Saving the Best

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To start off today’s topic I thought I’d repost a Red Pill reddit thread I received a link-back to last week. Rather than give you my own summary of this guy’s situation, I felt the impact would be more significant by posting it in its entirety; and also because I don’t believe the guy really got a fair hearing on his original post.

I posted this earlier on another subreddit but it ended up getting removed because of fighting in the comments. I’ll sum up what happened thus far. I met my wife 7 years ago, she was extremely picky when it came to sex. She told me she only has been with 1 other guy before. She would never give a blow job, only would do certain positions and found almost every sex act degrading. I was frustrated by this, but I really liked her and hoped over the years she would open up sexually. Over the years, it never got any better but I learned to get over it. Well I ended up finding an old video from her college days of her engaging in group sex with 6 other people 5 guys 1 girl. In the video she has anal sex, oral sex, gets double teamed, and yells multiple times in the video she is a “I am a filthy whore.” All of it she was enthusiastic about it. I ended up feeling really sad. I can understand certain stuff people don’t want to do, but it wasn’t the fact she didn’t want to do them. She didn’t want to do them with me but every other guy she was their whore. I was angry hurt and I ended up saying some stupid shit to my wife.

I asked her if she could drop our daughter off at her sister’s house because I wanted to talk to her. She asked why, I told her we’d discuss after she came back.

I don’t remember all the details of the conversation, so I’ll try my best to sum it up. I was drinking a bit before she came which wasn’t the best idea.

Me: Is there anything about your past you have been hiding about me?

Her: Why are we talking about this?

Me: I just want to know were you in any type of porn or anything like that?

Her: are you taking drugs?

Me: I found your video from college with the other guys. I don’t know who you are anymore and I feel ill being around you.

She starts crying.

Me: Do you have anything to say?

She continues to cry. This was pointless I go to grab my keys to leave. And she tries to stop me.

Me: If you don’t want me to leave then I need you to be 100% honest with me, and tell me why you lied to me for all these years.

She: I didn’t want you to think I was a slut

Me: I would have been perfectly fine if you told me, I would have loved to have done those wild things with you. Look I get it I don’t turn you on like those other guys do. You liked sucking their dicks but not mine.

She: It’s not that, I didn’t want you to think less of me.

Me: No it is exactly that, there is a thing lying about sleeping with other guys. It’s not that you didn’t like doing those things. You didn’t like doing them with me.

She: I can do that stuff with you. I am attracted to you, you know that.

Me: I don’t want you to do it because you feel like you have to. I want someone that actually desires me.

She: I can change I promise don’t ruin our marriage over this we can work things out. We can go to marriage counseling seriously talk to me.

Me: Marriage counseling won’t change how you feel about me. Look I will try marriage counseling but I want a trial separation for now.

She: Please don’t do this. Don’t throw away our marriage for what I did in college please.

Me: Stop fucking acting like it’s a one time thing. Be honest with me how many guys did you fuck before me. How many guys dicks have you sucked, and how many guys have you let fuck you in the ass.

She: why does it matter, I said I’ll do them with you

Me: I am so fucking lucky. I got married to a whore, that fucks like a prude.

She: Please don’t waste all of our marriage for this. I am willing to change.

Me: I am not divorcing you but I want a trial separation for now, and I want to see how things go, right now I feel sick looking at you.

I ended up leaving my wife kept trying to stop me. She kept on begging saying I could do anything I wanted with her, it was truly pathetic and I lost all respect for my wife the way she was trying to manipulate me with sex.

I am staying at a motel right now; I have been getting constant calls from my wife. She has been asking me where I am, if I tell her than she is going to confront me and I don’t feel like I am ready for that. I feel so fucking drained. I feel bad saying those things to my wife but I don’t know what else to do I am so fucking hurt over this.

As I said before I wouldn’t care if she had a promiscuous past, seriously, wouldn’t care but the fact she did all those things for other guys but doesn’t do them for me hurts me the deepest.

I don’t see how this marriage can be recovered. I can’t change her attraction to me. My father has recently has been diagnosed with a tumor in his lung, and that has already been stressing me out pretty badly.

Please tell me what exactly I can do, my confidence as a man has been destroyed. Before I found out about this, I tried to get my wife to open up sexually but she completely shot it down. I really believe she isn’t attracted to me in the way she was to those other guys. That’s why she felt completely fine being “their whore” but won’t give me a blow job. I want a woman that looks at me lustfully, not that has sex with me to fulfill “wifey duties.”

