Size Matters

I generally don’t go where I’m going with this post today, but one consistent theme of my writing has always been about exposing the latent functions of social conventions. Although I do try to be fair and spread out the analysis between men and women’s specific social conventions, living in the age of feminization usually brings the focus back to the feminine imperative where it originates.

To look under the hood of a social convention – to see how and why it works – often involves asking some uncomfortable questions. Social discomfort is actually an integral part of any effective social convention. Discouraging questions about the latent purpose of a social convention by means of fostering impropriety about it, or putting the questioner in the place of social awkwardness, is how social conventions perpetuate and normalize into a culture.

So when you pose the question “why is it considered rude to ask a woman about her age or her weight?” the ‘common sense’ answer is that it just is, because not knowing so makes the questioner look like look like a fool for not knowing it just is.The real answer of course is rooted in competition anxiety, because a majority of women can’t afford to have their sexual market value qualitatively compared in such overt measures. However, this is how a social convention becomes normalized and promoted to the realm of ‘common sense’.

So, if you will, please indulge me while I look under another hood that may not be the most comfortable place to go.

Mark Minter, a regular RM contributor dropped an excellent introduction for today’s topic in last week’s Amused Mastery post:

My niece has a cute friend, a 20 year old HB7 who thinks that she is an 8 and is grooming herself to be a “trophy wife”. I think she is gonna be disappointed. But she is very status and money motivated in her choice of men. But anyway, the last I had heard from this girl was that she had met this “Ideal boy” who had a winning smile (I had met the guy) and his family owned a restaurant.

A couple of months later, my niece mentions that some other guy was trying to hit on this girl last night. I asked “So what happened to whats-his-face”.

She answered, “He turned out to be a creep. He was very possessive and controlling. Constantly texting her at work, knowing she couldn’t get texts at work.”

SOOOO. The Rollo Tomassi voice in the back of my head says “BULLSHIT. There is more to this than that”.

I asked, “What was she doing to make this guy insecure and also when women have GENUINE DESIRE for a man, his texts don’t bother her, even if she is at work. It’s text and no one knows except for her. So why was she backing away. She was COVERTLY COMMUNICATING her disinterest through her actions.”

There were a couple of other “things” the guy had done with once again, things that if the woman had GENUINE DESIRE, they would not have been “firing offenses”. But I sensed she was looking for a reason to pull away from the guy. So I kept pressing. I had thought maybe he had failed some shit tests or something, had kissed ass a little too much on a 20 year old cute girl. It was far more basic than this and certainly warranted this girl creating a cover story for dumping the guy

So it turns out the guy has about a 3 or 4 inch dick but little Miss Trophy Wife couldn’t broadcast to the world that she would actually dump a guy because he had a little dick. She couldn’t admit that the size of a dick was important to her like it was to “those other sluts”. No, he had to be controlling or possessive or something from femcentrically acceptable than having a little dick.

So the rationalization hamster cooked up this other less slutty behavior from the guy to justify dumping him.

The funny thing is that even though all the girls in the circle knew the dude has the tiny dick, the publicly repeated excuse from all the hens in the coop was “controlling creep”.


I can remember reading a section of the book A Billion Wicked Thoughts where the authors cited studies about the relative importance the size of a man’s penis had for women. The long and short of it (uh,.heh) was that the women surveyed reported a “general satisfaction with the size of their partners penises”, and then went on to make the case that it is in fact men who are more concerned with the size of their cocks than women are.

Something just didn’t sit right with me after I’d read through this. From a porn-search specific statistical analysis it would follow that since men are the primary consumers of pornography that men would have more interest in the various details of the sex act, thus a preoccupation with the size of their own tool, but this doesn’t exclude the ‘interest’ women have in penis size. I could go into the Red Queen / Selfish Gene details about how women would evolutionarily prefer a larger cock to a smaller one (virility, sexual prowess, sexy son theory, etc.), but that wouldn’t cover the social convention aspect of women’s handling of this issue (sorry, you can’t write about this topic without a bad pun every other line).

I can remember a discussion in a mixed gender group of friends I had when I was in my early 20’s. Whenever the topic of sex came up (which was often) there was always a careful, almost tacit acknowledgement among the women to hold back a bit when it came to revealing their wants when it came to the particulars about sex. I’m using this as an illustration because it’s been my experience that  the woman you talk to about sex in the company of men and women is not the same woman who talks about sex amongst only women. When questions about the size of a guy’s cock came up (sorry), the timeless classic trope is almost always sure to follow “oh it’s not that important, size doesn’t matter, it’s not size of the ship, it’s the motion of the ocean” or “it’s not the length of the wand, it’s the skill of the magician” or some other cutesy aphorism with the latent purpose of moving beyond that particular detail in the conversation. Even sufficiently feminized men will parrot this same fem-speak unprompted to reassure themselves (does AskMen even employ male writers anymore?).

Discreet Requisites

You see, publicly, as Mark’s story illustrates, it is counter productive for a woman’s long term provisional interests to be compromised by qualifying a potential provider (see Beta chump) by his sexual prowess. Based on sight and imagination (pre-sex conditions) there’s no more graphic an indicator of this prowess than a guy’s length. Certainly height, muscularity and all of the feral, instinctual level physical cues play a part of the total package, but women know that not only do they measure a man’s virility in this regard, but they also know men do as well.

I had wanted to illustrate this dynamic further by making the presumption that women, generally, would either be offended by the very topic, or at the very least be coy about their denying that ‘size matters’, but I can’t go there. As the sex-positive aggressiveness of feminization has taken hold of western culture for the past 60+ years, there has been a gradual decay of this sense of prudence, replaced by the new utility of using men’s insecurities about size as leverage in optimizing feminine hypergamy.

Just in recent memory I’ve had ‘pour girls’ mention to me privately and to other girls that they wanted to leave a boyfriend, or they wouldn’t consider a second sexual encounter with a guy who ‘wasn’t packing’. Furthermore, as women have less and less to lose in their post-Wall SMP reality, mature women (the Cougar generation) place more emphasis on their partner’s equipment. It has coincided with the socio-economic End of Men and the Rise of Women that feminine hypergamy become less and less secretive. Gone are the days when women needed to use subterfuge to keep a less than adequate man enthralled in order to secure his provisioning. So it follows that the truth about the details of that visceral hypergamy be relaxed to the point that women no longer feel the need to cover it up. There may be a token effort in a public context to misdirect the importance of size (Mark’s example), but privately, women know size is important.

Consider the ‘thesis’ power point presentation of Karen Owen’s retrospective sexual safari at Duke University. We can debate the relative criteria upon which she rates each sexual encounter in her thesis, but I would draw your attention to the importance she places upon the penis size of each of her ‘study subjects’ as an indicator of quality (or lack thereof). As most Game-aware men (and women) ought to know already, the Medium is the Message and it’s women’s behavior, not their words that should be used as the only reliable basis for determining inent or motivation. According to the research of the authors of A Billion Wicked Thoughts and the respondents in their cited studies, penis size should be irrelevant to women, if it’s considered at all. Yet here we have a woman quantifying and qualifying sexual merit using length as a factor in sexual satisfaction.

You could make the argument that this is an isolated case, and only sluts worry about your girth, or you might think ‘women say one thing and mean another, well duh Rollo’, but you have to understand the utility, and the latent purpose behind those presumptions. Whenever a guy is slapped with the default ‘bitter misogynist’ label, the follow up line is almost universally “yeah, and I bet he’s got a little dick too.” Even guys will use the “he’s compensating for something” line as a sexual disqualifier when presented with an overt demonstration of higher sexual value from another guy. He’s got a $75K car? Must have a little dick then. If penis size wasn’t a consideration for women in their optimal hypergamy it wouldn’t be the go-to, schoolyard taunt it’s become. Ridicule a man’s penis and you disqualify him as sexual competitor. It’s interesting that men will acknowledged height as a physical prerequisite for most women, but will readily reject the size of his tool as being one as well.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

115 comments on “Size Matters

  1. It’s always mattered and always will. We’re fortunate enough to live in a time when women are allowed to be more open and forthcoming with their thoughts, as it just confirms the gut feeling. Another fortunate thing is that you can increase the length of your penis, permanently, through years of deliberate exercises. There are books, videos, sites, and forums dedicated specifically to this. Just like building muscles, it takes time and there are no real shortcuts (at least not without repercussions), but the payoff is well worth the effort.

  2. You know why it matters, because most women have been on the carousel. If there is little to nothing to compare to, then it really doesn’t matter. The fact of life is that in this day and age, it matters. You either have to have the tool or have something about you that compensates for lack of fullness during sex sufficiently to keep her interested.

