Well another year has come and gone. I generally view the end of August as my year marker for The Rational Male. I didn’t add a page for year 4 since I’m not sure I want to clutter up the top of my blog layout with links pages, but I may yet combine the best of years 4 and 5 into one page.
A lot has happened in this span, I began the Red Pill Monthly talks with Niko Chosky. I still think I sound like a nasally teenager when I hear my voice, but the feedback has been nothing short of amazing on these so I believe we’ll continue with them for the foreseeable future.
Right after my year 4 best-of I did my first liv appearance in Vegas with Christian, Goldmund and Tanner Guzy at The Man in Demand Conference. I’ve discussed doing another one with Christian McQueen and we’re looking into venues for 2017. This was just an overwhelming experience to meet up with my readers in person, do the talk and have dinner at Sinatra’s. This was the first time for me to do an on premise event and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a nervous wreck the night before, but every guy in attendance just impressed me to no end and the whole thing was something I’ll remember for the rest of my life.
I went through the process of having the audio mastered (courtesy of Sam Botta) to make it available via DigiRAMP for anyone to get a hold of now too.
Probably the biggest TRM news of 2016 was the release of the audio book of The Rational Male. It was a long time coming, but I think well worth the wait. I’ve come to believe that a book needs a time to mature into what its overall reception will be. The Rational Male book continues to sell very well and my focus has always been on emphasizing the printed book above all else since I feel that medium is the best to spark discussions and pass along to men who need it at the right time. That said, Sam Botta convinced me that men listen to books more than they read them so I thought the time was right and he’d just gotten back in the saddle so to speak after his debilitation in a hit & run car incident.
The book has exceeded any expectation I ever had for it and I still receive emails and tweets about how it’s changed men’s lives in the best possible way. The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine is also doing far better than I’d hoped if not eclipsing the first book. Sam and I are now in the process of doing the audio for TRMPM and I expect it will go live in early 2017.
The blog traffic continues to grow too.
As most readers know, I do very little self-promotion for TRM and I only advertise the book on the TRP reddit forum and posting occasional Amazon reviews on Twitter. I always want the the message of this blog and my work to be relayed by the men who read and contribute to it. I’m a believer in the bottom up plan for improving men’s lives and ultimately the social order we find ourselves. I’m glad to see men passing on what they learn here. I’m happy to be able to focus on my ideas and have men spread the word for me.
I’ve done art direction and brand management for over two decades now. It’s what I do for a living so it wouldn’t be a stretch for me to convert TRM into a similar commercial success, but that’s never been my goal. From the outset I wanted to just do what I do and talk about the ideas I’ve come to or the dots I’ve connected. That isn’t to say I don’t appreciate making a little money from it, but I’ll never compromise my message to sell more books or start a Patreon site.
I’ve had guys tell me I should quit my day job and write full time, but I’ve never really needed to be an author for my livelihood. I do quite well for myself and not being beholden to being an official author allows me the freedom to do what I do without the concern of having to write ‘for’ anyone. I know there are guys whose schtick is to treat their writing like a product and they tell you to write for what your audience wants to read, but I think this inherently compromises the authenticity of the real message.
My goal isn’t to sell books, it’s to genuinely change men’s lives for the better with the tools and truths I present in my work. The Rational Male isn’t a ‘product’ for salesmen to sell, it’s a collection of ideas that, really, we’re all responsible for authorship of. Ideas are a hard thing to suppress, and they last far longer than the men who conceived them.
Honestly, when I started this blog back in 2011 I never imagined it would grow into what it’s become today. I have some plans now to do a site redesign. I’ve never really focused on the look of the blog, I just poured myself into its content, but I think after 5 years I’ll freshen the look up soon. I’m also in the middle of the first round of edits for my third book, the working title being The Rational Male, The Red Pill. That may change, but the primary focus will be on defining what the Red Pill is from an intersexual dynamics perspective. As a matter of policy I generally refrain from being too prescriptive for individual men to apply their Red Pill awareness, but in the new book I’ll break this rule and provide some generally applicable ways to live in a Red Pill paradigm.
Red Pill parenting and family interactions in a feminine-primary social order will feature prominently. Yes, it will include selections from the blog again, but with each I’ve added what I believe are general solutions to Red Pill problems, plus more new content.
Well, that’s it. I continue to be humbled by the response and reception of The Rational Male and I want to extend my true gratitude for everyone’s input, participation, reading my ideas and helping me do what I do – even the critics and detractors make me a better Red Pill author. So here’s what I thought represents the best posts from year 5.
Let me know what your favorites were in the comments and let me know how TRM has helped you as well.
