities are of royal rather than pontifical origin. The first university was founded in Palencia in 1212 by Alfonso VIII of Castile.
Or learn to use google. I didn’t have it 35 years ago.
Blax, you’re just full of bullshit, aren’t you? lol
Asd Google first universities Spain and Italy…..
On.second thought, nevermind. You’re absolutely ( common western ) correct in your cursory answers.😁
That’s an example of what you said earlier about people living fully and completely.
Every educated Greek took a “semester” of over sea study if there was any way they could swing it. To see the real civilization and meet the real educated masters.
HInt: The story of Atlantis supposedly came from there. Plato said it came from there to give it weight that no mere Greek teller would have.
Lol. I KNEW kfg wouldn’t disappoint.
I lost my spoon at feeding time and lost interest in finding it.
Every educated Greek took a “semester” of over sea study if there was any way they could swing it.
I’m shocked! Do you mean that students like to study overseas?
I like to study a broad myself.
Shit, Blax, are you talking about ancient Christian schools in Syria? Cuz they weren’t around during Socrates time. And my schooling presented Socrates as half myth, back in the day. Maybe even invented by Plato for dramatic effect.
Did you know that many of the supposedly Islamic scholars were actually Christian? And Byzantium preserved the ancient greek texts and Christian arab scholars (serving the Turks) transmitted them to Europe?
Here’s a favorable review of the book:
And here’s one from PBS:
“I like to study a broad myself.”
And how irrelevant got into my pajamas I’ll never know.
“Shit, Blax, are you talking about ancient Christian schools in Syria?”
OK, you’ve given me my WTF moment of the day.
Hint Two: Men fear time. Time fears . . . . ?
Evidently there’s nothing but Christianity. Even before Christ.
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled…..
When Socrates died, Plato left Athens, staying first in Megara, but then going on to several other places, including perhaps Cyrene, Italy, Sicily, and even Egypt. Strabo (17.29) claims that he was shown where Plato lived when he visited Heliopolis in Egypt. Plato occasionally mentions Egypt in his works, but not in ways that reveal much of any consequence (see, for examples, Phaedrus 274c-275b; Philebus 19b).
Nonetheless, it is plain that no influence on Plato was greater than that of Socrates.
Not no fucking Egyptians and damn few Eyetalians.
Sicialians sold ol’ Plato into slavery. Big surprise.
“And how irrelevant got into my pajamas I’ll never know.”
Probably through the back door.
I googled Socrates influences and got zilch. Plato was fruitful. Lots of bullshit there, though, about Horite priests.
You win a case of brawndo.
@ Oscar C.
Here’s the diet to shed the fat by ditching the carbs and eating more fats…
Had dinner last nite with some of my Alpha mates. This is a gang of men who have proved themselves to themselves and each other. The way of men. It was a very masculine dish cooked by the Boss: roast pig’s head. And it was very delicious indeed! I was chewing on the bristly “chinny chin chin” crackling. Five confident 50+ men in a remote country hideaway, hanging out, playing pool, having a few drinks, no women, no censorship, everyone DJ-ing but being ragged out if their drops weren’t up to a good masculine standard (though everyone had a dance… Read more »
When a woman says something is “wrong,” what she means is “I am not personally benefiting from this.”
The rise of the beta male cat simps… http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-12-11/the-rise-of-cat-men-antidote-to-toxic-masculinity/8082618
Come on Rugby You are just not getting to the heart of the matter. You are deflecting You are referencing metaphysics in your Peterson links. You can’t get into the slipstream of fundamental religion or non fundamental religion and keep your sanity about you. All that stuff is high level buffers to getting your masculine self enlightenment in order. To you going out and have agency and penetrate the world. To get stuff done. To matter. To not have to apologize for your upbringing. To shrug that off and proceed without high hurdles to step over the obstacles that present… Read more »
Very good advice from SJF to Rugby. Listen to him, man. I know it’s not easy smashing down the Blue Pill shell that engulfs so many males these days. I understand the buffering but you’ve just got to let it go, stop posting so many buffers and move forward into the world as a Red Pill man with no apologizing for who you are. It’s not always easy, we all know that, that’s why it’s so important to meet other Red Pill men in the real world (physical) and get your little gang happening. That’s very important, vital really, no… Read more »
@ Blax and ASD All you two need is a comb filled barbicude jar for full effect. SSF “It’s not easy being stoic all the time, but we must push on til death.” Don’t know much about stoicism, I get the isolation part. Men feel that everywhere…so you’ve lots of company. SIF writes in short: Life is not a race to completion. There is no completed life. I guess you’re feeling the crush of your inevitable death and are concerned about your legacy. I get that too. You invested a lot of your present and future worth in music. I’d… Read more »
Hey Kate, how’s Mark doing? Would love to see him interact here again.
