(h/t Zelscorpion for the screen cap)
In Women Behaving Badly I made mention of Dalrock’s standing assertions that the context of romantic love has superseded the condition of a committed monogamy – traditionally marriage – as an idealized goal-state. Essentially this represents a reversal of a previous intersexual dynamic that served as a check and balance of women’s innate Hypergamy:
What nearly all modern Christians have done is place romantic love above marriage. Instead of seeing marriage as the moral context to pursue romantic love and sex, romantic love is now seen as the moral place to experience sex and marriage. This inversion is subtle enough that no one seems to have noticed, but if you look for it you will see it everywhere.
Lifetime marriage, with separate defined roles for husband and wife and true commitment is what makes sex and romantic love moral in the biblical view. In our new view, romantic love makes sex moral, and the purpose of marriage is to publicly declare that you are experiencing the highest form of romantic love. Thus people now commonly refer to a wedding as “making our love official”.
The gradations we now apply to romantic love are symptomatic of the problem. We take great care to distinguish between “pure love” or “true love” and mere “infatuation” or “puppy love”.
[…] Because it is love and not marriage which now confers morality upon sex, sex outside of marriage is now considered moral so long as you are in love. Thus we have the modern harlot’s defense/anthem “but we were in love!”
I think what Dal was getting at with this (and I hope he’ll comment) has a much broader reach than just in Christian (“Churchian”) culture. I think this raising of romantic love to the highest order is more punctuated in a religious context because, doctrinally, it should be the reverse. In an objective secular context this reversal is all but taken for granted.
In an age of feminine social primacy women’s feelings of romance are at a premium. We matter of factly presume that it’s a man’s responsibility to not only invest himself in, and provide resources for, his wife and children’s wellbeing, but it’s also (almost exclusively) his burden of performance to stimulate and maintain his wife’s romantic interests.
I’ve argued the position that women (of today) don’t find the ‘good guy‘ – a man attempting to embody the best aspects of Alpha Fucks and Beta Bucks – a believable role. My assertion is that women expect and desire those aspects in different men at different times as needed, however, the social narrative still places that “best of both aspects” burden on a man who does commit to a woman in the long term.
With the exception of only the most adept, affluent and exceptional of men, this expectation is a sisyphean recipe for failure. No matter which aspect he excels in the other aspect potentially becomes his personal flaw. Although his personal strengths may compensate, feminine-primary social expectations place him in a no-win position.
Wives Hate Sex
Badpainter and Sun Wukong had an interesting exchange in this week’s comment thread:
Newgal states clearly women must be sluts for men to get laid. This also means women must be sluts for women to get laid. Why must that be true? Because Newgal alludes to a dirty little truth so ingrained in the social consciousness it’s a cliché: wives hate sex. Therefore women, sluts and otherwise, get married so they can stop having sex except as necessary to get pregnant.
Think about it.
The girlfriend provides sex good enough to motivate a desire in the man to commit. After the wedding is a period of at least adequate sex followed by a decline to little or nothing if she can get away with this. When the wife becomes suitably frustrated/disenchanted with the marriage she changes title to divorcée and is again free to become a sexual creature.
The source of the problem is that women have very little sense of self that is internally derived therefore they play roles defined externally. These roles are proxies for their identities which barely exist. In 2015 wives are not defined as sexually giving, or sexual at all except for the honeymoon period. If the sexual wife exists in this culture it as the adulteress giving herself to men other than her husband.
Sun Wukong
Oh absolutely. The wife that hates sex is such a “thing” now I really think it’s what makes even Blue Pill guys at least pause on their way to the altar. “Do I really want to put a libido draining fat license on her finger?” I think that premise is largely built out of feminine cynicism about settling for [Beta Bucks]. They all know the script so well that they assume they’re going to marry a guy they don’t want to fuck. Imagine that: assuming you’re going to hate sex for the rest of your life.
What a horrendously awful view of a man you haven’t even met yet. And he’s not even met you but assumes he’ll be happily making love to you for the rest of his life and you’ll do the same. What a disconnect. Oh well, at least the kids will be happy right? Anybody?
What Badpainter and Sun have illustrated here is the direct result of placing a romantic condition for love as the prime requisite for a committed relationship. It’s important to grasp that any relationship founded on genuine desire will necessitate genuine passion and not a small amount of feral lust, however, it is exactly this pre-commitment (Alpha Fucks) sexual chemistry that will later become the exclusive responsibility of a man in that commitment.
The character that is a wife is now socially and popularly expected to move into a sexless, passionless and unexciting condition by being married today. All Epiphany Phase rationalizations aside, marriage is viewed as the end of the party. Being a wife is boring by comparison.
I explored this in detail in Beta Fucks and As Good As It Gets, but what I find ironic in light of Dalrock’s assertions about romance-primary intergender dynamics is that the very pretense of that romantic “true love” context that supposedly legitimizes sex is killed within the confines of marriage. In fact, women expect and anticipate that the sexual desire they find so important in that romantic context will necessarily die once they become a ‘wife’.
The pretext of being a ‘wife’ is a socially excusable expectation of progressively losing sexual affinity for the man she’s agrees to marry, so what woman wants to be a wife? Women become wives due to the necessities an ever-decreasing capacity to maintain being a lover requires of them.
I expect that most women will disagree with me on a personal level; it’s not in women’s best interest to acknowledge that wives hate sex – perpetuating the belief that sex gets better after marriage is a necessity men need to internalize in order to commit. Whether or not this is true for a woman on a personal basis isn’t my point. The point is that the societal message is one that marriage will necessarily kill a couples’ passionate sexual connection in comparison to their single, romance-based sexual connection.
Why ruin a perfectly good relationship with marriage?
The Myth of Mismatched Libidos
Once married, there are myriad social conventions already emplaced for a wife to rely upon as she moves from exciting singleness into mundane, but necessary, long-term commitment. Most of these she’s already been conditioned to expect she can rely on. ‘Mismatched Libidos’ is a common refrain for women (and marriage counselors) who come to a point where they can no longer palate the “duty sex” they felt responsible for in the beginnings of their marriage.
Her husband isn’t expected to provide the ‘tingles, but he’s still responsible for the failure to create them. As I said, only the most exceptional of men can effortlessly inspire the admiration necessary to maintain a woman’s Hypergamous interest. If you have a read of the screen cap Zel provided us with for this post you’ll get an idea of how those pre-made social conventions work in tandem with men’s default responsibility of satisfying a woman’s endless discontent.
The deference is always to the feminine, thus any problem (particularly sexual ones) he has with her become his personal issues and flaws. Any deviation, any dissatisfaction, with the ready-made social conventions set in place to excuse the female sexual strategy are solely his responsibility and his character flaws.
In last week’s post comments I quoted the following confessional from Love Shack:
My wife called me today and was all excited about some beachfront apartment she saw. She wants us to buy it for vacations and such.
Now here I am .. I just turned 50. My youngest is going to college this year and I guess I just realized that I’m no longer bound to her.
The last 20 years has been a long series of quickies and 3 minutes handjobs every 3-4 weeks. In between, I spent my prime sexual years mostly masturbating to get off. Now that I’m 50, my drive is still good, but it’s not what it was.
