The Slut Paradox

Every man wants a slut, he just wants her to be HIS slut.

ANDREW DICE CLAY: Hey, is that your chick there?

GUY IN THE AUDIENCE: Yeah!

DICE: Damn she’s pretty hot!

GUY: Yeah,..

DICE: You been together a while?

GUY: About 6 months.

DICE: Nice. She faithful to you?

GUY: Oh yeah.

DICE: She good in bed?

GUY: *nods head enthusiastically*

DICE: She suck a good dick?

GUY: (laughing) Ohhh yeah,..heheh,..

DICE: I suppose the next question would be, “How do you suppose she got that way?”

If you had an idealized Quality Woman girlfriend who was smoking hot, well adjusted mentally, loyal, would make a good mother, came from a good family, etc. etc., but would only ever begrudgingly have sex with you, in missionary position only, never consider giving you head, and only once a month (in 13 minute increments) because she’d been conditioned to believe that sex was immoral and she didn’t want to be thought of as a slut, would you marry her?

This is the Slut Paradox that vexes contemporary man; what number of prior lovers can a woman have that would be acceptable for you? Seven? Five? How many hobby horses should there be on the cock carousel before a woman is a slut? Don’t bother answering this, because for your average (beta) man, the number – even if you could get full disclosure – is irrelevant to him.

You see, thanks to the pre-existing social infrastructure that the feminine imperative has established, the average man can’t believe his luck when he finally does become sexual with a woman – whether it’s his first time or it’s the hundredth with his wife. So high is her pedestal that it’s literally a twist of fate. The gods have smiled upon him with the sexual favors of a woman, and his good fortune is made all the better when his lover already knows how to perfectly suck his cock just like the women in all the porn he’s watched since he was twelve. No questions are asked – you don’t qualify a gift from the gods, you just accept it.

The Slut Paradox is a very complex issue because it wraps up so much social, emotional and biological importance and details. I’m using the ‘average’ man here as a starting point because he’s the social majority; he’s the benchmark for how both genders approach the paradox, because it’s his discretion to give a woman’s sexual past any kind of gravity. For as much as women will bleat on about “slut status” and double standards, it really all comes down to how the average – in this case beta – male contends with (or doesn’t) a woman’s sexual past. As enlightened Game-aware Men we’re largely exceptions to this rule, or at least blamefully aware of the mechanics of it.

In the initial attraction and arousal stages of a sexual pairing, the average guy doesn’t care about a woman’s prior sex life. It’s only after that pairing becomes solidified that it becomes a consideration.

Unless a woman is a porn actress, I don’t think it’s the number of guys that bothers Men; and I don’t even think it’s the details of how many dicks she’s had. What’s bugs men is that they want to possess her. Men want her genuine desire, but know other guys have had it already and moved on – and they’re cool with it, and she’s cool with it, but he’s not because he wants to own her. He wants to know that he’s getting the best of what she has to offer sexually and emotionally. He wants to know that HE’S the guy who brings out the slut in her that no other guy has experienced fully.

This is the root of the paradox issue. The average guy is playing by the feminine imperative’s stated rule set. He wants monogamy, he had to work at it. He had to negotiate with her for what she willingly, genuinely, desired to do with 5 other guys (assuming she’s honest). And on some level, he knows her desire for him is compromised because he had to plead his case with her so she’d warm up to him. Only now that he’s gotten what he’s idealized for so long he realizes other’s have had it before him without anything that comes even close what he invested to get.

Alpha Widows

Now before I get run up the flagpole here, I’m completely aware of the studies indicating a woman’s capacity to bond monogamously is inversely proportionate to the number of sexual partners she’s experienced prior to monogamy. I wont argue the merit of that concept, but I also don’t think that it fully encompasses the dynamic. I say this because, as Katy Perry so adequately illustrated recently, even ONE prior lover (or even unrequited obsession) can be Alpha enough to upset that bonded monogamous balance. These are the Alpha Widows – women so significantly impacted by a former Alpha (or perceptually so) lover that she’s left with an emotional imprint that even the most dutiful, loving beta-provider can never compete with. A woman doesn’t have to have been an archetypal slut in order to have difficulty in pair bonded monogamy.

So again I’ll ask, how many is too many? For an Alpha Widow, one’s enough. It’s my contention that the Slut Paradox isn’t a numbers game so much as it’s an Alpha impact game. What if your new partner has only banged a mere 2 men before you, but engaged in intense sexual experiences she feels self-conscious about doing with you? Is she a slut?

