I was driving with a friend of mine and his wife to a promo last month. The parking at this particular gig was packed so it made sense to take one car and as I sat in the back seat I observed the behaviors and connected them to the conversation his wife and he were having while we drove. He was driving as well as any other guy I know; observant, careful, efficient, casual, basically a good driver, I didn’t even give his driving much mind. However, judging from the nervousness and fidgety behavioral tics of his wife you’d think he was drunk and reckless.
She clung tightly to the “oh shit” handle you see above the passenger-side window in most SUVs today. Her body language was one of fear trying to maintain polite composure, but every time we’d slow for traffic or a stop she would gesture with her hands as if she were bracing herself for impact. She simply did not trust her husband in the driver’s seat. She’d insist he switch lanes miles ahead of a turn so as to be ready to make the turn, or she’d coyly ask him to slow down when we were on the highway.
I see this a lot in couples where the power dynamic is one where the woman is the tacit authority of the relationship. These two were a textbook example. The buzz word term for it is ‘passive aggressive’ behavior, but that behavior is prompted by a root-level influence of women’s security need. My friend, being the Beta he is, made every attempt to calm his wife’s fears by accommodating her passive (and some not so passive) posturing and requests. It still wasn’t enough. She simply doesn’t trust the man she’s been married to for 10 years with her safety – regardless of his actions.
Now, from a Red Pill perspective, it’s important to bear in mind that women are always looking for an emotional rush whether positive or negative. I detail this in Indignation but in the absence of indignation, women will actively create it for themselves. Any PUA worth his salt knows that leaving an emotional impression on a woman is a key to seduction. Some men can do this effortlessly and often unaware depending on the social context and circumstances he surrounds himself with. These are guys we think are ‘naturals’ even though the learning process and the trial, error, reward mechanisms of it for him are just an internalized part of his personality. However, making this emotional impression can be learned, expressed ‘naturally’ and it can be internalized.
When we look at the dual nature of Hypergamy we tend to focus primarily on the Alpha Fucks side of women’s sexual strategy. For obvious reasons, it’s the part guys tend to have the most interest in, and since seduction is the key to STRs and LTRs, it’s also the part guys need to develop most. It’s tough for most Blue Pill men to behave counter to what their conditioning has taught them. Just like my friend’s driving here, most guys believe that comfort, trust, rapport, friendship, appeasement, and generally self-sacrificing are what’s at the heart of a good relationship. All of course based on the mystical “open communication” trope.
Selfish vs Self-Interest
Vox Day had an interesting back and forth with Kitten Holiday about this dynamic this weekend:
https://twitter.com/voxday/status/762307577560563712
For men who’ve been conditioned to believe that the key to success with women is to play nice and solve women’s problems for them with patient understanding, suggesting selfishness is attractive to women is counterintuitive. However, agreeableness and humility in men have been associated with a negative predictor of sex partners. So is it selfishness that makes a guy attractive or arousing?
I’ve suggested in the past that it is actually men who dare to place themselves at the center of their lives who make the most significant emotional impact upon women. This emotional impression is a byproduct of men who make themselves their first priority and when this prioritization becomes an internalized second nature to a man we say that he’s made himself his Mental Point of Origin.
I’m clarifying this here because it’s easy to conflate ‘enlightened self-interest’ with “selfishness”. A common criticism among the MGTOW set is that a man investing himself into anything with the express purpose of attracting women is vanity or wasted effort. However, it’s defining the point where this personal investment in oneself crosses over into having the effect of being an attractive trait to women that needs some more clarification. I covered this in Crisis of Motive, and unfortunately, it’s a line that’s subjective to the man who’s invested himself in virtually anything that uniquely benefits him and is attractive/arousing for women.
So we have two countermanding imperatives here. Men are conditioned, personally and publicly, to believe that niceness, comfort, and trust are the keys to success with women (whom we are told will have an affinity and appreciation for it). All of these Blue Pill qualities are pro-social attributes, yet in practice, in the real world, we observe men with anti-social, ‘selfish’ interest are rewarded with women’s attention. Self-interested men make a more significant emotional impression.
When we contrast this with the two aspects of women’s sexual strategy we see that the Blue Pill (pro-social) traits align with the Beta Bucks side of Hypergamy, while the ‘selfish’ (anti-social) aspects align with the arousing Alpha Fucks desires of women. For the Blue Pill invested man, it’s baffling to see how ‘selfish’ men are rewarded with intimacy, genuine desire, and sex. What they lack is a complete understanding of women’s dual sexual natures.
“So I gotta be an asshole to get women to notice me? Chicks really dig jerks?”
I’ve been reading this response from newly unplugged nice guys for as long as I’ve been writing. It’s the binary response I’ve come to expect from guys still on the fence with regard to Red Pill awareness, but it goes back to the negative associations they have with making themselves their own mental point of origin. It’s ‘selfishness’ not self-interest and this is exactly the opposite of what they’ve been taught will resolve problems for them.
This then comes back to my first point about women’s need for security. I’ve been married for over 20 years now, and for as good a marriage as I have, I still have my doubts that Mrs. T trusts me implicitly with her life.
