Women in Love

Men believe that love matters for the sake of it. Women love opportunistically.

Today’s pull quote comes from Xpat Ranting’s blog. The discourse there is brief, but insightful:

I really, really, really hope the myth that girls are the hopeless romantics gets kicked to the curb ASAP. Everyone needs to realize that men are the “romantics pretending to be realists” and women; vice versa

I found this particularly thought provoking – Men are the romantics forced to be the realists, while women are the realists using romanticisms to effect their imperatives (hypergamy). This is a heaping mouthful of cruel reality to swallow, and dovetails nicely into the sixth Iron Rule of Tomassi:

Iron Rule of Tomassi #6
Women are utterly incapable of loving a man in the way that a man expects to be loved.

In its simplicity this speaks volumes about about the condition of Men. It accurately expresses a pervasive nihilism that Men must either confront and accept, or be driven insane in denial for the rest of their lives when they fail to come to terms with the disillusionment.

Women are incapable of loving men in a way that a man idealizes is possible, in a way he thinks she should be capable of.

In the same respect that women cannot appreciate the sacrifices men are expected to make in order to facilitate their imperatives, women can’t actualize how a man would have himself loved by her. It is not the natural state of women, and the moment he attempts to explain his ideal love, that’s the point at which his idealization becomes her obligation. Our girlfriends, our wives, daughters and even our mothers are all incapable of this idealized love. As nice as it would be to relax, trust and be vulnerable, upfront, rational and open, the great abyss is still the lack of an ability for women to love Men as Men would like them to.

For the plugged-in beta, this aspect of ‘awakening’ is very difficult to confront. Even in the face of constant, often traumatic, controversions to what a man hopes will be his reward for living up to qualifying for a woman’s love and intimacy, he’ll still hold onto that Disneyesque ideal.

It’s very important to understand that this love archetype is an artifact from our earliest feminized conditioning. It’s much healthier to accept that it isn’t possible and live within that framework. If she’s there, she’s there, if not, oh well. She’s not incapable of love in the way she defines it, she’s incapable of love as you would have it. She doesn’t lack the capacity for connection and emotional investment, she lacks the capacity for the connection you think would ideally suit you.

The resulting love that defines a long-term couple’s relationship is the result of coming to an understanding of this impossibility and re-imagining what it should be for Men. Men have been, and should be, the more dominant gender, not because of some imagined divine right or physical prowess, but because on some rudimentary psychological level we ought to realized that a woman’s love is contingent upon our capacity to maintain that love in spite of a woman’s hypergamy. By order of degrees, hypergamy will define who a woman loves and who she will not, depending upon her own opportunities and capacity to attract it.

Published by Rollo Tomassi

Author of The Rational Male and The Rational Male, Preventive Medicine

226 comments on “Women in Love

  1. I’m so pleased to see how swimmingly your translations of ancient medieval texts by isolated monks who’d never had any contact with women into modern English is going. Top notch, you really got the bitter dehumanization of women and spiteful generalizations down pat.

  2. Jane,

    So glad to hear you are not like them. And you must know so many more women so much like yourself. Excellent!

    What is the divorce rate in the country you live in?

  3. Men who are too pathetic to get women and turn t around to blame their shitty attitudes on women. Classic. Pathetic.

  4. Interesting and very true.

    I think the key is that men are more spiritual and rational and women more emotional and earthly.

    This explains exactly why ‘men are the “romantics pretending to be realists” and women; vice versa’.

    ‘Realism’ is earthly, practical. Women are more in tune with what is physically necessary. Men are more in tune with what is desirable.

    Love is a function of the Spiritual, where all love comes from.

    Men are in the world to give love, not to receive it. The only way a man can receive love is by being with the Spirit. The only way he can give love is by getting it from the Source first.

    Women cannot love (or at any rate have a much lower capacity for it), all they can do is emotionally respond to stimuli. If they are loved (including what that practically entails), a woman can create good feelings, both for herself and her man.

    The difficulty these days is that our society is now degenerated, that many women are severely traumatized by the time they grow up. Feminism obviously incredibly damages any female capacity.

    As a result, it is very, very difficult to love them so much that one can break through the trauma and reestablish contact with the womans core.

  5. I have been reading quite a few people over on /r/theredpill trying to throw up the pill and plug back in rather than reject the Disney illusion.

    These are [Cyphers](http://therationalmale.com/2013/05/29/artificial-joy/) but this bit of scripture brought it home to me from John 6:60.

    >Many therefore of his disciples, when they had heard this, said, This is hard teaching, who can hear it…. He said unto them, Doth this offend you….the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life. 64But there are some of you that believe not…From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him.

