Preventative Medicine – Part IV

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From The Myth of the Quality Woman:

Back when he had a terrestrial radio show Tom Leykis did a topic about this: He had everyday women call in and tell their stories of how they used to be sexually (i.e. slutty) and how they are now. He came up with this after driving past a grade school on his way to the studio and seeing all of the women there waiting for their kids to come out and wondered about what their lives used to be like in their childless 20s. This was a wildly popular topic and the confessions just poured in like all of these women had been waiting for years to come clean anonymously about the sexual past that their husbands would never dream they were capable of. Each of these women sounded proud of themselves, almost nostalgic, as if they were some kind of past accomplishments.

This is why I laugh at the concept of the Quality woman. Don’t misinterpret that as a “women = shit” binary opinion. I mean it in the sense that most guy’s concept of a quality woman is an unrealistic idealization. There’s not a guy in the world who committed to monogamy with a woman who didn’t think she was ‘quality’ when he was with her. Even if she was a clinical neurotic before he hooked up with her, she’s still got “other redeeming qualities” that make her worth the effort. It’s only afterwards when the world he built up around her idealization comes crashing down in flames that she “really wasn’t a Quality Woman.”

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The Schism

An interesting internal schism occurs for women during the latter half of the Security and through the Developmental Phase. The first aspect of this psychological schism is a drive for an unalterable sense of security. As she matures, the priority for an enduring security intensifies with each child she bears and / or each life incident where that degree of security is tested.

For the married woman who consolidated upon her best available provider male, this intensification usually manifests itself as a ceaseless series of shit testing, not only over his capacity to consistently deliver an ever increasing need for that provisioning, but also the Alpha suitability she convinced herself that he would mature into later. The primary conflict for her during these phases is that her provider male’s SMV Alpha potential never quite looks like or compares with the idealized memories of the Alpha men she entertained in her party years.

I’ve written several essays regarding the dynamics of the Alpha Widow, but at no other phase of a woman’s life is she more prone to mourning a prior Alpha lover than when she enters the Developmental stage. This is when the security a woman was so incensed to in her Epiphany Phase becomes a burden, but still a necessity of her life. Unless a man has reinvented himself and capitalized on his SMV potential so significantly as to separate himself from the prior impression of ‘providership acceptability’ a woman initially expected of him, five minutes of Alpha experience will always trump 5-10 years of Beta dedication.

If women can realize the Alpha Fucks aspect of hypergamy during her party years, and then realize the Beta Bucks aspects of hypergamy after the Epiphany Phase, then the internal schism a woman experiences in her Developmental phase becomes the difference between her reconciling those two aspects within the man she’s currently paired with.

The second aspect of this schism is a marked re-interest in the Alpha attributes of either the man she’s currently paired with, or the Alpha attributes of men outside that pairing. This side of the schism is particularly frustrating for both Alpha and Beta men paired to a woman experiencing it.

Deal with It

The more an Alpha man actualizes his SMV potential – through maintained (or improved)  looks, career, maturity, affluence, status, etc. – the more a woman’s need for enduring security becomes threatened as her SMV consistently decays in comparison. A woman’s logical response to this new form of competition anxiety usually manifests in two ways.

The first being an intense motivation to domineer and control her relationship by placing herself in a dominant role. She assumes (or attempts to assume) headship of the marriage / relationship by way of convenient conviction or from a self-created sense of her husband’s (really all men’s) untrustworthiness bolstered by social conventions that insist women need to be the head of the house (i.e. “she’s the real boss, heheh”). Her insecurity about her own comparative SMV manifests in her demanding he ‘do the right thing’ and limit his SMV potential for the sake of a more important role as her (and their family’s) dutiful provider.

Of course the problem with this is that a man acquiescing to such dominance not only loses out on his capacity to maximize his SMV peak potential, but also confirms for his wife that his status isn’t as Alpha as he’s confident it is. This Alpha disenfranchisement will play a significant part in a woman’s Redevelopment phase.

The second logical response is apathy and resentment. A disconnect from her SMV peaking mate may seem like a woman’s resigning herself to her non-competitive SMV fate, but it serves the same purpose as a woman’s insistence for relational dominance – an assurance of continued security and provisioning as the result of his limiting his SMV potential. This apathy is, by design, paired with the guilt that her mate is more focused on his own self-development than the importance he should be applying to her and any family. The result becomes one of a man chasing his own tail in order to satisfy this passive insecurity and failing passive shit tests.

