When I first got laid in 1985, I went to the bathroom, toweled off the equipment and walked down to 7-11 for a big gulp. No blue birds landed on my shoulder to whistle Disney songs and no ray of sunlight broke through the clouds to shine on me. Nor did I think “damn, that was terrible, I’ve lost all respect for myself, I’ll never be the same again,…sob!”, it felt pretty good. The traffic lights still worked, the busses ran on time (sorta) and food still tasted good.
I’ve had sex with over 40 women since then. I got laid first when I was 17 and on average I’ve been having sex with my wife 2-3 times a week (and a hummer on her off weeks) for coming up on 17 years now. Sex is a great part of life, sometimes it’s memorable, sometimes it’s taking care of myself, but it’s never been some epic experience of cosmic importance. It keeps you healthy in body, mind and spirit, and the best I can describe sex is that it’s an important part of a balanced life experience. People have been fucking a lot longer than anyone’s had time to contemplate the esoteric significance of sex.
I can remember listening to an episode of the Tom Leykis show when he was on terrestrial radio, and he described what sex is like for men. He said, sex is like taking a piss for a guy – sooner or later he’s got to take care of himself and let loose. Now, most guys would prefer to take a piss in a nice clean bathroom, where the towels smell good and he can feel comfortable and unhurried. Sure, he’d love to have the occasion to take a piss in the bathroom of a four star hotel with gold plated faucets and all the trimmings, but when he really has to go, he’ll stop along the side of the road or take a piss at a dirty gas station urinal. Sooner or later he’s gonna have to go.
What prompted today’s post was my reading a recent blog entry of a notable christo-manosphere commenter. I’m not going to name him since I think most of the readers who frequent Rational Male from Dalrock or Sunshinemary’s blogs already know who I’m referencing. What’s important is his life’s plight. The nuts and bolts of his post was his lament in finding a suitable, monogamous mate to marry, have sex with and (presumedly) have a life and children with.
It’s not too tall an order for even the most abject Beta of men. To be sure, nowadays it increasingly requires a good amount of self-delusion and / or faith for a guy to consider monogamy, and red pill disillusionment can help or aggravate, but statistically more people are engaging in monogamy than not at some stage of their lives. However, this blogger feels doomed and relegated to what I can only assume is a self-inflicted life of celibacy due to his religious convictions and his inability to connect with the properly prescribed virgin bride who fits his ideal.
Now before I dive too far in here, I’m not going to debate the merits or limitations of this guy’s conviction. Before I started considering this post I realized I’ll be run up the moralist flagpole for even using his predicament as my example, but what I’m going to focus on is the need men (and by association women) have for sex. Try to keep this in mind.
Big Heads and Little Heads
One very common dismissal of red pill awareness I read from blue pill men is this feigned, blasé indifference to sex.
“All that Red Pill, PUA shit is for guy’s who obsess over sex. They only go to the lengths they do to get laid and never see the bigger picture. You don’t need sex you know, you wont die from not getting laid.”
For the most part this pseudo-indifference is really a feminized, conditioned, response couched in Beta Game. The idea, of course, is for the blue pill guy to promote the public perception that he’s above his sexual impulses in the hopes that any girl within earshot (or reading his comments online) will recognize his uniqueness in not letting his cock do his thinking for him. From a male deductive logic standpoint it makes sense to the feminized male – women have all told him how put off they are with guys who only think about sex, so he’ll identify with the women he’d like to get with and “not be like other guys.”
Boys subscribing to this identification usually find themselves sexually frustrated by the very women they hope to connect with in their sexual indifference because, on a core level, women are psychologically insulted by men who actively desexualize themselves in order to get with them. Despite every verbal protestation women can muster, women are aroused by, and ego-affirmed by, Men who unashamedly display the covert social cues of wanting to fuck them.
Thats the Beta Game behind the “you don’t need sex” Buffer, but there’s more too this rationale than that. Technically the Beta reasoning is correct; physically, you’re not going to die if you don’t get laid. You could probably masturbate to relieve yourself or live a sexless existence due to a physical disability and live a productive life as satisfying as you can manage it. If you don’t know what you’re missing or if a sexual substitute does the job, what’s the difference, right? The line of reasoning is that if it isn’t food, water or oxygen it isn’t really a necessity for existence.
From an absolutist perspective it’s one of those conveniently unassailable positions that excuse a guy’s inability to get laid – “no one really needs sex, and if you think you do you’re obviously preoccupied with it and letting your little head do the thinking for you.” By this line of reasoning, basic necessities like clothing and shelter could be considered superfluous needs for living, but since it’s sex, and in most respects hedonistically enjoyable, special consideration has to be given.