  3. I see this as a manifestation of female hypergamy. I doubt that this guy’s size was the only factor in the breakup though. From the sound of it this 20-year old is even more focused on status and money than her peers. Assuming she has the feminized mindset she probably believes she has a good 10-15 years to find the absolute best “trophy husband” to cater to her whims. If the size issue was the only problem, it just shows the extremes that feminization has gone to, convincing women that they really can “have it all” and that any deficiency merits “Nexting” a guy. This isn’t to discount the size problem, I assume there’s probably a good evolutionary explanation for this like you referenced. If that weren’t the issue though it could be any other number of things that an average guy didn’t have to worry about a couple generations ago. Whatever a guys deficiencies, tangible or socially contrived, developing a strong alpha frame is a necessity. Things like voice tone, staying in good shape, good posture and body language, and killing Beta behaviors and Oneitis tendencies are all within our power to control.

  4. @Nick, yes any deficiency in the woman’s eyes gets a guy nexted. They believe they will find the perfect guy if they are patient and ride long enough. They will be sorely disappointed when they find out the guy they wanted is long gone, and the ones left leave a sour taste in her mouth. She will either be single forever, and may or may not get off the carousel, or she will settle in to one of the chumps who still pay attention and make his life miserable, because the guy with the small cock could have provided for her so much better.

  5. Solo said, “It’s good to be black….Just saying.”

    Yeah, when flaccid, but when turgid (which is what really matters), white is king!

  6. Yeah this one of those things where it’s like sorry bro, yeah women lika da big cocka.

    Knew a dude in college who had a god damn horse-cock and good enough game to get bangs. He never “lost” a girl. Maybe he’d stop seeing a girl, or she would back off since he wasn’t going to date her, but he could *always* go back to the well with these chicks six, seven months later because they craved his business.

    I know at least two times he got laid based on word of mouth alone.

  7. Not sure whether this is due more to social proof as opposed to the desire to truly experience pleasure, but one thing I have noticed that can get you “referral business” is being good in the sack. These days chicks share every juicy detail with their friends, and if you know how to hit the g-spot on a fuck buddy she will tell her friends and they will want to fuck you and won’t be shy about letting you know.

  8. Not to spam your blog Rollo but since we talking about size….

    Every woman’s preception is different, women truly can’t guage it accurately unless they have been around. For instance, if a girl has had 3-5 inchers with all her sexual partners (4-5 inches is average). Then a guy who is 7 inches and has solid girth is gonna feel like a greek God to her.

    The truth is you don’t have to have a 12 inch bunker buster. Also for most women it’s mostly girth as well.

    So I rather have a thick fat cock any day then a long skinny 12 incher

    and yes Good Sex does keep a woman around…

  9. You know why it matters, because most women have been on the carousel. If there is little to nothing to compare to, then it really doesn’t matter. The fact of life is that in this day and age, it matters.

    Interesting premise. The study that both A Billion Wicked Thoughts and the inane AskMen article both site is fairly extensive in that it stretches back a long time (1942?). Considering the period (decades) it accounts for, the data would be far too dispersed an average to be accurate for the volatility and revelations of the SMP of today. The sexual environment of the 80’s & 90’s isn’t even a close approximation to the era after the rise of internet porn and easy, ubiquitous access to it.

  10. One thing that should be noted, however, is that sexual prowess has much less bearing on keeping a sexual relationship alive (FB, LTR, STR…whatever) than folks would have you believe.

    This is testament to the theory that sex is much less important to women than it is to men.

  11. @Solo, I hear you, but also consider that women’s media ‘exposure’ to men’s equipment has grown exponentially in the last 15-20 years. They may not be meeting them in person, but there’s enough availability in porn and the more widespread (hypergamous) encouragement for women to do so to make much better comparisons.

    When society was less connected and insular around smaller communities I’m sure the relative comparisons would’ve been limited, but even in that instance the guy with a 6 inch tool is still going to be more popular in town where the average is 4 inches.

  12. Every time I read dick doesn’t matter it just reminds me only ugly girls are on the internet. Young attractive girls or cool athletic people aren’t shy about this stuff or pretend it doesn’t matter, I think it’s more a timid thing like how some people would never say black jokes but for other people it’s de rigueur.

    I couldn’t imagine a 3 or 4 inch dick, when girls say size doesn’t matter they mean anything above 6.5+

    girls always know who the biggest they’ve had is- a buddy is hung, he met a stripper he had a threesome with 5 years ago who said he was still the biggest she had- she went home with him for another go despite having a boyfriend. I was at this girl’s house when her mom came home drunk, I asked her who was the biggest/best she’s had and she immediately said the girl’s dad. LOL. Every girl knows.

    an ex told me a conversation she had with her roomie:
    roommate: (talking about guys they’ve been with) so what about Shocker?
    ex: like 7, 7 and a half
    roommate: ……….. no wonder he’s so confident.
    Come on, everything you’ve learned about girls and social validation my ex loved me for that shit

    D size is a game routine, one of my routines is the what do you call your thingie game, when girls ask me:
    Me: Both.
    Girls: Both?
    Me: Yeah- it’s two inches so I tell girls to take Both.

    I love filling girls up, they love it too. I dragged this tiny girl into a sex shop, pulled a few things off the shelf and told her to pick one. To my surprise, she picked this one: Best sex I’ve ever had- total destruction. I’m surprised that toy isn’t more popular with the tiny dick crowd- only reason I don’t use it more is that I cum instantly with it. hah.

    txted some girl while writing this: ‘whats your nickname for your pussy.’ response: ‘shocker’s afternoon snack.’ lol

  13. Women care about penis size the same way we care about hotness on the 1 to 10 scale. Everyone has a satisfactory minimum, but we’re all still going for the high score when it’s there.

  14. Heheh,..I can hardly wait till my female regulars chime in.

    I’m afraid to even go near this post. . . .

    But, here goes. It’s a status symbol. It’s a sign of a man’s masculinity and women assume that the bigger it is the more masculine/alpha he is. It prompts more confidence in himself and also increases his preselection as a bigger unit will attract more women.

    As to using penis size against men, well yeah. It’s an easy dig. It’s a quick way to disqualify any man in comparison to the woman saying it, any girl around the woman saying it and any man that woman is or has slept with. And since the chances are pretty slim that the man is question is going to whip it out to compare, she is going to win the argument by benefit of the doubt. Being a woman will increase her benefit of doubt as well in and of itself.

    I do NOT understand the need to use it over the internet. It’s stupid thing to say any time, but over the internet is absurd.

  15. I think there’s a cap on size, though. I used to work with escorts in my earlier days and regularly had to turn away black men and men that were too endowed because the girls would refuse to fuck them. Also, I read around on the porn industry a lot and one of the most frequent complaints is that the guys are too big. So yeah, it sucks if you’re tiny, but if you’re huge it can also be a problem. I’d say if you’re around 5-7 inches then don’t worry about it.

  16. Two comments:
    1. How much would it suck to be an undersized black dude
    2. Besides size, lack of stamina is also a disqualifyer. A common slight for competing men to suggest another guy is probably a two pump chump.

  17. I was once at a bar with my buddies, and we played a game to see who could get slapped by a girl first. so, for every girl that walked by, we took turns asking the same question: “you look like you’d know the answer to this. hockey stick dick, or hockey puck dick?”

    Majority of the answers were hockey puck dick. apparently da wymnz loves da fatty cockas than the longaz cockas.

    no one got slapped. and one girl told me there was only one way for her to find out…

  18. I definitely follow your reasoning Rollo, and came to a similar conclusion independently. If size doesn’t matter, then would it be a “thing” at all? You never hear about the size of a man’s balls or the length of a man’s nose. And women are natural nurturers (maternal instinct), and so they are more predisposed to go into consolation mode, and even bullshit themselves, to save a guy from hurt feelings.

    But if you want the dignity and respect of a man, and not of an infant, you’ll prefer the truth hard and rough, the way *she* prefers *you*: Size matters. If you’re average, you’re small. If you’re of average height, you’re short. If you make a decent income, you’re poor. Welcome to female hypergamy.

    And I speak as a “small” guy myself. You’ll never be alpha if you’re less than average, unless you’re a cult leader somewhere.

