Acing the Test

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One of the first observations formal PUAs had when they were testing and refining their methods was that of the now ubiquitous shit tests women would present them with. It’s important to put this testing dynamic into context because, as most any guy who’s ever made an approach will tell you (not just PUAs) there comes a stage in that approach when a girl will set up a challenge for a guy. However, as any married man will tell you, that’s not where the shit tests end.

Over the holidays I was hanging out with my brother and watching my niece and nephew interact. My nephew is 16 and his sister is a very mature 12, but to see them interact, it’s one shit test after another. There’s the fluid teasing and taunting that comes from siblings that genuinely like each other (well, mostly), but as I watch these two interact I thought back to how my brother and I used to give each other shit, smack each other around and basically roughhouse like boys used to be able to do before a feminine-primary society decided they needed to be medically sedated for their ‘condition’.

I’ve explored this in Amused Mastery, but there’s a natural flow that’s learned between an older brother and a younger sister (or sometimes a capricious younger brother to an older sister) that translates to an intersexual relating with men and women later in adulthood. My brother is very conventionally masculine, a somewhat natural Alpha in his mindset, and his positive masculine frame carries over into his role as a father. This sets the environment in which his son and daughter are learning intertersexual interactions with one another. Both are very headstrong, but also respectful in a way that only a positively male dominant father can inspire.

I bring this up because I feel this learning illustrates both the problem most men later have with shit tests as well as the key to capitalizing on them.

No Passing

You’ll notice I didn’t say ‘pass’ the shit test. I think it’s a misnomer to view shit tests as a pass or fail proposition. Most men like that easy binary win-lose proposition, but the problem I have with that is that ‘passing’ a shit test implies finality. You will always be shit tested by a woman, so you never really pass that test, however you can and should turn those tests to your advantage.

Many a well meaning Red Pill woman (and a few Purple Pill ‘life coaches’) who don’t like offending the delicate sensibilities of today’s virtuous women like to call these tests ‘fitness’ tests. The renaming sprays a bit of perfume on an otherwise unflattering aspect of women’s Hypergamous psyches, but under that scent is the same truth,…

Women’s shit testing is a psychologically evolved, hard-wired survival mechanism. Women will shit test men as autonomously and subconsciously as a men will stare at a woman’s big boobs. They cannot help it, and often enough, just like men staring at a nice rack or a great ass, even when they’re made aware of doing it they’ll still do it. Men want to verify sexual availability to the same degree women want to verify a masculine dominance / confidence.

I think the early PUAs were correct in calling these test ‘shit tests’ because the nature of those tests they met in their field approaches were very much like the ‘shit’ they’d given and been given by their male peers throughout much of their lives. Part of the male experience is giving your friends ‘shit’, ribbing them, messing with them and otherwise talking ‘shit’ with them. If you’re in a fantasy football league you probably get that “smack talking” has been raised to an art form.

In this context it’s not so much a fitness test as it is a form of male-specific camaraderie – if it’s a test of anything it’s a test for the social intelligence that a guy gets that his friend is giving him ‘shit’ and can laugh about it and give as good as he got. This is part of men’s preferred overt form of communication which baffles women unfamiliar with it; if I’m playfully insulting you, if I’m messing with you, it means I consider you a friend and I expect that you’ll ‘just get it’ that you know this when I do.

Sadly this is often the first offense women take when they insert themselves into Male Spaces. They take the ‘shit talk’ personally, or at the very least have to make an effort (they believe they shouldn’t have to) to communicate in the open, often vulgar, but no less meaningful ways men do. Unless they were raised in the increasingly rare household of a strong masculine influence (fathers or brothers) it’s likely these women won’t “just get it” and bend their efforts to change that communication to something she’s more comfortable with, and something her feminine-primary expectations convince her is correct.

Getting the Test

Even if you had the benefit of having your bratty sister punch you in the arm after teasing her you may not realize this is a form of shit testing you. One of the most important aspects of dealing with a shit test is understanding the basic fundament of Just Getting It:

She want’s you to ‘get it’ on your own, without having to be told how. That initiative and the experience needed to have had developed it makes you a Man worth competing for. Women despise a man who needs to be told to be dominant. Overtly relating this to a guy entirely defeats his credibility as a genuinely dominant male. The guy she wants to fuck is dominant because that’s ‘the way he is’ instead of who she had to tell him to be.

Observing the process will change it. This is the root function of every shit test ever devised by a woman. If masculinity has to be explained to a man, he’s not the man for her.

