Preventative Medicine – Part III

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Before I move on in this study I’m going to take a moment to clarify the purpose of this timeline /schedule. It’s important to remember that this chronology is meant to serve as a general direction for women’s maturation and the priorities of attraction they put on men’s attributes during these phases of their lives.

By design this graph isn’t intended to be a specific outline to account for every woman’s individual circumstances, but a somewhat predictable series of phases coordinated with events, behaviors and mental schemas that occur during those phases. The perspective I’ve approached in this outline is one of an unattached (long term single) or semi-monogamous woman with the personal and social options to leverage her sexual agency as well as a subjective degree of control over the direction of her life (or the strong impression that she actually has this control).

Of course, it would be ignorant to assume all women’s individual circumstances would follow the same series of instances subject to the same set of circumstances. In any one woman’s life there are far too many subjective eventualities to consider that would fit into the scope of a series of articles (I could actually dedicate a book to this topic alone), which is why I’ve detailed these phases in as general terms as I can fashion them.

Uses

To the point though, it is up to any one Man to determine how a woman’s personal conditions, her past decisions and the results of her past discretions or indiscretions contribute to what is motivating her along this general outline of life phases. It’s entirely possible, if not likely, a woman would have had a prior marriage or be a single-mother during any or all of the phases I’ve detailed. It’s also not unlikely a woman might be a serial monogamist or married during the duration of her party years. The art of determining what motivates a woman according to the phase of life she’s in, her socialization and how her circumstances modify or are modified by it is what the ‘A’ in PUA represents – artistry.

The important part of determining what motivates women’s behaviors and mindsets is to frame these personal circumstances against this outline of women’s life phases. In general, the phases and progression of maturity (socially, personally and biologically), her prioritization of attractive male attributes, and the resulting purpose-driven behaviors don’t change much for women as a whole. It’s when you consider how an individual woman’s circumstances work within or against this progression, and how you as a Man can first, determine that woman is worth varying degrees of your investment, and then better leverage what you know about her conditions and the phase of life she’s experiencing to your (or your mutual) benefit.

If you browse the backlog of my posts you’ll see how I frame individual observations and understandings of specific topics as they relate to both women’s stage of life and their circumstance. This has been a part of my writing process since I began making forum posts on SoSuave, but in real life, in the moment, you need to have a basic grasp of who you’re dealing with, and what motivates her according to what priorities she places on men and herself at any phase of life – as well as considering the social influences she’s subject to.

Who cares?

Right now all this probably seems like a lot of effort and hassle; “Why the fuck even bother Rollo? If I had to untangle a chick’s psyche and socialization every time I want a new piece of ass I’d just be a monk.” In truth, on various levels of consciousness, you already make most of theses assessments about a woman when you invest any degree of effort (Game) in her – even if just to get laid. You may not realize you’re doing it, and your investment in a woman is itself modified by your own conditioning, your deficiencies and strengths, but rest assured, you are making these assessments. The difference now is that you have an outline to better be consciously aware of the framework you’re making these assessments in – that’s a cornerstone of red pill truth.

Understanding what motivates a woman at any phase of her maturation isn’t terribly difficult to grasp,…once you yourself have experienced that phase with a woman. And that’s the intent of my developing this outline, to help (younger) men without the benefit of this prior, often detrimental, experience make informed assessments about the motivations of women they may be interested in at various stages of their maturity.

Equally important is an understanding of how the social conventions and rationales a fem-centric society endorses and propagates for women factors into their own ideologies, as well as how they absolve women’s already solipsistic nature from personal accountability as she matures. Also important is the understanding of the guilt and regret that results from not having lived up to the expectations these social conventions convince women they should be entitled to have experienced by a certain developmental phase. Women tend to be both the perpetrators and (later) the victims of these conventions by design.

With the rise of instant communication, only recently have men began to connect the dots with regards to how these social conventions have been established to correlate with the decisions women make for themselves and the fluidity with which these conventions allow them to rationalize the outcome of those decisions. Hypergamy has always been Hypergamy for women, but until the sexual revolution’s ‘liberation’ of women from the societal and ideological balances that previously kept Hypergamy in check, there was less need for the myriad social conventions now necessary to balance women’s culpability (psychologically and sociologically) in that new ‘freedom’.

 

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The Security Phase

Women’s priorities for attraction (not necessarily arousal) are dependent upon the necessities dictated by which phase of life she’s currently in.

One reason I tag men’s peak SMV at or around 36-38 is partially due to their relative capacity for having attained the characteristics and accomplishments that women find the most desirable for long term commitment at about the same time women are the most necessitous of those qualities.

As women approach the Epiphany Phase (later the Wall) and realize the decay of their SMV (in comparison to younger women), they become progressively more incentivized towards attraction to the qualities a man possesses that will best satisfy the long-term security of the Beta Bucks side of her Hypergamy demands.

Too many blue pill / purple pill dipshits like to dismiss the SMV realities my graph depicts by comparing the desires of an SMV peaked 23 y.o. girl with the vested value an SMV peaked man represents to women’s overall, dualistic-need Hypergamy. What maximizes the SMV of a woman in her peak isn’t equal to what maximizes the SMV peak of men.

During what I term the security phase, women’s prioritization of attraction shifts to a man’s potential for provisioning.  While the new found attraction to intrinsic qualities of a man are overtly exaggerated as appealing to women during this phase, it’s essentially a man’s proven capacity to provide excessively for himself and a potential mate and family that are key to this attraction. These are qualities an SMV peaked man is socially expected to possess, and socially expected to deliver for a woman precisely at the time in which she finds herself the most necessitous of these qualities and provisioning.

It is during the security phase women will begin to alter their self-expectations, as well as overtly bemoan their frustrations about their own inability to secure commitment from what they perceive would be a socially equitable male. The social conventions already in place for women in this phase make them comfortable in attempting to shame men into compliance with their long term security needs. This is the phase you will most likely hear a woman complain about “men’s fragile egos”, men being threatened by ‘strong independent women®‘ or some other frustration about men not cooperating with their rapidly decaying, dualistic sexual strategy.

Settling

Security anxiety and the conflict a woman experiences with her SMV decay forces two outcomes for her; she can continue to believe her SMV is still comparative to her intersexual competitors (another social convention intended to placate unrealistic women and further postpone an LTR commitment), or she can settle on a hypergamously substandard man who’ll gratefully embody what the provisioning aspect of her hypergamy demands. If she’s followed the Alpha Fucks schedule during her party years it’s also possible she finds herself as a single mother seeking a provider male to assist in the parental investment her Alpha gene provider wasn’t (or is a limited) part of.

I should mention that the Transition and Security phases are a point at which most men’s (i.e. Betas) feminized conditioning comes to fruition for the Feminine Imperative. The Beta providers who’ve been patiently awaiting their moment of sexual vindication find their moment of peak attraction – and not uncommonly with the same women who had no use for them during their party years.

But the well conditioned Beta is nothing if not patient and dutiful in his feminine-primary purpose and it is at this phase he begins to see dividends for his steadfastness in supporting the feminine cause. His willingness to forgive a woman’s party years “indiscretions”, he believes, will be an investment in Relational Equity any ‘rational’ woman will appreciate.