  19. It definitely matters to them and always has. But women in general and even feminists can be taken to task still in certain contexts. Naomi Wolf, for example, has just put out her “Vagina” book and it includes a section on the necessity of vaginal orgasm for a woman’s vagina to truly be happy. A man’s ability to give a vaginal orgasm is partly 2d wave feminist code for “He has a cock big enough to make you cum without having to go down on you.” Many younger feminists and feminist allied men are upset that Wolf even mentioned this as a necessity because so many men who are friendly to their cause depend on the “it’s okay, you can always eat her out” theory to make up for a lack of size, and it excludes couples that contain a smaller man. So there’s still a lot of p.c. when it comes to talking about it, even in code. This doesn’t mean they don’t care, but they still try to pretend otherwise in certain contexts for the movement’s sake. Wolf, as twisted as she is, is at least being honest that over the long term many women will need access to a large one to be happy.

    I still remember the time, years ago, when I told my wife I thought I was about average in size. She said instantly, and I’ll never forget this, “I don’t know what average is, but yours is exactly xx inches long.” Never having measured myself, I checked it out and sure enough she had it right down to the fraction of the inch. I’m not a small man but I know she’s had bigger, and yes she remembers it too. They care as much as we do if not more. I had a roommate back in my school days who smelled, had few social skills and was covered in that day with lots of small whiteheads across his face and chest. He would stand there and pop these zits even when in mixed company. Women in the dorm and around campus avoided him until they heard the news about him and what he was carrying. After that he had regular company 2-3 nights a week as long as I knew him, rarely the same girl twice in a row. His overall social status didn’t change much, but getting laid so often definitely made it easier on him.

  20. You did it again, Rollo; made me see something in myself that I’d rather not have known was there, or at least not remembered was there. As I began writing a comment about women being just as shallow as they claim men to be I remembered back thirty years ago to my high school days. The girls would talk about the guys’ shoe sizes and ask them bluntly what size they wore, which was followed by either giggling or the occasional ooh and ah. When my husband and I were dating I boldly asked him what size shoe he wore and was excited to think I’d hit pay dirt. It’s a little embarrassing to look back on that. I’d forgotten my own shallowness over the years; the subject never came up among the church women. I guess things have gotten to the point now that talking about a man in reference to his shoe size is probably old school while straight talk is socially more acceptable.

  21. I agree. It matters. I’m guilty of not letting things progress further because the guy’s package was way too small. The guy ended up with one of my good friends and apparently she makes it work by using other toys while they’re in action. I’ve never mentioned to her I know about his package – or lack thereof – she’s just one of those friends who likes to tell me about her sexcapades.

    I have another friend who was with a guy who was way too big. He would have to “half cock” her (their words – not mine).

    It’s kind of like the goldilocks story … can’t be too small or too big. It needs to be just right.

  22. Penis size only truly matters as an disqualifier if it deviates from the ‘norm’ enough to be considered a deformity, which by definition is a genetic aberration and thus unattractive. Yes, yes, there are always a small number of fetishists who will find any particular abnormality attractive, but the vast majority will not.

    It’s just like boob/butt size on a woman. There is a norm (Plato’s ideal form?) and a generally attractive range around that norm, but any more than a couple/few standard deviations from that norm and you start to limit the number of people who will find it attractive from a mating/LTR perspective.

  23. What can an average man do then to win in this SMP? With average height, average looks, average D size, maybe above average intelligence(though intelligence wont help much to get me laid) I get short changed a lot. Red pill is only giving me partial success but I still have to fully digest it.

  24. 90% of women don’t really care unless it’s really small, like 4 inches or less. If some of those within the 90% say it matters, it’s usually only cause they’ve realized it gives them a little power over men who are worried about it. The end.

  25. What can an average man do then to win in this SMP?

    Find something not to be average in, and play to your strength(s).

    Oh, and work on your overall game (the basics).

    /not rocket science

  26. Hahah BC, you’d think with above average intelligence he would have figured that out himself.

    fox, start with learning how to ask smart questions. No one knows more about you than you do. Use this blog and the other associated blogs to inform your quest. Figure out what you want from women (your objective), and then always be revising your objective as you increase your experience with women.

    Just so you know, Rollo doesn’t seem to post much about how to help your game. Neither does Heartiste for that matter. Red pilling isn’t going to make you more successful with women. It will only make your highs lower and your lows less frequent.

  27. Thank you for having the guts to break ranks with all the other self-help gladhanders and actually talk about something guys have no real control over that affects their SMV. Most gamers would have you believe that you can drive forever if you just don’t look at the fuel gauge. The truths that march forth: (1) some…um…SMV shortcomings are beyond fixing and (2) cluster enough of these shortcomings on one man and he’s scewed.

  28. Women want the total ‘package’. In a world when all women know deep down they deserve a man who is in the top 1% in every measurable catagory, women caring about dick size is a given. Shit if they will next a guy for a single failed shit test a tiny dick is a deal breaker.

    Guys get your testosterone up, it’s not a magic cure all but it helps. In this day and age if you didnt come out of a magic womb with Arnie genes you need to work your ass off.

  29. I never realized how much size mattered until recently. I bought a couple of packs of cotton underwear and my usual practice is to bleach whites. Well unfortunately the bleach seemed to stretch them inordinately, not wanting them to go to waste, I continued to wear them unknowingly creating a huge bulge.

    Well, for the next several weeks women could not stop looking at my ‘package’, it got to the point where it went beyond a joke. I had no idea what was going on until I walked past a mirror and thought good gawd.

  30. (wrong link in username)

    Funny, just yesterday a girl at school was gossiping about how one of the biggest players in our year level has a tiny dick 4 inches or so (this particular slut never saw it herself, but a couple other girls she knows have). Interestingly, about a year or so ago an ex told me a guy she blew after we broke up “had a tiny dick” and when I pressed her to found out exactly how tiny the 4 inch number came up again. I don’t think girls care much about dick size unless you’re “small” and by the sounds of it 4 inches is definitely in that catergory.

  31. lol I saw a girl laugh at a guy’s tiny dick when they were about to hook up and he got pissed and grabbed his shit and left calling her a fucking whore. It was funny shit.

    I’m average size but it’s silly to even waste brain power thinking about this since you can’t change your dick size and if you’re at the stage where she’s seeing your dick it’s already on (unless you’re insecure and have shitty game like the guy I mentioned above lol), but some relevant shit I’ve gathered from personal experience, conversations with tons of girls, and guys who get laid a shit-load:

    Say there’s 10 girls lined up. But they’re all shitty lays, starfish in bed. Which one are you gonna’ pick/prefer? The hottest one. “well they all kind of suck, so I might as well pick the one with the hottest assets”

    Now say there’s 10 girls lined up and 9 of them are all shitty lays, but the 10th girl, while average in looks, is fucking INCREDIBLE in bed. She sucks dick so good it makes your eyes roll back in your head and her pussy is tight as fuck and she gets totally into it and just blows your mind in the bedroom and you get hard just looking at her because your dick knows what a night with her would be like.

    Now which one are you gonna’ pick?

    When a girl’s partners have all been pretty average lays, she’s going to go “well they all kind of suck, so I might as well pick the one with the biggest asset”

    (if you haven’t read and apply Sex God Method, Deep Spot shit, Squirting 101 shit, don’t like going down on girls, aren’t into foreplay, are vanilla in the sack, etc., you are an average lay, sorry…but don’t worry, most girls don’t even know it’s possible for a guy to know all the shit I just listed so unless they run into a guy like me they don’t realize how shitty a lay you are lol)

    If you are offering nothing interesting, she’ll have no choice but to judge you by dick size, the same way if you have a boring personality, she’ll have no choice but to judge you by your money, shoes, car, etc. whereas if you’re blowing her mind attraction-wise she doesn’t give a shit about any of that.

    There are girls who just have a big dick fetish so they screen for them, but it’s nowhere near the majority. It’s like girls who are into the Jay Cutler look, there’s a niche market but it’s not enough to make it worth running out to the gym and roiding up. There are also chicks who are curious about being with a guy with a big dick or are dying to experience it because they’re haven’t been with one yet, the way a guy might be curious what being with a chick with fake tits would be like…he may not want that all the time, but it’s like if a chick with fake tits walks in, she’s at the top of his radar so he can give it a go.

    Most chicks are fine with average or prefer it because they had a big dick experience that hurt like fuck (usually it’s ’cause it hits the back of the vag, can’t remember the spot off the top of my head), or they’re apathetic about dick size since they care more about sex as an experience as a whole.

    Chicks getting off is primarily mental, that’s why 50 Shades of Grey is selling so well, a girl’s mind/imagination/emotions are more important to her orgasm than the physical shit. That’s why BDSM stuff is about more than just duct-taping a vibrator to a chick’s clit. If you can blow her mind (again see the list of reading/watching material I mentioned above) your dick size is the last thing she’s going to give much of a shit about.