A woman wants to know a guy Just Gets It, but she still needs a method to determine that he does – ergo she shit tests. For women, this method must be in as covert a form as possible to protect the integrity of not exposing her own sexual strategy to herself.

When openly analyzed this seems like madness to men’s striving for a rational solution to a problem, but her method comes from a subconscious want of not having to convince her hindbrain that he does in fact get it – and gets it so well that he neither acknowledges it overtly nor asks for her assistance in figuring her shit test out.

Observing and / or explicating a process will change that process, and a woman’s Hypergamous hindbrain knows this.

From Plate Theory VI:

Essentially a shit test is used by women to determine one, or a combination of these factors:

a.) Confidence – first and foremost
b.) Options – is this guy really into me because I’m ‘special’ or am I his only option?
c.) Security – is this guy capable of providing me with long term security?

I would also add that these requisites imply a testing for masculine dominance as well as his sexual market value. Women want a man that other women want to fuck, and other men want to be. The conflict inherent in women’s shit testing is that she must simultaneously determine a man has other sexual options than her while also attempting to limit those option and making herself his primary focus.

There’s always been some debate as to whether women are unaware of their subconscious shit testing or if those tests come from a fully aware and deliberate intent. I understand the rational want of men to hold women’s feet to the fire and accept a personal responsibility for their action – shit tests naturally seem like a huge waste of time, not to mention duplicitous and false to men who value straight-talk solutions – but I’m going to argue that these tests are both intentional and subconscious depending on the context in which she delivers a shit test.

However, whether intended or not, it’s more important for guys to get that a woman’s testing is rooted in her inherent Hypergamous uncertainty. And that uncertainty extends to both the Alpha Fucks and Beta Bucks aspects of her Hypergamy. Women’s doubt of a man’s Hypergamous suitability is a constant, though subconscious effect for her.

Active Testing

When a woman actively, consciously, shit tests you, understand that it is always intentional. This type of shit test is the most common one PUAs encounter in the clubs or whatever their preferred venue may be. With the exception of maybe Day Game, women in these arenas are expecting men to sarge them, and therefore the propensity to deliver a prepared shit test is a conscious decision on her part. For the most part these tests amount to a fun game for her that serve the purpose of determining a guy’s SMV and his Hypergamy optimization potential.

An active test is entertainment to her in the same way it is for a bratty sister and her older brother. There’s usually a lot of witty (hopefully on your part) push-pull to this shit test exchange, but the latent purpose is her subconscious probing you for the possibility that you might ‘get it’ – that you might be able to play the game rather than having to explain it to her or having it explained to you.

As I’ve stated before, a woman who is into you wont confuse you, but a lot of men (particularly overly conditioned Betas) come to believe that any impropriety on his part might be taken as an offensive so they never boldly push back on these test as they should. They fall back on the “Yes M’Lady” white knight script they believe will set them apart from “other guys”, but the guys who ‘get it’ aren’t confused by shit tests. A big brother hits his bratty sister back when they’re play fighting; not so much as to harm her, but just enough to show her who’s stronger, who’s in control of his situation and isn’t afraid to push her back.

If a woman is not testing you in an environment where she could reasonably be expected to actively be doing so, she doesn’t have the interest in you to do so. A lot of men mistake a woman’s “Bitch Shield” as a cue of disinterest or disgust, when in fact these are often calculated shit tests. There are many ways to push past a Bitch Shield for a guy with the brass (and interest) to do so, but it’s a woman’s indifference, not her poised contempt, that cues disinterest.

Active tests are what single men are most likely to encounter in women, and it’s important for these men to understand that this type of test isn’t something you pass, but rather something you capitalize on. For a guy with even a basic grasp of Game these test should be considered nothing but softballs for him to hit out of the park.

Things to remember are Amused Mastery, Command Presence, Agree & Amplify and a basic Cocky & Funny ambience while employing them. I should also add that women deliberately putting themselves into social environments (like a club) who are delivering active shit test are likely at the ovulation point of their Estrus phase – adjust your Game (and birth control methods) accordingly.

If you recognize that you’re being actively shit tested always remember, play with her, and play with her. Shit tests of this nature are opportunities to build attraction as well as arousal, and women want you to get that they are opportunities.

Passive Testing

While active testing is done in awareness with intent by a woman (with only a passing element of her subconsciously doing so), a passive shit test is a reflexive, subconscious test rooted in a woman’s Hypergamous insecurities. In an active test, the latent purpose is one of playfully determining Hypergamous optimization of a new prospective mate. A passive test is rooted in the Hypergamous doubt that a woman’s choice to settle with that man was in fact the best optimization her SMV could afford her.