It’s important to understand that the social engineering of the Feminine Imperative conditions Beta men to be predisposed to this (and/or White Knight) mentality at precisely the moment women need his provisioning the most – the point her SMV decays and his is in ascendency.

During the Security Phase, affluence, provisioning capacity and the status that should be associated with it become a primary attractant for women. The want for physical appeal and arousal are still a factor in attraction, but indicators of maturity, affluence, and other intrinsic qualities become a priority. That isn’t to say a random short term mating opportunity with an arousing Alpha would be ignored (especially around her ovulation cycle), but long term security takes precedence.

Women who consolidate on monogamous commitment during this phase (or in their Epiphany Phase) generally run through a series of mental self-rationalization for their decision to marry the Good Dad, rather than the Good Genes father. This is an effort women engage in to justify to themselves for consolidating on the security side of their hypergamous sexual strategy. Once children are part of her reality this mental subroutine has to be forced to the periphery of her attentions, but it is a psychological conflict she’s either going to resolve by eventually leaving her provider male (and seek out her Alpha widow substitute) or convince herself and her hypergamous conscience that she has in fact optimized her hypergamy with the male she settled on.

As a woman matures into her late security phase, and her offspring become more self-sufficient, it’s at this point she becomes more self-critical and retrospective of her Epiphany Phase, and more realistic about her true reasonings for experiencing it.

The Development Phase

From The Curse of Potential:

Because a woman’s capacity to attract her hypergamous ideal decays with every passing year, her urgency demands an immediacy with a Man embodying as close to that ideal as possible in the now.

Hypergamy takes a big risk in betting on a man’s future potential to become (or get close to being) her hypergamous ideal, so the preference leans toward seeking out the man who is more made than the next.

The problem with this scenario as you might guess is that women’s SMV depreciates as men’s appreciates — or at least should appreciate. The same hypergamy that constantly tests and doubts the fitness of a man in seeking its security also limits his potential to consistently satisfy it.

From the security into the developmental phase is generally the time during which a woman has satisfied the security needs side of her hypergamy (Beta Bucks) with a man she consolidated a long term security on during her Epiphany-Transition Phase.

Before I elaborate further I should point out that this particular phase can sometimes precede the Epiphany-Transition Phases for women who by circumstance (e.g. an unplanned pregnancy), personal conviction, or simply pairing with a man she believes has such future SMV potential, or believes is so far above her own foreseeable SMV (looks, affluence or status/fame) that she feels compelled to consolidate on him. This early security phase may also be the result of a particularly bad experience a woman in her party years had with a prior Alpha – the emotional trauma of which convinced her to connect with an accessible Beta orbiter who was patient enough (and fortunate enough) to be his dutiful, forgiving and supportive self in the right place at the right time.

Most commonly however this phase usually occurs within a 7 to 9 year window just after a woman consolidates on (or should have consolidated on) a long-term security prospect male; and this usually after her transitioning from her party years and dealing with the urgency of finding that prospective male.

It’s important to delineate the circumstances which affect women who’ve successfully paired prior to this phase from the women who remain single, never-marrieds or early divorces. Between the ages of 27 and 37 these circumstances define how a woman engages and copes with her development and redevelopment phases.

The 7 Year Itch

For this 7 to 9 year stretch a married woman will likely content herself with some semblance of what fem-centrism defines for her as domesticity. That may likely include a working/motherhood role, but for the most part the vestiges of her party years usually become something she’d rather not be reminded of, particularly so if she’s settled on a provider-male who doesn’t tingle her the way her former Alpha lovers did, and she gradually tires of his whiney wonderment at why she’s not as sexual with him now that they’re married with children.

There’s a very interesting social convention that accompanies this phase for the married woman, there was even an old movie dedicated to it, it’s called The 7 Year Itch. It was a cute movie, but it was based on a very real psychological phenomenon. The cutesy social convention revolves around men’s developing a wandering eye for strange vagina after mysteriously being married for 7 (a magic number) years. The reality is that most marriages tend to dissolve at two stage, after the 7 year mark and then again at the 20 year mark.

Primarily this is due to a couple having had at least one child (possibly 2) and after that kid reaches 7 and is becoming more autonomous men and women do some relationship evaluation. From an evolutionary perspective this would be the point at which a child is more or less self-sufficient with a minimum investment on the part of a male, but in contemporary relationships it’s also the point at which a woman has had time enough to reevaluate her Epiphany Phase decision to pair with the provider (father of her children or otherwise).

Just to be complete, the 20 year mark is generally the point at which both parents become ‘Empty Nesters’ and a second reevaluation takes place. More on this in part IV.

The Path to Spinsterhood

For women unable or unwilling to settle, compromise or otherwise consolidate on a long term monogamy, her security phase becomes a personal effort in generating that security for herself. This security may come with some help from a generous, fem-centric state, or with the help of child support and / or alimony from a marriage or pregnancy prior to this phase, and of course she may entirely ignore the dictates of her biological clock (fertility window) and double down on her own feminine-masculinized conditioning by providing (what she believes is) exclusively for herself. These are the origins of the Hyenas.

Since Roissy so eloquently outlined this woman’s demographic, I’ll finish here with his outline of 31-34 year old unmarried women:

31 to 34 year olds

In some ways, women in the 31-34 age range are the toughest broads to game. (By “toughest”, it is meant “most time consuming”.) It’s counterintuitive, yes, but there are factors at work besides her declining beauty which mitigate against the easy, quick lay. For one, it is obviously harder to meet single 31-34 year old women than it is to meet single younger women. Marriage is still a pussy-limiting force to contend with for the inveterate womanizer, but Chateau apprentices are hard at work battling the scourge of mating market disturbances caused by the grinding and churning of the marriage machine.

But the bigger reason 31-34 year olds are harder to game than any other age group of women has to do with the wicked nexus of entitlement and self-preservation that occurs at this age in women. When you combine a disproportionate sense of entitlement fueled by years of feminism, steady paychecks and promotions, and cheerleading gay boyfriends with suspicions of every man’s motives and a terrible anxiety of being used for a sexual fling sans marriage proposal, you get a venom-spitting malevolent demoness on guard against anything she might perceive as less than total subjugation to her craving for incessant flattery and princess pedestaling.

[…] “I have an easier time bedding and dating 23 year olds than I do 33 year olds.”

This defies all logic until you see it through the eyes of the hamster sweating its fluffy ass off in a woman’s brain. (Poor little creature must be pooped out by the mid-30s.) Sure, a 33 year old is not as hot as the 23 year old version of herself, but her ASD is through the roof, as is her self-conception as a hot marriage-worthy commodity. Many older women will tell themselves that their experience, maturity, accomplishments and financial stability mean they should be way more valuable to men seeking wives than some young babe on the take. Of course, they have to tell themselves this because reality isn’t making it easy to believe.

These are the kind of women who have sexual flings with college guys, because they can psychologically box those men in as “purely for fun” adventures. But the men the 31-34 year old women really want are the older, established men who will give them a marriage proposal and a family. This is why it is counterintuitively harder to game the older woman who still retains a vestige of her youthful attractiveness: she wants and expects so much more than the younger woman.

87 comments

  1. Just a personal note, I want to thank my readers for being patient with my week’s absence from posting this. Last week was particularly trying for me and my family as we lost two of the three greyhounds we own in the same week.