    I know a few short guys who get laid a lot when logically there’s no way they’re packing much down there. Hell, one of them uses his size to get anal from every chick he hooks up with (“no it’s cool, we can do anal because you won’t even notice it.”) lol

    In conclusion:

    1) Dick size != good in bed.

    2) Dick size insults work against most guys because most guys are insecure about their dick size.

    3) How you feel, she feels. If you’re insecure and feel like your 4″ dick or your 10″ dick is a bad thing, she’s going to subconsciously pick up on that vibe and feel like it’s a bad thing too. There are tall guys who are insecure about their height because they feel gangly and awkward, and they’re not getting any more pussy than the short guy with a chip on his shoulder about his height.

    4) “No, it’s tiny, like a wet baby carrot” has been doing wonders for piquing a girl’s interest since the beginning of PUA’s using routines lol try it sometime.

    And most importantly:

    5) I don’t get her off because my dick is the perfect size to her. My dick is the perfect size to her because I get her off.

  32. Keep in mind that I’m talking about actually getting laid and actually having results where a penis ends up inside a woman.

    I’m not talking about “ooo girls LOOKED at me more because I had a bulge!!!! Therefore we can extrapolate that–” or “this girl broke up with a guy because he had a small dick!!!! Ergo we can extrapolate that–” or girls saying “let’s face it dick size gets me wet, thus we can extrapolate that–” (we know to ignore “let’s face it, only looks matter, game doesn’t work except on sluts” but for THIS we start listening to what comes out of a woman’s mouth?? lol)

    All that shit is as relevant as the guy who’s like “I wore a blue shirt and girls gave me phone numbers more than they normally do!!!!! that means that I would get laid 93.768% more wearing this color compared to red!!!!11 GUYZ LISSEN UP I have a 100% guaranteed new technique!!111” No, you don’t have a technique. Did all those phone numbers fuck you? Oh, what? They all flaked? Now you know what mental masturbation looks like.

  33. Also for the guys who want to have real conversations about sex with chicks:

    If you give the vibe off that you won’t judge a girl, she’ll tell you all sorts of insane shit that you’ll need a serious poker face to get through. Her BFF girlfriend won’t judge her, that’s why she tells her all the dirty fucked up shit she wouldn’t tell her boyfriend (who she feels would judge her). Her gay male friend won’t judge her, that’s why they’ll sit and talk about sucking dick all night but clam up if her mom walks into the room (since she feels her mom would judge her). Girls on the Internet will say a bunch of dirty shit, but they wouldn’t post it on their Facebook with their full names and friends/family reading (since they feel they’d be judged). This is part of the classic Secret Society concept.

    This week I’ve been having some txt convos with some Internet chick about how she wants to be dominated to act like a dog, locked up in a cage, made to beg for food and wear a collar, etc. etc. and I’ve been making her send me pics/vids of her whipping her own ass with a lamp cord and gagging on a dildo till she chokes and cries as I give her orders through sexting. The whole time in-between getting her off, she’s telling me about her frustrations with a few guys she’s trying to get to be her official Dom (they pussy out after talking a big game, they turn out to be not hot enough, they’re good but not looking for a relationship, etc.). There’s one she really wants, they fucked for a week and did all sorts of crazy shit, but that guy doesn’t know about the other guys or me and she’s not having these convos with those guys. I’m privy to a ton of shit they aren’t because she knows I’m in an open relationship and won’t judge her for juggling guys.

    I only started chatting her up like 3 days ago lol And the only pic I’ve sent her is my face and she’s not even attracted to me physically lol (I’m just practicing my txt game on her and seeing if I can turn it around from friend zoned in our first convo to making her want me as her Dom over the other guys, it’s going well lol)

    I haven’t sent her any any dick pics or shirtless pics or anything (and won’t). The only thing I’ve “given” her is txt conversation that’s 1) non-judgemental and 2) leads the conversation deep into sexual topics.

    Her profile is one of those ones that says she’s looking for a serious relationship and isn’t into one night stands or booty calls lol

    Now this particular girl is an extremely submissive type chick (though an aggressive “intimidates men” type exterior, the sub stuff is just in the bedroom), but pretty much every girl I direct the conversation toward sex with (I have a lazy job so I can txt all day lol) tells me shit like this and it’s because my vibe/actions/attitude make it very clear that I’m non-judgemental and safe to talk about this stuff with.

    If your belief is “only sluts would talk about stuff like that”, that’s precisely why good girls won’t talk about that stuff around you.

    Here’s an exercise you can try if you want to hear some fucked up shit. Do it on any girl, doesn’t matter if she seems like a good girl or slut, hell you can even do it with online girls if you want but it’s more fun in person because you have to keep a straight face:

    Next time you’re talking to a girl (so probably only like 10% of the guys reading this comment section lol), and have a fun flirty vibe with her (…so make that 1% I guess lol), wait for a moment in the first 5-10 minutes where she mock-threatens you or punches you on the arm and calls you an asshole and, with a half-grin, cold-read her telling her she seems like the type of girl that would slap a guy around in the bedroom and make him LIKE it.

    Or (again in the first 5-10 minutes, the point of this is to demonstrate how easily they’ll open up about this stuff to a guy with the right vibe, you don’t have to have known her for years or anything like that) shift the convo to sex and start telling her a story about your buddy who’s a virgin and ran into a chick last weekend at the bar who told him she wanted him to choke her, slap her around and even spit on her and how he freaked out because it was his first time and he literally ran out of her apartment, but how you feel bad for him ’cause personally, you think that stuff is just part of a good rough fuck.

    Or shift the convo to sex and tell her a story about how you felt bad for your chick friend because she was nervous about buying her first vibrator and you went shopping at a sex store with her just to take it up to the counter for her and she loved it but when she brought it out during sex her boyfriend freaked on her and now she has to hide it and how you think that’s so lame of her boyfriend and you used to date a girl who worked at a sex shop who had a whole closet full of toys so you think it’s awesome.

    Or come up with your own story, the main thing is to get in the key features: 1) make the story about someone other than you so you create an “us VS them” bubble with her, 2) make it funny or dramatic, 3) make sure it involves mentioning something kinky, 4) make sure it involves you approving of whatever the kinky thing was…I like to put the approval at the end so we naturally transition into discussing that kinky thing and can get into “have you ever done it?” etc. which leads into being able to qualify her (“mmm, you like it? We’re going to get along just fine then… ;)”) etc. etc.

    Do that with a couple hundred women over the next few months and see where those conversations go lol I like kinky chicks so I’ve focused on figuring out how to screen for them super fast and weed out the vanilla girls (a lot of them can be converted but ugh, I’m lazy in my old age).

    Remember: There’s zero correlation between how easily a girl puts out and how many men she’s fucked and how kinky or vanilla she is.

  34. I’ve always considered myself small, by the logic of average=small. Just like being of average intelligence makes you stupid. I’m 6″ or just under. Maybe a little more if I go insanely hard and horny to that point where the dick hurts. You know what I mean. I’ve had insecurities about my size to the point of going insane. One of my biggest desires has always been to be a 100% sex object for women, meaning a guy they DON’T want to be together with, but a guy they come back to regularly to get a good fuck. Because honestly, if you’re only fucking girls who love you, you can never know if your sexual abilities/size would be good enough to hold it’s own. I sometimes think my insecurities come more from a lack of experience with women than my actual size. I’m 26 years old and I’ve fucked only 7 girls! I had a time in my life where I didn’t have sex for 2 years!

    I’ve dealt with my insecurities about this by just telling myself I am the fucking man and just idealize myself in every way. But to gain real closure on this size issue I’d have to leave my 3 year long LTR (with a girl I SETTLED for, so it probably will happen someday anyway), and start fucking girls until I have proof that I am “man enough” to be a fuck buddy, somebody girls go to when they need cock. I need validation that I am more than a provider, that my cock has an appeal in it’s own.

  35. @Irminsul
    Not to mean any disrespect but if you’re not getting any validation from the woman you are in an LTR with, you probably did settle. But I also wonder if you feel you need to validate yourself through women, will you ultimately find what you are looking for or will the level of confidence in who you are always be attached to the last woman you were with? Validation should come from within, not externally. You know who you are and what you are capable of and you build on that. Trying to build yourself on the whims of a woman may only leave you feeling empty in today’s culture. It’s a sad thing to look at, and I am currently trying to help my son to learn to validate himself on who he is and what he accomplishes and avoid the relationship mess he just recently went through from happening again. When he is secure in him then he will be in the driver seat of anything he wants to do and any relationship he should ever enter into again. He should never feel trapped in the opinions of others; this includes mine.

