Open Relationships

Functional_cuckoldry

During the last post’s comment thread I sort of went back in time to when I’d first heard the term ‘open relationship’. It was back in the mid 80s and I’d heard it being proposed to me by my first girlfriend when I was around 19 and she’d grown bored of my predictable Beta perfection. Needless to say this moment preceded my semi-pro rock star 20s and the natural Alpha-ness I matured into. So at the time I was thoroughly steeped in the dutiful Beta conditioning of believing that ‘going steady’ monogamy and only banging the ONE girl was the right thing to do.

I also believed that women’s motives were reliably based on what they said rather than what their behaviors implied (and their contradicting behaviors were the result of being confused by nebulous ‘society’s’ unfair expectations of women). So it was with a great deal of confusion that I was forced to wrap my head around exactly why my ‘girlfriend’ would want to retain me as an intimate orbiter while she pursued other guys to bang and become potential intimates with.

She suggested an “open relationship” – all the same non-sexual intimate expectations with no expectation of reciprocal sexual fidelity –  an idea she’d no doubt been familiarized with from her former hippie ‘free love‘ parents. And not unlike the simpering Beta in today’s cartoon, I too was uncomfortable with sharing my 18 year old girlfriend with any other guy. Looking back it was quite the conflict to my 19 year old, Beta conditioned mind. On one hand I was taught to respect the independence of a woman and didn’t want to be the guy to tell her what she could or couldn’t do, but I also bought into the Disneyesque sacrifice all for true love narrative.

I suppose now I owe her some gratitude since my rejecting this “I want to play the field” episode was instrumental in setting me on a course for my Alpha 20s and the “don’t give a fuck” attitude that unintentionally served me so well with women then.

Today there are cutesy synonyms like ‘poly’ to describe a woman who believes it’s in her multiple lovers’, as well as her own, mutual interests that they obligate themselves to what really amounts to her attention, emotional and sexual needs independent of each guy who fulfills that role for her. The problem arises in the degree of investment those men believe that an above board ‘poly’ woman will be able to appreciate. I had this situation presented in last weeks’ comments:

Why does an open relationship favor women and not men? It’s only cuckoldry if you don’t approve of it. If you agree to an open relationship for both of you, then it seems like an equal footing.

The cuckoldry Devil is in the details; and in this case that Devil is in the perceived ‘agreement’ and who’s doing the agreeing. Contemporary Open Cuckoldry and the social conventions of ‘free love’ era faux-idealisms in ‘open relationships’ work in tandem today to promote the sexual selection strategy of women’s Hypergamy.

Cuckoldry, in its most visceral, Hypergamous sense, favors women because there is no margin for error on a man’s part. Bear in mind that an ‘open’ relationship only serves a woman’s sexual imperative because she benefits from comfort, rapport, security and likely provisioning of the primary man with whom she’s come to this agreement with. In all honesty I’ve rarely met a guy in an open relationship who wasn’t a Beta at the mercy of his wife or LTR’s proliferative phase, Alpha Fucks, Hypergamous impulses.

Most of them understand their optionless condition and resign themselves to the women they’ve committed to, wanting to, and acting on fucking more suitably, conventionally, masculine men than themselves. Arguably, most stay at home fathers fall into a sort of contextual form of an open relationship for much of the same reasons even if their wives are only getting a vicarious Alpha ‘fix’ by working among higher status men who haven’t abdicated on their burden of performance by adopting the feminine support role.

What About Those Assholes?

Now I am aware of the often domineering men who insist on fucking women outside of their commitment to a monogamous lover. I also understand that the reverse can and does apply. I’m also aware that when a man’s SMV exceeds a woman’s it places her into a similar position to that of the Beta men I’ve just described.

Bear in mind that the issue I’m on about here isn’t one of fault, but rather how an effectively polygamous relationship serves the interests of either genders’ sexual strategy.

It’s vitally important to consider how both of these ‘open relationship’ formats are popularly perceived in a cultural context. For a woman, being ‘poly’ may hold some stigma to it. She may be considered a de facto slut in some sense – remember she’s maintaining the pretense that she’s committed to one or more men, rather than a booty call where there is no pretense of exclusivity – but the social (not to mention legal assurance) efforts being made to ‘normalize’ what amounts to her cuckoldry of that ‘primary’ partner is reinforced because it seemingly serves as some kind of new-age feminine-primary family unit. And after all, he too is ostensibly free to exercise his sexual strategy in this arrangement. A win-win, right?

In the case where the ‘primary’ partner is the woman and the high SMV man leaves her no choice but to adopt his sexual strategy as the dominant one in the relationship, that ‘open relationship’ is considered dysfunctional and socially frowned upon. He’s a cad or a philanderer at best, and an abusive self-absorbed inconsiderate monster at worst. Reverse the sexes in today’s cartoon and imagine what the feminine-primary social response might be.

Force Fitting Sexual Strategies

What we’re observing in a modern interpretation of ‘poly’ or ‘open relationships’ is a conflict between the normalization of unilateral control of sexual strategy within a monogamous relationship context. I know that sounds like a mouthful but consider…

The Cardinal Rule of sexual strategies:
For one gender’s sexual strategy to succeed the other gender must compromise or abandon their own.

No doubt many Blue and Purple Pill readers will (in the interests of “equality”) remind us that there was a time when it was socially expected of (high socio-economic status) men to “keep” a mistress (or use prostitutes) as well as a wife, or even have many wives. All socio-economic Apex Fallacies aside, this being an outlier rather than a norm, those arrangements still put that man into a position of maintaining support for both (all) women in order to satisfy his sexual appetites as well as the relative wellbeing of them.

In the modern instance where western(ized) women are a protected class in a feminine-primary social order, the priority of sexual strategy changes hands. I cover this exchange in the Adaptation series of posts, but to paraphrase, Free Love, open relationships or now, ‘poly’, has really become an increasingly acceptable methodology for women to optimize both the Alpha Fucks and Beta Bucks aspects of Hypergamy while still enjoying a semblance of the security that old order monogamy provides for women’s emotional needs.

Now lets review The Cardinal Rule of Relationships:

In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.

In an economic state where women are less financially dependent on (or autonomous from) men, the Alpha Fucks aspect of Hypergamy will take priority. That’s not to say the Beta comfort and rapport appeal becomes worthless as an emotional investment, but it’s less likely for a woman to need to prioritize that aspect while pursuing the Alpha Fucks aspect. Beta comfort and security have a value, but that value requires less urgency than pursing Alpha sexual experience (functional breeding opportunities).

Consider the poor Beta symp in the cartoon. That caricature is of a Beta conditioned man struggling with the Old Set of Books, with the old order ruleset expectations from a woman who will never recognize them because she’s never needed to. It’s his investment in her, his necessitousness, his optionlessness and his inability to see it’s the source of his frustration and his anxiety. He needs her, expects more from her, than she needs him.

The lie inherent in the humor of the cartoon is that women possess the capacity to compartmentalize their emotional investments. The Medium is the Message; women can only compartmentalize their feelings for men they don’t see as Hypergamously optimal men (i.e. Alpha, higher than their own SMV men). For men who embody that optimization, women simply cannot afford to feel anything more than submission (a submission to a dominant man they innately desire) to him and are thus unable to consider anything like compartmentalizing their emotions for him.

And from Schedules of Mating:

For a female of any species to facilitate a methodology for breeding with the best genetic partner she’s able to attract AND to ensure her own and her offspring’s survival with the best provisioning partner; this is an evolutionary jackpot.

‘Open’ relationships, and the social narrative reinforcement of the concept, are one such adaptation to facilitate this methodology.

All of this may seem a bit pervasive coming from the guy who advises men to spin plates and date non-exclusively for as long as it takes (if ever) to attain the depth of experience to become a relatively good judge of women’s innate nature, and then if he so chooses, decide how best to pair and parent with her.

The difference in this approach is characteristic of the differences in men and women’s sexual strategies. In Plate Theory, while there is an above board implication of non-exclusivity, there is never an implication that a woman is (or should be) more than a non-exclusive dating opportunity. There should never be any pretense of there being an established, invested relationship as we see in the ‘poly’ concept of women.

In fact this is the primary distinction in non-exclusivity; who’s Frame is the predominant one? In a woman’s ‘poly’ Frame there is a retainership implied in what she believes should be an accepted non-exclusivity.

Ask yourself this, why would a man persist in an ‘open’ relationship? What unique advantages does he get in this arrangement that he couldn’t by simply staying single, practicing Game and spinning plates? Then ask yourself what unique benefits does a woman receive from the same ‘polyamorous’ arrangement?

When you’re contemplating this, try to divorce yourself from the emotional investments and focus on cold hard evolved Hypergamy and how it would function for either sex in that arrangement. Keep in mind that as far as feminized society is concerned, and for all of the triumphalism of independent women, the onus of committed relationship responsibility still defines the worth of a man.

Beta “Manhood”

From MoodyPrism had an interesting observation about the social acceptance of cuckoldry:

I’ve seen men make the mistake of mentioning that they would never raise another man’s child on FaceBook. Shit storms ensued. The usual shaming tactics were trotted out such as manning up. Interestingly enough I’ve heard a woman (on one of those absolutely dreadful day time talk shows such as the View) say that a woman in a relationship with a man with his own kids was a fool for wasting her time on his kids instead of hers. The framework for open cuckoldry is already there, we just need to see the push that makes it completely socially acceptable.

Open Cuckoldry is already in its developmental stage in a social respect. When you consider the Sandbergian plan for Open Hypergamy, the logical implication of this is what’s described here – prioritizing the sexual selection and Hypergamous optimization of women on a societal level while maximally restricting (via social shaming and disapproval) the sexual strategies that would ever serve male interests,…so long as that male is anything less than an optimal Alpha.

Open Cuckoldry has many euphemisms now, but in the Red Pill aware perspective it’s just a matter of time until the social plan of prioritized Hypergamy and outright cuckoldry becomes a social norm.

