For the longest time I never had a plan. Oh, I knew what I wanted to do in life; something artistic, publicly recognizable, flamboyant, but the path to get to that reality was never really concrete for the 17-19 year old mind. First and foremost I wanted to get laid. I had aspirations and I recognized my innate talents, but I really had no plan.
At first I did what most conditioned Betas do at 17 and followed the ‘official’ script approved by the feminine imperative – nice guy > rapport > comfort > commitment > monogamy > and if magical predestined sex happened to be graced upon me at one of these stages then it was all the confirmation of process any Beta required. But still I had no plan. It felt like a plan, but it never quite played out as a plan once that plan came together.
Serial monogamy with a ONEitis girlfriend seemed like a plan. That’s what the imperative had always reinforced and it seemed logical. Man, did I ever hate the guys who had the capacity (ability) to entertain multiple women concurrently. How could the women so enthralled by these ‘players’ not see their deviation from the ‘official’ approved script of the feminine imperative? Didn’t they know they were wrong in their deviation? Why did women reward them with sex and intimacy, and why did they do so without the prerequisite steps laid out and approved by the imperative’s teachings? The FI had always taught me women were to be treated with default respect – as gender equals, as rationally acting an independent agent as my(equal)self. Could they not rationally conclude, as I did, that they themselves were rewarding the very Men who deviated from the plan that the imperative had set before all of us?
I didn’t realize it at the time, but what I failed to consider is that women’s innate Hypergamy was in conflict with the plan of the feminine imperative. Later in life, the male offspring of the feminine imperative (Betas) would come to realize the true plan of the imperative, and the supporting, provisioning role it conditions them for in raising other men’s genetic legacies, or their own, less than optimal ones. Either by self-realization or self-actualization men, even the most beta men, usually come to realize the plan of the imperative. For some it’s a sad realization, too late to really do much of anything but moderate the impact the plan had. For others, it might be freeing in a post-divorce separation from not just their wives but the plan the imperative convinced them of. And still for others, it’s the relief of having sidestepped the consequences of a life-impacting ideology.
Making a Plan
There’s a clever Jewish saying that goes, “Man plans, God laughs.” It’s kind of endearing in a patrician way, but it really amounts to another saying by the world’s most famous Beta, “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.” Or in other words, ‘it is what it is’ and you never really had any influence over the circumstances that have led to your present conditions.
I used to believe this. I used to think that having a plan was more or less irrelevant, because ultimately you’re really never in control of what happens to you. My Mother used to give me grief about being “obsessed” with bodybuilding and staying in shape. She’d say, “you never know what tomorrow will bring, you could get cancer or hit by a bus, and then all that fussing over your body will be a waste.” I remember telling her yes, but this is how I want to look now, I wont care about it in a casket.
Those were always some interesting conversations, but the fact of the matter is I really had no plan for myself of my own creation.
Failing to Plan
Failing to plan is planning to fail. My Marine buddies like this line. In the military I’m sure it was a great mantra, but how many of us allow things to happen to ourselves as the result of not having and sticking to a plan? I’m not saying we ever have a complete control over our circumstances, but when we don’t have a plan the plans of others influence the consequences of our own conditions. As I illustrated above, when a young man has no plan the feminine imperative is already there with its own – ready to fill that void for its own purposes, ready to convince that young man that its plan was really his own concept.
One thing I’ve always advised the high school forum readers on the Sosuave forums is to plan for success when they sarge a girl they like. So many of these young Men get so absorbed in the mechanics and anxieties of asking a girl out, or maneuvering to become intimate with her that they don’t plan for success. I tell them to expect success, so plan for that eventuality, and there’s a foundational reason for this.
Suddenly a girl agrees to go out with him and he has no plan for a date. What this telegraphs to her is she’s agreed to a date, agreed to potential intimacy, agreed to a hypergamic assessment, with a guy who hasn’t thought past the getting a date part. His lack of a plan revealed his Beta essence – he wasn’t expecting to succeed, she detects this on a limbic level, and the context, the frame, of the date becomes one of working back from a Beta presupposition.
An Alpha mindset expects success. One of the key tenets of Game is irrational self-confidence, and while this is a core element of Game, its successful application hinges upon follow through – and follow through requires a plan. Whether that plan is about a PUA on an insta-date after a successful sarge or that plan is about banging the wife you reserved your virginity for on your honeymoon night, the conditionality is the same – Alphas already know what they want and have a concrete plan of where they want to go.
Confidence
One of the more frequent questions I’m asked on the SS forums is,
“Rollo, I understand confidence is the most attractive aspect about men for women, how do I develop confidence?”
Confidence is an interesting concept, not just in it’s application with women, but in a meta-life sense. Confidence has been elevated to this mystical realm so we read,..”The reason you fail is because you don’t believe in yourself enough.” This is a very similar mechanic to the ‘Just Be Yourself‘ line of reasoning. It’s something people say when they don’t know what else to say – “aww man you just need to be confident with her, that’s what the bitchez want, just look at any PoF profile, confidence, confidence, confidence,…” What they’re not explaining is that confidence is derived from past successes and the inherent knowledge that you can repeat those successes again.
I understand the frustation; women say just be yourself, guys say just be confident, both imply some nebulous quality that only those in the know really have a grasp of. I’ve addressed the JBY principle before, but how do you get this confidence women declare is so important in their list of demands?
Confidence is derived from options.