I had tried everything I could think of over those 20 years to get things on track. I was exemplary with chores around the house, I was attentive to her emotional needs as far as I could anticipate them, and even if I do say so myself – I’ve kept myself in outstanding shape (although that was more for me).
On the other hand, I look back and I can hardly remember a time that she spontaneously gave me a neck rub, or cooked something just for me as opposed to all of us, and certainly not even attempting to do something special for me sexually (yeah, I have a minor kink or two).
But when she asked me to buy a beachfront place today – my immediate reaction was annoyance. I realized then that I feel resentful. I have decided to leave her. There is absolutely nothing she can do now to change anything because the past cannot be changed.
This man’s situation represents the ending phase of a chronic lack of admiration on his wife’s part. It would be easy to point out his role is one of being the dutiful unconsidered provider in his wife’s Frame, however, consideration is never a motivator of genuine desire for a woman. Only admiration and an ambient imagination of losing the focus of it inspires genuine desire.
Girl With A Dragonfly Tattoo had a post recently outlining the expectations of women interested in “seducing” a man. On GWADT’s blog what’s implied is that this man is in fact her husband to begin with. What makes her points so difficult for married women to digest is that they should ever need to make an effort to do so. The reason this is so alien a thought to married women is because the men they wanted to seduce were the men they knew before they became ‘wives’. Wives have no use for seduction, and particularly so with the Beta men they settled for around their Epiphany Phase. Seduction, compassion, appreciation (such as can be expected of a woman) only become a necessity when women are subjected to a real preoccupation with losing a valuable man – a man they admire.
Even in Frank Sinatra’s time wives had to be told to be lovers too.
April 2nd, 2015 at 1:21 am
There’s a difference between @rollos “thirsty beta male” and “guy who is passionate, authentic and knows what he wants from his girl while being red pill aware”
Girls want to be the special little snowflake. BUT with a passionate authentic alpha high SMV
April 2nd, 2015 at 1:58 am
@Will
You can be high value and be Blue Pill.
April 2nd, 2015 at 2:13 am
@ Sun Wukong
I think Will is saying guys that “just get it” should avoid the ‘sphere’s advice. Which if they “get it” they already know, but that’s beside the point. I am, however, eager to see how he next moves the goal posts.
April 2nd, 2015 at 5:10 am
roissy in 2008:
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2008/03/27/dread/
April 2nd, 2015 at 7:59 am
In all my experiences I have encountered very few husbands who had the full desire of their wives. Most of those more Alpha men (with 1 or 2 exceptions who were faithful) were men who had affairs and ran Game constantly. They excited the passion of other women and often their wives demanded more sex than they did themselves. Alpha men are uncontrollable indeed, but I guess that is what makes them so exciting to many.
Personally I would not want a stifled legally enforced marriage contract of times past. Of course a reversal of the laws to 1890s level would help, but I would prefer if all men were taught Game and women were encouraged to marry early, keep their notch count to a minimum. If society celebrated and supported healthy strong masculinity, then more men would be able to create delicious tingles.
We humans and men especially can learn such basic things. Think about modern sexuality and the ease with which most men can nowadays create the female orgasm and compare it to 100 years ago, when it was mostly a mystery or seen as completely unimportant. If men can learn to generate female orgasms, then they can learn to generate female tingles if they are given the chance, the framework and the proper knowledge.
April 2nd, 2015 at 9:41 am
My, my, heh heh, out of the blue @Will has lots of hubris.
I don’t recall any of Will’s comments on previous posts, but I have to surmise that he didn’t read the original post. Or didn’t understand it. I would also surmise by his comments that he is younger than 27. And he hasn’t had a LTR.
(Not meant to be mean Will. This forum is about preventative medicine.)
Take it from some old guys with LTR’s. If you’ve made it to 27 years old, congratulations you just finished the easiest time of your life.
“With the exception of only the most adept, affluent and exceptional of men, this expectation is a sisyphean recipe for failure. No matter which aspect he excels in the other aspect potentially becomes his personal flaw. Although his personal strengths may compensate, feminine-primary social expectations place him in a no-win position.”
See some hurdles are higher in life. Some really high. Death of a child. Loss of a good job with difficult prospects for another. Personal severe medical illness. Cancer in a spouse. Lot of things. On top of that there are psychic taxes to be paid like bad behaving in-laws, work responsibilities you are not compensated for but are necessary, stupid laws stupid neighbors, physical injuries while pursuing adventurous activities.
And the article was about marriage. My bias is for marriage. But it was much easier to lock down a SMV8 @ her 25 year old age twenty five years ago (1990) than it is in todays age of smartphones, facebook and feminism brainwashing in school.
I find that Rollo’s constant reminders to always be performing in the face of continual psychic “taxes” are encouraging. After all I got this far doing well. Why not continue?
April 2nd, 2015 at 9:53 am
I can’t say I’ve ever had ‘obligation sex.’ Even on the night my ex- divorce ambushed me, she wanted to have sex. Then she kept a nude photo of me on her dresser post-divorce. (Also, the sexual tension remained too high post-divorce for us to navigate the “let’s just be friends for the sake of the children” thing.) So, ironically, I was married to someone who in the end preferred me as a lover, over me as a husband.
Thus the many qualities Dragonflygirl describes as components of seduction slowly evaporated, and had I not been so blue pill I would not have written that fact off as just part of the normal cycle of life. I wouldn’t have been in complete denial and oblivious to what, in retrospect, was a multi-year program of alienation and rejection and replacement. So instead of suffering through ‘obligation sex’ in steadily decreasing quantity, we were practicing ‘obligation marriage’, but only one of us knew that. That proved to be more dangerous to the family.
These qualities of seduction, as defined by the dragonfly, to me are just qualities of attention, recognition, respect and kindness. It wasn’t until I found the redpill that I recognized how rare they are. And I don’t stay in relationships where they are not present, or are steadily diminishing — which, I should say, is the norm.
And oh, I’d say the dichotomy exists in the ex-‘s second marriage. The guy has the energy level, and masculinity, of a near-invalid. They’ve got three great homes, though.
April 2nd, 2015 at 9:56 am
I do not mean to hijack, but I’m looking for some of your opinions including Rollo’s.
Found you guys googling this morning.
I’m 28, asian, nerdish. Fiance is 24 white. We have been engaged four months.
She bullshits about guys in her past. Caught her on Facebook keeping in touch with her exes even if she claimed she doesn’t. It seems as soon as they message she responds and likes to chat. My sister told me it is normal. They are just friends now.I only saw this because she left FB on while in bed.
She also made up stories about a few guys we know that she said were just her ” friends” at her job. Turns out they are all guys she has been with. Drunk girl at her office party told.me.
Now they are friends etc.. I guess this is normal. I’m confused.
Just checking. My sister told me not to ask here because you are all women haters. I am anyway.
April 2nd, 2015 at 10:07 am
@midwestboi
Dump her. And don’t look back.
April 2nd, 2015 at 10:29 am
@midwestboi,
“Don’t ask them, they’re misogynists” is a laughably transparent ploy on her part to control the dialogue and the information you receive. It’s a cliche in these parts now to observe how people will resort to shaming and drama when you approach uncomfortable truths.
So why do you think your girl is being less than upfront with you about all these other guys? There are red flags all over the place here.