With much gratitude,
Rollo Tomassi
Interviews
The Feminine Imperative
Parenting
Red Pill / Game
Positive Masculinity
Hypergamy
Social
[…] The Best Of The Rational Male – Year 5 […]
“I know there are guys whose schtick is to treat their writing like a product and they tell you to write for what your audience wants to read, but I think this inherently compromises the authenticity of the real message.” An experience I’ve gone through on YT a number of times: I find a channel I like. Somebody talking about things that they’re itching to talk about and I find their point of view interesting – and that’s what I’m looking for. People saying things that are important to them, even things that I may disagree with. And it goes… Read more »
” and to do that I want you to tell what YOU want me to talk about.” men never stop finding ways to cut off their own balls respect and freedom of speech are way more important than agreement ever since I first heard ben fold five band music I hated it. really hated it. then I heard way to normal. to this day I still play the whole thing through at least thgree times before I move on. brilliant. focused. layered. then I heard lonely avenue. might be better than way to normal. hard to say. hornby is gifted… Read more »
Keep up the excellent work!
You certainly have helped change my perspective on many things. Thanks!
Congratz for year five and muchos gracias Sir!
Thank you for everything Rollo. While I appreciate the advice for older guys with families, it’d be cool to see some advice aimed at guys in the middle period of mid to late 20’s to 30’s when a man’s friends are settling down left right and center and the pressure to conform becomes hardest… Becoming the “enemy” in all of your friends girlfriend’s eyes, friends buying houses and focusing on their spouses, sometimes make you question the life choices. Developing hobbies and establishing and maintaining a male tribe or fraternity in the face of feminine resistance, moving to where the… Read more »
Hey Rollo, your blog and books are a game changer in my life. I’m excited to hear about the parenting aspects the blog topics may be going towards.
A big congrats on year five and also on being able to do this in addition to family and career. Your dedication, heart, and analysis is a beacon of light in a muddled world.
And also a big thanks to the many commenters that contribute positively to this blog.
It goes without saying but it’s always nice to say, that this blog has changed my life for the positive.
Thanks for changing my life!
Rollo, Thank you for what you’ve done. If you had done nothing beyond writing The Rational Male, you would have already made more of a contribution to the cause of male freedom than anyone else. I’m rereading it constantly, and it has restored my life and my sanity. My life is so much richer for the clarity of your book, and the practical ideas that they suggest. I’m an older guy (nearly 60), but I’ve managed to find the strength to leave a loveless marriage and strike out on my own, terrified but determined – – and significantly financially damaged.… Read more »
@Ergo. I lost a lot on my divorce (~20 years ago), but as my father told me happiness and peace of mind are priceless. I left with no alimony, no loss of retirement, no CS (0 kids), but lost the house and a car. I gained so much more afterwards. I feel your freedom and happiness brother.
@KFG, Fleezer What, exactly, are you trying to say? That Rollo has jumped the shark because he has asked what were guy’s favourite posts and how TRM has helped? Hardly the same as saying “so.. whaddaya youse wanna talk about?”. As to content, there probably is a logical limit as to the practical number of common situations where underlying RP theory may be applied. There’s probably some scope to explore RP in relationships between men, and in employment. On the other hand, Rollo isn’t doing this for his own edification. He isn’t doing this in a vacuum. If he wants… Read more »
“What, exactly, are you trying to say? That Rollo has jumped the shark because he has asked what were guy’s favourite posts and how TRM has helped?”
No. I was agreeing with him, and quoted the bit I agreed with before expressing my agreement.
All I want to do is change a WordPress theme. 😒
50 yr old divorced father of 14 yr old twin boys. I came into RP about 5 yrs ago after a few failed attempts at dating. Low point was being rejected a 47 yr old overweight single mom with teenage kids. I’m so glad that didn’t work out now! Best part for me is being able to look back on my mistakes and CLEARLY see where I screwed up, and to look at my friends’ failing marriages and see what they’re doing wrong too. Not sure if I’ll ever want another relationship but it’s nice knowing what to do right… Read more »
Massive Props.
Keep fighting the good fight Rollo (and everyone else)
“All I want to do is change a WordPress theme”
How about all comments on one page and nested comments? Big time saver…
Keep up the good work. After bouncing around the dating scene for the last number of months, I did a quick reread of some important sections of the Rational Male to be better armed. I just had a woman try to lock me into exclusivity under her frame and her terms. She wanted me to make her the purpose of my life. She wanted me to spend most of my free time with her. She claimed to have no other boyfriends, and she wanted me to give up my other girlfriends. When I refused to be exclusive, she dropped me.… Read more »
The Losing My Religion post was easily the best of 2016. Especially with Ya Really trying to convince the older men around here that having an alpha frame is not enough to keep an under age 25 girl HB 7+ loyal with all that exposure she has had to social media- FB,twitter,Linked-in,Tinder etc.
Rollo when I build my family ifs it’s ok with you. To be placed as the godfather.