Passive testing always asks the question that her nagging, hindbrain Hypergamy can’t give a voice to, “Did I make the right choice? Is this guy really the Alpha I thought he was or could be?’

Passive testing is constantly exacerbated or defined by her previous sexual experiences (or lack thereof) or the fantasies of what could be if her circumstances were to change. For women, this is the mental space where the Alpha Widow dynamic is harbored. This is a where the subconscious testing of the man whom she consolidated monogamy with meets her unconscious comparing of him with her past, idealized experiences – or the experiences she believes could be possible if she could determine his suitability for her.

For the most part these tests are ones of measuring his performance and provisioning capacity against his Alpha tingles generating capacity. Passive tests are insidious in that they need a satisfaction of so many Hypergamous elements: Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks, the outperforming of past or fantasized sexual competitors, pushback masculine dominance, status, and many other prerequisites of long term Hypergamous optimization.

As you’ll probably guess the passive test is usually reserved for marriages and LTRs (live in arrangements being common). Any woman not familiar enough with you wont give you a passive test, however you might get one from your mother or a close female relative who needs some reassurance from you (or wants to put you in your place as a Beta). Passive tests seem to be the most hurtful, but it’s important to predict when they’ll come, what’s triggered them and the root insecurity behind them that women either aren’t consciously aware of or can’t openly reveal because, once again, it ruins the game and her determining if you ‘just get it’ without being told.

As with active tests demonstration, not explication, is the key to resolving and capitalizing on them. These are the types of tests that aggravate most men because they generally feel they’re locked into solving them. Thus, they make grandly overt affairs of bringing a woman’s ‘bull shit’ to light in an effort to quell her insecurities, but also to feel like they’re reasonably holding her personally accountable for her “stupid shit testing”.

And as with most similar efforts, appealing to a woman’s reason never ‘solves’ her problem. Hypergamy doesn’t reason, Hypergamy only feels. Demonstrating you get what she’s doing will help you capitalize on her insecurities far more than explicating that you know what she’s doing by shit testing you.

You’ll probably have guessed that passive tests are most commonly generated while a woman is in the luteal phase of her menstrual cycle, but it when that insecurity relates to her partner’s Alpha suitability there is some crossover into her proliferative phase. It’s important for married men to determine the nature of his wife’s insecurity with regard to her tests and when they’re most commonly delivered.

If she’s testing you at or around her ovulatory window, if she’s regularly insisting on a Girls Night Out around this time (yes, it’s a shit test), if she’s not sexually interested in you during her estrus, it’s likely she’s uncertain about your Alpha Fucks suitability to her. If her tests come during her luteal phase, if she’s nagging or provoking you about money, emotional availability or even how she wants to live closer to her parents, it’s likely her insecurity is based on her perception of your status, provisioning capacity or your Beta Bucks potential to make more of it.

While these types of shit tests based on Hypergamous insecurity may seem like a lost cause, understand that many of the same techniques used to capitalize on active tests still apply. Not all passive tests are delivered in the negative, and applications like Command Presence and Agree & Amplify demonstrate to a woman that you get it, that you see her tests for what they are, and you’re prepared for them without revealing the game you both know you’re playing.

Even well timed Amused Mastery (after you’ve established mastery of her) is enough to defuse a shit test with potentially negative implications. Once the precedence of your mastery is set it’s an easy fallback she’ll expect from you.

Granted, there are more direct ways of demonstrating your optimization to her – staying in better shape than she’s in is an obvious one, casually emphasizing passive dread (a.k.a. married social proof) is another – but the important part is recognizing what aspect of her Hypergamy is generating that insecurity.

In closing here I feel it’s incumbent upon me to address the most obvious response most guys will have to all of this: “Fuck that, I’m not dealing with her shit, just don’t get married, just don’t put up with it, just go your own way, call her on her bullshit” to which I’ll say, “yeah, you’re right, it makes more sense just to disconnect entirely”.

It would be great if women could be relied upon to be rational, reasonable agents as most would like men to believe they are. I mean, they should be, right? You should just simply be able to say to a girl or your wife “Hey I know all the games your playing and why you’re playing them, so lets just drop all of the pretentiousness and get down to fucking and living, OK?” But all this amounts to is negotiating for her genuine desire. Real desire on a woman’s part never comes from rational, reasonable explanations of why she should desire you, it comes from your demonstrations and your example.

Even the men who rule their women with an iron fist will still deal with women’s tests directly or indirectly without even realizing they’re doing so.