In either instance the seeds of a man’s decline are rooted in his ability to identify this schism in relation to how it aligns with his SMV potential at the same time it affects his long term partner. The problem with the schism is that for all the limitations a woman would emplace against a man actualizing his SMV potential, the same limitations will also constitute a significant part of her justification for being dissatisfied with him during her Redevelopment phase.

Redevelopment / Reinsurance

The Redevelopment phase can either be a time of relational turmoil or one of a woman reconciling her hypergamous balance with the man she’s paired with.

The security side of this hypergamous balance has been established for her long term satisfaction and the Alpha reinterest begins to chafe at the ubiquitous certainty of that security. Bear in mind that the source of this certainty need not come from a provider male. There are a lot of eventualities to account for. It may come from a ‘never married’ woman’s capacity to provide it for herself, the financial support levied from a past husband(s) or father(s) of her children, government subsidies, family money, or any combination thereof.

In any event, while security may still be an important concern, the same security becomes stifling for her as she retrospectively contemplates the ‘excitement’ she used to enjoy with former, now contextually Alpha, lovers, or perhaps the “man her husband used to be”.

Dalrock has long covered the topic of women entering the Eat, Pray, Love phase very well, coining the term “She was unhaaaaaappy,..” This is the justification call of for women entering the Redevelopment phase.

Depending on when she consolidated on long term monogamy, her kids are at, or almost at an age of real independence. It may even be at the “20 year itch” empty nest stage I described in the last essay, but there is a fundamental reassessment of the man she’s paired with and how his now realized SMV potential has either proved a good bet, or a disastrous misstep. And as with the various prior phases of maturity, she finds there are convenient social conventions already pre-established for her to help justify the decisions she’ll make as a result of this reassessment.

The binding, cooperative arrangements of childrearing that necessitated her drive for security gradually decrease in importance, giving way to a new urgency – pairing with someone “she really connects with” before her (imagined or otherwise) SMV / looks are entirely spent on the provider male she now loathes the idea of spending a future with. This is the turning point at which most Beta men, hopefully reliant upon the false notions of Relational Equity, find themselves on the sharp end of the feminine hypergamy they cognitively dissociated themselves from for a lifetime.

It’s not all doom and gloom however. Depending upon a woman’s degree of self-awareness and realism about her late-stage SMV, the decision may simply be one of pragmatism – she understands she’s with the man who can now best embody a hypergamic balance for her in the long term – or she genuinely has a long term (feminine defined) love and affinity for the man she’s paired with, who finally Just Gets It. Other considerations factor in as well; it’s entirely possible his SMV peak will endure longer than her reassessment of him will take to determine, religious conviction may play a (albeit sometimes convenient) part in this reassessment, or she may realistically assess her own SMV as decayed to a point where staying with her provider male is her only tenable option.

There’s an interesting trend in the divorcing schedules of Baby Boomers that strongly correlate with this Redevelopment phase reassessment I’ve described here – it’s called Grey Divorce:

Americans over 50 are twice as likely to get divorced as people of that age were 20 years ago.

Jim Campbell, 55, of Boulder, Colo., says he and his wife grew apart after 34 years together. “The No. 1 best thing in common that my ex-wife and I had was raising kids,” Campbell says. When their two sons grew up, he says, “we just didn’t have enough activities, passions, interests that were in common. And when the boys were gone, that just became more and more — to me — obvious.”

As is the wont for a feminized media, the focus is on men who divorce their wives, but statistically it’s women who initiate over 70% of all divorces. It’s important to bear that in mind when considering the psychological impetus for women’s Redevelopment phase. In spite of that oversight, the ‘grey divorce’ stats dovetail with this mid-late life reassessment.

In the interest of fairness, a woman can also find herself forced into this Redevelopment as the result of a man who’d come to realize his SMV peak and became actively aware of how hypergamy had influenced his decisions for him. There is a minority of men who take the red pill or otherwise and exit a marriage they’d been ‘settled’ on for, or they may in fact want to redevelop themselves for the same reasons women make the reassessment and capitalize on what value their SMV has.

Regardless of how she comes to it, nothing is more daunting for a woman than to reenter the sexual market place at such a severe disadvantage. After the Wall, women dread the idea of having to start over in a sexual market place in which they are grossly outmatched, so even the slightest deviation from the ‘security forever’ script becomes a major ego threat. If that security is more or less assured, there are feminine social conventions ready to make that prospect more palatable. ’40 is the new 30′, “you still got it”, and of course the strong independent woman® brand offers a plan for ‘cougardom’.

