Towards the end of The Bitter Taste of the Red Pill I wrote this:
The truth will set you free, but it doesn’t make truth hurt any less, nor does it make truth any prettier, and it certainly doesn’t absolve you of the responsibilities that truth requires. One of the biggest obstacles guys face in unplugging is accepting the hard truths that Game forces upon them. Among these is bearing the burden of realizing what you’ve been conditioned to believe for so long were comfortable ideals and loving expectations are really liabilities. Call them lies if you want, but there’s a certain hopeless nihilism that accompanies categorizing what really amounts to a system that you are now cut away from. It is not that you’re hopeless, it’s that you lack the insight at this point to see that you can create hope in a new system – one in which you have more direct control over.
One of the hardest lessons I had to learn when I unplugged (such as it was) was throwing away ‘hope’.
Not real, internal, personal hope, but rather the ‘hope’ I had been led to believe was a realizable state – if circumstances, if personalities, if fate or some other condition defined by the feminine imperative would just align in such a way that I’d been conditioned to believe it could, then that feminine defined contentment could be actualized.
I wanted very much to realize that idealized state by defining hope (or having it defined for me) in a context that was never of my own real choosing. I got just as depressed as anyone else when I unplugged. I got angry. I didn’t want to think that I’d invested so much of myself in something that was fundamentally unattainable because the my understanding of it had been incorrect, either deliberately or by my own hopeful interpretations of it.
My own ‘unplugging’ was a gradual affair and came after a lot of drawn out trauma. And yes, to realize that all of that trauma amounted to nothing after hoping and struggling to mold myself into something that I was led to believe was achievable it was even more depressing.
It wasn’t until I realized that the hope I was sold came from the same social paradigm that never held my best interests as a priority that I threw it away. That was a tough day because I realized in doing so I would have to find a new sense of hope for myself. It seemed very nihilistic at the time, and I had to really make an effort not to make that choice from a sense of self-pity.
One particularly hard revelation I had to disabuse myself of was understanding that women love differently than men. That was tough to embrace because the old hope I was struggling to realize was based on the primary tenet of blue pill thinking; the equalist notion that men and women share a mutually recognized, mutually accepted concept of love.
Once I understood this was an idealization rather than a reality, and that women can and do love men deeply, but in an entirely different feminine-specific concept of love, I discovered that I no longer ‘hoped’ for that mutuality and embraced the hope that men and women could still genuinely love each other from their own perspectives of love without a mutual consensus.
I remembered then an older man I had done some peer counseling with while in college and how this man had essentially striven his entire life to please and content his ex-wife and his now second wife of more than 30 years. From his early 20s he’d spent his personal life in a hopeful attempt at contenting, appeasing and qualifying for a mutually shared state of love he believed these women (the only 2 he’d ever had sex with) had a real capacity for.
At 73 (now) he’s spent his life invested in a hope that simply doesn’t exist – that he can be loved as a man ideally believes a woman ought to be able to love him – just as all the romantic, feminine-defined ideals of love he’d learned from a feminine-centric social order had convinced him of for so long.
This is why I say men are the True Romantics, because the overwhelming majority will devote a lifetime to the effort of actualizing a belief in a male-idealized love to find fulfillment in a woman and for that woman.
Old Hope for New Hope
I hope that doesn’t sound too fortune cookie, but it’s a prime example of redefining hope in a new red pill-aware paradigm. You can hope and thrive in a new red pill context – I know I do – but it’s much easier when you internalize red pill truths and live with them in a red pill context instead of force-fitting them into your old, feminine-defined, blue pill context. I can imagine what my marriage would look like if I hadn’t made the red pill transition and learned to use that awareness in it. There are a lot of guys paying ‘marriage coaches’ $149 an hour because they never did.
There was a comment buried in last week’s comment thread from Hobbes that was too good not to include in its entirety here:
I think I get it!
For years I have been bitter about this need to “perform” about how this shows that women do not love us as we love etc.. And just now I was reviewing my old relationships and I recalled something.
In each of my relationships, prior to meeting the women I eventually fell in love with, I was constantly working on myself, I would get in shape, hang out with friends, explore my environment and work on myself and my music etc. As soon as I would “fall in love” I would slowly drop those activities, I’d focus on being a good bf, I would focus on providing and “being what she wanted” what I thought she wanted, better said.
But here is my Eureka moment, what I recalled each time was being unhappy, what I recall each time was feeling boxed in and kind of dull.. of feeling trapped.
Is this what Rollo means when he says our response to women is a conditioning, and that the sadness we get from Red Pill truth is the result of behaving and believing something that is not really our nature, but the result of having someone else’s behaviors and beliefs installed into us?
So I think I finally understand it for myself… the talk of putting yourself first, of “performing” etc is really just a way of saying “you don’t have to do what people say you’re supposed to do in a relationship – you don’t have to drop everything for her, you don’t have to stop doing what you like and love and you don’t have to kiss her ass”
In my case I dropped everything for two reasons. One was to do what I thought I was supposed to do.. what I heard women say they wanted from a man, what my mother said a man should be etc.. and the second reason was insecurity. I wanted her to love me, I didn’t want to rock the boat, I was scared of losing her.. so eventually I did. I believed that in order for me to be worthy of her, of her love, I had to go along and give her what she said she wanted, what I was taught she wanted.
Is this what Rollo and everyone else is talking about? Because I think I finally get it. Up to now I have faked my Game, to some extent. I just knew better than to do certain things or did things I knew would make me attractive, etc. to women. But seeing this now, not only am I realizing there is nothing to be bitter about – I was always happier working on myself and my interests and actually resentful of having to stop them – but that I am actually happier doing this thing women want of us we call “performing”.