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Sun Wukong
Sun Wukong
6 years ago

But is there a parallel that women should Just Get despite being told otherwise?

I’d say no, but it’s because they’re not supposed to be the dominant role. When dominance is established, other people (regardless of sex) tend to fall in to line. It’s therefore only necessary for the men in her life to “Just Get It”. If you lead, they will follow.

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

Wow, I didn’t know that wouldn’t show. I typed:

[ sarcasm ]

text text text

[ /sarcasm ]

Sun Wukong
Sun Wukong
6 years ago

@Softek

She’s a princess, you know.

FTFY.

Badpainter
Badpainter
6 years ago

Softek – “Learn how to do dishes and cook…”

Good advice inspite of the surrounding satire. I know very few women under the age of 50 who can cook. Most should be banned from the kitchen. Also, given the high risk of a woman claiming some form of veganism it’s imperative a man be able to cook if he wants to eat food and not the shit that vegans try to pass off as food.

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ Sun

Ty

Idk how to change text. Let me try.

She’s a [b]princess[/b], you know.

princess

princess

princess

Okay, let me post and see if it worked. But if I type “princess” one more time I’m going to have to end my life

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

429 comments later, the solution to the conundrum of women’s shit tests is the self-Jedi mind trick “there is no conundrum”. A woman doesn’t view a man’s job as passing her shit test, or ignoring her test either. She views his job as him just doing what he wants to do. She *requires* him to not have to conform to any of her requirements.

Badpainter
Badpainter
6 years ago

Re: Jedi mind tricks Obviously I’ve been doing it all wrong. My zero tolerance for unnecessary feminine bullshit has always caused my to give up and walk away. Pussy isn’t worth it. Pussy isn’t worth it. Maybe it would be if there a good chance,say 4 in 5, of sex being a more gratifying experience than self abuse. Maybe if women had anything to offer but mere sex. Maybe if they were capable of commitment. Maybe if there were a chance of actually winning the game, instead just getting to play it over and over. Maybe if there ever any… Read more »

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

@Badpainter, re: “Maybe if women had anything to offer but mere sex.” The funny thing is that several threads are converging / have converged recently. The one big difference between the physical presence of a postively responsive woman and, er, either nonphysical or nonpresent or negatively or nonresponsive or nonwoman was the manz’ feelz of twain-becoming-one and I’m-In-Love-With-Us. But with assisted reproductive technologies and recipes for feeling the love, any rational person has to conclude that the window of opportunity for women to prove their worthwhileness to men is closing rapidly. In the not-too-distant future, what would be the point… Read more »

Sun Wukong
Sun Wukong
6 years ago

“given the high risk of a woman claiming some form of veganism”

Veganism in and of itself is a massive massive MASSIVE red flag. I’ve never met a self-professed “vegan” that wasn’t dangerously loopy. They don’t live in reality. I seriously think it should be considered a symptom of all manner of psychological problems. Like the DSM-VI needs to go ahead and create a listing for it.

horrenbrand
6 years ago

true that 🙂

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

If indeed, as now seems blindingly self-evident, the female’s role is to resist (NOT select) the male and the male’s role is to overcome resistance, what indeed is the female FOR in a future of controlled reproduction? The male can be wanted for his overcomingness and be given a shovel and made to overcome a pile of dirt, or be given a rock and made to overcome ballistic trajectories to hit a tree. But who really wants *any* beings for the purpose of their resistingness?

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

@Badpainter, re: “Maybe if women had anything to offer but mere sex.”

Part 2. You mean you aren’t excited by a woman’s “challenges”? You don’t admire the texture and odor of her shit tests?

Badpainter
Badpainter
6 years ago

Re: Part 2

No.

Badpainter
Badpainter
6 years ago

Re: challenges

A challenge is worth the effort if there is reward attached. A woman’s challenge is only rewarded with another challenge.

Smashing Pumkins summed it up best: “despite all my rage I still just a rat in a cage”

sfcton
6 years ago

“Next time you’re in WalMart take a casual count of all the women you think you could military press.”….fuck… I overhead press 325……

use to say never date a woman who weighs more then I can curl but now its never date a women who weighs more then I can one arm overhead press

I was talking about the women and being domestic thing earlier in the week

https://tonsplace.wordpress.com/2015/01/14/more-musings-on-random-man-o-sphere-comments/