    The first died Monday from a seizure while under anesthesia during a routine teeth cleaning, and the second (my only male) was diagnosed with osteosarcoma last month. We managed his pain until it got too much for him and had to put him down on Thursday. And my birthday was last wednesday.

    So you’ll have to forgive my not being in the writing mood last week,..

  2. I’ve figured the whole thing out, or at least this part. The reason young women are so strongly into serial monogamy is because the way women love is by making men into babies (as it feels to the woman). It used to be that psychologists thought it was actually having babies that made women this way “My husband comes home from work, and expects me to feed him. Then at night he wants me to touch him. Ugh! He’s such a baby!” But it happens on schedule whether she has children or not: after the short honeymoon period, he is now too familiar, and she needs to push him aside to get on with her next “baby”.

  3. Been long-time lurker and I have to say you’ve helped me immensely to make sense of women during last few months since I discovered your blog. So thanks first.

    I resonated well with this post and my own experience makes it seem accurate.

    Sorry to hear about your dogs :/

  4. A wonderful trilogy of essays. These should be read by every future son and brother. Thank you Rollo Tomassi.

    “The greatest love is a mother’s; then a dog’s; then a sweetheart’s.”

  5. I am not sure where you are getting your information,
    but good topic. I needs to spend some time learning much
    more or understanding more. Thanks for fantastic information I was looking for this info for my mission.

  6. Interesting analysis. I dumped a 34 year old divorced woman I was seeing (no kids) because the ink was barely dry on her divorce and she was already pushing me into a major commitment 4 months into seeing each other. She was so pushy and needy.

    Initially she was open to meeting and going out, but I had to have tight game because she was all about being religious and down on sex etc.

    As it turned it out my game was tight and I banged her on our 4th meet up.

    But honestly…I found her annoying: 34, bitchy, pushy.

  7. In relevance to the “7 to 9 year” stretch Rollo documents, I almost feel pity for the vast numbers of women I saw on nights out from years previous who clearly held intimate tastes towards bad boys, edgy looking and/or men with extreme handsome looks. Some of these women were not even as glamorous back then as their target men in relative gender terms, but it didn’t prevent them from leading with their hearts and sexual urges. Then I see the same woman today with a couple of kids – and an expression of frustration, resentment and “what ifs” written all over her face.

    Although many of these women in their prime beauty days would have been attracted to the good/niche looks of males from her party years, a much higher number were attracted to the applicable man’s attitude and swagger. Yes, social status would have played a major part too, but in percentage terms there is only a tiny amount of men who have either top class physical attractiveness or set apart social profile.

    The point to it all is that an average man can draw more projected attraction onto him if he doesn’t simply lay it on a plate for a woman. This will naturally keep her more interested during the relationship too. Women aren’t mainly dressed in repulsiveness due to settling for a lesser looking man. They are this way inclined because he does nothing to challenge the needs of her innate psychological character.

    If deep down you are one of these men, take a look at the below link:

    http://www.vinaywcmd.com/2014/03/confident-women-dating-up-or-low.html

  8. Re: the ASD and closing the barn door after the horse has left the building. It does defy all logic. But it is predictable and therefore, as you point out, exploitable. I bet someone could make money selling barn door closers to middle aged women.

  9. “The difference now is that you have an outline to better be consciously aware of the framework you’re making these assessments in – that’s a cornerstone of red pill truth.”
    Rollo, I think the ultimate utility of the graphs and timelines is not for comparison, but for illumination. The red-pill truths help to focus vision, making more apparent the drivers of behaviors that otherwise would remain dimly-seen, embedded in the randomness of life. Thus these graphs do not provide outlines in the sense of templates, which is how people usually understand the concept of outline, but as highlighting, or more simply lighting.

    Maybe back lighting, a sort of fluoroscope, or Xray light-table, for looking into things.

  10. I’ve see a lot of married couple in my church divorce as soon as their children are either in college or moved out completely. This is a sad phenomenon as more than likely, one is left alone without any real hope of finding another mate. Usually, it is the ex-wife who ends up with the short end of the stick as her beauty is gone and all she has are memories and the occasional visit from her grown children.

    I don’t know if these cases were tied to women going through a security stage or not, but it is clear that these women did not try to keep the relationship going. Instead of submitting to their men, they instead defied them when they could and left them distant and alone.

    Would it be accurate to say that the 7 year itch commonly happens to women and that the 20 year itch happens to men? I’d imagine that most women who are 20 years into a marriage have no desire to leave it at that point, knowing that their best years are now gone. Men, on the other hand, have less of a hard time finding a replacement at that point.

  11. So what’s the endgame Rollo?

    By subscribing to your Preventative Medicine plan, men can and will protect themselves from being casualties of the Feminine Imperative. But what are we ultimately striving for? Is it to remain in a perpetual state of plate-spinning bliss? Do we game the older hens and then leave them clucking when they make their stake for commitment? Do we just ignore women unless they’re under 27 and down to fuck?

    I’m not trying to be confrontational. I’m genuinely curious as to what you think the ultimate goal for a man should be in relation to women, and in light of all you’ve shown us.

  12. @Mark Fox You would be very surprised how much women get in cash and prizes after 20 years of marriage. One guy has to pay his ex wife 7K/month until he dies or she dies. He was 64 at time of divorce. I think he’s ex went “lesbian” and he can’t retire like he planned (this occurred in 2008 just as the recession hit)

    @Rollo I would say this is your best most in depth post to date. A cold hard look at reality and some good insight to “older game”

    On a lighter note, I could use some more cowbell today.

  13. @jf12 – Wives making husbands into babies. Insightful… And true… I’ve seen it again and again… And prior to RP truths was almost a victim of it myself.

    Women would probably not agree with the phraseology however. They would probably prefer “taming their man” or being “nurturing”, but the result is the same. I saw it with my grandfather when his wife passed away. He was helpless. Didn’t know how to work any appliance in the home, take his meds, dress himself, nothing.

    The “infantilization” of the husband is the quickest way to tingle death in my opinion and it’s very dangerous because it’s so subtle and easy to fall into the trap. I pulled out of that nosedive in the nick of time by now letting my wife know on a frequent basis that I don’t NEED her. I don’t NEED her to cook for me, do my laundry, buy me clothes… I can (and as often as possible) do all of these things for myself.

    I appreciate her of course… I enjoy when she does things for me and I let her know I appreciate them, but I’m constantly on guard not to be lulled by the siren song of dependence/neediness.

    This was equally as important as well: “Then at night he wants me to touch him. Ugh! He’s such a baby!” I was that guy! That neediness frame also underscores the critical importance of Outcome Independence pushed by Athol and others for the married set. In both cases, the proper/successful frame for a male seems to be focused on being as independent and non-needy as possible.

    Interestingly, having field tested “non-neediness” now for over a year, the results are wildly encouraging. Sex life better, wife more affectionate, far fewer fights, disagreements, etc. Paradoxically, she calls me an asshole and a douchebag more often… Tells me I don’t care about her, and jokes that if she died tomorrow I’d be remarried within a week…”That’s just how you are.”

    One of the most bizarre things I’ve witnessed: Overhearing her telling her girlfriends what an asshole I am and absolutely gushing with pride when she said it. Blew my mind, but oh well… You can’t argue with success.

  14. @JW “You can’t argue with success.” True, but I can still wish things didn’t work the way they do.