@Ergo Slug – FUCKING THIS! “Your book literally helped me change myself from a drone trapped into a life of “obligation” to serve others as a slave to their unreasonable demands, into a fully free man with a meaningful life centered around things that truly matter to me.” I wonder why guys here never respond to my commentary on “eusociality” and group selection? Socializing men to value themselves based on service to the collective and/or to women and family is a crucial aspect of modern human society. But it has a devastating psycho-social cost on the men who put that… Read more »
@ Rollo Excited about the new book, and also very glad to be a part of this community. I’m really glad to hear your take on writing, too, as a fellow (closet) writer myself. I won’t get into that except to say I’m 100% on board with your take on authenticity and the importance of not diluting or compromising anything in exchange for some paltry ego gratification. Which, by the way, I also see as a definition of Beta. Seeing other RP bloggers go Purple Pill made me lose just about every ounce of respect I previously had for them….definitely… Read more »
@ scrib Right on. I would’ve been completely opposed to that advice before TRM, because of the White Knight brainwashing. I swallowed Beta Game hook, line, and sinker, and would’ve tried to throw you under the bus in hopes that some random Internet chick would notice me and want to bang me for being so noble. That is UTTER INSANITY that I’m beyond elated to have moved beyond. And now the initial anger, rage, depression and hatred I had when I first found TRM years ago is just about dissipated. I was an extremely bitter, hateful, resentful guy when I… Read more »
Before I even embark on reading the post…first…and always…May we all raise a glass….To Rollo!!!
Eternal gratitude brother.👍👊✊
“the hope is that some bright new packaging and a shelf reset” Just a theme change isn’t a big deal. Rollo is basically giving a heads up he will change it. Some people go their panties all in a bunch over a site change so it’s good to let them know ahead of time. Others don’t give a crap. Themes and styles should be congruent to the content. Rolex watches don’t get delivered and sold in a rusty metal can. Why shouldn’t the style match the content? It’s not like he is going to do the inverse, making the content… Read more »
“While I appreciate the advice for older guys with families, it’d be cool to see some advice aimed at guys in the middle period of mid to late 20’s to 30’s when a man’s friends are settling down left right and center and the pressure to conform becomes hardest…”
+1. Easy to say spinning plates at 33 is the way to go, but when you go on a family trip and all your brothers and sisters are with their respective spouses it sucks.
No amount of thanks would be sufficient enough to express what you’ve contributed toward the greater good of men everywhere, Rollo. I can’t even visualize where I might be today if not for TRM and the thoughtful and unfiltered dialogue that occurs here. Although I don’t comment as much as I used to, I do read everything–including the comments–that are published here. And I have managed to help out a few other men I know by sending them here, then being available to answer their questions, and, if necessary, redirect their energies back to focus on a Red Pill mindset… Read more »
Congratulations on the milestone Rollo! Your work has been invaluable to many, and obviously you’ve been very successful. It is an interesting juxtaposition against some of your detractors who’ve headed into the dustbin of obscurity. It almost makes one want to Giggle. 🙂
@Carl
“Especially with Ya Really trying to convince the older men around here that having an alpha frame is not enough to keep an under age 25 girl HB 7+ loyal with all that exposure she has had to social media- FB,twitter,Linked-in,Tinder etc.”
“Monogamy” in 2016:
http://i.imgur.com/aZE5tcT.jpg
She keeps her orbiters because she “can’t delete Facebook that’s how I keep in touch with my family!!” while the guy gives up his options. SIGN ME UP!! lol
All I want to do is change a WordPress theme. 😒
Geeze, start with something easier, like a perpetual motion machine.
@scrib and @phluff and others I never thought about eusociality ‘cos it’s one of them $5 wurds us inter-lectuals don’t use. More seriously, it never impacted on me because of how non-conformity was literally beaten into me. Anyone ever see the movie “Bully” where all the Good Kids wail on a four-eyed boy on the bus? That was me in my sprog days – a lot like that. I encountered, adapted, and overcame it (i.e. I grew up and so did they). But the one thing that stayed was: fuck the notion of doing what “society” or “culture” wants me… Read more »
YaReally, that pic is worth 1,000 words, no explanation needed.
I’m sure she’s a good girl, too. Might even be active in her church.
Plus for the churchgoing men who read and lurk here, this site has complimentarity with Dalrock’s site. Never mind the driveby churchian Ayahtollah wannabes. Take what works that is congruent with your beliefs and leave the rest.
@ Fred Flange and his Free Speech for the Dumb
Good stuff man. Really good. I cosign with a big grin.
Rollo, you have been a lifesaver. Not that I was suicidal due to my divorce after 27 years of marriage. I have been the beneficiary of so much insight from you and the commenters here. I do have a question though, chicks I talk to seem to volunteer that they have some sort of malady (Hashimoto’s, scoliosis, spongy kidneys). I’ve reviewed your posts but fail to find the reasons for this. Are they just trying to disqualify themselves as long term mates?
@Rollo This blog and your writings have reframed the narrative that has been lost over the last 20 years. Men have either voluntarily or through legislation given up and surrendered to women their balls.
The themes you introduce in your writings are helping us gain insights into being better men.
It’s always interesting how the topic also sees new insights and shared experiences–our recent discussion about orbiters and how older dudes need to understand the prevalence of InstaGoogleTweetFace in a girl’s world was a great off-shoot from the main topic.