The unhealthy disconnect here is that human beings do in fact need sex. We can attach other ephemeral aspects to the sex act (or masturbation if that’s the only recourse), like love, emotion, commitment, etc., but on a base level your body needs sexual release in one form or another. Yes, you can willfully override the need, just like you can overcome hunger while you’re fasting or on a hunger strike, but the need is still the operative in that act of will. Once hunger, breathing and thirst are satisfied, sex is the single most influential drive the human species (really, most any species) is motivated by. Society is driven by sex, cultures evolve around it and personal achievements, as well as horrible atrocities are the result of our inborn prompt to satisfy our sexual urges.
Sigmund Freud once said, “all energy is sexual”, meaning that subliminally we will redirect our motivation for ungratified sexual impulse to other endeavors. Thus it’s men, being the sex with the highest amount of libido inducing testosterone, who must look for far more outlets to transfer this motivation to than women. So is it any real surprise that it’s historically been Men who’ve primarily been the empire builders, the conquerors, the creators, and destroyers who’ve (for better or worse) moved humanity the most significantly?
Life Experience
If I said I felt pity for men like the blogger I mentioned earlier, who through their own conviction or bad circumstance, have never had sex in their lives, I don’t think I’d be accurate in expressing myself. I feel a profound sadness for them; a sadness similar to when you meet someone who’s lost a limb or has had to live with a physical or mental disability. For guys who want to tell you that you don’t need sex to live a fulfilling life I’m sure this sounds like conceit. There are plenty of inspirational individuals who live their lives without arms or legs, or with other disabilities, that we can all look up to for “overcoming the odds”, but the reason they are inspiring is because they must strive for a quality of life that others simply take for granted. Run a marathon and it’s quite an achievement, but do it as a paraplegic and it’s a triumph of human will.
Sometimes a sexless life is a choice of conviction, but more often it’s not a choice for men, it’s simply their circumstance. I grieve every time I read a comment by, or receive a painful request for help from a late 30’s man who’s still a virgin. Sex is a part of a healthy human experience; if you want to apply meaning to it, if you only consider its legitimacy within marriage or monogamy, or if you enjoy sex with many women, the function is still the same.
I felt this way after I read the aforementioned blogger relating his frustration about his not being able to find an appropriate woman to wife under today’s social climate. This post isn’t an attempt to convince him to adjust his expectations; I can’t necessarily empathize with his convictions or his reasonings (I’ve always enjoyed sex, and never felt guilt for enjoying it), however, I can empathize with his deep desire to become intimate and sexual with a woman. This healthy human experience is denied to him by conviction, but it doesn’t alleviate his desire for it.
He needs sex.
It’s been four years for me. I feel dead inside. I get tons of attention because the thirst isn’t visible so I seem aloof, but i’m actually dead inside.
Without knowing the individual for certain I’d have a hard time guessing what his beliefs are, but most Christians would agree with your last line; that men need sex. That sex is necessary, healthy, and even holy. They just also believe that having sex outside of a marriage is sinful and will harm someone’s life in multiple ways. To me, the hard part is determining whether it is a problem of the man or the selection of women. If he doesn’t know for certain he can kindle attraction in ANY woman, how does he know he’ll light the burning passion… Read more »
As William S. Burroughs would say, “there was no more feeling in them than a crab’s eye at the end of a stalk.”
Rollo, I assume you were not raised Catholic?
You’ve forgotten MGTOW, who are the reddest pill, and who (generally) avoid sex.
The reddest pill? What is that supposed to mean? Celibate MGTOWs are just the bottom of the totem pole, the equivalent of truly unfortunately ugly women who turn to Star Trek, handicrafts or feminism and try to claim that they have rejected men rather than having been rejected by them.
I think most of Christianity’s history would agree with you that sex is a bodily or worldly need, and paradoxically because they agree with that, thinks that it should be secondary in the Christian’s life, to be overcome by the human will which is locus of the Christian’s life. Contemporary Christianity which seeks to “over-spiritualise” sex, that is, give it all kinds of existential and romantic meaning can be said to be the aberration of the Christian tradition. Pope John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body” which is today virtually the sex manual of Catholics would have been roundly rejected… Read more »
Hi let me say my piece – from an older guy (who has been around the block) point of view. I am 55 years old and was married for 23 years, to a virgin bride. Sex was very important and resulted in the birth of two beautiful children – after which I had the snip done. I enjoyed sex with my wife …… but so did other guys – which resulted in the divorce when she decided to cash in. I knew that she was cheating on me, so I resorted to having a different prostitute every month during our… Read more »
I think a lot of Christians hide behind the sanctity mask to avoid their SMV reality and engage in the ‘no true virgin’ fallacy as an ego protection method.