  15. http://www.dumblittleblog.com/2014/04/i-would-never-have-dated-you-when-i-was.html

    I Would Never Have dated You When I Was 25

    That’s what she blurted out to me yesterday right before I told her that I would never marry her. She proceeded to explain how back then she was attracted to the huge roided out bodybuilder types and how she finds them disgusting now. The truth is so depressing sometimes. I maintained my frame pretty well when she said this; mainly because I only just remembered that she said it about an hour ago. And when I did remember, a blanket of hopelessness and certain despair was thrown over me.

    The truth is, I wanted to weep. I wanted to weep not just because I’m getting the leftovers. But also because her female mind will make sure she never understands. And also because I’m going to have to leave this girl soon if she expects me to invest more into her than I deem her worthy. And I wanted to weep because I honestly feel like she might be lost without me due to her mental illnesses and lack of self control. And I wanted to weep because I know she will fuck men left and right after we break up. I wanted to weep because I fell in love with her no matter how many times I told myself not to. What kind of fucked up game is this?

  16. Women are going to have to change. We can game them, but there is nothing deeply real in it. -As you said, men are the romantics (wanting something “real”) aka betas.

    We kill the romance, or women change. One of the sexes must change.

  17. @jf12,

    Sunshinemary has an interesting post today that confirms your idea of husbands or boyfriends as womens babies,

    “…and it’s not all about sex. It’s about something weirder than that, about some fascination with providing the most macho guys on earth with the only brand of nurturing they will accept: a one-night marriage.”

  18. Rollo – sorry to hear about your Greyhounds. That sucks.

    Haven’t had time to work through this one yet – but will shortly…But wanted to jump in to suggest that the Gwyneth Paltrow-Chris Martin ‘conscious uncoupling’ would fit squarely into an analysis like this. When they married, she was 31. He was 27, and likely one of the highest-status ‘betas’ in the world. He’s adamant he never cheated on her, which suggests that part of this result (pro forma divorce) stemmed from her desire to go out and pursue a whole lotta alpha fucks, unmitigated by expectation of virtue.

  19. Sorry about your dogs, Rollo.

    Great material as always. This series in particular is gold.

    They say depression is anger turned inwards. Feeling needy, depressed, pining for this romantic love…I know that really, really well. There’s another side of the coin, though.

    The depressed, needy side of me will fantasize about settling for a girl whose SMV is rapidly declining, forgiving her ‘party years,’ and being grateful for cuddling and affection and even *sex*!!! once in a while, if I’m lucky enough. Like a little dog begging at the table.

    The self-assertive side of me fantasizes about slapping the other side of me in the face, telling myself to get it together, and fucking a very wide variety of 18-25 year old girls while taking my career as far as I want to and spending the rest of my time doing all of the things I love to do. And then think about settling down when I’m older *AND* if I feel like it — which isn’t a guarantee.

    That part of me doesn’t care about ‘romance’. That part of me feels like I deserve to enjoy life, and that my pleasure and satisfaction are way more important than making some sexually declining girl’s life more comfortable by being a living pardon for the bad decisions she’s made over the years.

    Settling for table scraps and leftovers is *degrading*. The more time goes by that all of the stuff I read here sinks in, the more I realize that I’ve been blind to my own desires because I’ve been shamed away from acknowledging them.

    Been beating off to thousands of different women on porn for years and years, while still thinking I wanted this ‘romantic loving relationship’. Felt like I would willingly stop going on porn or even thinking about other women if I could just find that “one”.

    A big part of unplugging for me has been simply been becoming able to admit my own desires. It’s taken me months of reading this stuff to be able to admit that I think I would enjoy fucking a wide variety of young, hot girls. Months.

    I’ve been so brainwashed into romance/monogamy/feminine imperative thinking that I’ve been blinded to my own desires, despite repeatedly acting on them constantly (porn, fantasizing).

    You gotta know what you want first. To know what you want, you have to drop your shame and your conditioning and what you think you’re *supposed* to want.

    Thanks again Rollo for the great series here — and the rest of the posts too. I read through a lot of the posts you provided links to here and it’s always a pleasure (and a huge relief) to sift through your work. It always leaves me with a lot of thinking and self-evaluating to do, and it also gets me off of the blue-pill carousel from hell (delusional feelings of powerlessness, helplessness, neediness, desperation, being willing to settle for far less than I deserve)

  20. “Settling for table scraps and leftovers is *degrading*. The more time goes by that all of the stuff I read here sinks in, the more I realize that I’ve been blind to my own desires because I’ve been shamed away from acknowledging them.

    Been beating off to thousands of different women on porn for years and years, while still thinking I wanted this ‘romantic loving relationship’. Felt like I would willingly stop going on porn or even thinking about other women if I could just find that “one”.

    A big part of unplugging for me has been simply been becoming able to admit my own desires. It’s taken me months of reading this stuff to be able to admit that I think I would enjoy fucking a wide variety of young, hot girls. Months.

    I’ve been so brainwashed into romance/monogamy/feminine imperative thinking that I’ve been blinded to my own desires, despite repeatedly acting on them constantly (porn, fantasizing).

    You gotta know what you want first. To know what you want, you have to drop your shame and your conditioning and what you think you’re *supposed* to want. ”

    It is funny, I had this same epiphany not too long ago. I think you and me might be the same person.

  21. @Nathan, thanks for the headsup. Every day is Lent for me at SSM btw.

    Two points to make. First, yes it’s true women luv to “mother” strangers they are sexually attracted to, nut women *hate* to mother familiar men. Second “it’s not all about the sex.” Yes, it’s not. Since invariably frantic sex with hot strangers is literally unsatisfying to women (women climax more than five times as often when with a familiar man), there is another reason for slutting: it’s the validation.

  22. @Cryo I was depressed when I first learned that magic didn’t exist, that Santa Clause was an elaborate act, and that there was no god (your beliefs may vary). Taking the red pill is no different – you need time to grieve the death of the beautiful fantasy, but you will eventually find purpose without it. Even so, you can still enjoy the spirit of the act without harboring delusions. I still enjoy magic shows, and there is a new enjoyment of learning how the tricks work. Likewise, I still find pleasure in Christmas stories and the holiday spirit. Finally, I can also still appreciate the good will personified by religious myths and bask in the calming emotions inspired by church architecture. The same thing applies to emotional intimacy with a woman: I can get emotionally involved with a woman, but I know that I must spin plates to keep my edge. you don’t need to be exclusive to enjoy the benefits of a relationship…you just have to be able to manage potential jealousy on your end, and to not become too attached. Like that proverb “you can be in this world but not OF it,” you can be emotionally intimate without being emotionally attached. I won’t say that it is easy, but it can be worth the extra work. If you still desire exclusivity and/or marriage, that’s also still possible. You’re just informed enough to realize that you must pay the extra cost in terms of maintaining dominance without the aid of plate spinning to keep you naturally unneedy.

  23. @SteveH, supposedly, the breakup is not about her pursuing alphas.
    http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/gwyneth-paltrow-chris-martin-clashed-over-parenting-diet-pre-split-201424
    Supposedly the breakup is due to her increasing and increasing and increasing the dissing of him in public, and he just couldn’t take it anymore. It was like he was a teenager “married” to his really bossy mom. That being said, it may have been his SMV that allowed him to finally see that he didn’t have to take it anymore.