When you know you can repeat your past successes, or you have the resources to repeat concurrent successes already available to you, you have confidence. This is the code women are asking for when they claim to want confidence: “I want a man who has the presence of a man that other men want to be and other women want to fuck.”
The great irony of this is that the male confidence women want, that exceeds a woman’s deserving of that confidence, will always be considered conceit. Why? Because that confidence conflicts with the plan of the feminine imperative. It’s sexy as hell, but it represents too great a Threat to the feminine imperative.
As I stated in my Plate Theory series, it’s much easier to have an ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude when you really don’t give a fuck. If you maintain a presence of non-exclusivity with women, and down to each individual woman, the straightjacket of the plan of the feminine imperative begins to loosen. Included in YOUR plan is a sampling, and filtration of, women who have a genuine desire to be with you. Not a mitigated desire, not an obligated desire, but a genuine desire to associate themselves with the potential you represent, confidently, prospectively and sexually. It doesn’t seem like filtration or vetting in this sense that you’re cognitively looking for the perfect mate – the perfect mate presents herself to you.
Too many guys think they can’t spin multiple plates. They think it MUST mean they MUST banging every available woman at their disposal and wanton sex is the ultimate goal. This is the distortion my critics hope to attach to Plate Theory,..
“Rollo says to fuck anything that moves, that’s outrageous!”
No, but the concept of non-exclusivity does fundamentally disagree with the plan of the feminine imperative, which is why the FI and its agents rely upon those distortions to maintain the imperative’s social dominance.
If you have the confidence that comes from having succeeded at a task with predictable regularity in the past, you can say with a reasonable expectation that you are confident to repeat that task in the future. In the context of a career, a sport, a particular social engagement, or maybe a talent or skill we all stand up and applaud that individual’s confidence – they make it look easy. Say you’re confident with women, say you’ve had success in the past with them, and you are a player, even when you are a devoted husband of many supportive years, make this declaration and you are a deluded, typical male.
But confidence is what chicks dig Rollo,..WTF?
It’s not the confidence, it’s the plan. YOUR plan. It’s easy to give illustrations about men having date plans beyond the approaching her, but this is only one example of the overall planning a man must have in his life. Alphas plan. That may be cognitively or not, but their confidence is evolved from a sense of others, of other women recognizing their unspoken plan.
The reason that Frame is the first Iron Rule of Tomassi is that it relies so much upon a man having such a concrete plan that he will exclude others, even potential mates from it if situation warrants it. A Man’s plan needs to supersede his desire for sex, but also includes using sex to effect it.
Full stop.
“My God Rollo, are you suggesting that sex be an inclusive part of a Man’s plan even if he has no intention of long term commitment to her?”
In terms of a plan, yes. That may seem immoral or dehumanizing of me, but stop and think about it. Is it any more immoral or dehumanizing than the plan of the feminine imperative on a personal scale? What about a global, legalistic scale?
Is it beyond the pale of hypergamy?
Begin with the Ending in Mind
But we’re better than that right? We’re the nobel, chivalrous, honorable sex. It’s our commission to ensure that women fall in line because they know not what is right for themselves. (insert Arthurian prose here)
That’s nice prose, but hardly a plan. For all of the control and guidance women really seek (a nice way to say dominance) in a man, it really comes down to the direction of his vision. Is she confident in you? The biggest meta-shit test you will ever face as a Man is in replacing the plan of the feminine imperative with your own. How audacious! How cocky! How dare you?!
Begin with the ending in mind. As per the first Iron Rule of Tomassi, she enters your frame, she enters your reality, she is the curious actor, she is the inquisitive one, she explores the world you create for her, it’s your friends, family and cohorts she encounters. If you feel the reverse is true in your LTR, you’ve enter her reality, and the narrative, the question of whose plan is in effect is answered for you.
Best successes I’ve had with women were following this advice you’ve written here. Have something in mind to invite her to go along with. Best things are either a part of your life already – activities you do on the regular that she can join you in. Hiking, biking, going to museums or art gallery openings, etc. The other is to keep a list of things you want to do but haven’t made time for yet. That trip outside the city to a beach, a tour of a brewery, distillery, vineyard, etc. View women as opportunities. Like any opportunity in… Read more »
“…..but it really amounts to another saying by the world’s most famous Beta, “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans” John Lennon was the world’s biggest beta? He shagged his way around the world in the Beatles hayday, was a famous rockstar, spent a good proportion of his life off his head on top quality drugs, was recognised worldwide for his immense talent and made a fortune. I can think of bigger betas. Good article otherwise but I’m not having that. Yoko was a bad move, but if you’d ingested as much acid your judgement might… Read more »
I was all fucked up regarding dating after my divorce. Then one day it dawned on me, planning was planning. If I could plan a patrol I could plan an approach and date and how to get her naked.
Great ending: ” If you feel the reverse is true in your LTR, you’ve enter her reality, and the narrative, the question of whose plan is in effect is answered for you.”
It makes the abstract of the Female Imperative so concrete. I can feel the nagging, the perfunctory social obligations, the honey-do list. Morality is getting the fuck out of that shit, man. We don’t have the political reins.
Great post. Its very positive for a man to read this. Do your thing, have a plan and if she doesnt follow, another will. Once you have spinned plate and tasted diversity, staying in a relationship is very hard. It takes self control. Your women must understand that your exclusivity is your gift to her. Your behavior must reflect this all the time. Just keep doing your stuff. Sport, working out, shopping, going out with the boys. If shes with you and spread her leg every night, youre doin the right thing.