Depending on a woman’s relative SMV (that is to say amongst her generation’s peers) she may entertain these convention more or less successfully, but this reinvention of a woman’s party years, still suffers from a need to reestablish a semblance of security after a point. While it may be ‘exciting’ to relearn how to maneuver in a new SMP, the underlying desire is still one of security.

Late Phase Security

Finally we come full circle and back to, an albeit new interpretation of, the same security a woman sought after her Epiphany Phase. During this late phase, that may last from a woman’s late 40’s, 50’s or even indefinitely, as a result of an inevitable SMV decay, the security side of a woman’s hypergamy swings into its final, permanent, position. It’s important to make the distinction that this security isn’t necessarily founded on financial provisioning, but rather an emotional, intimate dependence and acceptance for a woman from an acceptably masculine man – often in spite of a past that she would rather be (expects to be) forgiven for by virtue of her age and her perceived experiences.

While she may experience some desire to live vicariously through the experiences her now grown daughters or younger female friends in various phases themselves, her message to them is one of precaution, but tempered with the subconscious awareness of how hypergamy has set the frame for her past. This is the phase during which (hypocritically) women tend to cognitively rewrite their past for what they believe should be the benefit of younger women.

As an aside, I should point out that with the advent of the internet and the permanency of all things digital, this is becoming increasingly more difficult for mid-life women.

This is the phase during which a woman not only desires secure acceptance of who she is from a suitable man, but it’s also the phase she attempts to create a secure social paradigm for herself. To be sure this drive is firmly couched in a woman’s innate solipsism, but her desire for security extends beyond a want for her own personal, assured security, and to woman-kind in whole.

Women in this phase may be concerned for the futures of their daughters – and sons who may come into contact with women following the same hypergamic paradigm she used on their fathers – but the concern is voiced for society and women as a whole. Rarely is this social concern an admission or testament of her own regret, but rather it’s something she must address to reconcile the parts of her past, the undeniable results of her hypergamy, that  she can’t escape.

Once menopause ensues that retrospective need becomes more urgent.

Conclusion

I understand that this series probably wont address particular personal issues some readers will want it to, but that’s what comment threads are for. As I stated when I started this series, I could probably write a more comprehensive book about this entire process – I may do just that at some point.

I also understand that while I can provide this outline, it doesn’t really go in depth into how a man might use this knowledge to his best advantage with a particular woman. However, my hope is that it will put certain behaviors and mindsets you find in a woman, and how they align or don’t align with this outline, into something more understandable for your individual experience. This is in no way comprehensive or meant to account for every woman’s circumstance, but rather to help a man with what he can expect in various phases.

It’s preventative medicine, not a cure to any particular disease.

Thanks for sticking with this.

RT

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Kate
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Well, you could continue to put together yearly collections as well as write separate books. So, this series would be part of the Year Three book, but be more fully developed in its own book. Or You could enhance the yearly books by including new information not found in the blog entries. In that case, the Year Three book would have your further elaborations that were never posted. Or You could make this topic the focus of your Year Three book by writing new blog posts on your expansion of it. Those new blog posts would also be included in… Read more »

Steve H
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Rollo – I think there is a *huge* empty void in the marketplace for a full-length book. A book that is the go-to for guys who are thinking about tying the knot. As in a wise older mentor/brother/friend/uncle approaching the lovestruck young buck and saying, in hushed tones: “before you propose/go through with the wedding, read this book ‘Preventative Medicine’ by Rollo Tomassi” with a slight nod and a wry smile. I’m not aware of any book that serves this purpose that isn’t risibly chock full of bullshit. E-books are popular, but they are a dime a dozen. Maybe I’m… Read more »

BlackPoisonSoul
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@Star-Lord – the purpose of my life is not to make a woman happy or to provide her with substance to maintain her fairytale illusion. I have said this type of thing many times to women. I cannot make a woman happy, only she can do this. The best that I can do is enhance her existing inner happiness. This is ironic given that many women proudly proclaim their independence and at the same time are desperately looking for a man who will make her happy. @Rollo – if you would, please make this series a separate e-book. In my… Read more »

eon
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@ BlackPoisonSoul From SSM: “I would like to let readers know that I have reached the very difficult decision to stop writing my blog. This is a sad and hard post for me to write, but I feel that an explanation ought to be given here. I have been the victim of a vicious (and needless) smear campaign; this is not a problem per se, but my children have been brought into it and their safety and security has been compromised. As a mother, I cannot continue to write this blog if it endangers my family.” Did you notice what… Read more »