A few key points:
– This girl isn’t devoting her attention to a monogamous commitment. She’s playing a game where she had her fun with a bunch of men when she was younger, and is now feeling some pressure to settle down before her prospects decline.
– She figures she might as well give the appearance of settling down because of the social status and comfort/financial stability it may offer. But she doesn’t want to give anything up in order to do so; who would, really? Fortunately, facebook accounts and cellphones means she doesn’t have to! She can still get lots of attention and validation from lots of guys at the same time, and you need never know! (Unless she’s careless and doesn’t log out.) So in addition to having your commitment, she has the ear and sympathy of any beta orbiters she’s accumulated, and hey, if things with you get a little too dull, she’s got 6-12 dicks still on the hook, ready and willing to ‘reignite’ things whenever she pleases.
– This doesn’t mean necessarily that she’s cheating, or thinking of cheating, or anything like that. This isn’t really a conscious strategy. That’s why your broaching the topic would be met with such indignation; she can convince herself, and expects you to agree, that her behavior is ‘normal’ (it is, nowadays, in the sense that it’s common) and not harmful.
– Basically, technology and contemporary mores make it so that she can try to ‘have it all’ – she can get commitment, without giving up any of her options whatsoever. Monogamy and marriage no longer ‘take’ like they once did; if she gets bored of it or changes her mind, she knows she can just dump it and go back to hot, exciting sex and short-term relationships with random men. So she keeps the backup plans running.
– I suspect you’re looking for a relationship where you can count on each other to stick with it when the going gets tough, where you can rely on each other for support and devotion, where both of you are in it for the long haul. That’s not this relationship. She’s giving commitment a whirl, just to see if it suits her fancy. If it doesn’t she’s out.
– This is normal nowadays. That’s what we mean by the supremacy of the Feminine Imperative. It’s not a conspiracy or plan or any bullshit like that; it’s just that the female sexual strategy, which always wants options, is supported in numerous ways most people aren’t even aware of. All sorts of systems and social conventions exist now to support her getting what she wants out of a relationship, and to shame and punish you if you try to protest or get what you want (loyalty, respect, decent sex, and persistence in holding the relationship together).
I’d stick around if I were you.
April 2nd, 2015 at 10:33 am
Err. That is, I’d stick around on this site. I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I’d certainly not encourage you to ‘stick around’ in a relationship that doesn’t give you what you want and need.
April 2nd, 2015 at 10:55 am
@midwestboi
If you want to settle down with a chick, presumably including a family, male friends are a deal killer in my book.
She should not be showing any interest in them, and willing to give them all up for you.
I mean, if she’s just your GF, fine, whatever.. But wife? hell no.
April 2nd, 2015 at 10:58 am
@midwestboi
As Rollo wrote a post about…
The medium is the message:
http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/06/the-medium-is-the-message/
If she were truly into you, do you think other men would spark her interest enough to seek attention from them on FB?
Your sister is female. She doesn’t even realize how she’s betraying your trust by trying to reassure you without considering the position you’re being placed in. Don’t blame her too bad, she knows not what she does.
Abandon and scuttle the ship. Leave nothing floating behind.
Your sister wants you to be a beta supplicant because she honestly believes that that is what you need to hear. She couldn’t be more wrong. Women do not understand masculinity, much less how to grow it. Start humoring your sister if you haven’t already, and dump your GF.
April 2nd, 2015 at 10:58 am
@midwestboi – Marriage is a serious investment. If you are uncertain, then do proper due diligence. Install a key-logger and find out what she does online on FB and dating sites.
Even if it’s major flirting, that she does for ego-stroke, then I would drop her like a hot potato. A fiancee on the verge of the wedding should be all butterflies and roses towards her man. If even then she is not, then you might just as well put the cuckold-stamp on your forehead and lubricate your butt for the divorce-rape.
April 2nd, 2015 at 11:07 am
@Will
I actually agree with Will. Here’s what I think is going on. Society has changed in fundamental ways: above all, it has become more unequal. In an oligarchic society most men do not get to be swashbuckling heroes with a harem of women. Nor do they get a single, committed wife, like they would under conditions of broad middle class equality like obtained from the 30s to the 60s. They become…slaves, or the equivalent. Some version of that has been true for most of civilization. Now, that is an awkward transition to make. No amount of theorizing is going to change that. No amount of “game” is going to change your fundamental condition.
Second, a lot of people seem to be evaluating marriage from the romance-centric perspective that Dalrock, and RT himself, point out is absurd. Marriage is not an institution designed for your optimal emotional fulfillment—man or woman. It is designed to create a stable environment for raising children; to ensure clear lines of paternal lineage; and to keep men from forming gangs and killing the leaders by giving them a share of the social wealth (women).
Now, we don’t believe in any of those things anymore. Therefore the institution has no purpose. We are trying to re-purpose it as a vehicle for romantic love (this is actually enshrined in our law now thanks to gay marriage). But the problem is that romantic love (as a lifelong monogamous commitment) is pious bullshit. This is not a surprise to anyone in my traditional family, where the idea of “love marriage” is itself considered a recent Western innovation and a competitor ideal. Young people who want to marry for “love” are considered silly children who have yet to understand their duties. Turns out they are right to be suspicious, as everything written on this site by RT and legions of divorced men demonstrate.
The only serious chance you have of actually staying in a marriage is if you and your spouse marry out of duty. What duty? That’s your problem. Indeed, in the absence of any comprehensive worldview there is no reason for marriage. There is no basis for commitment. There is only whim.
Ultimately my point is, a lot of people’s fates are going to be shaped by large-scale structural factors out of their control. Yes, you can try to seize your fate and overcome your circumstances; but most will fail to do so. Just like in a highly unequal economy, few will become billionaire tech entrepreneurs or investment bankers.
It is right to try to overcome your circumstances; but in this society a lot of men will inevitably be low-status and they will be swimming upstream in trying to get stable attraction from any attractive girl.
I guess there’s another thing I agree with Will about. A lot of “game” involves sly emotional manipulation and overthinking relationships. That makes it inherently feminine. That makes it something I have a reflexive distaste for. I think this is also why it provokes wildly divergent reactions from women, which makes it very dangerous unless you’re already on the ropes. Running “dread game” is kind like being a manipulative little bitch. I say this with total sympathy for the enterprise.
All of that stuff can be accomplished just by being good at being a man; it follows naturally from it. The real problems are that a) most people don’t grow up with that knowledge anymore, b) society is running massive interference creating confusion through feminist ideology, and c) in the society we live in it is inherently hard to be good at being a man even if you know what that entails.
Hence what Will said; at best you can be 1) high-value (need to know what that means first) and 2) red pill aware (able to see through feminist ideology and able to see why society “conspires against your manhood.”).
April 2nd, 2015 at 11:09 am
Look.. Straight up tell her.. “this will not do”. Explain in simple terms.. if you think I’ll commit my life to a woman who carries on with other men.. you’re crazy.
watch her reaction.. three things can happen.
1. She takes great offense – scolds you for even thinking that way, challenges it quasi-intellectually, and intentionally misinterprets what you are getting at.