On Day 2’s and having a plan:
http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/three-strikes/#comment-2986
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/09/11/the-4-date-misrule/#comment-366278
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/09/11/the-4-date-misrule/#comment-366627
“There’s a clever Jewish saying that goes, ‘Man plans, God laughs’.”
Remember, He could be laughing at you.
Or with you.
Make plans, of course.
But be prepared for both their success and failure.
I shed a few tears at the ‘plates spinning’ part. Bravo. Might as well rename this blog Masculine Imperative.
liar
Speaking of plans, when is your book being released? I have a standing order ready for 10+ copies to shove into friends faces.
Rollo,
Outstanding post. This is one of the best you’ve written. It really ties together multiple themes and concepts into a coherent overall “Plan”.
BTW, you were absolutely right about Susan Walsh from day 1. I’ll admit for a time I really thought she could be a “friend of men” and provide a balanced POV, but ultimately you are correct that she is simply looking to sanitize and co-opt “Game” concepts for the feminine imperative.
Men as a whole are simply seen as faceless drones that perform work. When you’re born the only people that really care for you to succeed are your parents and even that is subverted when your parents believe in a system solely designed to exploit them and will unwittingly offer up their kid as sacrifice. I think the whole thing is designed to shake loose the wheat from the chaff and the individual man decides his fate. It’s the ultimate shit test. How strong does a guy have to be to see through every bit of social conditioning that has… Read more »
why do you say “women reward men with sex and intimacy”
rewarding has got nothing to do with it, reads like more FI to me, but with sex for her with someone she wants
It’s a business proposition for women,it’s time men learned to keep the emotions in check and do the same.
Excellent post,maybe the best yet.
Simple,yet clear and concise.
Sometimes I wish I could see women as dispassionately as I see men.
dude i love your shit. sometimes i feel you go off with the talking points and catch phrases and such. but its stuff like this that keeps me coming.
you have a way of clarifying the situation. while others may write well, have points and such, much of the writing is either focused on the many distractions or is directed at crafting a facade.
you keep focus, and your writing is directed at crafting the man. thank you for existing rollo.
Hehehe, your welcome. I’ll do my best to continue to exist.
Brilliant. For my late teens and early 20’s this was exactly me. If you weren’t a utility to my life plan at the time, you were there to interact and chat with, but otherwise invisible. No matter how hot, flirty, or sexually available she was to me. As a result the girls flocked to me, and I couldn’t truly understand why. Nor could my envious friends. I constantly heard stories about said girls who thought I was hot, or sexy, or how they would give me “the night of my life”. But I would always just laugh and say “that’s… Read more »
I look at confidence as what is derived from a male solipistic mindset.
We learn by doing…once you figure out what works…keep doing it and the confidence increases.
To me, this is the money quote: “It’s not the confidence, it’s the plan. YOUR plan.” Whose plan are you going to follow? Whose plan will you use? Know that everyone around you wants to tack things onto your plan, get you to modify it or excise certain things from it, or even get a new plan. Your woman probably has a plan of her own. Am I bashing women here? Not at all. She has her own plan, informed, molded and shaped by the feminine imperative, her ambition, her hope for a husband and children, or any number of… Read more »
I could read stuff like this all day every day. Where’s the hell’s the book? Thought you were shooting for a mid – March publication.
2nd round of final edits. Soon, very soon,..
I’ll second that, heh. Will probably need to purchase more copies than i can utilise. A friend who is about to get married to a controlling, jealous woman, but its ok cause he’s “so in love” yes ill see that in a decade. The worst part is the company he is MD of is his fathers who built it from nothing.
I think a better response to:
is:
Yes, that’s a little out of character for me.
I had exactly this mindset into my earlier 20’s. Then I developed a “next girl up!” mentality. I don’t know what happened but a switch flipped and I just quit giving a damn about them and started thinking about women as being put there for my pleasure, rather than the reverse. If a girl shot me down, I’d try to take her girlfriend home, and frequently succeed. (Occasionally a useful game tactic there, BTW). This resulted in a few fun and mildly depraved years. Eventually I met a really good woman that I thought had long term potential and I… Read more »
Danger’ s post reminds me of something my father told me. To paraphrase
Every man must have a mission statement for his life based on his ambitions, talents and desires. It has to be tailored made for each individual man. You cannot borrow it from someone else. And you should not change it on a whim but only when cold hard reality forces you
This post is meant to be intellectual/moral, and not behavioral/ethical. Remember, “In girl-world, women are the sole arbiters of relationship wisdoms – men are simply foils for their legitimacy, even in the best of pretenses.” What I love about the ‘Rational Male’ is that it doesn’t need to change the world to help the individual. If this “manosphere” is to make those men capable of being creators and not only exploiters/destroyers, consider: 1) The current basis is nihilistic in nature, and thus quite easily exploitable. From Minter: “There is no meaning here. No meaning to Game. There is no grand… Read more »
Rollo, do you know your Myers-Briggs type?