In a way, you are performing, as Rollo says, either way. If you stop and think you can rest, in many ways you are doing so because you have been conditioned to believe, as I was, that you should. That real love meant you could and should.
Anyway, maybe this is simply me and my personal experience of it, but it makes sense to me.. and I think this has revealed to me something monumental, personally. Maybe other guys have a different experience of it, but this is how I have seen it played out in my life.I feel better.
The key to living in a red pill context is to unlearn your blue pill expectations and dreams of finding contentment in them, and replace them with expectations and aspirations based on realistic understandings of red pill truths.
Learn this now, you will never achieve contentment or emotional fulfillment in a blue pill context with red pill awareness.
Killing your inner Beta is a difficult task and part of that is discarding an old, comfortable, blue pill paradigm. For many newly unplugged, red pill aware, men the temptation is to think they can use this new understanding to achieve the goal-states of their preconditioned blue pill ideals. What they don’t understand is that, not only are these blue pill goal-states flawed, but they are also based on a flawed understanding of how to attain them.
Red pill awareness demands a red pill context for fulfillment. Oracle Z wrote a fantastic article on Return of Kings this week called Why you shouldn’t seek emotional fulfillment through women. It’s well worth the read, but what Oracle Z outlines here is a fulfillment based on feminine-primary, blue pill conditions for that contentment. Even when men achieve these blue pill goal-states, the ones they’re conditioned to believe they should want for themselves, they find themselves discontent with those states and trapped by the liabilities of them.
Just as Hobbes illustrated, the periods when he was not striving to achieve or maintain those blue pill goal-states were the times he was most fulfilled with his life, talents and ambitions.
As if this weren’t enough to convince a man he needs to re-imagine himself in a red pill-primary context, when women are presented with ‘the perfect guy‘ in a blue pill context they gradually (sometimes immediately) come to despise him. As proven by their actions, even women don’t want that blue pill perfected goal-state because it stagnates the otherwise exciting, self-important men they are aroused by, and attracted to in a red pill context.
I’ve stated this in prior posts, but it bears repeating,
“Women should only ever be a complement to a man’s life, never the focus of it.”
Living in a blue pill context, and hoping you can achieve fulfillment in its fundamentally flawed goal-states, conditions men to make women the focus of their lives. Throw that hope away and understand that you can create hope in a new system – one in which you have more direct control over.
Has anyone here suffer through the movie Silverlining’s playbook? With hunger games girl and Bradley Cooper? Just watch it last night, and after studying your blog I noticed a lot of things. Basically it’s about a natural Alpha raised with a blue-pill conditioning that he carries with him throughout the whole movie, causing mental problems and a serious case of Oneitis. The whole movie was good though because he unconsciously, being naturally Alpha, structured a way for his neighbor girl to chase him. Looking for social cues, what the girl is thinking in the moment. And is the most Alpha… Read more »
@David, funny, I just watched that movie over the weekend. My first impression was that Cooper’s character was a great example of what happens to a natural Alpha when he’s been condition to blue pill dedication to serving a feminized ideal – to the point of obsessive-compulsiveness. He’s so dedicated to that conditioning that it becomes his pathology – he’s literally institutionalized and drugged in order to cope with that obsessive dedication to a blue pill ideal. Then comes Jennifer Lawrence, the ex-slut who’s still a proud slut and naturally responds to the Alpha beneath the blue pill delusions of…wait… Read more »
”The fishing for attention thing is very true. Taken a certain way, I suppose it could be insulting… but usually it’s just amusing. So little self-awareness and control, so many tells. They can’t help themselves… and they won’t, because they don’t have to… until it’s too late.” Amusing to a certain point. If it happens occasionally it can be entertaining but when it happens every single day without failing and its done to the guy several times a day, it kinda makes me feel like people are retarded. I get it, people like attention. But too much attention-whoring is annoying… Read more »
David, it also shows that tall, very handsome Bradley cooper has to settle with a – admittedly very hot – slut, lol. Can’t see average men get much luckier than that, even Robert Pattison(Twilight) developed oneitis for his very average-looking girlfriend. Seen much better-looking women everyday.
Have you read the book the movie was based on? The guy spends half the book talking about nikki, the ex-wife he put on the pedestal and then he spends the rest of the book male hamstering why he wants the slut he ends up with, lol.
”Then comes Jennifer Lawrence, the ex-slut who’s still a proud slut and naturally responds to the Alpha beneath the blue pill delusions of…wait for it…hopefulness that his dedication will be…wait for it again…appreciated by his ex-wife for that commitment to a blue pill ideal.” No. Jennifer lawrence’s character wanted to bang him right after looking at him, before he even uttered a word. The fact that he was obsessed with his ex did not deter her from wanting to bang the guy. She even offered sex to him on the first night, after seeing how ”beta” he was. I’ve seen… Read more »
The fact that he was obsessed with his ex did not deter her from wanting to bang the guy. No, but his blue pill obsession DID deter him from banging her, thus she was deterred from fucking a perceived Alpha due to his blue pill mindset. A man’s looks are an integral part of what makes him Alpha, but it’s the value of what those looks indicate to women’s limbic awareness that make him Alpha. Think about that, what behavioral traits does a man’s great looks and physique imply to a woman’s subconscious? On a visceral level she’s aroused, but… Read more »
@ Prof VH and others.
‘The best lies are those that contain some truth.’
I dont recall where I read that saying, but it characterizes your position.
You are partially right in that looks do matter to some degree; however your correct assessment that looks do matter, doesn’t mean that everything else is incorrect.