If they were to objectively look at their lives there would be a heck of a lot of sins they have let fly under the radar that didn’t endanger their self worth.
He, and pretty much all males need sex. Period. I’m sure this is theologically allover the map, but the following is how I feel about my experience with the moral code I tried my best to uphold to be Holy in the eyes of God, but in the end it was a lie that God had to decimate with the Red Pill. Before I married I suffered in Celibacy for many more years than my peers (and two preachers daughters), and even after I got laid I still felt this moral guilt for my “fornication”, though all the women I… Read more »
I’m a 38-year-old man and a Christian since I was 16. Never touched a woman intimately, much less had sex with one. Was preached to, shamed and condemned with guilt about meeting my male sexual … need… on my own before I knew what sex with a woman was about. They made us pledge our sexual purity by making the “True Love Waits” vow every year at the youth church camp. I made that vow because I wanted to please God and hoping that staying pure would mean that I could give my future wife something precious (and she for… Read more »
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You need masculinity as the main course…sex is the dessert.
If your life revolves around needing dessert…you miss out on enjoying the great steak in front of you.
There is a missing component to this analysis. Some men have hormonal systems that don’t give them much of a sex drive. The lack of sex and low socio-sexual score and sexual market place value combine synergistically to keep the sex drive at the extreme low tail end of the curve.
So these men are not only rationalizing away their celibacy as a deliberate act, but are also accurately self reporting what us normals would terms a “lack” of sex drive.
Yeah it really opened my eyes when I heard that supposedly good Christian girls were having their escapades (preferably with boys outside the Churchysphere so as not to raise suspicion). In the end the only people who actually took their chastity vows seriously were the guys. I’m just so cynical now that when presented with a Christian woman for marriage potential, of the following thoughts that cross through my head: 1.) She kept her vow of chastity and is a virgin 2.) She’s had anal and threesomes and orgies since she was fifteen years old. …I’m more likely to believe… Read more »
In fact I think the shaming comes more out of shaming masculinity altogether. Power is the essence of masculinity…but having sex with many ladies doesn’t mean you are necessarily any more of a man than a guy who can bench 315 or rake in a cool mil. 20% of guys can bench 315, 20% of guys know how to make a mil, 20% of guys get most of the lady’s attention….but what percentage of men have this but have also conquered themselves? My definition of masculinity is a man who has conquered all his fears, drives, and desires…and controls his… Read more »
The Bible hasn’t been in effect for a long time, following it is like trying to fit in as a samurai. And the dude wearing a robe and a couple of swords isn’t getting laid either
If the goal of Christianity is for humans to subvert their animal nature and achieve elevation, it seems to me that there is no longer any hope for Christian men. When the world around you has devolved into a sideshow of humanity’s basest instincts, the call for purity, nobility, chastity, etc. will fall on deaf ears.
Wow! this post sure did wake people up. I was lucky enough to go to a Private Christian College (sponsored/supported by a church that could be considered very conservative – we had bed checks every night – nuff said). They had a “no tolerance” policy about several things – and sex was one of them. It was a common occurrence for Bible Majors (those with the goal of becoming professional evangelists and teachers) to get caught having sex and “dismissed” from school. The last time I checked, every Christian I have ever met in my life, is also a human… Read more »
The “men don’t need sex” trope is common in Christian sex and marriage self-help books. The argument is that in the Christian worldview, sex is intended to be confined to marriage for the good of its participants and thus is holy (i.e. set apart, special). Sex should be experienced only in limited circumstances. And Christian boys and men are constantly hammered with: “No man ever died from not having sex.” It follows that sex is not a “need”. I’m convinced it’s a feminine need to control sex that drives all this — the Christian forays into marriage and sex self-help… Read more »
Now for the less esoteric stuff… I’m the one that quit having sex with my wife. That being said, she was hot-n-cold about it throughout our marriage (although she still states that it was me – which I take full ownership of what happened or didn’t happen). It’s been at least 4 years for me – but to tell you the truth, the more I learn, the more I read, the more I understand about all this Red Pill / The Way The World Really Works stuff – thinking about “women” just makes me mentally tired. I’ve chosen to spend… Read more »
To claim a righteousness for something that you already do not do begs of the “you have received your reward”. God created all things, called them good, and urged us to partake. Under the old dietary laws the eating if the “clean” animals in the prescribed was would help prevent disease and foster bodily health, but a starving man is a fool to let himself die with an abundance of bacon to keep him alive and available for God’s use. Starving to death because you wont eat whatnis available and abstaining by fasting to draw closer to God are two… Read more »
@ deti…
Then she is a rebellious woman and the guy she married isn’t a man.