“The biggest meta-shit test you will ever face as a Man is in replacing the plan of the feminine imperative with your own” Brilliant thought! But this one is not easy. What precisely is this “feminine imperative”? “Date chicks, do things for chicks, slave to chicks, work for chicks, entertain and sleep with chicks, marry chicks, make children to chicks, protect those children and chicks, think about chicks, LIVE with chicks, die for chicks, derive your manly value from chicks, think what to do to be “worthy” of chicks.” And? Something else? Can you tell me which part of feminine… Read more »
Care to qualify this?
https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/04/24/the-pet/
Ask the guy married for 18 years with 4 children whose wife leaves him for a greater Alpha for no other reason than her impulse for optimized hypergamy if women have the potential to ‘go feral’.
@rollo
Feral: having reverted to the wild state, as from domestication.
Different T,
While I agree with your criticism that game suffers from a lack of normative ethical standards, faulting men for “nihilism” while denying that women have the same potential makes your bias obvious. “Nihilism” and “going feral” are ethical equivalents.
This being said, I’m curious as to what your normative standards are.
Oh, and ethics is the philosophical pursuit of morality so your distinction between intellectual/moral and behavioral/ethical is nonsensical.
What are you trying to do again?
Hypergamy and Game are biological tools. Ethics and Morals are social tools. When they go head to head, biology always wins.
@Love’s Orphan
Agreed, but it could be argued that the formation of cultural norms was biologically and evolutionarily beneficial. In that case, biology and morality are synergistic.
Inter gender relations, however, resemble a marketplace more than any sort of biological mechanism meaning they are open to just as much exploitation and corruption from both the buy and sell side.
“You better lock your fucking body up” Anyone that’s been to Marine Corp boot camp recognizes this phrase. Come to the position of attention. When a Marine recruit speaks to anyone, and I mean anyone, other than another recruit, he must come to the position of attention. Body straight and erect, feet, touching at the heels, toes at a 45 degree angle, hands curled almost into a fist, thumbs placed along the seams of the trousers, eyes to the front, expressionless face, shoulders back, chest out. And you do not move. For anything. Parris Island is notorious for sand fleas… Read more »
@The Narrator While I agree with your criticism that game suffers from a lack of normative ethical standards Game is a means for males to get what little value they can in the insanity of a FI dominated environment. It suffers from a desperate rationalization for behavior because it is essentially nihilistic and relies on the FI for its values. faulting men for “nihilism” while denying that women have the same potential makes your bias obvious. To what does this refer? “Nihilism” and “going feral” are ethical equivalents. No, they are not. Additionally, They are not feral is a statement… Read more »
@ Mark Minter: epic post.
Minter is to King A what filet mignon is to a Big Mac.
Only gripe: lay off the Army, please…I know the Marines make it a point to belittle the Army every chance they get, but I’d bet that the GI’s who froze to death at Bastogne, or hit the beach at Normandy, know a thing or two about fighting — and about locking up.
Keep writing, man. You’re a Truth Teller.
Is someone who is feral (or outside of domestication) necessarily a nihilist? Seems so. Is someone who is a nihilist necessarily feral? No. But that doesn’t change the fact that both are motivated exclusively by self-interest and uninhibited by the moral boundaries of others. Game is the antithesis of the feminine imperative. Game is saying “I am going to do what is in my self interest regardless of what is in the interest of females.” This is why it is perceived as nihilistic. The feminine imperative is also nihilistic. It does what it wants regardless of the interests men have.… Read more »
@Different T
Good god! Smells like cats, dildos, and lonely in here…Wonder how many rpm’s your hamster got up to thinking of all that?
You seem really self-assured, but I can tell there are times when you struggle with doubt. So…Go grab some Xanax and a bottle of wine…you’ll be fine in the morning.
ps…feel free to log off the internet at any time.
Good to read a perspective from beyond the border of 45. Its important for men to think about what lies ahead and realize the best made plans don’t always turn out as expected.
“The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men / Gang aft agley”- Robert Burns in “To A Mouse” (whose little mouse house was destroyed by a farmer’s plow)
My, my. How the manosphere has changed. Five years ago I remember being called a pessimist and a misogynist by “manosperians”, and not just those of the “game is god” variety.
Roosh used to diss just about anything that wasn’t game related. Now every other post or comment is about how shitty america and especially american women have become.
Nice to see people acknowledging the problems at their source.
@A Different T We live in a society ruled by nihilism. Nihilism is the law of nature. Nature is amoral and so is a culture that has abandoned religion. Religion whether it be God, Buddha, or Allah provides a divine moral code that is supreme. It is to be followed despite it not being entirely beneficial to the individual. When the West switched from Judeo-Christianity to functional atheistism, it became nihilistic by default. When the people argue against Game, they aren’t really upset by the amorality of it, they are upset that nature has found the counter to their power… Read more »
Minter, how in the hell are you wasting all these amazing posts in a comment section?
Also, I thought alimony was tax deductible? Not child support obviously.
Good Luck Chuck,
Some of us don’t have a problem getting sex when we want. We come to the manosphere for intellectual stimulation. It’s the evolution of a movement. Along the same lines as “The Most Interesting Man In the World” comparison. I believe Rollo made the comparison in his post about Roosh’s change in direction. Once a man grows “past” his desire for sex he can do whatever he wants without distraction.
Then of course, there are those that come for the intellectual stimulation because they have no hope of sex…
Holy shit, reading that Minter post is like listening to a long Steven Wright routine without any laughs. That’s one bitter motherfucker!