TuffLuv also presented me with a related question in the last comment thread:

A little too black and white on this stuff Rollo. Sure cuckoldry, as you call it is becoming the norm.. the euphemism being “mixed family”. But I see the majority of instances not being a chick who had the child of some alpha bad boy, or even alpha good boy.. I just see fickle chicks who dumped the baby daddy cuz she either found something better or went looking for something better. The poor dad is just an every day average guy who got his heart broken by the bitch.

So, ponder if you will, if there is a difference between a man raising another man’s child(ren) where the bio father is less alpha (possibly by far) than the new suitor, and a beta man raising the child of one of the woman’s former studs.. I think in the real world you find the former far more than the latter, except in cases where the married or committed woman actually went out and cheated and got pregnant with another man’s child. Maybe that happens a lot but that is not *open* cuckoldry.. That’s classic cuckoldry, and perhaps the only thing that should be called cuckoldry.

I think there should be another designation for the former case. It’s still a bit shameful, but not nearly as much as the latter, eh?

Definitely something to consider, but this situation also implies a change in conditions or context with regard to the woman doing the cuckolding. The fundamentals don’t change – that woman may have bred with a less than optimal man, but the Hypergamous sexual selection impulse still drives her to seek out the Alpha fucks aspect of Hypergamy. She’s Making Up for Missing Out and still she has the provisioning and support she needs in order to pursue the opposite side of the Hypergamous equation she missed out on courtesy of the Beta father.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

709 comments on “Open Relationships

  1. @Culum – Thanks. And yes, my wing is all about Sarging. We have been working together for a while now. I do need to lay down the rules a bit better though as he disrupts me sometimes midset. He’s not as good at escalating verbally and spiking and he interjects sometimes with the dumbest shit. He’s in competition with me subtly and doesn’t even realize it. We need to sort this out.

    But he’s teachable and open and not some insecure douche. He gets laid and can talk to women, he just has no real plan. I think I’m going to request he does Julien’s Pimp course. The other night when we were at the new bar and were working the two hot bartenders, he kept just sidetracking my line with inane shit. He also didn’t understand what I was doing, even after explaining it to him so yeah, we have some work to do. I think in part he’s a bit jealous of how I get convos going with women and project dominance in a way he can’t. All I was trying to do was make an impression on the bartenders so when we came back they were like “Yo, Scrib” but he kind of fucked it up. Still made progress but yeah, there is some work to do for both of us.

    But like I said, he’s all about getting better. We both currently suck in many ways. I’ll look up the MM “Wing Rules” for sure.

    Thanks a lot! My Old Man Game is going to come to fruition in 2016! As I’ve said before, there are a ton of young hotties in the town near me, a college town with thousands of them, literally. Still working on my internals, etc. I’m doing an 18 hour drive down south starting tomorrow and am going to listen to Pimp on the ride to amp me up.

  2. @Roused – While I’ll defer to Culum and SJF etc., I was also struck by your behavior at the party in the sense of what you were trying to achieve? Spiking a little dread the right way would have made her fuck your brains out after the party, instead you pissed her off. Not sure what you did made sense at all and I think being clear about your Intent is crucial.

  3. @Newly – Again, you are getting lots of good input from other guys here but I was left with a sense that you might be able to turn the situation with your wife around. It’s very hard to understand what’s actually going on with her by how you describe her – sure, she’s super frustrated with you and may be unsalvagable but perhaps she’s actually just begging for you to game her and dominate her properly? I get that you have the “asshole” vibe down but I don’t get a sense of any seduction action from you.

    Also, divorce is a nightmare. It destroys families. I would always advise a guy to apply game and LTR Red Pill knowledge to the best of his ability before getting divorced (when kids are involved). I’m not sure what you should do, you are getting lots of advice here. It doesn’t sound like you have to make any immediate moves so I might set a goal/timeframe for yourself and see if you can apply what you’ve learned here to turn it around.

    I can see so clearly now how my lack of game with my ex-wife drove her from me. I no longer blame myself – I was working with the Old Rules and threw myself into it with abandon. I tried everything I knew, but I did it all wrong! As I’ve said before, I would gladly trade every lay since my divorce to have created a better relationship with my wife and to have been a father and husband in an intact family. Divorce with kids involved is like having a wound that never heals. Avoid it at if at all possible.

    One specific thought. Someone upthread mentioned how 50% custody is the norm now in many states and that men can easily get it. While I got divorced a while ago, I could have pursued it at the time. But I thought about it long and hard. What’s that like for the kid(s)? Bouncing back and forth? Also, there seems to be an equalism underlying this idea, as though Moms and Dads are interchangeable. I want my kids coming home to Mom every day, not sitting with a babysitter/nanny while I’m at a late business meeting or on a business trip. I provide something different than a mother does and don’t think this is good for children. My daughter was 4.5 at the time and she had a stay at home Mom, what I was now going to rip her away from her Mom for 50% of the time? Who was that actually going to serve? Even if you got married again quickly, what, the kids have to put up with all that and pretend they love the new wife as a stepmom? Fyi, I’ve been through that and it’s really hard for the kids (my Dad remarried pretty quick after my mom died and I was forced to treat her as my “new Mommy” – uggh).

    But again, I want to super clear that I don’t know what to do in our situation. I’m still figuring out lots of shit myself but I figured I’d give you what I’ve got and you can do with it what you want.

  4. @Roused

    A couple thoughts applying to LTR holiday party game. (mostly specifically to you, not general case game)

    Based on an observations of mine at parties with couples: One tip I would give you is when you are at a party like you described in your holiday party FR, at the stroke of 11:00 PM make it a point to gravitate toward the center of the party (the bar area, or middle of the “action”) rather than corner hotties on the fringe of the party. I’m talking about you, personally, being 6’3″ tall. When girls whether single or married are drunk at this time the want to gaze at a tall man. Watch this phenomenon at a party the next time. The tall attractive men instinctively know this. They have been doing it all their lives and know the girls will come to them. And the hindbrains of women impel them to want to look up at a 6’3” guy and have that guy look lovingly at her. At this point you can say something short and moronic and she will giggle at it no matter what. All she cares is to look up at you. And you make sure to have relaxed good eye contact. And don’t try to say a lot. At this point she is not out for your wits, but just to look at you.

    The other thing: You are trying to engender soft dread in your girlfriend by having sexy women with tall legs get you to bite their loose dress strings off a dress. A couple thoughts on that. More is better, so have other girls witness long legs being hot for you. This is of course preselection. 2 or three girls is better than one other girl (try trick #1 above. Hold court at 11:00 PM). But think whether your girlfriend would disqualify the girl who has you as the object of desire. If she would say she’s a skank, or she’s not worthy, etc. I had a similar situation at the Saturday party with a HB9, but she was a former BFNF (best friends not forever) of my wife and would be disqualified as a true mark of value. In other words, someone your girlfriend would be jealous of, not disqualify out of hand. And so you calibrate an lather rinse and repeat. You can go crazy with this, getting other girls to notice you, because you are there with your girlfriend and their is no performance pressure.

    In the latter advice, make sure it is your girlfriend’s idea that you are pre-selected. Obviously don’t beat her over the head with the idea or hint that girl was hot for you. If it comes subtle and the idea is generated by your girlfriend and not you overtly, the girlfriend will take it as her idea and it will be stronger in her mind for that fact.

    One other thought. That FR party is the perfect example of where you will have much better game if you don’t drink alcohol in excess. Much better. And don’t complain if your girlfriend drinks to much or don’t try to limit her if you are not drinking. What good can come of that if you are controlling and she is not intoxicated?

  5. “Spiking a little dread the right way would have made her fuck your brains out after the party, instead you pissed her off. Not sure what you did made sense at all and I think being clear about your Intent is crucial.”

    I disagree. Specifically, once again in his case, Roused already likely got his brains fucked out of him in the last couple days and he is getting it regularly. So it is no big deal to not get it on one night if it stokes slight dread and cures perceived one-itis. Win the war.

  6. @Scribble “I get that you have the “asshole” vibe down but I don’t get a sense of any seduction action from you.”

    For about as long as we’ve had kids, we’ve been part of the struggling middle-class that is barely able to keep it together without having to downsize. So, this whole time, we’ve both been like overworked, stressed-out zombies just trying to keep our heads above water. Not a good environment to facilitate seduction, but I’m working on fixing up the house so that we can downsize and hot have so much stress. That should help.

  7. @Andy
    The point of my post is that terpers clearly overvalue sex with low quality women, to the point that it’s considered by some here as the main indication of an ‘alpha.’ Imo, it’s far more alpha to be loved by one high quality woman. And even if I wasn’t very religious I would still not sleep around, I think that’s an indication of immaturity and insecurity (for men and women.) I certainly was both immature and insecure in HS, I’m not now.

    So you basically proved my point. You think my bf is a beta for being monogamous with me, and I’m wasting my time by not sleeping around with men. But we are different than you, that’s not how we define success. For my bf, being an ‘alpha’ means having a successful career (for him, Trump would be a far better rolemodel than Dan Bilzerian) and for me, being successful means forging a stable, happy family.

    That’s really what TRP and RPW should focus on, but it’s infested with men and women with high school mentalities.

    So yeah, take my advice and change your mentality. Oh, and read the Bible since you are clearly confused about religion.

    Btw, I am in shape, maybe underweight if anything, and have cooked for my whole family since I was 15. 🙂

  8. @Emily – Funniest? You lecturing me about the meaning of solipsism when you aren’t even responding to what I actually said. Do you get that, you dingbat? Note – I said Bizerian was an asshole – he’s not my role model. I just saw him as another guy similarly situated to Trump and a public figure that others here would know who isn’t marrying models in sequence and paying them off, and who projects a stronger Alpha vibe than Trump does. And stop calling Trump “Mr. Trump” – it makes you sound sycophantic.