As a final thought, I should add that women have long been aware of the utility that the Slut Paradox represents in maintaining primacy for their sexual strategy. I elaborated on this in the The Tool of ASD,

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Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

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A.B. Dada
9 years ago

This is a constant topic of discussions in my inner circle — practically every time the guys get together for a night of Scotch and cigars, someone brings up the question of “I wish my girl was sluttier” or “I hate that my girl used to be such a slut.” To me, there is no paradox. I have had subconscious rules all of my life, and the few times I violated those rules, I was hurt emotionally or financially (see: my ex-marriage). 1. I don’t pick up women in bars, ever. I meet women in bars, and their ability to… Read more »

Fake PUA Meme
Fake PUA Meme
9 years ago
Reply to  A.B. Dada

Your comments follow a formula. Exaggerate the degree to which you already do what the game-post talks about. “This is a constant topic of discussions in my inner circle — practically every time the guys get together…” Pluralize singular experiences, and draw sweeping generalizations from them. “Most of the gals I date long term don’t own TVs…” (You really expect us to believe a significant sample size of American women don’t own televisions……….) “They don’t have credit card debt.” (What? Maybe one or two girls, but there’s no way you can say this about every girl you’re with……..) Then draw… Read more »

A.B. Dada
9 years ago
Reply to  Fake PUA Meme

Take it as you do. All the sites I visit and comment on, I recommend to real life people who can vouch for me, but I usually request they don’t. Since I consider myself the sort of guy who has reached a point in my life where I can help others, I share my anecdotal stories. It’s up to each individual to take online advice with a grain of salt, but my offer to people online is always the same: if you visit a town I happen to be in (and I generally post where I am at, year long),… Read more »

(r)Evoluzione
(r)Evoluzione
9 years ago
Reply to  A.B. Dada

AB, take credit in the fact that you have an anonymous troll. It’s street cred on teh interwebz. No haters = not doing it right.

A.B. Dada
9 years ago
Reply to  (r)Evoluzione

They’ve been hitting my Facebook wall and pages crazy style. I just told my assistant to log in as me and delete that shit, but maybe I should keep it up there for true street cred, ha.

A girl I’m seeing found some shit I wrote on the web in 1991 — the year she was born. It was goofy beta shit about car stereos and MiniDisc players, but it was cred nonetheless. Trolls just make me feel more powerful, I wish them on all the best writers and commenters.

Fake PUA Meme
Fake PUA Meme
9 years ago
Reply to  A.B. Dada

In the same way you claim to disqualify girls for superficial behavior, men too should nix other men from their lives for serious character flaws.

I don’t do this very often, but I’ve learned it is always right to cut liars from my life. A lack of respect for this kind of person is not punitive- it is natural.

If others choose to ignore the overwhelming evidence that you are a liar- that you lie repeatedly, often and not that well, then it demonstrates a lack of character or, at best, a lack of experience with deceptive people.

A.B. Dada
9 years ago
Reply to  Fake PUA Meme

There’s no purpose is defending one’s reputation to people one meets in real life and doesn’t know. There’s even less purpose in giving any sort of reputation defense to some anonymous coward on a blog comments site. My name’s out here for one to vet — it’s very easy to criticize others when you can’t be critiqued yourself. Of course, being myself under my real name has allowed me to expand my group of friends, and my business empire. That’s what reputation is: not being afraid of what you say, and finding like minded individuals to join in your circle… Read more »

Fake PUA Meme
Fake PUA Meme
9 years ago
Reply to  Fake PUA Meme

Again, exaggeration and lies. There is no business empire. You brag on your website about your investments: http://www.ventureancap.com/seeds-funded/the-doublespeak-dictionary-by-leslie-starr-ohara/#more-51 $600 in http://www.thedoublespeakdictionary.com is not a serious business investment. $750 in Amagi Bar & Grille is not a business empire. Even if these are just drops in a bucket, what kind of serious business person promotes such low level activity? There is a total disconnect between your reality and how you talk about yourself. You push the same simplistic lying self-descriptions over and over, and they are always so easy to disprove. You’re a wanna-be shameless self-promoter. That is your game- you… Read more »

Dr. Sado
Dr. Sado
9 years ago
Reply to  A.B. Dada

I understand why you are divorced, darling.

Samuel
9 years ago

Only Alphas can “own” women.

For me, its not about how many men she has been with, but how many Alphas have owned her.

Even then I am not threatened, because I know my ownership is excellent and strong enough to supplant prior Alphas.

However, if a woman does not exhibit any elements of self-control in her behavior, I will not make the investment required to “own” her because I am not buying. This is because she is not to be owned, and will scorn or cuckold any who would try.