Furious Ferret, Inhibit the optimization of hypergamy by removing the optimal options. I like it. But the feminine imperative is essentially trying to do the same thing to men, namely setting the price as high as possible for attractive women. Making the best men harder to reach is going to do nothing to make people happier. I agree that our society is nihilistic, but in admitting that you also admit that it ought NOT be that way. Game ought to be used to make men AND women happy (this notion is reminiscent of Roissy), but it is only of instrumental… Read more »
“What we need is an agreeable framework separate from religion and feminist critical theory that can articulate the normative standards of inter-gender relations. That is the only way out of this culture war.”
Not possible. No supernatural divine law leads the ultimate logical conclusion of nihilism i.e the law of nature. Without answering to a higher authority than simply nature, all paths lead to will to power.
@ Narrator Is someone who is feral (or outside of domestication) necessarily a nihilist? Seems so. Huh? Nihilism as the belief in “nothingness” as the ideal? That sounds like the opposite of a “wild state.” It sounds uniquely like something only a socialized human could even be capable of. Additionally, it seems you still do not understand the “they are not feral” statement. “But that doesn’t change the fact that both are motivated exclusively by self-interest and uninhibited by the moral boundaries of others.” So you consider buddhists to be “motivated exclusively by self-interest and uninhibited by the moral boundaries… Read more »
I posted something similar earlier, but I’ll say it again. The laws of nature and morality are not inherently in conflict. Cooperation is generally both morally and evolutionarily beneficial. The reason there is inter-gender conflict is because the sexual marketplace necessitates competition (between buyer/buyer buyer/seller and seller/seller). Like any marketplace there are failures. One of those failures is that men do not have enough information about the terms of the social transactions they are making because the feminine imperative seeks to hide the nature of it. The ideal of a “free” sexual market is elusive for men. They do not… Read more »
The game is nihilism in it’s very essence. Make no mistake that when men pump and dump these chicks, a piece of their soul dies and a bitter husk begins to form. But they choose to play. They wanted to enter the in the ‘Game of Alphas’ and that’s the price. You transform from a vibrant woman into some eccentric fembeast. Intense pleasure comes with a big price tag. Nihilism is the law of nature. Lions don’t care about the gazelle and they certainly don’t give a fuck about killing other lions or hyenas. The powerful rule for a while… Read more »
It has nothing to do with what nihilism are being feral ARE. It has to do with the associated motivations and inhibitions of both. I think you’ve taken “feral” too literally here.
We are animals, but we are not wild. We are domesticated. We are not feral. But we can be nihilists. The point is that even if we do not accept a higher power, as rational creatures we can acknowledge and respect individual well-being in a way that creatures with lower faculties cannot. You OUGHT NOT be a nihilist because it would mean disowning your rational powers. The “will to power” originates in the brain stem. Ethics and morality come from the frontal lobe, whether it is the study of a religion or some other doctrine.
Rollo, I noticed you write for the high school forum on SoSuave. A big thank you from me. No, I’m far removed from high school, but remember those days as an AFC/Beta deluxe, a personality I carried for much of my life. Perhaps I’m somewhat of one today, but much better thanks to places like this blog. A lot of AFC/Betaness happens in a vacume. One is fed the female imperative/societal norms, and you eat it up. Why? That’s all you know, or all you’re taught. The myth-busting that goes on here is tremendous. But major props for helping the… Read more »
Feral creatures don’t have the cognitive faculties to acknowledge other individuals’ well-being. Nihilists do but disregard them. It is conceivable that a human could be “feral” but their condition would be pathological (probably anti-social personality disorder). While I’m sure Heartiste would say that a “feral” man would do well, his success would be short-lived unless he found a really damaged woman to stick around. They’re out there, but do you honestly want to tailor your game to find them? Most men AND women would be happier if men adopted a form of game that disavowed the feminine imperative while at… Read more »
Why do we have to give a fuck? Why? Did you ever think that a little bit of nihilism is what we need? Our whole lives we live for someone else. We never stop to think ‘Hey maybe their not right, and I’m a tool that’s being used’. Just let go and embrace it. It’s not forever. It’s a tool to get there. All this bullshit about mutual beneficial. Fuck that. It’s garbage idealistic unrealistic thinking. I say you got two choices, you go with God or you go with the world. You go with the world, buck up and… Read more »
“We are a generation of men raised by women. I wonder if another woman is really what we need.” I appreciate where you are coming from, but in a sense you are admitting defeat. Religion was the counterbalance to the FI that allowed for mutually beneficial inter-gender relationships. It’s gone. It’s not coming back. But seeking social upheaval won’t fix the problem, which is a sexual market wrought with fraud. You don’t fix fraud with more fraud. You need another counterbalance. That would be game. Game, in essence is shirking the FI. It is only of instrumental value, but as… Read more »
Bitter is too harsh a word for how I feel. In 2003,2005, I was really bitter at the divorce. In 2010 I was really pissed at women after 7 years of divorce and dealing with women. Not now. I have regrets. The writings from the Manosphere really in the past couple of years polished the edge off it. But over all I’m sort of content on a day to day basis. Kind of a Buddhist sort of contentment. My biggest problem of the day was that I didn’t have enough eggs for a recipe. I had to go back out… Read more »
@FuriousFerret Nihilism is anti-nature. Anti-human-nature. Human nature is what has been nurtured throughout our evolutionary history, it’s not fixed but constantly, ‘slowly’ evolving over time. Hypergamy is part of human female nature, as is motherly love which a woman usually has for her own children. It’s the ‘good’ things AND the ‘bad’ things. Same goes for men. Man has sympathies for his friends, his family, those who he shares his essence, his idea(l)s with. He has less sympathy for others. That’s what proved successful. Human nature, their heritage, their genetics don’t change as quickly as modern life suggests. There is… Read more »
Re: Nihilism. From The Bitter Taste of the Red Pill: The Bitter Taste of the Red Pill The truth will set you free, but it doesn’t make truth hurt any less, nor does it make truth any prettier, and it certainly doesn’t absolve you of the responsibilities that truth requires. One of the biggest obstacles guys face in unplugging is accepting the hard truths that Game forces upon them. Among these is bearing the burden of realizing what you’ve been conditioned to believe for so long were comfortable ideals and loving expectations are really liabilities. Call them lies if you… Read more »
Feminine qualities are very much in demand – to keep everybody happy, we need to tolerate one another, be patient, being complacent.