Whenever you find yourself with a simple black and white solution to a complex problem, especially a solution which requires you to do no work, you likely have only a part of the truth, at best, abd that’s being very generous.
@ Plagio Field report about recent stuff: Mid-20s hottie goes with me to my truck to drink a beer. (Part of my social circle. She has made it clear time and again that I’m her favorite dance partner.) She obviously thinks we’re gonna screw. She starts telling me how much more attractive older men are–we’re so confident, chivalrous (lol), etc. She’s mimicking my body language. Obviously looking for a date and knows that at some point sex is on the table and is down with that. College sophomore (call her Q) approaches me at Panera’s to discuss a sf book… Read more »
@von hard/ I myself were good looking as a young guy, and I have to confess that looks are very powerfull weapon when it comes to young women. However you can still fuck it up with real hot ones with meek personality. But, 6 or 7 WILL bang you no matter how retarded you are, provided you are physically able to have sex. This is all you need. Guy with good “game” and average looks can pull good women, I saw a couple of guys doing just that, so its true. But I´ve never seen average guy, with game or… Read more »
Hello Rollo, Thank you for yet another great post that hammers home more truth and reconfirms others. Near the end of last week’s post I asked the following question… “Would you define for us more specifically, concisely, and comprehensively how woman’s deep love for man (when it exists) is manifested; and describe in detail her concept of love as you understand it?” This week’s post perhaps addresses my question somewhat and provides some general insight. However, I am still having trouble completely comprehending woman’s opportunistic love; specifically WHAT do they love. You have stated repeatedly that women love opportunistically. I… Read more »
@George, I actually plan on getting into this topic when I do the Real Christian McQueen show on Saturday, but you should really read the whole Love series. It’ll help you understand what a I mean:
http://therationalmale.com/category/love/
Scroll to the bottom, start at Women in Love (yes again) and work your way up in order. There are 7 essays and they’re not a slog to read through.
Pat particular attention to Of Love and War and Love Story, but do read all of them.
@Rollo,
I ALSO watched the same damn movie this weekend! Ha! Lawrence has starred in numerous feminist fairytales.
“feel good ending with both Alpha and (reformed) slut realizing how perfect they are for each other, they fall in love – the end.”
unhappily ever after…..
As usual another Hollywood feminist imperative production reinforcing blue pill mindset. This is the unrelenting feminist mandate regardless of how complicated, confusing, perverted and convoluted the plots become.
Just a quick announcement to keep you all in the loop, I’ll be a guest on The Real Christian McQueen Show (podcast) this Saturday. I’ll post a brief announcement tomorrow, but if you have topic suggestions you can drop them here:
http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2htwr9/rollo_tomassi_on_the_real_christian_mcqueen_show/
I don’t know if you’re aware Rollo but McQueen was outed for plagiarism a few months back.
See: http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-9856-post-791482.html#pid791482
There’s a reason why all of his ROK posts were deleted, along with his banned account on the RooshVForums.
I know you’ll still go on with the podcast since you want to spread your message, but you should know who you’re dealing with. He really is no different than the other scam artists who leech off the manosphere to make a living. Proceed with caution.
@TruthSayer, I’m aware, but McQueen is a far cry better than going on this guy’s show:
http://shymansdatingschool.com/podcasts/
Turned down the invite thanks to MikeC pointing out this guy’s traffic compared to mine.
Rollo- Thanks, I had already read some of the posts you referenced, just completed the remaining ones. Love – 1. a passionate feeling of romantic desire and sexual attraction 2. an intense feeling of tender affection and compassion Men’s idealistic concept of love is not real. It has never existed, does not and will not exist except in the minds of men who cannot or will not accept this reality. The only real love women have for men is conditional, based upon his performance and desirable characteristics. A man can only be loved by a woman for his value to… Read more »
Women love what a man is first and how well he satisfies optimizing her hypergamy by way of it. She only loves who a man is after that’s been settled and only so long as it remains settled. Men’s idealistic love isn’t based on a want for unconditional love, but rather a reversal of the priorities women place on qualifying their love as I’ve outlined here. Men are conditioned by the fairytales of the Feminine Imperative to believe that’s possible – that he’ll be loved for who he is first and foremost, despite his performance for better and for worse.… Read more »
Thank you, I think I understand you better.
The fairy tales cheat men by putting the cart before the horse so to speak in order to maximize the beta side of hypergamy?
That male idealistic love is founded in a desire for love exempt from hypergamy and performance standards.
Where each male is guaranteed unlimited sex with hot babes regardless of his character or performance……
Is it being deprived of the pleasure of fucking a beautiful woman that hurts? Or is it being deprived of what we believe that beautiful woman represents — the potential fulfillment of our idealistic (blue pill) fantasies? That women can’t love men the way they want to be loved would be a blessing of the highest order in this case. It doesn’t matter how good you look or how ugly you are — there is no unicorn. It doesn’t exist. So if you completely disillusion yourself from blue pill reality and see that women are actually incapable of loving you… Read more »
Don Quixote had his windmills
Ponce de Leon took his cruise
Took Sinbad seven voyages
To see that it was all a ruse
…
All alone on the road to perfection
At the inspection booth they tried to discourage me
You can believe what you want, that’ll never change it
You’ll have to come around eventually
“Both men and women are disposable due to the population numbers we have now . . .”
When faced with a runaway population, such as the Northeast is experiencing with white-tailed deer, hunt the females.