I don’t feel entitled to other types of sex with my wife. I want her to want to do them. Now even if she does do them it will be out of guilt, not out of desire. I don’t see how we can recover our marriage. I feel really shitty that I won’t be able to seem my daughter as much, especially during her younger years.

I have already made some calls to reroute my paychecks and get my finances in order if we do go for a divorce. My brother works at a big law firm, I am thinking about contacting him to at least see what I should be doing now. Thing is once I call him it becomes the point of no return, if I tell my family members than their image of my wife becomes destroyed. Also I’d have to check because right now she is dependent on me for health insurance, and I don’t want her to be deprived of that if we do divorce, because she has been having health issues. I don’t want to ruin anything but I can’t see how things would ever be okay. If you don’t have any advice for me and are just going to be judgmental please don’t waste your time commenting. I know I said some hurtful things in there but you don’t know the level of hurt I am feeling right now. I have apologized to my wife since then, but I don’t see how our relationship can be recovered.

Edit – I want to make things work, between me and my wife. I understand she doesn’t want to do certain sex acts. I am considering proposing to her the idea of an open marriage. That way we can still be together as a family and we both can have the fulfilling sex lives we want.

There’s a lot going on in this situation, but I think the first thing that should be addressed here is that, personally, I think these sorts of past life revelations are a lot more common than most men are comfortable in admitting. I wish I could say this was the first time I’ve ever encountered a story like his — it’s actually the 7th time, and four of those were personal accounts from men I’ve counseled.

As our culture becomes more technologically adept, electronic records – whether they’re ‘self-shots’, incriminating GNO pics uploaded to various forms of social media, male-stripper party videos, or amateur / semi-pro pornography – will have an increasingly greater role in filling the pieces of the puzzle that constitutes a woman’s relational and sexual past. The real problem will cease to be doing any actual detective work, and more about what a (Beta) man will allow himself to believe about his ‘special snowflake’ in contrast to the gestalt knowledge of women’s behaviors on whole.

There was a recent article posted on Return of Kings by Emmanuel Goldstein detailing the Game necessity of presuming all women are sluts. In light of stories like this it’s hard not to see the pragmatism in that, but at least when you are single, Game-aware and spinning plates you have the luxury and (should have) the foresight to know that even the Good Girls ‘Do’ have the inclination to go feral with the hot Alpha in the foam cannon party in Cancun on Spring Break when she’s in the proliferative phase of her ovulatory cycle.

Predictably, I’m sure the “ooh, ooh men do it too!” wing of the critics gallery will be the first to cry foul, as they ever have, about my drawing attention to the feral dynamics of sexual side of feminine hypergamy. And were it only about one side of women’s pluralistic sexual strategy (Alpha Fucks & Beta Bucks) they might have a point, but it’s the other half of the Hypergamic equation, the part that requires long term male provisioning paired with emotional investment that sets men’s short term sexual appetites apart from women’s short term Hypergamy.

The Best of Her

The author of this reddit thread is feeling the sharp end of that Hypergamic equation. While I’m sure there will be every effort made to paint this man’s wife as some fucked up, emotionally damaged, and conveniently, sexually abused victim (we don’t know this, but that was the default association in the comments of his original thread), the operative I’m driving at here isn’t about her individualized experiences, but the methodology she and all women use to justify their sexual pluralism.

Prior to the advent of technologies that could evidentially prove women’s sexual exploits (often proudly so now) the more visceral aspects of a woman’s sexuality, and the inconvenient hindbrain/hormonal prompts that motivate them, could be kept secret well enough to deceive a man with provisioning potential to commit to the long term security the other half of her Hypergamy demands. As the technology to record this becomes more ubiquitous, more permanent and fluid in its use, as men become more interconnected by it, and as women enjoy more self-affirmation from it, rationalizing her past indiscretions becomes more of an imperative.

Men saturated and conditioned over the better half of their lifetime by the feminine imperative to be the convenient cuckolds to women’s Hypergamy – men like the author of this confession – have an ego-invested interest in presuming the woman they pair with will be “giving him the best of herself” once his ship comes in and all of his patience and equalist beliefs finally pay off.

Only, men like this discover too late, usually well after they realize their commitment has hamstrung their SMV peak potential, that not only have they been a retroactive cuckold (sometimes even moralistically proud to be so), but they’ve been socially conditioned to be one, by their mothers, their emasculated fathers, their sisters, female friends, teachers and the whole of the feminine imperative’s effort for most of their lives.