Flahute
Flahute
9 years ago
Reply to  Samuel

If more than one alpha has “owned” her, she’s a slut.

trackback

[…] any case, Rollo Tomassi teases out some nuance with his latest. An excerpt: If you had an idealized Quality Woman girlfriend who was smoking hot, well adjusted mentally, […]

Snoeperd
Snoeperd
9 years ago

Lol I’m suprised but according to this post i dont qualify as beta. lolol

Danger
Danger
9 years ago

I consider slut and former alpha lovers as mutually exclusive. Both bring their own set of problems. Sluts: Mostly measured by the number of c0cks they’ve ridden. Red flag due to many partners and inability to pair-bond effectively. Also a red flagdue to inability to keep legs closed regardless of the quality of man vying for entry to the slit. Several former Alpha lovers: While not a slut, still poses a few problems…. 1. She is alpha attractant, your game had better be tight. 2. Increased chance of cuckoldry due to alpha attractant. 3. Increased chance of her “being bored”… Read more »

Co
Co
9 years ago

I’m really glad you posted this bc i could really use some insight from someone who is married. I’ve really grown from your articles bc you are much more balanced and rational in your approach than other bloggers. I grew up as an idealistic beta in a super evangelical home, and as such I had a lot of skewed ideas about sex–not that it was evil, but just that it shouldn’t be engaged in casually. I lost my faith a few years ago about the same time I started learning game. It was very distressing trying to reconcile two world… Read more »

NMH
NMH
9 years ago

This was absolutely brilliant, Rollo. If you have more to say, lets hear it.

Sluttiness bothers me some but its when they have physical evidence of this (genital herpes; ie, a woman has it, a man does not) that makes it rough to deal with. Most women cant possibly understand that her SMV drops due to herpes if she is a strong snowflaker, making it a minefield of an issue.

AlphaWhiskey
AlphaWhiskey
9 years ago

“It’s my contention that the Slut Paradox isn’t a numbers game so much as it’s an Alpha impact game.” Bingo. My last LTR was a HB8.5 that ran through a string of betas (including a husband) for most of her life. I had to drop her as she wanted to return to religion, and thus marriage and kids and the like, asap. She was very intelligent as well and I think I was the first person that was ever able to dominate her intellectually. Anyway, here it is 4-5 months later and I’m still getting texts from her randomly that… Read more »

jack
jack
9 years ago

You are correct – alpha impact is the real issue. The number of previous lovers is, in effect, a coefficient that predicts the likelihood of alpha impact. Women almost NEVER make the “mistake” of having sex with a good man who is not alpha enough. Most women, especially those who are just having “a little fun” will screen for alpha, at the expense of character. Although: Perhaps a “relatively chaste” girl with only one or two previous lovers may have a higher chance of alpha impact, since only two men made it through her screening process. This explains the religious… Read more »

Doug1
Doug1
9 years ago

Rollo–

As I said over at Susan’s HUS, I think it’s both alpha impact, if she has more than a ONS but real love fling with one, and/or numbers. Either will ruin most girls’ ability/tendency to deeply bond with a subsequent greater beta.

Either might also ruin most girls’ ability/tendency to deeply bond with an alpha, if he isn’t easily the most standout alpha she’s ever had extended periods of sex with.

caRIOca
caRIOca
9 years ago

Bingo again! One alpha causes much more damage than a platoon of betas. A 40 beta cocks experienced girl heart’s have 40 erasable names, while a single alpha cock leaves a perpetual tattoo. If you are alpha and fuck a 40 beta-cocked chick, she will believe that you are the greatest on Earth, due her statistical authority on the subject of men. In this POV, being perceived as alpha by a high-number slut (male issues authority) may offer a unique pleasure for our narcissistic egos. Ps. I’m fucking a 40 cock young girl. Yeah, this huge number is real! And… Read more »

jynxi
jynxi
9 years ago

Gentlemen, I believe the number count is extremely important as it goes to the woman’s character and integrity. Remember, this is the woman whom you may want to raise your children some day. A woman who’s had maybe 5 LTR’s during her quest to seek out a suitable mate is not the same woman who’s had 25 ONS’s and counting. The later is usually a mentally unstable and self-destructive hussy. Of course always beaming with a bright sunny smile to cover the soulless rotten innards. The coping remedy of choice is usually their drug of choice as life is not… Read more »

caRIOca
caRIOca
9 years ago
Reply to  jynxi

The Myth of the “Quality” Woman:

http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/09/14/afc-social-conventions/

Brian
Brian
9 years ago

If taking the red pill of starting to learn about game begins to open the eyes of some men to gradually see the true nature of reality (that most people including basically all women are Predictably Irrational “Nucking Futs” head cases), then why are many game blogs (a bunch of whom bang sluts then turn around and try to shame sluts) and the moralistic mass-media currently increasing their self-righteous assult against women sluts and alpha males as being the ones who should be suppressed? Probably because the majority are feminized/beta. I don’t have problems with sluts (female or male). PUA’s… Read more »

caRIOca
caRIOca
9 years ago
Reply to  Brian

The slut paradox is a red pill hard to swallow. We, the alpha wannabes, will fight with our white knights swords to defend the “pure HQ One-itis”, which is one of the most resistant beta fairy tale myths.
“A genuine Alpha man is not going to beta-man-b*tch about sluts.” Overcome this beta weakness is a challenge for me.