@Rollo – I’m not good at stack-ranking posts and picking favorites etc. I simply skip the posts I don’t find interesting, but i find them all interesting so there is that…
It is time to say thanks to you, again, and to this community without which I would most likely be dead. Not particularly chipper so I’ll keep it short. But don’t let my brevity make you think I’m not grateful, or moved. I’m both, and deeply so…
I’m also a fan of Fred Flange’s latest comment. Very good stuff. I have to agree with Fred that I never thought about eusociality. (But also admit that E.0 Wilson’s stuff is perhaps the only book I didn’t read this year.) I never felt led by by Society. And for a damn good reason since 1977. I never bought into conformity or going along with the crowd. And at one point this became a weakness. (Also agree with Fred that young guys shouldn’t “DON’T DO IT THE WAY WE DID IT!” on some things, but should do it the way… Read more »
@ YaReally; Exactly, bro. Once a man sees it, he cannot unsee it ever again. It’s everywhere and it ain’t going away anytime soon.
@SJF “”Older dudes may have empathy for younger dudes. But why do they need to understand social media? All technology and social media is a detriment to actual people interacting with social skills with each other one on one and in groups. If older men understood it well, does that mean they might come up with old school answers?”” If you don’t keep up with what’s going on in the world or understand how the world works or how technology is now driving social behaviours, you’re lost. This is where the “generation gap” arises. To be Red Pill/Game Aware…regardless of… Read more »
You may not be interested in eusociality, but that makes eusociality particularly interested in you.
It is the enemy of praxeology.
“If you don’t keep up with what’s going on in the world or understand how the world works or how technology is now driving social behaviours, you’re lost.” Come on now. I don’t recall ever being lost. I recall my blood sugar being so low that my brain was lost for a moment. But that is what glucose tablets are for. My wife and children are consuming that shit by the boatload. They are still good and valuable family members. It is not a deal breaker in my purpose and my mission. It is not even a minor stumbling block… Read more »
Cory Worthington? This Cory Worthington???
http://d3lp4xedbqa8a5.cloudfront.net/s3/digital-cougar-assets/WomansDay/2015/11/27/14210/Corey-Worthington-main.jpg
http://www.womansday.com.au/real-life/true-life-stories/corey-worthingtons-balinese-wedding-14210
“Gone are the infamous yellow sunnies from 2008 and instead the 24-year-old looks dapper in a smart white shirt, bow-tie and chinos for his wedding day in Bali as he ties the knot to Mel Borg, 28.”
Borg… LOL
Anyone want to argue Alpha is not a state of mind?
Sentient
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XST6RWpnyn4
It is but maybe he’s found something for himself.
@Sentient, I’ve seen it. Alpha is a state of mind Corey appears to have lost.
It is good for guys to understand the prevalence of orbiters and social media, but the flip side of that understanding is always ‘ What Are You Gonna Do about It???’. Remember, a lot of the chicks with a billion likes on instabitch or whatever, They are still just girls. Sure, it effects her psyche, but so do a bunch of other things. Chicks with social media have options, lol, but do not be fooled into believing that you are counted out because she has these ” options “. She can’t actually utilize the bulk of these options. There is… Read more »
Blax
“I wanna see if I hear a pattern of some sort, and whether I hear the same old stories over and over.”
Of course you will… because they are mouthing the same old feminist platitudes… until they really meet you that is. try that and report back.
Remember feminism is really just a meta shit test… and goils will always be goils… because biology.
You are not one to confuse principles/dynamics with mere tactics are you?
Blax
“Amazingly, she says that she longs for touches from a man engaging her in interesting conversation outside of the bedroom. She wants a level of love and excitement. I could only nod my head because… I know this.”
Annnnnnnnddd…. we are back to men leading and women following. The crux is yet not every man can lead, and so her search continues…
But you know</i< this… you feel it. She feels it… LOL
Carl
Have you ever taken a girls phone and put it in your pocket? Do you know you can do this?
@ Sentient
” Of course you will… because they are mouthing the same old feminist platitudes… until they really meet you that is. try that and report back.”
Lol. But brah, I have been hearing a lot of ” I can get my own/don’t need no man controlling me ” rhetoric before. I got a deeper convo and she was aware that I wasn’t trying to peel her out of those ridiculously tight, ripped jeans she was wearing.
Lawdy, lawdy. Lol.