One of the reasons I, and most of the manosphere, receive so much scorn from plugged-in, feminine primary society is that we risk to expose this process. This author’s story is the inconvenient truth of a pluralistic feminine sexual strategy. Women’s capacity to cash out of the SMP, to raise children, to create a semblance of a family life so conflicted with her single life, on what she thinks should be her terms, all rides on keeping men with a long term provisioning potential (greater Betas) ignorant of their pre-cuckolding and the conditioning that took so long to convince them would be their responsibility.

I am so fucking lucky. I got married to a whore, that fucks like a prude.

The primary reason men become preoccupied with women’s sexual past is rooted in ‘getting the best’ she has to offer him sexually. There is certainly more aspects to this (fidelity, secure attachment, etc.), but as I’ve stated before, all men want a slut, they just want her to be HIS slut. Once the belief that he’s getting the best sex she has to offer him is dispelled, viscerally and definitively, the nature of the Desire Dynamic comes into sharp focus.

I Want You to Want Me

Naturally, once a woman’s true sexual capacity is revealed after the establishment of her normalized, married sexuality, her first impetus is to preserve the provisioning she enjoyed while ‘her secret’ was working for her.

Me: No it is exactly that, there is a thing lying about sleeping with other guys. It’s not that you didn’t like doing those things. You didn’t like doing them with me.

She: I can do that stuff with you. I am attracted to you, you know that.

[…] She: Please don’t waste all of our marriage for this. I am willing to change

What we’re reading here is the script for negotiated desire. Her real desire isn’t for his satisfaction or any real resolution for the deception of her sexual pluralism, but rather a solipsistic maintaining of a normalcy for herself. Our author has no other rationalizations to fall back on, denial of his conditions are no longer sufficient, and he begins to realize a cruel red pill truth – you cannot negotiate genuine desire.

He wants her to want him, he wants her to desire sex with him with the same verve and enthusiasm she did with other men in her videos. He wants her sexual best, but her 7 years of unwillingness to give him that while enjoying the benefits of his provisioning, his patience, love and perseverance only puts her strategy, the Hypergamic strategy, into perfect focus. Her genuine desire, her sexual best was never intended for him in the first place.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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Glenn
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Glenn
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While the analysis was interesting it seemed to miss the main point. I didn’t see the guy as overly concerned with his wife’s sexual past as he is with her present character, and what her sexual withholding from him says about her. The level of dishonesty and manipulation and betrayal here is epic. This guy made a huge sacrifice of his own sexual desires in the service of a romantic love, accepting a defect in his wife claimed to have. I mean, what he’s done with her is huge. To make a concession like this only to find out that… Read more »

legalbitchslap
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Wow- this story gave me chills. I got together with my husband when I was 16 married 2 years later and I believe that saved me in so many ways. It is completely unnatural for women to be 25-26 before even thinking about a marriage relationship. It’s a great service the red pill community does for men (and women). I thank my father for his blessing on my relationship, my husband for picking me, and God for giving me those two! I’m no angel and “all women ARE like that” but we can be rescued from our culture (feminized) for… Read more »

datbro
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datbro
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Fake.

can’t believe how many people fell for this one

Gabriel Forlani
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Gabriel Forlani
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That is truly a nightmare scenario. I literally feel his pain while reading it. At first I thought maybe he should cut her a break. She was young, dumb & made a mistake that she probably isn’t proud of. She probably felt like a worthless whore and never wants to feel like that again. But then, why the hell would she still have the tape?

Super Bowl Dave
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“As I said before I wouldn’t care if she had a promiscuous past, seriously” Oh, really? You wouldn’t? I don’t blame the girl for keeping it from him. For all she knew, he would freak out over it just like he freaked out over her lying about it! Best policy is to be honest and let the chips fall where they may. If you have to lie to someone to get them to care about you, then they don’t really care about you. I think this guy came across as a little selfish. The girl did some dumb stuff in… Read more »

livingtree2013
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Hey Dave, come on over to the discussion. We’re over here

http://therationalmale.com/2014/01/14/the-second-set-of-books/?replytocom=28441#respond

Its gotten good!