girlwithadragonflytattoo
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^hm… I know I got into it with SSM over her tactics of attacking whores and prostitutes for being what they are. Her self-righteousness was really disturbing because she is Christian, and Jesus was merciful to fallen women. It’s weird I have compassion for her over this strange scandal… whether she was fooling everyone or not, she is still a person. I think that when you go after people like she did (brutally attacking people when they are down), you kind of get the same treatment eventually. I know I have in my life, and I’ve seen many others have… Read more »

eon
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@ girlwithadragonflytattoo “I think that when you go after people like she did (brutally attacking people when they are down), you kind of get the same treatment eventually.” Could you provide links to some specific examples of this, “brutally attacking people when they are down”? And “scandal” is not the proper word to use here, as applying to everyone involved. There is a difference between her and her opponents, you know, the ones who fabricated and misrepresented. I recall that she was accused of “of attacking whores and prostitutes for being what they are”, when she used Bible verses as… Read more »

blurkel
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I also have an engineer tale. While still in school, we had a late spring snowstorm during class. One of the engineering students had his fender crushed by someone else leaving the parking spot ahead of him (curbside parking). He’s standing there with a bunch of his chums, and they are all pondering what to do about this, as they had to get to work. i come by, and ask if he’s got a bumper jack (this was back when most cars did), and proceeded to pull out the fender so that he could steer. one of these mental giants… Read more »

jf12
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@blurkel, yes, partly it is due to missing out on the experiences, but partly it is due to too much serenity in the belief that “someone” will bail them out. I bet in both our examples the person would have figured it out if they were stuck on a deserted highway w/o phone service.

jf12
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Matrix-wise, we’ve made it easy for women to live their lives this way. I think the only possible way to get women to tend to live a different kind of life is to make living this way as uncomfortable as possible. But since even slut shaming is off the table, I don’t see what tools we have left except apocalyptic.

blurkel
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@gwadragonflytattoo

I respect religious people who show their religiiousity through their actions. Those who have to orate their religiousity are posers who only fool themselves with their pompous verbiage.

girlwithadragonflytattoo
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hmm… Eon she didn’t just use bible verses to condemn people… she loved (enjoyed) and constantly engaged in “slut-shaming,” and encouraged her followers and commenters to do that kind of disturbing harassment/bullying as well (which means she not only did something really disturbing and sinful, she actually led other people to think that slut-shaming is biblical and right… she led people astray… purposefully. It’s actually one of the worst things a leader can do, and leaders are always under pressure, and will always be judged (by God and by people) harsher because of their great influence. When you have that… Read more »

Tam the Bam
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blurkel, Euro engineering experience at its finest would have persuaded the savvy student to get a French-made car.
That fender would simply have dropped off onto the pavement at the slightest nudge. Probleme, officier?

eon
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@ girlwithadragonflytattoo “hmm… Eon she [SSM] didn’t just use bible verses to condemn people… she loved (enjoyed) and constantly engaged in “slut-shaming,” and encouraged her followers and commenters to do that kind of disturbing harassment/bullying as well (which means she not only did something really disturbing and sinful, she actually led other people to think that slut-shaming is biblical and right… she led people astray… purposefully. … but she really messed up, and God doesn’t let his own children get away with things like that. It isn’t good for us to get away with behavior like that, we don’t grow… Read more »

blurkel
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So! I have finally located that last Edsel’s owner!

LSCS
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Rollo, Since you asked, here’s what I’d like to see: I purchased your first book and enjoyed it thoroughly. I remarried last year, and its content helps prevent me from losing attraction. There are several men (young & old) I know well who I’m motivated to share the original RM with. But I hesitate because of the references to some of the PUA sites and the quotes from blog commentators identified only by their handles. I think you could reach a larger audience and make this important message accessible to more men with a more (sorry to say) mainstream presentation.… Read more »

GhostOfJefferson
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@bbb One of the best things about getting older is that the male sex drive also diminishes. We must have different definitions of older. I’m in my mid 40’s and while not as peppy as when I was 17 (hell, that’s true of any random 23 year old as well), the drive is still very, very strong. Weight training produces higher T and I have other high T habits and hobbies, so that likely explains it. That said, lower drive in “older” men my age is likely due to men doing nothing now but sitting at home waiting hand and… Read more »

GhostOfJefferson
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@ girlwithadragonflytattoo

Slut shaming is GOOD. There needs to be a stigma attached to women losing control of themselves.