Great comment, it could be a blog post.

Ps. Who’s “G”?

Brian
Brian
9 years ago
Reply to  caRIOca

Thanks caRIOca.
The G (International Playboy) is thegmanifesto blog. Everyone has their own unique style. I’ve also read comments by G on other blogs and I have liked how he is encouraging to other up and coming G’s.
You’re going right. Stay strong and keep having fun caRIOca.

Good Luck Chuck
Good Luck Chuck
9 years ago

The thing that bothers me about some of these comments is the attitude of acceptance that I am hearing regarding the sexual habits of women.

Fact of the matter is that just about any chick who has ridden the carousel is damaged goods. I know, I know, that’s basically ALL women these days. You have grown up being forced to accept it, but that doesn’t mean that it’s right or healthy.

Doesn’t matter if the cocks were “alpha” or not…..the more dick she’s had the less value she is able to place on any one man.

T. All.
T. All.
9 years ago

How on earth would there be any truth to that? Women with a sex life is damaged goods? That’s not a fact, it’s just a silly egoist misogynist notion.
I don’t recall any studies showing that women get ‘damaged’ by having sex. Quite the contrary, it’s widely stated to be healthy in many aspects. Breeding several childs can be extremely unhealthy though.
People have got to realize we are billions of people, all with sexual needs, that can’t be sheltered and isolated to just a single, ‘special’ person through their whole life.

Brian
Brian
9 years ago

To answer the question of would I marry a woman who did not enthusiastically want to and enjoy having s*x ? No. Years ago beta-society would have told me to sacrifice myself and be miserable. I have decided to never get married. I prioritize myself (cover your eyes any beta-readers of a Game blog), I value s*xuality (not to type complete words so any beta-commenters go into a tizzy), if she does not want to with me then I don’t want to be with her and I would just move onto the next woman who does. I like the picture,… Read more »

caRIOca
caRIOca
9 years ago
Reply to  Brian

Betas, be shocked! This is the most alpha comment ever.

“Do you ever eat off of a fork that more people have eaten off of than any number of rides a woman you are with has ever taken, surely you have. There is not nor ever will be a completely pure human being in reality.”

“I have a positive attitude and I can accept reality. It’s probably better to: Don’t ask/Don’t tell.”

I’ll take it to life.

Good Luck Chuck
Good Luck Chuck
9 years ago

I also adopt the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy but that is only because women have too much incentive to lie about their sexual past. For casual sex I could care less how many men she’s fucked, but if I am going to invest time in a relationship you better believe I am making judgments based upon clues about her sexual past. Ignoring a woman’s sexual past doesn’t make you any more “alpha”. There is a reason why men have evolved to sniff out slut clues and are turned off by women who display them, and finding the ability to… Read more »

J.M
J.M
9 years ago

“Ignoring a woman’s sexual past doesn’t make you any more “alpha”. There is a reason why men have evolved to sniff out slut clues and are turned off by women who display them, and finding the ability to rise above that might increase your pool of prospects, but it also increases the likelihood of you getting cheated on or even worse getting stuck raising another man’s kid.” Thank you Chuck finally some manly advice and commentary. Other commenters think they are überalpha but they sound like feminists beta cuckolds straight from the Radical sociology classroom with their “non-judgemental” vision of… Read more »

Brian
Brian
9 years ago

Good evening JM. That was kind to agree with someones commentary. One thing I will mention because above I said I am not judgmental is that I was brought up with strict religion and it ruined my youth, so I am now more easy-going to myself and others. I have never been, am not, nor ever will be married, so I never had and do not have a wife or even a girlfriend to cheat on me, and I have no children, and I do not financially support ANY child especially another mans, so that would be a false accusation… Read more »

J.M
J.M
9 years ago

@Brian
Hahaha, not directed at anyone specifically but if you think it´s with you, be my guest.

Brian
Brian
9 years ago

@ JM
Alright. Just in case it was (not that I care anyways or ever take comments on any blog personally). I was a guest last night and that was enough, now it’s time to move on. Good luck. Peace out.