    For the record:
    sol·ip·sism
    noun
    the view or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist.

    How would a person in such a state of mind behave? They would treat other people as though they were characters in a drama they were the star of. They would treat other people like cartoon characters, like they weren’t real. They would not be able to empathize or sympathize with them or even bother to pay attention to what they are actually saying. Such a person would simply use others as emotional stimulus and never slow down enough to actually listen to what is being said to them. Like you, cupcake.

    Perhaps you should read what Rollo has written on the subject, it might enlighten you. http://therationalmale.com/2015/09/02/solipsism-i/

    Get that you aren’t even dealing with what I’m actually saying as a starting point. You are so consumed with what you want to say and your emotional reaction to it that you don’t even bother to fully comprehend my commentary, and instead launch into what amounts to a non-argument wrt my comments. It’s so ridiculous and superfluous – really, Emily. You also incorrectly characterize my POV on gaming/getting laid. I’ve said here countless times I would trade all the pussy I’ve gotten since my divorce for a good intact family and marriage. I’m making lemonade of my lemons – but you just ignore all that in favor of your pre-set narrative.

    It’s idiotic and demonstrates the solipsism we discuss here – yet you miss all of that. I’m not surprised, the world is filled with women like you today, who at such a young age believe they know all there is to know. That is, of course, until the shit hits the fan and then it’s back to traditional roles.

    You want to be a traditional woman? Shut the fuck up and listen, child. Your betters are speaking, your elders who you should have some respect for. You might actually learn something. But for now? You are merely a Christian version of the “Strong, Independent Woman”, lording your sexual power over your BF and running your mouth about shit you haven’t even bothered to think through. So don’t expect to be taken seriously here. You don’t behave in a serious way.

    Take a hint from Liz or LeeLee – they are serious about their engagement here. They think before they comment, they don’t just vomit up their preconceived notions or ill-conceived sense of superiority. You are the one who’s fucked in the head, sweetie, not us. Wake up.

  9. “I certainly was both immature and insecure in HS, I’m not now.”

    And I thought your last joke was your best. Just goes to show it pays to wait.

    “You think my bf is a beta for being monogamous with me . . .”

    That’s not monogamy.

    ” . . . for me, being successful means forging a stable, happy family.”

    Just like all the Mrs. Trumps did.

  10. “Reverse the sexes in today’s cartoon and imagine what the feminine-primary social response might be.”

    This is exactly what I’ve been dealing with.

    Long story short, I’m not committing to a relationship with this girl, and at the same time, I want her to be committed to me while I’m free to have sex with other girls.

    I’ve been VERY tempted to go Blue Pill with her and enter a monogamous relationship, but the fact is that Dread works, and I’ve worried that if I ‘give her what she wants’ and commit to her, she won’t be mine for much longer. Many times by now we’ve had ridiculously hot sex after a huge argument about me looking at other women and how upset she was about that. She’s aware that I want to have sex with other women and that I don’t want to be exclusive with her, and that I’m not committing to her, and yet she’s still here.

    For the most part we get along great and have a lot of fun together, and we really like each other a lot. For all the worries she has that I’m ‘using’ her or that she’s ‘temporary,’ that isn’t how I feel at all. I’m just prioritizing myself. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about her or that I don’t want to be with her. Just that it isn’t healthy for me to NOT be the center of my own life and put what I want and need first.

    Even though she’s told me a LOT that she can’t do this anymore, that it isn’t fair to her, and has threatened multiple times to terminate the relationship on the grounds that she can’t deal with the way I am, etc. She’s still hanging around and we’re having just as good a time as we ever were.

    Coming from a freshly unplugged Blue Pill mindset, this has been throwing me quite a bit.

    I mostly ‘get it,’ but there’s still the fear of losing her. It’s quite a headfuck to think that by NOT committing to her, I’m keeping her around.

    Honestly, I also don’t like that she refers to me as her “friend” to her friends and other guys, because she doesn’t know what to say — I’m not saying I’m her boyfriend so she won’t call me that.

    But if everyone thinks I’m just her ‘friend’ is that a form of soft cucking? Opening herself up to other relationships because no other guys will think of it as cheating because I’m “just friends” with her?

    I don’t like it. I’m not sure what to make of that either. In my mind, I want other people to recognize me as her boyfriend, but retain my freedom to do what I want.

    Even if I REALLY feel like I would have no problems being monogamous with her, too, my understanding of TRP leads me to think that monogamy would be the path to destruction, ESPECIALLY in the absence of Dread — the Dread that’s been working so well so far to keep things together.

    She even had a dream last night that I got pissed off at her and wouldn’t talk to her, and she saw me talking to another girl. She got insanely jealous and upset. When she woke up she was so happy that I was lying next to her and that I hadn’t left her and then she apologized profusely for getting mad at me the other night because I’d been looking at other girls at a party we went to.

    Still trying to wrap my head around all of this.

  11. “For my bf, being an ‘alpha’ means having a successful career (for him, Trump would be a far better rolemodel than Dan Bilzerian) and for me, being successful means forging a stable, happy family.”

    No, being Alpha would be if he turns you on, fucks you well, and could have other chicks if he wanted. Is he those things?

    My guess? Either you’ve never had good sex before and are ignorant to what good sex is like (which might actually work in your favor.) Or you think that the Holy thing to do is sacrifice your sex life in favor of a “good” man.

    Which one is it?

  12. “She’s still hanging around and we’re having just as good a time as we ever were.”

    Pay attention to what she does, not what she says.

    “. . . I’m just her ‘friend’ is that a form of soft cucking?”

    Since she’s negotiating commitment that you are withholding, it’s a shit test. Smirk.

  13. Back when I was a boy/young man, we had tougher skins. I think that men have bought in to the FI’s femininization of men and that inhibits plain speaking.

    Coddling of men vindicates the FI’s pussification campaign.

  14. I don’t object to people telling me I’m out of line. I may not agree, but I have no inherent objection to being told off. Several men have done that and you don’t see me taking my marbles and going home or ignoring them.

  15. Heh Rollo, Emily should pay more attention to her studies.

    That would suck to be a philosopher six years down the road that can only debate with
    -changing the subject
    -non-sequiturs
    -ad hominems
    -straw man arguments
    -and making shit up.

    And WTF is a terper? Is that supposed to be a derogatory term for someone that is red pill aware? She can at least capitalize it. What about if one is game savvy? does terper still apply?

  16. Lol, she sees Trump as a role model for a husband for her BF – when he’s been married three times and only marries hot, young models. She also expressly focuses on career success as what her BF should be focused on – expressly Beta conditioning.

    Of course, neither Trump or Bilzerian are good role models for any man. They are both fucktards who started life on third base, hit singles and think they hit homeruns. This is why they are both caricatures of men and are compensating nonstop with over the top displays of masculinity.

    As for an Alpha role model, try out say Henry Rollins. Here’s something he said about women that I never understood until the Red Pill:

    “With me, there’s just ideas, schedules, strategy, tactic and objective. That’s really not what your girlfriend wants to hear about. Another thing not to do is almost forget she’s there, it’s unbecoming. It is, at this point, impossible for me to be with a woman and connect on any level beyond platonic, intellectual or physical. Past that, I am a room sparsely outfitted with broken items.”

    He captured this male essence in his recent movie, He Never Died. Not exactly as the arc of the character and milieu is bizarre, but I could tell he was bringing his bare, feral masculinity to the fore in that role.

    Here’s a profile done on him, it’s quite compelling for any man to read. http://paradigmmagazine.com/2011/12/20/paradigm-magazine-henry-rollins-interview/
    http://paradigmmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Idealist2_p094_%C2%A9GEF.jpg

    Emily – this is what an Alpha male looks like. Tell us, how does he match up to your BF? Lol, I know he makes you wet. Indeed, I’ve realized that your ramblings here are merely your inchoate craving for Alpha cock. I bet if you went back to being the little slut you were before Jesus found you, you’d have no interest in posting here anymore…

  17. Speaking of the guardian:

    We have only had sex three times in four years

    now what does Pamela Stephenson Connolly, a psychotherapist specialising in sexual disorders, think is the answer:

    …try to simply share what it’s like for you to go without intimacy, and how much you miss it. Acknowledge that you’re aware sex has become an off-limits subject, but that – rather than cajoling her – you genuinely want to understand her feelings. Then just listen.

    Hopefully the guy finds TRP at some point. Now he’s getting more sex than Emily’s boyfriend so perhaps it’s time for a stiff upper lip.

    http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/dec/07/we-have-only-had-sex-three-times-in-four-years

  18. @Softek – You should write a book about your journey, it’s so inspirational and nothing short of amazing. My advice? Focus more on yourself, deepen your commitment to developing yourself. You’ve only finished the first lap in discovering your true power and abilities as a man. At a certain point, you will be laughing about how your girl behaves, not be perplexed by it. You are the prize – she gets that. Perhaps you should try internalizing that even more. Read the Henry Rollins interview I posted, seek out men like that who are truly “creating their own wheel and running on it”…

  19. @SJF: Terper is a slang time for a TRP person: The Red Pill (TRP). The term is mostly used on reddit, particularly by the blue pill (TBP) subreddit, which aims to try to make fun of the red pill subreddits. Emily probably is on TBP.

  20. Game and kids…one of my kids took me out for coffee and a chat. Game is working. The kid used to not even talk to me back when I believed that Mrs. Gamer’s shit didn’t stink. My kid now even accepts that mom isn’t perfect. I’ve had to run some Mom Destroyer Game on the kid. (Not trying to destroy kid’s relationship with mom–I’m merely doing this to bring kid back to reality.) This is a big deal.

  21. @Scribbler & Softek:

    “At a certain point, you will be laughing about how your girl behaves . . .”

    Exactly, the recommended smirk ought to come naturally, her ploy being so obvious that it’s funny.