The whole dynamic changes in marriage…before marriage you are supposed to keep your desires under control while displaying it covertly to her. Marriage it switches to where the man should get regular sex when he wants and she should submit to him. Christians seem to take the notion of celibacy and abstinence into marriage a little too seriously. You are only supposed to be that for a short time. In single life you are supposed to be that until marriage.
“All that Red Pill, PUA shit is for guy’s who obsess over sex. They only go to the lengths they do to get laid and never see the bigger picture. You don’t need sex you know, you wont die from not getting laid.”
…well i didn’t die.
But i can’t say i was a healthy individual, mentally, spiritually, emotionally or physically over those 12 years. I believe one or two of you might have read about that little period of my life.
This post hits so damn close.
“The “men don’t need sex” trope is common in Christian sex and marriage self-help books.” @ Deti It’s common quite everywhere actually. As Rollo stated, it’s espoused by Beta men whose own hamsters are running wild to justify their own station, by my ex-fwb who had the audacity to tell me that when i was an incel, but would avoid my direct challenge for her to stop having sex with her boyfriend, told by shrill feminists who view all male sexuality is rapey and an affirmation of ‘entitlement’ to womens bodies.. because as we all know, only women are allowed… Read more »
Sex is the number one thing that would get the health of the population skyrocket. After you had amazing sex with a young model looking female you just feel charged. When I was younger I had the one disease and plague after the other. When I started to get laid everything just disappeared. When you look around you, you can tell who gets laid and who not. The ones that get laid look a bit “off”. Their energylevels are completely outbalanced. There is a whole biological reason for that. Cortisone levels rise higher, fat storage around the stomac increases. No… Read more »
“About religion: you can only control unhappy people, and how do you make people unhappy?”
Take away God. Then every wordly thing becomes a greater need.
Wow powerful article RT!
I can understand where guys in general would get the notion that wanting sex is a terrible shame we should conceal. Just as you stated in the post about the average guy being scolded by chicks to not think with his dick.
M3:
As a guy who read your incel post and had to fight my own dusty room/throat lumps reading it because it felt so close to home, this post also made me sit up straight. When, and the better question is why, did we as men decide that giving up our desire for sex and being unashamed of our desires/lusts/needs become the modus operandi of life?
“When, and the better question is why, did we as men decide that giving up our desire for sex and being unashamed of our desires/lusts/needs become the modus operandi of life?”
Whenever birth control came into existance. Basically man was ashamed of his seed getting into a woman which is the highest form of disrespecting himself. Everything else that spiraled out of that as far as being ashamed came from that.
why, did we as men decide that giving up our desire for sex and being unashamed of our desires/lusts/needs become the modus operandi of life?
Because you thought (and were taught) it would get you sex.
[Exactly.]
You need masculinity as the main course…sex is the dessert. This is where I disagree – sex is part of the main course, not a dessert, not some treat at the end of the meal. Masculinity requires that a man have sex to be a Man, to fully embody masculinity. It’s not some unfortunate coincidence that the same testosterone which makes men capable of strength, confidence, determination, perseverance, violence and aggression is also the primary motivating hormone for sex. Men will build monuments to the sky and send fleets of ships to war for sex. It’s not some sweet-treat reward… Read more »
“Because you thought (and were taught) it would get you sex.”
Just like birth control seems to promise more sex…when in reality it leads to less. Less sex is because somebody is disrespecting masculinity.
In fact I would link all lack of respect for males in the present age back to those pills.
“Masculinity requires that a man have sex to be a Man, to fully embody masculinity.” Jesus never had sex…and I would love it if you told about how that guy didn’t fully embody masculinity. A 15 year old pipsqueak can have sex with a woman…is he any more of a man than a celibate priest who willfully gave up his life to the Nazis so that a married man he never met could return to his family. That’s who my avatar is…Maximilian Kolbe. Masculinity requires you to overcome all your fears…the greatest being death. The only reason why fear of… Read more »
Rollo, I wouldn’t have been offended if you had mentioned me by name and linked to the post (assuming that it was me, although I don’t see hot it couldn’t be) . In fact I have to admit to being somewhat honored that you read it. [I was being courteous. Thanks for commenting.] Nor do I disagree with much of what you state in your post. I am aware of the science concerning how important regular sex is to both male and female health. It is largely because of your regular resort to empirical evidence and science that I frequent… Read more »
Biblically speaking Jesus was / is God (the creator of all there is including sex), so it’s kind of redundant don’t you think? I think he gets a pass.