Blax
based on your convo, it sounds like she would have been willing to rip you out of your Dockers old man…
Great story Blaximus. The bottom line is social media is there as a cock-block. A shit test. Deal with it. But the bigger story is you Blax. Look how you performed in social interaction with the young chick. You were direct In Real Life and look how that turned out. You intrigued her and got an emotional vibe from her. You used no buffers. None at all. You engaged with no fear. (Of course not, I’ve never seen you exhibit that emotion.) This is the same as YaReally’s infield experiences that he describes. Interacting as a Man In Full (reference… Read more »
@Blax “”I’m still cornering women and interrogating them about their social media habits and the likelihood that they can be convinced to put down their devices.”” Dude….asking them about social media implies a lack of knowledge…You’re already showing your age. My point is you have to KNOW this stuff…just “get it”… You have to demonstrate a mastery of the technology. That’s why text game is critical. It’s now evolving. You have to be concise and capture in one or two words a way of spiking her curiousity and attraction. Don’t ask girls ANYTHING that sounds like you don’t know about… Read more »
@ walawala
Lol. I’m not asking chicks what social media is. I’m not a moron. I know what the various media they use are, I just don’t personally care that much.
I’m just querying them about it, and maybe getting rid of it, to see what they say.
It helps to get both views. I’m not feeling the massive orbiter fear thing.
@ Sentient
Ha ha. I legit wasn’t hitting on her at all. Just talking. I didn’t really detect much sexual interest on her part,, but she was intrigued and seemed to genuinely dig the conversation.
I’m sure if I’d invited her for coffee she would’ve went. But her flirting on a 1 to 10 scale was a 4. Lol.
@walawala “YaReally—-chime in here….I think the point is still not setting in.” lol you’re on your own with him. I’ve already wasted enough time going down the SJF rabbit hole for one lifetime. But in general you don’t have to use stuff like Facebook, Twitter, Tinder, Instagram etc, but it helps to know what they are and the basics of what they’re for and they’re great for networking and arranging events and shit if you’re running social circle game (which I believe walawala does). Like it’s a lot easier to pick up a hot bartender when you understand when her… Read more »
Today I learned for the first time what a ‘hashtag’ is, if that’s any indication of where I am technology-wise. Put that to use and it was a big “Aha” moment. All of a sudden my page blows up and I’m getting all kinds of likes and comments. Pretty fucking cool. @ YaReally I recently watched the LOL episode of Californication. Where Hank doesn’t know shit about lingo like “LOL” and he busts this girl’s ass for saying it. Just completely rips her a new one. Of course they end up banging later after he recalibrates from being an over-the-top… Read more »
@Blax/YaReally “I’m sure if I’d invited her for coffee she would’ve went. But her flirting on a 1 to 10 scale was a 4. Lol.” Here’s the thing. One of the three girls I’m banging now recently told me, that on the night she met me and I gamed her, then bounced her for drinks…she was thinking she really wanted to meet a guy and go for drinks. But no one had ever asked her. I recently met a hot girl at a party who I gamed and was giving major IOI’s. I “could have” asked her for drinks. But… Read more »
@ walawala “I don’t proceed now if I’m not 100% ready to bang them that night. Any hesitation and they feel it right away.” This is what I’m trying to get through my head. For me, sexual hesitation comes from not being comfortable with the idea of going with the flow and feeling autonomous and in control. Like, maybe I’ll want to get up and leave immediately. Maybe I’ll want to sleep there. Maybe I’ll just want to hang out and not fuck her. etc. ANY of that is okay. I’ve had the thought, “Fuck, I’m gonna have to sleep… Read more »
Rollo, I would include one of your most mythological posts: THE WALL!!!
Evolving Hyperagamy was my favourite.
Where has TRM helped the most? Getting me to realise that you have to kill the beta and that women aren’t sugar and spice and all things nice. Mental point of origin is another one.
H/T to YaReally, Scribblerg, Softek and Nova for their insight and balls to the wall honesty.
@yareally “TOO BAD SHE’S PROBABLY BORING AS FUCK TO TALK TO lol That’s always the funny part to me. Girls want deep conversation but then they know like surface level shit at best and get lost when you go over their heads. Like okay you’re having fun but I’m just talking to a child here lol” Yeah this – even the 40+ crowd are semi-retards. I keep getting compliments from them on my conversational skills and interesting subjects I chat them up with (Most Interesting Man In The World vibe) and they lap it up. They can’t really reply in… Read more »
@Anonymous Reader “Plus for the churchgoing men who read and lurk here, this site has complimentarity with Dalrock’s site. Never mind the driveby churchian Ayahtollah wannabes. Take what works that is congruent with your beliefs and leave the rest.” I Agree. What you get from Rollo’s essays, and many of his commenters is knowledge. By itself it is benign. Merriam-Webster: Simple Definition of knowledge : information, understanding, or skill that you get from experience or education : awareness of something : the state of being aware of something You can use it for good, or bad, or do nothing at… Read more »
Blax / YaReally This is an interesting one that I’m noticing keeps coming up. The last few girls I’ve been with have been shocked at how I’m all about the PDAs. The guys they dated before me would rarely touch them in public or lead them or anything and they wanted it bad but the guys were uncomfortable. ’cause we have a society of guys uncomfortable with their sexual urges and nature, scared to be “too controlling” and leading and guiding her by the small of the back and scared to be “too possessive” throwing their arm around her and… Read more »
Great job
@all Thanks for all the shoutouts btw Just happy to have helped other guys the way PUAs selflessly helped me (directly or indirectly) back in the day. Just payin that shit forward. @Softek “All of a sudden my page blows up and I’m getting all kinds of likes and comments. Pretty fucking cool.” Now imagine literally ANYTHING you post, no matter how stupid or meaningless, gets a barrage of positive validation like that, from hot girls too. You take a pic of your toothpaste tube saying “time to go shopping!” and get 50 Likes and a dozen girls (with profile… Read more »
Society made a decision 50 years ago to gear all incentives for both sexes in intersexual relationships toward short term reward only. It succeeded and the modern millennial chicks are the result. If your sexual strategy does not act with an eye toward that fact, you’re courting disaster. Marriage runs directly counter to this strategy for men, which is why I’m puzzled by the belief that young guys should or even can have a marriage these days. Is it just ego investment on the part of already married guys? I mean, if we’re about helping guys set an internal MPO… Read more »
“Is it just ego investment on the part of already married guys?”