    And when she reverses the ploy to forcing the issue by calling herself your girlfriend, outright giggle.

  22. ScribblerG:

    I would recommend every divorced father get as much time with the kids as they can. Quantity time, actually raising the kids.

    I would have taken 50/50 if I could have gotten it without a big court fight. I got 6-8, which is more than 40% time. My state has fuzzy criteria where I was going to get somewhere between 5-9 and 50-50 if there was a fight. Ex was lowballing and might have had sway with a judge because the kids were young and she was a SAHM. So I took the middle when it was offered. Lawyers are expensive even in an “amicable” divorce.

    I have a job where I can flex my time and be with the kids when it’s my time. No daycare. So that helps. But I have talked to adults whose parents divorced, and with 50-50 or close, yes, they live out of a suitcase, but the kids still prefer a relationship with both parents. They don’t want to have to choose.

    Maybe your daughter feels like you didn’t fight for her. Hate me for saying that if you want. Just trying to help. Myself, I’m a very passive guy, but I will fight if cornered. I’m cornered now, so I fight. Not in front of the kids or anything, but I will fight for them and to be the best father I can be with the shit sandwich my ex has made.

  23. I can’t help it. My clients are all slowing down and I’m just chilling here, enjoying the day. So, I’m gonna talk a little more about Trump. Just one snippet, so people can get a sense of just how stupid the man is – in his primary business, that of real estate. Note, Emily, I didn’t say “dumb” – he’s not unintelligent, he’s stupid in that he doesn’t use his mind to its full potential by a long shot. I also do this for others here who have fallen under his thrall.

    In 2006, The Donald started a U.S. based retail mortgage company. Lol, in 2000 and fucking 6. Anyone in the finance side of the real estate business could easily see that we were, at best, approaching an end to an expansionary real estate cycle. And of course, those of us who understand the derivatives and securities markets could see how credit quality was deteriorating rapidly and that defaults were rising. This was common knowledge in the business at the time (example, AIG had stopped expanding its book in this business at the end of 2005 and internal risk monitors were demanding 6 billion+ be set aside for losses, they were ignored). While timing a crisis and even a full on downturn is always hard, one would have to be a fucking retard to go into the mortgage business at that time. Note, I’m not talking about developing real estate – real estate markets are local and one could have been forgiven for not seeing the bubble on the asset side of the real estate business, but on the finance side? Fucking absurd – this means he didn’t even understand what was going on in these markets.

    Yet he said at the time, “Who knows more about financing than me?” Of course, Trump Mortgage was out of business in 18 months. This kind of bluster is common for him, and when he says similar things about his ability to run govt well and play geopolitics well, consider how little he actually knows about the fundamentals of either while making those statements. I don’t mind the bluster, I don’t mind the grandstanding, but I mind that he’s an inch deep and a mile wide.

    His foray into Atlantic City was similar, he was “dumb money” and while he was building, other casino magnets passed on what they knew was a temporary blip in AC’s decline and spent their money in Vegas and Macao.

    Been to the Trump casino in AC recently? As I’ve shared, I like to play tournament poker and am not bad at it. 3 years ago on a ride back from down south I played in AC and found a room for the night at the Trump Taj Mahal. 56 bux, lol, during the week between Christmas and New Years. I was just sleeping and showering in the room for a night, so I just wanted a cheap room that was not in some shady motel. But I was stunned by what a dump it had become. It smelled bad. Some of the elevators were out of service and some of mirrored glitzy things strewn everywhere in is gaudy style were chipped and cracked. Carpets worn, lol.

    Just like him. It is funny to hear Emily lecture me about him though. I wonder, if a Collateralized Debt Obligation jumped into Emily’s lap and started humping her, does anyone here think she would even know what it was?

    Neil Young wrote a song about the likes of Emily a long time ago. “You’re a stupid girl, you really got a lot to learn.”

  24. Hey Folks…

    Field Report Follow-Up

    I almost hate to post this because it shows how little I know about RP despite all my reading, and is a bit cringe-worthy, but if it helps anyone, especially myself, well, that’s what RM is for, right? I need the post-mortem on it to get the lessons out of it.

    This may get long so I will go over basically what had happened and THEN do my take so people can just read an comment on the first part if they want.

    What Happened

    First, to sum up what happened before…

    Little over month ago I walk out of a building to see former female co-worker who I worked with for 5 years, 15 years ago. We were always friendly, but that’s it. We had bumped into each other twice in 15 years, brief, friendly interactions. She’s late 30’s, early 40’s, divorcee, one kid.

    I walk over to say hi, and she is *overtly* demonstrative physically. She gives me lingering hug, looks me in eye and says, “You look good”, and in the proceeding 5 minutes grabs at my arm repeatedly as we chat. I tell her I have to run, but she should email me, and give her my email w/o writing it down. As I leave, she hugs me again and kisses me on the cheek, and not a peck either. I leave and within 20 minutes she has emailed me with a very effusive note, saying it was terrific to see me and she’s looking forward to keeping in touch for next 2 decades.

    I sent out email next day which I agree was pretty milquetoast and bland saying it was great to see her and I will email about trying to catch up.

    She never responds to that email.

    I then posted the interchange here and got feedback.

    I wait a solid month, trying to figure out the logistics for Forge’s suggestion of saying to her, “I will be at X at Y time, if you are around” or something to that effect. I think I have an opportunity which presents itself, but RL complications get in my way.

    Out of frustration (and sleep deprivation from some of those RL complications) and I’ll admit it, an extreme lack of OI, I end up emailing her from a different email account to a different email account of hers, in case my first email got caught in spam filter.

    The email attempted to be playful and teasing and funny, basically blaming her for me not emailing her earlier because she know how unreliable I am after working together. I thought it was funny, and heck, it was, but probably for someone I had been conversing with for a while, not in this situation. For better or worse, though, it was probably truer me. I figure if she can’t take my sense of humor, fuck ‘er!

    Anyway, initially, I felt great in sending it out, because I felt a whole bunch of tension lift suddenly and my mood improved. Only a littler later did I question it. It seemed like I might have been purposefully blowing this up.

    Now, I sent this out to an address I am certain she monitors, and yet, for 5 days I hear nothing…

    Well then.

    I figure the chances she got neither message for any reason to be at 5% and that is generous. I get a roil of emotions going, but by day 5 I am accept that that is that. Message received. If she had any genuine interest, she would have done SOMETHING in response. I move on.

    However, I THEN receive a message from her on a professional networking site I recently joined and added her as a connection, which must have seemed to her like I had just been promoted:

    Congrats on the new job! Hope you’re doing well.

    *******

    My Take

    Okay, so trying to break this down to see what I have learned, or more importantly, absorbed.

    THE MEDIUM IS THE MESSAGE

    Right?

    Whatever interest she MIGHT have had, seems to have gone cold for whatever reason. Otherwise, she would make *some* effort here.

    Got it.

    Or is that I completely flubbed it as far as leading? That I am expecting reaction from in adequate action? That I did not demonstrate stuff worth responding to?

    I can even understand the Medium she chose to give that message. Completely different venue than the others, and via a ‘professional’ site. The sub communication suggests she is sending me message that she is not looking for personal relationship, right?

    But someone has to walk me through the female mindset here, step by step, so I can absorb it. I think I am resisting it because it is an level of ugly truth I don’t want to absorb.

    What I mean is that in the midst of all this, I ran across the concept that women are purposefully ambivalent and ambiguous in their actions because of evolutionary pressures. It basically for her to A) leave her options open period (who doesn’t love having options?), B) it generates continued male interest because men like resolution, but resolution ends things like the interest so they like to keep men guessing.

    So, the last message, subconsciously or no, is purposefully written to not acknowledge the previous two emails or anything I wrote in them, and leave me considering, however remote a chance, that she received neither. It also leaves open the door respond, and still pursue, without giving me anything in return.

    Which, off course, leaves me still trying to figure HER out rather than having her try to figure ME out. Is that her pulling me into her frame?

    Basically, I think I sorely lack the ability to think like a chick. My male take is:

    Chick has attraction for me + could probably use a lay/FB + I would be ‘convenient’ for + she expressed overt interest + I reciprocate interest = She helps facilitate the bouncy-bouncy because she wants it.

    When I described my roil of emotions above, I have to say this really sent me on a roller coaster ride because it dredged up a lot of frustration I had bottled up over the years regarding women and my blindness to this shit.

    I was pissed at this woman at first, really pissed, because I felt like I was being played with and was manipulated (and probably was), but deep down, the frustration I feel is with myself for not groking this more easily and the feeling of vulnerability that engenders.

    I realize women do what women do, and it’s up to me to deal with it. I do feel like 14 year old grappling with this, and at my age it is fucking embarrassing.

  25. One additional thing I could use some insight on dealing with…

    Despite me saying “women do what women do” I am having trouble accepting this idea that a woman can be so over the top with her signals, be so demonstrative and then shut that shit down on a guy. That feels like a ridiculous sense of entitlement, but is that just the ugly truth of today?

    Yes, I know there are bio-mechanics to that, and yes, please beat them into my head, but it irks me. I almost feel violated like a chick would be if you grabbed their ass out of the blue and gave it a good squeeze.

    Women will complain about guys misrepresenting themselves to women to get in their pants, but women doing this kind of shit just for attention seems pretty fucking close to the same thing, or am I bat-shit?

    To anyone commenting, please don’t pull punches.

  26. @Seraph,

    My suspicion is that she initially had the vibe that you were alpha, but she became convinced otherwise. I could be way off here but I think she was looking for you to escalate, hence the kiss on the cheek. Why did you give her your email instead of your phone number?

    Anyway, I think it confirmed for her that you’re not alpha when you sent the milquetoast email. She was not ACTUALLY looking to catchup but she offered that up as beta bait/plausible deniability.