raywolf
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raywolf
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it can be rescued …. better the devil you know….. but only if you man up a little bit…… oh my feelings are hurt…. bla bla.. you sound like a chick…. take her to a good counselor… check him out first on your own and make sure he’s just a little red pill… not a total feminist nut job…and no women counselors… no way !. have a joint session and then leave her on her own for a couple of sessions…. let her pour out all the emotion… and then ream her in the ass when she gets home… treat… Read more »

kwesi
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kwesi
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Stumbled upon this post while looking for advice. Something similar happened to me just a month ago. Started a relationship with this girl. Outgoing, passionate type that lived with no regrets. But after settling with me that passion disappeared. Her standards suddenly shot up. She went from “living life with no regrets” to “we should wait and do it right, make it special”. We did only the most basic of acts. It never felt that she had given herself over completely to me but she insisted she loved me. I was naive and believed her. Then a few months later… Read more »

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[…] young – at Peak Freshness and Ripeness; in other words, and to quote my Man Rollo, Papa O got the best of what Mama O had to offer of herself, when it actually mattered – not some “stale” stuff well past its “sell […]

jope
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jope
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my advice might go on several lines. you have to do some soul searching, but before you do or along with that, you have to have some insight, some deeper wider insight. Women are not attracted or aroused by looks. If she isn’t attracted or aroused by you, it could be because of your behavior. She is merely responding, or not responding. They got what you don’t? Not necessarily, though ti could be. But they behave as you do not. The hardest thing is retraining ourselves how to behave, but you are already half way there- by not being manipulated… Read more »

AKA
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AKA
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@jope: Exactly right. She wants him to step up and user her

LucasBly
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LucasBly
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I imagine this comment will get buried in the other 700+ here so far, but I’m going to write it anyway. This man’s struggle parallels my own. Rollo, I’ve recently finished your book, and wish I could turn back time, but… of course I can’t. I’m left where he is, struggling to accept the red pill reality that my older wife selected me as her provider ten+ years ago, and willfully abandoned her previous sexually adventurous side to settle down with young, dumb me. I get it. I accept it. I was blind, and now I see. I’m just, like… Read more »

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The Gift |
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[…] sexually adventurous in her past than she ever was with him for the duration of his marriage – Saving the Best. That post, and the 700+ comment thread that followed were cause for a lot of righteous indignation […]

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[…] to discover that their wives did things with previous boyfriends that she won’t even consider doing with her husband? The man whose name she’s taken, whose children she bore, and whose legal & financial […]

Morpheus
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Morpheus
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Good luck Lucas. It can be tough when one realizes everything they previously believed was quicksand. What next? What actions to take? My personal view is we have one life. We don’t have to be martyrs for other people. One interesting issue you raise, and maybe Rollo can address it…I’d like to hear his take. Can you take a relationship founded in blue-pill deception and the one Set of Rules and remake it to one based on red-pill truths and the other Set of Rules, or is the only answer scorched Earth, blow the building up, and build anew on… Read more »

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[…] Lucas had petitioned me earlier about his particular situation being similar to the guy in Saving the Best. What the kid in the Subway made me think of was a wondering if he had at one time been relatively […]

Paula Wright
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Hypergamy. You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means. Do you mean polyamory? I’m also confused that you frame this as a deceit. There is no evidence she was unfaithful with her husband. No evidence he was “cuckolded”. This was something she did before she met him and obviously decided it wasn’t for her. Men and women don’t marry people to deceive them. That’s not the end game for most people – only sociopaths. Finding a compatible pair bond can be tricky. She was honest with him from the start of their… Read more »

kaizersoze71
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Don’t try to make it work. Walk, better yet run. Don’t spend the next 30 years of your life getting taken advantage of.

mikedtzo
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mikedtzo
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This is a response to Paula Wright’s entry. I’m sincerely hoping you’re trolling for comic relief, because when I ready our comment, I see so much wrong there it’s almost ludicrous. “Hypergamy. You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means. Do you mean polyamory?” No, I think he means hypergamy. The definition’s pretty much clarified on this site. Maybe a refresher course is in order? “I’m also confused that you frame this as a deceit. There is no evidence she was unfaithful with her husband. No evidence he was “cuckolded”. This was… Read more »

Cylux
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Cylux
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This was something she did before she met him and obviously decided it wasn’t for her. Lets look at the clues shall we? She: I didn’t want you to think I was a slut Me: I would have been perfectly fine if you told me, I would have loved to have done those wild things with you. Look I get it I don’t turn you on like those other guys do. You liked sucking their dicks but not mine. She: It’s not that, I didn’t want you to think less of me She didn’t decide that it wasn’t for her… Read more »