Yes. It’s interesting that Rollo is not ego invested but he has had 5+ years (congrads!)
“if we’re about helping guys set an internal MPO but then we advise them in to a strategically stupid decision given current circumstances, are we really helping?”
No
Yareally it’s probably good for them to have a more realistic understanding of “you know what, there will probably be rough patches in my life where I’m NOT alpha 24/7, I might get sick, I might lose my job, my parents might die in a plane crash, I might just get tired and need a break to relax or might not achieve my dream job, hell SHE might change and get fat or bitchy and become someone I don’t like being around and that might affect how alpha I am, our kids might be born with disabilities and shit that… Read more »
“Faking it is the biggest cause of game failure… the girl will see the real you one day…”
Practice ’til you learn it.
@ Sun ” Marriage runs directly counter to this strategy for men, which is why I’m puzzled by the belief that young guys should or even can have a marriage these days. Is it just ego investment on the part of already married guys? I mean, if we’re about helping guys set an internal MPO but then we advise them in to a strategically stupid decision given current circumstances, are we really helping?” I can’t speak for every married guy, but for myself I am not ego invested in marriage or much of anything else. I’m not an advocate for… Read more »
“What would you tell a guy who’s MPO is to get married?” @Sentient Nobody wants to believe that monogamy is dead. That’s just sad to think about. It’s also sad to think the next generation of guys heading off to slaughter in an environment where monogamy is dead. It’s sad to think about how their kids are going to be affected by that environment. We’re realistically looking at probably two more generations of further deterioration until we hit bottom. That just sucks. Yeah, it’s annoying that we’re the ones that have to figure out to get through this shit without… Read more »
It depends on what your concept of ego investment is. (And keep in mind judging what is in someone else’s head is…well, a judgement call.) Yes ego investment is bad when an AFC uses it in concert with Denial to not self improve or get his sexual strategy right, or to advocate for others to take a certain defined path. Being a product of your environment or of your life experiences and actually having mastery or Real Power(TM) is somewhat different than using an ego buffering mechanism of Denial. When explained here by Rollo, yes denial for an AFC not… Read more »
@ Andy Hey bro. ” Yeah, it’s annoying that we’re the ones that have to figure out to get through this shit without much experience out there to draw upon. It’s just easier to come to the logically shallow conclusion that “It worked for me, so it can work for you. Women haven’t changed.” That’s the mindset you need to make it work, DPA is the mindset you need to make it work, but mindsets aren’t logical. Blax’s “Calm the fuck down and stop worrying” is the mindset you need to make it work. But you aren’t actually helping anyone… Read more »
“All that being said my personal opinion is that PUA’s here wouldn’t have a problem keeping a 2016 girl around long enough to raise a kid.” You didn’t ask for my opinion on it, but I’ll give it anyway: As we sit here exactly today in 2016 for what PUA’s have said outright, my opinion for them is clear: https://therationalmale.com/2016/08/21/the-key-masters/comment-page-2/#comment-166874 I would basically “advise men not to have kids anymore because they WILL NOT find the type of girl you’re describing” (ed. quote from Ya) if they don’t have a clue who they themselves are, want to not settle with… Read more »
KFG
“Practice ’til you learn it.”
True. Catechism works… until it meets lack of belief.
@Blaximus “I get that marriage has changed, but that says nothing at all about my marriage or my ideas of what can make marriage work. This is something that I do have experience in and not outside theory.” This goes to the point I tried to make earlier and was misunderstood/mischaracterized. My point was that we all have our “infield experiences” in game and red pill. And they are not narrowly defined by other men’s definition of them. They might not apply to someone elses game but they are not for nothing. I’ve been going out in my infield with… Read more »
@Sun Wukong “Marriage runs directly counter to this strategy for men, which is why I’m puzzled by the belief that young guys should or even can have a marriage these days. Is it just ego investment on the part of already married guys? I mean, if we’re about helping guys set an internal MPO but then we advise them in to a strategically stupid decision given current circumstances, are we really helping?” https://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/51lgs6/70_year_old_man_robs_bank_sits_down_in_lobby_and/ Read the comment section (this isn’t a red pill subreddit this is just a general sample of people in /r/news/) for some reality checks too: “I had… Read more »
@ SJF ” My point was that we all have our “infield experiences” in game and red pill. And they are not narrowly defined by other men’s definition of them. They might not apply to someone elses game but they are not for nothing. ” Exactly. There seems to be some kind of ” OH MAN, THE OLD DUDES ARE TALKING AGAIN..” thing that crops up from time to time. But what I’m trying to get across is that it is not a bad thing to LISTEN sometimes and THINK things through from another perspective that one may have zero… Read more »
Lol. I wanted to talk about something else from earlier, but….