  36. Some women who might honestly say that “size doesn’t matter” will usually base their opinion on a sample of male specimens to which they have been attracted to already through other visible characteristics. These characteristics may be already correlated with an ‘acceptable’ range of penis sizes. For instance, think of the action of testosterone in the development of physiological characteristics that are appealing to women.

  37. I was a bit concerned this topic might devolve into a dick measuring contest (literally or figuratively), but thus far I don’t think the comments have gone there yet.

    When I was netscraping for a suitable pic for the cover shot I started with the most obvious search term “size matters” and the first link Google pulled was the AskMen article I linked.

    I couldn’t help but think how ironic that result was since I had done the search after I had finished writing the post. It was as if the internet gods were confirming every premise and conclusion. Here was the most popular article linked back about penis size, written by a woman, espousing exactly the same tropes, social conventions and misdirection I had detailed (including the study), and all on a website who’s primary demographic is men.

    Welcome to the Matrix.

  38. The funny thing about porn comparisons is most of the people working in porn are midgets. The guys tend to be average or a little better endowed (some exceptions) but they are really short, super thin and shaved (getting the benefit of the Optical Inch). The professionals are also the sex world’s equivalent of Olympic Trials caliber athletes – ordinary people can do a little of what those knuckleheads do, but it’s mostly an illusion, with hours long shoots, fluffers, and over 50% of the starlets report they don’t have an orgasm on film ever. (I’ve read this, no, ahem, first hand experience). So comparing a guy or girl you date to some porn actor is about as smart as comparing them to Brangelina – not only are you comparing them to somebody who is at the top of their games SMP-wise, but you’re also comparing the person in front of you to an illusion. It’s self-deceptive, in other words.

    In real life, I’ve had pretty good luck with my 5.5 inches of fury. Never had a problem getting any woman to holler “Bingo!” and ultimately it seems to have had more to do with how interested – drooling and desirous and urgent and all over her body – that I’ve been, than with any particular thing I’ve done or my body characteristics. Women are weird that way. I’m sure some women prefer more size, most seem to be pretty happy if you simply git ‘r done in an energetic and enthusiastic way. I think if you worry about it rather than getting down to work, it’s more of an issue. If you don’t sweat it, and just really enjoy the moment. If you give off the vibe that it matters, she’ll behave as if it matters, even if it really doesn’t.

  39. I don’t know a whole lot about penis envy as coined by Freud, but I don’t think most women are actually envious of the male member. Rather, they are envious of masculinity. Nothing overtly signifies masculinity more than the penis. We want masculine men, so a large penis would naturally signify more manliness. If we want to take a man’s masculinity, we would deride that which signifies it the most.

    I was a bit concerned this topic might devolve into a dick measuring contest (literally or figuratively), but thus far I don’t think the comments have gone there yet.

    Shall I? 😉 My Dad had two brothers (sadly, one recently died). Both brothers are engineers. They were incredibly close and when they got together, hilarity ensued. They were constantly calling into question each others manliness the way men are prone to do when drinking and having a good time. My Dad’s brothers were engineers and they wanted to see who was the biggest man in the most scientific manner possible. They needed to take into consideration girth and length. What did they come up with as the most accurate measure? Water displacement. God, I love men.

  40. If you’re small read through David Shade’s ASF archive and learn the deep spot and Welcomed methods he talks about. Then when the woman is completely satiated, hop on board, she won’t mind at that point.

  41. I’m also of the opinion that even if you can’t change a negative feature, it’s still a good idea to have an accurate mental map of how it can help or hinder you. I understand that the other way of doing things, keeping positive feel good thoughts at all times is another useful approach.

    For guys with an above average dick, you’re going to want to be able to play to your strengths. For that you are going to have to learn to fuck really well. That means staying power as well as heightened sensitivity – a difficult combination. Guys prefer girls who have a strong sexual response, so it should be no surprise that being aloof during sex isn’t the biggest turn on for women. You need to screamingly into it, but finely attuned to her. And to your own energies. Therefore the thousands of years old esoteric energetic sexual arts are a huge help to men who want to play to their sexual strengths.

    If you want to be a one trick pony, and you have the dick for it, this one trick can be a big chunk of what you need to keep the girl hooked. Add overall dominance and your 2/3rds of the way there.

    If a guy plays to his strengths, there is a lot he can overcome. Just be extra good at something important to women. And then if you still have time make your hobbies build up on even your weak areas. Hypergamy is our friend, because most men don’t know how to compete at a high level sexually or in the sexual marketplace.

  42. From Girl with a one-track mind

    (2) The pros and cons of differences in cock size (in my opinion)


    a) It fills me up and I feel like I am getting ‘fucked’
    b) It pushes against my cervix and stimulates my womb
    c) It pulls on my labia and thus indirectly stimulates my clit
    d) It looks beautiful when hard underneath jeans
    e) In fact it looks beautiful full stop
    f) I feel like a girl when I hold it, or put it in my mouth
    g) It can reach any position, any angle, any depth


    a) Being filled up can hurt and prevent me getting fucked hard
    b) Pushing against my cervix constantly can be painful and annoying
    c) It can rub my labia too intensely making me sore
    d) It doesn’t rub my g-spot
    e) I can’t get it all in my mouth
    f) It can be more labourious to give a hand job
    g) Not all positions can be comfortable
    h) Forget about anal: no chance that is gonna fit in there mate


    a) I can get fucked as hard as I like and want
    b) It can rub against my g-spot
    c) The length of it can rub against my labia and tickle my clit
    d) I can get it all in my mouth without choking
    e) Easier to give a hand job – if it fits into one fist
    f) Holding it makes me feel powerful
    g) It feels wonderful inside my arse


    a) It doesn’t fill me up, sometimes it’s hard to feel it
    b) It doesn’t push against my cervix
    c) It doesn’t show through jeans when hard
    d) I can’t feel it pressed up against me with clothes on
    e) Using fingers (not whole hand) can be frustrating when stroking it
    f) Spooning is impossible
    g) As is face-to-face penetration
    h) As is standing up

    But I really don’t give a fuck either way. Cock is cock is cock. Big, small, wide, narrow: they are all the same. If I had to choose, I would say I would like to be with a man who is happy with who he is and what he looks like and isn’t afraid to explore his desire or mine than with a guy who was endowed one way or the other.

  43. There is really no limit to the size dildo a woman can purchase.

    But what she can’t really purchase is all that “other stuff” like pinning her arms behind her head, smacking that ass, pulling her hair… basically, letting her know when you fuck, she is under “occupation”… Ive seen lots of girls dildos and most were average or smaller.

    I suspect its gay men buying the huge dildos.

  44. They tell u size doesn’t matter so that the guy with a tiny dick still invests resources in a girl that it does matter to so she still gets to attain some of his resources out of the short lasting interaction. If the small penis man knew it mattered would he knowingly move forward with his resources in exchange for her sex? No.

    On the flip side, a man can tell if a woman is fat and old so there doesn’t need to be such a conversation about the weight/age.

  45. This is why women do “junk bumps,” accidental physical brushes with a man’s midsection to see what he’s packing.

    One thing I’ve noticed about the more relaxed attitude toward discussing size in this day and age….that the male body is becoming more “objectified” (for lack of a better term) and that men are allowing this to happen.

    Look at the Prince Harry photos, or for that matter any “leaked” photos of celebrity dicks. (Don’t literally look at them unless you want to.) Or the sharp increase in male nudity, cock included, in mainstream film in the past ten years. Have the tables turned so much that men are operating in an SMP framework that allows women to expose, mock, or drool over our bodies just as we do theirs? Are men happily complicit in this setup – enjoying the humiliation? Or has this always lurked in our and their hindbrains, and modern society only now allows for it?

  46. This is all kind of funny. To most women there is a range that feels good. One that is on the big end of that range is a perk. There are certainly thrill seekers and women who just are built for the bigger ones that really aren’t happy with a normal guy and its a deal breaker, but most women don’t have an issue with dick size if they make past the first couple rolls in the hay. It only comes up after a break up. Its a shaming tool for them, and a control tool in a LTR where it comes up.

  47. Funny, I had never considered that avenue that a girl would make up excuses because the guy was ‘lacking’. Really though, any girl who says it isnt important is lying, strictly from an evolutionary point of view that penetration turns women on.

    But, when did girls ever want to hear of developmental biology?

    **On a side note, I came across a study 3-4 years ago that males now get more mouth cancer from giving girls oral sex than chewing tobacco. Scary. Hard to get past the STD scare a LOT of women represent in this day and age.