It’s ironic because I actually saved her life when we were first married. There was a very swift moving river we used to walk our dogs along when we lived in Tahoe. It was spring and the river was high from snowmelt runoff, and it was cold – as in take your breath away before you’re paralyzed cold. One of our dogs had spied a few ducks on the opposite side of the river and bolted into it to go after them. About half way across he realizes it was a stupid idea and turns back. He couldn’t make it and the river swept him downstream. We both ran down the river after him to a point where he’d pass and Mrs. T jumped in to catch him. She goes numb in seconds, but she caught the dog by the collar. I know I’m going to have to go in to get them now so I prep in my head what to do. I get in now and grab the dog and bodily throw him up on the steep bank. Then I do the same with Mrs. T right before the water is so cold I can barely move. I managed to grab a large tree root in the bank I’d seen earlier to haul myself out.
In spite of that very memorable event, I’m not sure I have my wife’s implicit trust in this respect. I know that sounds bad, but even after all of that, there was no acknowledged appreciation for it. I was just doing what a man is expected to do. In many other aspects, I have my wife’s trust, but I wonder if the want for an emotional impression isn’t buffered by a need for security.
In my friend’s case, this lack of trust is manifested in his wife’s demeanor and interactions with him. The more Beta the man a woman’s paired herself with the more evident her need for security becomes a part of their relationship. Remember that security comes in many different forms. It’s entirely possible for a dutiful Beta to be a great provider, but still not be trusted with his decision making or his capacity to protect his woman from harm.
Women today are already raised to never put their trust in men as it is. Men are at best lovable buffoons, at worst untrustworthy incorrigible players. Popular culture directs women to only rely on themselves, to only trust in their own, implicitly correct decisions and directions – and then absolve them of any negative consequence of those decisions. Thus, we have several generations of women who claim the authority role in their LTRs and relegate their men to only marginally trusted companions.
All of that said, I would suggest that men opt to not concern themselves with so-called “trust issues” with women. Women’s feral nature is founded in Hypergamy and part of that nature will always be to doubt the quality of the man she’s paired herself with. It may seem ‘selfish’, but placing yourself as your first priority will be far more appreciated and accepted than a man attempting to endlessly earn the trust from a woman that can only be temporal at best. Your lack of concern over her status of trusting you will have much more impact than trying to appease her for it.
Beta men are endlessly told that a woman’s trust and rapport, her comfort level with a guy, is essential to her being intimate or sexual, or having a good relationship. Those are the guys who feel the sting the most when they see a woman at her feral best fuck the hot guy she met the same night who made a significant emotional impression on her. The guy who invested his interests in himself and she happened to be along for his ride.
Trust is just a convenient term used by women to vet for Beta men. ‘Trust’ only amounts to a list of prerequisites and rules for a Beta who believes it’s his duty to fulfill them, which are never an afterthought for women with more Alpha men.
[…] Trust Issues […]
[…] Trust Issues […]
sounds like u are tired of being married. Too alpha to be pinned down.
@rotepill,
Not tired, but it’s impossible to objectively assess women, relationships, etc. without coming off like it.
The core difference between an Alpha and a Beta is that the Alpha invests the results of his performance burden in himself, a Beta in a succession of women who fleece him for all he has.
When they say opposites attract, they are correct in that men who are non-dominant and avoid conflict, attract women who are domineering and conflict seeking.
I have no doubt that in your friend’s head he was working very hard to not tell her “shut the hell up” or some variant thereupon, yet he didn’t want the fight.
In MRP it is often written “Trust, but verify” with respect to women.
We should not mind if women take the same type of approach, which is basically what they are (consciously or not) doing when shit testing someone they are in a LTR with.
Recommended reading: The Virtue of Selfishness
https://www.amazon.com/Virtue-Selfishness-Centennial-Ayn-Rand/dp/0451163931
It doesn’t matter weather you drive a Yugo or a Kenworth,If you don’t show enough Alpha and beta supplicate a woman she will not trust your judgment.Thank God & Rollo I don’t have to go through that front seat back seat driver crap anymore. I have a friend,he is 6’10, mechanic,laid back.His wife was at the end of her pregnancy,so he was supplicating.On the way to the hospital 30mi away she freaks on the coffee pot,they go back to check,as a result he ends up delivering the baby on the side of the road.When they got to the hospital,wrong door… Read more »
Passive-Aggressiveness is something I encounter all the time. It’s exhausting to deal with because you have to be saying “no” and basically being an asshole all the time. The “Trust issues” seem strongest in girls who display Cluster B traits and who project their mommy issues onto me. I see this in situations where I’m taking a Latin dance class and the girl doesn’t “Trust” me to know the sequence being taught. I see these “trust issues” when ordering a pizza. They become endless shit-tests requiring Agree and Amplify, Amused Mastery and constant “soft-nexts”. How to conquer? Choose better girls.… Read more »
Good to see this topic up cos it’s well timed for me; I’m having trouble with this stage of my development.
It could just be the ‘don’t be selfish’ which I would be given if I simply wasn’t being deferential enough as a youngster, but it’s also the feeling of this change would be abandoning the male drive to be part of something that is larger than yourself.
Women naturally put themselves first every time, and it seems like centering on yourself makes you more like them.