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  7. idk but i think there may be a difference to how some women love and what others need from a man…i admit im a very, very insecure woman, extremely because of abuse etc. i think most of us women are very insecure at a deep level but some more than others because of abuse. if u haven’t had love or decency…u need a man to really emotionally connect w/. not that he’s gonna hold ur hand for every little thing but he needs to be understanding when u have deeper needs than the average woman….the average woman may really crave the “bad boy” and i admit i also like the bad boy, but his testosterone, or just how he’s the opposite of my femininity, its intriguing and its exciting….a woman wants the opposite of herself, and a man wants the opposite of himself…we dont need to be interchangeable at all…but many times i get the feeling that being alpha means u have to be mean and very aloof.

    perhaps for most women who’re not abused or traumatized? yes in this country lots of women are very spoiled and need to be put in their place, however i have met men who take the caricature of alpha to mean they can act like cavemen w/ no true caring of the woman’s feelings taken into account. i myself need lots of care and some men out there who think they’re alpha really are just jerks, and dont realize that women are more emotional than they are, and INSECURE. sometimes i feel as if i always need to know if a man loves me every day! im thinking “he loved me yesterday, but will he still love me tomorrow?” and so there’s my “shit-test”…is it possible that women “shit-test” because we just need to know if the guy loves us since we haven’t had consistent love and don’t truly love ourselves? well…i guess i can only say that for women like me, “needy” women (i dont act needy though, at least anymore, i’ve learned me lessons). perhaps “regular” women who have been coddled all her life really needs an aloof man to keep her interested….but i definitely need a man to be there for me…

    the way i love a man is wanting to help him in every way, especially emotionally…i really need someone i can talk to about everything and who accepts me for me. an “aloof” man is only gonna keep me at arms length and that will make me feel very unloved. i think SOME women can love a man the way he really needs…that is if she herself is appreciative of the love she gets and is an unselfish person, a giver…i dont think there are many women out there who are givers especially in this country….so i do understand this post, however…there are women out there who want to give as much as they can get and find pleasure in it. its a wonderful feeling to give and make someone else happy, because u feel that void inside and now how it feels to be unloved and dont want anyone else to feel that either…except i know im a weirdo when i say this, especially for being a woman….

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  13. I feel compelled to respond. It’s funny as in strange: I fell in love at age 23 with my husband’s intellect. No physical attraction whatsoever but Momma said that was normal. So I married him. I gave in to his every request and fantasy, trying to be the perfect wife in God’s eyes. But when the violence entered, i shuddered, woke up 27 years later, heading for divorce. I want my freedom. I want to respect, appreciate, and trust men but I will never again believe in love. It is a lie, I thought. But after reading your article, I know now- we just had different definitions of love. I may have been opportunistic at 23 without realizing it; but at 51, I am not looking for a genius- just a man who shares my idea of what a romantic relationship is. It’s so hard to define and yet now I would call it loving for the sake of loving- something you say only men can percieve. Thank you for letting me share.

  14. People….it’s called communication, regardless of what the expectation is Damn, why has a nation become so focused on being lazy.

  15. corsicanlulu
    September 29th, 2014 at 6:53 pm

    The only way you are going to get what you need/want is to find a worthy man and surrender to him. The first is very difficult. For you the second may be near impossible. It is not in a woman’s nature to surrender and the abuse you have suffered multiplies the difficulty.

    What may work for you is to find a woman and a man willing to love you. The woman may give you enough security for you to surrender. Those kinds of relationships tend to be unstable. They are VERY rewarding while they last.

    I knew this lesbian and her girlfriend once…..

  16. This entire theory is of course complete bullshit, which I’m sure you’ve heard about a trillion times. Generalizing the capacity to love of an entire gender based on your bigoted, absolutely unverifiable presumptions is absurd. But carry on. It’s interesting to see how men who are extremely threatened by women that are more intelligent, powerful, and are inherently stronger and better looking than them behave and think.

    You are not capable of fathoming anyone else’s capacity to love. Not one single other human being on this earth are you capable of making this claim about, much less all people on earth. Your grandiose delusions about yourself and all males are riveting to be sure, but only for their sheer lack of depth, logic, and basic reasoning. It’s like reading the musings of the average 9 year old about things like organic biochemistry. You get a pat on the head for trying, but no cookie because you certainly didn’t nail it.

  17. “men who are extremely threatened by women that are more intelligent, powerful, and are inherently stronger and better looking than them”

    Just out of curiosity, are you interested in men who are less intelligent, less powerful, weaker and worse looking than yourself?

  18. I don’t understand. This is just rambling. There are no examples of how a man needs to be loved, or how women are incapable. He posits a theory and then provides absolutely no proof.

  19. I have never seen a man as callous, aloof and cruel, as the average woman. They are truly empty inside but only feign being otherwise. They only play the mythical, idealized woman. That IS the essence of the nasty Scam. We all fell for it unfortunately.

