Yes I know my enemies, they’re the teachers who taught me to fight me.
Today’s picture comes to us courtesy of popsugar – h/t heartiste and Zelscorpion.
In honor of International Men’s Day, this picture serves as a grim reminder that boys are often pressured to succumb to gendered expectations. Last year, a group of fourth grade boys was asked to list what they don’t like about being male, and the sad results were projected in the classroom. It’s important to consider what we are teaching young boys about what it means to be a man or masculine. How do you approach gender expectations with your children?
I’m leading off with this for the weekend’s discussion post because it encapsulates precisely what I was describing towards the end of my post on Vulnerability, that our modern normative social consciousness is one that is defined by a female-correct, female-beneficial experience. Bear in mind that this projection is from the collected, learned experiences of a group of 9 year old boys who have been conditioned to a self-loathing of masculinity in a feminine-correct social order.
The question, “What I don’t like about being a boy” seems fairly innocuous, but in a feminine-correct social awareness it becomes a litmus test to gauge how well these boys have internalized feminine-correct, conditioned beliefs. Read the list of offending grievances:
- Not being able to be a mother
- Not supposed to cry
- Not allowed to be a cheerleader
- Supposed to do all the work
- Supposed to like violence
- Supposed to play football
- Boys smell bad
- Having an automatic bad reputation
- Grow hair everywhere
The list reads like the table of contents from the textbook of exactly what I’d expect from an organized feminine-primary conditioning, however we need to look deeper. It’s important to bear in mind that these uniquely male attributes are grievances these boys wish they could alter about themselves. These boys believe their lives would be improved (perfected) if they could be less like boys and more like girls. Masculine incorrect, feminine correct.
I’m often criticized of being conspiratorial for my assertion that the Feminine Imperative conditions men from a very early age to accept their eventual Beta supportive role later in life. While this masculine grievance list from 4th grade boys is a good illustration, it’s simply one example of the earliest parts of the feminine-correct landscape men are raised not just to internalize, but to evangelize about to other boys / men as well.
The Patriarchy
Amongst the crown jewels of the most useful of feminine operative social conventions is the meta-contrivance of an ever present, omni-oppressive state of masculine social control – the Patriarchy. The term was coined by the luminaries of second wave feminism to give name to an otherwise ambiguous enemy. That ambiguity was a necessary buffer to mask the real focus of feminism’s intended destructiveness – masculinity.
If you read between the lines of Sarkesian’s tweet here you can see the presumption of experiential feminine-correctness that is her mental point of origin. Her presumed context for all her public interactions is that any normal male reading it, what she believes is logic, will already be prepared to accept that what is in women’s best interests is necessarily what is in men’s best interests.
Thus, deductively, what is perceived by women to be harmful to women is necessarily harmful to men – all because the concept of what is harmful or beneficial to either proceeds from a conditioned understanding of ubiquitous female-correctness.
Hardline feminists, female and male, will rattle this trope off in different varieties, but the message is the same, “the Patriarchy hurts men too.” The reason this is standard boilerplate is because it presumes a shared state of feminine-correctness, and a shared state of mutual oppression whether a man is aware of his Patriarchal oppression or not.
This social convention is really a form of marketeering; selling a solution to a problem it created itself. The true focus isn’t about solving problems created by an imagined male-social dominance, nor is it about marginalizing the less palatable aspects of masculinity. Rather, the true objective is a wholesale elimination of any semblance of conventional masculinity in men.
This learned feminine ‘correctness’ began with the 4th grade (actually before then) boy’s conditioned self-loathing of their masculinity.
“I find myself increasingly shocked at the unthinking and automatic rubbishing of men which is now so part of our culture that it is hardly even noticed.
We have many wonderful, clever, powerful women everywhere, but what is happening to men? Why did this have to be at the cost of men?
I was in a class of nine- and 10-year-olds, girls and boys, and this young woman was telling these kids that the reason for wars was the innately violent nature of men.
You could see the little girls, fat with complacency and conceit while the little boys sat there crumpled, apologizing for their existence, thinking this was going to be the pattern of their lives.
Lessing said the teacher tried to catch my eye, thinking I would approve of this rubbish.
This kind of thing is happening in schools all over the place and no one says a thing.
It has become a kind of religion that you can’t criticize because then you become a traitor to the great cause, which I am not.
It is time we began to ask who are these women who continually rubbish men. The most stupid, ill-educated and nasty woman can rubbish the nicest, kindest and most intelligent man and no one protests.
Men seem to be so cowed that they can’t fight back, and it is time they did.”
– Doris Lessing
While this account is an indictment of the Feminine Imperative, the irony of Lessing’s shock and disgust is that in the feminine-primary social environment she’s contributed to, only a woman can authoritively observe and describe men’s debasement and be taken with any amount of seriousness. No man could’ve written this and been taken as anything but misogyny.
I received a pertinent email from a reader, Dan, this week:
Rollo, why do women raise their sons to be beta?
In my personal experience and from what many men who have made the red pill transition have said, most mothers seem to raise their sons to be beta. From an evolutionary prospective this makes no sense. It would be in the best interest of a woman’s genetics and future bloodline to raise alpha sons who can subsequently attract and impregnate more women, yet it seems women overwhelmingly raise their sons to be beta (“women want a nice guy”, “just be yourself”, and encouraging submissive behavior toward women). I could understand why society as a whole would promote this dynamic because it benefits the female Imperative, but at the individual level, evolution tends to be much more selfish. What gives?