  27. “Despite me saying “women do what women do” I am having trouble accepting this idea that a woman can be so over the top with her signals, be so demonstrative and then shut that shit down on a guy. That feels like a ridiculous sense of entitlement, but is that just the ugly truth of today?”

    YaReally has written a ton about this. In that moment, she was super into you but over time her buying temperature cooled and you failed to spike it back up with your shitty email lol.

  28. @Striver – No hate as you aren’t being a douche. I wonder why guys here can’t get that it was how ASD went at me, and why versus me not being able to take input on me and my daughter? He was changing the terms of our argument on politics cuz he’s simply at not my level of understanding of such things and his facile thoughts on the subject were destroyed by me. So he started yapping about “step daddy destroyer game” and other such nonsense.

    The difference between us, Striver, was that I didn’t have “flex time”. I was a corporate road warrior who would sometimes fly to London to have six hours of meetings and be back the same day. I’ve done more red eyes than I can count and flew over a million miles. I set out to be a great provider as I lived in the NYMetro area and realized when I got married at 24 and promised my wife that she could stay home with our children that in that region, I needed to make 250k/year (minimum) to have a nice house, two cars, take a couple of vacations a year, save for retirement and college for the kids etc. There is no flex time with such jobs. It’s a 60 hour a week grind, minimum and i had a 3 hour plus commute on top of that, very typical of that area. Fyi, now you really need to make 450k to have a decent lifestyle there…One of the many reasons I moved away.

    When my daughter was little, I would always tell her when I was going away and bring her back a crystal from every trip I went on for her to hang in her windows. She loved them but by the time she was 4, the windows in her room were packed with crystals and there was no more room.

    You see, I thought my job was to provide. And when I was home I was a very attentive father. I didn’t go fishing with my buddies on the weekend, I didn’t have a big social life, I loved being home. My wife and I had a deal (I thought) – my job was to provide a great financial basis for our lives and her job was to provide a great home for us and be the primary caregiver to our children. I kept my end of the bargain, but my ex checked out of her responsibilities when I was 28 and she was 30. I think it was her “epiphany” phase, realizing that her options were slimming by the day and that she could do better than me. At this point of my life she would make fun of me for the large dark circles under my eyes, calling me her “little racoon” as I was so tired from the ceaseless work and travel.

    The payoff came just after we split, thankfully. Our last year together I made about 95k, not bad for 1992 at 30 years old but within three years I had tripled that. She went for the chef at a restaurant a friend her’s owned, and she had to work again. She always resented him for that – apparently having a big dick wasn’t enough for her either, she wore him down to a nub of a man and they split when my daughter turned 18. She told me in a moment of rare honesty that she had hung in the marriage for at least 5 more years after she knew it was over just so I wouldn’t have the satisfaction of seeing her second marriage fail. So desperate was her deformed identity to see me as the villain, she did that. She is what’s called a “cover NPD”, which is in the same family as BPD disorders. And just to refresh those who got bore with my technical discussions of clinical Parental Alienation, having some form of BPD/NPD is a requirement for clinical parental alienation.

    As for your statement that my daughter might have been angry that I didn’t “fight for her” I think you’re right. We had this intense exchange when she was 15 and really troubled and acting out a lot where she shared how angry she was with it all and how trapped she felt with her mother. But I also have to ask you this – given my career, how would it have been possible for me to be a good primary caregiver 50% of the time? I wanted to take 50% physical custody but I thought it would be selfish of me. She had been raised by her stay at home Mom and was already super close with her.

    You should also know that at this stage of her life, up until she was 9-10, people would constantly comment on how close we were. I was told all the time “what a good Dad you are”, I was super involved as she lived in the same town. I thought it was all going to be okay, while instead, I was suffering a death of a thousand cuts. It didn’t actually become clear until her 18th birthday how badly I’d been denigrated and minimized.

    I’m not sure what I would do now. I get the choices you have made, but still, remember, the kids are going to tell you what you want to hear to some degree. You may not find out for 10 years that they hate being shuffled back and forth between homes. Me? I still don’t think that’s good for the children – I get that it’s great for parents though…

  29. @Dutchman
    My bf hardly uses the net or his computer. Mostly just browses a comedy website every now and then, but that’s about it.

    @Scribbler
    Solipsism is actually a theory that arises from Rene Descartes argument in Meditations, where he starts by asserting that you cannot prove that anything exists. But he then proves, by logic, that you cannot doubt your own existence because the very act of doubting your own existence proves that you are an entity that exists in some form.
    Solipsism then, is the philosophical position that your own existence is all that can be known to be true.
    The way you guys use the phrase is incorrect. You will note that the word is only used in the manosphere.

    By the way, I understand that you are bitter, and I’m sorry about that. But you should not express your bitterness in hatred and generalizations of women. Understand that young men read these blogs too, and they will be left with an extremely cynical view about relationships and women if they read what you are writing.

    The people here are not my ‘betters.’ Liz and LeeLee certainly aren’t. But, I’m not trying to fight with you or be disrespectful. I’d honestly love if the manosphere would actually focus on helping men in relationships and self-improvement. God knows some men desperately need it. But as it is, it’s become infested with bitterness and misogyny. And that’s a shame.

    @Rollo
    That Guardian article really makes me sick. Women like that are terrible.
    But yeah, they have been manipulated by feminism. After all, feminism and TRP both teach their followers to focus on short term desire and hedonism.

    I mean, there isn’t really anything constructive in fucking a girl for one night and never meeting her again, but figuring out strategies to do that constantly is 50% of what the manosphere is about. And really, constantly chasing pleasure is not gonna work out well for anyone in the long term, nor develop you as a human being.

    @IAS
    Yep! I don’t really post there, but I have a look every now and then. All they really do is link posts from the TRP subreddit which are blatantly misogynistic.

    Aaaanyway. Merry Christmas everyone!

  30. @Dutchman,

    Thank you. I am going to walk away from keyboard for awhile after this, but keep it coming. I appreciate it.

    Okay, I get what you are saying. All of it. It makes sense.

    My question is, WHY do the last message? What is the female psychology of that? Is it simply a little more plausible deniability whip cream on the sundae? Is it trying to garner a little more attention? Is it an attempt to elicit a little more of the response she was looking for?

  31. @Seraph

    It’s not as if women don’t talk to men they consider betas at all. Think about it like if you saw her at the grocery store. She wouldn’t be falling all over you because she’s already concluded you’re beta, but she’s still probably going to at least say hi. Look at how little thought and effort went into the last message. Look at how little vulnerability she had to display. It’s just a throwaway friendly social gesture, like waving to your neighbor as you pull out of the driveway.

  32. @Emily

    “My bf hardly uses the net or his computer. Mostly just browses a comedy website every now and then, but that’s about it.”

    LOL. Way to not answer my question at all and disqualify him.

    “Oh no, he’s not the sort of guy who even CAN use a website for communication with other men. That doesn’t fit my definition of who he is, so I can’t bring him on here.”

  33. “@SJF, doesn’t churchianity generally frown upon Philosophy and favor theology or seminary schooling?”

    I can’t speak from experience because I have never been a churchian (although I went to some excellent Catholic schools and love and respect that experience–an almost entirely secular experience) but I would think that a philosophical aptitude and rational thought would be scary for churchian elders and old church ladies. It would be more difficult to keep the flock in line.

    The Church doesn’t need to worry about Emily, though, her degree is for feather-in-a-cap only and at the rate she is going (at least judged by her posts here) she is in no danger of being a critical, rational thinker. I was implying that Emily should develop those skills. Not that she ever will.

  34. Emily – Honey, do you think I’m unfamiliar with Descartes? There is also a common use of the word solipsism, I even gave you the definition straight out of the dictionary. The word is often used to describe the kind of mindset I described and Rollo’s use of the term is accepted and it is used that way all the time – it is not always referring to Descartes tiresome reasoning (see his “circle” debunked very well here http://philosophyotb.com/w/descartes-circle-debunked) . So, get again that you have little idea of what you are talking about and instead are deflecting and using your own ego buffers to avoid dealing with what I’m actually saying. I get that you are ego invested in thinking that you are smarter than many of us here, but what you miss is that your commentary demonstrates that you are not.

    As for me being bitter, this is just more deflection. I share much more than bitterness here and am much less bitter than I’ve ever been. Even more galling, you then deign to correct me on the example I set here when many of those same men you claim I’m doing some harm to tell me that I’m a huge help to them. Do you get the arrogance you are displaying by pretending you know what they need to hear? Do you get how all of this babble from you is really just a reflection of your ego investments distracting you from engaging in actual dialog? No, of course not, and this is because you are a perfect example of the female solipsistic mindset.

    Funniest? How you apparently pick and choose between the traditional values and biblical scriptures you adhere to. Here are a couple of cites for you which instruct you how to behave towards your elders.

    Peter 5:5 “Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.””

    You have little humility and even less wisdom.

    Timothy 5:1-3 “Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to him respectfully as you would to your own father. Talk to younger men as you would to your own brothers. Treat older women as you would your mother…”

    Yet you go on and on and on and on and on about nonsense. You live in a a make-believe world where you are more informed and wiser than all of use here, violating your own professed values. This not only demonstrates a solipsistic nature, it also demonstrates arrogance and hypocrisy.

    Either be a good Christian girl or don’t, but you can’t have it both ways, my little snowflake…

  35. @Dutchman
    Naa I’m just saying he’s unlikely to listen to me even if I ask him. I actually would like to know his opinion on the red pill. But he thinks I’m ‘weird’ for even commenting on blogs and on youtube. So he’s not gonna join the manosphere anytime soon.

    Maybe after I ‘divorce-rape’ him or ‘leave him for Chad’ or something.

  36. Re: the Roused party girls

    Sounds like you were giving an impression of ‘chasing’ the girls a bit. That creates resentment. The impression to aim for is that you’re just being your usual self and the girls are chasing YOU. That’s dread and massive DHV.