Tam the Bam
Tam the Bam
6 years ago

“@softek not for nothing but getting 135lbs of giggling, floppy girl over your head takes a lot more strength than it does to press a barbell” To be all Sidney Serious about it, I was finally getting around to unstrapping some sheets of OSB (the stuff that looks like a giant knackebrod) off the roof-rack yesterday, as the storms had died down somewhat and the thaw meant they were getting soaked. Shit or get off the pot time, as the next bunch of crap Canadian/Greenlandic weather was on its way and I’d have to crack them off with a pinch… Read more »

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

All right, everyone fucking criticizing me over the “giggling, floppy girls” over my head. I knock them out first. Obviously. I’m not retarded enough to press a conscious girl over my head. They don’t need to be conscious anyway when I rope them to the hood of my car. Every time I’ve picked up a girl at Wal-Mart like this and took off down the highway, whoever the state cop was that day would let me go because they thought the poor girl was a bloated deer. “Yes officer, just hit it right when I was getting off the exit,… Read more »

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

So, if a guy aces one little piggie’s single shit test by exhibiting Just Getting It by blowing her house down with his requisite Dominance, does he get an A++ for all shit tests across all eternity by exhibiting Just Getting All Of Everything by real-time deriving the Feminine Imperative itself from the mere idea of sexual conflict (plus the observed fact of females’ shit testing of males which thereby empirically fixes the parity of any putative theoretical involution)? Probably not, even though he should. Probably the little piggies will just rebuild their strawed mounds as if nothing happened.

Ang Aamer
6 years ago

Interesting debate here but about SHIT TESTS I believe that it is a false proposition stating that female shit tests are Pass/Fail, True/False. I would humbly suggest that women are NOT testing for correct answers. They are in fact seeking to eliminate suitors who consistently give WRONG ANSWERS. (Beta Bucks Answers) To me men give women too much credit. Women go around asking and testing… but men never consider the idea… “Hey! maybe they are illogical graders TOO!” In PUA lingo we say “never give a female a straight answer”. But men don’t consider the implications of this advice. The… Read more »

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

@Ang Amer, re: “They are in fact seeking to eliminate suitors”

The central idea of sexual conflict is that what females do is reject. A male doesn’t really get selected; she simply fails to resist him.

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

LOL at all the women complaining about “having” to reject so many men.
http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2015/01/16/377239011/by-making-a-game-out-of-rejection-a-man-conquers-fear

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

@Ang Amer, re: “Women go around asking and testing… but men never consider the idea… “Hey! maybe they are illogical graders TOO!””

Well, we all knew they were irrationally “selecting” the “wrong” men, i.e. the bad men for which there would be bad outcomes of resisting.

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

Read it and … weep? smirk?
“I don’t give advice to men who want to know how to approach women. …If a guy isn’t having luck meeting and dating women, maybe there’s a reason. Why help him pretend to ACT less unsuitable …? That’s not doing other women any favors.”
http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2015/01/16/377239011/by-making-a-game-out-of-rejection-a-man-conquers-fear#comment-1796172740

Rollo, please take a bow.

sfcton
6 years ago

I remember when I overhead pressed 235… I was embarrassed it was only. I wanted 365 Not sure there is a standard for “elite” in overhead pressing but I reckon elite would start at body-weight plus 100 pounds. As a man who has pressed girls over head,s he has to do her part. Dancer/ gymnast chick isn’t to hard. They can balance themselves and hold their body rigid enough you don’t bleed off force into soft flesh. A girl who is willing is difficult because she shifts around and what not. Did that for an in house commercial for a… Read more »

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

What we called elsewhere the Path 2 to mating, a non beta-bux situation in which the female takes a while to warm up fully during which the male has to prove himself and/or prove his love, is easily seen as merely a prolonged form of female resistance. And if the male falls in love then she feels victorious. But if the male does not fall in love then she feels cheated/defeated. She hates herself for being too unwily or too unfeminine to provoke his love more than she hates herself for having sex without love. She even hates herself for… Read more »

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

So, then, Pretend Vulnerability Game is the worst possible strategy for a male, and therefore is extremely rare. If a man is good enough to pull off Vulnerability as game, then he’d succeed much much faster and more directly through Invulnerability i.e. Dominance Game.

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

But all women *think* Pretend Vulnerability would work, which is why they despise vulnerable men. This thinking of women is exploitable; an obvious exploit is Pretend Pretend Vulnerability (winking and smirking). But rather than talking about male techniqies for smashing female resistances, I’m going to try to think about reasons why women are hard-wired to erroneously believe in the efficacy of fake Vulnerability.

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

Hmm. No, it’s not projection. Or rather, it’s not *just* projection.

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

Dark Triad anyone? Heh.