Dan
A woman, your mother, sister, aunt, grandmother and every girl ‘friend’ you think you have are all in on a meta-shit test – they want you, and their sons, to Just Get It in spite of what they mistakenly believe are in your best interests as a man. You must embrace an Alpha mindset without a woman instructing you to be so or by definition you are not Alpha.
Women fundamentally lack an existential male experience, so the advice, the upbringing, to be more Beta, be more compromising of the masculine for the feminine, stems from women’s best guess as to what would make their sons into the best men they believe they themselves would like to pair and bond with.
Women’s sexual strategy is rooted in dualistic hypergamy – Alpha Fucks / Beta Bucks. Women already feel the familial kin-affiliation with their sons (the comforting Beta bucks security side of hypergamy) thus the Alpha Fucks side conflicts with that investment.
In the case of most single mothers, the hindsight regret of having achieved her subconscious goal of securing the Alpha Fucks genetics in her prime fertility years may be distorted by her inability to adequately realize the Beta Bucks side of her Hypergamy when the Alpha father declines the parental investment she thought would be forthcoming from him. Thus, that Beta Bucks idealization gets transferred to her son(s) and is reflected in how she raises him.
Also remember, Hypergamy is based on two parts, sexuality and security. It also stands to reason that by ensuring her son is a good manipulable Beta provider (by both her and any woman he pairs with) that his provisioning would also extend to her in the event that his father dies or abandoned her.
One last thing, human parenting evolved from the parental investment of a complementary masculine influence to balance a feminine influence. When left to a singular feminine influence in upbringing, you’re correct, it makes no evolutionary “sense”. Thus we have our contemporary landscape filled with “men” who are overwhelmingly feminized and ill prepared to lead complementary relationships with women.
Towards the end of my Vulnerability post I tackled a documentary by Jennifer Siebel Newsom called The Masks You Live In. In that part of the essay I described how the Feminine Imperative coordinates social conventions which invalidates the male experience by fostering the idea that conventional masculinity is an act or a front men put on to distract from what really lies behind the mask – a ‘true self’ defined by feminine-correct sensitivities and emotionalism:
Perhaps more damaging though is the effort the Feminine Imperative has made in convincing generations of men that masculinity and its expressions (of any kind) is an act, a front, not the real man behind the mask of masculinity that’s already been predetermined by his feminine-primary upbringing.
You see, it’s not enough to simply raise generations of boys to question what it means to be male, the idea of a male defined masculinity is dangerous to a feminine-primary social order. Boys must be taught to be self-loathing of their maleness, to despise what it is to eventually be a man.
And even that’s not sufficient. Men must be continually reminded that masculinity is ridiculous, pitiable in it’s attempts to understand the feminine, and that men would already be feminine-correct beings if they’d simply drop the facade of their mask of positive masculinity.
Here’s the face of your perfected ‘adult’ male:
“When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier.”
― Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead
These are the men that the Feminine Imperative has created. The men who, “want an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home.” The men the imperative must convince are ‘sexier’ at precisely the concurrent time that their provisioning and security are most important to women at their necessitous phase of life.
These are the men who made the list of things they were taught they shouldn’t like about being a boy when they were 9 years old.
So for this weekend’s discussion question I’ll ask the same thing popsugar did, how do (will) you approach gender expectations with your children?
Shocking.
Anita will be A-list famous.
The question, “What I don’t like about being a boy” seems fairly innocuous, but… …but it’s the ultimate frame setting from a female authority figure (how did we ever let that happen?) to a young, defenseless and captive male audience. why do women raise their sons to be beta? In addition to the meta-shit test (Just Get It) that Rollo mentions, there is another very important dynamic at work: BRIFFAULT’S LAW. http://www.stickmanweekly.com/ReadersSubmissions2009/reader5546.htm The mother is seeking to secure further resources – additional beta providers who are enslaved through guilt and other conditioning. This happens when the trade-off between the two… Read more »
What I don’t like about being a boy? Who comes up with this crap? Aren’t they supposed to be teaching our children and not indoctrinating them? How does advance education? Seriously, enough with all the brainwashing already. No wonder our education system sucks.
For funs I would have wrote “um, I don’t get to bleed for a week every month for years and years” lolz
“sexist depictions of women” – the woman saying that doesn’t measure up.
As to my kids (3 boys and a girl ) – Red Pill all the way.
After all this indoctrination is it any great suprise that games like Grand Theft Auto V have players hacking chicks up with axes and the like for fun. No prizes for guessing why there is a large market for this sort of thing. I’m serious when i say it’s very disturbing.
What’s next? Prescribing feminizing hormones to young boys?
If a man is adamant to find a woman who abides by his need for mutual empathy, compromise and common goals in a relationship, he’ll have to search long and hard to find it in a woman worth having. Ultimately, he will, absent of a comparable lottery win, need to give much on his predilection for female looks in place of a woman with less options in the sexual market. In essence, the modern day has produced a female specimen that is self-indulged, self-entitled, expectant, unappreciative, and, in addition to all this, someone who constantly needs to be reminded of… Read more »
@TC – Don’t eat the food women serve.