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPw-3e_pzqU&w=640&h=360%5D
YaReally TOO BAD SHE’S PROBABLY BORING AS FUCK TO TALK TO lol That’s always the funny part to me. Girls want deep conversation but then they know like surface level shit at best and get lost when you go over their heads. Like okay you’re having fun but I’m just talking to a child here lol Too true. Women’s brains tend to revolve around resources, children, and social standing – “did you hear what Dawn said Brittaney told her about Sarah?”. Money, sperm, other girls, “experiences”, money. New shoes. That new Thai restaurant. This is why talking to girls about… Read more »
@ Sentient ” Faking it is the biggest cause of game failure… the girl will see the real you one day… and what you feel they feel… Tell the paper alpha guys how far faking it will get them… Now Game as mimicry of alpha behavior does work, it just won’t work over an extended period. I think this is why you are so concerned with catching a cold or dealing with some adversity in life perhaps? when you become DPA these episodes are part of the roller coaster of life, that emotional balance that women crave and they love… Read more »
Blaximus “Buuuutttt…. there’s more to this than just orbiters and dudes on a screen.” YaReally Oh god, ya, there’s like a million little factors involved in what’s going on. I’m just bringing up the most obvious blatant part of the shift…I mean look at the uphill battle I’ve had in just getting THIS reality to be accepted around here lol no reason to go into deeper more subtle issues going on. Let’s say that SJF’s younger son puts a ring on a girl when he’s 28 and she’s 24. A baby or two later, she’s 30 and the hawt d00d… Read more »
Julien Blanc & Ryan Holiday Discuss “Ego Is The Enemy” https://youtu.be/wWBTCNyp5GQ?t=478 Julien: “It comes down to being honest with yourself (whatever you can do to realize what being honest with yourself is) and not being afraid of that authenticity (privately or publicly).” Ryan: “Rigorous self honesty and embracing what you find there.” http://www.bigbencomedy.com/blog/archives/ego-enemy-quotes/ “Marina Abramovic says: If you start believing in your greatness, it is the death of your creativity.” (4) “Talk depletes us. Talking and doing fight for the same resources. Research shows that while goal visualization is important, after a certain point our mind begins to confuse it… Read more »
” . . . it is not a bad thing to LISTEN sometimes and THINK things through from another perspective that one may have zero experience with.” Absofuckinglutely. But the point I have been trying to make, as an old man myself, is that a young man today will never be able to have the same experience. If I took my own experience and advised a young man today that the best financial move he could make for his future was to start filling up his closet with rolls of quarters, he would quite justifiably assume I was in some… Read more »
“Impressing people is utterly different from being truly impressive.”
Or, as I have had to phrase it in conversation:
I am not an elitist, I am elite.
Blaximus: “Maybe sometimes people will not accept simpler answers to more complex problems?” In my opinion, some commenters are like observing that two trees were blown down on a windy night in the woods and instead of thinking the wind blew them down, they explain that two meteorites have each taken one tree down, and after that hit each other and removed any trace of themselves. Notwithstanding the fact that social media, feminism, the state of marriage and the ability to raise children is more of a problem. Ryan Holiday: “It is a timeless fact of life that the up-and-coming… Read more »
@SJF
Hey would you please tell me what an OMG is? Thank you.
Old Married Guys And because I’m dead certain some readers didn’t read this the first time: https://therationalmale.com/2016/08/07/trust-issues/comment-page-2/#comment-165903 Ian Ironwood (end of long article in that link to comment): ………….”And the most important thing the Betas need to discover? They don’t need any damn woman’s permission to take the plunge, swallow the Red Pill, and rediscover their own masculinity. And heck . . . we’re willing to help. So if there is one thing I’d like to see the Manosphere accomplish, it’s to inspire a Revolt of the Betas. Because if a significant portion of the men in the West were… Read more »
Actually go read the entire last link if you haven’t before. The shortened version doesn’t do the essay justice.