Wild Ride My oldest sister god bless her pea pickin heart,married this alpha guy with fire in his eyes,had a couple kids and started fucking the bad boys. Thanksgiving 1983 this guy shows up at our door,and starts chewing on Mrs.Box seems he thought she knew and didn’t tell him,true dat.I calmed him down made him stay for dinner and a drive in the mountains. Beautifull day frost on the pines,the whole world was shimmering.I loaded everyone into the old GMC,v6 automatic drum brakes,and drove up from 7k to 9k about 12 miles of dirt road shear cliffs on both… Read more »
@ Rollo Great post. I dug the River story and it has me in deep thought. But the car thing… that’s really in my wheelhouse. Later for that though. This nugget of truth jumped off the screen at me- ” Women today are already raised to never put their trust in men as it is. Men are at best lovable buffoons, at worst untrustworthy incorrigible players. Popular culture directs women to only rely on themselves, to only trust in their own, implicitly correct decisions and directions – and then absolve them of any negative consequence of those decisions. Thus, we… Read more »
Well done Rollo! I appreciate the precision of language and (obviously) my real world evidence supports the reasoned deduction you repeat here, i.e., that women are driven subconsciously and their minds rationalization machines that lag behind their emotions.
“I’ve been married for over 20 years now, and for as good a marriage as I have, I still have my doubts that Mrs. T trusts me implicitly with her life.” I’m sure Mrs. T trusts you with her life, but there’s a difference between her putting her life in your hands intentionally and you saving her from something (sorta) unexpected (if she thought she could handle saving the dog herself). If a guy’s mental point of origin is himself, is it surprising that a woman would subconsciously not trust him to save her over him? If she knows, deep… Read more »
I actually had a girlfriend once do me that way(Rollo’s car ride story in the beginning). We argued because her behavior was so random and she was pissing me off. We had gone on vacation in DC and Philly visiting historical sites. The vacation was perfect until then, and I was pissed at the out of nowhere drama behavior. Real talk. I literally pulled the car on the side of the road and told her to get the fuck out! She stopped nagging and we drove on. That night we got a hotel near Bristol, Tennessee. That night we humped… Read more »
@yareally @forge @culum @habd @PUA whooooo more progress lol Got another A1-A3, and got to number close (although THAT did not go well, but I know how to fix it for next time), and more important open was fairly lukewarm but popped her open with my DHV. Which is a GREAT reference experience so now I can stick through some iffy opens lol to get to the good stuff later on. Went out. . .but just a smidge too late. Very narrow window for having lots of girls out. However, I know now some of the times I need to… Read more »
ooh. another big thing was that around the time the 5 bust open, when she was talking about partying I think, I remember thinking
“Man, this looks JUST like a pua video.”
I about had deja vu lol. Was a good feeling.
How do you maintain anonymity online? I have a lot of red pill content which I write that I presently only dare to circulate amongst my friends. Is there some specific set of rules you follow to maintain anonymity? It’s a thing I’d rather not want to fuck up. Would greatly appreciate your advice on this or any resources you could tell me about which would help me. Thanks
>
Chicks dig speed, hot, nasty bad ass speed….. also imagine there is a some legit bad boy cred and display of mastery when you put the throttle down, dangerous and criminal….. and they get all giddy and drippy. Also they seem to dig the raw punch to the face sort of power and speed vs more refined rides. They also dig violence, this trust with their life thing is probably why they get wet for fighters and other men involved in violent sports. Overt displays of proficiency with violence speaks right to their lady parts and a certain kind of… Read more »
Michaels, you could start by picking a handle other than your actual name. Anonymous email accounts are simple. Google “doxing” for more. @Rollo: I recognize this CONSTANT drip-drip-drip undermining your confidence at every stage, attacking you most fiercely when you are at you weakest, and poke after poke after poke, unrelenting, always negative..negative..negative never positive feedback, never a helpful word. The word for it is..MARRIAGE. It really is exhausting and SO not worth it young guys. Year after year with a “saucy” woman bitching and challenging everything you do. A yougogirl deciding which direction, which path, which order of event.… Read more »
@BP Professor, 1 “oh shit!” erases 10 “Attaboys”, except there are no “Attaboys” in marriage.
There are only “Oh Shits”.
@Blue Pill Professor:
If a man speaks alone in the forest and there is no woman to hear it, is he still wrong?
@ kfg,
Yes. lol.
Funny to be reminded of the drip-drip acid of marriage. Since I’ve discovered we’re not a team, and she doesn’t have my back I’ve become dis-interested in her opinions. I’ll tell her where we’re going on holiday, how it’s happening, how we get there. Not looking for concensus any more. Funny thing is that before I was abandoned to my fate she had a concerned team mate in me who always wanted her input (guess this is what women think they want). Now that I’m more like a dictator she’s generally happier, but if she does start nagging I’ll tell… Read more »
This is a very interesting topic. My husband sometimes scares me in bumper-to-bumper traffic because he waits, in my opinion, too long to put on the breaks. But when I complain my husband just gives me a shit-eating grin and says “makes you feel alive, don’t it?”
I do trust my husband implicitly. Even if he stoppes late for me I trust him to drive when I’m sleeping. He also has a concealed carry license- and l totally trust him to take care of us with it if needed.