Well, although I always wanted to be Ward Cleaver it’s almost a certainty that that ship long ago sailed, got torpedoed at the mouth of the harbor, rolled over, left a huge oil slick, sank, and now presents a navigation hazard for all other traffic. Had I learned all of this stuff at the age of 32 vs. 42 things might be different. Since women commit as opportunistically as they love there is no point in assuming the risk of a long term multi-year investment. Only a fool spends money to renovate/improve a property he can only rent on a month to… Read more »
I remember being 25 and telling my female roommates that I couldn’t understand why women were even attracted to men … since we were all so gross and hairy, etc. I honestly believed it. In retrospect this was a buffer against rejection I’d developed that was based on the kind of feminine conditioning discussed in the post. Back then I was the type of AFC who could get laid based on looks but couldn’t keep anything around. I should have been taught, and I will teach my boys (6 and 3 now) that women’s bodies and brains are designed to… Read more »
Women really have to believe the shit they’ll be talking about the whole time, otherwise it would be impossible for a logical human being to be like that without going nuts.
Concerning Briffault’s Law: the theory makes perfect sense. If we imply that 20% of the male population be alpha by default and you can’t change anything about it, women have to make sure all other men are thirsty beta providers awaiting to fulfill their part i.e. provisioning. And it’s true for mothers as well. Hell, they don’t give a fuck if their sons are alpha, usually. AWALT
re: “Supposed to do all the work”
The boy has seen the situation correctly.
As usual a good take on the issue. When I posted the pic on twitter I got instantly attacked by women claiming that this kind of education is only teaching boys to be more sensitive. One woman then thought that I would listen more to men and linked to one such “sensitivity”-campaign led by some footballer, as if I would care more what one celebrity says publicly. Finally I was branded a misogynist and I left it at that. I wonder if women would be fine with the following being asked in school: “What I don’t like about being a… Read more »
Those kind of questions should all be taboo, because as you aptly put it – they inherently imply that something is wrong with being a boy, girl, black, Christian or poor.
Lessing seems, to me, to distract by misindentifying the enemy “It is time we began to ask who are these women who continually rubbish men.” and by misidentifying the solution “Men seem to be so cowed that they can’t fight back, and it is time they did.” The enemy isn’t vague, and we don’t have to ask who they are: it is ALL of the changes in society designed to prop up women at the expense of men. The solution isn’t vague; it isn’t men’s fault that society is mistreating men; it isn’t the abused kid’s responsibility to “fight back”… Read more »
Good God, if the classroom slide isn’t an argument in favor of Home Schooling, then send me to Femi-Communist Re-education Camp now. That slide and its context reminded me of a scene from Huxley’s ‘Brave New World’; “What’s the lesson this afternoon?” he asked. “We had Elementary Sex for the first forty minutes,” she answered. “But now it’s switched over to Elementary Class Consciousness.” The Director walked slowly down the long line of cots. Rosy and relaxed with sleep, eighty little boys and girls lay softly breathing. There was a whisper under every pillow. The D.H.C. halted and, bending over… Read more »
@The Other Jim
You are absolutely right. I personally decided for my future children to either be home-schooled or sent to some old-style elite schools – most of them in Europe, where our world plutocratic leader send their children who are NOT being taught the same rubbish there.
Otherwise you would have to go through every step of the curriculum and try to counter the propaganda step by step.
Really great post. Fortunately for me, my Japanese wife embraces (so far) the reinforcement of masculine traits in my son and feminine traits in my daughters. Feminism is trying to make inroads into Japanese culture, but fortunately, still has a ways to go.
The biggest shit test a woman has ever given is to convince society that feminism is what they really want. The truth is, all men need to do is continue behaving like men and embrace their masculinity to know the truth. Women love being lead, dominated and told what to do. Any woman who shames me on that gets a flash of my ‘Alpha’ which promptly puts her in her place.
For boys (from the perspective of a mom)
Let me try again. I hit the submit button to quickly . . .
how do (will) you approach gender expectations with your children?
This is how we are trying to raise my kids, (written from my motherly perspective):
For boys and for girls, part 1 and part 2.
“Teach Your Children”
Music and Lyrics by Graham Nash
Performed by Crosby, Stills and Nash
You who are on the road must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself because the past is just a good bye
Teach your children well, their father’s hell did slowly go by
And feed them on your dreams, the one they fix, the one you’ll know by
Don’t you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you
It’s easy for us to blame our mothers for indoctrinating us into believing their foolish ideals, but in general most of them have our best interest at heart. I can forgive my mother for raising me to believe the lies perpetuated by society because she knows no other way. Our mothers all tried their best to do right by us, and we should remember that they want us to succeed in life and relationships. Do not blame your mother for not knowing how to be a man, for it is not her place. Blame your father for either not being… Read more »
This is nothing new. I would like to share my own experiences in this matter, something I’ve never done before, from the most feminized country in the world, no less: Sweden. I’m a Swedish “recovering beta”, but I used to be alpha as a little boy. In daycare and pre-school, I was a natural little boy alpha, tugging girls hair and whatnot, I’m sure you can make up a picture in your mind. It was nearly twenty years ago, and I was only eight years old when this alpha-ness was taken, yes taken is the right word, from me. I… Read more »
Rollo,
I had a comment go into moderation (my above comment was incomplete). When you have a moment, will you please release it?