As far as your sexually active 15 y.o. is concerned, yes, he is. He’s had an experience that the majority of men in the history of the human race have had and your noble priest has not. Noble intent and self-sacrifice still don’t provide you with that masculine experience.
@Earl It is a debatable question as to whether or not gender is an essential feature of Christ, and the vast majority of the Christian tradition seems to think that it is not. The traditional “ideal” towards which mankind shall be redeemed into is that of angels, who are believed to be essentially genderless (“For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.” Matthew 22:30), and not forgetting the key verse of there being there “neither male of female” in Christ (Galatians 3:28), Thus in a sense, the… Read more »
“As far as your sexually active 15 y.o. is concerned, yes, he is. He’s had an experience that the majority of men in the history of the human race have had and your noble priest has not. Noble intent and self-sacrifice still don’t provide you with that masculine experience.” C’mon…the majority of men throughout the history of the human race have had sex. The percentage of men who go through their lives as a virgin are very small…even the blind squirrels get a nut once in a while. There are far less men who put their lives on the line… Read more »
“It is a debatable question as to whether or not gender is an essential feature of Christ, and the vast majority of the Christian tradition seems to think that it is not.”
Jesus is described as true God and true man. Gender was an essential feature of Christ.
He was a true human, but whether or not to be human means to be gendered is another question altogether, and many Fathers did believe that at the resurrection, we would still be “human”, but yet genderless, like the angels in heaven, etc.
Jesus was a Man – in fact, during his day, there were many people that believed he was prophet, not a savior, not God. The study of the original language used to describe him is very interesting and could be interpreted as either meaning “I am God” or “I am of God” – as in “I am God’s Son” or “I am a son of God”. Regardless – we don’t know if Jesus of Nazareth did or didn’t have sex – there is no real record of him beyond the Four Gospels written approximately 40+ years after his death (much… Read more »
I’m talking about his life before the resurrection…not after.
I’ll put this question into your head…would Jesus have done the same things if he came to this world as a woman?
Well fornication is a sin…and it was never documented that Jesus was married. I’m sure the savior of the world would have had it mentioned if he took a bride.
You can go with faith or logic on this one.
The evangelical church is a joke. It’s run by a bunch of alpha male leaders who have success, wealth, and hot wives because of their alphaness. Many of them were “prodigal sons” (AKA alpha bad boys) who did whatever the fuck they wanted to when they were young men. At some point they gave their lives to Jesus, planted churches, and became local celebrities. They love to tell young men how to live their lives, and mistakenly give Jesus the credit for all of their successes, which were obtained by being an aggressive alpha male, not through being a nice… Read more »
I did not deny that Jesus was a man before the resurrection, I am merely raising the question as to whether him being a man is an “essential” feature of his or merely something which he possessed while he remained in this world but which is transcended after he was resurrected. And therefore by extension, while being human entails being gendered in this world, it is a question whether we can be human without being gendered at the resurrection, and if not, this “delimits” the significance of the gender of Christ.
Needless to say when I swallowed the red pill I quickly came to terms with the fact that I needed to take ownership of my life, and develop my masculinity. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it) I no longer find any use or value in Christianity or the church. When I realized that my success with women was solely dependent on my efforts, I also realized that success in all other areas of my life also depend on my own efforts. And so I ask, if it all depends on me, why do I need Jesus?… Read more »
“Because you thought (and were taught) it would get you sex.” So very true. Even with a woman that I tried dating needed to be “friends first” so as to completely misunderstand her own attraction cues (she told me she wanted me but…), older than me, gave out for free earlier what I had to pay for now. I couldn’t swear or basically be a man so as not to hurt her idea as to what a man was. Sex? The fact I even thought about it wasn’t right. Yeah, next. ROK’s post today about the fanfare for the American… Read more »
“And so I ask, if it all depends on me, why do I need Jesus? ”
Your soul.
“Of course, this is entirely dependent on whether you actually believe in the resurrection or not, but the Christian faith in itself does not deal, at least not directly, with this worldly concerns and issues.” I understand this, and the message of the Gospel. The issue is that Christians are claiming this world doesn’t matter, yet their lives indicate that this world, and things of this world matter greatly to them. In sum, it’s double speak – “Jesus is enough!” – I hear this all the time from people who are have a high quality of life. In sum, when… Read more »
But I’ll wrap up with this…that Rollo and I aren’t too far apart in what we are trying to get across. In the world, sex is the highest experience of masculinity and when it comes to spirtually, overcoming all your fears is the highest experience of masculinity. I consider overcoming fears as a gold and conquering ladies as a silver.
So I’ll keep praying like everything depends on God and taking on the world like everything depends on me.