  24. you don’t need to be exclusive to enjoy the benefits of a relationship…you just have to be able to manage potential jealousy on your end, and to not become too attached.

    Whenever I catch self-serving shame for Plate Theory from first-time Blue Pill guys telling me how fucked up they’d feel about having to manage potential jealousy with concurrent sex interests I asks them, “what’s more manageable, short term potential jealousy between women you can walk away from, or long term management of a single woman’s discontent who you stand to lose a considerable investment of family, emotion and money with?”

  25. I have no idea why I’m in such a celebrity mood this week, as all I know of the entertainment industry I get on google news.
    It seems Peaches Geldof was extremely discontent being a wife and mother, and couldn’t quite figure out why.
    http://www.sheknows.com/entertainment/articles/1034541/peaches-geldof-left-alienated-and-abandoned-by-pals
    She had derived for herself that the fact that she had partied so hard with so many alphas for so many years when so young (early teens, started), that her being jaded and burnt out with partying was a sign that she was ready to be a wife and mother.

  26. @Rollo, I had an idea! It happens sometimes. It probably would be useful, maybe especially to women-herds, to include celebrity examples illustrating the life stage SMV timeline. The only reason for the celebrityness would be already-present familiarity with that person’s bio. I’m certain it would help speed understanding. About the only iffyness is how much push-back there would be from fans etc about some celebrity’s hitting the Wall or something.

  27. @Pellaeon You misunderstand me. I’m well-acquainted with the Red Pill and the true nature of women. I’m just curious as to what Rollo’s ultimate takeaway is from all of this. Meaning, what is the ideal to strive for when dealing with the Feminine Imperative in a feminized society? How does a man come out on top? Perhaps I’m asking too much, lol.

  28. @jf12, oh I’ve made that attempt on a few occasions:

    https://therationalmale.com/2012/01/04/five-minutes-of-alpha/

    https://therationalmale.com/2012/02/08/sexy/

    https://therationalmale.com/2012/10/08/50-shades-of-emma/

    You see, using a celebrity example only works when the analysis is a positive, flattering review of anything that compliments the Feminine Imperative (Demi and Ashton Happily Ever After!). But when the example slings shit on the Feminine Imperative AND a favorite celebrity (“you can’t base your opinion on some celebrity couple – Ashton’s just a juvenile typical male”) then it’s an unfair comparison based on an extreme outlier.

  29. The Geldof story fits particularly well into the life scheme chart, even the presence of two children couldn’t override her ‘party years’ yearning phase.

    She felt left out by her party peer group who wouldn’t entertain her changed life scenario and circumscribe their own script to fit her reality.

    Her depression and extreme dieting seems to be nothing more than a certain type of regret for being out of the loop.

    I have to admit the chart is way more elucidating than I originally thought, when I think of all the women I know they almost perfectly fit the charts trajectory, the only exception being the rare ones that captured an alpha when they were young.

  30. Bruv, just found your site the other day….Buuurrrrrillllliiiaaaant!!!!! Been reading up on misandry, divorce, and watching stuff on Erin Pizzey, ManWomanWorth…man yours is the best blog I have read in a while especially regarding men taking the read pill….truth brother. Keep it up!

  31. This series is absolutely brilliant, an instant classic. For you guys under thirty, Part III has insights that you just cannot fully comprehend right now. It’s dangerous to think that you “get it” just because you read it. I am 48, and I have hit my head on almost every relationship rock Rollo describes in this series. Here are a few golden passages that, in your twenties, you may gloss over:

    “Also important is the understanding of the guilt and regret that results from not having lived up to the expectations these social conventions convince women they should be entitled to have experienced by a certain developmental phase. Women tend to be both the perpetrators and (later) the victims of these conventions by design.”

    An attractive woman (8.5 and over) has a fantasy loop that plays in her head. She believes she is destined to have a high-powered career, the guy every other woman wants will choose her, and she’ll live a jet-set life that’s free of boredom and grinding routine. Of course, she can’t make this life happen for herself! She believes The Universe, and her man, will supply this because she is a unique gem. This fantasy loop will play in her head every day until at least her mid-40s. It’s the Disney Princess Curse. Even if she’s from a Trailer Park.

    “As women approach the Epiphany Phase (later the Wall) and realize the decay of their SMV (in comparison to younger women), they become progressively more incentivized towards attraction to the qualities a man possesses that will best satisfy the long-term security of the Beta Bucks side of her Hypergamy demands.”

    Did your woman say, “you’re (so much) different than the guys I used to date.” Or, “I finally got smart and found a good guy.” If so, this is clear evidence that you are her Beta Bucks guy. Maybe she used to date DJs, NFL players, drug dealers, whatever. If these guys are different types of guys than you, do NOT continue the relationship. She has no clue, but she is rationalizing her choice in her mind. You will pay a severe price later, as in cheating, nonstop bitchiness, or sudden divorce. Find a girl that always dated guys like you. She may have swwoned for the lead guitarist, but if she didn’t devote her early 20s to chasing him, you’re okay.

    “While the new found attraction to intrinsic qualities of a man are overtly exaggerated as appealing to women during this phase, it’s essentially a man’s proven capacity to provide excessively for himself and a potential mate and family that are key to this attraction.”

    You can be the Beta Bucks, and she will still screw you like a porn star. Of course, she is not doing this consciously. It’s a hard-wired evolutionary response to lock you in. If you’re banging just her, her juicy sex WILL hook you. You will not walk away from her if she is 100% of your action. Eventually, you’ll marry her. The only guys I know who made great wife decisions are the ones who were nailing at least two other women when they first started dating their future wife. Since they didn’t need her sex, they could make a conscious, considered decision.

    “Women who consolidate on monogamous commitment during this phase (or in their Epiphany Phase) generally run through a series of mental self-rationalization for their decision to marry the Good Dad, rather than the Good Genes father. This is an effort women engage in to justify to themselves for consolidating on the security side of their hypergamous sexual strategy. Once children are part of her reality this mental subroutine has to be forced to the periphery of her attentions, but it is a psychological conflict she’s either going to resolve by eventually leaving her provider male (and seek out her Alpha widow substitute) or convince herself and her hypergamous conscience that she has in fact optimized her hypergamy with the male she settled on.”

    Holy crap! Every psychologist has written a long-winded article on why married women are cheating in greater numbers. They never got it right, and Rollo nailed it in one paragraph. Yes, the wives are “bored” or “unappreciated”, but at their core, they feel as if they didn’t end up with the guy they were supposed to. Boo! Hoo! Hoo!

    “The problem with this scenario as you might guess is that women’s SMV depreciates as men’s appreciates — or at least should appreciate. The same hypergamy that constantly tests and doubts the fitness of a man in seeking its security also limits his potential to consistently satisfy it.”

    Become a husband, and you are no longer a challenge so her attraction to you inevitably drops. You can only control how much it drops.

    I have seen my wife (and many of her friends) stumble through every single stage. The signs were all there, but because I only recently looked for answers, the lessons have been harsh. Many guys my age still don’t know what hit them. This series may keep a lot of you from the same fate. Not bad for a blog.

  32. @rollo

    I posted earlier about a question I had, and I thank you for addressing it and answering it in soon to be part iv.