Rollo, I have similar questions as George. I have read your articles on the subject of love many times. I think I understand. Certainly there is no conflict between your explanation of “opportunistic love” and my own experience and observation. I have believing your correct and that this is the truth. The issue for me is I see no value of being the object of such. On the one hand that was huge weight off my shoulders as I no longer have to concern myself with seeking and obtaining the love of a good woman (or any woman). Since what… Read more »
“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.”
~Lao Tzu
@ Hardwigg
“Example, attractive 20 year old girl in the subway kept staring at me. I would stare at her and not move my eyes away from her. ”
Funny, a woman I was on a study date with in college did the exact same thing. She had a boyfriend. I approached this woman to find out what she wanted and she kissed me. Then we made out for a while. Then she became my gf.
Too bad you never approach. Don’t be beta.
Ok @rollo the comment you had referencing a 12 year old Down syndrome anti social kid is right one about the looks. That was a money comment. For those of you getting “banned” from blogs like CH….take it as they are challenging you to go out and game. You wouldn’t be defending that so tough if you have had first hand experience with not very “pretty boys” gaming and fucking girls and “pretty boys” not doing the same. Seriously. 2 months. Go out and put in the work. You will see. This is assuming you aren’t top notch looks. Oh… Read more »
I’ve seen guys approach girls who were giving signals of interest. How it went depended on the man’s looks. Average men were shot down, hot men weren’t. Women do seen to pretend be interested to garnish attention. Anyway, with the amount of vagina-hounds out there it wouldn’t take long. for the woman to jump branch. Women are only loyal to their options.
you just said women are indifferent to average(men who aren’t obese, have a decent face) men but What i notice is how women expect average men to be Mr. Psychologist, bodyguard, walking atm machine etc even if she’s some random average-looking chick you’re crossing on the street Yes. This is true women are indifferent to attraction of average men but are very much dependent on them for validation and obviously, most (all?) of technology/infrastructure/etc. Women are dependent on beta men and far more so than most men will ever realize. Even forgetting about cars, roads, computers and so forth, most… Read more »
Let me rephrase, women will follow strong men. Right now, men tend to follow women (feminine imperative).
@ Tam
RE trollspotting
Trolls see you and say, “Oh damn, it’s Tam the Bam, the spamtroll-spotter.
Did you guys know that a pull a year 2M after taxes? No, its a lie. But you expect people to believe you pull younger women who are hot from young, fit, Handsome men because you have game? Huh, no. Keyboard jockeys festival. When my father had a middle-life crisis he bought a boat. Much better then seeing 35+ year Old men trying to get some from women almost young enough to be their kids. No, i’m not a feminist troll. I’m a guy who laughs at the male hamster that is infinite in “”gamers””
Tell Giggles we said “hi”
Dude What the hell I’ve been told i was a mansphere troll at hookingupsmart because i don’t adhere to the nonsense of women being attracted to dads, not cads. I understand that there’a a cult vibe going on, but you gotta understand that game is dying out. Young men don’t really believe in game for they’ve tried it and failed. Plus most women are familiar with game. And the internet gurus of game will be dead 20 to 30 years from now. Women like Susan walsh, women who try to sell husbands are going out of biz soon.yo bro, young… Read more »
I would say hi to the Old lady but she told me to go back to wife-abuser before she banned me lol. Its kinda cute how you both hate each other but you two are basically trying to sell the same bill of bulshit. Well, at least strauss mad money with his pink fiction lol. Well, have class now, time to see the 30y Old college students trying to get Laid brohug!
[…] Christian woman who blogs. She made the following interesting comment on Rollo Tomasi’s blog: <I>Let me rephrase, women will follow strong men. Right now, men tend to follow women […]
@ Stingray
Let me rephrase, women will follow strong men. Right now, men tend to follow women (feminine imperative).
No disagreement. I responded to you on my blog since my response was lengthy and a field report.
http://theasdgamer.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/dance-connection-response-to-stingray/
@ Plagio the humorous troll But you expect people to believe you pull younger women who are hot from young, fit, Handsome men because you have game? Yes, because it happens to me…a lot. It’s an annoyance since I’m intent on keeping my vows. Been there, done that, without even trying. Women are aroused by dominant men. Younger men lack confidence and, hence, aren’t dominant. Hence, they don’t tingle women. It’s Inner Game, not negs so much. Why do you think that young women complain that all the good men are taken? Young, handsome, fit men just aren’t visible to… Read more »
If Looks are all that matter to women then why is there no market for life-like Alpha Male sex dolls (such as Real Dolls) for women to the same degree there is for men?
@ Softek
Props for Warren Zevon.
Wow. The comments on male love blew me away. My entire blue pill state was a deal to keep a high smv woman, a defense against hypergamy and a tactic to have sex with her even if she is no longer attracted to me. She “owes” me because I’m such a good guy, lol. When I look at my marriage, it’s just so clear. Hot sex almost only came after inducing dread (didn’t see this at the time). My whole approach was “I provide and now u owe me. ” it bothered me to even think that I had to… Read more »
A blue pill mindset is defined by a perpetual state of mate guarding.
@ Will “the comment you had referencing a 12 year old Down syndrome anti social kid is right one about the looks. That was a money comment.” Many good looking men have great social intelligence via the “halo effect” positive feedback loop. But then again, delusional gamers always cling to outliers. “For those of you getting “banned” from blogs like CH….take it as they are challenging you to go out and game.” Holy shit. Just listen to yourself. I’m becoming increasingly convinced that the whole pua-sphere and the mano-sphere is just one big cult-like following. When Aunt Giggles bans or… Read more »
@ Glenn Hot sex almost only came after inducing dread (didn’t see this at the time). From what I can tell, Soft Dread should be continually practiced in marriage in order to keep it healthy. I have been doing it for six months now. I have written a post about Soft Dread in the Song of Solomon. My whole approach was “I provide and now u owe me. ” it bothered me to even think that I had to work to get my wife’s attention It seems that a lot of Blue Pill men think that once vows are taken,… Read more »
FakeMorpheus “You don’t seem to understand hypergamy very well, so you’re dismissed.”