Mike
9 years ago

I’m starting to feel pretty good for doing all my gaming and then marrying a virgin, whom I’m turning into a slut. Full possession, and no worries.

As for to many, I think it is the question of alpha full on. I’ve been with women who where with a string of betas prior.

But I was once with a woman who had just been in a full blow gang session with 5 marines at once. Consider that chick forever ruined.

Jean-Luc LeGame
9 years ago

This reminds me of an ex-girlfriend. She complained a ton about her ex when we first got together, and I’m pretty certain she cheated on me with him while we were together, then after I broke up with her she got back with him. Beware of any girl that complains a lot about an ex-boyfriend when you first get together. It means 1)he treated her badly or with indifference, which could indicate alpha, and 2) it means she’s still thinking about him. In the early days of the relationship, she should be completely enamored by YOU and not at all… Read more »

xsplat
9 years ago

In the early days of the relationship, she should be completely enamored by YOU and not at all thinking about an ex. Ideally, I suppose. But it’s no sign of disrespect if you don’t immediately eclipse her past. It’s going to happen that a girl is still crushing on a guy when you first start fucking her. It’s going to happen again and again, because it’s a common state of affairs for women. Don’t sweat it. After a few weeks or a month she’ll have had some time to bond to you. If that bonding doesn’t happen, then you can… Read more »

trackback
9 years ago

[…] a woman being as close to pseudo-virginity as is socially manageable. I touched on this briefly in The Slut Paradox, and I do understand the evolved psychology behind […]

trackback
9 years ago

[…] The only gender concerned with being perceived as a slut is women. Once again, feminine primacy. Every man loves a slut, he just wants her to be HIS slut. The importance is less about his perception of her being a slut […]

T. All.
T. All.
9 years ago

What bothers me about most of these comments is that they cling on to the same archaic, possessive fantasies and reactionary structures. Isn’t this issue just a social construct that’s overrun by petty misogynists and property-obsessed? Frankly. I’m sick of the whole “she’s a slut if she has x dicks, likes xx…” etc.. There’s just no balance or logic to it. That whole ‘game’ seems to be centered around discouraging and excluding non-alphas from getting sexually pleasured or rewarded. Securing the gold and honnies for the dominant male alone. Bullshit. I really don’t bother following that so-called game altogether (even… Read more »

Sonofanalpha
Sonofanalpha
8 years ago

My dad owned my mom… Even after diabetes took the sex all away. He alpha -glamored her with his heart.

thebloggerssoliloquy
8 years ago

I like this post man, I’ve always thought about this, but how many guys shes been with before has never really bothered me as long as she’s fully aware that I’m one cool arse motherfucker. Luckily for me though, I became aware of this whole Don Juan thing when I was a young teen, and now, what I’ve found is that as long as you’re enjoying the time you spend with her there’s no point worrying about that stuff. (Although it does make for interesting convo when you’re screening a girl). *Just came across this blog when I was looking… Read more »

trackback

[…] Security comes in a lot of different forms; financial, emotional, familial, etc. When a woman has established a base line of security for herself in one of these forms, other forms take precedent. So for a woman to make herself (or be by default) more or less financially independent, her impetus will be to find a guy who satisfies that hypergamic need of Alpha dominance and sexual prowess. Thus the hawt guy, with Alpha swagger outclasses the boring beta with equitable wealth to her own. Even a beta of higher socioeconomic status wont stimulate a woman who can comparatively… Read more »

The.Anonymous.Us3r
The.Anonymous.Us3r
8 years ago

Good Luck Chuck summed up THE fundamental issue rather pithily. Doesn’t matter if the cocks were “alpha” or not…..the more dick she’s had the less value she is able to place on any one man. Doug1 also reiterates and expounds upon this dilemma. As I said over at Susan’s HUS, I think it’s both alpha impact, if she has more than a ONS but real love fling with one, and/or numbers. Either will ruin most girls’ ability/tendency to deeply bond with a subsequent greater beta. Either might also ruin most girls’ ability/tendency to deeply bond with an alpha, if he… Read more »

guest
guest
8 years ago

Isnt it more about the relation between a mans SMP value and the value of the men a woman has slept with? If the guy is a 6 and the girl has had 10 men, all of them also 6s, the latest guy is just another 6, easily gotten easily discarded. But if the guy is above that level hes special.

Then again, its not like this helps betas much as women generally give it up to alphas.

Molly
8 years ago

I mostly like the more masculine guys, but when they move on, I do feel like another slice of my cake has gone.