  37. “The way you guys use the phrase is incorrect.”

    It is shorthand for “solipsism syndrome,” which is well understood as such by people familiar with the term and eases conversation by not having to explicitly define all terms in their long form.

    Of course that only works for people who have had a sufficient education in the subject, so it would seem you haven’t “taken a course” in that yet.

    Perhaps when your level of understanding has progressed beyond the sophomoric.

    But you’re so cute when you try to teach us to suck eggs.

  38. @ Emily

    Happy holidays. I’m not bitter or misogynistic. And I’ve been monogamous and married for longer than you have been alive. I like your religion too, just not your feminized version of a church. (and there is nothing wrong with femininity–I love the feminine in woman, it gives the masculine polarizing energy). So therefore you should listen to what I have to say because I am not bitter or misogynistic (how’s that for an argument?).

    The red pill and game are a praxeology. Not an ideology. They work. Your churchian-ism is an ideology. What is it doing for the world? (We can all agree it is making solipsistic you feel good about yourself. So there’s that–and you–and you and that.)

  39. @Newly – Zerohedge is very good. but his politics are a bit off sometimes for my taste. However, for insight into capital markets (beyond the nonsense being spewed at you by CNBC), there is no better source for the “man on the street”.

  40. @KFG
    Irony that you are calling me uneducated on this subject, while using the term ‘solipsism syndrome’ incorrectly.
    ‘Solipsism Syndrome’ has far more to do with existence and nonexistence in a philosophical sense than the way you use the term (self-obsessed, narcissistic.) Example: A person who believes that the world outside their own mind isn’t completely real suffers from solipsism syndrome.

  41. @Rollo: could I have your email address? I really need some advice.
    I realize I probably come across like a bitter misanthrope but I promise I don’t bite. I just really need some help

  42. “A person who believes that the world outside their own mind isn’t completely real suffers from solipsism syndrome.”

    And here you are, “creating your own reality.”

  43. “I’d honestly love if the manosphere would actually focus on helping men in relationships and self-improvement. God knows some men desperately need it.”

    lol. What would your advice be to men in relationships Emily?

    “That Guardian article really makes me sick. Women like that are terrible.
    But yeah, they have been manipulated by feminism. After all, feminism and TRP both teach their followers to focus on short term desire and hedonism.”

    lol… Emily! Newsflash! It is possible to be attracted to your husband! You have a serious Madonna-whore complex.

  44. @Emily – That advice was for younger people, not for 53 year old men. But for the record, my Mom has been dead since I was 11. She died giving childbirth to my younger sister because she refused to have an abortion, a child I played a father figure to for decades. She turned into a cunt too, just as you are on the road to being…

    But I do have an analog. My ex-stepmother. I always respect her and treat her with kindness (even though she dropped me like a hot potato 21 days after I turned 18, so I have no obligation to be nice to her). However, I’m also an atheist and don’t subject myself to the entreaties of the bible as you do, so you are imposing an obligation upon me that I don’t have. The burden of compliance with Christian dogma is all on you, you tiresome little girl.

    At some point you will get that doing rhetorical battle with me is the equivalent of you bringing a knife to a gunfight in which I’m armed with this little baby…
    https://media.giphy.com/media/xUkWpgRjHk1t6/giphy.gif

  45. @scribblerg

    Hahaha, I was about to say “Dude I’d take a knife up against airsoft any day of the week…”

  46. Do you treat your mothers like you treat Insanity?

    I would if she posted the same willfully ignorant diatribes over and over on sites and concepts she has no objective understanding of.

  47. @Seraph

    Thanks for reporting back dude!

    So.

    You emailed her again? Lord. If you tell a joke and no-one laughs, do you tell it again in a funny voice?

    I mean, I get it. Been there. Your beta brain just takes over and you make it seem like just the BEST idea in your head at the time, then you’re like ‘hey wait, aren’t you supposed to NOT do that?’ Later on.

    It’s like how RSDTyler says if you fuck s chick with no condom it’s like the BEST FUCKING IDEA you’ve ever had, and then you nut it and are like ‘oh god what did I do?’

    Basically, a girl gave you attention and that’s to see how you react. If with escalation/ZFG if she’s not down, just NEXT – then she treats you alpha. If you let the window pass and start paying attention to her (in non-sexual ways cause that’s all you can do now) she treats you beta.

    Remember the redlight/greenlight face stuff. if you react to redlight face you’ve lost. Treat it like a shit test – ignore, DHV, tease, etc- and she’ll come back with greenlight face.

    Girls do this to all guys they’re not sure about. That’s what shit tests are FOR. And they’re DESIGNED to be hard to pass, that’s the point. Lucky for you you’ve got the cheat sheet, so you have some chance of passing them before you’re in a place where you’d naturally be able to.

    She’s your platonic acquaintance now. So of course you merit a quick note to be friendly w a (perceptive) job change.

    Can you turn it around? Sure. If you bump into her again, and demonstrate she was ‘wrong about you.’ Then you’ll fuck her and she’ll tell you that ‘you know, I’ve always been a bit curious about you’ or ‘there’s always been something about you’ even though there isn’t currently lol they retrofit that shit.

    Maybe check out the stuff I wrote about solipsism in ‘Solipsism I’ here, think I did a good job explaining some of the fundamental things girls do differently. All factors bleed into a single perception, there’s no calibration based on outlying factors and so on. She’s basing her actions upon a subconscious evaluation of the entire circumstance. Single ‘game’ factors can’t explain the holistic pattern. You need to back up and see the weave. If that makes any sense lol, I’m basically saying that didactic explainations won’t help you here, you need to have a different mindset about how you go about getting what you want. Want, calibrate, take. That’s all. Don’t negotiate. Negotiate is for men.

  48. From Forge:

    “Sounds like you were giving an impression of ‘chasing’ the girls a bit. That creates resentment. The impression to aim for is that you’re just being your usual self and the girls are chasing YOU. That’s dread and massive DHV.”

    Yup, you nailed it. In retrospect that’s a it what I was doing. SJF was correct as well, I drank too much. I was not focused and got sloppy in what I was doing. The gin played a big role in that. The comments about dread dynamics were good stuff and will need to keep that in mind moving forward. Practice and more focus….
    So while I did manage to piss her off, and I didn’t care, she reached out to me after ignoring her all day Sunday. Last night she asked to see me. When I eventually replied back told her sure but I was out shopping. She finds me at a big box retail store, was all kissy suck face happy to see me. I played grab ass and one point she pulls her stretch workout pants down quickly enough to show all her ass and says, “look, no panties. You like?”
    Was just about to finger her when someone walked by the aisle so I finished my biz and we left. Luckily she was not busted for indecent exposure. Both of us had to get back home so no parking lot sex. This morning she reaches out, not me, and asks to come see me before work. She shows up and within one minute I’ve got her ready for a quickie which she was more than happy to comply. Didn’t say a word, grabbed her, kissed her and lead her to my my bed. Bang bang, then we were off to work.

    While I botched my execution at the party the end result after ignoring her was that she went out of her way twice to see me, offered herself up as a sexual object as well as to please me this morning. I must be doing something right because even though I’m stepping on my dick with poor execution she is slurping it up with vigor.

  49. @roused

    Yeah, what you’re doing is WAY better than being a beta wallflower. It’s just if you perfect it you can get the desire w/o the shitty emotions. But hell, those shitty emotions/her thinking you’re an ass can be good for an OCCASIONAL spike. It just can’t be her day to day impression of you if you want her to stick around.

  50. @ Seraph

    This is about fixing stuff for the future, not worrying about the past. Don’t get hung up on this last broad. Don’t spend much any time thinking about her.

    Let’s talk about windows. Windows are brief periods of opportunity. When a woman walks up to you and shows massive interest, then you play it cool, she will feel like you’re a dud. You missed the window.

    There are things you can do to enlarge the window. Show massive demonstrations of value. One way to do that is to ask a broad you are at a club with to go to your vehicle with you. Have a plausible reason for her to go. That shows social calibration and respect for her ASD. Just asking her without a plausible reason tells her that you think of her as a slut. Of course, if you’re Alpha Rockbanddrummer, she might not care that you think of her as a slut.

    I asked two broads to go to my vehicle to drink some beer. One went and the other didn’t. Both broads chased me for months. So, my data points are two for two. The one who didn’t go actually chased me longer. It’s a big risk to ask a girl to go to your vehicle. That’s a demonstration of high value if you communicate that you expect her to go and simultaneously have ZFG if she doesn’t go.

    You get bonus high value points if you provide a fantasy. For one invitee, I told her that we’d be skipping out of school to drink beer, like kids did in high school. She was intrigued. We sneaked out of the bar and went and drank beer in my truck.

    Showing the social calibration to provide a plausible reason provides comfort. Comfort is essential when you invite a broad to take a risk like going to your vehicle with you.

  51. @Forge: yeah, I got a couple things that bother me around this time of year. Losing my brother is right up their along with the fact that my cousin (my other brother) is a great guy but I hardly see him. He’s totally whipped and stuck in the matrix.
    I just had a morning where somethng happened that happens to me all the time. This women (volunteer at a food bank) threw herself at me. She kino’d me. Made it abundantly clear she wanted to bone me. As usual I did nothing. Other guys would kill for this. If I could bottle this and sell it I’d be rich.
    It’s pretty hard to do this because I’ve been down before and I’ve seen how vicious and sadistic people can be. but I figure that If I get kicked again I’m prepared for it.
    Here goes: I have a female cat. got her over a year ago. she’s awesome but was very frightened when I got her. she’d spent 8 yrs walkng on eggshells around a tomcat. she would wake several times a day, several times, crying out in fear. at first i didnt even want to be close to her- to even touch her. about a month ago, after having her a year, i scratched her and found all the spots she loves to be scdatched. she has an exceptional temperment. when i trained and resocialized a rottweiler-I am really, really good with animals-she was afraid then shy then friendly. they would lie together. she never resented the huge time demands the rottie needed from me.
    basically, this amazing calico cat, betty, has helped me to work out some of the incredibly awful stuff I went through as a boy. my mom, aunts and grandmothers were all angry and violent.
    I’ve basically spent since 14 having women throwing themselves at me yet because of what I went through I’ve been unable to enjoy very little of what women have to offer. The damage that I received also led me to make really bad choices in women-most of the time-and to have this huge blind spot. To be honest, I’ve only started to piece it all together after I hit 40. I still prefer being alone. If I had a choice between a day with a beautiful women and a horse,I would pick the horse.
    Anyway, this shit eats away at me and every now and then something happens that brings this shit back up.
    I expect a few a-holes will take a cheap shot now so I’ll say this in advance: you’d never do it to my face.