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[…] common understanding most men had with regards to the woman in my Saving the Best post, and how her rationalizations of her past and present sexual behaviors affected the man […]

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[…] What’s it really about is the guy not getting laid for years, dropping dollars, diamonds, and dovey-affection on a girl, and finding out she fantasizes about her gang-bangs. http://therationalmale.com/2013/12/03/saving-the-best/ […]

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[…] thinks “but I wish I had some more excitement …” and then Mr. Big comes along. Or he finds out she fucked the whole O-line of the football team in college and there is video. Or you could just run on into how she gets really fat, has a terrible attitude, and treats him […]

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[…] finds out. Better that you sitdown and confess your sins, than for him to find out in other…distasteful ways. And do it BEFORE anything jumps off, too. The longer you too have been intimate and the longer he […]

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[…] want to experience insane mind blowing gang banging sex. Rollo Tomassi’s most excellent article, Saving the Best outlines a real life example in great detail. She might be a prude in marriage to prove to her […]

Anthony Taylor
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Anthony Taylor
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So I guess every man that fucked his way through college but never told his wife is being “deceitful”? The chick did something “IN COLLEGE”. How the fuck is that “deceitful”? What am I supposed to list every sexual escapade to my future wife just so she knows what kind of person I am sexually? Or that anything I did in college should reflect what kind of mate I will make as far as marriage is concerned? You guys all sound like butt hurt guys that got screwed over by a chick so now you overcompensate by looking at every… Read more »

YOHAMI
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YOHAMI
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“So I guess every man that fucked his way through college but never told his wife is being “deceitful”?”

Yes. Even moreso if he refuses to have sex with wife because “he’s not like that”

Sebastian
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Sebastian
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1st. Fuck her. Accept her offer. Tie her up. Fuck her wantonly on and on until your dick is sore. Make sure to tape it too. Make her gargle your cum. Leave her there tied and let your cock rest. Then fuck some more. 2nd. Get a DNA test on your daughter. 3rd. No matter the result, divorce is obligatory.

Clevelandpua
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Clevelandpua
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In my view PUA theory is missing the mark here… (I love PUA theory) If the original post/subject is even real, this female was ostensibly sexually abused as a child, and went on to seek a beta male as a father figure/provider. She was acting out, finding her “home” within the trauma source via illicit sexual experiences that mimic what she has already experienced, she goes on rather predictably hurt again and again, in various extremes avoiding the original stressor through being a frigid prude or extreme “dirty fucking”, both are intertwined within this understandably and disturbed dialectic. I challenge… Read more »

Clevelandpua
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Clevelandpua
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* They know not what they do ^

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[…] ambitiousness and opinionatedness and you’ll be considered “sexier” and get her Best Sex she’s been saving just for a guy like […]

Joe
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Joe
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I want to know about the girl in the picture with about 100 guys on her wall

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[…] with a few dudes. That will be somebody else’s fucking headache like this guy right here, and this poor heartbroken son of a bitch right here  . Get some pussy and keep it moving. The genie is out of the bottle now. There is nothing you as a […]

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[…] Compare the open hypergamy model with the guy from Saving the Best: […]

HadEnoughToo
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HadEnoughToo
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For some reason your post comes off as hamsterizing, Paula. It’s like your trying to sweep the all too common beta bucks/alpha fux dynamic there. Face it, that guy is getting someone who never would’ve gotten the time of day from her during her chasing-so-called-alpha’s/bad boys/hotties-who-are-outside-of-her-league. You know, men can actually be forced to pay child support for her alpha-fux-trophy (also known as another man’s child) till that bastard child is 18. Talk about a reverse cuckold! That might not sound too nice and insensitive to some baby’s Daddy’s momma there. But in reality it is the male’s feelings that… Read more »

Seriously?
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Seriously?
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I don’t understand why this guy is getting so much sympathy. So he marries this woman knowing she is not madly in lust with him, then throws a fit because she did some wild group sex when she was in college. Women, actually people, evolve sexually. To expect a married mother to have the same kinks than a young girl trying things out is not a safe bet, to say the least. How is that a betrayal or a “slam to his masculinity”? Have you considered the possibility that he didn’t get the awesome sex because he’s a shitty lover?… Read more »

YOHAMI
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YOHAMI
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Seriously? – shut up and learn

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[…] Saving the Best […]