I am married and have 2 girls. How do I set gender expectations? By modeling the masculine myself, and setting feminine expectations with my wife. My wife only works part time. She cleans the home, she cares for the kids. I insist that she include the kids in all of the household chores. My wife is required to wear clothing that I find attractive on her. My wife is required to dress our girls in feminine styles too. The kids are encouraged to play dress-up, house, and with makeup. Getting my girls to act like girls isn’t really the question.… Read more »
@Simon and @CaveClown – Daughters are the tricky part for a man. I deal with my young cousins and have already started to teach them Game and the Red Pill at the ages of 12 & 14. As far as women go, their Red Pill part can only go so far. Sure – you can tell them about attraction points, the folly of feminism and how it usually ends for feminists, you can prepare them to look for the best man they can find at an early age. However as you have well noted – due to ever greater promiscuity… Read more »
“A woman, your mother, sister, aunt, grandmother and every girl ‘friend’ you think you have are all in on a meta-shit test – they want you, and their sons, to Just Get It in spite of what they mistakenly believe are in your best interests as a man. You must embrace an Alpha mindset without a woman instructing you to be so or by definition you are not Alpha.” I’ll pick a nit here. This is almost correct. It’s not so much that the women of a boy’s youth want him to “Just Get It”. They believe that he already… Read more »
At this point I’m at a bit of a loss as to how I’ll do it. My son is three this month. I was raised beta by a single mom, like you mentioned, so I don’t have a good role model to go by and apply to my own son. I wish there were redpill resources out there for fathers as they relate to their children.
Women raise betas because that is their back up plan
If her son is good with women he’ll have less cash, time and other resources for her
Women above all else are selfish, self centered etc and only concerned with her own welfare. Usually they don’t even understand they are operating this way but it doesn’t change the fact its how they are
Live Fearless, Anita already is R-list famous a correspondent notes:- “She really isn’t that important. She’s never been the issue, she’s just a symptom of the disease. There’s nothing wrong with saying incredibly stupid things in YouTube videos, that’s a staple of the internet, the problem is how she was canonized for it and the fact that even the mildest criticism of anything she ever said was made verboten. Even if she was made completely radioactive and they had to disavow her–say someone found irrefutable proof that she was leading a ring of pedophile terrorists, or that she loudly talks… Read more »
Just wanted to share this tidbit. A homeless shelter turns a family away because they have a teenage boy. He’s too much of a sexual threat to be on the women’s side and too young to be with the men. Read it and weep. http://www.boardingschoolreview.com/all-boys-boarding-schools.php 15 years old, and the boy is already disposable. We are so inured to this that we may not really get how incredible all this is. Just take a second and try to imagine that you are the intake people (has to be women) at this shelter and your position is,”We can’t take you in… Read more »
lol. I missed BC’s post or I wouldn’t have made mine.
. Women already feel the familial kin-affiliation with their sons (the comforting Beta bucks security side of hypergamy) thus the Alpha Fucks side conflicts with that investment.
Brilliant
More on the Salvation army. So teenaged boys are persona non grata – but if you are trangendered, they will move heaven and earth to “rescue” you. http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/usn/nodiscrimination
It just gets better and better doesn’t it folks?
The loss of Religion ushered in this insanity. Feminism is a religion substitute w women as false god
Unfortunately, the blame for boys’ upbringing goes mostly to the beta dad’s. The women don’t consciously understand what they are doing. It is a father’s job to raise a man. Most father’s that I meet in my son’s school are pathetic excuses for men.
wolf – “Our mothers all tried their best to do right by us, and we should remember that they want us to succeed in life and relationships.”
You’re an optimist.
Remember the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice.
“Amongst the crown jewels of the most useful of feminine operative social conventions is the meta-contrivance of an ever present, omni-oppressive state of masculine social control – the Patriarchy. The term was coined by the luminaries of second wave feminism to give name to an otherwise ambiguous enemy.” a favorite passage from the book Art and Physics – Leonard Shlain ————————————- When we reflect, ruminate, reminisce, muse and imagine, generally we revert to the visual mode. But in order to perform the brain’s highest function, abstract thinking, we abandon the use of images and are able to carry on without… Read more »
Daughters, uggh. I have a 26 yr old who has been fully dipped in FI and man hatred by her covert narcissist mother. and is now alienated from me by her own doing. My insights to various commenters here: 1. You kid yourself if you think you can shield your children – male or female – from this. If you think so, you don’t understand the nature of the problem. The FI is everywhere – it’s in your fucking head. It’s on the TV, in the music videos they’ll watch thousands of times with their friends, in school, at the… Read more »
mothers want their sons to have kids and to have regular access to the grandkids to help raise them
this means you could marry as a virgin, have just enough sex to get your wife pregnant two or three times, then do whatever your wife requires, which might be provide lots, have no sex, and let your wife fuck alphas for sport
(from a phone as usual, expect/accept typos)
And the majority of men will not fight to change it – don’t we already know that? Alphas don’t care. Betas are sucked in. And really, RP guys are mostly a small number of either losers in the mating game who are highly intelligent or guys who have been torn up by divorce or custody issues or crazy women abusing them. We are a tiny, insignificant minority and are having no effect on larger society. W respect, we are the majority of meb Glenn. My friebds are saying fuck it to marriage and we are young and attractive. Young girls,… Read more »
@osir “At this point I’m at a bit of a loss as to how I’ll do it. My son is three this month. I was raised beta by a single mom, like you mentioned, so I don’t have a good role model to go by and apply to my own son. I wish there were redpill resources out there for fathers as they relate to their children.” The example you set is the most important thing. If you consistently allow your wife to be unaccountable for her mistakes, and to take control of issues you should be controlling (despite her… Read more »
@ sfcton
“lol. I missed BC’s post or I wouldn’t have made mine.”