Mr Cabbage
Mr Cabbage
8 years ago

I don’t understand all of the terminology in the discussion above, but I understand the general points. Personally, I have had the experience in the article – when dating a woman at first, her sexual past is less important. Then, when I have her, it becomes important to know exactly what kind of woman I am with. And I realise that she is not worth staying with, or taking up my time and effort and deserving anything from me, if she has had casual sex with many men in the past. I realise that if she has had casual sex… Read more »

trackback
8 years ago

[…] an outright manipulation, I’d argue that in some ways hypergamy intensifies that neurosis. Alpha Widows know all too well the languishing associated with pining for the Alpha that got away – […]

trackback
8 years ago

[…] for the man her looks, personal conditions and societal influences allowed her to consolidate on (Alpha Widows). Remember, all of this occurs within the framework of the varying personal limitations (or […]

trackback
8 years ago

[…] This is tough on a guy sold on idealistic notions that his virgin bride is awaiting him somewhere in the world. That may be a bit binary for all but the most white knight of guys, but by order of degree, and with a measured prudence, I think it’s important for men to disabuse themselves of finding the virgin slut, who’ll only be his virgin slut. […]

wordstheymeanthings
8 years ago

In response to A.B. Dada January 6th, 2012 at 12:07 pm Women never say no to you? Really, are they conscious? Or do you just date women who have no respect for themselves? Dating has one purpose, finding someone who you want to have in your life when both of you grow old, together. Dating a bunch of women just to satisfy your own selfish desires is like test driving a bunch of cars and later taking the bus home alone because you couldn’t make up your mind which one to buy. In case you all haven’t noticed that is… Read more »

trackback
8 years ago

[…] all this gets interesting is in considering the Alpha Widow […]

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[…] becomes unimportant, so daughters can go off and chase after The Feminist Merit Badge and be on the Slut Carousel with impunity, yet the sons get chided for not manning-up and marrying the sluts. The State institutes divorce […]

women are not property, property is theft
women are not property, property is theft
8 years ago

Women are not property that you own. You think your dicks are God’s gift to women to give as widely as possible but at the same time conceptualize the ideal woman as a sexually naive virgin. There is one reason chauvinists prefer inexperienced women: they are easier to control and mistreat. This is for lack of reference point of what constitutes a healthy and happy relationship.
I bet the men who subscribe to the drivel written here are the kind of men who find rape jokes funny and think a woman’s place is in the kitchen.
Misogynistic fucks.

Sexpert
Sexpert
8 years ago

“DICE: I suppose the next question would be, “How do you suppose she got that way?” Its possible she got that way by practicing on him. Sex is a give and take exchange between loving couples. There’s a learning curve for each individual body. If you think you know what “women like” or “men like” in bed, think again. Every individual body is different. What works for one, might or might not work for another. That’s why each couples’ sexual life is unique. Rhythm, timing, technique, it all matters and it all differs from one to the next. Cunnilingus and… Read more »

trackback

[…] waiting for my nonverbal signs of granted permission.". Here's what men are saying. You are an alpha widow. To summarize, it's amusing to us that you are comparing the new guy to an alpha who obviously […]

trackback
7 years ago

[…] love (oxytocin effect) and resents sex (because her use of it has betrayed her). She is also an alpha widow – the theory that "gina tingles" last a lifetime and even though women were mistreated by […]

LittleWolf
LittleWolf
7 years ago

Woo. Christian good girl who was corrupted by abuse, then later an Alpha type, a string of unrequited loves and now happy with a (now ex) virgin Beta. At first he was intimidated by my sexual appetite but is warming to it. I understand his insecurity having been a virgin and all. Still, I won’t roll the red carpet out for just anyone. As desperate as I was to feel wanted, there are still things I have reserved for him. Things I’ve said I will try at least once, that I genuinely would never ever do except for with him… Read more »

trackback

[…] being strikingly similar, I was to become his replacement for her.  Unfortunately for her, she was all used up by the time her and I met, not only sexually, but emotionally as well which caused me to decide that she was unqualified for any serious investment on my part.  […]

Clinton
Clinton
7 years ago

Just want a good time

Alberto
7 years ago

Proud to be MGTOW Men !!!! Just me ,my BMW 328i and my German Shepard – my two best friends !! Thank God every day for my wisdom to stay single . Thank you Lord and thank to my awesome Farther mostly . My Dad is amazing guy .Self made rich .
I never ,never go on a date with my BMW ,not stupid you know . Lots of chicks ,lots .

Cheers from Torino ,Italy .