Empirically false. Consider the trends regarding anti-depressant usage, alcohol usage, obesity rates, therapy rates, etc.
For example, when I wrote War Brides, it was in response to men’s common complaint of how deftly and relatively unemotionally women could transition into a new relationship after they’d been dumped by a GF or wife.
And when the man does the dumping? Is this really an unbiased view of the “dynamic?”
@Minter
Incredibly honest post, free of rationalizations.
Thank you.
@Different T The reason why alcohol usage, depressions, therapy and so on are that much on the rise is very much rooted in the dogma of femininity and in general, nihilism in modern societies. Feminine qualities ARE very much in demand, they are being rewarded in our society. What’s a depression? – it’s aggressiveness turned inwards. Not willing nor capable to express it outwards makes an individual self-destructive over time. Alcohol calms people down – it represses the fight or flight mechanism. Again aggressive behaviour is not allowed to be expressed. Neither is it possible to remove oneself from a… Read more »
@Narrator “Game, in essence is shirking the FI. It is only of instrumental value, but as a counterbalance it needs a normative standard. Mutual well-being provides that standard.” In essence, it sounds like you are establishing that men should play by “rules” in a world where women do not. I don’t speak that in an effort of “fairness”, but as long as one side holds all of the power cards (supported by .gov), then why would a man not play by the method in which the winner takes all? Let me put it another way. When the rules of the… Read more »
@Narrator: “…the well-being of both parties through a mutually beneficial relationship. This is idealistic, but not to an unreasonable degree.
There are some damaged people out there…And I try hard not to create them.”
Good for you. Look out for your soul. Better to be hurt than the one doing the hurting.
@Mark: “I don’t really do a lot these days but it seems to take all my time.” I love this line! You are living!
@Mark: “I don’t really do a lot these days but it seems to take all my time.” I love this line! You are living!
LOL.
@Andrews
Feminine qualities ARE very much in demand, they are being rewarded in our society.
Acknowledged. Consider they are subsidized because they are NOT in demand (as game testifies).
Then consider how that statement interacts on a societal level with:
Women or better feminine personalities have a much easier time, psychologically, to accept domination by others.
Andrews: “Alcohol calms people down – it represses the fight or flight mechanism. Again aggressive behaviour is not allowed to be expressed. “
You’ve never been to Glasgow, have you?
@Tam the Bam Hahaha – no I have not. I get what you are saying though. I was referring to the stress induced alcoholic. @ Different T I’m not saying I like it that feminine qualities are rewarded while masculine qualities are often dismissed. It’s my observation about what is happening in the workplace and the social sphere, as in daily life – especially when nobody corrects them*. Granted. Most women are feminine in nature, buried under a lot of modern ideas about what a woman is supposed to be. Yes, they fall for game, especially if it’s not being… Read more »
I’m not saying I like it that feminine qualities are rewarded while masculine qualities are often dismissed. It’s my observation about what is happening in the workplace and the social sphere, as in daily life – especially when nobody corrects them*.
There is no disagreement on this. You stated feminine qualities are in demand.
“Consider they are subsidized because they are NOT in demand (as game testifies)”
I’m not sure which perspective you use in this.
You are saying it’s masculine qualities which created this world of abundance and in the long run it is sustained by those qualities?
Kate, I look out for me first. I’ve hurt people. But that doesn’t mean it is my objective. Danger, I am saying play by your own rules. I am also saying that game is compatible with value systems other than nihilism. Make your own value system. Be accountable to yourself. It feels good. It also helps you hold other people accountable, namely the women you are dating. It is no secret here that women like it when men call their shit what it is. It is (at heart) a sincere and honest gesture that exudes confidence. Sure, it’ll make them… Read more »
What’s the LOL for, Different T? There are people fixated on “doing something,” and there are people content to “live.” When you realize “there is nowhere to go and nothing to do,” you exist differently. Om Namah Shivaya 🙂
Confidence is derived from options. When you know you can repeat your past successes, or you have the resources to repeat concurrent successes already available to you, you have confidence. This is the code women are asking for when they claim to want confidence: “I want a man who has the presence of a man that other men want to be and other women want to fuck.” While I agree with this statement to a degree, I think another way of saying it is that confidence is derived from **competence**. Knowing you can do something because you’ve done it before… Read more »
@ Andrews This is an object lesson and is not meant maliciously or as specifically regarding you. I’m not sure which perspective you use in this. Feminine qualities ARE very much in demand, they are being rewarded in our society. This was acknowledged. You interpret the situation as “because feminine qualities are in demand, they are rewarded.” The response was: “Consider they are subsidized because they are NOT in demand (as game testifies)” Instead of addressing this, you respond: You are saying it’s masculine qualities which created this world of abundance and in the long run it is sustained by… Read more »
@Different T “Consider they are subsidized because they are NOT in demand (as game testifies)” I don’t understand the meaning of that sentence, I can speculate though. That’s why I asked you if you meant: “You are saying it’s masculine qualities which created this world of abundance and in the long run it is sustained by those qualities?” The (“as game testifies”) line confuses me because when I wrote my sentence “Feminine qualities ARE very much in demand, they are being rewarded in our society.” , I was not thinking about what women find attractive in a man. It was… Read more »
It would help if you gave some examples of feminine qualities. You hinted with:
we need to tolerate one another, be patient, being complacent.