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

Hmm. Male resistance to exhibiting vulnerability is the single biggest topos in all of women’s literature and all of women’s fantasies. In reality, obviously we know betas are all too willing to be vulnerable and to commit at the drop of a hat. So women *don’t* actually want males that are vulnerable; women want themselves to *wish* a male were vulnerable but he resists. Females don’t want to be able to easily mentally penetrate a male’s brainz to make him fall in love; females want a male to force their brain-penetrating to be hard. Females like the struggle, the conflict.… Read more »

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

All of the modernization of culture promoting females is for the purpose of convincing males to be more vulnerable. It’s deeper and more ingrained than any theme in recent decades of making women physically sluttier. You may have noticed that theme, a time or two … But trying to make men emotionally sluttier is much more widespread.

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

So, here we are again. 100% all of our inculturization process as males is for the purpose of attempting to reduce our personal Dominance so that we would be less successful in reproducing if we gave in to that process. It’s all a giant shit test.

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

And … that’s it. There aren’t any more levels to this. The hall of mirrors is a fun house, but there is nothing behind the mirrors.

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

Presumably now is the time to explore Jeremy’s question of when and how to display tumescence.

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

Here is a trick question. Should I choose a male or female pseudonym for my already completed romance novel?

Glenn
Glenn
6 years ago

@jf12 – Is this true? Women’s selection criteria are more elastic/plastic/dynamic than men’s, right? Sure, we all are driven by context, social, ecological and otherwise, but women are more opportunistic because of their costs of reproduction – ‘men have one million 1 dollar shots, she’s got ten 100,000 dollar shots’. I mean, doesn’t this also explain why fitness tests/shit tests are ongoing? They want to keep testing as a way of ensuring the best selection. Maybe part of this has evolved because women have figured out that men can fake them out, so ongoing shit tests are a way to… Read more »

Glenn
Glenn
6 years ago

@ jf12 – From the hysterical movie, “As Good As it Gets”. The character Jack Nicholson plays is a successful writer of romance novels, Melvin Udall. When visiting his publisher, he has this encounter with the receptionist: Receptionist: I can’t resist! You usually move through here so quickly and I just have so many questions I want to ask you. You have no idea what your work means to me. Melvin Udall: What does it mean to you? Receptionist: [stands up] When somebody out there knows what it’s like… [place one hand on her forehead and the other over her… Read more »

Dr. Jeremy
6 years ago

@ jf12 And … that’s it. There aren’t any more levels to this. The hall of mirrors is a fun house, but there is nothing behind the mirrors. Yep. At the fundamental level, you are either gaming or you are getting gamed – whether you realize it or not. That’s it… The rest is just various levels of detail of how and why the game is played. Or, as Rollo puts it in his very first rule… Iron Rule of Tomassi #1 – Frame is everything. Always be aware of the subconscious balance of who’s frame in which you are… Read more »

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

@DrJ, re: “Yep. At the fundamental level, you are either gaming or you are getting gamed – whether you realize it or not.”

Almost yep. Gaming is a way for an individual man to more covertly slip past rejection from women without as much societal blowback to him as there would be if he overtly dominated women. Overt domination being along the lines of “your No means the same to me as your Yes”.

Sun Wukong
Sun Wukong
6 years ago

@Glenn The first time I saw that moment, Nicholson delivered the line so well I suspected he meant it. Even in my BP days I found myself saying “You know, he’s got a point…” after I stopped laughing. Looking back at it through TRP lens now, the funniest part of that movie is that he did all that work just to game a single mom. Not worth it, bro. Not worth it. @Dr J I think that’s been one the hardest truths of the world to integrate in to my social interaction. I’ve found that it applies with the vast… Read more »

Mr Gold
Mr Gold
6 years ago

this is pure gold, dont be a beta, your advise is really good

https://biggerbaddergentleman.wordpress.com/2015/01/17/how-to-have-fuck-buddies-and-uncomitted-relationships/

Brody
Brody
6 years ago

jf12 “Gaming is a way for an individual man to more covertly slip past rejection from women without as much societal blowback to him as there would be if he overtly dominated women. Overt domination being along the lines of “your No means the same to me as your Yes”. Let’s see if we have this clear, jf12: Overt domination as you see it means rape (“your No means the same to me as your Yes”). Gaming then is a more “socially acceptable” way to force sex on an unwilling woman (rape her, not mincing words), without the ugly consequences… Read more »

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

@Brody, re: “Congratulations”

I am awesome, ain’t I. You’re free to express yet more admiration.

zdr01dz
6 years ago

@ Dr. Jeremy
http://www.attractiondoctor.com/

I went to your site and McAfee spit out a dangerous site warning. I have no doubt that your site is legit but for whatever reasons McAfee flagged it. You may want to contact them.