2. She downplays it, appeases you (like she has been), get’s you to back down.
3. She submits. Says she can see where you’re coming from.
1. If she won’t even consider sacrificing them for you, forget her.
2. Run like hell.
3. Here’s where you use your own judgment, based on what she says..
But then make certain you make choices based on what she DOES after that. Not on what she said.
p.s. read aloud Zelcorpion’s last sentence 50 times each night before bed.
April 2nd, 2015 at 11:18 am
Thank you for your responses. I am sticking around and started to read Rollo and Return of Kings. I am in debt for your insights and advice. I am listening.
April 2nd, 2015 at 11:39 am
[…] up with the commodication of sex in general in society is what Rollo notes on his latest post that Wives hate sex. Women utilize sex in order to get men to commit to them for marriage. Once the expectation is set […]
April 2nd, 2015 at 11:47 am
Hey @midwestboi
Look brother I hear you. Keep male friends for that’s online hear me out now most males in my family that got in serious hurt financially and emotionally keeped telling me to never lose my male friends. You need feedback females will not agree with. Think of how all this is coming to you and even my own bias. Just think it helps to have others males talk about stuff that isn’t controlled by a feline environment. Ie school religion and government.
April 2nd, 2015 at 11:51 am
Reblogged this on 254MGTOW and commented:
This….Powerful stuff! Necessary for both single & married men alike!
April 2nd, 2015 at 11:57 am
Midwestboi: You found the best blog on the internet. Even better than Heartiste. Keep reading. Read it all and read fast. Skip work and turn off your phone for 3 days (avoid calls and texts from this brainwashed modern slut who is using you — good way to get some hand, kill 2 birds with one stone), and read everything on this website.
Do not marry her. Have the best sex of your life with her while acting aloof around her for a few months. F the shit out of her. Tie her up and do whatever you’ve been wanting to do. Then dump her. Funny thing is — after that, after you act like a man around her, she will be the one chasing you.
Read:
http://therationalmale.com/2011/12/27/women-in-love/
April 2nd, 2015 at 11:57 am
@Rollo – You’ve hit another way, way out of the park brother. This is the kind of post that wrestles men away from BP cognitive dissonance.
I know you will probably continue receive hearty thanks from our fellow men.
I don’t think we can ever thank you enough, and other like Roosh, Dal etc…
But there’s a way you filter and bring this stuff out bruv!
Thank you, ahsante, ありがとうございます!
I truly appreciate your work.
April 2nd, 2015 at 12:08 pm
Anon that is a marvelous post
April 2nd, 2015 at 12:19 pm
@midwestboi
Your girl sounds like this cartoon:
http://therationalmale.com/2015/03/24/betas-in-waiting/comment-page-5/#comment-94493
Sorry to be blunt.
April 2nd, 2015 at 12:36 pm
@Lucien:
April 2nd, 2015 at 12:38 pm
@Lucien
I basically agree with you. A lot of men are idealistically trying to create a fantasy reality that can’t stably exist in the real world – even while choking down the red pill.
Great sex and devoted women are for the winners and for the fortunate. Not the average man. They never have been; the closest we got to equality was under a system that (a) enforced monogamy; and (b) depicted men as inherently above women. Even then I’m sure many marriages were passionless.
So it’s kind of stark. Fight or MGTOW. Idealistic love is for God or poetry, and is caught only in fits and snatches here below.
“A lot of “game” involves sly emotional manipulation and overthinking relationships. That makes it inherently feminine. That makes it something I have a reflexive distaste for. I think this is also why it provokes wildly divergent reactions from women, which makes it very dangerous unless you’re already on the ropes. Running “dread game” is kind like being a manipulative little bitch. I say this with total sympathy for the enterprise.”
Yes, true. Many men, nowadays especially, start out with a very strong set of ‘feminine’ slanted skills and abilities. So it’s playing a beta’s strength to attack his weakness. Like when you learn a second language, you spend time learning vocabulary and grammar rules and sentence structures and all sorts of other manufactured bullshit you never thought about learning your first language, that you never think about when actually speaking a language. They are training wheels, they get you enough purchase to start using the language just enough that it can start to feel natural – so that the abstraction can eventually be replaced with genuine competency and intuitive usage.
But that’s why I spend my time here and not, say, at CH. I got some basic theory there and some specific things to try, but Rollo is gold at ripping off the training wheels and forcing you to feel what it’s like to really ride.
April 2nd, 2015 at 12:48 pm
Oooh, guys, I had a crazy weekend to relate to you.
I was invited, with my un-licensed wife, to hot-tub with a couple other women. After the wine started flowing, these 3 gals started talking… the conversation opened directed at my “wife”.
Slut(30): So, [Vulpine’s chick], you’re turning 30 this year, too…
The 30 y.o. slut started foaming on about her house she’s building this spring for herself on part of her mother’s property. The slut’s mother is single, lives alone with the slut, and hates men for not wanting anything to do with her. When I tried to point out that she’ll need to design in some pet doors for all her cats, the conversation really got going.
Across the table from me was a 39 y.o. single mommy who had just broke it off with her placeholder. She, and the slut, were quick to raise their voices and start yelling the parroted FI shame over my talking. I proceeded to point out that she’s building a house to die alone in, considering she had “poisoned the well” that is the small-town dating scene. The slut just refused to accept, that, since she had slept with every available dude in the area, not a one of them would wife her up. It wasn’t until I pointed out that she likely didn’t get nearly as much kissing as she would like due to the “other guy’s cock taste” dynamic that she finally quit her yelling to hear a guy’s criticism. “It’s one thing to know a chick had been a slut in the past, it’s another thing to actually know the guys!”
For sport, I proceeded to point out the slut’s realities. At first, the single mommy was yelling in harmony, until the part where I asked “what would you have to offer this ‘Mr. Right’ once he falls out of the sky?” Being a single mother made her face reality at about 30 already, and she was suddenly reminded, and changed her position, quietly, to a realistic stance. Needless to say, my un-licensed wife internalized all that I was pointing out (she just turned 30, too), and jumped into the conversation after: “…and I want to TRAVEL!!!”
I explained that their ideal “Mr. Big” or “Mr. Right” was the very same one that 80% of all women want. Moreover, the “Mr. Right” that can afford their travel demands was in the 1%. Mr. tall-dark-handsome-doctor-lawyer-accoutant had 80% of women looking for him, and, he doesn’t have to settle for a man-hating, obese excuse for a woman. That really got the banshees wailing! NOOOOOOOOooooooooooo…….!
Later, while I was in the hot tub with three porkers (mine is getting on in pounds), I got my ass slapped by the slut when I was getting out for a piss break. Then, while out of the tub, the single mommy asked:
SM: “Vulpine, go down and grab my six-pack out of my car, would ya?
V: “Then what?”
SM: “Whadda ya mean?”
V: “I grab the six-pack… then?”
SM: “What do you want? *in half-mocking tone* ‘Vulpine, I’ll give you a blowjob’?”
V: “Ok, [Vulpine’s chick] will hold the camera. But, why should I go get your beer?”
SM: “PSSFFFF… NEVERMIND! I’ll get it myself.” *said with ‘you’re an asshole’ tone.*
V: *while SM is stomping off* “Hey, [Vulpine’s chick], get the camera ready!” *wink*
BOy, oh, BoY was the ride home fantastic! [Vulpine’s chick] was butt-hurt about the realities she faced at 30, and she proceeded to rant about what I had said earlier in the evening. She even said something along the lines of an unspoken ultimatum. “… consider your options.”