@bluepillprof
“After 2 years of Red Pill the best I can hope for is for my wife to grit her teeth and shut the hell up because you can be assured of one thing and one thing only: If she is talking, it is not to agree with you.”
There’s a time to cut the cord. Better earlier than later in life.
Or stop hoping and go ballistic and squash her and see how/if she changes her attitude. 2 years of RP should be enough to have gathered your inner strength. Just sayin’
How much of that steady drip comes with the traditional relationship territory?
Traditional relationships being foundationally blue pill and all ….not saying y’all are blue pill or beta or anything such thing, but the nature of the conventional relationship beast is rather blue pill, which doesn’t inspire women to be on their best behavior. In effect forcing y’all to keep your red pill mastery of life on display because of her expectations
With my SO the trust is so low that she wanted to appoint her beneficiaries of her life insurance to the kids instead of me. By law or legal requirements I had to sign papers from the insurance company for her to be able to do this. The reasoning was that men all to often get taken advantage of by a new wife (she assumed I would re-marry.) and allow her to neglect our kids. I of course refused… massive emotional out-break, which I refused to listen to (STFU, fog, leaving on my part). She begrudgingly SAID she trusted me,… Read more »
KFG 4:21PM
wet, wet, wet, O, wet, wet, wet, wet, O, wet, O
Not one request to watch where he was going, or slow down?
NADALT
Not All Drivers Are Like That
Blue Pill Prof – maybe driving school is on order?
Just Getting It
Well said, change your name to Got It!
Funny thing is that before I was abandoned to my fate she had a concerned team mate in me who always wanted her input (guess this is what women think they want).
They want to be led, they think they want to lead…
Now that I’m more like a dictator she’s generally happier, but if she does start nagging I’ll tell her to shut it, if it goes on she’ll get a spanked arse.
And there you have it. men lead, women follow.
@Rollo,
Shouldn’t this: “Men are at best lovable buffoons, at worst untrustworthy incorrigible players.”
be this: “Men are at best untrustworthy incorrigible players, at worst lovable buffoons.
I think the Alpha and Beta got flipped around there.
Regarding marriage, I think women do value commitment. The trick is it has to be voluntary. In today’s world if you get married your commitment is no longer voluntary. It now becomes mandatory and therefore meaningless. If you can’t walk the minute you need to, you are no longer a free man. Young men, simply so no to marriage.
Driving your wife around, huh? OK, this is not the perfect example of how it goes, but it’s funny.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpo8RDyOEWY
Back to the topic at hand, I think the beta makes the mistake of putting “family” before himself. It used to be the right way to build a good life, and probably still should be, but no more. Be more selfish in your relationships, put your foot down, both you and the creature will like it.
Me 61, she’s 32, HB7-8. Treat her well, but with indifference. She’s prime feral, hyper- hypergamic. Can sense in an instant, her straying trust. Maintain self-interest always. She responds with interest to my mental point of origin. Wish I’d known all this some decades back. Seduction took considerable patience and months. Never tell her I’m coming over. Show up when I damn well feel like it. She loves that I DGAF. Caught her with a dude at her pad one day. She just met him. He’s about 40. Just the type I figured she would drag in some day when… Read more »
“Self-interested men make a more significant emotional impression.”
Pursuing the Platinum Rule [do whatever you want to do whenever you want to do it] will ensure this.
Trust is just a convenient term used by women to vet for Beta men. ‘Trust’ only amounts to a list of prerequisites and rules for a Beta who believes it’s his duty to fulfill them, which are never an afterthought for women with more Alpha men.
The Alpha Clarion Call to hypergamy’s pinging, boiled down – “Come with me [if you want to live]”…
Glenngarry That was an awesome clip. Note how he just ignores her and keeps his foot in it… then laughs off the end with filming… LOL See how happy she was getting the thrill ride? Great. I think the beta makes the mistake of putting “family” before himself. 15 years ago, making abundant coin. was looking to get a new Porsche. went with the wife to the dealer. Look around, took some out for tests drives. she was all “yes, definitely get it if you want it”, not that I was asking her… but I was surprised with her level… Read more »
One more… First part of a multi part series “When Playboys Ruled the World”…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpMsgHpvWts
examine the mindsets of these two guys…
@Glengarry, thanks, this was actually the video I was hunting for yesterday.
I hadn’t seen that Patrese video before, it’s a hoot.
Notice how excited she gets when she finds out she was being recorded.
MGTOW – Never give a women or a white knight the legal, financial, social, physical, financial or psychological power to destroy your life.
ANTI-MGTOW: Say whatever is necessary to keep men from becoming MGTOWs, for our own sake. We need those little betas to keep getting destroyed. It’s good for the womenz and white knights – dontcha know.