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[…] 2 http://therationalmale.com/2012/01/06/the-slut-paradox/ […]

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[…] written several essays regarding the dynamics of the Alpha Widow, but at no other phase of a woman’s life is she more prone to mourning a prior Alpha lover […]

Eric Scott
Eric Scott
7 years ago

“the god’s have smiled upon him with the sexual favors of a woman” ?

lol who wrote this nonsense. the viewpoint is insanely biased and goes past the point.

Tarnished
7 years ago

“DICE: She suck a good dick?

GUY: (laughing) Ohhh yeah,..heheh,..

DICE: I suppose the next question would be, “How do you suppose she got that way?” ”

I’m perpetually confused by this statement, and others like it. Hoping you can give me some insight, RM.

Why does it seem that a significant number of men assume that if a woman is good at blowjobs/sex in general, that she must have previously been with a man before?

Paulus2014
6 years ago

Eat pussy is a job for impotent men, beta males (loosers), cuckolds and lesbians (dykes,mainly). Alpha males don´t eat pussy.

Tarnished
6 years ago
Reply to  Paulus2014

Guess it’s a very good thing my lover isn’t an alpha then…lol. If he didn’t give oral sex to me, I wouldn’t do it for him either, but luckily one of our favorite positions is 69ing. I’ll never understand why some people believe giving their partners pleasure is somehow “inferior”. It’s nonsensical.

Cvett84@yahoo.com
Cvett84@yahoo.com
6 years ago

Yes! I would marry a slut! Only because what I’m married to now isn’t worth the time and effort. I always loved sex and any forms of sex. What I have now is nothing and she refused to change. My wife is an attractive lady but very conservative and a prude. It be great to have a slut wffe, she could have a girlfriend or a boyfriend as long as I got my share.

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[…] Alpha Widow or carousel riding wife-to-be may then convince herself that she in fact actually sees an Alpha […]

b
b
6 years ago

only men with inferiority complexes would inflict judgements on a girl if their sexaully attracted to them in the first place they are contridicting themselves only the present matters there is no past or future in love and sex .

alpha female .

Beta Wolfe Woman
Beta Wolfe Woman
6 years ago

The guy who says real men don’t eat pussy- you are single aren’t you? You tell people it’s because you have high standards, but in reality the women keep leaving after a few times in bed because selfish sex is terrible and a sign of an insecure beta loser with an inferiority complex. Not sexy.

RealityCheck
RealityCheck
6 years ago

What else is knew these days?

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[…] way to your inner wildness. Let yourself go – do not have sexual inhibitions. High-value men want sluts. If you cannot surrender your sexuality completely to your man, you will be alone or coupled and […]

rugby11ljh
rugby11ljh
6 years ago

To oppose is to support.

Joseph de Victoria
Joseph de Victoria
5 years ago

Well, after reading your lengthy discourse of your idea as the best (safe-proof) way to find the right woman I undestand why you are not a married man – at least when you were writing this discourse. At my age, now past my 84th birthday I strongly suspect that there is a high probability that there is no woman – at least in this country – that will meet your listed expectations. As far as the classifiacation of the women “types” I cab tell you that by personal experience with as mant number of women I have met in the… Read more »

Josh
Josh
5 years ago

As a happily married man myself with two beautiful children, i can not agree more with you Joseph. Most the rubbish discussed in this blog is simply misguided if not offensive to the dating ‘game’. Rather than waste countless years of your lives pretending their’s some grand elusive perfect slut ready to do your bidding at your whim and yours only, you’d do better to reflect on your own misguided beliefs and improve your own being. Then when that special someone comes along, you’ll be the best person you can be. You’ll know they are the one and they will… Read more »

redlight
redlight
5 years ago

The marriage situation in the early 50’s was a lot different than now that the FI has conquered the western world. Glad you were married in the good years. As to Josh’s special someone/they are the one/true love, given there is a 50% divorce rate, and a large number of unhappy marriages, why did true love fail?

kfg
kfg
5 years ago

“I undestand why you are not a married man – at least when you were writing this discourse.” We are amused. ” . . . the Old Commodore Hotel . . .” . . . was above Grand Central Terminal, that’s why it was part of what they called Terminal City. ” . . . professional fields such as Mudicine . . .” And boy can you fling it, but thank you for your perspective on what women want, purportedly gained from 1950’s whores. Should I ever wish to chat up a 1950’s whore again I’ll bear it in mind.… Read more »

TheKnownTruth
TheKnownTruth
5 years ago

It is just too bad that the good old fashioned women are all gone since Most of the women of today are very Pathetic.

aguilayserpiente
5 years ago

The competitor blog, “Chateau,” already summarized what Warren Farrel wrote in “Why Men are the Way They Are,” men are just financial pawns for women, women will sell a man out for a man with more money, and women will never love men the way men want to be loved. The cock carousel is attractive women shopping and up grading to the next most financially and sexually attractive male (who dump the women). 70% of Men 18-35 do not marry anymore. Expect to see more beta chumps married to smoking hot women (who are fucking dudes behind their backs). Go… Read more »

trackback
5 years ago

Will an Indian guy marry a girl after knowing that she had some physical relations with her ex bf?