V: “Let’s just save this until we get home, I’ve got something I want you to see that will change your tone.”
Our sex had been falling off proportionate to her weight gain, and I have three strong factors of my “ideal” woman:
Shorter than me
Weighs less than me
Dark hair
That’s it. When we got home, I pointed out her receipt/paperwork for her gyno visit and birth control prescription. Specifically, I pointed at her listed weight while brushing my teeth.
She was about to freak-out on me, but cut herself off and said instead as if reciting her general orders:
[Vulpine’s chick]: “HUHBUHZ… ” *in a dejected tone* “Shorter than me, weighs less than me, dark hair…”
V: *whizzzzz-rrrr-zzz-rrr-rrr-rrr (electric toothbrush), raises an eyebrow*
[Vulpine’s chick]: You’re right. I know.
V: *WHrrrrr-zzzzsh-zzzsh-rrrrsh-zzz, scowl*
[Vulpine’s chick]: *sigh* *walks out of bathroom*
Dread.
Later…
[Vulpine’s chick]: “I’m sorry for letting myself become unsexy to you.”
V: “Did you hear [Slut(30)] carrying on about how she ‘left’ dude and was 80 lbs. overweight?
[Vulpine’s chick]: “Yeah?”
V: “Did you also hear her project her unhappiness onto the guy? She tried to blame him for her weight somehow, didn’t she? ‘Oh, I was unhappy with him, and when I left, and was 80 pounds overweight, once I started losing that weight and feeling happier, I was glad to be out of the relationship.’ Wasn’t that it?”
[Vulpine’s chick]: “Yeah, it was all ‘his fault’.”
V: Do you for one second believe that it was HER idea to leave him?”
[Vulpine’s chick]: “Uh… well…”
V: “Or, is it more realistic that dude got sick of fucking a beach ball and rolled her ass out the door? Of course, we’d never hear THAT version from her, would we?”
[Vulpine’s chick]: “No, of course not.”
V: “Well, there you go.” *half scowling look of disappointment*
[Vulpine’s chick]: *pensive, nodding knowingly*
I guess that was Sunday. I think the actual details of the slut’s story were that dude banged some other chick. Like, duh, who can blame dude? Beach ball, or, hot chick? Tough choice for a guy, huh?
Monday, after my gal got home from work, I came out of the bathroom after having just shaved off my mustache and beard:
V: “Ahhh…” *rubs 39-but-looks-early-twenties smooth face* “Suddenly, there are a lot of options opening up.”
[Vulpine’s chick]: “Awww… You didn’t let me touch it first? Hurumph!”
Tuesday morning, when she ‘got me up’ for morning sex, I lost my erection before having an orgasm.
This morning, she made sure to drop “…her and I walk 3 miles a day at work now”.
Dread.
We’ll see how it goes, but, this weekend really prompted me to do some “Wives & Lovers” introspection. I realized that Rosie the Ironworker makes neither a good wife, nor a good lover, considering how damn adversarial women are with regards to men. The 30 year-old slut made no acknowledgment of men being actual people, only things, like dick, that will always be in her reality. She went off at one point about “I’m thinking of importing [a man]”, to which I had to laugh. She thought that online dating would fix her right up with Mr. Perfect and she’d live happily ever after. Hell, even when the single mommy brought up her [the slut] having a baby, she still made no allotment for the man: she was to just ‘have a kid’, no mention of a father, or providing for the kid beyond just having it, no mention of how the sperm would get in her hole. Just, *Poof* Like Mary getting knocked up with Jesus.
Quite sad, really, to sit and listen to women believe their own bullshit. I felt like I was watching Dr. Phil and Opera.
Oooh, another remarkable point of the conversation… the slut was shaming other guys in the area for “being little boys”. She used names, and I knew the guys that were supposedly “little boys”. I said, “Hey, wait a minute, now. I’m the same little boy.”
Slut(30): “No, you’re a man.”
V: “So, these guys, who rejected you, and live care-free, and have their shit together, are ‘little boys’ for remaining single, with their own homes, jobs, and can come and go and fuck whoever, whenever they please? I’d be living the same lifestyle if [Vulpine’s chick] wasn’t hanging around. You’re essentially saying they are little boys for rejecting garbage women, because, look around, their just aren’t women around that are equal to those little boys’ value or quality. I’d be busy being a ‘little boy’ and not giving a fuck if I was single, too. Just ask [Vulpine’s chick].”
Slut(30): “NO! That’s not it, AT ALL!”
V: “No? Then, tell me, specifically, how am I a man and these men are boys?”
Slut(30): “Well, it’s just, I dunno, I can’t really describe it…”
V: “I see, you just wanna hate on what you can’t have, huh?”
Slut(30): *launches into denial, shame, blame, guilt, etc.*
I criticized my gal for hanging out with these toxic women. She responded that she “wasn’t going to pick up their morals”. I laughed, and told her: “Saying you won’t ‘pick up’ the morality of your friends is like saying that you wouldn’t learn how to say ‘Quiero dos cervezas por favor, gracias.’ if you live in Mexico for a couple years. You should find hotter, healthier chicks to hang around, seriously, those chicks are exactly the american garbage I don’t want you turning into.” *makes punt-the-football gestures*
[Vulpine’s chick]: “Yeah, I need to hang out with positive, successful people instead.”
Dammit, woman! If you’re going to drag me out hot-tubbin’, at least have some hot chicks to look at, not some damn harpy-harpy-hippoes! Sheesh!
Winning quote of the evening, from a pear-shaped, wall-facing, 30 year-old slut: “There will always be dick around; I’m not worried about that. I can get some whenever I want it.”
Sadly, she’s actually right: some guys will fuck anything, even goats and sheep.
April 2nd, 2015 at 1:14 pm
@Vulpine
LOL… That’s so far out there in male=object land… lol, “import” men… It’s like she can’t conceive of men as human beings with their own wants/needs/abilities. “importing” women only works because women seek higher status and if you live in a country where she automatically gets a large bump in living standards, she’ll go. For men, who very much exist by their own merit, not so much.
April 2nd, 2015 at 1:31 pm
Vulpine: funny post. I’m surprised they didn’t literally stomp their feet and storm off. They needed a ride home? Any time I have tried to give any realtalk to “professional” women at parties (lawyers), even stuff that is flat out nondebatable to any man (a human who can think rationally and consider facts), they literally stomp their feet and storm off. Example: given that two women both have the same “credentials,” law degree, job, income and looks, a 26 year old woman offers much more to a man than a 37 year old one does (same looks meaning the 37 year old was as hot as the 26 year old 11 years ago). These brainwashed women won’t even agree with that obvious proposition! lol. When I pointed that out last time, the rat-faced (HB2 — ugly as sin) woman confangled some story about her mother being a professional (as always, women can argue only using solipsism and by anecdote–the only thing that happens in the world is what they personally experience (or actually the feelings they created in their brain based on their experiences)) who re-entered the workforce at 37 to help out financially after her dad lost his job. Even her stupid solipsistic example failed to come close to refuting my point, of course. As she could not understand the following factors that differentiate her mom from the 37 year old single women on dating sites (the original point of the discussion):
1. her mom married her dad at 22 — the old rules — so her dad got her mom’s hot years from age 22-37;
2. her dad had worked and put her mom through law school — so the dad did the supporting for 15 years until at 37 the mom re-entered the workforce to “help out” after her did lost his job.