Women that complain about my driving get treated to slides in a car and triple digit traffic weaving on the bike. Message: “I don’t care about your opinion. I trust myself and you don’t have a choice.” I had one chick that went for a ride in my GTI on our first date. She spent only a moment making any complaints about the speed, after the first couple intersections went by with tires squealing and she started laughing and squealing right along. Another exclaimed “Oh my god we’re gonna die” the first turn we leaned in to on the bike.… Read more »
The driver in the video was pretty stoic throughout the entire ride. In fact, at times he had a shit-eating grin on his face, and pretty much ignored the hysterical woman sitting next to him. He downshifted, revved the engine and sped up on corners, despite her frantic protests, and this made her even more angry. He was listening to her, but ignoring her requests. At the end she’s smiling uncontrollably and he starts cracking jokes and making fun of her as she gets out to the other man and as if she wasn’t even there. “Men are conditioned, personally… Read more »
@constrainedlocus
https://therationalmale.com/2011/11/14/appreciation/
Another teacher (!) bangs a 16yr old student:
http://fox43.com/2016/08/08/teacher-admits-to-sex-with-16-year-old-sent-selfies-during-honeymoon-complaint/
She texted the boy while on her honeymoon.
In nearly every case where a teacher copulates with a student, the element of feral desire is always there. She often times pays for the room and dinner accompanying the tryst. They essentially become the “beta males” in these instances.
Now, could a 16 year old boy have that much game? While they definitely carry a devil-may-care attitude, that isn’t the complete picture here.
These cases show us that a woman’s feral desire primarily lies in a male’s virility.
Since I’ve discovered we’re not a team, and she doesn’t have my back I’ve become dis-interested in her opinions.
This x1000. But not just her opinions. Just about anything that has to do with her. Does she have plans, wishes, desires? Fuck if I care. If I’m the only one rowing this boat, then I’m going to steer. When my youngest turns 18 I am out of here.
” . . . at times he had a shit-eating grin on his face, and pretty much ignored the hysterical woman sitting next to him.” He is playing with her. ” . . . despite her frantic protests, and this made her even more angry.” She wasn’t angry, she was indignant. “At the end she’s smiling uncontrollably and he starts cracking jokes . . .” And playing with her. The whole thing was a game being played by both parties. Her indignation was half real, half act. Ha, ha, only serious. And you can bet dollars to donuts that she… Read more »
From the linked article:
“This is what marriage is; not necessarily boring per se (although it certainly can be more often than not), but ordinary. It’s normal, common, or becomes so. Think about how many people who’ve lived, married and died on planet earth who did exactly the same things as you.”
What Patrese did was take his wife out of the ordinary and gave her something exiting that the women at the bridge circle didn’t get everyday.
Women and white knights hate beta males. Why? Because they’re ‘good guys’. Women and white knights look down their noses at men capable of responsibility, devotion, love, empathy and compassion. Why? Too boring. Not enough excitement. Easily manipulated. Boring, boring, boring. Plus – there’s a ton of money to be made and much forced wealth transfer to be had to the benefit of women and white knights – which is why ever more anti-male laws and policies need invoking. Beta males, while the engine of society, are the scorn of the earth. They need to be kept in their place… Read more »
To take it a step further, when she next goes to her bridge circle she will blabber on and on, indignantly, about it and how “awful” her husband was.
Why?
Because it’s a DHV. The husbands of the other women don’t treat them so “horribly” and she’s rubbing it in their faces.
And she appreciates having been given that.
“Self-interested men make a more significant emotional impression.”
@Hank Holiday Before I open a lot, I feel walled off from the world. It is like I am watching a movie. I feel detached, as if I am watching the world unfold rather than being IN the world. After I open a bunch, I feel like I am in the world. Its almost like the world was 2d, and it becomes 3d. Big difference. So much this. This is the kind of post that makes me feel like I’m not unique or special and need to just own my shit. I’m finally learning that I have to smash the… Read more »
Women feed off of excitement and drama, let them starve.
Don’t feed the bitch.
@Yareally, I went to a bar that I have been to before. I usually go on a weeknight for karaoke, but I went out on Saturday night. I go alone, but this time I was more chatty than I usually am. Nobody was playing pool so i asked this mixed group whether they wanted to play. Played with one very drunk dude against 2 women. I think it ended up being a demonstration of value since the guy was so drunk he made no shots (he was comically missing the cue ball with his stick) but I still beat the… Read more »
“Women feed off of excitement and drama . . .”
Whereas men would much rather be here:
Than here:
http://www.ireneskayakingblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/mike-robe-canyons.jpg
“Don’t feed the bitch.”
What feeds the bitch is boredom.
Once again,
Don’t feed the bitch.
@KFG Good insights. The woman has a little bit of attention whore in her. It’s subtle but revealed ( a Tell) by the delight over the camera recording. “He is playing with her. And playing with her. The whole thing was a game being played by both parties.” He has Amused Mastery in playing with her. And I sense she trusts him (or at least his Alpha). The video was an example of healthy masculine/feminine interaction and slight female need for attention (normal and healthy). It’s important to understand the flip side of that ( which is undoubtably more prevalent)–… Read more »
Men are conditioned, personally and publicly, to believe that niceness, comfort, and trust are the keys to success with women (whom we are told will have an affinity and appreciation for it). This is the standard line in all the “relationship” books, vids, articles, etc. When a man finds his woman is acting up, acting strange, deadbedrooming him, being passive aggressive, etc. and he goes looking for advice, this is what he will find 99% of the time. This is one way that men get betaized – they look at a relationship having problems, say to themselves “This needs fixin'”,… Read more »
Is it really “men placing themselves at the center” or just “men not placing women at the center”? The difference seems really important.