  20. Tony232
    February 16th, 2015 at 8:48 pm

    If she thinks you are the best and you can get her to surrender – women can be very pleasant. Enjoyable even. But it will require a LOT of training.

    Getting women to acknowledge their own nature is very difficult. They don’t like it. Well the vast majority don’t.

  21. There seem to be plenty of women on here commenting with the usual “rant” (must be fresh out of the Women’s Studies classes). If they actually took the time to read the article (and the series linked throughout the comments section), then they would find that the whole dynamic is explained in the series (not just in this one article).

    For all of the remarked “intelligence” by these women, they need to sign up for the second round of a reading comprehension course. Either that, or it’s easier to spout off about what the FI has been feeding them for so many years. I can’t remember when it became a crime to disagree with someone.

    Why do women go to such lengths not only to disagree but to show their true identity (fangs, claws and colorful language) when things don’t pan out the way they believe they should have from the start?

    I’ll give you a little help. The article actually put some of the blame on men for expecting women to love them in a certain way – but many of you women missed it because you were too busy looking to hang men on everything (as usual). Men must take all of the blame (as taught in your Women’s Studies courses or see any program on TV, today).

    Start holding some of your female counterparts accountable (You all did want equality, right?). Being responsible and being held accountable is part of that deal.

  22. The Complete Neurotic’s Notebook (1981)

    No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved.


    Did I just break your post ?

    I am saying:
    I agree with quite some stuff you say.
    Here however I’m not sure.

    Do we *need* women ?
    Not sure…

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  24. Women are incapable of unconditional love? God, what is wrong with you people?

    And what? You think men are? Nope. Definitely not in my previous experiences. My ex bf of 5 years who made it seem like we would be together for life and get married left me when things got financially difficult like it was nothing. A complete contradiction to everything he said while we were together. If that’s not conditional, then I don’t know what is.

    I date women now because I’m Bisexual. I could go both ways, but I’m making the choice to date women exclusively from this point on.

  25. Reblogged this on Informess and commented:
    Astounding extrapolation of what I have always suspected. No wonder, Paul says that Woman was created for man and goes ahead to state the role and expectations of the man in this case. That he should love the woman not vise versa as the reverse is IMPOSSIBLE. A woman will weight a man against other males around on a number of practicalities based on his potential. She will then proceed to the highest bidder!!! Tell me am wrong.

    Here is the dramatic conundrum. In event her idealized position of the man she settled for does not materialize, she will be the first to call of the game and pick another dice with the potential. A woman therefore can leave a string of longing lovers whose ideals never came close to her expectations even though their love was immense and real. Who cares- women would easily remark when a man states how helplessly in love he is to her!

  26. I would also recomand a book by Nedjma (a pseudonim) , “forbidden fruit” to see how a woman loves. She gives in to a man with 10 years or so older than her, a womanazer and also a man who has status. She stays with him for 10 years, time in which she knows he goes to other women as well. Also he doesn’t hide this. She endures this pain. The book is erotic and there is a scene where he kinda enslaves her and she is so lovingly accepting it… He puts burnt ashes into her mouth while she lays down at his feet. It burns her mouth but this is heaven for her…
    After 10 years he dumps her and her life is meaningless. 20 years pass by for her without feeling anything. After these yeaes he calls for her because he has terminal cancer and he says to her that she is the only woman he has ever loved. She knew that and shortly he dies in her arms. And she gets crazy…
    If this is not love, i don’t know what love is…

    1. Where can I find this book? There is nothing more scrubbed from history and narrative like this sort of woman’s story. Then pedants can smugly proclaim that they don’t exist.

  27. I see this more often now. Couples separating and the women treating their ex husbands like garbage. The former love is now a useful fool whom she can squeeze some money out of. Heading for the next adventure lurking around the corner as soon as she gets her week off from the children.

  28. As a side note to this love thing, it’s also pure gold to watch couple dynamics after reading some of the posts on this side.
    Especially related to the post called “burden of performance” its very clear, that men today really have to step up to maintain just an illusion of a happy marriage /relationship.
    And that many women simply just enjoy the ride with minimum of effort. Remember, she needs “me time” despite her having a part time job and him working full time to provide. Resulting in a husband looking out for the kids in the weekends and evenings because she really needs to get to the gym or simply have a break from the kids.

  29. This was a reply to Forge’s FR on his ex at work:

    “On your girl in her car. When you think you know what is up… PROVE it! Thats what guys who just get it do. You should have just gone over to the driver side, not the passenger side… And leaned in through the window and made out with her and then pulled her back into the office, the backseat or your place etc to isolate…”

    Seems like she was pulling Forge into her Frame. He basically followed her out even though he was well aware of what he was doing. Given her ice queen past and what would appear to be his desire to be done with her any physical contact would demonstrate to her that she was successful pulling him in.