    These posts make sense and they are UGLY truths to the sexual market and life in general. To be honest your posts are insightful and enlightening, but they are very discouraging and negative to those who’s main goal in life is to love someone and have a stable family in which you watch your kids grow up as a family (at least that’s my future goal for the most part).

    Now sure this is easy to do with the low smv fatty b/c her sexual value is low, but you want to mix your genes with the best genes out there for producing the highest quality offspring (etc. etc.). The burning conclusions that need to be made from all of this analysis you have (woman’s life cycle, game, man/girl smv etc) is what to do with a girl that you have successfully gamed into consistent sex. And you claim this is based on which part/cycle of their hypergamic life they are in. I would argue that from 18-25 you see the hottest/most fertile girls. Therefore, this female age group gives you the highest opportunity to meet a high smv woman to form an LTR with and possibly raise kids with.

    The biggest challenge, however, is keeping this LTR strong and stable through the woman’s young years (if she cheats on you in any way–>done etc.). Additional challenges arise when you know her hamster is strongest and will justify/rationalize a breakup over illegitimate reasons such as “in a different stage in my life” bull shit.

    So for most men it comes to the question of–>how do you handle a young, high smv girl who is in her party years? And how do you optimize the chances of long term stability with this girl when you yourself might not even be in that phase of life?

    That is the conclusion that needs to be drawn b/c if you can get through that, you can get through anything with your woman b/c that is when she will most likely be the biggest threat or have the most options.

    And two difficult things I can think of are: do things that her current life cycle can’t provide. And participate in her life cycle but be better at it.

    I then get caught up on the idea that maybe only a small select percentage of men can really obtain the commitment from high smv girls in their party years. Maybe some just need to accept that they don’t have the genes to get this type of security/commitment/sex form this group of girls. I’ve seen it happen but I will tell you it is rare and that’s why I may be starting to think it’s a select few who have that ability just like a select few go to the NBA or become doctors etc…so is giving up on exclusivity with young high smv girls the best safest route? Also, just thought of this. It’s kind of fucked up that I’m thinking of it as gaming girls into committing long term with me…b/c i’ve been taught a lot of my life that it’s the girl who earns the commitment from the guy (thus assuming he is alpha). But I think that’s the point, she will have you in her mind as an alpha until you fully commit and do beta/overly-committal things (buy flowers etc.). Once that happens you will here the talk of “I’m confused, idk what I want…etc.” bullshit. b/c you’re switching to beta in her mind. Ok now I’m rambling.

    Anyways I wrote too much, but Rosso I hope you address this in part iv.

    ps it’s probably clear i didnt proof read

  33. Sorry to hear about your dogs Rollo, especially the one who went unexpectedly ‘before her time.’ I’ve been there.

    Thank you for the post… as said above, pure gold. I’m 47 and when various women and couples I know popped into my mind as I was reading, I just started laughing…it’s ridiculously accurate.

    @Softek. Thanks for the honesty of your comment. Shame, conditioning, desperation, being able to admit my own desires…I know, mate, I know. Fucking red pill, eh? Tastes like your childhood morning spoonful of cod liver oil…

    @Mookie. Great comments and very helpful to me. Thanks. (you’re right…he nailed it)

  34. @ Muttley. My pleasure. I’m indescribably grateful I can let my thoughts out here, because it’s literally the only place I have in the world to go to talk about these things. I can’t express how much of a relief it is to be able to express my thoughts without being crucified.

    I’ve been wigging out lately (lots of panic attacks) and I think a lot of it is just information overload. There is a lot to process here.

    On top of that, all my friends are living in blue pill world, I have zero female intimacy in my life, zero face-to-face female interaction and next to completely zero female interaction period, and while I’m struggling to get my own small business started I’ve been dealing with a dead end job for years with an asshole for a boss…this place is like the one thing that kept me from going Taxi Driver.

    *Little aside here: “Body Pleasure and the Origins of Violence” by James W. Prescott is an interesting read.

    http://www.violence.de/prescott/bulletin/article.html

    So what, someone might ask? Here’s what: I’m a demographic. The pain I’m feeling is not unique to me. It’s representative of a significant social problem, and what Rollo is writing about addresses that problem.

    There are too many guys like me who have put up with inhuman amounts of suffering because of this sick feminized society, but perhaps the worst part of it is that all these guys like me blame themselves because feminized society blames men for the suffering it causes.

    “Gaslighting” comes to mind. From Wikipedia:

    Gaslighting is a form of mental abuse in which false information is presented with the intent of making a victim doubt his or her own memory, perception and sanity. Instances may range simply from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.

    I do not think women are evil. I do not hate women. What I hate is feeling betrayed and abandoned by people that were supposed to help me grow into a healthy man capable of recognizing and meeting his own needs: my parents, counselors, psychologists, teachers, any authority that’s supposed to recognize and cultivate the needs of the people they have authority over.

    *That’s* why this movement is so important. Men have been shamed and ridiculed into psychological impotence. It isn’t a war of men and women — it’s the opposite. It’s just that it isn’t “politically correct” to look at things gender-neutrally and objectively without favoring men or women. This stuff is only so controversial because it balances the scale instead of tipping it in favor of the current social paradigm that happens to be serving women and their needs very well.

    Male sexuality is just associated with vikings raping and pillaging in this culture. So when you make an argument for balancing things out and leveling the playing field, people accuse you of being a misogynist. If the lack of intimacy isn’t enough to piss you off, everyone around you saying that you have no right to be pissed off about it will probably do the trick.

    @ Rollo. Thanks again for this series. I’m looking forward to the next book, and even more than that I’m looking forward to actually applying these ideas in my life and finally changing things around. It’s a slow process, but I remember that your writing is picking up the slack for the failures of parents/schools/psychiatry that haven’t embraced or acknowledged any of these ideas.

  35. @Rollo re: dumblittleblog link. Do women actually not know how much it hurts a Plan B man to realize the reason she’s settling for niceness from him is that the bad boys won’t play rough with her any more? Or is her making him realize it, part of her compliance testing, to see how much hurting him she can get away with?

  36. @Softek re: vikings. It is difficult to run amok, a little. One can’t be partly a berserker any of the time, but you can be fully berserker merely some of the time.

  37. @Rollo – It is tragic to hear about your greyhounds passing, especially around your birthday. I call my puppies ‘family members’ and know that greyhounds are a big part of your lives. Please remind us of the related charity you mentioned before.

    …Typing these words flat on my back in the hospital (day four).

  38. @Cryo Perhaps I did misunderstand you…but your follow up makes me think otherwise: you have logically accepted the red pill, but you have not finished grieving the blue pill fantasies so you can emotionally embrace the joys of reality.

    What you are asking Rollo is not a question he can answer for you. The red pill is more descriptive than it is prescriptive: if you have a goal in mind, it can tell you how to achieve it, but it can’t tell you what that goal should be.

    You are asking “What kind of man should I be?” The only good answer to that is with another question: what kind of man do you want to be? This is something that takes time to answer for yourself. What are your values? What do you believe is worth fighting for?

    Discovering the red pill doesn’t mean you have to give up on the life goals you set for yourself under he blue pill…it just means that the price you pay for it is higher than you were led to belief. Is it still worth it at that price? Only you can answer that for yourself…and only you can determine what you feel is worth basing your life on.