@Nitpicunt:
I’ll use Patrese to indirectly answer that question. The late Carroll Smith, an auto racing engineer and mentor to young drivers, said there was one thing that all successful, professional race drivers had in common.
They would sell their own mother for a ride.
@Rollo It’s been a while since you’ve appended my name. Hopefully because I didn’t express myself well. Not because I said something contradictory to your thoughts in the OP or was saying something “wrong” or offensive (correct me if I did, or tell me if I’m annoying). I did abruptly change lanes there with the mention of pathologic female attention whoring which is a somewhat different subject, but related and much more common. My intent was to high five KFG for pointing out that Riccardo Patrese and Francesca were interacting in a healthy masculine/feminine polarity kind of way. (Francesca was… Read more »
On second thought. Maybe I had that appended pristine asshole moniker on the computer I posted from. In that case. Never mind.
@SJF, not at all. I’ll admit to being a bit more hands off with the comments recently.
@ kfg,
“To take it a step further, when she next goes to her bridge circle she will blabber on and on, indignantly, about it and how “awful” her husband was.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s a DHV. The husbands of the other women don’t treat them so “horribly” and she’s rubbing it in their faces.”
“And she appreciates having been given that.”
That was spot on perfect, kfg. It sinks in a little deeper for me every day due to posts like that.
@ Tim,
I thought White Knights WERE beta males. Can you elaborate?
This is not a “trust” issue. It is a dominance issue. The bitch is using “safety” as a hostage in a power play. Solution? Pull over, yank, her out of the car by her hair and pimp,slap her into next week. Give her a reason to be concerned about her “safety”.
Good one Rollo. Thanks for another life lesson. Why is all this so easy to see in retrospect, but impossible to see while it was happening?
In other news, I expect to be a virtual James Bond as soon as I perfect my time machine.
@ Colbert White Knights advocate for pedestalizing females without regard to their content of their character and at the peril of advancing any one man’s sexual strategy. What Tim was getting at was a broader issue. And that is of why Betas become boring. Boring is a problem in 2016. Boring is the lack of desire of women to fuck Betas. There was the first set of books. Man does this (work, provide, come home to domestication) Woman does that (be feminine, clean the house, take care of the kids). That ship has sailed (kinda, some old guys like Sentient… Read more »
Toocutebyhalf said: “I’m sure Mrs. T trusts you with her life, but there’s a difference between her putting her life in your hands intentionally and you saving her from something (sorta) unexpected (if she thought she could handle saving the dog herself). If a guy’s mental point of origin is himself, is it surprising that a woman would subconsciously not trust him to save her over him? If she knows, deep down, that she’s replaceable to him…” I would say that a woman does not subconsciously trust a man to save her because a woman is not wired to save… Read more »
White knight = beta.
Unmistakable beta tell.
@Rollo I used a third computer that had the old silly appendage. You are still doing great work. Even if sounding tired of inter-sexual dynamics, your blog is electric and still extra-ordinarily energizing for readers. Thanks a million. Furthermore, that old pristine asshole appendage that was my old cookie on another computer was a masculine appendage of pushing back at guys like YaReally (who now that admits that I drove him crazy, I can back off of with my only disagreeing with his 2% of anything he has ever said). I love YaReally as an Icon. I don’t disagree with… Read more »
@Cheupez
Plenty of White Knight Alphas do intervene in inter-sexual matters.
FI Social Conditioning and all…..
Prime example: The POTUS for the last 7 1/2 years.
@ SJF, Thanks for the elaboration (I think of alpha and beta as being two separate pyramids with one pyramid representing a totally DIFFERENT mindset placed directly on top and above a separate beta pyramid with it’s own DIFFERENT mindset. I’m confused on how there could even be anything as an alpha WK, if alpha is a MINDSET. I think it depends on whether you are imagining one GIANT pyramid with alpha on top and beta as the next tier WITHIN THAT SAME GIANT PYRAMID (if in that case then your definition of alpha or beta would be based more… Read more »
@ SJF,
I think what you are referring to as WK alphas, I would categorize as apex beta males. It just depends from what perspective you choose to structure your analysis (one pyramid or multiple ones as a matter of preference, I guess). I get what you’re saying though.
@Colbert Imagine if you will a greater Beta, lesser Alpha. He has reserves. Reserves are an redpill mindset (he knows female nature, he has infinite ability to masculine self improve in a masculine mindset). The Beta can provide (with reserves), the Alpha can generate respect, admiration and desire. If you win the million dollar lottery, you can then proceed to compromise, be comfortable with not being in control of your woman, and relax. You won. She is willing to come along with your amused mastery. Think of that. The original post spoke of that come along for the ride. Or… Read more »
On the topic of driving… and Game. I came to the conclusion that running game was a lot like driving. It ebbs and flows like you drive a car, it is not all straight line connect the dots like a train on rails, sometimes you need to hit the gas, sometimes brake, sometimes switch gears. Pay attention to all three, heads up in real time. watch the revs… Attraction = Gas. Visceral excitement, press it hard and faster you will go, flush she will get. Stay on it, you may hit the wall…. Comfort = Brake. Brake makes you feel… Read more »
The Patrise and Wife video is an excellent example of appropriate male and female interaction. He took her through a range of emotions and calmed her down with a pat on the knee. She was giddy and overcome with joy like a little girl at the end. Beautiful.