Pellaeon
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Im going to echo what others have said: definitely include it in its own book. I find that books are extremely helpful for train rides (both metro and cross country). Internet service will be spotty at best, and sometimes there is no one I want to hit on, so a book is perfect to keep boredom at bay. I took married man sex life with me on one of the 15 hour train rides I’ve had to make. This series is just too good to not dedicate an entire book too. You’re covering ground that has only really been indirectly… Read more »

ThomasB
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Can someone fill me in on the term “passive shit testy?” The term seems to make sense, but I wasn’t too be clear since I think it describes what I’m seeing.

Tam the Bam
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” hyperemic optimization” .. say wut?
We had one o’ them once, but the main flywheel broke.
I guess you mean it’s like what the Wee-Man-Formerly-Known-As sang ..

Maybe you’re just like my mother
She’s never satisfied (She’s never satisfied)
Why do we scream at each other?
This is what it sounds like – when doves cry

jf12
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@Tam, my vocab gets a workout on these sites, probably more than ever before in my life. And the concepts! Acceptably *optimized* engorgement! “Lessee if it’s optimized yet.”

jf12
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Given that girl game is NOT about attracting men, but rather about rejecting undesired men in faster/better/cheaper ways, it occurs to me that shit testing fulfills dual purposes as girl game. If the man fails the test and goes away, that’s good. And if the man fails the test but sticks around to eat more of her guff, that’s even better, since now he’s made it clear he’ll be a fine beta orbiter.

strauMan (@strauMan)
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Slut shaming is a means to control women’s behavior as much as “Man-up!” is a means of controlling men’s behavior–both induce forms of guilt and punishment. Personally the more I learn about the female persuasion the more jaded I get. I love women and love to love women; however, it is becoming more difficult to see women as long-term partners. The inevitable battle with hypergamy, the notorious Hamster, typical emotional swings, etc. The time it takes to screen out the good ones, the seemingly declining number of “good ones”. TV delivers so many bad messages to women. The ideas it… Read more »

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jf12

Since women tend to have the mentality of scarity, they panick at the drop of a hat and think the very worst has happened. If the computer stops working, they automatically assume the worst case scenario and that the problem is incredibility difficult and complex and they are stuffed – victim of complex engineering and all that. Instead of being calm and thinking they can solve the problem themself, they go into panic mode and run around like a headless chook.

jf12
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Re: WCS. That is why it is so difficult (fiendishly complex!) to try to Dread “a little bit”. Recently, I had yet another nice long discussion with my wife about what it means for her to submit, bringing in of course respect but also fear (Ephesians 5:33 says the wife is supposed to fear (phobos) her husband; don’t worry won’t clog up with Bible here). She laughed, and said, as she has before, that of all the emotions she would say I might provoke in her, fear is the last thing that she would think of, and THAT is the… Read more »

jf12
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So, preventatively, young men: do not get into my predicament. Keep some aloofness, and keep her guessing, and keep her *explicitly* fearful you might “do something”. I’m sorry that there is no viable alternative. Women are broken, and do not respect getting love the way that men do love getting respect.

bbb
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Rather than think of women as broken, I prefer to think that their motivations are alien to our own, alien to what we have been raised to believe, alien to what we are even now told by our culture, and most puzzling, completely alien to what women articulate them to be. Men need to accept this and wordlessly move on with the MAP. Fitness, game, assets; soft dread, outcome indifference, and amused mastery when shit tested. Repeat.

gregg
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Shit tests… Rollo, you are essentially wrong. Shit testing is NOT about your confidence or manliness! It is about the degree of your stupidity and weakness. Shit testing is about determining whether the man will stomach ANYTHING rather than leave the woman. In other words woman needs to know, if his libido is strong enough to turn him into brainless slave of hers. She will play hard to get, she will insult and humiliate him, etc. If he aboandons the courtship in frustration or annoyance, she konows that his passion is not strong enough to weather the dissapointment, slavery and… Read more »

Tam the Bam
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“they automatically assume the worst case scenario and that the problem is incredibility difficult and complex and they are stuffed” Sshhh. That’s because I at least always lead them to believe that. e.g. ‘Puter on the fritz,? Oooo (suck teeth, slight shake of head) I’ll have a look, but I can’t promise .. Remove offending box to workshop (previously vacuumed clean). Invariably one of her bloody iMacs. Never learns. Used to be the hinges on the old Mac laptops. Does/did Apple actually employ materials engineers of any description? 0930hrs – 0950hrs. Identify problem, check “parts bin” (large boxes of deceased… Read more »

blurkel
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“I love women and love to love women; however, it is becoming more difficult to see women as long-term partners.” Amen, Reverend! My two Millenial sons have determined this all by themselves with no input from me, even though I could have offered them a great deal if they were of a mind to listen. But their having seen what today’s women have to “offer” versus what the costs of a relationship are with one of them have turned them both off of dating and such. It can and will happen to others as the meme (and Amy Schumer’s “comedy”)… Read more »