  48. I lied, I actually do have something to add.

    Rollo, this isn’t your best work article-wise, simply because any idiot should know that size matters to an extent. Of course anything too small (prob <4in) is going to be a detriment, while a huge donkey cock might be a novelty, but if you're anywhere in the middle you'll be fine and most women won't really care.

    Depending on race and study, if you are 5-7in then you are just like the vast majority of guys, and you should have no problem. Also, for you guys who don't actually have sex with real women, keep in mind that vaginas come in different sizes too (OMG no way!). I'm smack dab in the middle of that 5-7in range and I've run the gambit on vaginas, where in some cases I couldn't pound away because I could barely squeeze in and I kept hitting the back wall, and in other cases I felt like I was trying to fuck the Grand Canyon.

    Moral of the story, if you don't have a donkey dick then don't continue to have sex with a chick with a gaping whole between her legs.

    [Once again, try to bear in mind my operative point here wasn’t to belabor the obvious, but rather to draw attention to the social convention women have instituted to both keep men in potential ‘resource providership’ as well as using the insecurity as a form of ridicule. I’m well aware of the physical mechanics of it all, but that wasn’t the point.]

  49. How about an article on what to do if you have a small penis? I have been with around 100 girls and never gave much thought to the disproportionate number of one night stands I’ve had, but I’m starting to suspect that it’s the size of my penis, which is barely 5″ on a good day. I even had a girl blurt out “Is that all?” one time… but given, she was a total slut.

  50. Ideally, both men and women should have none, or very little, previous sexual experiences before marriage to “compare” to (shudder). Then these issues are avoided. God knows best…again.

    [So, ideally, ignorance is bliss.]

  51. I have a joke that kind of goes with the lead in.

    A recently divorced woman is driving her 5th grade daughter to school. Things are tense between the two because the daughter was close to the father and felt the mother was at fault in the divorce.

    The daughter asks “How old are you?”

    The mother responds “Honey, that’s an impolite question that you just don’t ask a woman.”

    The little girl then asks “How much do you weigh?”

    The mother responds “Honey, that’s another impolite question that someone should never ask a woman?”

    Exasperated, the girl then asks “Well, then why did you and daddy get a divorce?”

    They were pulling up to the school and the mother responded, “That’s enough with all the personal questions. Now go to school.”

    Inside, the girl complained to a friend that her mother wouldn’t answer any of her questions.

    Her friend said “Listen, just go in her wallet and look at her drivers license. That is like a report card for adults and anything you want to know will be listed on the license.”

    The next morning, the mother was driving the girl to school and the girl, in kind of a bitchy, snotty, victorious manner said, “I know how old you are. 38. And I know how much you weigh. 140. And I know why you and daddy got a divorce. You got a ‘F’ in Sex.”

  52. @Jeremy

    Your hand is as big in girth as any man’s penis. Search on Google for “Stacked orgasms”, that famous phrase from “Game” by Neil Strauss. Learn that technique. I think there is a youtube video. Stacked orgasms is just a fancy term for multiples. You basically will have all four fingers inside the vagina and your thumb on the clitoris. You bend your middle finger back around the interior of the pubic bone to find the “G” spot. When you curl your middle finger like that, that tip of it will be on the “G” spot. That area will have some small bumps almost like chicken skin. My hand is large and my fingers are long and I can usually get my index finger into the opening of the cervix. Work those three things, clitoris, G spot, cervix and she will have an orgasm. It won’t be in an instant, but she will if you stay after it. Your fingers do the same stretching as even the largest penis. Do not stop at one orgasm. She might insist that she is sensitive after orgasm. Don’t listen to her. Hold her down and go for at least two more using the technique in that video. The other two will happen faster. She will fall asleep. With a smile. She will just turn over and it’s “lights out”. There are few greater pleasures as a man than to get up from the bed and look down on a woman that you have just knocked the fuck out with orgasms.

    Even if a man has a large penis, he should still learn this technique. A woman that consistently has three orgasms during sex with you (and if you use this technique, she will), will be a lot less prone to have a “headache”. Your dick is stupid, your hand is intelligent. Also, go to some thumbprint porn site that has short free videos by classification and find videos that are about “Mature MILF seduces innocent teen” and do that those women do. They don’t have a dick and they do quite fine. Use what you learn in those videos as what you should do for preparation and foreplay. Start gentle, end rough.

    If she is fixated on size, then too bad. Nothing you can do.

  53. @Irminsul

    This is way far down in the comment stack and late at night so you probably will never see this.

    The typical range of penises are 5″-7″. By Chebyshev’s Rule, 65% of a sample will fall with 1 standard deviation of the mean, (average- meaning 6″). 95% will fall with 2 standard deviations. I’m sorry I have no idea what the standard deviation for penis size is, but I am going to assume that it about a 1/2 inch. So the reality it a good number of men are as large as you are or even smaller. If you search Google for Digit Ratio, you might see links that come up predicting penis size as a function of finger length and width. When I was in the Marines and I was stationed in Japan, the Japanese bar girls would do this giggling thing where they took the hands of the Americans and they would bend the fingers to close the hand and mark how far your middle finger went down past your palm, then open your hand and use the mark to predict the length of your penis. Then you have you make scissors using your index and middle fingers with both hands, with the plane of one hand being vertical and other horizontal, and then close the “scissors”. The circumference of the four fingers was the girth. It worked exactly for me. I was exactly as long as the length of my fingers indicated and my girth was exactly what my fingers finger indicated.

    So every since then I been walking around extrapolating men’s penis size on sight looking at height and hand size. It’s not like I meet someone and say “Hi how are you” and think “little penis”, but the knowledge is sort of built in with a physical appraisal. The reality is that most men have pretty much the same size hands. If your dick is bigger than 7″ then you are palming a basketball pretty easy.

    Buddy, you aren’t small enough that you should give two shits about it. I am 7″ inches (and I am 6’3″ in height) and it sticks out of my jeans when it is erect. And that’s only inch difference. I can go a whole week and not see anyone taller than me. Most guys are about 5’10” and I assume that most of them have 6″ dicks. I assume anyone from 5’8″ to 6’0″ is only slightly bigger than you or smaller. In Ashton Kutcher’s movie “Spread” a angry woman tell his character “You aren’t that special. You’re just one more guy in Hollywood with a 5 inch dick”. So you’re bigger than him.

    There are guys that are 3″ dicks that have surgeries and you are twice that. Only 5% of men by Chebyshev’s Rule are larger than 7″ or smaller than 5″, so I assume that only 2.5% are larger than 7 inches. If you are thin and your girth isn’t what you want, then there are things you can do. There is a procedure where they pull fat out of your buttocks, centrifuge it, and re-inject it into your penis. With two treatments you can have 25% longer circumference which is a lot bigger.

    Read my comment above about stacked orgasms. Try that. Your dick is big enough that you shouldn’t freak over it.

    You need to be reading Rollo a little bit more. Any post that he has that has the word “Next” in it, you need to pay particular attention to it. If you are in emotional turmoil over your dick size with a woman, that is Gamer’s grounds to quickly Next that bitch.

  54. In my omega days I had the luck to get involved in a devil’s threesome with a hot girl and an alpha. He had the game whereas I had the “I knew you’d be big.” she said moment. Anyway, he was a competitive guy and he started chasing her again in order to prove he could get her to choose him over me but thanks to my being the bigger man (in every way) she threw herself at me. This was right at the start of my red pill journey though and I fucked up a sure thing…

    Of course, having a large dick never got my laid and doesn’t really work pre-fuck because I don’t walk around showing it off. After sex though…

  55. I got another joke.

    A woman discovers that the man she is about to have sex with for the first time has a two inch penis.

    She says “And who do you intend to satisfy with that thing?”

    He says “Me”.

  56. Interesting point…So, what if Mr. boring-Accountant-hubby with the 9-5 job has a large tool? How does that mess with the female mind? She seeks him out for security and gets a bonus, but grows bored. Like in the HBO series “Hung” where the guy is not secure in his career or one to bring in more than a teacher’s salary, but has a great tool. His wife leaves him and says the only good thing he ever had going for him was his big cock.

    Women have more control financially and sexually today, so it makes sense that they do not have to settle for Mr. 3″ dick. I am sure there is a diminishing retruns graph someone could draw that reconciles size of wallet against size of cock to show where the woman, no matter how much money hubby brings in, will stray because he is small. Funny thing to consider.

  57. Surprised to see this post on a game blog. The comments too. Since when did men give a fuck about pleasing women? They are there for OUR pleasure, not the other way around. They are the nurturers, not us.