You should make yours anyway.
The excellent information that BC provided will be understood more directly, and retained longer, when focused by your shorter but sharper comment.
I think a lot gets made about the feminist indoctrination in university curricula in the manosphere, but I think this is really concern for closing the barn door after the horses have all gotten out. It’s fairly accepted knowledge that what a child learns in the first 5 years of their development tends to establish the basis for their character and personality development later in life. It’s during the formative years that boys are taught to “respect” girls by deferring to their natural superiority and unquestioned correctness of femaleness. When I read about the extent of #GamerGate or the next… Read more »
@rollo
Completely agree.. I was exposed to some Gloria Steinem in college, in a ‘logic’ class, ironically. It was much later that I even realized what that was all really about, but I also realized I was impervious to it as a means of conditioning. I was already well armored by that time. For conditioned betas, you’re right the damage would have to have already been done.
The example you set is the most important thing. Christian McQueen asked me in the interview how do I raise my daughter as a Red Pill Man. This is it. I live an example of the positive masculine decisiveness I’d expect her to look for in a man. At 16 she’s already broken up with her first boyfriend because he’s ambitionless and indecisive. It didn’t take more than 3 months. Yes, it sucked and she had the predictable emotional reactions, but to her credit she saw him as what he was and how she didn’t want it to go any… Read more »
My last comment on daughters:
MDILT – My daughter isn’t like that.
“So for this weekend’s discussion question I’ll ask the same thing popsugar did, how do (will) you approach gender expectations with your children?” For me, family was such a violent, unpleasant, soul-sapping affair that I’ve been generally uninterested in having children at all. Couple that with all the time spent as a beta of one form or another and here I find myself in my late 30s, no children, and never married. Strangely I’ve managed an N count of 19 to date, but most of that came within the past 5-7 years of finding RP truths on my own. My… Read more »
“The mother is seeking to secure further resources – additional beta providers who are enslaved through guilt and other conditioning.”
.
Bingo! I heard a woman, the other day, speaking of her young adult children: “If Dottie and Dan get jobs, they’ll pull in together what I make, then I won’t have to work!” I’m sure, if confronted, she’d stress her words were in jest but it’s difficult not to see the strong desire/drive for provisioning.
Just a side note: I’m generally not a fan of Breitbart, but this article has been making the rounds in the manosphere.
http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-London/2014/12/04/The-Sexodus-Part-1-The-Men-Giving-Up-On-Women-And-Checking-Out-Of-Society
I hadn’t intended it, but it dovetails nicely with today’s post.
I’ve done three things to try to navigate the “how are you raising your son” question. First, we do things and establish expectations that he’s a boy and he’s good. I’ve introduced my wife to Free Range Kids, and I’ve taken pains, with her, to ensure he’s a vibrant, active kid. He’s 10 now – we encourage him to compete in sports, to play rough with his friends, and I take him with me camping and mountain biking and shooting. We’ll be learning to dive together in a couple years and it’s on the table that if he’s a straight… Read more »
I don’t understand you Glenn. On the one hand you’re suggesting western society, especially the US will prevail but otoh you (correctly) rant about the ponzi scheme in the medicare system. It’s not just here where that game is being played and it cannot go on forever. That’s a fact.
What we can’t be sure about is what comes after that and I’m not being too optimistic there anymore.
I have 3 sons.
1) teach by example: live an unapologetic masculine life.
2) encourage masculinity: physical sports, rough play
3) answer their questions about the FI with amused mastery
4) connect your boys with the male tribe (and you may have to create your own)
@ Heyjay – I don’t see the two as mutually exclusive. We will have a monetary and fiscal crisis within 15 years or less (could happen any moment, actually), we just need a precipitating asset crash to force a real run on the dollar. We are all set – we’ve got the bubble, so the crash is inevitable, it’s just a matter of time. And it will be far worse than anything the U.S. has ever seen (if anyone wants to dive in on this i have a strong finance/economics background). But then you have to ask what will come… Read more »
I have two toddler boys and a girl at the moment. I’ve addressed gender roles so far by: Not tolerating crying. If I have to discipline one of my sons I let them cry for the initial shock period, but then I tell them to cry quietly. I don’t let them get away with temper tantrums or pouting, and I also try to minimize pain reactions. I’m going to train stocicsm and endurance as they grow. I also tell them not to “act like a girl” when they get upset. This always gets a reaction from my wife, but I… Read more »
In the early days of absorbing the red pill, the message I heard about fathers and daughters was that it was the father’s job to prepare his daughter for the most important decision she’ll ever make: who she’ll pick for her husband. And how was he supposed to do that? By modeling for her how a man looks and acts, the father sets the stage for what she should be looking for. Best to start that early so she bonds to her father. Looking at this from the point of a man looking for a wife: her relationship with her… Read more »
Why do women raise boys to be beta? Because boys are wild and women want everything peaceful, easy, and stress free, everything young boys are not. They want to coast through motherhood so they can get back to hypergamy.
What to teach your son:
1. Shit mommy says they can’t have – give it to them when she’s not looking. Tell your son that us men have to stick together and do stuff women don’t like sometimes.