Water Cannon Boy
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Some may find this interesting. About a married couple that was together for 70 years.

http://www.freep.com/article/20140419/NEWS07/304190065/ohio-couple-die-15-hours-apart

Softek
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@ Water Cannon Boy: My grandparents were married close to 70 years. My grandpa died in 2012. Grandma’s still alive, but she had to get electroshock therapy because she went psychotic after my grandpa started dying. He had some kind of severe sudden onset dementia after breaking his hip and getting anesthesia and he never recovered from it, it was pretty much 2 years of hell, he didn’t remember anyone, was having hallucinations about being back in WWII, shitting himself, walking around with his pants down, etc. My other grandpa died in 1992. My other grandma’s been living alone ever… Read more »

bbb
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Softek: No doubt your understanding of your grandparent’s marriage life is sincere, but past generations dealt with hypocrisy by ignoring it, not in (foolishly IMHO) confronting it as we tend to do today. I very much doubt anything was different 100 or 1000 years ago. My family’s patriarch made a great show of presenting me with his prized cashmere great coat when he was in the “giving away his stuff” phase. It was a big deal to him because for the years after WWII left him destitute, it was the only nice thing he had and would serve to cover… Read more »

Softek
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All I know is since I started following the manosphere, I’ve felt like I’ve been slowly waking up from the worst nightmare I’ve ever had in my life — and the reality I’m waking up to seems even worse than the nightmare. I’m just hoping “it’s darkest before dawn” is true. Depending on the severity of someone’s immersion in blue pill reality, choking the red pill down can literally feel like hell on earth. I’ve never experienced so much cognitive dissonance in my life, and I’ve been committed to mental hospitals multiple times over the last 10 years. Loading...

New Yorker
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Softek, the #1 rule of any successful endevour is that it is always darkest before dawn. Just keep hammering away to make yourself strong every day. Strength and positive frame have to be the purpose of your life. Everything else falls in line when that happens. I walked a long, dark road earlier in my life and that is by far the biggest takeaway. Make yourself a better, stronger, more resilient man every day. Challenge yourself without regard for failure or success….and wonderful things will happen.

Hobbes
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This has answered a question I’ve had for a long time now… why women no longer “invest” in a man. It used to be that woman had to choose early and then invest in that mans success.. to be a co-conspirator, as it were, in his success. I think this is where the old myth of “behind every great man is a great woman” came from. What I ahve noticed is that women all want men that are now fully made and proven. It explains why women also want to push back the clock on choosing mate as much as… Read more »

Chuck Kammer
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bbb I had the company’s first woman corporate VP visit me in Tokyo. She was wearing a winter coat because she thought the seasons in Japan were the opposite of those in the US. I always wondered why I was laid off a few years later. You can’t make this stuff up. The turning point in my career at a Fortune 5 company was a trip I took with my male boss in a corporate jet. Just the two of us, sitting facing each other, we returned at night in bad weather. The pilots shot two approaches in severe, hard… Read more »

Water Cannon Boy
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There seems to be something about Gregg…. Anyway, regarding book or e-book. I prefer books. Personally I like having something to hold. I actually prefer hard copy magazines. There’s also something about handing a book to somebody and saying check this out. Or them seeing it and asking about it. However, the easiest path to get something out there sometimes is the best when it comes to a product. Also to Rollo or anybody else, what do you think the beta or alpha father/husband does to girls as the grow up? Since Rollo has mentioned his daughter before, I started… Read more »

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RickRolls
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Consider the hypergamy ideal ‘win condition’: Find a man of high genetic quality (SMV), attract him through looks and compliance (SMV), bind him through sexual performance and children (make him invested), then reduce his SMV by training him into Beta behaviors (keep from losing his resources to another woman), so that he gives his full productivity to your children. Every other female strategy is a fallback for this ‘perfect play’. After you have run that course, when even the grandchildren are grown…there’s no program for that. In the EEA, the chances that both sides of a bonded pair would reach… Read more »

Water Cannon Boy
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Water Cannon Boy
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Want to add that it can also have dire consequences for the guy, such as the case in the Houston area of the guy who’s girlfriend snuck him into her bedroom, got shot and killed by her father. Upon discovery, she first claimed she didn’t know him. Only later after he died did she admit she knew him and brought him in.

bbb
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bbb
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Rick Rolls: “After you have run that course, when even the grandchildren are grown…there’s no program for that. In the EEA, the chances that both sides of a bonded pair would reach their 60′s and up were so low, there was no reason to select for fitness in handling it.”