“Whoa! Are you sure you want to go there?

http://attractiondoctor.com/ may be risky to visit.”

Badpainter
Badpainter
6 years ago

@ Brody

Are you being satirical? Really, I can’t tell.

Sun Wukong
Sun Wukong
6 years ago

@Brody

How’s that mangina working out for you?

Dr. Jeremy
6 years ago

@ zdro1ds

Thanks brother. I will look into it and let you know when it is clear.

In the meantime, you can find my stuff at:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor

zdr01dz
6 years ago

@ Dr. Jeremy
Right on, goes through perfect on Psychology Today.

Which Halloween Costumes are Sexy and Attractive?

My Vote: Sexy, Roman or Greek slave girl/maiden outfit wins by a MILE! hehehe

Softek
Softek
6 years ago

@ Glenn Well, if I think back on it I have, plenty of times, just never followed through to the point of closing….but the important thing is that now I have no excuses not to try that shit with girls. And try it a lot. Apparently I’m a man of many talents. I’m not only funny, I’m a former champion Hog Wrangler. Should’ve told that girl after she told me to “grow a pair” – hey honey, you gotta give me credit for being the first guy you’ve been with to last more than 5 minutes under your belly without… Read more »

New Yorker
New Yorker
6 years ago

The only way to be happy in life and with women is to enjoy performing and make that a core part of yourself. If it is a “burden” then one will always look for shortcuts and will be worn out by it. The only way is to enjoy the daily struggle to get better and thrive in all of its forms. Then, no shit test will be relevant for you as you will be too focused on performing for yourself and the woman will likely see less reason to shit test in the first place.

Badpainter
Badpainter
6 years ago

New Yorker – “The only way to be happy in life…”

…Is too be perfect. If you’re not perfect you don’t deserve to be happy. The perfect is not the enemy of the good, it is the good. BTW your perfection, or lack of, is defined externally. Your own opinion of yourself is both worthless and a distraction from being perfect the eyes of others.

New Yorker
New Yorker
6 years ago

This is not about perfection but I think a fundamental belief in your life force and wanting to use it to expand your life in every way. If you think about it this way, performance is just the only way that you can live your life. It is not a burden. Just a state of constantly trying to be better because life is richer that way. The feminine shit test is always there but quickly goes away if it sees you focused on performing and not paying it any real heed.

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

@New Yorker, re: “The only way to be happy in life and with women is to enjoy performing”

Ok, but I’ll fix it. The only way for a male to be happy as a male in life, and to be happy with females, is to enjoy overcoming the females’ resistance to the reproductive process.

New Yorker
New Yorker
6 years ago

@JF12

Yes, learning to enjoy overcoming the world’s resistance to the life you want for yourself is the key. The feminine’s sometimes odd behavior is a part of that.

gaikokumaniakku
6 years ago

“Every group of guys I’ve ever socialized with, giving each other shit is steady if not constant. If there isn’t shit, there’s tension, and not the good kind of tension either.”

In every group of guys I’ve socialized with, shit tests lead to physical violence.

All this talk about dominance testing being perpetual seems to be true for extremely non-violent men. With violent men, dominance often is a question of who hits whom.

Sun Wukong
Sun Wukong
6 years ago

@New Yorker

The only way to be happy in life and with women is to enjoy performing and make that a core part of yourself.

i.e. Internalizing the Alpha. This is much harder than it sounds when you’ve spent your whole life listening to people who told you to nurture the beta.

Sun Wukong
Sun Wukong
6 years ago

@gaiko In every group of guys I’ve socialized with, shit tests lead to physical violence. Sounds like you’ve been around shitty examples of friends. I have a group that the last time we were together, we wound upwatching two guys at a time wrestling in the back yard after some good-natured ribbing. Thing is, the matches were all good-natured as well. Just guys having fun without female interference. Of course these were guys that weren’t non-violent. All gun owners, all having trained in martial arts at some point. The shit tests were genuinely hilarious too. There was one moment when… Read more »

NNJ
NNJ
6 years ago

Women are modern day Eves. Eve became an agent of Satan to entrap the then unfallen Adam .