2. Teach your son how to tease.
3. Teach your son how to be tough.
I can’t leave it alone. When my daughter was 16, people would comment on how great and unusual our relationship was. While she was already just starting to pull away, I was still a large factor in her life. If anyone told me then that we wouldn’t be talking 10 years later I would have laughed at you. And most anyone who knew us would have laughed at the concept. My friends and family described me as doting on her. I taught her to ski and had her doing black diamond runs by age 7. We took up rock climbing… Read more »
Rollo, that Breitbart article had me seeing red! Funny thing is, with my 2 sons, both in their twenties, I do not see this amongst their groups. Though possibly because they are both in LTR’s, so tend to hang with the same type of people. I have dropped a small sampling of masculine thought on them recently, and have been surprised by their reactions. They tend to naturally be leaders, so thought some of the things I was saying would taken in with a sly glance. Nope, though they have some natural Alphalpha tendencies, as you write in this column,… Read more »
Virtually all girls are with the program no later than first grade. Only the psychologically toughest boys last as long as third grade before they succumb. The system is designed that way, by generations of pyschologists, each refining the work of the previous generations. It is designed with the knowledge that parents will resist the system, and thus is designed to subvert that resistence. The educational system did not arise by happenstance. It was designed. There is no ‘failure of the schools.’ They are producing the planned result. You have your kids until they are 5, maybe, if you keep… Read more »
“If women need men, they can come get them any time.” If women need betas, they can. Feminism’s best joke in my opinion has been the one played on heterosexual women that prioritized school, career, and “exploring her sexuality” over finding a good man while her SMV was high. “Don’t worry sweetheart, there’s plenty of time. You’ll find an amazing man waiting for you when you’re done.” No, you won’t. Amazing men want what they regard as amazing women. A jaded, bitchy, career-focused feminist who expects a guy to just ignore younger, hotter women for her once she’s past the… Read more »
Holy tag failure, Batman!
What do Rollo and the readers think is an age where boys can read and understand RM?
I got quite a few mothers both from my further family and from friends or affairs wanting me to spend time and talk to their sons as a better role-model than their dads. I want to help them, but I can’t stand child raising and stuff. From what age do you think I could point them here?
@lh – I have started introducing Red Pill sites to my friends’ younger brothers and cousins around the age of 13-14. Sometimes even while they are still virgins and doing their first steps trying to attract some women. They will likely focus on Game first, but some main perceptions regarding women will start to seep through as well. When talking to them they were a bit astonished first, but then tried to apply some concepts very quickly – judging women by their actions – not words, being more masculine, being more dominant, teasing girls instead of complimenting, Alpha Beta concepts… Read more »
I believe mothers have a very good guess on whether or not their son is going to be alpha by the start of his childhood. They probably either know this by extension of the father (if he was an alpha too) or if her son looks like he has the potential to be an alpha. When they know their kid has the potential to pull, they won’t purposely push down too many blue pills (beta shit) down his throat. Women do have a propensity to dispense lies to all men but towards alphas, they are way more forgiving. To betas,… Read more »
@lh: ” . . . I can’t stand child raising . . .”
Then don’t raise them. They aren’t yours to raise in the first place and they know that.
So what do you do? You talk to them as men. Less developed and experienced men, to be sure, but men nonetheless.
At what age can you do this? They’ll let you know themselves by their response. They will appreciate the hell out of it when they are ready. It will likely happen at a much younger age than you might expect.
Great set of comments! Got me to thinking about how my mom would say she was just trying to do her best. That my well being was always her first interest. It would be nice if it were only true. But alas it wasn’t. It was bullshit. Self centered and self serving is a more apt description of her. Somehow I knew it deep inside myself. I was always repulsed by how much she wanted to be in the limelight whenever I was successful at something. It was my good fortune to have a dad who, though beta in many… Read more »
@Glenn
I am fascinated by your story, as well as saddened. You’re right, the amount of control you have over your kids is relatively small, and it just wanes from birth. Regarding daughters, your concept of “My Daughter Is Not Like That” deserves some thought. From what I understand, you did so many things right, but it still went down the drain. What would you have done differently from a red pill mindset? I’m genuinely interested.
@Zelcorpion
That’s what I’ve imagined as the best-case scenario.
Damn @Glenn I just stepped into your shoes from 20 years ago. ur scarin’ the shit outta me. Coincidentally, bitch sued me to throw out our divorce and court was yesterday. I lost, now we gotta divorce again. She’s just going to find out there’s no gain in what she’s doing, but whatev. I had conceded custody of our daughter, but I’ve been considering going after her with everything I got, because I got some pretty good shit on my wife. I’d say I have a better shot than most, but definitely not a sure thing and it would cost… Read more »
Men in frivorce proceedings should start Kickstarter campaigns in the manosphere to generate funds to fight their wives in court.
@funoldguy
If your mom was like mine then her best interest was your best interest. There would never be any divergence allowed between your interests. in my case when our interests diverged it was my interest that deferred to hers. This is how I learned about the great con of opportunistic love.