Beta men will say yes. Alpha men will say no. > This is the Slut Paradox that vexes contemporary man; what number of prior lovers can a woman have that would be acceptable for you? Seven? Five? How many hobby horses should there be on the cock carousel…

IAlwaysTellTheTruth
IAlwaysTellTheTruth
5 years ago

It is very sad that Sluts are everywhere these days which is a very Excellent Reason why many of us Good men are still Single today and always will be.

Travis F
Travis F
5 years ago

Yes , and this is the deeper problem…. Yes, women “date up” and men date down for the most part. Women date UP because they can. Because men date down and or are willing to date down… women have no shortage of men who are out of their league. Of course!! a man will fuck a woman who he sees as below him. She has blood running through her veins and wetness between her legs. That’s all he needs, however he already knows from the start that she doesn’t make the cut. This dynamic causes women to experience a man… Read more »

Caroline
Caroline
4 years ago

A.B. Dada looks like a fatter, creepier version of Severus Snape and that’s saying a lot. The kind of man fathers warn their daughters to stay away from for fear they’ll ending up dead in a ditch somewhere. I need to take a shower now after reading some of his posts. Oh, and this entire post and site is odious, ridiculous and simultaneously comical. You all sound like a bunch of insecure, bitter, looney tunes, sitting here labeling women and neatly placing them into categories. Blech. Get a life. There’s a reason none of you can hold down a relationship.… Read more »

The Very Truth Of All
The Very Truth Of All
4 years ago

Most women nowadays are useless, worthless, low life’s, and pathetic losers which the women of years ago really did put these women today to real shame.

Joe
Joe
4 years ago

*You know a woman likes you when she is sucking your cock and swallowing your jizz*

Michael Hanna
Michael Hanna
4 years ago

Strawman! If a married Christian woman believes sex is immoral, then she never read the Bible. Paul said “the marriage bed is undefiled”, meaning that sex acts within the sanctity of marriage has essentially no boundaries; except that it must be the husband and wife participating only.

Omega Man
Omega Man
4 years ago

“microchimerism.” google that.

they vagina is self-cleaning; so without any help, all that previous semen (DNA) just leaks out eventually.

but you can find embedded male cells in her make-up that are NOT identical to her son (if she had one). but where did that male DNA come from…???

Foolishly dating Millennial sluts
Foolishly dating Millennial sluts
4 years ago

Nobody here, NOBODY, has brought about the spiritual ramifications of sexual intercourse. Every sexual encounter that a woman has leaves behind a residual, spiritual energy. I’m an older guy who is very spiritually cognizant. I recently made the decision to pursue a much younger woman. Getting her in bed was easy (beyond easy to my dismay). On our first “date” we took a drive in the mountains. Within minutes we were in the back seat and I was going down on her. When I inserted my finger during foreplay, I was hit with an intense, residual sexual signature from her… Read more »

SFC Ton
4 years ago

Eating pussy is for chicks and bitches

Foolishly dating Millennial sluts
Foolishly dating Millennial sluts
4 years ago

How eloquent. The future of the planet is secured knowing such wisdom exists in modern “men”.

Real Honest Truth
Real Honest Truth
4 years ago

Sluts are everywhere nowadays and it is getting Worse.

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[…] refuse to marry any woman who has had prior sexual partners because, and I’ll say it again, an alpha widow never forgets. If you ignore this red flag, you are gambling with your […]

Pathetic Women Everywhere Nowadays
Pathetic Women Everywhere Nowadays
4 years ago

These type of low life loser women are only good for spreading their legs for all kinds of different men and all kinds of different women nowadays as well.

If she's had 100 guys and chooses me
If she's had 100 guys and chooses me
4 years ago

then I’m flattered.

I just don’t want a disease.

Garbage Is Everywhere
Garbage Is Everywhere
4 years ago

Well i sure hope that garbage pickup comes very soon.

Too Bad Their All Gone
Too Bad Their All Gone
3 years ago

Whatever happened to the real good old fashioned ladies that we once had?

theasdgamer
3 years ago

@Gone

Gone to graveyards every one.

D
D
9 months ago

Actually, I didn’t get past the joke.

I kept wondering how he would know it was a good blowjob.

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