The woman had no understanding that her story of her mom and dad did not disprove my point that a 26 year old woman offers much more to a single man than a 37 year old woman, and we were specifically talking about a man who wants kids, too.
lzozlozlzozoz
And this woman is allowed to vote, and serve on juries, and she can even be a federal judge, and even a U.S. Supreme Court Justice, or the President of the United States.
Women literally are unable to use logic. Period.
…
Also, however, it sounds like your woman is a fattie and you can’t even stay hard while banging her. Yet you have alpha attitude — are you pretty fat, too? Just a question, because it sounds like your woman is already fat (and stupid) and you should upgrade.
April 2nd, 2015 at 1:33 pm
Jeremy, imagine my inner-laughing as I thought about the ol’ “men are such dogs for objectifying women!” thing.
In my mind, I saw an Amazon drone hovering in front of her door with an OD green, horse-cock-sized, bomb-shaped vibrator that had ” M A N ” stenciled on the front and “made in china” stenciled on the back.
The slut’s mother has the slut’s thinking polarized with her own. Rightly so, because if the slut’s mother didn’t actively undermine her own daughter, she’d be living very alone, as her daughter would marry and be off to be successful in ways that the mother failed. Misery loves company, and I’ve seen quite a good many women who’s failure-of-a-wife mothers tried to instill counter-productive ideologies in attempts to keep the women in the nest. Consider that dynamic and look around in your personal circles: can you see the same “teach you to hate men so you never marry and leave me home all alone” dynamic?
For me, it’s almost cliché: if you should find a man-hating feminist, she’s got a divorced mother that lives alone. The more time a woman is single, the more time she can spend with dear old mother.
It works with mothers on their sons, too. My mother has been caught sabotaging my relationships, and clearly for the same reason: mommy is jealous of other women in the only-man-in-her-life’s life.
April 2nd, 2015 at 1:40 pm
I’m in a similar situation : work like a dog to put a roof over head, food on the table, clothes in the closet, etc. But my wife and I haven’t had sex in years. I now think that the Europeans (especially in the south) have it correct: you only have sex with the wife for procreation. Sex for enjoyment and affection is with the mistress.
April 2nd, 2015 at 1:48 pm
Should I forgive the lying? She changes her passwords weekly now (FB and Yahoo Messenger) and I’m sure she does what she likes when alone. I have no trust as is. If I ask her, she manipulates the conversation to make me feel like I’m an abuser and a busy body. She keeps claiming it is “just friends” that contact her. But, I dont think it is right. A caring nurturing woman would have stopped this without me saying anything. I guess I should walk away. You guys are right.
I told my sister. She keeps claiming I’m jealous and possessive. Funny thing is, I never cared until I saw the evidence right in my face. I could care less to look at her Macbook. I respect her privacy. I just have a rotten feeling about this.
Thank you all.
April 2nd, 2015 at 1:50 pm
Reading your comments I got scared of ever marrying. Wow. I will keep reading.
April 2nd, 2015 at 2:07 pm
@midwestboi
Has her medium of communication changed? If she’s still attention whoring on FB (and even still lying about it), she’s still communicating that she likes attention whoring more than you. So no, don’t forgive it because she’s still deceiving you.
This is why I suggested scuttling the ship. There’s probably no going back to any form of trust between you two, even if you can get some dread going to spark her competition anxiety, the trust issues remain. Better to start over with someone better.
You’re attempting overt communication and rationality with a duplicitous being who lives in a world far from exposure to sunlight. If you want her to like you more than her attention whoring on facebook, that has to be clear to her almost from the beginning. Women don’t communicate overtly, and desire cannot be bargained for. If you’ve confronted her about her FB attention whoring (and RL whoring in the past) and she still denies it, then she has made herself as clear as she’s ever going to make herself. It’s now up to you to take action based on her communication.
She’ll feign confusion, she’ll cry, she’ll insist that she cares about you. But unless she takes real action as a result of your leaving, she’s just lying to keep another beta making her feel good about herself in her life.
Ask your sister if she would ever respect a man who had an uncontrollable addiction to gambling, always denied it, but yet always was finding ways to lose money… rather than spending some on her. Ask her if she would accept denial from the man, and a password changing every week as a result of her discussion. Ask her if she would stay with such a man. If she says yes, she’s lying. If she says no, you’ve demonstrated to her the position you’ve been put in.
It’s nearly the same scenario you’ve painted.
April 2nd, 2015 at 2:08 pm
@midwestboi – I am in a LTR with a quasi angelic girl who does not even use social media, I have all her passwords – not because I spy on her, but because she uses the net only to find out about gardening, health topics, cute puppies & kittens. She is absolutely not into other men.
And even her I would not marry and she accepts that. This is a matter of principle already to me. They have destroyed marriage.
And your girl does not sound even LTR worthy to me – even less worthy of marriage or motherhood. I respect everyone’s privacy and do not pry. Also I am not jealous much – if a girl wants to leave me, then I can get a younger hotter one. But I have no qualms checking out something if I think I am getting conned. If your suspicions are proven wrong, then you can always delete everything and be content living happily ever after.
Also – changing FB passwords every week- WTF? Does she work for the NSA?
April 2nd, 2015 at 2:15 pm
@Midwestboi: “I have no trust as is.”
Well at least you have some sort of a base of good sense. Trust in that. It’s speaking truth.
April 2nd, 2015 at 2:15 pm
@Vulpine
This is part of the damage that feminism has done that no one ever talks about. In pretending that women have no power in society, feminism has convinced huge swaths of females that they are incapable of causing harm to children. They’ve convinced these women that merely their occasional presence is enough to raise children properly and that anything they can do as a mother is completely forgivable and good for the child.
It is a lie.
Women have tremendous social power, and wield it without even realizing it. They use these weapons against their own children as they are convinced they are doing no harm. Nothing could be further from the truth. They form parasitic emotional relationships with sons and daughters alike, wholly sabotaging their chances of forming healthy relationships themselves. They wield the power of shame against children as fathers used to wield hole-drilled paddles against them, doing tremendous damage. They interfere with the decisions of their adult children to keep them around and make up for the parents lack of effort at making new friends themselves.
Society seems to have realized that fathers beating children is bad. But it’s gone the other way w.r.t. how women use their social powers against their children.
April 2nd, 2015 at 2:17 pm
@anon
I’m pretty far from fat. I put on a little buddha over the winter holidays, but, I haven’t been out working on cutting wood and such. My situation is certainly changing, now that it’s spring and I’m out with my “doing stuff clothes” on. There are a lot of “big body moments” involved with homesteading, so, I’m fairly chiseled, ‘cept for my buddha, for now.
My gal is actually quite smart. She is also generally reserved, thinks before speaking, and she responds to my input. Obviously, she’s been too comfortable, so I needed to light a fire under her ass to take advantage of the spring weather and get out and make her fat jiggle. You know, “lead” her to exercise. I just try not to get to far into the “bully” realm with it.