but a more explicit list would be more useful.
Andrews,
Your last point is why I think it is important to set your own moral standard. They are your rules and you follow them because they are your own. But It’s not “it’s right because I say it’s right,” or “it’s right because it’s alpha,” and certainly not “it’s right because women want it.” It has to be right by an objective standard – individual well-being for me (but you might have different standards.)
“A man strives to get direct mastery over things either by understanding them or by compulsion. But a woman is always and everywhere driven to indirect mastery, namely through a man; all her direct mastery being limited to him alone. Therefore it lies in woman’s nature to look upon everything only as a means for winning man, and her interest in anything else is always a simulated one, a mere roundabout way to gain her ends, consisting of coquetry and pretense.” On Women – Arthur Schopenhauer (1851) Men have plans. The older one gets, the more obvious and self-evident Schopenhauer… Read more »
“When you know you can repeat your past successes, or you have the resources to repeat concurrent successes already available to you, you have confidence. This is the code women are asking for when they claim to want confidence: “I want a man who has the presence of a man that other men want to be and other women want to fuck.”
-I remember an episode of a commedy serries I watched where it tells the childhood of Chris Rock. The episode where he concluded that:
THE ONLY WAY TO GET GIRLS, IS TO GET A GIRL
this whole thread has devolved into “beta try hard” intellectual masturbation about what….morality and ethics? Morality and ethics are social constructs that limit over consumption by a species (human) that has learned effective tool usage. Everything else is so fucking boring. blah blah blah
Protip-biomechanics is god.
boom
oh and btw, Different T is clearly a girl with hyper-developed yet quite shallow rational thought and logic training, lest anyone think otherwise. Or a gay guy maybe? but usually they only argue about gay stuff
Do you think morality came from something other than biomechanics? Again, biology and morality are not in conflict. Cooperation is evolutionarily beneficial in many species as well as morally praiseworthy in human society. The inter-gender biomechanical conflicts we are witnessing are the result of competition in a sexual marketplace. It wouldn’t be a problem, except that market forces are tilted heavily in favor of women. You can’t articulate a solution to a market failure using just biomechanics. Market failure: Men don’t have perfect information because the FI seeks to hide their own masculine imperative from them. Your attitude that this… Read more »
@ Different T Sure, honey. You see, I sometimes overindulge people. That’s a quick way to reveal more about them. I have seen enough. @ The Narrator Hm, the alpha is an ideal. Nobody can ever be pure alpha – just moving towards it. For me those game ‘rules’ are more a form of advice. Somehow you have to deliver your philosophy. To see those rules as absolute and follow them blindly would be feminine. To dismiss them without reasoning would be feminine as well. You take those ‘rules’, you apply them in your world, you adapt them, you remember… Read more »
I have a question for the advanced members of the manosphere (MS), a genuine question that’s been simmering in my thoughts for several years, now. For new initiates, you might be well served to skip this comment altogether; in fact, insofar as you may be predisposed to comment on it, I would prefer that you instead simply skip it. This is an unresolved question for me, at present, though I become increasingly resolved in its answer, by the day. If females are of a childlike mind—ruled by their emotions, rather than logic—as we proclaim them to be, then what are… Read more »
Putting angel’s or devil’s wings on observations hinders real understanding. I say that not because I don’t think morality is important in the human experience, but because our interpretations of morality and justice are substantially influenced by the animalistic sides of our natures, and often more than we’re willing to admit to ourselves. Disassociating one’s self from an emotional reaction is difficult enough, but adding layers of moralism to an issue only convolutes a better grasp of breaking it down into its constituent parts. That said, I also understand that emotion and, by degree, a sense of moralism is also… Read more »
avd: It makes perfect sense to me. A separate peace.
Maybe because it’s Friday or something, but I am unable to find your e-mail address on this site Rollo. Can you post what it is or place a link to where it is please?