Bluepillprofessor
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I was still in the depression phase of unplugging when I first read this and it really upset me because I could see my self in the place of this guy. Now I am more convinced than ever that what this slut really wants is her husband to man up and use her like a piece of sizzling steak. That is what ALL women want. Rollo used this as a way to illustrate that desire cannot be negotiated and this is true. However, desire can be- and in a real sense ALWAYS is- commanded. She did not have the desire… Read more »

Tom
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Tom
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Just for everybody’s information:

The OP Reddit poster quoted in the article, posted followups on what happened when he “ultimatumed” his wife. You can read em here . . .

http://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1sp39a/update_iifound_my_wifes_old_sex_tape_now_our/

http://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1tmquf/wife33f_and_i36m_are_having_a_threesome_for/

Just goes to show the importance of never accepting anything but the best from your partner. And the man being absolutley, utterly willing to end it all if his standards aren’t met.

johnnightwrites
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> It seriously annoys me that we’re all so accustomed to thinking this kind of relationship dynamic is supposed to be normal. Look, men work on the basis of a “sacrifice/effort will be rewarded” mental model. It works well for other areas of our lives like work or school. The reality is that with women ‘being’ the right type X is rewarded. It’s like being a cover model. You put no effort in and you land on the cover based on being facially attractive. That’s it. The RP man does not give women gifts to earn sex. He spends the… Read more »

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[…] for the entirety of his marriage, believing that the privilege of being married means he’s getting his wife’s sexual best when it matters most. It kind of puts things into a lifetime perspective when you consider that […]

Yogi
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I’m not sure anyone is still following these comments, but I have a question about an alternate explanation. I find most people aren’t as intentionally manipulative as it often appears when a situation is being reviewed after the fact. What if the wife actually was sexually attracted to her husband as much as she was to the other men, perhaps even more so. Whit if, it was simply a matter of placing greater importance on having a relationship than on having the mind blowing sex. She wants both, but if she can only have one, she wants the security of… Read more »

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[…] Saving the Best continues to be a seminal post on Rational Male, not the least of which because so many men could relate to the experience. However, this may not have been the experience of discovering a sexual past his wife had no intention of ever allowing him to share with her , but rather the expectation men have of receiving a woman’s ‘sexual best’ in marriage. That may not amount to the sexual experimentation she had in her Party Years, but for a Beta who believes his patience and virtue are to be rewarded at long last it is… Read more »

Ryan
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Ryan
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Wow, all over a bit of anal..? Why would you even marry a prude in the first place?

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[…] beginning to effect on contemporary western(ized) culture. In that exploration I published Saving the Best (another TRP link), a story which revolved around the increasingly more common post-Epiphany Phase […]

lee
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lee
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The irony is the man says something similar to “I shouldnt have been drinking” and “I felt wrong for confronting her” and feels bad about how he handled it.

Truth is he ran solid dread game exactly how you should do it. He handled her treachery exactly how a man should. Dread, legal advice, divorce.

dbphreakdb
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dbphreakdb
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I have never been able to understand how men have been able to be with women that aren’t their personal slut. It’s always been a bullet point on my list of requirements for a relationship, though that is thanks to a rather crass uncle having ‘the talk’ with me as a youngster.

Odile Lee
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Odile Lee
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This is heartbreaking. When I read things such as this, I sadly understand why my ex husband ( who is still best friends with me – we broke up over mental health issues, which I could not fix for him ) came about his ( to me ) strange paranoias, and also the man Im dating ( second one ever, so pretty green here )- who two decades ago dated promiscuous women and is also very paranoid. Id no idea about such women, as I lived with severe disability for most of my life. Now that I am better able… Read more »

Brett Stevens
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It seems to me there are a bunch of issues here. The first is the female strategy of having sex with exciting men while settling down with nerds. I don’t use the terms Alpha and Beta here because over the years I’ve seen how the studs rarely are actually Alphas. They’re bad boys and those are fun until they hit their mid-30s and then they turn blown-out and creepy. The big issue that’s hiding here is that anonymity in a society permits this behavior. Living in a big city, where no one knows you, your actions are essentially anonymous. This… Read more »

LeSigh
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LeSigh
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Fundamental error: if you want to be with a partner that does something, pick a partner that does that thing. Don’t wait for him/her to change because it’s a risky bet. Honestly, the only problem here present is the idea of what anyone should/shouldn’t do and the idea that women’s sexual desires don’t change over time. Neither men nor women are obligated to participate in any sexual act that they do not desire. Some men like eating women out at one point in their lives and wake up one morning thinking it tastes kind of nasty. You’re allowed to change… Read more »

YOHAMI
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YOHAMI
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“how is this complicated??”