    Maybe I was a natural but I never gave one single fuck what women wanted from me in the bedroom and they always came back for more. And before you say it’s due to size, a stint in the military assures me I am right in the middle range of size.

    All this talk about size is just cockblocking yourselves and giving you even more excuses not to go after what you want.

    Shit like this makes me wonder if you guys are more beta than the guys you give advice to. SMH

  58. Like anything in my life- I guess it matters, but not enough to do me much good. I say this because statistically I am in the upper percentiles at least as far as length. I am closer to average girth-wise, but could not be considered small by any normal sized human.

    I am pretty much exactly 8 x 5 erect. My IQ is in the top 2%. These things have never helped me get laid.

    I saw some guy up there complaining about being 5″ and having 100 sexual partners. Dude….

    I am in my mid-30s. Been with 2 women. Two. Have legit ruler-on-top 8″ penis. Wanna trade?

  59. Sophomore year in high school there was this girl , let’s call her TC. She was tall and thin, she wasn’t the most popular or desirable girl in HS but she did make a few guest appearances in my postpubescent wankreel, anyway.

    I was sitting alone one day and TC walks up with a couple of her friends. She says,
    ” Can I see your hand. ”
    I held out my hand as if to shake.
    She grabbed it and turned the palm upwards, she placed a ruler on it holding the end at the first wrinkle on my wrist and measured to the tip of my longest finger. She said ” Eight and three quarters. ” her voice raising in pitch towards the end of the sentence. Her lips pursed , her head cocked to one side as if this were an incredulous result. The friend to her left scribbled something on a notepad. TC said ” You ? ” She shook her head and walked away, the scribbler followed.

    I sat there confused by the experience. The friend who had been standing to TC’s right leaned in and whispered in my ear.
    ” That’s supposed to be an accurate way to measure your , uhh, thing, like when its hard”
    Internally my reaction was ” Oh …Ohhhhh.” and my face must’ve reflected this. The whisperer smiled knowingly and leaned back in to say ” Yours is the longest one we’ve measured so far. ”

    I honestly don’t know what degree of accuracy the hand-to-cock ratio test would bear on a large sampling , but in my case it’s right on the money.

    Being raised by Conservative Evangelicals I was taught that men were all filthy perverts and that women were practically asexual. This hand measurement was the first memorable experience to suggest otherwise.

    In the years since several women have told me ” I love the way your hands hold me it makes me safe and secure” or some variation thereof. And deep down I know it’s it’s not about safety or security despite what she might say and actually think to herself. Somewhere, deep in that primitive hindbrain she’s thinking ” Cool , I scored a guy who’s packin’ . “

  60. I may not be an expert about sex but I do know before size I want someone
    who clips their toe nails, does not touch me with dirty finger nails,baths more than once a week, knows what the inside of a dentist office looks like. For me personal hygiene is sexy along with a sensitivity to the fact that
    my body is not like a mans so intercourse can hurt if I’m not ready. Some woman may like large men but for others it is painful.

    My girlfriends complain about scratching,biting,twisting nipples,pulling hair,
    climaxing and going to sleep,climaxing to quickly and a million other things before size. In my opinion men are just not designed to be sensitive lovers.

  61. Penis size matters and so does vagina size. Many women who spend time on men’s penis size are deflecting the real issue: as they age and sleep around, their vagina loosens (even if they do their dumb exercises they claim tighten their vaginas). Virgins and/or younger women offer the most friction and thus another reason to avoid any long term commitment with a woman.

    On an interesting note: a man’s penis size after the age of 20 doesn’t grow or shrink that much, so it remains the same. Also, for men worried about penis size, keep in mind that there are dildos bigger than the biggest of men. Ultimately, no man wins in this area, so it’s pointless to worry about provided that you remain uncommitted (I do understand why men who love someone worry about this).

  62. Mark, I’m not sure about that hand measurement dick size thing. My dick is exactly as big as my hand, from the where the hand joins the wrist to the tip of the middle finger, which is the same measurement as my finger span. When stretching to reach past an octave on the piano I’m measuring my dick.

    I suppose I have smallish hands on a smallish frame. Big feet though.

    But I have heard that there is a correlation between hand and dick size, more so than between feet and dick.

  63. I’m going to say that size does matter. When a guy is on the small side he is more likely to have an abundance of inadequacy issues that will further contribute towards putting of a lady. I often hear women complaining of too large penises (7inches plus) saying that it hurts them..but really if enough preparation is made, it shouldn’t.

  64. @YaReally,

    “I know a few short guys who get laid a lot when logically there’s no way they’re packing much down there. Hell, one of them uses his size to get anal from every chick he hooks up with (“no it’s cool, we can do anal because you won’t even notice it.”) lol”..

    Bullshit. Height is not a predictor of penis size. Logically they can pack whatever size their genetics determine.

  65. @S

    I guess it’s possible. I just figure a guy who’s 5’2″ probably isn’t packing what would essentially be the size of his forearm. Buying pants must be a nightmare.

  66. @YaReally,

    I have heard of men who are on the shorter side being 6.5 inches plus and have also heard of some extremely tall men being pretty average or less than in the trouser department.

  67. I think it’s wrong to conclude that it’s the size of the dick that turned the chick off. I think that it’s his insecure behavior because of his small dick which turned her off in the first place. The small dick just confirmed her preconceived view of him.

  68. @Jay — Who knows, his dick might have not even been that small, maybe he was just lousy in bed, or not ‘alpha’ in general. Plenty of women dream up a virtual penis size depending on how good the guy makes them feel. Just because this was whispered in confidence doesn’t mean she was down there with a tape measure.

    (I’ve had a couple gfs who told their friends I was huge, when I’m assuredly not. But its a nice rumor to have whispered around. Probably had a few who told their buds I was three inches too, after the breakup.)

  69. Sexual selection. Big dicks exist for a reason (hint: sexual selection is usually driven by the choosier sex).

  70. Pingback: Size Matters
  71. I’m short (height-wise), but have a perfectly average dick (6-7″, average girth). Obviously being short is an even more noticeable handicap, as women perceive this long before they get near your equipment. Further, I’ve known a few women who correlate height with penis size, even though that correlation is weak at best (if it exists at all). I know a few short guys with huge–huge–dicks.

    That said, I’ve dated plenty of beautiful women, several significantly taller than myself. I’m blessed in that I’m otherwise good looking and comfortable in the bedroom.

    A girl I’m seeing now has been with several guys that were huge physically and downstairs. She prefers me out of bed, but it turns out also in. We have chemistry–simple as that. One thing she said was telling: “Once I got to know you, you didn’t seem short anymore.”

    It’s entirely true that men with huge cocks get around. There’s a novelty, and yeah, I think in quite a few cases women get off on it. I’ve also observed cock size is something certain women like to taunt men with. So not nothing, but not everything.

    Actually watch some pro and amateur big cock porn–I’ve seen plenty where the woman clearly doesn’t get off or has to masturbate fairly aggressively. Just shoving a big pipe in there doesn’t guarantee good sex. Most women don’t need to be stuffed to come, and plenty don’t like it at all, or not all the time. My ex and I played around with this cock sleeve–about half the time she didn’t like the extra girth and the other half she liked it OK, but really not much more than regular sex. None of her dildos were any bigger than my cock (and she wasn’t the sort to spare my feelings, trust me).

    A rambling comment, but I suppose this is a subject about which it’s hard to say anything conclusive. Feel big, guys.

  72. I don’t believe in double standards, the female self esteem cult wants female obesity and ugliness and age and poverty *not* to be a topic of discussion so they can fully enjoy the fruits of a muscular, big dicked man without feeling shame. Ironically a typical canard about the manosphere is that it’s a bunch of losers out of their element who just won’t date their “type” and instead shoot for the hotties out of their league but female hypergamy wants the reverse, in addition to other things.

    I remember watching Chelsea Handler allege that a man had a small dick for making the claim that Fat Kardashian was fat. It’s all part of the plan.

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  74. Most of the comments here basically tuned in to what a woman’s feeling and wanting in penis size. Its nice to know that you can please a woman in bed – but thats often best accomplished by other things than penis size.

    What about what we as men want? To me, it appears most comments are over-focused on womens’ desires. What about being a man in your own right? Or has being a man primarily come down to just pleasing a woman? It is true women use penis size to shame & invalidate men. Again, why are we as men allowing this? And, should we laugh & snicker when another man does have a small penis? Then we are affirming the women’s shaming & invalidation of our fellow men. Just look at what many of the comments here say – it is disappointing to me – because it seems obvious most are very into needing to please women and/or insecure.