This would be a lot simpler in the real world if i could have i meant that as a reference. Action over words…
Back to studying.
” it’s nice to have today…fed, watered.”
Found this just coming up on soundcloud. On phone so haven’t heard any of it.
When advising guys like Rugby, you guys are all so big on WHAT to do/not do, but far too short on HOW. Most of us trying to improve, adopt self-agency, and move forward, are generally in violent agreement with the WHAT/WHY of it all. But where is the HOW? What Rugby, and probably many others are really struggling with, is HOW to dismantle these buffers, especially when a guy may not even be aware of some of them, even if they are plainly obvious to a casual reader. Clearly Rugby is getting SOME value out of being repeatedly “slapped upside… Read more »
@Solitary Silver Fox “It’s not easy being stoic all the time, but we must push on til death.” Don’t know much about stoicism, I get the isolation part. Men feel that everywhere…so you’ve lots of company. We’re on the other side of the world from each other both figuratively and literally. But I’m damn glad to hear what you have been saying the last couple weeks about tribal affiliations with other men. Because it’s a redemption of sorts for the Stoic man. It’s a great venue to advance your cause (music, money and getting with women). 4.5 years ago I… Read more »
@ EH “TRM is convenient to unload your thoughts from out there in the bush. IMO, doesn’t matter where you are so much as you recognize it’s nice to have today…fed, watered. You moved out there for the basics, right? Mission accomplished.” Good to hear your response, EH. For the last decade or so it has been pretty satisfying living out here. But last summer it just wasn’t fun anymore. So for me just having the basics sorted isn’t enough anymore. Living alone for so long (with quite a few affairs over the years, but nothing serious) with no close… Read more »
Thanks for your feedback. Glad life is working out for you, bro… I hope i can turn my life around before it is too late as i’m starting to believe “the myth of the lonely old man” is not a myth…
Desire isn’t the problem. What you do to fulfill your desires is where the rubber meets the road.
You can desire wealth, but if you start robbing banks the end results will be most likely disastrous.
Eliminating desire isn’t practical, but figuring out the best way to have what you desire while minimizing any ruination is where the devil lies.
“I need a lot more to be happy, so i’m going for it.”
When you inevitably accomplish “a lot more”….whatever that is….then what? Wash, rinse, repeat your bush experience, longing for a woman, the dissatisfaction?
Your not getting younger. Your at the end of your 10 year liminal space. You know what the bucolic simple living is about now. Be bold or get used to your lot.
“is HOW to dismantle these buffers“
Do you have buffers, per chance? If so what are they?
Somewhat veering back on topic is this cite from PopSugar, pulled from a recent Dalrock thread: https://www.popsugar.com/moms/Why-Dads-Dont-Deserve-Praise-44576481 Speaking of stoicism. The one sentence I actually agree with, though not for her reasons, is “He’s their Dad, it’s his job”, meaning he shouldn’t get a medal for it. The better word which no one wants to use these days is that dirty word “duty”: it’s his duty, not just his job. The rest is all piffle really, though if you’re getting paid by the word I guess the paycheck is bupkes if you just end the piece there. Then there’s a… Read more »
really good read
Man child Men up Adult child Child Adult
i’m feeling pretty lonely right now
You must have an emotional desire, because it’s easy enough to go out and chat up a store clerk. I assume you would do that if it were simple loneliness.
@status confirmed Thanks, the website is great. I have not ruled out anything but of course I want to fully explore the natural way to raise T before anything else, and there is a lot of useful stuff there. @Silver Fox I knew about Keto already, but some people say it might not be ideal if you are lifting at the same time. Nonetheless I am already implementing a lot of their suggestions, I will keep reading and adjusting. In the end it seems as if you always have to personalize your diet to a certain degree. But yeah, thanks… Read more »