” So for this weekend’s discussion question I’ll ask the same thing popsugar did, how do (will) you approach gender expectations with your children? ” The thing Im doing is teaaching my boy all the “man skills” that I have. Carpentry, fixing cars, preparing and sending invoices, reconciling bank accounts, developing websites, playing team sports, carving steaks, surfing, canoeing, camping, working out with wieghts etc. The one thing the FI cant take away from you is your skills and your physical strength. It will take your money, time, energy, children, EVERYTHING away from you IF YOU LET IT. You cant… Read more »
Opie: “How can you hate women so much when your mom is a woman?”
Patrice: “My mom is not a woman, she’s my mother; but she was a woman to some other man.”
It’s very important for modern, 21st century mothers and teachers to drill into their boys that all men are potential molesters and rapists. This way, when they grow up to be men themselves, they will be docile, easily manipulated, and self-loathing. Just the way we want ’em.
Of course I do all these things with my son AFTER I have spent 3 days a week working to pay income taxes to the FI Government, its “welfare” recipents and its debts
I have four kids. My boys cut the grass when they were in second grade. The neighbors were appalled. A couple weeks later their fifth graders were cutting the grass. My daughters cut the grass in second grade. In hind site I should have had my girls cooking dinner. Sexist I know, but what makes a good wife? My 8 year old son built a picnic table with me, circular saw and all. My wife freaked out that he would cut a finger off. Ten years later he started a lawn care business, hired 3 buddies and made $12,000 in… Read more »
If you want to know a Feminist’s position on anything you only need to apply the question “Would a man want it?”, and to choose the opposite. This explains their insane positions against the male pill and against prostitution(Female freed of patriarchy, extra slutty, making alot of money) or say defense of that woman who killed her three children. Thats why I believe Feminism really is just a giant shit test. Try it yourself on whatever topic. One key thing to this is that they are against men more than they are for women, thats why youll see them occasionally… Read more »
ALL males are less than what we were put here to be. I fully believe that now. (fathers, siblings, grandfathers, uncles, cousins, friends.) So, how could any of us have possibly learned otherwise? One thing I’ve been pondering lately is this: joy. I can count on my two hands how many individuals I’ve encountered in my life who had joy in their hearts, which radiated out through their eyes. (I always envied them.) I want that. I’m fully aware of how evil are the power structures in this world (10x more evil than is EVER discussed in the manosphere, though… Read more »
@ Simon – Great question and since I’m really only just now getting used to Red Pill living, it’s not an easy one to answer. What would I have done different, with respect to my daughter? I would not have taken what she did so personally. I was devastated by her pulling away from me because my ego was so invested in seeing myself as a “good father”. I would have not taken her insults so seriously. When women act out now, I just laugh. I should have realized she was just being a little cunt and let her cool… Read more »
@BC re Briffaults Law, from http://xsplat.wordpress.com/2013/05/28/how-to-keep-a-woman-in-aquisitive-mode/ People have positive emotions to you in relation to the value that you add to their life. So with a girl her emotions will be swayed in a positive direction the more you add value in any domain, such as; 1) Financial – if she is financially dependent on you that hand over her quality of life will translate into her loving you more 2) Social – if you and your social circle are a main part of her social life that hand over her quality of life will translate into her loving you… Read more »
Humans need relationships in one way or another. I think it’s important not to lose sight of that, based on my own experience of having lost sight of that, and I think it’s having a majorly negative impact on my quality of life. Not sure what to do about this anymore. I don’t remember my parents touching me when I was growing up. It was like I didn’t exist. I could see myself never talking to either of them, or my sister, for the rest of my life, and that doesn’t bother me at all. I’m not angry at them… Read more »
My oldest and closest friend (Max from Australia) and I discuss this topic a lot. I’m very grateful that I have another RP aware guy I can regularly talk to. We both unplugged about 12 months ago and our kids are almost the same ages; girls 14 (both very attractive) and my boy is 9. I’ve been separated nearly 3 years and was in a lucky and unique position to have been the primary carer up until 6 months ago, however by mutual decision they are now with their mother and I have them every second weekend, but with open… Read more »
In Florida, proposals about having more same sex class rooms in public schools are being considered as an experiment. A pilot project.
I would be skeptical that it would be a separation for easier indoctrination. Not a systemic thing. But since most teachers are women, the teachers would use it that way.
But to to bring up that same sex classrooms as beneficial, especially since it seems the concern is really for girls doing well and not that boys may do better, is admitting to things being unequal.
P.S. Don’t like the commercial with Chris Carter. Heard he wasn’t well liked around the league.