I’m atheist but I’ll field this one… Who has the authority to determine what God asks? If you believe in one, you follow that religion’s book. Failure to do so means you cash in your membership card. You listen to those that follow it not the Churchians. You confuse Churchians with Christians. There is very little difference in the way Churchians live and the way the secular folk do, this is very true. Christians live much differently. See earl’s example. Refrains from premarital because it’s his beliefs. So do Donal and others (Cane?). Christians live their lives in accordance with… Read more »
“If you believe in one, you follow that religion’s book”
Simple answer, let’s make this fun:
Catholic, Protestant, Orthodox?
Calvinism or Arminism?
Lutheran? Methodist? Anglican? Episcopalian? Evangelical? Non-Denominational? Charismatic? Word of Faith? Pentecostal? Greek Orthodox? Russian Orthodox? Egyptian Orthodox? Mennonites?
Shall we go with an offshoot?
JWs? Mormons? SDAs?
Of course, biblical interpretation is messy and difficult, and we have many theologies/denominations as a result, all of which are claiming some level of primacy and or superiority…
I believe there are more male atheists out there living better Christian lives than a lot of men in the church. However if women find a way to leave the church and pollute atheism…the men will come back to the church.
Holy crap! It looks like I just walked up into a Category 5 DERPicane!!! Man WANTS sex…..he doesn’t NEED sex. Sex is a physical and emotional act. And it’s been a harbinger of men ever since Eve bit that apple. From the physical perspective, the endorphine rush associated with climax can be had just as easily masturbating as it can doing it inside a hole. In addition, there are other things you can do to capture that release of endorphins as well i.e. high stress physical activity, heavy weight lifting…and even drugs although that might not be a good choice.… Read more »
Answer to “making this fun”: Doesn’t matter. If you believe and follow the tenets of the faith, you live that way. If you play fast and loose with them, you hand in the membership card. Basic Christianity involves living a certain way. A lot of “Christians” don’t live the way they profess. PIck one, follow the tenets, go from there. If you believe Orthodoxy (Rus/Grk/etc.) is the way you get closer to God, then go that way and that’s the authority of which you follow. If Calvinism, then their interpretation of God is the one you follow. God is fluid… Read more »
In b4 Matt King. Have you ever had noble intent or self-sacrifice…that is the thing that is more of the masculine experience than sex ever will be. Yes, and I’ve had sex too. Who’s had a more complete masculine human existence thus far? You’re qualifying masculinity with high-order morality and noble purpose – I’m sure that’s part of the meal you described, but it’s not everything that’s on the plate so to speak. There’s no end to the white knights who believe in the virtue of their own noble sacrifices, would you call them great examples of masculinity? You’re debating… Read more »
I understand this, and the message of the Gospel. The issue is that Christians are claiming this world doesn’t matter, yet their lives indicate that this world, and things of this world matter greatly to them. In sum, it’s double speak – “Jesus is enough!” – I hear this all the time from people who are have a high quality of life. In sum, when we break it down, there is very little difference between how Christian’s are living their lives and how non Christians are living their lives. I think whenever we hear Churchians proclaim that “Jesus is enough”,… Read more »
“There’s no end to the white knights who believe in the virtue of their own noble sacrifices, would you call them great examples of masculinity?”
No…because they are sacrificing their masculinity to get poon.
A noble sacrifice enhances your masculinity…irregardless if you get poon or not.
“a noble sacrifice enhances your masculinity…irregardless if you get poon or not.”
now that right there is a level of self-awareness and intelligence that the poon chasers and men who center their life around poon will never be able to achieve!
I think some people are jaded and don’t have sex for that reason. It’s not necessarily because their SMV is too low and they’re in denial. It’s that they kind of don’t care. They really don’t see the value in sex and marriage, or they see the value but it doesn’t seem to rise beyond a threshold that requires action. That’s me to some extent. I’m very religious and very skeptical of what a woman would contribute to my life, other than sex. So it’s kind of a trade-off. As a Catholic, sex comes with a lot of burdens and… Read more »
@ JZB
“In sum, the red pill has taught me that I’m the only one who cares about my needs, and I’m the only one who can see my needs met. Prayer, reading the bible, the Holy Spirit, and Jesus are not going to meet my needs. And the church doesn’t give two shits about my needs.”