put your email in a comment on the About page and I’ll reply to it
@Rollo: “Putting angel’s or devil’s wings on observations hinders real understanding.” I couldn’t tell if this was in response to my post or not. If it was, you utterly failed to comprehend my post. I EXPLICITLY excluded morality from the discussion. As a matter of fact, I have NEVER made a post anywhere in the MS having anything to do with morality. The above post was explicitly grounded in the matter of effectiveness regarding the long term goals of the MS. I repeat, I have never posted a position in the MS that was based on morality (subjective). My posts… Read more »
avd wrote: In the present incarnation of the MS, the MO seems to be to pump and dump, in order to teach females a lesson. No problem for me, except, is it working? This is not a problem for me from a moral standpoint. Rather, is it working? The pump-and-dump reintroduces women to the state of nature. A woman’s life is rape once the gentleman is outlawed/discouraged from developing. Pumping and dumping prepares the collective female id for the next stage. It is a plowing under of the weeds in an unmaintained plot so that next year’s crop might be… Read more »
“John Lennon was the world’s biggest beta? He shagged his way around the world in the Beatles hayday, was a famous rockstar, spent a good proportion of his life off his head on top quality drugs, was recognised worldwide for his immense talent and made a fortune. I can think of bigger betas. Good article otherwise but I’m not having that. Yoko was a bad move, but if you’d ingested as much acid your judgement might have been a little off at times too.” He didn’t say ‘biggest’ he said ‘most famous’. Pay attention. And he WAS beta. Guys like… Read more »
I don’t think I’ve ever read a Matt King post where he hasn’t insulted another commenter.
If “responding to arguments one can handle instead of the ones presented” is the sign of an “intellectual dilettante” who is “over his head,” what does the constant resort to an ad hominem argument signify?
Insecurity?
Arrogance?
You’re no leader either, Matt. You divide well-meaning people instead of uniting them. I’ll march under Rollo’s banner any day.
At no point did I say I could or wanted to lead anything. You don’t like my posts, pedestrian, don’t read them. You mewl about the fact that I don’t suffer fools gladly, and here your example only confirms the wisdom of my policy. You men-o-spheres are a sensitive lot. One untoward word and you clutch your purses to your bosom. It’s no secret why your attempts to organize are like a hundred retards trying to assemble a hundred-piece puzzle. Wait. I meant, brilliant riposte, Stillcho. Packed full of incisive commentary and not a trace of bitterness. Everything everyone writes… Read more »
@ Matt King:
I love it when Jesuits try to think.
I also note with interest that you didn’t address my point about your constant ad hominem attacks on the folks who post here, and elsewhere.
That reminds me of something I read earlier today:
“When an intellectual dilettante is in over his head, he starts responding to the arguments he can handle rather than the ones presented. ”
Thanks for proving my point, twerp.
Now scurry off and intellectually masturbate elsewhere.
@Mathew King: “It’s talk, talk, talk about what we should do, rather than an Alexander hacking through Gordian Knots and showing men how it’s done… [ ] rather than posing questions and expecting response, act upon your wisdom, show the results of that action, wait for curiosity, and only then present your logic…” This is my paradox: I want to help these guys, but, as evidenced by their posts, they’re simply NOT worthy. Their whole deal seems to be “to get back at women.” I love women. I would never intentionally damage them. They sometimes damage themselves, but that’s THEIR… Read more »
I couldn’t tell if this was in response to my post or not. If it was, you utterly failed to comprehend my post. It was not. I apologize for your confusion, but predictably it drew out Dr. Smith to the discussion. In the present incarnation of the MS, the MO seems to be to pump and dump, in order to teach females a lesson. While I understand this impression, I don’t think it’s an endemic characteristic of the manosphere. Aunt Giggles would make the argument that anything revelatory about Game that the manosphere has to offer is automatically bitter, misogynistic… Read more »
avd speculated: Their whole deal seems to be “to get back at women.” It’s not their whole deal, but it remains a temptation, which they use to rationalize their inadequacies. They aren’t ruining/can’t ruin women; the women are already ruined. Releasing feral nature scours the ruins and gives us an opportunity to rebuild “the value of [our] world.” In the meantime erect high walls and take care none of it touches your estate. You make an important point, though. The men who won’t/can’t discipline themselves unite themselves with the enemy’s project. The key is to give them an inspiring alternative… Read more »
“Maybe your deference comes from respect for a host or common courtesy, but I don’t suffer self-regarding fools quite so gladly.” Well, Rollo, there it is: you have been judged, and found to be a “self-regarding fool.” But before you take it too much to heart, consider the source. The sense of biblical self-righteousness just seeps out of this mad Jesuit’s post, right down to the choice of words: “temptation”….”convert…”. And let’s leave it to two indisputably self-regarding fools — avd and King A — to convert the next generation of men. And women. But don’t expect it to happen… Read more »
@Rollo: First, allow me to state that the question I posted on your blog was not directed at you, but offered for the community at large. Please consider the remainder of this comment to be along the same lines. “I addressed your observations well over a year ago.” So you did, thanks for the link. “…very rarely is it used as a weapon.” I hope you’re right about that. I’ve seen a shift in the MS comments over the past year that seems to indicate otherwise. It seems to me that the younger generation that was raised by hardcore internet… Read more »
“Meanwhile, the rest of your commentariat will pump and dump, as they deem fit. And more power to them.”
Rest my case.
avd, You are wise to disassociate yourself from my remarks for comity’s sake with this crowd. But know that you are talking to a wall and that your energies are needed/better spent elsewhere. In any event I appreciate your speaking up to the few of us who are listening. You are onto something very big, and even if we don’t come to the best conclusions together, your observant eye will be very useful in the coming years. Keep working the problem. Above all, persist. I’ve been looking for some kernels of wheat in this winnowing house of chaff, and you… Read more »
@ King A:
Just read the blog linked via your “henpecked” quote above.
Kudos to the Alpha Game site for banning you. From all appearances, you deserved it.
Rollo: I’m curious….why haven’t you also decided to ban Matt? This site, and others, would unquestionably benefit from his absence.
Just a thought.