@YaReally Californication is great. The other great older dude/younger girl show is Mad Men—when Don is banging that teacher. The connection transcends their age gap because he’s so alpha and games her with just enough vulnerability. @Sentient regarding you can’t be alpha 24/7…In my own experience it’s the mindset that’s critical. One of my plates baked me a cake.. The next day I thanked her and teased her about it saying: “I’m ploughing through that cake…” That made her feel great knowing I enjoyed myself. But is gushing about a surprise gift alpha? Not really but in that context it… Read more »
Mr. Tomassi, If you are making changes to your webpage, I would suggest the following: 1. Make it so that we can respond directly to a specific comment “under” that comment, rather than one long thread. For example: Mr. A says “XXXXXX” Mr. B responds “YYYYYY” Mr. A: XXXXXX Mr. C. ZZZZZZZZ etc. This would make it clearer who is talking to whom. 2. I think a “general comment” or small “forum” section might be useful. I’ve been coming across the odd link that yourself or the other people might find useful, but don’t really fit with your current post.… Read more »
@KFG – “You may not be interested in eusociality, but that makes eusociality particularly interested in you. It is the enemy of praxeology.” I’m down with the first sentence but I cannot see how eusociality is the enemy of praxeology. Eusociality is a social trait of some members of a species who’s lives aren’t about reproduction and survival, but rather they behave in ways that benefit the entire species and allow others to reproduce, roughly. Praxeology is the study of human action – am I missing something? @SJF and Fred – Neither of you understand eusociality. Study it in ants… Read more »
@kfg
“Faking it is the biggest cause of game failure… the girl will see the real you one day…”
Practice ’til you learn it.
The way I see it, getting caught using game is like getting caught imitating a celebrity, (cuz it’s the same thing). Who could fucking blame me?
It’s not like she has to practice having such huge tits so far up her chest. lol.
@SJF
Thank you again.
Sorry, that didn’t show the indentations under #1 (and so probably didn’t make sense). The idea was that “Mr. B” etc were indented a bit to the right, so it was clear they were responding to Mr. A’s initial post.
@ YaReally Okay. I’m still re-reading and thinking, but I’ma throw something out to try and illustrate the point in some small way using my brother Andy as an example of what I am talking about. Andy, I’m not trying to talk shit about you. You’re my man. Buuutttt….. Andy is married with kids and all of the stuff that goes along with it. His wife isn’t a 2016 young 20 year old 10, but she sounds pretty damn good to me. But my brother is sounding the alarm. Mind you, he’s not having any immediate issues at all. Just… Read more »
@ScribblerG If you are getting more and more out of E. O. Wilson’s book, you would enjoy a perhaps similar grand perspective from Yuval Harari’s book Sapiens. I found it absolutely fascinating and while it doesn’t give actionable advice, it does enable one to shape and justify his world view and choose his allegiances wisely. See if this review intrigues you: http://www.words-and-dirt.com/words/review-yuval-noah-hararis-sapiens/ Lately I’ve been wondering who’s going to take up Edward O. Wilson’s mantle after he dies. For decades, Wilson has penned accessible, intelligent books that help nonspecialists understand what he calls the “Evolutionary Epic”––the grand narrative of terrestrial… Read more »
The latest on Eat, Prey, Luv Gilbert also addresses how her love for Elias affected her marriage to her second husband José Nunes, from whom she separated in July: “For those of you who are doing the math here, and who are wondering if this situation is why my marriage came to an end this spring, the simple answer is yes.” … Eat, Pray, Love author Elizabeth Gilbert has shared that she is in love with her best friend Rayya Elias in a touching Facebook post on Wednesday. She also divulges that Elias has been diagnosed with uncureable pancreatic and… Read more »
Oh yeah, scrib- Not all Old Guys ™ don’t get digital age distraction. I happen to spend more time with teens and twentysomethings than I do with folks my own age…. I don’t know if that’s a bad or good thing. As I was pointing out earlier, I see what’s going on, I understand what’s going on, but I don’t really care deeply because it is proving destructive. Like crack. lol. I keep getting the ” you’re old and out of touch ” vibe, and that’s not my case. YaReally sparked my interest with the idea of getting chicks to… Read more »
@Blaximus
So. The name of the game is Frame. Women test you. Guys have been letting women test them, and then men just learn to pass tests endlessly when what the bitch wants is to hear you tell her “look bitch, this is how I want this to go, and if you don’t have that, you can fuck right off”.
Not everyone has the balls to do that though. I guess guys who do that will only ever be clowns ultimately. So be it.
Hey thanks for being the way you are.
@Blaximus “Under certain conditions, the odds are pretty high that I can catch a bullet from a cop in a routine interaction. Lot’s and lot’s of examples for years and years. But I won’t overreact and barricade myself in my home, refusing to come outside because…you know….cops.” The benefits you get from going outside VS barricading yourself in your home are so numerous it would be hard to even decide where to begin listing them. What benefits does a man get from monogamy/marriage that he can’t get in a pLTR or without a legal contract? No one answers this when… Read more »
@ Yollo
Lol. If I had a magic wand, I’d wave it over all men and give them a strong INTERNALIZED frame. Like, right now.
I believe that strong frames and masculinity in men would actually begin to course correct this Journey of The Damned that we all seem to be riding on.