Amen! lolz
And the shit storm continues… @SDL…I assume you do not believe in “sex without marriage” – and the I can only assume you believe that because “sex (with anyone other than your wife) is a sin”. No judgments here, just making that assumption from what you wrote. And I’m going to assume that you believe masturbation is a sin (just from the statement of you have given it up) – otherwise why would give it up? @ThePatriotBlogPost…I agree with you, I personally have about 5 more years before I get all my money back – and quit supporting my STBXW… Read more »
“a noble sacrifice enhances your masculinity…irregardless if you get poon or not.” now that right there is a level of self-awareness and intelligence that the poon chasers and men who center their life around poon will never be able to achieve! ” True, but there’s a vast difference between living a life as a pussy chaser/beggar and living a life where you have sex on a regular satiated basis and living a life without doing what you were biologically created to do. True exceptions to the side such as Monks and Masichists.. most men if given the choice would rather… Read more »
Holy shit, my lay count is roughly equal to Rollo Tomassi’s. Blue birds actually are singing on my shoulder right now.
And this right here is what I’d expect from guys making their necessity a virtue.
You do realize you’re only making the point of this post for me, right?
yep…..i realize that bro…..but you had some disillusioned idiots in some of the commentary that were trying to make life all about sex. :-o)
As I mentioned on another blog, I think different guys have different levels of sexual energy or “drive.” I’m a 43-yo virgin. When I was young person, I was short, ugly, poor, and perfectly comfortably with my solitary geeky pursuits and high standards, so none of the women in my league were ever attractive enough for me and, so far as SMV went, I couldn’t raise my own SMV to pull what I would have wanted. When I accepted this in my early 30s, it was the most liberating thing that’s ever happened to me since I dumped religion in… Read more »
Mr. Tomassi:
Is it your position that persons specifically need sexual activity with other persons? Or does masturbation constitute a form of “sex”? Or does masturbation just constitute a form of palliation that can lessen some of the burdens of going without sex but can never provide the remedy that sex with other persons supposedly provides?
I grew up in Texas. And illegal aliens were as common as sunshine down here and we thought nothing of it. Remember this was 40 or 50 years ago. They showed up in my elementary school in the first grade wearing khaki pants, black Pachuco shoes, and white tee shirts because that was all their parents could afford. The couldn’t speak a word of English and the school put them in with the Mexican teachers. They went to a separate reading group and usually by third grade they were speaking English fairly well. They still spoke Spanish amongst themselves. The… Read more »
@MarkMinter
And that folks, is why I love this specific blog and the Men are willing to share their stories.
This is fantastic. Rollo, look at the lively debate you have created.
Once again, hat tip to you sir.
@Minter,
/comment thread
Great Rollo,
So now all the women are saying
“Rollo’s wife only has to have sex with him 2-3 times a week and he’s alpha and he’s content. Where do you get off wanting it every night? I am going to sleep now. ”
You think I’m kidding? Where do you think I heard this question from?
Mark fucking Minter. Haha!
Let’s not misquote me, now. What I *said* was: “Rollo’s wife only has to put out 2-3 times a week. Did you see that? 2-3 times a week And he seems happy with it.”
Rollo, I understand he needs sex, but I think he’s going to kill me with that thing! HEEEEELLLLPPP 😉
Just to clarify, the “Mark fucking Minter” was for the long post. The Kate connection thing, not sure if trolling…
All joking aside, I thought I knew, but I never *really* knew how important sex is to men. I so want to see donalgraeme (and other men like him) with someone worthy. The only caution I’d make is, don’t set your sights at an unattainable level. I know how hard it is to find people. And I think when you’ve come this far down the rabbit hole, the only people you’d even consider are people from this world. Just keep putting your thoughts and ideas out there. Its man’s modern mating call. Are you prepared to do a nationwide search?… Read more »
MFM FTW. Period.
“Booty is so strong that there are dudes willing to blow themselves up for the highly unlikely possibility of booty in an other dimension. There are no chicks willing to blow themselves up for a penis.”
– Joe Rogan
avd @punks …who need to validate their worldview through pushing nonsense on well-meaning males: “To my itty bitty striving lower betas who worship me… I grew into my manhood via youtube videos, so take that. I’ll bet you 5 big fat fucking dollars that I can become a boss within a year on any non-PUA site, including the holies of holies, Heartiste, RationalMale, et al, by running off all commenters who dare to cross me, via the injection of such a level of negativity to the discussion that no sane man will tolerate my feminine presence, and the rest of… Read more »
” Do you think Einstein would have been as great a contributor to science if he was always focused on chasing poon.”
Apparently Einstein had a penchant for little Gypsy girls and married a Serbian girl in his class.
Tesla on the other hand…..
We all need tripple X.
And it’s not true that men need it more.
It’s just that women have different ways of showing it.
If you ever listen to two women talk, you’ll find out that they are most giggly when they talk about sex.
However, the case is bad all over.
There are also women who are 30+ who are still virgins too.
It’s a shame on both sides.