POTUS has submitted to the FI imperative so though he still maintains a vey strong frame, it is still blue pill frame/beta frame, bawling away on national tv n all. A betaized alpha is a beta for almost all practical purposes.
@Rollo,
Please when possible take out the rep “imperative” after FI for me. Thanks.
Rapport = Clutch. Switch gears when you need to align with her spirit, change topics. get serious… switch gears get playful… switch gears get personal… Rapport (a close and harmonious relationship in which the people or groups concerned understand each other’s feelings or ideas and communicate well.) Oft understated in the manosphere. As if it doesn’t matter. Often understood, but should be understood as “out of control”. What is actually going to happen if I let off the clutch, or experiment with the clutch? Answer: I don’t really know the outcome after I let off the clutch, do I? It… Read more »
Lol, the more obnoxious I am (in a fun way), the more women like it. It’s like it’s part of mating or something. An engaging jerkiness arouses women.
With mastery, you can match gear speeds without using the clutch.
“POTUS has submitted to the FI imperative so though he still maintains a very strong frame, it is still blue pill frame/beta frame”
Depends on whether his sexual strategy is actually working. The only true determinant of whether a man’s frame is working is whether his strategy is working.
He is Alpha (the leader of the country). If he is incongruent with he doesn’t have agency with the first lady. Sexual strategy is sexual strategy.
In other words: Who gives a shit how you are defined if your strategy is working. Welcome to a new SJF Maxim……
POTUS and the first lady. I dont want to go there. Suffice to say having to white knight for any favors is negotiation.
“With mastery, you can match gear speeds without using the clutch. Give me a literal example ( As if I’m ignorant of this). How to work an automobile. I remember my first car, smiling out loud, she was a beaut, a cutie…it was a manual Audi 4000 in 1988. The gear speeds were predictable and boring and I don’t remember ever considering not using the clutch. And it sucked when the timing belt broke on that bitch. Turns out she was rode hard and put up wet before it took control of her. And then give an example of how… Read more »
@ all,
Somebody here referenced this movie some time ago. Themes include female nature, beta and alpha. Good movie and worth watching if you haven’t already seen it!
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAunmJFl9lw&w=420&h=315%5D
Hard for women to trust a man without some status que to go with it. Like a job title. No matter how many times he displays his competency. And women are so often worse case scenario, that Rollo’s wife may not entirely trust him with her life. There’s always a thought of what if something bigger, meaner, whatever takes him out? What is she going to do then? And if she really didn’t have much appreciation for her life actually being saved, I say it’s due to women tend to hate admitting when a rash decision or action they make… Read more »
@Mr. Tomassi, I’ve been reading your blog for some time. The following links are not directly related to the post at hand, but you may find them of interest nonetheless (I’m not aware of a general comment section for your website). I’m sure you are familiar with the comic strip “Dilbert.” The author of this strip is Scott Adams, and he runs a blog that, in the past, briefly dealt with feminism (it now seems to focus mainly on Mr. Trump, Mrs. Clinton and the upcoming election.) His blog came to the attention of Jezebel, which is a webpage I’m… Read more »
“Beta men are endlessly told that a woman’s trust and rapport, her comfort level with a guy, is essential to her being intimate or sexual, or having a good relationship.” Women will shit test men by trying to convince them that all these things are necessary for a good relationship. Even when their relationship is already good. They want him to communicate more, talk more, open up more, etc., under the guise that there is anything fundamentally wrong with the relationship (there probably isn’t). All this is simply a manifestation of their natural Hypergamous insecurity. But if you go along… Read more »
“A common criticism among the MGTOW set is that a man investing himself into anything with the express purpose of attracting women is vanity or wasted effort.” As a man who’s been thoroughly tempted to go MGTOW, my criticism of the MGTOW idea of jumping through hoops is that it’s based (IMO) on the (probably repressed/subconscious) belief that relationships with women exclusively on a man’s terms is not possible. Women are fun. I only ignore this when I feel like women are inaccessible to me on my terms. Like “they’re out of my grasp and I’ll never be able to… Read more »
@ Softek, This is one problem I’m having with the whole MGTOW thing too and why I am beginning to take on a different RP perspective and move into a different camp. A refusal to learn to master women in your life in terms of intimate relations (drawing boundaries and saying the word “no” and making yourself your own mental point of origin), is a refusal to attempt to master your own masculinity and develop a positive and strong masculine frame, IMO, at least in relation to the opposite gender. Mastery over women involves mastery over yourself as a male.… Read more »
Haha, I found a 30 second video with a feminist message at the end – lol.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2TZGmdv8wI&w=560&h=315%5D
And here is an example of a man who mistakenly married a cluster B tiger. See how she got him isolated and all to herself at the end of the video? Nuff said on that! – lol
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MJt1dz59dE&w=420&h=315%5D