Thats when I knew you were a woman.

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[…] Up’ with an ultimatum for marriage. It may not be as damning as, I don’t know, finding an amateur porn video of her, but you’ll have a better idea of the context of the time line I detailed in Preventive […]

Lone Survivor
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Lone Survivor
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It shouldn’t be surprising, not for the nature of the female individual involved in the conflict but because of the behavior of his male counterpart. A person who drinks before addressing such a grave issue, further aggravated due to having a child with her, clearly lacks character strength, ability to think straight, and masculinity. The girl crying? the oldest trick in history. His emasculation becomes more evident when he discusses a topic that has no space for discussion. He should have told his wife: “found this video of yours, I want the divorce and full custody of MY child. you… Read more »

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[…] in which that happens that makes the difference. There are many men who’ve found their retroactive cuckolding after having based their personal successes on the presumption that those successes should be the […]

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[…] that the “promise” of dropping the good girl act ‘for him’ is what snags the beta. The promise of her “sexual best” and all. (which is why women that do ride the carousel go “born again” later, […]

rugby11ljh
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rugby11ljh
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“I am so fucking lucky. I got married to a whore, that fucks like a prude.”
Le flora…

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[…] Boys out of your system and he’s evolved enough to accept his retroactive cuckolding forgive your youthful indiscretion. The Modern Man understands that you were “so crazy back in college” and you want to do […]

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[…] Have a look at this guy’s story in Saving the Best: […]

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[…] Let’s not forget to mention the elephant in the room. She may have been some dudes little fuck toy before you and if she loved to role play for him and won’t wear lingerie for you, you’re the issue. If you need any more proof of this, read Rollo’s post: Saving the Best.  […]

Max Narvaes
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Wow, this got me mad as fuck

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[…] but was only able to have sex with her in as limited and as lackluster a way as she felt ‘comfortable‘ in having with him. After a year and a half of marriage, she’d completely “shut […]

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[…] Saving the Best | – Thanks for providing this Rollo. The primary reason men become preoccupied with women’s sexual past is rooted in ‘getting the best’ she has to offer … […]

goldeninova.com
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First of all I would like to say fantastic blog! I had a
quick question in which I’d like to ask if you don’t mind.
I was curious to know how you center yourself and
clear your head before writing. I have had a tough
time clearing my thoughts in getting my ideas out there.
I do take pleasure in writing however it just seems like
the first 10 to 15 minutes are lost simply just
trying to figure out how to begin. Any recommendations or hints?
Thanks!

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[…] (enlace al original en ingles) […]

redlight
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redlight
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@IAS

Certainly there are cargoships of women who rode the cock carousel and then beta bucked. However the scarecrows to be most effective always need videos (post about diaries or new-found social media accounts are far less effective, since men are visual). Women don’t need to keep a visual record, they keep an emotional record.

redlight
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redlight
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That was a comment meant for another thread discussing how 100% of stories about a husband finding a boatload of videos of wife having sex with random guys are fake, designed to target men’s emotions.

Tom
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Tom
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Updating Vidthrowaya21’s updates.

If you’d still like to read about the aftermath of his discovery- how he dreaded and ultimatumed his wife’s ass and she capitulated, ending up with the sex life most guys only dream about, the one’s I linked to got deleted for being too politicaly incorrect. The updates can still be read here though

https://en.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1rfco0/update_found_my_wifes_old_sex_tape_now_our/

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1spvre/update_iifound_my_wifes_old_sex_tape_now_our/

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1tmquf/wife33f_and_i36m_are_having_a_threesome_for/

Save em to your HD before the SJWs find em and delete thes ones too.

eghost247
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eghost247
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Reblogged this on eghost247.