SocialJusticeWarrior cliché, that. Are you going to start demanding “citations” next? Or randomly howling “Wow, just wow” etc.
That’s because all women have more readily available options than men do. A female 5 is way different from a male 5 in terms of SMV. I knew a girl who once told me, ” Even though I have no guy friends, I know I could easily lose my viriginity at anytime I feel like it.” All women subconsciously know this, don’t kid yourself Rollo. You yourself said that looks are of primary importance to young women. FakeMorpheus, Is this some new math here where 5 doesn’t equal 5. Go back to 1st grade math. By definition a male 5… Read more »
@ Plagio the troll living in his own fantasy world Dude, give it a rest. You’re clearly living in a past era if you honestly believe young women find young men invisible to them. LOL, wake up and smell the coffee grandpa. Young men were congratulating me at a hookup venue recently for getting hotties to dance with me. They said that I was an inspiration to them. The hotties weren’t dancing with other men very much. In college, women limit themselves to young men they know. Once they leave college and go to bars, they are aroused by Real… Read more »
@ Plagio the wandering troll There must be a catapult in Mordor from which you’ve gone missing. As Rollo has pointed out, men in their early 30s on average have the highest SMV’s. Social contexts may alter SMV’s somewhat, such as a dance venue. An older man may show youthful grace while dancing and create the perception that he is young in women who observe his dancing. Been there, done that, women thought I was in my early 40s. Check Rollo’s SMV graph for men in their early 40’s–it’s not dropped much from the early 30’s. Add in the social… Read more »
The Hen House’s 7 approved commenters get off on the indignation that 28 y.o. women find 38 y.o. men attractive. In an era of open hypergamy, when men are well aware of women’s AFBB sexual strategy, shaming men doesn’t work anymore, so the reductio ad absurdum becomes one of “LOL, wake up and smell the coffee grandpa. 22 y.o. hotties don’t dig you geriatric 60 y.o. KJ’s, hurr, hurr!” You’re clearly living in a past era if you honestly believe young women find young men invisible to them. And you’re clearly not living in a post-hypergamy awareness era if you… Read more »
Next time you’re over at Hooking Up Hens, you might ask Giggles why she hasn’t touched this article yet:
http://www.xojane.com/sex/30-is-the-new-50-old-age-is-killing-my-dating-life
She’s still semi-hot, former model, shouldn’t she be interested in 23 y.o. dudes?
Hi Rollo, Would you consider drawing a arrowed picture of the male life cycle as you did for the female life cycle. This is not the same as the SMV graph which was done with curves, but it was the physicality –>, status provisioning –>, alpha re-interest, etc. Many of your readers are in their 20’s (myself included) and it would be enlightening to have our future foretold, especially so we can avoid selling ourselves short with an early marriage –> divorce. Early marriage = divorce I’ve FINALLY discovered that! You could do a 2 paths diverged in the woods… Read more »
@Nathan, you’re very perceptive – a portion of my next book has a chapter dedicated to exactly what you’ve described.
I just realized that it’s my post Rollo has quoted.. I’ve been so inundated with school, I hadn’t had the chance to come here and read the new post. I have so many thoughts surrounding this topic that I’d take up pages getting them out. I’ll simplify by saying this for now.. Getting it, understanding it and finally seeing it is transfomative, and, as always, very hard. How to proceed from here, imagining a new path, and a new way forward…it’s definitely a challenge. But it has eased the tightness in my chest, the inner rage.. I’m finding myself still,… Read more »
@ theasdgamer
Still hoping on him getting inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Always good to know someone else who’s a fan of his work.
I figured you guys might get a kick out of this.
Bill Burr describes women’s invasion of the male space on Conan:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWhZ2XS08aQ
Notice the majority of the crowd’s reaction. He’s saying too much truth for their liking.
@ Rollo Wait until the college guys graduate and hit the bars and try to cold-approach women, quaking in their boots. heh You know, I didn’t do cold approaches for decades since I was spending all my time working and raising kids and our social life consisted of movies and restaurants and a few dinner dates with another married couple. No dancing except for a few studio group lessons. A year ago I took up ballroom dancing, followed by country in Jan. Cold-approaching has never been a problem for me since I started doing it at 15. I don’t typically… Read more »
Rollo, I thought you might like this great (inadvertent) bit of truth from a new study on marriage by Pew (via NPR). “Men were less likely than women to have never tied the knot, and the less educated those men were, the less likely they were to marry. That wasn’t true for women: Women of all education levels were about as likely to not be married.” The ugly truth: Poor guys have a hard time attracting wives, and unattractive women have a hard time attracting husbands. Male MMV depends on achievement, Female MMV is independent of achievement. In other words,… Read more »
Two teachers ( and they’re both attractive) have a threesome with a 16yr old student: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/01/shelley-dufresne-teacher-sex-rachel-respess_n_5915244.html I remember Rollo saying something along the lines of, “As technology advances, women’s primacy will become increasingly noticeable.” One of the women has a husband from which she had three kids with. Say it with me: Hypergamy doesn’t care about the children. Hypergamy doesn’t care that you’re a devoted husband. Hypergamy doesn’t care about….ah, you guys get the point. Also, I heard the teenager has a videotape where he drums their faces with his dick. LOL. If that isn’t Alpha, I don’t know what… Read more »
The tenets of RP are a lot like Zen koans, as you work on your own self improvement you begin to “Get it”, bit by bit. As far as what women are attracted to it depends on the moment, if she’s pissed at her man some would rawdog with Jabba the Hutt in a Mall parking lot as a way of revenge.