See below for an article on Jezebel to get an idea:

https://www.biblegateway.com/resources/all-women-bible/Jezebel-No-1

sfcton
6 years ago

I earn my pay with a rifle in places like Iraq and Afghanistan. Shit talking is endless inculding during fire fights. Soooooo dude you are wrong as two boys fucking.

sfcton
6 years ago
Reply to  Rollo Tomassi

Yea Rollo that’s pretty spot on

Strange dude talks shit and he gets hurt, but it isn’t the same for one of your crew. In fact it’s a sign of how tight you are not to mention a test of mental quickness and stress reduction

sjfrellc
sjfrellc
6 years ago

That is the trick. To “get that it a shit test” and parry it. Recognize it is a test and react un-emotionally. Whether it be a female or male test (entirely different in context and tactics to defend). When Softek mentions the daughter’s outrage and she hates him, the only proper response for a game aware, red pill guy is indifference. Certainly not rage. As an example of exhibiting indifference rather than rage, hate or contempt. This is the proper response of a male to the male or female test: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlOSdRMSG_k (If youtube link doesn’t work google don draper “I… Read more »

jf12
jf12
6 years ago

@NNJ, re: “Eve became an agent of Satan”

Yes. Working for the opposition; literally the Opposer.

KP
KP
6 years ago

There are sailors here??

Yes there are! Racing on Puget Sound (man we have unpredictable and flakey wind around here!) on C&C, J boats, Olson 30, Catalina 30, Cal 29, and Benetau. Probably going to make it to Swiftsure this year.

This are all mixed crews, but so far they’ve been pretty drama-free. Maybe I’ve just been lucky on the boats I’ve landed on, or maybe I intuitively sniffed out the trouble-free ones and avoided the hysterical ones, I dunno.

walawala
walawala
6 years ago

Great post. One thing that is vital is to maintain a dominant frame early. It’s hard to get back. I am seeing a girl now. I balance the comfort and attraction and she’s all up for wild experimental banging. She’s 27 so it’s all new. But when she shit tested me about remodeling my home to make it more comfortable…I drew the line. Since then…no problems. But there will be and then i’ll need to do this again. But I seen now the difference tackling this early vs letting stuff slide. If you don’t draw a line on what’s unacceptable… Read more »

mh
mh
6 years ago

Rollo, you continue to misunderstand hypergamy, which is a tendency to marry up = choose spouses of higher social status / value (and which applies to men as well). Hypergamy =/= double mating strategy (which, incidentally, also applies to men in short vs. long term relationships). And it has nothing to do with the shifts in the ovulatory cycle. Furthermore, fleeting changes in sexual preferences related to shifts in the ovulatory cycle do not necessarily translate into behaviors. Mrs. Tomassi does not disappear for three days each month in search of AF, does she. She, like most married women, stays… Read more »

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[…] Acing the Test […]

jwquiroz
6 years ago

Because I’m so darn good looking and have such a wonderful charisma women can’t help but shit test me everywhere I go. From teenagers to over the hill women they all want to see what am I made from. So, hit the gym and work your social skills and you will always command attention.

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[…] Acing the Test – Excellent post & relationship advice. More of these, please! “Shit tests” are an inherit part of “Game” and we as men must embrace them. […]

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[…] a lesbian” smirk and shrug it off like you would anything else. Treat it like a shit test and you’ll be golden. Remember there is no such thing as a true lesbian (except bull […]

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[…] husband or beta guys. Now this doesn’t mean that a woman won’t put up a fight or throw shit tests at a guy who doesn’t take her crap. She will and when she sees that the guy is congruent […]

The Dude
The Dude
5 years ago

In my experience, and I am perhaps a bit older than most of you, if a woman is DTF then she does not want to play games or waste any time, she wants to get you in bed ASAP. Her decision was made the moment she saw you and she will do what it takes to get you home right away, before any other women or before any dick head can try to stir up problems and interference.

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[…] “You will always be shit tested by a woman, so you never really pass that test, however you can and should turn those tests to your advantage.”  Acing the Test, Rational Male […]

eghost247
4 years ago

Reblogged this on eghost247.

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[…] on maintaining. In fact, I’d argue that most shit tests a woman delivers (at least the active shit tests) are issued in the hopes that you will pass them from within a male-centered communicative […]

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[…] about passing a shit test. You can find one or two on Illimitable Men site and some written by Rollo Tomassi as well. I’ll focus more on the mindset behind […]

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[…] it’s women’s capacity to move on from a former lover (War Brides), women’s subconscious shit testing for men’s fitness, or the uglier aspects of Hypergamy, the underlying motivators for much of what we dismiss as […]

Stoic101
Stoic101
3 years ago

Great article and read, but no examples of tests and actually how to pass…?

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