@Heyjey, If we imply that 20% of the male population be alpha by default and you can’t change anything about it, women have to make sure all other men are thirsty beta providers awaiting to fulfill their part i.e. provisioning. yes, women conspire to create the beta class of men. It biologically hard wired into women to band together as a hive mind borg and create and maintain a caste system. This is not any artifact of modernity, or western modernity in particular. It is instinctual and timeless and hard wired. I wrote about that in 2012 “Women willfully create… Read more »
@xsplat, “People have positive emotions to you in relation to the value that you add to their life” ***All true and good, my friend, very true, *TOO* true: but what about your OWN individual positive emotions that are inner-generated? What happens when external beings no longer perceive you as “value-add” to their life? What then? “So with a girl her emotions will be swayed in a positive direction the more you add value in any domain” ***no argument here. What happens when the only thing remaining in your domain is *you*? What then? . . . . . . it… Read more »
I have 2 sons and these are a few of the tidbits I will pass down to them. Basic Tips for Novices #1 If you want a woman to like you ignore her as much as possible without being rude. When you finally give her attention her heart will melt. #2 Only date young women. If a woman isn’t married by age 25 she probably has significant personality issues. If you wonder why the last cookie on the plate is still sitting there flip it over and you’ll find out. Advanced Tips For Experts #3 Back Of The Leg Test:… Read more »
@stuttie – mate – you know what I have been through over the last 40 years…
I consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world – thank you my friend
@ Magnifque, I’m not following what you are saying. Are you saying that dealing with women can be a pain in the ass, that they cause needless drama, are financially and emotionally dangerous, and that sooner or later will leave you, taking whatever they can grab? And therefore that men can seek higher goals, and not waddle in the muck of feminine slime? I believe that sustainable, if ultimately temporary, mutual benefit is possible with women. It’s difficult to wring more reward out of women than pain. It’s difficult to seduce and maintain sexual tension and a love-slave relationship with… Read more »
Naturam expellas furca, tamen usque recurret-Horace (You can drive nature out with a pitchfork but she always comes back. ) Have faith, the fight is being joined from many quarters. There are plenty of examples just in the past weeks of things that might have worked for them being thrown back into their faces. The example today is the UVa Rape Hoax thing, and before this is all done, this will be some serious egg on faces. Rolling Stone has announced that “trust in the source was misplaced.” All that occurred because far more than just a few renengade Men’s… Read more »
but what about your OWN individual positive emotions that are inner-generated? What happens when external beings no longer perceive you as “value-add” to their life? What then? It’s not an either or thing. I was in Bali last week, away from my lovers. Although I did score one date that went well, at the end of the week I was suffering from severe sex and love withdrawal. Very anxious, could not focus. I also did a lot of meditation and chi-kung that week, and the contemplative practices enriched my life. We are mutually entwined and engaged, and no amount of… Read more »
What happens when the only thing remaining in your domain is *you*? What then? . . . . . . it happens, c’est la vie. . . . . . to the best of us. You mean if we are broke? I was flat broke for the two years that I was in Thailand, and for many of my years in Indonesia. I was often late in paying my rent. I sometimes had to use coin money for the days ration of booze. I frequently cut my own hair. One girl looked up at me in wonder and said “Daddy,… Read more »
@xsplat
Look, brother, I love you. You gave me a lot, which I can probably never repay you for (though I’ve tried), and I can never shit on that. But sometimes, I just don’t get where you’re coming from, as I’m sure you often feel about me (with good reason). I had a whole long-ass post locked and loaded for you, but I’m not going to post it, out of brotherly love. Let’s just agree to disagree. Peace.
@Magnifique
all males are less than what they were put here to be
Right. Or rather all people. “For all fall short of the glory of God.” I will answer to God for all my shortcomings, which are legion. But I won’t answer to feminists.
@badpainter: “If your mom was like mine then her best interest was your best interest. There would never be any divergence allowed between your interests.” Yeah, that’s how it was. But I didn’t give her a lot of quarter there. I had a dog long ago who would run and twist and flip until he slipped his leash. That’s how I was too. It made for a lot of bad blood between me and my mom. What’s so fascinating is that a number of women in my life wanted to know about how I related to my mom. The message… Read more »
@ Robert What?
Amen, brother. Myself, included.
Some excellent ideas here. I agree that role modelling is most important. Both yourself as a principled man, and the dynamic with the child’s mother. Whilst I have no children of my own, I was with a girl for 18 months and her 2x boys (yes, I know, I know… but the sex was great). I am well-equipped in the ways of cold-approach game and was fascinated to find just how this translated across in dealing with kids (7 and 5 years) in establishing the power dynamic without having any “formal” power in the “family”. Of course I expect the… Read more »
Yep, mothers don’t want their children to leave. It’s an instinct. Moms have this sort of blindness when it comes to their boys. It makes sense: if the child is a “good boy,” the mother loves him. If he is a “bad boy,” of course, the mother loves him. Good’s always going to be the mother’s definition of “good,” so, femininity. What’s irresistible for a boy is to replace his father as the alpha of the house. If a woman is complains about her husband, yet in contrast, Johnny is her good boy, well, there you go. I knew a… Read more »
Men have abdicated in the field of education.
Three of four public school teachers are women.
http://nces.ed.gov/fastfacts/display.asp?id=28
If you want to change the perspective, get more men into education, and don’t crap all over education as a profession like I hear here all the time. Seriously, how many men reading this board would want to go into education after hearing the profession disparaged like it is in the manosphere?
Firstly, thanks Rollo for posting this… and for all the commenters here for sharing. This has been very educational and thought inspiring. Many thoughts come to mind so I’m just going to scatter shoot. 1 – Rollo you don’t realize how skewed your thinking on children is by having only one daughter. I believe if you had a mixed bag of a few son’s and a few daughters … you would probably be a lot less absolute in your assertion that “modeling” works in all cases. And no offense but certainties of how to raise (rear) children usually come from… Read more »
4) Teach them to love but not respect women… A date was probing about a girl I’d recently dated, and I told of how the girl was a prudish virgin who wanted me to meet her mom before we’d even made out. “You have to respect girls!” she said, as if that was the obvious solution to the disparate needs of the virgin for security and me for testing for sexual compatibility. I looked at her like she’d sprouted a second head, twisted up my eyebrows into a look of incredulity, and then exclaimed “No I don’t!” It took her… Read more »