Thanks Rollo!
Re: teachers with student. It wasn’t his looks. Yes, I know.
Stingray says, understandably but wrongly, “women will follow strong men”. I’m not even going to bother debating about “strong”. Adam was much stronger than Eve, and God infinitely stronger than that, and she followed neither until forced to.
Rollo says instead “A blue pill mindset is defined by a perpetual state of mate guarding.” As is often the case with his pithier condensations, this is so right it’s hard to see (unless you already know it) and unpack it for yourself. A woman will follow a man she needs to mateguard.
@ The Ronin
As far as what women are attracted to it depends on the moment, if she’s pissed at her man some would rawdog with Jabba the Hutt in a Mall parking lot as a way of revenge.
Probably not picky about the location. Any old Johnny On the Spot will do as well. Probably video it, too.
@ jf12
Good to see you again.
A woman will follow a man she needs to mateguard.
And, of course, whine at him for not mateguarding himself adequately.
Fundamentally, the RP is a lot like Zen. It is about embracing your inner energy and enjoying life for its own sake. All real-world projections of happiness such as wealth, status, etc. are still blue-pill constructions of what “should” make us happy. Women naturally want to follow the man with the most life energy, because that is the only real route to happiness. That is what Alpha is all about. Looks are an important part of the equation, because one’s physical body is an important indication of our life energy, but obviously, other displayed factors (e.g. creativity, determination) can override… Read more »
Hi Rollo,
As you are a psychologist major, I recommend this excellent documentary (free to watch):
http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/the-century-of-the-self/
@jf12 “Re: teachers with student. It wasn’t his looks. Yes, I know.” I’m not big on the discussion of looks here because it’s often way too exaggerated but to think that these teachers simply banged the kid for anything other than something physical is still a bit foolish. He’s a 16 year old boy, what does he honestly have to provide aside from anything Alpha Fucks related? I’ve seen pictures of the kid (from the news story I posted) and he is definitely a somewhat handsome kid. His twitter page and facebook were leaked out on some forums. He sort… Read more »
AFBB, women dualistic sexual strategy in action
Women are notorious for drawing attention they don’t actually want. Attention that will turn into sex. Thinking of college, I remember seeing chicks with their butt cheeks hanging out of their shorts, They would flirt with older men, unattractive men because every guy is still a source of dat coveted male attention. very beautiful women. The type of girl I like to call ”professional football player squeeze.” These are the chicks who can only be afforded by rich men. There were others, attractive enough chicks you could date if you bothered talking to them, but here’s the thing. You guys… Read more »
@Plagio October 1st, 2014 at 11:45 am Did you guys know that a pull a year 2M after taxes? No, its a lie. But you expect people to believe you pull younger women who are hot from young, fit, Handsome men because you have game? Huh, no. Keyboard jockeys festival. When my father had a middle-life crisis he bought a boat. Much better then seeing 35+ year Old men trying to get some from women almost young enough to be their kids. No, i’m not a feminist troll. I’m a guy who laughs at the male hamster that is infinite… Read more »
”Attention that will turn into sex. ”
i mean women see male attention from two perspectives.
Average looking men = you can look and desire me but you can’t touch me.
Are you a 25 year old Oliver Khan? then come bang me silly.
”There are a FEW younger guys who are sexually confident and attractive enough to bed girls regularly. But this is not true for a large majority. Most are unconfident, insecure, not very attractive, physically undeveloped and unfortunately (because our current social acceptance of excuses and laziness) are afraid to assume leadership roles including and especially with sex.” Maybe over there in America, and maybe that’s where plagio is from,, but if you were to visit Scandinavia and Germany and the places near those regions/Country you’d see something different. over here, I see hundreds of men, everyday, who would be considered… Read more »
re: “some physical component of attraction here”
Nobody says otherwise. In contrast, everyone who says “The only thing that counts is handsomeness” is completely wrong.
^ Come to Europe and try game, I’ve seen good-looking older men with money trying to game/woo/court/whatever the only women worth having and they all failed. Its the truth, if you are in an environment which has far more women than men, like European colleges, you can find yourself a girlfriend without much work, and she can’t be good-looking enough, whereas you are nothing special. But that’s one girlfriend. Its not an harem of chicks like Ramses II had in his prime. And anyway, Alphas don’t date, they pump and dump, the girl would eventually feel you to be a… Read more »
she can’t be good-looking enough,
she can be good-looking enough to induce a boner without the aid of porn or viagra, but they aren’t hot enough to get the respect from my buddies. Imagine how my father would think highly of me if I was to bring home to visit a girl like I see everyday. But that won’t happen if I don’t become rich lol.
On the looks issue, Good Looking Looser said that in an environment, where you can’t use Game, Looks are everything. Example are loud dance clubs, where women go to find the Top 1% tall male models for that fantasy fucking that she will hide in her memory from her future LTR “friend”. But there are countless examples of mediocre looking men who get hot women, because they have something else in the Top 1%. It needs to be anything that EXCITES. Maybe Game can not increase your league to 10/10, but without Game you are playing in the bottom leagues… Read more »
@ Hardwiggs
And anyway, Alphas don’t date, they pump and dump, the girl would eventually feel you to be a beta.
Lots of alphas run harems and have LTRs.
True arousal is the only thing that matters and that is when male physical beauty comes into play.