    I can’t help but wonder after the small talk at her car if a simple neg followed by “I gotta roll. Going to “X” with some buddies. X could be a concert, the bar, gym, beach party, road trip or whatever. Sure go to the driver’s side of the car. Lean in close. Instead of a comment about hanging with buds after work end the convo by say “I have a date with that new girl in whatever department.” Let her know you’re hooking up later with another chica and it’s not her.

    Or just wave as you’re heading to your car. Why bother even talking to her? She seems like she made Forge’s life shitty in the past. I don’t know the whole story. I suppose there is something to be said by practicing and your learning being lifted by action/experience. Abundance mindset would say keep on trucking, no need to stop at that old (cold) watering hole.

  30. Nah women can love and accept certain flaws in men. My parents were married for 50 years and she stuck by him though illnees and financial ruin.

    Very thought provoking and I totally agree on the nature of women, however women can love, maybe not like a man, but as long as she sees in him certain traits that make her happy she will be there for him. Also, as people grow older, companionship and bond trumps all.


  31. man, all i can really say about this is i feel bad for every single person who commented thus far, seems like y’all got swindled out of a good relationship and now ya too mad to get back in the saddle. the key to a happy relationship is to date someone who likes being around you, independent of your attractiveness, wealth, or whatever. find someone who has everything in common with you, or if they don’t, they need to be willing to learn and tolerate a perspective other than their own. love is really hard work and relationships need to be checked and discussed between whoever is involved, it’s not something you can put on autopilot. you’re gonna make mistakes and you need to be mature enough to talk about your mistakes with your partner; it’s always gonna be like that because you ain’t a damn mind reader. instead of this catty “grr, all men are evil con artists/all women are unfeeling baby tanks” crap, you’ve probably just met the wrong people (lmao, really, you think you’re gonna find love in your 1 block neighborhood when there’s 8bill people in the world???) and if you want to try again, try to get with someone who you can chill with who’s easy to talk to and makes you laugh. if you don’ feel comfortable with farting around your partner or going to taco bell at midnight with them, it’s not gonna work. if they don’t wanna talk about your relationship problems and how to solve them, they’re a child and not fit for dating.

  32. A woman’s life can be best described as a computer that will always welcome an upgrade, obsolete software be damned.
    Just open your Whatsapp and see the high number of guys who put their GFs/spouses as their Display Pic (DP). Now browse the females how many have put their men as their DP? I personally got zero!
    Women can’t afford to be seen as taken. Their value at work and in social circles depend on their perceived availability. They need to keep their options open.they always move in a perpetual state of being “on the market”.
    Because they are!
    If a better sweeter deal comes along she will take it. Women don’t love. They can’t afford to. Those eggs are pushing them to mate only with the best, mating with anything less will be as catastrophic to their psyche as a man who spends a 100 grand on a worn out beaten-down car.
    The second most painful realisation after ‘Women Can’t Love’ is this:

    The man her eggs want is NOT the man her head wants.

    And the eggs usually score some big victories.(Remember how DNA testing of babies for partenity got massive opposition from women!)(Also how many times you heard a woman lament how she wanted to say no but her gina was dripping wet!)

    This all means the man she craves to get pregnant by is not the guy she wishes to settle down with. The qualities that make a good seed-giver are not the qualities that make a good family-man provider. And she knows.
    For a married woman the decision to get preg by another and get hubby to support that kid is not a moral wrong or right thing. Its pure biology. Women’s instinct is to push the species forward through mating with only the fittest (fittest as in best suited to adapt for survival).
    Men have to compete to get her,and even then its not over for the winner: his million sperms have to compete so a winner even among them will have exclusive honour to make a baby.only the very best will do. And even then its not over for that man because the woman will seldom put his pic on her DP and men will always view her woman as game.and she won’t think it a moral dilemma to saddle you with another man’s offspring because you can provide. Its been called the equivalent of Female on Male rape.

    Now why does my 3rd born have blue eyes and that big head that always looks out of place among my other kids? Could it be…. No it can’t!! Her aunties and grannies all say that kid looks like my long lost uncle who went to europe and was never heard from again. And anyways, it can’t be a conspiracy these ladies are keeping among themselves…or is it? Oh damn now my head is spinning…where is my Playstation…

  33. If this is really how you see women I feel your choices in women are to be blamed, not women over all. I’ve been with my current boyfriend for five years. We live together, we monoterily and emotionally support EACH OTHER. More often than not he is not the best at sweeping gestures of romance, but he takes care of me so I don’t need those nonsense gestures because he shows me in the way that really matters. To the other point saying that a woman’s “I love you” is not as meaningful as a mans I think you are just finding yourselves with shallow basic women who could barely survive on their own let alone care for another human and calling all of womenkind “lesser” for it.
    This whole thing seems like a forum to put women down.