  39. @ Rollo. Excellent post. I’m consistently impressed with the amount of material you’ve covered and how you get right to the point.

    Reminds me of my mentor — when he started teaching me his trade, he told me right off the bat, “I’ve been doing this for over 45 years. I’m going to tell you what works, period. I’m not going to give you any bullshit.”

  40. @Will,
    ” So for most men it comes to the question of–>how do you handle a young, high smv girl who is in her party years? And how do you optimize the chances of long term stability with this girl when you yourself might not even be in that phase of life?”
    Answer: only a young woman from a conservstive religious upbringing has the morality counterbalance to hypergamys demand of trading up promiscuity. There are not many of them. They attend religious colleges like concordia or martin luther college. There it’s no other answer that I’ve found. No one is alpha enough to stop trading up. That it’s an issue of family acculturation

  41. Hey Rollo:
    Sorry about your dogs!
    I love my dog!
    I bought your book.
    Its right beside: The Poor Boy’s Guide To Marrying A Rich Girl (Really Cool!) and The Professional Bachelor on my coffee table.
    The best and thanks!

  42. @Nathan–this isn’t pinpointing it for me. the reason is because even with girls that were raised in a religious and conservative background you still see them taking advantage and caving in to hypergamy (which you claim they do less of). I would have to say your statement is pretty much incorrect b/c I actually know a lot of girls who were “raised religiously and conservatively” and were the biggest come out of the closet sluts of them all. (i wouldnt be saying this if I didnt literally witness a girl i was confirmed with in a catholic church getting eiffel towered–brutal i know) The only exception is the SUPER SUPER RELIGIOUS girls. As in don’t drink much at all or party (you know the type of religious I’m referring to). The questions and scenarios I proposed in my post above are difficult to draw conclusions on.

  43. @Will, “The only exception is the SUPER SUPER RELIGIOUS girls.”
    True. I concede your point.

  44. @ Rollo – Thank you so much for the link, it means a lot to me. And thank you for this great post.

    My thoughts go out to you and your family over the loss of your greyhounds.

  45. We have two elderly greyhounds. Their teeth are in terrible shape but, based on your experience, I think we’ll forgo the cleaning.

    … Love the ‘preventative medicine’ series. I’m really looking forward to part IV, and better understanding my middle-aged wife.

  46. @Mookie, your description of the alpha widow is a spot-on description of my marriage. For the man who takes the red pill in middle age, is there are any recourse to happiness? (My kids are young and I’m moving out of SMV peak range)

  47. Wow, a few comments to a series vs 1,000 to a one-off. Utterly unable to control the narrative of tens of thousands of males simultaneously engaging their own minds and waking up to a whole bunch of shit. Who would have thunk it? Rollo, you are special, but you are not EXCLUSIVELY special. Embrace that, and watch your fan base exponentially grow.

  48. Sorry to her about your dogs Rollo. Have four ourselves.

    Question. With the changing layout of society, females are mostly now able to provision for themselves, so why do you think they are looking for a male that can provision for them?

  49. Bear in mind that the long term aspect of hypergamy demands assurances of security. If a woman’s financial security is more or less accounted for, she’ll seek emotional security and/or familial security from men (to the point of purchasing it) in proportion to her capacity to provide for herself.

  50. Rollo,

    Condolences on the loss of your dogs. I have had a few, and they were all part of the family.

    Excellent article and series!

    My only suggestion would be to possibly include full-size charts or diagrams with less, but more focused, information, perhaps at the beginnings of sections, to help new readers better see the relationships between unfamiliar terms and concepts.

    The “Iron Rules of Tomassi” links on “The Best of Rational Male – Year One” go to httpS, but do not present trusted identification, thus triggering internet-security communications tampering and site impersonation warnings.
    .
    .

    One conclusion is that it is not possible for a man to build a life with a woman, in the way that he desires and imagines.

    When a man wants a woman for more than squirting fluid from one flesh tube into another, he looks for one who is attractive and has other desirable and important qualities, enough.

    By “enough”, I don’t mean that he finds one who is “good enough” in the sense of settling, but rather that she has all of the qualities, the raw materials, necessary to start building an ideal, a bigger and better life, in which the whole will far exceed the sum of the parts.

    The problem is that this is not compatible with women’s cyclical instincts, because women are not builders, but rather consumers, and hypergamous ones at that. And a relationship with a woman is actually only a relationship with whatever program is running in her head, at that time.

    The very attempt to commit, under the prevalent forms of marriage, is a signal that is interpreted subconsciously as indicating that there are other men out there who would give her better DNA, ones who are superior because they are too good and important to desire to be limited by building a life with her.

    In the future, perhaps women can be changed. Or, since all women are Red Pill Women*, perhaps a future marriage model will be one in which a woman (or women) is allowed to remain only as long as she** obeys, is caring, loyal, and exclusive, is believably eager and enthusiastic, provides sex and performs complementary feminine tasks to the extent possible for her, at any given time. She can leave at any time, but she leaves with nothing, and once she’s gone, she is gone.

    * This is another excellent article on that topic: http://redpillpushers.wordpress.com/2014/01/07/all-women-are-red-pill-women/ (in addition to the 3-5 articles that Rollo has on everything).

    ** That there are complementary aspects for a man is not being disputed by omission.

  51. @eon: The more money one makes, the higher percentage of child support one pays. Men won’t be in this position forever. Mark my words: in x years, the worm will turn, and it’ll be the women’s turn to pay.

  52. I know it’s redundant by now, but I have to say it anyway. Excellent article.

    The worst part about the red pill is that I’m only human and sometimes my thoughts/opinions bleed into conversations with people. I usually catch myself but it never ceases to be hilarious when you say something around another man and his logical brain kicks in. That’s when he’ll neither agree or disagree, he’ll just be quiet.

    It can be quite shocking to some because of their preconceived notions of me. Cracks me up every time.

  53. @Kate

    “@eon: The more money one makes, the higher percentage of child support one pays. Men won’t be in this position forever. Mark my words: in x years, the worm will turn, and it’ll be the women’s turn to pay.”

    Outside of an extremely small percentage of women, I completely disagree that this would ever occur to any significant degree.

    It goes against the very nature of women. Everything they do is to exploit the resourcefulness of men. They only earn a living because men facilitate the whole process. All the amenities they enjoy are due to the efforts of men, the whole damn infrastructure.

  54. QUOTE: “When one considers that one must “game” a woman, even your wife, in order to keep her around, then it also means that you must always be operating at a “higher level” than her. It totally negates the whole notion of having a “soul-mate” and means that on many levels, a man will always be alone.”

    That is probably the most important lesson a man can ever learn.

    Intimacy with a woman is impossible if you have any interest in being her lover. If you are fine with being one of her grrrlfriends, and don’t mind the stupid messed up games women run on them, then you can share to your heart’s content – and will always be on the LJBF ladder.

    http://no-maam.blogspot.com/2002/02/zenpriest-59-most-important-lesson-man.html

    A bitter pill to swallow, that red one is.

  55. jjf2 says ” The reason young women are so strongly into serial monogamy is because the way women love is by making men into babies”

    No, No, and No. Women DO NOT want to make love to babies or boys. Never have and never will. Nature built a very strong repulsion to incest in women. That’s why women lose attraction for their men in the first place – when she starts having to “mother” them.