Take your codswallop and leave, troll. Don’t let the door hit you in he @$$ on your way out.
@ john
On the looks issue, Good Looking Looser said that in an environment, where you can’t use Game, Looks are everything. Example are loud dance clubs,
This is drivel. Inner Game always shows up in the way you walk, the way you hold women’s gaze, etc. If it’s a loud dance club, you ask a woman to dance with your body language. Then you relocate to some quiet area–maybe another bar or go for a walk, etc.
@ Hardwiggs
Even the women are 6 feet tall or taller with flat shoes. Its really amazing, like visiting the heavens or something, if you spend a few days in the cold lands of Northern Europe.
I remember a lovely 6’3 Scandinavian blonde named Birgit who was always thrilled to dance with me–I’m under 6′.
Don’t you know where the exit is?
And did you bang her? Look mate, its quite easy to talk to women. They’re basically grown-up children, its easy to make them laugh, and they always respond ”positively” to flirting, as its a way they have to feel good about themselves, and its also training for when they see that 6’6” stone-cut jawline Alpha.
Now, to bang them? Who cares if they dance with us? They’re not banging the shorties.
”This is drivel. Inner Game always shows up in the way you walk, the way you hold women’s gaze, etc. If it’s a loud dance club, you ask a woman to dance with your body language. Then you relocate to some quiet area–maybe another bar or go for a walk, etc.” Dude, what? From what I’ve seen, women approach men they are attracted to. Never in my life have I seen men approach women and I’ve been to most of the most beautiful vagina-Countries(I’ve never been to South America or Africa, I’m not interested in 3rd world Countries where women… Read more »
Dude, I’m not an attractive guy, I actually see myself as a Quasimodo among these Scandinavian gods, and I never lack for ”attractive”(for most men, I guess) women staring and glancing, and playing with their hair and drawing attention to themselves, but that’s the thing. They probably do it to every john and dick, to either get attention or to have t he guy $$ on them. My ”inner” game? LOL, I’ll hold eye-contact with women, I’ll even do it with men, doesn’t matter how tall he is or how stronger he is. Usually most men and women look down… Read more »
How interesting. Well at least Roosh is getting rid of the right people now. Hey, Roosh! Wanna come over for Thanksgiving? A couple days with us will have you right as rain. It is so beautiful here with the fall foliage and the crisp air. The waves are calling you…roosh, roosh… Course you should expect to be pressed into service doing some raking, but you can pick the dessert. And you should be warned we will be visiting the pet store as my daughter has been promised a hamster. lol Oh, and I think I found the girl for you.… Read more »
jf12,
I was using strong as a synonym for dominant. And Adam did not tell her, “No”.
Adam undoubtedly did tell Eve not to eat or touch the fruit. You can’t build doctrine on what the Bible doesn’t say.
He ate the fruit. He didn’t tell her, “No”.
True. He decided to die with her. He knew what he was doing, but he was just too romantic.
But she had *already* eaten it despite being told no *before*. It isn’t the man (or God) being goodly strong, or goodly dominant, or goodly manly, that makes the woman do right. What works, unfortunately, is her fear and dread of him (and Him), that he would harm her, abandon her, etc.
He decided to die with her. He knew what he was doing, but he was just too romantic.
It does not say this. As you said, you cannot build doctrine from why the Bible doesn’t say.
What works, unfortunately, is her fear and dread of him,
I don’t disagree. But I think a man can be “goodly dominant” and still accomplish these things. Fear and dread are not only instilled by “bad” or evil.
As regards fear of Him, most often it is Men of the church that instill this fear in women. Not fear of God.
@professor, “Dude, I’m not an attractive guy, I actually see myself as a Quasimodo among these Scandinavian gods” Thanks for finally coming out with it, you have now said in essence, you don’t love yourself. Your self loathing is now completely in focus and it points to why you do not have any understanding of what Alpha actually is, never mind what it feels like to be there in those shoes, good looking or not. As long as you hate yourself, you will have that sickly Beta smell about you and your worldview will continue unabated as it is. I… Read more »
Love myself? What do you mean love myself? I admit that I look like a Quasimodo when compared with the people from the north of Europe. Sure, I might be ”attractive” in Southern Europe, but Southern Europe people look like gypsies and most of them can’t even hold down a job, and its not like they enjoy working at all. I don’t have to hate myself to consider myself way below the best Europe has to offer. I’m just honest. Look, I know you people love exotic-looking women and all that, but Southern European women have very nasty personalities, are… Read more »
@Stingray re: “It does not say this.”
Actually it does. The discussion of these matters in 1 Timothy 2:11-14 maybe illuminating.
re: “Fear and dread are not only instilled by “bad” or evil.”
I used to think it was possible for women to reverence good men.
jf12;
That Timothy passage appears to be talking about the original transgression of Eve being tempted. It doesn’t say anything about Adam’s temptation by Eve.
Adam was punished for listening to his wife. That was his sin. It doesn’t say why he did it.
The story of Adam and Eve is an allegory. Why are we debating what “actually” happened in in this allegory?
This has no bearing on red pill conversations at all. Perhaps such a conversation would be better suited for a forum that hosts theological discussions.
Apologies.