  34. i’ll just leave this here to REPEAT what Rollo posted earlier:

    “Understand: People are locked into their own experiences.”

    some of the women posting seem very upset, angry, and emotional about what was posted. get over it… bc in-general, and UNLIKE your experiences, it rings true to (most) men.

    or you can post a picture of a homeless man standing roadside with his faithful wife by his side…

  35. Years back, after a failed LTR with a ‘ good girl ‘ whose virginity I took and who I swear truly loved me at some point and who I truly loved unconditionally : I came to the realisation of some of the brilliant revelations Rollo writes about.

    I remember meditating on the bible when I recalled the scripture :

    Ephesians 5 :33 “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

    It’s a man who is required to love the woman and the woman to respect him. In fact the whole of Ephesians 5:25-33 explains how a man aught to love his woman and never is a woman expected to love in return : but only to respect him. God knew best not to require such from a woman who could not.

  36. love is the great lie. Love cannot be given or received. You can only love yourself and resonate with a partner that loves themselves, this is the only way a loving relationship can be created. Stop searching for love and become love its self.

  37. Honestly during my ‘red pill awakening’ this and THIS alone was the MAIN reason I stopped idealizing girls and expecting the ‘perfect love’. BAR NONE. The above post was a personal realization years ago and is really key to literally understanding everything else that a man should understand about girls. Seriously, if a man is a blue pill slave and white kight and prone to too much ‘nice-ness’ and the guy is a complete mess with girls understanding the above will truly bring peace and clarity of mind.

  38. Alright.. welp, that’s it. I’m gonna start bonin dudes now. Who’s down? If we do it enough, it’ll catch on.

    LOL jk

    I agree w/ you completely though. In the relationships I’ve had, I’ve always felt like something at the core of how we felt for each other was missing. It always bothered me but I could never figure out exactly what it was but your article has both enlightened me and also slashed any hopes I had for a normal relationship. In this day and age, getting into any relationship with a woman seems far too dangerous. A simple argument could have your neighbor calling the police and in most states if the police show up, the man goes to jail, period. Also, if the relationship doesn’t work out, the man usually has WAY MORE invested into it and you just get destroyed.

    The human race is in a very sad state at the moment with no end to it in sight. I don’t think I’ll have kids.. why bring a life into this world that will have to come to terms with the realization that they will die and no longer exist. Cruel in my opinion. Not to mention all of the horrible and excrutiating pain some people have to suffer before death. Why do that to someone?

  39. Actually, it isn’t that women are unloving or unappreciative or not giving, they are a) Not so overt about it — Usually they end up giving till they’re spent (till then they’ll resist your attempts to help) and then they feel unloved. It’s a Mars – Venus dynamic. For an example of the not so overt, I knew my mom would come home and insist on making dinner for my dad but would not let it slip if she was having the flu. You had to observe carefully since the medium is the message.

    What they do fail to realize is that choreplay is not intrinsically arousing, it may be platonic, but not as directly arousing as a hug or a kiss or sexy body language or lingerie, but I digress.

    But here’s the real crux of it b) Mothers are in a whole other category. Moms will do a lot of stuff for their children since pregnancy and will sacrifice and support (fathers also don’t mind suffering or giving their lives for their children).

    But the same love of a mom can’t be expected out of a wife, or any other woman in your life, nor should you. Parents will always love you no matter what you are, but that’s not in your interest when you have to evolve further. That’s something most betas don’t get. Love flows down, respect flows up. Sending too many child vibes is actually a turnoff – and it’s sad for me to hear to many complaints about the husband being an extra child. I can guarantee that a dead bedroom in that place and constant criticism of that man in his own house.

    Yes, men are more idealistic lovers because they have fewer needs from a woman than women do from men (assuming they’re not beta).

    Marriage or LTR is red pill on steroids — you need to maintain your respect even when your partner knows all the good, bad and ugly about you. If you can’t keep evolving, you will decline, and I’ve seen far too many a couple that stayed together after middle age because they need each other, but not because they love or respect each other.

    Now this doesn’t mean I am not observant of the fact that most women riding the cock carousel are quite shallow until they hit the wall or that countless men are systematically divorce raped by their cheating wives.

  40. This is the best post in your entire blog man.
    If there’s one webpage to recommend reading to downcast men, it is this one.

  41. @sri

    Now this doesn’t mean I am not observant of the fact that most women riding the cock carousel are quite shallow until they hit the wall

    Yeah. ANd then, on reaching the Wall, they lose their shallowness. They become profound.