I’ll give her a chance to get back into shape; she’s worth it to me. She isn’t nearly as unappealing as her friends, but, she’s feeling unsexy. I don’t mind a little extra winter hibernation insulation remnants (after all, I’ve done much worse). But if SHE’s feeling unsexy, it’s a boner killer. It’s like getting a BJ from a chick that hates giving BJ’s: it shows, and it’s not as enjoyable. Overall, she despises the typical American Barbie clones that give women a bad name, but she does show sympathies to things like “I want to travel!”
Ok, sure, I want to travel, too. Who doesn’t? Fortunately, and very uncommon in my experience, she demonstrates pragmatism and the ability to not only use logic, but also apply the logic to her emotions when prompted.
I don’t want to just next her, as I’ve been with her for about 5 years, but she’s not sticking around long weighing more than me, and she knows it. More important is that she is DEMONSTRATING that she understands what has to be done. You may want to try and see “oneitis”, but, she’s from another country, and I value her (and her morality) accordingly. She’s on my team, and, well, women that are truly on your team are commodities anymore. If she was a car, she just needs a tune-up, not a rebuild, nor a full-on replacement.
Besides, I like her family, and they like me, too.
So, a little “dread game” after her fat friends throw themselves at me, reinforced with a boner loss, is likely good medicine at a good time.
Other than those dynamics, fuckable women are scarce in this area, so, I’m not in a big hurry to be back out in the game. Ok, sure, “technically, to a guy” fuckable women are all over, but I have standards, like, “weighs less than me”, so…
April 2nd, 2015 at 2:23 pm
@midwestboi
It is impossible for women and men to be “just friends”! That’s a lie and rationalization for your “fiance’s” benefit alone. She should be into you alone and no one else.
As for your sister, she is a woman, too. She sounds as if she’s more interested in playing with the “wedding game”, as a bridesmaid, right? of course your righteosu act of nexting you alleged fiance will spoil her fun and that’s what she cares about, not your long term prospects.
You came over here just in time to prevent a personal catastrophe. Be glad and stickd around. Remember there are always more women in theworld.
April 2nd, 2015 at 2:31 pm
@Rollo
Happy birthday, bro. Wishing you the absolute best in the coming year.
April 2nd, 2015 at 2:35 pm
Jeremy, sounds like you were dragged back-and-forth between divorced parents, too, eh?
I wasn’t exactly a loved-and-cared-for child: I was leverage toward a paycheck, and baggage that cut into that payday, at the same time.
Divorce is not acceptable: it truly is despicable.
My favorite thing to ask a divorced woman is:
“Did you get married in a church?”
If yes…
“Then, you’re a liar, and worthless person.”
after the WTF freakout…
“Because you lied to YOUR god, in HIS house. Shameful!”
April 2nd, 2015 at 2:38 pm
@midwestboi
Since you are new, Here is the background essay to what Jeremy explained.
http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/06/the-medium-is-the-message/
April 2nd, 2015 at 2:42 pm
No, my parents stayed together, and remain together today.
My mother had abuse from her father that was never resolved. My father was not “alpha” enough to force her to confront this and the behaviors it was bringing out early on. And in fact, I believe my father surrendered frame nearly immediately in their relationship (just based on what I know, I believe this to be the case). I actually feel bad for both of them, for as far as I can tell, they made their kids so important that they now have no idea how to make friends again and be individuals. I can’t help them with that though, and realistically my presence just feeds that problem.
But, they’re still together. I believe their relatively easy-going personalities, religion, and lack of income kept them together more than any real passion between them, but I could be wrong.
April 2nd, 2015 at 2:45 pm
Would the litmus test for a woman never liking *you* but rather liking the ego-salving your presence gives her be the fact that she hit the gym AFTER the breakup rather than during?
April 2nd, 2015 at 2:53 pm
@midwestboi read this
http://therationalmale.com/2011/10/28/gut-check/
April 2nd, 2015 at 2:54 pm
@Zelcorpion
Also – changing FB passwords every week- WTF? Does she work for the NSA?
Yeah this tripped my slutty sense hard. I work for a defense contractor where I have to be pretty paranoid about security, and even I don’t go that far. She’s up to something skeevy, no doubt in my mind. Anyone going to that kind of effort has shit to hide.
@midwestboi
The other guys here are giving good advice. I’m of the belief that if you’re not married before you come to Red Pill truths about the world, you’re best off ending any relationships you established while still Blue Pill. At the very least, end the engagement, see if you can push her to plate status. It sounds like you’ve got a typical disappointment waiting to happen.
Nobody here is trying to scare you, we just want more guys to make informed decisions. Read more, improve yourself more, and think really hard about what you really want to do with your life completely and totally regardless of what she wants. You are what’s important. Don’t let anyone shame you in to thinking otherwise. If this woman won’t completely support and compliment everything you do in the way you want her to, don’t marry her.
Your commitment is the only prize you have to give women. She really sounds like she’s done very little to earn that prize and will do absolutely nothing to keep it. That’s a sign that she’s not worthy of it.
April 2nd, 2015 at 3:06 pm
@midwestboi
“She changes her passwords weekly…”
how do you know this?
April 2nd, 2015 at 3:18 pm
Nah, Jeremy. Chicks only workout after a relationship is done because, instead of thinking “I can do whatever and get away with it”, they realize “Holy shit! Look at how disgusting I am! I’ll never find another guy like this!”
It’s a matter of being complacent, then getting tossed out and having to face reality. The truth is, they’ll never admit to themselves that they are “fat”, only “overweight”, no matter how many extra pounds they have. Moreover, the weight just *PooF* was there, and she’s a victim of the fat: a woman is never the reason for her fatness. No, it will be the boogeyman’s fault, or some dude’s “abuse”, or it’s work’s fault, or High Fructose Corn Syrup’s fault, or “Stress”, or the baby’s fault, but never a result of her over-eating, under-exercising actions.
Fat chicks in England must have it pretty rough. I’d be going around and holding out my hand to fat people all the time: “Can you spare a pound?”
April 2nd, 2015 at 3:20 pm
I might have exaggerated about weekly. But it is very often. She does not use her FB and Messenger apps at my place anymore ( because I looked she claims), and when I asked her to see her FB page she could not get in because she kept forgetting the new password.
Thank you all
April 2nd, 2015 at 3:25 pm
“Thank you all”
We’re not here to hate women; we’re here for this. You’re welcome, and thank you for listening.
April 2nd, 2015 at 3:29 pm
@Sun Wukong
^^ great way to sum that up.
@Vulpine
Well, what then would be an easy, but unmistakable sign that a girl was never really into you? Obviously, if she really gets the tingles from you, and you withdraw or threaten to leave, she will take action. But what if she used to feel that way, and no longer does; or what if she never did but you were too blue-pill to understand… then shouldn’t there be an unmistakable signal that she only had you around for validation?
April 2nd, 2015 at 3:31 pm
@midwestboi
“when I asked her to see her FB page”
why are you doing this?
if you are mate guarding this relationship is doomed
April 2nd, 2015 at 3:35 pm
Far from learning to hate women here, Rollo Tomassi has done more to help me appreciate women than any other person on earth.