@ Professor And did you bang her? This is an invalid test. I keep my vows. I’ve dropped a fair number of panties and know how to read women quite well. Let’s consider a case where I did bang a hottie even though I didn’t have the looks. When I was in college, I had a fling with a beautiful blonde (I estimate a 9) about the time I turned 19. She was 20 y.o. I was 5’7″ and 125 lbs. She was 5’6″ and 135 lbs. or so. I was kissably-handsome (about an 8). Looks weren’t enough, though. I… Read more »
The fruit is not literal. The Bhagavad Gita teaches us to relinquish the fruits of our actions, which means to act without attachment to outcomes. So, picking the fruit is a way of circumventing the natural order: taking God’s Knowledge directly from the tree instead of allowing it to fall from the tree when it is ripe (implying the passage of time). Its about seeking immediate results instead of going through the process. The Gita says we must act, and our actions must be sattvic. It explains: “…when, out of duty, a man performs an obligatory action, relinquishing all results-… Read more »
@Stingray re: “It doesn’t say anything about Adam’s temptation by Eve.” Yes, it says he was not deceived. It is doctrinal, crucial to soteriology, that Adam deliberately sinned with full knowledge aforethought. He knew Eve had transgressed, and he chose to join her in death in fulfillment of his (earlier!) prophecy (Genesis 2:24). Ask your pastor if you think otherwise. This is all very red pill. 1) The Man did things for highly romantic reasons, and for highly momentous reasons. The Woman did things for highly trivial reasons “ooh, shiny!”, and highly unromantic even caustic reasons “if I’m going to… Read more »
” The Gita says we must act, and our actions must be sattvic. It explains: “…when, out of duty, a man performs an obligatory action, relinquishing all results- that relinquishment is called sattvic. The man who is able to relinquish, beyond doubt, does not avoid unpleasant actions, nor is he attached to actions that are pleasant. An embodied being can never relinquish actions completely; to relinquish the results of actions is all that can be required.’ ” Perfect. The goal of the FI made clear. Get men to provide, strive, perform out of duty and obligation with no hope, or… Read more »
The drunken man who isn’t allowed to throw the darts, because even if he aimed “carefully”, staggering and squinting with the wrong eye and taking an inordinate amount of time, he’d still completely miss the dartboard and the wall it was on, being more likely to stab down through the top of his foot or pierce the back of someone standing at the bar way off on one side, when he selfishly and gleefully grabs all the darts and childishly kicks them randomly, bending the points, he’s the happiest one. The others are angry at him specifically *because* he is… Read more »
MikeC pointing out this guy’s traffic compared to mine
MikeC has genius beyond comprehension. If you’re a man not reading his blog/listening to his podcast, there are serious issues that need to be worked out.
Doing the CMQ show tomorrow is a good move.
jf12,
Ah but the Gita says acting out if duty or obligation, and being unaffected by any results, correct or otherwise.
You scenario lacks a universal rejection of results, and suggest no duty or obligation. I would counter saying the drunk bending darts is following a path of his housing and intentionally seeking a socially incorrect result, when his duty is to not handle darts in such condition. So yes he is happy, mostly because he chose his own way.
Only when people act on the understanding that fulfilling the expectations of God is it’s own reward can we truly be happy. This has nothing to do with women or the FI, unless you have made women your god. (Not a good idea.) Its about doing what is right regardless of how it will personally affect you in either a positive or negative way. Its about stoicism. Preferring Germans, perhaps you can appreciate that 🙂
God’s expectations are easy to fulfill if one first ignores the expectations, and agendas of the humans. That was Adam’s error listening to a human.
What a shame… Rollo is writing about some very deep and insightful stuff here, and all we got in the comments section is some juvenile debate about looks. Women, children, cats and dogs all prefer to be around good looking people. So whats new? Now what? Your solution, your course of action, is to come to a this board and cry about it? The sad thing is, its as if you guys didn’t even read the article.. this idea that if you were 6ft tall and ridiculously handsome you’d be living large and perfectly loved live is exactly the kind… Read more »
jf12,
Ok. I’m no biblical scholar and I will take your word for it. Let me ask you, what do you think of Vox’s post today. Do you think his advice can make a woman do right and do you think this tactic is bad? And if so, why is it bad?
@Stingray, yes his advice is to be bad. Every single actual specific tactic he advises: use vulgarity, make her cower, etc., all are bad. Also the overall strategy of responding to evil with evil is exactly what the Bible tells us NOT to do. “Turn the other cheek”, “overcome evil with good”, etc., violating also for example Colossians 3:8-12. Yes, being bad is what works with women. It’s a shame. I am loud, and have a deep voice (baritone, but they call it bass these days in comparison). Instinctively animals, and men, cower to me but women do not cower… Read more »
jf12, Minor quibble about turning the other cheek. KJV- “But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.” Given that most people are right handed the only way to be struck on the right cheek is a back hand slap. Insulting, and demeaning. Turning the left cheek is a challenge to the striker to try it again as a punch. It’s advice for holding frame, and a demand to respected as a man. “Resist not evil” is a call for introspection to be clear… Read more »
What Badpainter said. And I think that submitting to a wife who would run roughshod over you is not loving (agape). And it is certainly not evil to make someone fear or cower who would do you wrong. To teach her, even with some fear, is to love her. Look, you and I definitely have differing views of what constitutes evil and you will never change my mind. I would tell you to go over to alpha game and give your views there. Let the men there hash it out with you. There are many Christian men there who would… Read more »
You could call it a failing of mine that I cannot evoke Dread and Panic and Fear and Doom upon a woman out of love. Instead, I call it a failing of women that they need to feel Dread.
“You could call it a failing of mine that I cannot evoke Dread and Panic and Fear and Doom upon a woman out of love. Instead, I call it a failing of women that they need to feel Dread.” You have it exactly right. A truly good man would never seek to degrade his woman. And a truly good woman would never make that necessary. Your morality is the most important thing about you. Don’t be swayed. Let bad women be drawn to bad men. Demand that any woman who is with YOU be better than that. You have it… Read more »