When will men and women ever get along?
Xtiana
Christiana: Frustrated much? Not true that men need it more? But hey, isn’t it infinitely far easier for women to satiate the need, no? “There are women who are 30+ who are still virgins too.” Classic example of NAWALT? So what’s wrong with them? Low sex drive? “True Love Waits”? “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”? Pastor(s) said so? Flaked / rejected decent men who were so boring that they couldn’t give her the tingles? Career first? The many toys she keeps in her drawer and in her office? Why should men get along with women who pissed on them when they… Read more »
WWMFMD?
Maybe not blowing themselves up, but it is a source of pride to give a guy an erection. I heartily approve of men giving women status updates on that sort of thing 🙂
As always – the topic of SEX has driven people to extremes. This discussion has both intrigued and bewildered me – but I like it!
OK, this is completely off topic… /hijack Mark Manson of Postmasculine said in an email I just received “This past month has been a bit unpredictable for me. Earlier this week I announced that I will be writing two books instead of one (the one I’m currently working on) and that I’ll be changing Postmasculine to become gender neutral.” Did I just read that right? I mean I really like his stuff and thought his move out of strictly PUA was probably the right move, but to become “GENDER NEUTRAL” on a site that has the word “masculine” in it?… Read more »
I’ll just respond by saying the Rational Male book will be published in July and it will not be gender neutral.
WWMFMD?
This is hilarious!
Kate! Holy crap! Well done!
And Mark Effing Minter. Same to you! Well done, Sir!
Rollo, while you go into the psychological reasons why men justify not having sex, it doesn’t really deal with the fundamental question: ‘Does a man need to have sex? If he does, then how much/often?’ The two perspectives that answer that question usually fall into one of two camps: – The Kinsey camp (hedonism is normal.) – The Christain camp (asceiticism is normal.) And I frankly don’t trust either of them. Kinsey was a sexual deviant who twisted the data in his studies. And Christians are too eager to cling to the book instead of testing whether it’s claims are… Read more »
“I’ll just respond by saying the Rational Male book will be published in July and it will not be gender neutral.” You just called your book an “it”! I propose your book from now on be referred to as “he.” 🙂
@Stingray: hehe 🙂
An interesting take.
http://www.mavericktraveler.com/too-much-chocolate-can-be-harmful-to-your-health/
@Earl
Read it. Personally I agree with it. And although I had not specifically termed my current phase as “stockpiling gold” – I think that’s probably as close to it as any phrase. I have had my notches; I have had my wife (soon to be ex-wife); I have had my children (soon to be all 18+; but I didn’t necessarily finish my journey from a “gold” perspective – got close – but like Icarus, lots of effort but ultimately failed.
I believe sex is important, just not the MOST important aspect of being a Man.
@Rollo
Once again, somewhat of a hijack here – because I have a question for you to ponder and potentially create a post out of it for further explanation…
Is the Red Pill only for Men? Do women really need to take it?
Curious what your thoughts are on the subject – I’ve been thinking about it on and off since discovering the Manosphere. Appreciate your and any one else’s feedback. (My opinion that like Viagra, the Red Pill has the greatest affect on Men and is probably detrimental to women).
Women can take some advice too from this article as for what you mentioned at the end about expectations and perhaps lowering the bar a bit
It’s funny that the men who will say “I need sex!” are the first to deny that they need a woman. You can’t have one without the other. It’s akin to saying you can’t do without the internet, but you don’t need a computer. But as you may become sad over a man who says he has never had sex, I lament the man that has let his mind, body, and (dare I say) soul become controlled by a desire for sex, living life just looking for the next relief. Saying sex is a ‘need’ does not make it so.… Read more »
> I think most of Christianity’s history would agree with you > that sex is a bodily or worldly need, and paradoxically > because they agree with that, thinks that it should be > secondary in the Christian’s life, to be overcome by > the human will which is locus of the Christian’s life. Not true. Willpower is useful to anyone devout and moral. Just like marching in rows is useful during Boot Camp. But the goal of Christian life is to have your inner self changed by God in a way that makes willpower obsolete. Just like during actual… Read more »
Is sex a ‘need’? And if so, what is the need: sex with another person or sexual expression generally that might, or might not, include masturbation? Is a ‘drive’ the same as a ‘need’? Are ‘horrible atrocities’ just the consequence of a ‘need’? Are sexual urges associated with such atrocities analogous to needs? If so, where do we draw the line if we say sex is a necessity? Does it mean we accept ‘horrible atrocities’ because they are committed out of necessity? Sex can be fun, a form of stress release, bring people closer, create connection, trust, hope, security, invigorate… Read more »