Actually, evolutionarily speaking, any age above that for raising a child is uncharted territory. The good part about that is that we can make our own rules.

RickRolls
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BBB: I see your point, but I think that ‘When are you going to settle down and give me grandchildren’ became a cliche for a reason. Propagation is a matter of how successful your descendants are at having descendants. Except for the pure Alpha strategy of having a lot of children that you make no investment in, it would pay off to stay involved with your children’s children.

Note how common it is for parents to step in and provide a safe harbor for their daughters, or even take over parenting completely. That’s not all socialization at work.

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Rgoltn
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Rgoltn
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Great write-up and oh so relevant to me these days…My wife of 19 years, together 22, is right in the middle of a Redevelopment Phase. We are both 47 and she is in a mid-life crisis. While your write-up touches upon security and seeking a last grasp of her SMV, I think there is more to it. You allude to it in “It’s important to make the distinction that this security isn’t necessarily founded on financial provisioning, but rather an emotional, intimate dependence and acceptance for a woman from an acceptably masculine man…” I believe women in this phase are… Read more »

RickRolls
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I think the “empty nest divorces” have a lot to do with running off the end of the program. If you’ve only been staying together for the ‘sake of the children’, and otherwise seething with resentment (or even just apathetically living separate lives), those pressures are gone.

All the dis-associative rationalizations just melt away, and you’re facing the question ‘Do I want to be married to this person anymore?’ in a purely rational fashion for the first time in your life, with nothing in the back of your head whispering that the stakes are too high to compromise.

RickRolls
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Sorry for the double-post, but I failed to finish my point: My sister and brother-in-law came very close to just such a ‘What’s the point’ dissolution. Then my niece blew up her own marriage, and providing a home for her and her child held them together while she ran through an AFBB cycle (another child by yet another sexy loser, then a marriage to a ‘nice guy’ she knew from high school). They were right on the edge of filing papers, having worked out the property division and everything else, when my niece called for help. Six years later, when… Read more »

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[…] Other than the CPS threat, your entire article is based on the unsourced claims of feminist crazies. I know you’re a self-described troll, but really? What’s the point? Why get involved in women’s bickering? Especially when the evidence is so pathetic? […]

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[…] Tomassi of TheRationalMale The Preventative Medicine Series – Part I Part II Part III Part IV SMV Ratios & Attachment – Sexual Marketplace Landscape Final Exam – Navigating the […]

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[…] Tomassi of TheRationalMale The Preventative Medicine Series – Part I Part II Part III Part IV SMV Ratios & Attachment – Sexual Marketplace Landscape Final Exam – Navigating the […]

Jake
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Jake
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Hey guys, fucking another mans wife is the same as stealing. It’s just wrong…and it contributes to the problem. It allows women to have their cake and eat it too. If we want higher quality women to exist, virtuous women, we need to stop enabling them, right?

Star-Lord
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Star-Lord
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“fucking another mans wife is the same as stealing”

How about you explain how you figure…

Jake
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Jake
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@ starlord Monogamous couples have a contract with each other, they are exchanging exclusive sexual rights. Each OWNS the sex of the other, in other words, her sex is his property, and his sex is her property. If an interloper has sex with one, he/she is taking someone else’s property without their permission. Taking property that isn’t yours without permission from the owner is stealing. As for wanting women to be more virtuous, well…that’s a little harder for me to explain(I’m not the sharpest spoon in the shed) but let’s just say you reap what you sow. The modern female… Read more »

RickRolls
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RickRolls
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Yeah…wow. I’d really like to believe that ‘Patriarchy’ was just a boojum that feminists made up, but guys like this keep crawling out from under rocks. Sleeping with a married woman is wrong because it’s a crime against her husband? But cheating on your wife is different because women are immature children that can’t be trusted to make good decisions?

Yeah, whatever. If your logic doesn’t work both ways, it’s just foaming drool you’re spraying around.

Jake
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@RickRolls

Firstly, thanks for your comment, I appreciate your participation.

You are making a straw man of my argument, or you simply didn’t understand. Wether the interloper is male or female makes no difference to the morality of it. I made no comment concerning the infidelity of the married parties, but since you bring it up, let me say a little something about that. Cheating is wrong. Monogamous couples have promised exclusivity to each other, and if one cheats, they break that promise. It’s a breach of contract.