  42. The fewer the needs, the more abundant the love. That’s why parental love is the closest you can get to unconditional love (apart from your dog). What is termed unconditional is actually love in abundance.

    No one can deny that women have more needs than a single man. That’s why the betaization process happens for any man in an LTR or a marriage, but there’s no male equivalent (it doesn’t serve the man in any way to make his wife unattractive, but he will need her to support him and his biology will want to impregnate multiple women as it is risky and time consuming to raise even one human child to adulthood).

    The monogamous marriage serves the needs of society and children the best, followed by the woman and then the man.

    A sense of duty is always more stable and stoic than an emotional base – that’s why old school cultures talk of the duties of husband and wife.

    Men make the mistake of thinking their wives or girlfriends will love them as unconditionally like their mothers, nope. That’s a love based on pair bonding. A child in a normal family will always see the better side of his mother — the husband will know the complete truth though. Almost all other relationships apart from the one with your partner start from infancy or childhood (some friendships are the exception), and that makes all the difference.

    Naturally this upsets a lot of women. AWALT is quickly denied with a NAWALT, but data never lies. Now this does not mean women do not love, do not support, do not try to please their partners and all that, do not put up with a less than ideal relationship, but the basis of the relationship rests on certain needs. It’s just that explaining the trick takes the magic out of it.

    There is a conscious component in every human being that can do more than the limits of biology, but few seldom care to utilize it.

    Commitment is always worth much more than sex. Trust even more – as nothing in this entire world can run with at least a measure of professional trust. Sex is something that declines quickly in most marriages after the honeymoon phase. Commitment is for a lifetime, long after you’ve grown too old for sex. If that’s her body, that’s his life. If men are wired to see women as sex objects for their needs, women are wired to see men as commitment objects for their needs.

    The eskimos had 50 different words for different forms of love, the greeks at least 8. English is the only language that has just one.


  43. Ok i would explain to you guys the problem western men have with western women in relationships. Women do not like to date their equal, they prefer men that are superior to them. So when a woman in the west is middle class level of income and the men she meet are middle class too, her hypergamy is not impressed.

    So in the west high level men for women are millionnaires, and billionnaires are the real deal (of course they still valu a chaotic chad for wild fun, but once they hit the wall their materialistic instinct come out).

    So western men should try their chance with 3rd world women who will valu their middle class smv better. Though, if you end up marrying these 3rd wold women their hypergamy may evolve into that of a western women and she will branch swing.

  44. As a newbie MGTOW, im in my early 20s, reading woman comments here have made me become confused a lot. Because their objectivity against this essay seems very legit while I am trying to really understand what is Rollo trying to say here. I am still somewhat trapped in the FI because of my upbringing, oh well I used to live with my single mother who exactly identified with hypergamy. I just want to know the true nature of man and women without judgement and become stoic is my goal. I have an LTR LDR whom I think had just lost interest with me because of religion and family differences, One year ago we lived together for 4 months, but now she’s away because of college. I am bettering myself trying to accept this reality, my rational and instinct and rational are with me on this. But I still have some problems with my emotional side of wanting her back. My betaness had my emotional side for now I guess. Mind you I am well built, I go to gym everyday and I am quite handsome because the girls had told me so. I am maybe from different generation than most of the guys in here, I thank older-experienced-wise males from my previous generation for this learning and knowledge, I still wish I’ve known this truth from my teenage years. Could you guys give me some tips on getting out from my emotional betaness side, emotional is not bad I know we need emoting for survival and making decision, just maybe some technique and tricks to improve my emotional fragility? Sums up my generation of pop culture FI…

  45. Hypergamy has no connection to woman it’s a different name for “Ego”.
    egotistical PEOPLE love opportunistically.
    there are guys out there who are like that too and it is a spectrum.

  46. A weird gut feeling has risen, it’s on the border of a laugh & a cry. I’m very new to Rollo, this Rule is Pure Gold. Thanks.

  47. Hello Chelsea

    You are a Bot, right?

    If not tell us your life story. In three short paragraphs. Failure to do so in a human narrative form would prove the bot speculation.

    “Beauty/Sexual attractiveness of a female produce physical pleasure (mundane) for men, skill or intelligence or courage or industriousness.of a male produce material pleasures and security (mundane) for women and their offsprings.”

    Only bots and losers live a mundane life.

  48. Actually most men don’t fall out of love with a woman when she gets fat. They lose arousal/attraction for her, but more often than not they’ll stay with her because they believe in an idealistic concept of love (love for the sake of it).