  52. Emily
    “But apparently, the ONLY mark of success for you is how many sluts you can sleep with. Wow, it’s like we’re still in high school.”

    Speaking of high school, Emily, are you still cockteasing that poor sucker? The one you used to sex up, before you got religion? Did you set a marriage date yet, or did Daddy order you to finish your expensive but worthless degree first?

    We’re all here to help you, dearie.

  53. @ bob

    To be honest, I’ve only started to piece it all together after I hit 40.

    So what’s your self-improvement/life-improvement plan? Your female relatives sucked and mistreated you, so what are you doing about it?

  54. @Bob – I can relate to these childhood traumas deeply affecting our adult relationships and I commend you for speaking up about your suffering. I have a some questions before I can make any recommendations:

    – Do you have any diagnosable condition? PTSD? Anti-social personality issues?

    – Have you done any therapy or other form of treatment for what happened?

    My experience has been that revisualization therapy works very well for childhood traumas/abuse. I also use the Sedona Method to release negative emotions when they overwhelm me. But let me say that your issues sound serious and I think you would be helped first by getting a proper diagnosis from a compassionate, informed professional. I also think that therapy is important as a way to explore yourself with the help of a professional who can help you put your psychology in context. For me it was about self-awareness mostly, the rest of the talk therapy was pretty useless to be honest. Group therapy was very good as it brought up the shit that comes up in social situations in a safe(r) setting.

    As for animals, I get that is a great source of solace for you but also realize these are safe relationships and are not substitutes for human connection and love and support. I also get that you are hurting this time of year, for a long time Christmas was a sorrowful time of year for me too, as it reminds us of what we don’t have.

    if you wish to correspond, houndaround at the google mail thingy will reach me and I’d be glad to listen and share more with you. Keep sharing here, many other men suffer as you do but are not at the point where they can speak up about it.

  55. @Roused, Forge & SJF – Yeah, I get it now. It was the chasing that threw me off I saw it as too mean or something. Interesting how it spiked her though, good learning for me. Thanks for sharing it and all the break down guys.

  56. @asdgamer: I would respond by saying you’re an idiot but it’s clear that you lack certain capacities due to your autism. I’m familiar with autism as a close friend had an autistic grandson. I wouldn’t expect him-the grandson-to respond appropriately so I won’t expect it from you. Nevertheless, I’ll make an effort: enquiring about a persons ‘lifeplans’ when they just shared something that has haunted them for decades-and took a significant emotional risk btw-is inappropriate and emotionally obtuse. Also, its not relevant at this point. People grieve-something I know.a great deal about- and it is a process. I lost nearly every person I was close.to: granddad, brother, over a dozen friends. You’re the ki nd of.guy who says “who wants to go for ice.cream?” after the casket ia dropped into the ground, ie. you’re, due.to your autism, effectively, emotionally retarded.
    What’s the life plan for that?

  57. @ bob

    My life is a fucking bowl of cherries, lol. No income coming in yet but I’m working on my books. One kid shacked up in South Dakota and was taught better. Another has been emotionally distant. One friend doesn’t like the Red Pill me. Mrs. Gamer was shit-testing me today yet again. Money troubles. I came out of a five year depression. Was obese. Am old. Parents divorced when I was young. Parents both dead.

    You don’t hear me whining and offering excuses. Or daring people to knock the chip off my shoulder. Or trying to pick fights over stupid shit.

    Men need to get disgusted with their pussified condition and start on self-improvement.

  58. @Bob – ASD is who the scroll button on your mouse was designed for…As for all the losses, I too had a string of losses over six years, my mom, all my remaining grandparents, two aunts and two uncles, in my teens. It was like a death carnival and simply overwhelming emotionally. No friends though.

    Again, good for you for opening up. Many men here can and will help. As I opened up more, many guys here were very constructive and supportive. Also, sounds like you may have done some work, so take my suggestions as merely that. And also accept my compassion for all you’ve lost and your suffering, some of us are just lucky like that. I have found that it has made me uniquely able to understand the suffering of others, and also has me realize that too many of us suffer in silence. Sounds like you’ve had it with that.

  59. I was kind of thinking over the weekend about what society would look like where open relationships are the norm. So there’s really two outcomes I think. There’s the reality where very very few guys have game and then there’s my dream world where all men know that game exists, and spend a good portion of their lives to getting good at it. Regardless though we can always expect there to be a spectrum of value. Actually I think the only difference is in the latter case the median guy would get laid, while in the case of the former the median guy would NOT get laid.

    So the first class of open relationships would be the hypergamically satisfied. I think in this case these women would probably be able to lock down the total package for provider/sex. The guys would probably bang chicks on the side, while the girl most likely wouldn’t stray. I would say this is mutually beneficial.

    Then the second class would be where the chicks are in a relationship with a provider with game that wants kids. She could probably fuck a higher value than their provider guy occasionally while she wasn’t pregnant and still young. But that would turn more into a first class relationship as the woman aged. I would still call this one mutually beneficial.

    Third class would be non-relationship class. On the female side would be single moms (career, or on welfare) that bang on the side. I’m guessing this would end up being the largest class. Probably not a great thing for the economy. This is where monogamy starts to make sense assuming it would actually be followed.

    Then the fourth class would probably be provider guys with no game with that don’t get any chicks on the side while the chicks sleeps around. My guess is that this would eventually be a really small slice of the pie.

  60. @asdgamer: didn’t whine. not once. again, you are an emotional retard. from what I’ve seen, you offer very little. this forum seems to be where you come to tell awesome dance stories and give yourself pep talks about what a lady-killer you are.
    Now fuck off you pathetic little cunt.

    @scribblerg: appreciated. i’ve lurked a long time and I’ve been cottoning on to the fact that you, and certain others, are doing the work. that’s exactly what I want to do. it takes balls to put oneself out their-both here and in meatland. thanks for setting a good example and helping a brother out. respect

    @forge: thanks for prodding me. it helped me to help myself. i appreciate you giving a crap

  61. This comment in r/deadbedrooms shows how TRP can be presented without TRP lingo.

    The case is a 20+ passionless marriage for a nice guy. Part of the reply:

    Just imagine, the look on her face will be priceless when she realises that you pulled the ultimate revenge on her, when you cut her off from her free money supply. WRONG! She most likely will just hurl a bit more abuse at you and laugh in your face for taking it for so long, and you’ll just continue on to another relationship where you’ll be downtrodden and hen pecked again. Ego is going to be a big problem for you. Always tomorrow, always putting it off, always some excuse for why you are unable to do thing … find another nice guy to fill your place. Maybe 10 more. The world is full of them. Society produces them like a production line in a factory. … Old me would have tried to be the martyr, rubbing it in her face about how much I changed, how much better I became, blah blah. I didn’t do it for her, I did it for me. For my kids. I want my sons to know what a healthy relationship looks like. I want my sons to not make the same mistakes I made. My sons are cool, smart, handsome, but they will not grow up to be “nice guys” like their dad was.

    https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/3xpjmd/20_years_of_passionless_reset_sex_has_taken_its/cy6pqvh

  62. Ok, bob. I’m autistic. I’ve got a wife who’s into me and is a unicorn of sorts. A kid who still talks to me. Sort of what scribbler says that he wishes he had.

    Yeah, I’m clueless, obviously. You need to listen to scribbler. He’s the man with the plan.

    Are you just gonna wallow in self-pity, being haunted by shades of angry female relatives? Are you gonna let your female relatives’ malignant programming constrict your life and continue make you miserable? Enjoy playing the victim card over and over and over?

    If you realize that that’s been going on and don’t do something about it, then it’s no longer on your female relatives.

  63. @bob

    Recovering from abuse and violence is difficult, particularly when the source of it was women earlier in life. You feel like you’re going to face massive consequences merely for acting in your own self-interests, so long ago you stopped even thinking of what you want and acting on it. Your decisions are driven entirely by external authority. It hollows you out as a man.

    It’s hard to move from that long held default learned internal behavior to visualizing what you want then acting on it as a default instead. I know as it’s currently what I’m struggling heavily with. I can say the first step is developing as clear a picture as you can of what you want yourself and your life to look like, then acting on it. Counter intuitively the former is proving more difficult than the latter for me, largely due to long held negative internal views of myself that I’m still struggling to shake.

    The loss or permanent lack of support systems (due to death or abusive behavior) makes the whole process a lot harder. When you feel like nobody’s in your corner, it’s a lot harder to fight.

    I get where you’re coming from. It’s a lot to handle. Hell I’m personally frustrated by how long it’s taking me. Every time I feel like I should be over my past, some new bullshit crops up that’s related to it or somebody I thought would be good for my life disappears or turns in to a hindrance.

    Find good psychological help and good friends. Guys here can understand you and maybe float advice, but we can’t be there with you on the rough days when you need a punch in the arm and a good laugh. Ultimately we’re all humans that need real human contact to thrive.

  64. @Andy – Interesting but I see one problem with the scenario in which most guys game. That is the fact that women “aim up” – they are all after the top 20% and that is a relative measurement so there will always be a top 20% – in SMV, in game skills etc.