    I think in general we are lowering ourselves and our standards as people. That’s not good for men nor for young boys who will become men.

  75. I disqualify women shorter than 5′ 6″ and smaller than a “C”. Taller big breasted women generally have more self confidence. I prefer >5′ 7″ and “D”.

    What about the cover up of betas? “More than a handful is wasted.” Well – I have big hands. A “D” fits nicely. If I can get her excited the breast expands to “DD”. Tasty.

    Self confidence is worth more than dick size. So why does it matter? Generally –> small dick = lower self confidence.

  76. Irminsul
    September 18th, 2012 at 6:59 am

    I dunno. I have a strict rule that I learned after the 4th or 5th girl. Never fuck a chick where there is not mutual love. It need not last. But if that love/desire isn’t there the experience will be 2nd rate or worse.

    You want to maintain her love in a LTR? Have a girlfriend she knows about. Better – have threesomes with her and the GF. Make sure they are both “in love” and want to keep that going. They will compete. That is very good. And the best? “Want to go shopping?” “Naw. Why don’t you and her go shopping. I have a project I NEED to work on.”

    Another good rule – How many GFs should you have at one time? Zero or 2+. One is a terrible number. One on one they think they own you. One on two you own them. Dump the girls who can’t handle such a situation. They are nothing but misery.

  77. 2 Things.. 1. You must have confidence in your size, no matter what it is. 2. If you want to make the girl squirt (vaginally), the hand can be far more effective. This skill ‘definitely’ gains you points. 15 seconds to explosion.. That’s how good it can get.

  78. Women deny that size matters because we’re socialized that it’s bad, wrong, degrading, we’re sluts, have loose pussies, etc. if we admit that size matters at all.

    Here’s the truth (whether you wish to believe it or not): size MATTERS. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean bigger is better. It means that different sized penises feel different from one another. Just like men have preferences when it comes to sex (breast size, pussy tightness, etc.), a woman has preferences on which sensation she prefers when having sex.

    Some women like long and thick, some short and thick, some long and thing, some long and short, some don’t care about length but enjoy a thick one, so on and so on. I think everyone gets the point.

    The key to remember is no matter your size there are women out there who prefer that size over other sizes. One woman doesn’t enjoy that size, chalk it up to not being sexually compatible (VERY VERY important in a relationship), move on, and don’t be spiteful.

    Few things are more pathetic than a guy who trashes a girl (she’s a whore, slut, etc.) b/c they weren’t sexually compatible.

  79. I’m a little late to the game on this topic, but I have some thoughts on this.

    First off, maybe this is my inner mgtow, but for a bunch of red pill guys here, the comments are borderline blue pill/pussy beggar. So many comments like “if you work hard to please her in other ways, she will be happy.” I don’t think I need to explain why this type of thinking is tragically flawed.

    But to answer the question on whether size matters: YES and NO.

    Sure, it matters in terms of overall masculinity/hypergamy, and especially if she’s into the hyper masculine type. A larger penis is an important sign of physical masculinity just as a tighter vagina (more on that coming up) and bigger, perky breasts are important parts of the physical femininity. Are women attracted to a masculine man with masculine features even down to his penis? Of course they are.

    In terms of function and theory, generally speaking, size doesn’t – or shouldn’t – matter. The average vagina is naturally very small (both in girth and length) and with up-keeping (kegels) and not riding the cock carousel, even a guy being under average can “please her”…

    However, penis size becomes an issue since (a) women don’t take responsibility for their genitals and (b) women sleep around and their vaginas get blown out and desensitized more than ever.

    In essence, we’ve come full circle. But it’s not because of penis size at all. Studies have found that doing kegels to tighten the vagina brings the woman more pleasure (you know, bringing her vagina to the size she once had many decades ago). What does that say? Perhaps that it was never the penis to begin with.

    But let me digress…See what I previously wrote? – “…even a guy being under average will please her.”

    “…will please her.”

    “Will please her.”

    This goes back to my first point; we are taking a VERY gynocentric/blue pill standpoint on said subject. Being a rational, red pill thinking male, Rollo should have also asked these very relevant questions:

    Why do we focus on penis size when vagina size is often more variable and just as important?

    Penis size only matters because of her variable vagina size.

    Let me repeat that.

    Penis size only matters because of her variable vagina size.

    The vagina is surrounded by muscle. Muscle is variable, something women have control over. In time and carousel riding, the muscle loosens and it becomes more difficult to orgasm and experience pleasure, and not just for the woman.

    Perhaps our original question should be: Does vagina size matter?

    It reminds me of Jim Jefferies’ joke on foreplay, and I paraphrase: “If I don’t get an erection, it’s considered my fault. If she doesn’t get wet, it’s also considered my fault…If I don’t reach orgasm, it’s my fault, if she doesn’t reach orgasm, it’s also considered my fault.” See the trend here? Men have become responsible for their own genitals AND women’s genitals.

    I think the tide is shifting – albeit slowly – in terms of asking for some responsibility on the female side of things; we now hear jokes like “hot dog down a hallway” which bring light the other side of the equation.

    Penis size only becomes a *big* discussion point in a gynocracy where women are hyperagent beings; where men hold all responsibility and women hold all choices. And since we live in said environment, yes, penis size has become a much *bigger* issue.

  80. Also, I hope Rollo read my previous comment and considers doing another topic on this subject, but this time taking a less gynocentric viewpoint.

  81. I think some commenters over think sex and that’s seriously detrimental to getting women off. YaReally’s comment is good because one has to learn certain techniques, but besides that you should do to women in bed whatever feels natural to you. I assume most of us feel like dominating girls in bed and every single girl I’ve been with liked that. Something I learned is that contrast amplifies all their reactions. So fuck her on top with all your weight on her and then fuck her doggy and your dick will feel amazing because now that’s the only part of you she feels. After rough doggy, put her on her knees and caress her while she’s sucking you off and then fuck her hard again. Then a lot of it is foreplay. I always try to err on the too much foreplay side not only because I think it’s amusing when girls make their panties a mess, but because the more you caress her before sex, the harder you can smash her during sex(if you feel like outright humiliating women, it works wonders; if she’s reluctant, edge her). It’s preposterous though to have a to do list for sex. Just make her your plaything and use good technique. An ex cheats on her bigger dicked boyfriend with me(average or maybe half an inch above) because I turn her into a quivering mess of our mixed juices. And it’s simply a function of technique and not giving a fuck. Use contrast to make fucking you an emotional and physical roller coaster for her and she’ll get addicted. Sure, I wouldn’t mind an extra inch, but worrying about it is silly. I assume it does suck if you’re actually small, but it’s not the end of the world.

  82. Makes sense to me now, size doesn’t matter when it come to Beta providers but it does when it come to Alpha sex partners.

  83. Do penis exercises actually work? I have scoured the internet for the past few weeks trying to find some reliable sites or advice to grow my “painfully average” member. Should I just give up? What do you suggest the small/average guys do? We’ve established that size matters but there seems to be a lack of solutions. Could anyone point me in the right direction?

  84. Sorry guys. There is no other way to know what a man is packing other than by looking at his crotch. I’m 5’10” tall and have size 9 feet. My Dick is between 8-9″ depending on how hot the woman is and how happy I am with her. It also appears to be perfect in circumference and looks–every woman I’ve ever been with has told me so.

    and yeah, they pretty much all fall in love with it. That allowed me to marry two heireses and carry a harem wherein I was open and honest about it. The only books on this topic I’ve ever read are “The sensuous male” and “the joy of sex”. both before age 15.

    My plates on FB love to make innuendos about it and love pics of me in biking shorts or tight jeans. I was a god in HS and every friggin jock in the locker room bowed down to it one way or the other. I just knew I was special and of course it gave me a lot of confidence and cockiness. In HS girls used to borrow daddy’s car to come get me to go fuck.

    This whole thing about women and dick size isn’t new. Men wore clothing in 1400-1500’s that accentuated their packages. Don Juan was who was because he had a big dick. Ole Juan was just like me–he knew you could marry more money in ten minutes than you can make in a lifetime.

    But, learn how to use your dick and carry on. Reality is, less than 5% of the population of men have a dick 7″ or larger. Average is actually only 5.5-5.75″. So, Mr. 6’3 up above is likely measuring from his A-hole. Most tall guys I saw in locker rooms had nothing to write home about.

  85. Yeah, whenever the subject “size matters” comes up I just say something like “and we all know there is one vagina size” and that pretty much ends the discussion. Just comes down to how well the couple fits together.

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