I don’t understand what patriarchy has to do with anything I said.

Star-Lord
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Star-Lord
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The contract is with each other, not the third person. To take implies force. If something is given it is not taken and therefore not stolen. Therefore your “interloper” has stolen nothing. And you would be hard pressed to demonstrate that each owns the sex of the other. Each owns their own sex. Were a man to own the sex of his wife and she didn’t want to participate, he could simply override her and take it – ownership. Right? What you have done in your argument is simply tow the feminist line that women have no agency. You blame… Read more »

Jake
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@starlord Hey man, thanks for your reply. Okay, we agree that a person sex is their property. A person can sell their property, at which point it becomes someone else’s property. Marriage is the transaction of exchanging exclusive access to your vagina/penis. Before marriage each owned their own sex, after getting married, they own each others. If I trade my lawn mower with my neighbor for his lawn mower and a third party(the interloper) takes my neighbors lawn mower(formally my lawn mower) it is stealing, right? Nobody makes any explicit agreement with the rest of society to not steal, it’s… Read more »

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Insidious_Sid
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This is unreal. So, if I got the gist of well written article… The ulimate sh1t test is for her to demand a man be more beta (and bring in those beta bucks) while assuming a role of authority. But then she sabotages HER OWN RELATIONSHIP by creating a super-beta man who she can’t be sexually attracted to. The idiot man’s only crime is that he’s an idiot by giving a women what she says she wants and expecting it to work. I’ve read all kinds of formulas for “successful game” but the articles telling men how to conduct themselves… Read more »

blurkel
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blurkel
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ANY response hinting at the kind of response she expects will only encourage her to redouble her efforts toward turning her man into a Beta Max. Thus, there can be no such thing as a long-term relationship between a man and a woman. It isn’t for nothing that all of the long-term married men advise a new groom that the only acceptable response the bride will allow is “Yes, dear.”

RLWJR
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RLWJR
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Can’t wait for your “menopause” post……. Cause I need the advice…….

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LiveFearless
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convenient conviction or from a self-created sense of her husband’s (really all men’s) untrustworthiness ~Rollo Tomassi

All men. Only men. Popular content says it’s so… http://wp.me/P3P5mL-uz

Marus
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Marus
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Your’e a genius my man. I’m just curious how this internal subconscious behaviourism would apply or differ from a cluster B personality woman?

FamilyMan
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FamilyMan
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You’re describing a lot of things going on in my near 20 year marriage. There is very little written about this phase, presumably because a lot of game experts just keep in the market enjoying that rather than taking the gigantic risks of getting married. I can certainly say being married is harder than being single. If it weren’t for the kids I would have bailed out long ago. Anyway there’s lots written about dating phases and “early” marriage. Very little about the 20 year point. I don’t know what lies beyond. My parents have gotten past 50, and while… Read more »

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[…] me, I wrote this part about a year ago, but I think it’s still relevant now. In part 4 of Preventative Medicine a commenter (who, for the record is not an InCel by any stretch) asked me why I had no real […]

MWMM
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@ Rgoltn, July 19
just read your post. This is exactly where I’m at. Found the red pill at 41 and saved the marriage, now at 47, richer and better looking with decent game, the mess is back with a vengeance. It’s not easy facing the “you were the safe bet” and the associated misery she carries and projects. This time it’s me who wants to run away from the her, but that’s a lot of history and emotional equity to throw away. How’s it going with you?

kenyanman247
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Reblogged this on Kenyan Man 247.

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[…] So, is there really such a thing as ‘sexual retirement’ for women, or is it just a convenient way of casting off a woman’s Beta-husband need for ‘pleasure’ after a certain age? I covered this further in Preventive Medicine. […]

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[…] We’ll get to him later, but she’s a textbook example of a woman in what I termed the Alpha Reinterest phase from Preventive Medicine. Granted, at 46 Saira is experiencing this “stage” a bit […]

Yellowcake
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Yellowcake
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Wow, is all too familiar. 51 year old reasonably successful man here – becoming more red-pilled by the day. Divorced about 9 years and happily so, father of two boys, constructive relationship with the ex-wife. Had a relationship with an attractive divorced woman 6 years my senior. Her path followed almost exactly the sequence described above.

I was crushed by the termination of the relationship. However, what is now most disturbing is how wrong I was in my assessment of her. I am not a stupid guy, but I sorely missed this one.

Yellowcake
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Yellowcake
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@RGOLTN – four years since you made this post – what has happened?

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