Coquetry

I generally avoid troubling myself with the blatantly girl-world propaganda advice articles over at AskMen.com, but I had a friend refer this article to me. It’s the same predictable boilerplate reasoning I’ve come to expect from the Hooking Up Beta crowd when discussing the merits of Waiting for It. Side note: please do read the short bio of Giulia Simolo for an enlightening brief on what makes for a good ‘relationship correspondent’.

All this article does is reinforce the feminine as the primary sexual interest. As is the default pre-position of every solipsistic woman giving advice, every point she makes presumes the woman is the PRIZE. So lets break this down from a less orthodox presumption:

Waiting Creates Anticipation
Anticipation is already present from the moment you and she feel arousal for each other. Attraction isn’t a choice, and anticipation isn’t something “created” by intent. Trust me, no girl making you wait is thinking, “Oh I just want him to savor this delightful anticipation.”

Waiting Creates Challenge
Yeah, for you. I love how the feminine rationale is that it’s the Man who’s given the opportunity of creating the challenge, when in fact it’s classically been a woman’s realm for millennia to play the coquette. Who are we bullshitting here?

Waiting Shows You Don’t Think She’s A Slut
The only gender concerned with being perceived as a slut is women. Once again, feminine primacy. Every man loves a slut, he just wants her to be HIS slut. The importance is less about his perception of her being a slut and more about her self-concern about her moving past the thinking she’s one. When it comes to sex, single women filibuster with concerns about slut status, when in an LTR they filibuster with concerns about “feeling sexy” – in both instances sex is always about her, not you.

Waiting Keeps YOU Interested.
And again, feminine primacy. For centuries, nothing has served women better than an implied promise of future sexual release with her. The longer you stay in a state of suspended sexual interest, the less time and opportunity you’ll have to weigh other, better, options than what she may represent. However, you can only shake the shiny keys for so long before someone else shakes their own and draws attention away.

Waiting Shows You’re A Gentleman
Qualification for her pussy. Women don’t want to fuck gentlemen, they want to fuck Men who are sexual and have a mutual, covertly recognized desire to bang her.

Waiting Gives You Time To Evaluate Her
The only thing most men are evaluating about a woman they haven’t slept with is HOW to sleep with her. This may sound like logic, but it’s really an unassailable idealism meant to compliment a man’s ego. It’s complimentary; of course you’re a well rounded man of the world who’d be interested in qualifying her for your intimacy, you’re mature and experienced enough to know what’s best for you, right? Women ALWAYS play by the rules when they’re relaxed and show you their true colors while you’re waiting to fuck them. They’re incapable of hiding their character flaws in the time it takes for you to wait her out sexually, right?

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait
And of course what girl-world article would be complete without a trite aphorism at the end? At least we get down to brass tacks. She is the PRIZE. The carrot really is worth the effort of towing the feminine primacy cart. Play her filibuster games and there’s a nice piece of chocolate cake at the end of it for you. It’s the same piece of cake the outlaw biker got about 8 months ago due to her hormonally fueled urgency to fuck him immediately, but she’s turning over a new leaf with you. She’s trying to do things different now with you, because you’re really the ‘special’ one.

Coquetry

I was skimming through the Art of Seduction last night and I came across a passage there that reminded me of this article. The section was about coquetry. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, playing the coquette is by and large the natural (some would argue ‘unlearned’) default method of seduction for women; going from hot to cold, interest to feigned disinterest, the promise of fantastic sex and then a complete disconnected indifference. That is coquetry, and it hardly needs to be taught to women since for thousands of years it’s proven to be so effective in covertly drawing out what they want in men. As I’ve said in many prior posts, a woman’s best agency is always her sexuality. It’s their first best key to power over men (which explains why it’s so distressing for women as it decays with age).

What this article is attempting to do is convince men that they can play an effective coquette too – essentially adopt a female seduction method. While there is some merit in adopting female seduction methodologies (i.e. “flip-the-script” Game), when promoted by women giving men advice, the premise is disingenuous on so many levels it’s hard to know where to begin with it. However, after re-reading it I can see the mechanics behind it. The idea is to draw men into thinking that they are the ones doing the resisting, when in fact they are only better playing into a woman’s coquetry and ultimately better facilitating the methods of her innate hypergamy.

The principle is this: the one who is doing the resisting is the one who is controlling the dynamic. It comes back to The Cardinal Rule of Relationships

In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.

The trick to feminine coquetry is incrementally rewarding her target(s) with marginal intimacy while simultaneously resisting him enough to keep him in the limbo necessary for her to assess the best options for breeding and provisioning from a pool of potential suitors.

Now, why would a woman want to do this? The polite answers, the pretty lies, are found in the bullet points in this article. Each of which is intended to convince men to play along with her coquetry (feminine seduction) and better facilitate the real function of her coquetry – sexual selection from amongst her best options (i.e. hypergamy). If a man can be convinced that it’s in fact he who is doing the resisting, for all the noble and acceptable reasonings, it only makes her coquetry easier.

Coquetry is a woman’s socially approved methodological equal of Plate Theory for men. And just like Plate Spinning, it requires a woman to keep a covert stable of potential suitors in rotation. They can’t implicitly know about each other. If they did, she runs the risk of them losing interest in frustration. So, how much the better if a Man is an active participant in her own coquetry? How much the better when he believes it’s his own idea to be his own coquette?

In Iron Rule #3 the reason I said waited-for sex is never worth the wait is because it reduces sexual tension and urgency. It’s essentially negotiated desire – “OK well play by your rules and fuck when you’re finally convinced that I’m worthy of your vagina.” By playing your own coquette, you may think you’re drawing her into YOUR web and she’ll be a foaming hot mess for you by the time YOU “allow” her to ride your cock, but you’re only fooling yourself. Assuming you even get to actual sex with her, it’s still her who’s doing the resisting, and now your sex is based on the implied negotiation you agreed to by waiting her out. And what were you waiting for? Her to come to the conclusion that she couldn’t do better than fuck you in the immediate future.

Every chump in human history has, in different versions, thought he was doing the right thing by playing the friend, waiting patiently, building comfort and trust, being a gentleman, being emotionally supportive and sensitive to a woman’s desires in the interim times when she’s not riding the Alpha Bad Boy’s cock. Women who are interested in you wont confuse you. If you are her “A” guy she wont make you wait (very long) to get after it with you. If she’s delaying and filibustering, rest assured you are her “B” or “C” guy, and she needs negotiated convincing to bump you up to being her starter.