    Yes, they lose sexual interest, but not emotional investment so long as she’s still appreciative, loving and affectionate. Women, on the other hand, adhere to an opportunistic concept of love rooted in their Hypergamous mating strategy – “Is he the best I can do?”, is the limbic doubt women must answer. In our ancestral past answering this question was literally a life or death proposition, thus it entered into women’s evolutionary firmware of today.

    When that answer is ‘no’ that’s when women abandon their mates for the prospect of a better one, or a better living apart from their low SMV man. This is why women initiate 70%+ of all divorce. Their concept of love is based on opportunism and performance of males. Women will not allow themselves to be emotionally invested in an intimate relationship with a man if he doesn’t at least marginally pass the tests of her Hypergamous filters. Look up Briffault’s Law.

    Also, read the rest of my Love series of posts (category in the sidebar) if, as you say, you want a better understanding of what I’m proposing about love.

  49. “1 triggered person Vote down All my rational posts which are based on reality of life.”

    Possibly for the spamming, not the content itself.

  50. ” . . . how am i spamming, i’m discussing . . .”

    Several posts in a row making the same elementary point is not a “discussion.” I’m only responding because you haven’t changed your IP address every post as well.

    “I posted here to share my perspectives on the issue as a female.”

    Which is the only thing that distinguishes you from someone singing to the choir, but isn’t anything we haven’t seen before. You aren’t the only female who has commented here, nor the only one who doesn’t realize she’s just reenforcing the RM perspective.

    i.e. you are projecting the opportunistic love of women onto men, who love idealistically. Most men will get more and more miserable and even kill themselves before they leave their wives for a leaner model.

    Women attempt suicide the most, because they are looking for attention.
    Men succeed at suicide the most, because they just can’t take it anymore and can’t conceive of simply leaving as a way out.

  51. Rollo Tomassi and KFG are liars, in denial, hyprocritical, coward Beta Males.

    The author deleted all my posts because a lot of his ideas I proved wrong with basis from Realities of Life.
    (He didnt delete the posts from other females; he deleted mine because i made strong points.)

    Rollo and kfg, you guys are cowards cannot even counter my arguments properly. You downvoted and deleted (Lol embarrassing) the arguments
    instead of let it be in the public forum for other guys to read and decide for Themselves. You treat men like little boys.
    You wanted to brainwash men to your irrational thinking and not improve themselves.

    I wanted to advice men to strive to become desirable instead of staying undesirable.
    Survival of the fittest. The weaklings die out. (they become miserable or commit suicide)

    Life is hard, it’s a competition, we are here to live to improve ourselves. People should improve on their qualities, be a more desirable partner if they want to be respected/admired/loved.
    You want to be Wanted when you’re Unwanted lol

    Notice this is my comment which the author deleted First:

    Women want a man who have more abilities and can provide more, more women can upgrade.

    Men want a nice, prettier woman and would go for her, only if they can have her, but less men can upgrade.

    He also didn’t counter my post as a response to his hypocritical post above as it shows men do not have idealistic love.

  52. @kfg “Most men will get more and more miserable and even kill themselves before they leave their wives for a leaner model.”

    Hyprocritical, and what a loser. The only reason men would let themselves become miserable and even kill themselves (such losers) if their wives become obese or
    undesirable and not get some pride (life goes on) start a new relationship with a Nice, Pretty woman is because they Can’t.

    If a man likes that nice, pretty woman and she have feelings for him, if the man is confident in having a good relationship with her, if he’s not insecure, if he wont lose out in divorce dont be hyprocritical that
    that you have an idealistic love and that’s what makes you stay with your wife… you will leave your wife in that case

  53. Many readers have read my past posts already, go ahead delete these ones too to affirm what coward Beta males you guys are lol how embarrassing
    I posted in other sites anyway- the strong men agreed and get motivated, the weak boys get depressed and stay loser.

  54. @kfg “Men succeed at suicide the most, because they just can’t take it anymore and can’t conceive of simply leaving as a way out.”

    Ending your own life cos your spouse become obese, broke your heart, don’t find you good enough, being demanding, etc
    that’s stupidity, being weak, no sense of self-love and pride, being too dependent on someone else for your own happiness, lacking motivation and goals in life, Lacking Options

    That’s Not about having Idealistic love (i will kill myself cos im so heart broken!!!)

    So their way out is giving up, putting an end on their lives instead of improving themselves, find a more suitable partner, starting a new life or stay single and find own happiness?

  55. @kfg “you are projecting the opportunistic love of women onto men,”

    Why don’t you just accept that confidence, sense of humor, skills, intelligence, industriousness, being an achiever are great traits that women Desire/Admire and make them fall In love with a man (in most cases) And that these attributes, as a result, produce security and happiness for a woman and their children.
    Most strong men don’t complain about this, they are competitive and win. Women desire/respect/love them, they have many options, so they get to choose the best woman.