    I think what happens will look more like this. Beta men get less and less sex in general. Many resign from the game as the marrying/monogamy and trad values old world was about restraining female sexual agency and now that this is gone, more and more men are already opting out. I foresee this getting worse. I also see so many wrecked women, divorced and carousel riders now in their 30s who are not marriage material. They keep trying to pretend that “the one” is going to come along, but in fact, they are mostly just used and abused by alphas. Funnily, this class of woman (particularly the cock blind 30 somethings) are overtly hostile to Betas.

    Alpha dogs and good gamers will have most of the fun sex. I think this is already happening and hey, a top 20% guy can service many sluts. I’ve been following YaReally’s counsel and looking closely at the under 25 yo crowd – they literally are just not even bothering with boyfriends anymore for the most part. This is an acceleration of the cock carousel riding phenomenon and I think many such women will not be emotionally capable of changing lanes and being in LTRs or marriages successfully. The statistics on this are terrifying. As the number of partners a woman has increases, her chances of getting divorced skyrockets. Over 10 and you have very little chance of a marriage LTR surviving even 5 yrs.

    I see the ecology of society as most important. Women have figured out how to game the govt, corporations, non-profits etc to pay them for useless work or not working at all, which comes largely out productive/wealth creating activities men engage in. As an aside, I see many female entrepreneurs these days in startup land and the elephant in the living room that is not mentioned in the press? They suck at it – there is too much adversity. They don’t last and they are rarely successful at startups.

    My point? If we see a change in the ecology, women’s behavior will adapt. I think it’s almost unavoidable that we are heading for serious social disruption and financial chaos and a massive financial reset in the world, and this may have things change. When women can’t just vote themselves the excess wealth our societies produce, or con men into overpaying them for bullshit work, due to pressing material realities, many will see the wisdom in closing their legs and also treating provider type guys with at least a bit of respect. Many beta men would be okay with that, and getting obligation sex once a week and most women being faithful.

    Best part? Loudmouth bitches will shut up much more readily, and really, from that POV, I kind of can’t wait for the collapse to begin.

  65. Seriously, Rollo that ‘Planned Obsolescence’ article (and the articles linked there) kind of frightened me.

    Not that I’m afraid that sexbots will replace me one day (good luck w that) What struck me was that.. you guys essentially only deal with us because of sex. Nothing else is important to men, there is nothing else about females that you like.

  66. @Sun – This. “Counter intuitively the former is proving more difficult than the latter for me, largely due to long held negative internal views of myself that I’m still struggling to shake.”

    And this “Every time I feel like I should be over my past, some new bullshit crops up that’s related to it”

    Yep. That’s the neurology and biology. These pathways are grooved in. Releasing and revisualizing are my tools but my path is so fucking crooked I think I’m moving backwards half the time.

    Good to hear this from you, brother. How about we do a “wounded soul” Roundtable? I remember going to a “Triple Winners” AA meeting. This was one where you were an alcoholic yourself (not a term I use anymore), were the child of an alcoholic and also were physically and/or sexually abused. The first one I went to had me crying in 90 seconds…

    It’s funny how different people handle these kind of confessions/openings. SJF reminds me that he had a good, healthy upbringing and is really clear that he just can’t relate to my brokenness, but does so with compassion, not with any judgment. It’s so affirming to be heard and respected. He also hectors me on to overcome it, but realistically. Such men are a gift. Truly.

  67. As a personal aside, a few weeks back I started updating parts of my wardrobe I felt confident in picking. Casual stuff, mostly. Disposed of all my ancient t-shirts, leaving only a few for days I’m doing housework and such. Got rid of any stuff I didn’t think looked good.

    Replaced the t-shirts with far fewer more form fitting stuff, the jeans with darker pants. Updated my shoes to be a bit more stylish, grabbed a weathered black leather jacket with fake white fur lining and hoodie that looked nice. I’m still striking out while going out, but I’m starting to get more obvious IOIs and attention from HB5s. A couple HB5 late 30s chicks (probably HB7s when they were pre-Wall) made comments about “See? He’s cute” as I walked by out of the bar the other night. I would have turned and gamed, but I didn’t feel like inhaling their smoke so I just chuckled and kept walking. I don’t think it’s due to looking “richer” or anything, but I feel like I paid attention to how I look so I feel more confident walking in to places.

    Still trying to find somewhere I can consistently run in to attractive women, but building rapport with a couple places closer to home just so in the rare event there’s a hottie through I’ve got social proof to pull on. Still struggling with being too philosophical and not playful enough in conversation. I’m really really really bad at being in the moment.

    Overall I’d say there’s very slight progress, but progress nevertheless.

  68. “I think it’s almost unavoidable that we are heading for serious social disruption . . .”

    There will be no peace. Prepare for war brides.

  69. @Emily: “Not that I’m afraid that sexbots will replace me one day . . .”

    That would be redundant.

    “.. you guys essentially only deal with us because of sex.”

    Bring something else to the table that can’t be obtained elsewhere.

  70. @Emily, funny, that’s almost verbatim what Insanity wrote in the comments on that post.

    And since, like her, you’re too intellectually lazy to do any reading on my blog I’ll hold your hand (just like Insanity) and direct you to read this linked post in answer to your, once again, foolish and lethargic opinions:

    http://therationalmale.com/2014/07/15/separating-values/

    And for what it’s worth, if you believe men only find women’s sexuality of any real value, it’s primarily because under contemporary social circumstance, women don’t offer any, nor do they believe men merit any ‘value added’ benefits.

    http://therationalmale.com/2015/01/02/commodifying-love/

  71. @Sun – If you project higher value (more IOIs are evidence of this) you have to live up to that value by making them qualify to you more. More negging, teasing, paying attention to her friends, all activate the higher value vibe. I also see you focusing on your appearance more as a sign of increasing self esteem. I upgraded my casual wardrobe this year too.

  72. @Emily

    Not that I’m afraid that sexbots will replace me one day

    You have a shit attitude and you won’t put out. You’re utterly worthless to men. It’s inevitable they’ll replace you. Women as a whole is up to your sisters that aren’t as hopelessly lost as you yet.

  73. @RT-reading a book called the road to emotional maturity by D Abrahamsen. With your background in psychology, have you read this and what’s your opinion? You may find ch 9 particularly interesting, and a possible source for future articles.
    Stay sharp

  74. @scribblerg

    Yeah, that’s the lack of playfulness I’m referring to. I come across as too serious. If your teasing isn’t playful, you’re just written off as bitter.

  75. @bob

    Holy shit man, you’ve been through the grinder. Thanks for putting it out there, this is the kinda thing that usually goes unsaid.

    I haven’t been through anything like as much as you. But I had one or two things back when that I just shut up about for a long time, and when I finally talked about it it was like pulling teeth. Could hardly get the words out. So I know a bit what an effort it can be.

    Incidentally the one I talked to was Glenn (ScribblerG), if ya want to talk to a guy you can trust him.

    It sounds like you don’t have many people left you can trust. Finding other men you can trust or rely on doesn’t just happen on the fly. You have brothers and you have a few close friends if you’re lucky. If you don’t have that…..

    A man doesn’t feel like there’s a place in the world for him.

    Pussy is small recompense, ha. It just shows – given any luxury, you still won’t be happy without a core that can enjoy it.

    I’m glad you found animals to be of help. Lesser men would use hard drugs.

    Women are very drawn to men who have survived hellish conditions. They’re the ones who won’t flinch when shit hits the fan. Too many men now would cry over a broken X-Box.

    But that doesn’t offer much comfort I suppose. Ha.

    You’re here, man. That’s something. My emails out there if ya wanna talk, but I’m just some naive boy compared to you. I have a great family, friends, no-one close to me has died except a grandfather. I’m fucking lucky.

  76. @Sun – I’ve observed that I play the “qualify with me bitch” game with late 30s women reflexively. It’s because I have no doubt they are wrecked and useless as anything but cum dumpsters for the short term, and even at that, are so much less attractive the say Giselle, the 20 yr old I’ve been gaming at the local cafe that I get I’m the prize for them.

    Maybe you should try gaming some of those types to practice making them qualify for you?

  77. As for women having no value other than sex, I don’t see it that way. I have two sisters who understand how to be good women to me and for whom I’m their dominant, supportive brother. I also find some women very interesting to talk to, but sadly they are not common.

    With respect to intelligence, most women are of two varieties:

    – Like Emily, having accessed a bit of knowledge they then assume that nobody else has read a few books, lol. She can get back to me when she passes 1.000 books, she’ll at least be in my ballpark. Women like Emily are so impressed with themselves, it’s ridiculous. I find social justice warriors and feminists to be much the same. I tell them things like Bette Friedan beat her husband, was a communist writer for a communist paper and had live in help to care for her children, all paid for by her successful husband. Facts confound them, but don’t slow them down. Witness Emily’s half-smart commentary on this thread, perfect example.

    – Women who don’t bother to learn anything and presume their superiority based on nothing at all.They are the ones who say “I don’t do politics” or roll their eyes when you bring up economic facts or history.

    But there are some who aren’t intellectually ruined. Take Lis and LeeLee on this site, these are women who’ve taken the time to develop their minds and ideas and engage in thoughtful conversations. Unfortunately, such women are becoming rarer and rarer.

    And most women aren’t worth fucking either…

  78. I love Emily’s statement about her BF not really using his computer that much, lol. You know when Emily isn’t around he’s using Chrome in incognito mode and thrashing himself to Gagaholics. I just hope he doesn’t find that amateur vid of Emily choking on the HS quarterback’s junk…That will set him back a bit.

  79. @Emily: You had the epiphany: “. . . you guys essentially only deal with us because of sex.”
    .
    Don’t take it personally—man the tool maker has no need of a “helpmeet” and that’s just fine. Contemporary women are so caught up in “the problem with no name” they have nothing of value to offer beyond an ONS.

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