@Sentient Adding to that analogy…driving like a maniac only wastes gas and runs the risk of hitting a pole. My own game is much better calibrated. I’m not an approach hyena anymore. Having banged 10 girls this year, all but one regular are under 30 I’m in a position where I’m banging girls nearly 30 years younger than me. For them it’s a chance to be with an experienced chill guy. My value is through the roof. But it doesn’t always work. There are girls who don’t want that wild ride. in those situations you have to be able to… Read more »
@SJF “Furthermore, that old pristine asshole appendage that was my old cookie on another computer was a masculine appendage of pushing back at guys like YaReally (who now that admits that I drove him crazy, I can back off of with my only disagreeing with his 2% of anything he has ever said). I love YaReally as an Icon. I don’t disagree with 98% of his writings here. The charge of mis-appropriating stances is a psychological “projection”. In other words you have mis-represented me as much. Funnily, I have experience the 98% Iconic, 2% bull-shit Archetype a few times before… Read more »
“But please tell us more about this “Third Set of Books” you’ve discovered in this last 1.5 years of your wife actually touching your dick.” This: “Attraction is Attraction. Keeping a fuckbuddy attracted longterm is the exact same as keeping a wife attracted. When you can’t easily leave the relationship (for whatever reason) it’s harder to maintain Alpha/Lover frames, and a legal wife/kids/moving in/etc convert into huge chains preventing a guy from easily leaving the relationship…but it’s the exact same thing as being in a situation with any type of relationship where you can’t easily walk away for whatever the… Read more »
@ YaReally, Question for you just for my own clarification and learning purposes. So are you saying that learning game i.e.; dread, boundary setting, triggering competition anxiety, being your own mental point of origin and saying “no”, etc. should not be separated from PUA since it is PUA that gives you the sense of abundance you will need to avoid catching too many feels for a “unicorn” once you get involved with a woman? That would make since to me and seem to be good advice for somebody who has been “out of the game” for a while. On the… Read more »
Hey Rollo… This actually had me laughing out loud (emphasis mine):
“I get in now and grab the dog and bodily throw him up on the steep bank. THEN I do the same with Mrs. T.”
“I still have my doubts that Mrs. T trusts me implicitly with her life.”
Given that the dog came first, maybe her doubts aren’t entirely unreasonable. 🙂
@SJF “Is exactly what I discovered and have.” This is what we’ve been teaching since the beginning and what we teach in “SINGLE GUY PUA GAME”. “Married red pill game does exist. It’s not for the faint of heart and it is not merely ego-justification on my part.” Okay so tell us what works in marriage that doesn’t work in LTRs, fuckbuddies, etc Tell us exactly what rules apply to marriages that don’t also apply to normal LTRs. Let’s hear it, Gandalf. Tell us all about these “not for the faint of heart” mystical voodoo things you see that us… Read more »
@YaReally, “It does a disservice to guys who are trying to figure out what the fuck is going on and how to fix their lives.” EXACTLY, why you should write a book instead of constantly repeating what you say in comments scattered among dozens of posts. I had to create a page on my site of your comments and categorize it to keep it straight in my head. This is why guys will continue to be confused. They need a comprehensive book outlining why PUA and Red Pill is the same stuff – as you’ve covered here. I know writing… Read more »
@Corleone
““I get in now and grab the dog and bodily throw him up on the steep bank. THEN I do the same with Mrs. T.””
Yeah I spotted that too – that was funny.. In my case if the dog had been one of our kids though, the kid would have been first, no questions asked. I’m sure my ex would have understood…
I guess is just shows how much people can love their dogs
kfg: “I’ll use Patrese to indirectly answer that question. The late Carroll Smith, an auto racing engineer and mentor to young drivers, said there was one thing that all successful, professional race drivers had in common.
They would sell their own mother for a ride.”
Wow, they’d sell their own mothers for a ride.
Good thing they don’t’ have to join any organizations to drive professionally or their alpha cred would be forever rescinded. /sarc
@newlyaloof “EXACTLY, why you should write a book instead of constantly repeating what you say in comments scattered among dozens of posts.” The books are already out there for anyone to read. If guys would just read them I wouldn’t have to post at all lol but guys are lazy and different Red Pill communities shame men for looking at the old writing while simultaneously making shit up to discredit its value while boosting their own writing to keep men reading their shit instead of looking at the old texts. MRAs, TRP, Manosphere, MGTOW, it’s all bits and pieces of… Read more »
Lol, I’m not the one making distinctions. SJF Maxim #2: Game concepts and tactics are fungible (mutually interchangeable) across all relationship platforms. Can’t tell you how many times I said that here in 2015. “This is why I’m giving SJF shit. Everyone wants to separate all this shit and make it overly complicated so they can all stamp their personal brand/name all over it when all of this Married Red Pill Game and Relationship Game and LTR Game and bla bla it’s all the same thing. “ The only thing I’m trying to sell is masculine self improvement, knowing who… Read more »
Half the guys here are good examples of why the artificial division fucks men over. Rocket came in firing both guns about what a badass he was, having discovered hooker game and thinking he’s beat the system. But what happened? The exact same shit that PUA would’ve told him would happen if he hadn’t bought into the special super sekret hooker game he’s discovered or been taught and fuck all you sucker PUAs. Culum and Scribblerg were running their sugardaddy mentor game feeling like they’re on the right track without even realizing they were missing the mark, not because they… Read more »