    For many other women, a man doesn’t even have to possess all those qualities for a woman to choose him.

    Just as men value women for their physical attractiveness and feminine traits (remove these attributes, most men wont fall in love with a woman), women value men for manly traits.

    Reality is, being loving, loyal partner is not enough trait in a man for a woman to want him as MANY men can be like that to her.
    Seems like to many men, as long as the woman is physically attractive to them and she’s loving and loyal partner that’s enough.

    That’s because men do not get as much love and care from the opposite sex. Not many women want them. Again, it’s about OPTIONS.
    Men mostly get love from their mothers/sisters, when young boys they get love from society but when they grow into adulthood they dont get much love.

    Also just accept the reality of life that Romantic love is Conditional love.

    And don’t be hypocritical that men have Idealistic love.

  56. Banning me also for challenging your “rational” ideas instead of properly countering my points shows how fake, hypocritical, cowardly you guys are.

    Be truthful.

    Disguising my multiple posts as spamming lol you just dont want to accept the realities.

    You just want excuses and scapegoats for your weaknesses and shortcomings in the dating game.

  57. ….through thick n thin, till death do us part…

    I love my Obese wife for life! I will Never fall out of love!

    -hyprocritical True Romantics

    Fool yourselves.

  58. @Rollo Tomassi “Actually most men don’t fall out of love with a woman when she gets fat. They lose arousal/attraction for her, but more often than not they’ll stay with her because they believe in an idealistic concept of love (love for the sake of it).”

    Is this Real life?

    The ones who Can leave, they leave.
    The others who Can’t leave, either Cheat or stay Unhappy/Miserable (in either cases, the man is Not being Romantically In love, if you’re In love with your partner you won’t cheat or feel miserable you should be happy even she’s Unattractive; Again, men need physical/sexual attraction to be Romantically In love)

    Some men’s love will become kind of Platonic love. You think that’s Love, Right?
    Don’t you know that’s same kind of love some women have for their partner who give them and their children protection and security? They have no sexual attraction but love deeply the person. But you think those women as OPPORTUNIST, THEY DON’T LOVE.
    She Loves the person because she respects/admires him, he’s her man, her partner, her companion, the father of her children, they’re protector and provider.

  59. If your Obese wife stopped doing household chores got lazy or stopped being a good mother to your children, would you still love her?

    Men’s love is Conditional as well.

    Having conditional love is Nature’s way so the father and mother work harder to ensure the protection, security and well-being of their family.

  60. If you will delete any of my new posts, that’s only an affirmation you cannot counter properly my valid
    points. That makes you lose credibility. (You should bring back all my deleted posts as well to show you’re not fake and a– coward)

    Clearly I’m discussing elaborately about the issue to make Clear my arguments and points, not spamming like you guys falsely claims just so my posts you can hide from readers.

    Many ppl have read these new posts too. 😉

  61. If you will still insist that men are True Romantics, they love Idealistically….
    They love their wife no matter what……….

    Then for guys like you, Love is Blind for you then.

    You are Irrational then. You don’t even know what is right and wrong kind of love. That makes a person miserable.

    You’re not thinking with your brain nor with your penis. You’re not thinking at all.

    You’re being delusional hopeless romantic. Holding on to Illusion.

  62. @Rollo ” Women, on the other hand, adhere to an opportunistic concept of love rooted in their Hypergamous mating strategy – “Is he the best I can do?”, is the limbic doubt women must answer. In our ancestral past answering this question was literally a life or death proposition, thus it entered into women’s evolutionary firmware of today.

    When that answer is ‘no’ that’s when women abandon their mates for the prospect of a better one, or a better living apart from their low SMV man. This is why women initiate 70%+ of all divorce. Their concept of love is based on opportunism and performance of males. Women will not allow themselves to be emotionally invested in an intimate relationship with a man if he doesn’t at least marginally pass the tests of her Hypergamous filters. Look up Briffault’s Law.”

    About Hypergamous mating strategy –“Is he the best I can do?”

    Ok, I missed this part (I admit I read only few articles in this site and haven’t read them fully)

    Well, culture also has effect on this kind of mentality. This “not emotionally investing in a relationship with a man and divorcing if there’s a better prospect” is not really a practice in other cultures. That’s mainly in Western cultures i guess. I agree, this mindset is terrible.

    The arguments I made about Women in Love the perspectives come from my cultural background which I presumed is the reality of life around the world. I was talking more about how women fall in love and fall out of love for valid or good reasons.

  63. @B Strong Week

    You don’t know how oppressed men are now. Millennials are having less sex than any time in history! Birth rates are dropping, we are heading for extinction! Rollo today had to do a youtube video to tell millennials why sex is important. They didn’t know, they think a pumpkin latte is more important!

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