Heather @atypeofflower
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Heather @atypeofflower
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I am a woman, and I am completely disgusted by this. First of all, that anyone would have such an orgy, much less film it. I think I came from a very sheltered background because when I got to college and learned what other girls were doing I couldn’t believe it. My idea of sorority girls being proper young ladies was definitely gone forever. What is really wrong is that it’s just like she was using him. She wasn’t fulfilling her duties as a wife for seven years but NOW she will, so he won’t leave? She doesn’t want him… Read more »

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[…] still, they’ll feed that rationale/fantasy in the hope that her Epiphany will include her saving her best sex for him since now she’s come to understand that it’s been the ‘nice guys’ […]

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[…] because “The past is the past, plus we weren’t together at the time I enjoyed getting gangbanged by the college […]

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[…] to her comfort (mental satisfaction) or some non-sexual qualification? I got into this topic in Saving the Best, but was she a wild and fun lay back in her college days yet lack-luster in bed with her […]

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[…] has written many great posts, but my favorites posts are “Betas in Waiting” and “Saving the Best“, two posts that I consider crucial for the destruction of what remains of the blue pill […]

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[…] that makes Othello look like the Marx Brothers. Here is one such, a tale of marriage today: “Saving the Best” and the follow-up “Betas in Waiting.” The author gives an analysis that cuts to […]

Army parrot
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Army parrot
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I’ve read this article several times and it makes me angry because i lived this no children though. I left a 5 year relationship with an unadmited 37 year now ex carousel rider. From the beginning there were many red flags; from the fact I got her naked on our 1 official date to the way she ” unconciously” flirted or stared at men. My anxiety and paranoia were through the roof like if I knew i was in a bad position. Her concious behaviour seemed to be solid but subtle things kept creeping up specially during the 1 year.… Read more »

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[…] Yazının İngilizce aslı : Saving The Best […]

Mr. Roboto
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Mr. Roboto
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@Rollo http://metro.co.uk/2017/10/05/slutty-women-dont-end-up-single-and-alone-actually-6978986/ From the article: “I am a respectable married lady. And before I was a respectable married lady, I was a bit of a slut.” “I got engaged at 24 and married earlier this year at 26. Before I met my husband, I was a bit of a slut. Not as much of a slut as I wish I had been, retrospectively, but certainly not any kind of nun. I had flings, I had one night stands, I had sex. I went to fetish clubs and sex parties and took naked pictures and posted them online. I also specialised… Read more »

kfg
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kfg
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The “respectable married” for a matter of weeks “lady” child is trying to form the narrative.

But I suppose only Red Pill men will, consciously at least, note that a 26 year old well short of her first anniversary proclaiming that she didn’t end up alone is a bit rich.

In 10 years she’ll likely have a respectable two kids and rapey divorce behind her and be writing an article trying to form a “respectable” Eat, Pray, Love narrative.

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[…] ניתן לקרוא את הפוסט המקורי כאן: https://therationalmale.com/2013/12/03/saving-the-best/ […]

barry
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barry
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jack shitz- what a hellish prospective that would be her-her own daughter (and parents)learning of what she did in the past(and probably what she likely was doing behind his back) which resulted in him divorcing her. i’m really sorry that the poor guy didn’t secretly sell off the house first,then cashing out his pension, putting the proceeds into a foreign account ,then confronting her with the video as a moving company truck is pulling up out front. i say this doubly so if the daughter isn’t actually his. let those 5 other dicks fight off paternity claims. she married him… Read more »

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[…] lust of a woman they’ve chosen to spend the rest of their lives with. I got into this in Saving the Best and Hats Off to the Bull, but I think it’s important for the average man today to […]

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[…] feral lust of a woman they’ve chosen to spend the rest of their lives with. I got into this in Saving the Best and Hats Off to the Bull, but I think it’s important for the average man today to acknowledge […]

Onyenemezu Clinton
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Onyenemezu Clinton
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I’d be telling a lie if I told you these past weeks have been hectic. My weeks have been hellish. My husband has refused to come home, if ever he calls, he only wanted to speak to our daughter or ask if there was anything we needed. He’d refused to see me after he came across a video of my nasty past life. In that video, I performed in every sexual act you could think of. Anal, fisting and all that. But that isn’t the sad part, the part of it all threatening my marriage was that I gave my… Read more »

Munir
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Munir
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The poor man is still considering her health assurance even she proved t him that he wasn’t more than a beta who was there to provide for her while she was making rules and limiting her sexuality with him. Why didn’t she consider that he deserved her best, while he considered she shouln’t lose the health assurance.

Chris
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Chris
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I feel like a plow horse. Definitely going to start working on myself right now and focus on my body and business.

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Lex Vitae
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[…] biggest gut-clenching “fear” is what I remember reading in Rollo Tomassi’s Saving The Best: “I got married to a whore, that fucks like a prude.”  Without any reference point to […]

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