    Women have no natural preference for serial monogamy any more than men do. The reason for serial monogamy is mainly logistics and some measure of selfishness. I think women are all up for serial polyandry if all the men did the work in the “relationships” and she didn’t have to lift a finger.

    Like men, women are programmed to want variety in the genes they pass on. Nothing to do with how they view men as their “babies” which they keep having to spit out.

  56. I don’t think women’s solipsism is a problem. It’s just the way it is. It’s natural for women to be selfishly attached to men and not understand them or want to understand them, but to just have them playing the role that they want them to play — protector, provider, the rock. The one that creates the fantasy for them and takes them into their world.

    Men (these days, at least) fantasize about relational equity — a perfectly reciprocal romantic loving relationship. Realizing that this doesn’t exist feels very depressing and nihilistic. But think about this:

    Women want men to play their role…isn’t it plausible that men want women to play their role too? There’s something I find dignifying about a woman not understanding me and more or less being completely selfish in her love for me, but being captivated by me and wanting to tag along and support me in my own adventure.

    It’s tough to think that women playing their role is dependent on us playing ours. That love is conditional. That in order to have the love, affection, respect, loyalty and attention we crave as men, we need to be the ones doing the lion’s share of the work to get it, and that if we slip up, it’ll be gone as if it was never there.

    But I think a lot of the reason it’s tough is because these are actually instinctual behaviors for men that we’ve lost touch with due to feminized conditioning. It hurts and feels unfair to learn about game only because we have to learn about it — if society wasn’t so feminized, a lot more of us would probably be using elements of game naturally without knowing we were doing it.

    Just like farmers in the days of old were working out without calling it working out, and growing healthy organic food without calling it healthy or organic. It was just life.

  57. @xxxxx, you made my point, so you aren’t actually disagreeing with it. FYI. “Nature built a very strong repulsion to incest in women. That’s why women lose attraction for their men in the first place” which causes serial monogamy.

  58. Softek – “…it’ll be gone as if it was never there.”

    I suspect it was never there in the first place, it was just a mutually agreed upon illusion. The was never any love because it never existed in the first place.

  59. “I suspect it was never there in the first place, it was just a mutually agreed upon illusion. The was never any love because it never existed in the first place.”

    I think that Badpainter is right.

    As I wrote, a while back, and on a different site:

    A woman is not capable of being in love, with a man, and definitely never in the way that a man understands being in love with a woman.

    For a few years after puberty, a young woman constructs her Ideal-Man Suit.

    Then, when she falls “in interest” with a man, he becomes the wearer of this Suit. As time passes, if it seems to be bunching or sagging, she will pull and tug to make him fit properly.

    Once he no longer fits her Suit to her satisfaction, her hamster will start to shriek: “OMG, OMG, IMPOSTOR, IMPOSTOR!”

    She will then rip her Suit from this criminal, this thief who stole her time and energy, and made her look foolish to the herd, by impersonating her Ideal Man.

    To the man, it will seem that she totally reversed all of her feelings and promises, and everything that he thought they had built together, in an instant, but that is not the case.

    Women are only consumers and never builders, and being a co-creator of anything is a meaningless concept to them, even with the alphaest of alphas. Attempting to build with a woman, instead of for a woman, is like trying to discuss philosophy with your dog, except that to your dog building loyalty to an actual being is meaningful and real.

    The situation is that she is still loyal to, and in love with, her Ideal-Man Suit. The only thing that has changed is that he is not wearing it anymore.

    Men who want a caring partner-in-life can become indifferent to women, resigned to the fact that there was never anyone actually there, once they see that what were presented as “soulmates” are more like amoral pets running a psychobiological long-con that is not of their choosing.

    Men have always been willing to cherish, support and protect women, while making allowances and excuses for their behavior, because they believed that, deep down, women wanted to be, and were trying to be, sweet, kind, caring, devoted, loyal, and so on.

    But eventually it becomes painfully obvious that women have no such basis, that they are even unable to comprehend truth, fairness and empathy, and that most of them are essentially sex robots with a bad attitude.

  60. Re dumblittleblog… where did he meet this woman? I mean, if she tried to play the ‘good girl’ and made him wait for it, and then pulled a bait and switch on him… then I can totally see where his complaints are coming from. But, if she put out for him within, say, three days of meeting him… well, what exactly did he think he was getting himself into? What kind of a woman did he think she was going to turn out to be?

    If you go out looking for a slut or a whore, then don’t cry when you find one.

  61. @Rollo – I’m a little late to this post, but it is excellent.

    @Softek – I’ve really enjoyed your comments here. I’m reading a lot of pain in your posts, my brother, and I feel you.

    You said:

    “On top of that, all my friends are living in blue pill world, I have zero female intimacy in my life, zero face-to-face female interaction and next to completely zero female interaction period, and while I’m struggling to get my own small business started I’ve been dealing with a dead end job for years with an asshole for a boss…this place is like the one thing that kept me from going Taxi Driver.”

    For what it’s worth, I’d like to point out a few thoughts for your consideration, reflecting on my own life.

    1) If you’ve been considering it, you may not need to get rid of your blue pill friends. Rather, it’s possible to enjoy other men for what they are, and what they uniquely have to offer, without expecting them to swallow the red pill. If you find their support lacking in some area, find new friends to fill only those gaps. Hang out and drink beers with your blue pill buddies, find new friends to talk with about women or running your potential business. As sure as no man can rationally expect to find everything he needs in one woman, he can neither expect to find everything he needs in one friend (or set of friends).

    2) Regarding “I have zero female intimacy in my life, zero face-to-face female interaction and next to completely zero female interaction period”. The best time to find a new job, is when you’re happy in your current job. Then your switch is a voluntary upgrade, not just a lateral panic move. It might be useful to consciously blue pill your way into a temporary low-SMV-woman relationship, using the feminine imperative brainwashed flowers-and-candy skills you already know you have, and then slowly move your way up the scale from there. The risk of shooting too high initially, and waiting to jump into the dating game until you hit the lottery with some hot young girl, is oneitis. Then you’re back where you started.

    3) Most small businesses are started by people running away from asshole bosses, and most of those go on to fail because employees don’t make great business owners. It’s like the red pill teaches us – you have to be a great man, to be worthy of great women. I hope you’re focusing on your business ownership skills, reading books, taking classes, learning basic accounting, and not getting bogged down in how much you hate your current relationship/boss and how much you’re fantasizing that you can do better on your own. I’d hate to see your business fail because you don’t know how to run a business and think you’ll figure it out after the fact. Doesn’t work for relationships, doesn’t work for businesses.

    Peace, brothers.

  62. @Retrenched – I met her on FB and yeah she put out within about a half after I met her for the first time. And frankly it’s not that this shit surprises me, it’s just that the state of things is depressing. I feel bad for her more than myself, I’ll be fine, I’ll always be fine. I mean in her mind she might very well think that what she said was a compliment. It confuses me when sluts think they deserve LTR’s. It confuses me even more when I see men that I would consider alpha males(army snipers, wealthy businessmen, etc.) LTR or even wife up women like this even WHEN THEY KNOW about their horrendous sexual history. I’ve know these men(one of whom is her ex-bf) who is an alpha from the outside, move in with them within a month of meeting them. I just don’t get.

  63. Pingback: Beta Tells |

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