Hate springs from frustration and ignorance. Knowing true female nature lets me appreciate them far more than I would have otherwise. Women may be ashamed of their true nature, but that is no justification for hiding it from men.
If I wandered into the savanna with a polka-dot knapsack, tin cans rattling overhead and a beginners guide to lions, trying to appreciate the lions… I would probably get eaten inside of a few hours. If instead I spent a few years with the natives, learned the ways of surviving around what can kill me, and set out with visual and olfactory camoflage and real knowledge, I’ll get far closer and appreciate the beasts there all the more.
April 2nd, 2015 at 3:36 pm
Your sister is giving you horrible advice. Not her fault. She’s a woman and she’s simply 100% feminist-brainwashed as are 100% of her peers her age.
“That’s normal.” That doesn’t make it right.
You’re “jealous and possessive.” This is a feminist FI gobbely gook attack on men. You should be “jealous and possessive” of your fiance/wife. You are giving her your life, literally, and she has no obligation in return. There is no marriage “contract” anymore. It’s illusory; only the man has obligations.
“Until death do us part”? Those are just some words she said, and she has the ability under the law to take your children after saying “I wish he would just disappear” to the marriage counselor, even if you have two baby daughters of (of course) need their father. She then might take $300,000 of your earnings (after tax dollars) over the first 6 years after the “no fault” divorce, which you will pay to protect your children from the fact that their mother is, herself, just a large child. You will see your kids 9 overnights per month if you are lucky.
It will be your kids who suffer, their lives forever altered. Only you will understand this fact; your wife will not be able to understand it, literally, let alone agree with it.
Women literally think men are expendable, even after they become fathers. Women do not understand that fathers are needed. They do not behave unless the law and mores forces them too. The current law and mores (pushed aggressively by MSM) has encouraged women to be awful, and they are. There are no women under 29 today worthy of being mothers.
A certain group of controlling people has made it that way on purpose, but they don’t like it when I name names around here.
Really wake up and realize how terrible the matrix is.
Also, women and men who have had sex can be friends: when the man did the dumping. This by definition makes him an alpha, but this is bad for you, beta, because it also means she respects him (unlike her beta orbiters) and she will gladly be his fuck buddy and booty call whenever he wants it.
So no they cannot be “just friends” in the way your bitch of a fiance is wants you to believe.
April 2nd, 2015 at 3:41 pm
just to be clear, being “jealous and possessive” does not mean demanding to see her facebook page or knowing her password or (jesus christ) secretly entering it to spy on her when she’s not there.
it’s just that you should be a man such that she does not get her joy from attention whoring with beta orbiters online.
or if she is actually having sex with other dudes, then (1) run extra fast and (2) you are super duper low beta to not know this is happening while being engaged to her.
what is your age and her age?
this beta midwesboi has a long way to go.
April 2nd, 2015 at 3:42 pm
“To become a billionaire (as noted above) requires numerous Alpha traits. This is not bullshit. It is in a totally different league from a guy that’s a millionaire or even a hundred millionaire. You can still be Blue Pill and be a billionaire though. You are by all accounts high quality, yet can be dangerously Blue Pill”
Sun Wukong is correct. The landscape is littered with men who are confident, dominant, prestigious, and competent in every area of their lives EXCEPT intersexual relationships. It’s like they’re two different people.
These are men who know how to run businesses and crush competition with iron fists in the boardroom. At work they will just as soon cut a rival’s throat as look at him. These are men who are high earners and can purchase whatever they’d like.
With their wives, they are quintessential blue pill — obsequious, fawning, supplicating, pedestalizing. They beg for sex. They treat their women like delicate flowers. They say “yes dear, anything you say, dear”. They presume men and women are just the same except for their reproductive organs. They purchase whatever their wives want. Their wives treat them like shit and take them for granted.
April 2nd, 2015 at 3:47 pm
For an example of Deti’s excellent point… just look at: Donald Sterling, Tiger Woods, Donald Trump, etc..etc…
Never forget that just because a man is successful in one area of his life, does not mean he’s not entirely incompetent in some other area. In fact it usually means the opposite, it usually means that man has sacrificed valuable experience and insight in all areas but one.
April 2nd, 2015 at 3:49 pm
midwestboi:
Good advice from the crowd. Break this engagement. Dump this woman. DO IT NOW.
Don’t get married.
April 2nd, 2015 at 3:49 pm
@midwestboi
Ashes divide forever can be (makes me think of blue vs red) a little of your situation
It must’ve been very hard
To have lived and never learnt
To be content with who you are
We all want the same things don’t we
To find the one who opens channels to our hearts
A path you never found upon your own.
Forever can be…
Something to believe in…
But this was one of those times
Forever can be…
Something to bleed for…
But this is one of those times
So you dug deep down inside yourself
You revealed an old man
So pained to be what makes you who you are
We all want you to see the you we see
The one that carries the worlds tragedies alone
The cross you choose to bear upon your own.
Forever can be…
Something to believe in…
Wish this was one of those times.
Forever can be…
Something to bleed for…
And this is one of those times, for those you left behind.
Save the world so you don’t have to save yourself.
You save the world so you don’t have to look at yourself.
And fill the void left inside your fragile hearts.
Those haunted images never left you alone……..
Forever can be…
Something to believe in…
This was one of those times
Forever can be…
Something to believe for…
Now this is one of those times.
April 2nd, 2015 at 3:52 pm
midwestboi:
A man should never, ever listen to any advice about intersexual relationships from any woman — especially not from his mother and sisters.
Don’t listen to your sister about this. DO NOT listen to her about this.
April 2nd, 2015 at 3:53 pm
Midwestboi
I have a question for you
When she comes home does her breath smells like come?
If yes, ask her why.
April 2nd, 2015 at 3:57 pm
@anon
“There are no women under 29 today worthy of being mothers.”
That’s so true it almost makes me wanna cry from raw rage. Well said brother well said
April 2nd, 2015 at 4:01 pm
Jeremy, I don’t think it’s always a good indication of disrespect, but bad habits, like baking delicious pies and cobblers, or eating ice cream before bed time. It’s hard to tell a chick, “quit baking me so many yummy confections!” or, “stop feeding me all these carbs!” and be taken seriously. Sometimes it gets to “get skinny, or get out” before it actually registers to women as a problem.
Even then, women’s hedonistic minds don’t like to accept responsibility. After all, it just doesn’t feel good to be wrong, so they project the responsibility: that feels much better. The “hamster” is a hedonist, simply put. You can see that “whatever feels best” rationalization all the time with women. AF/BB? Hedonism. Cock Carousel? Hedonism. Feminism? Sexist hedonism. “I don’t know what happened. One minute, I was drunk at the bar, the next minute, I was in the bathroom with a cock in my mouth. I think I was drugged!” No, hedonism. Figure out hedonism, and you’ve got women figured out, too: it’s a woman’s primary default “religion”.
midwestboi:
When I played Halo a lot, chatted with my buddies for hours, and blew off the porky chick I was with, I had a “problem” of “loser” proportions.
But, when the same chick sits down on the same computer and shares pictures of roses with feel-good misandry typed over it for hours, she’s “popular”.
Fuck that double standard, and welcome to the Red Pill, midwestboi.
Hey, you don’t live in Michigan, do you?
April 2nd, 2015 at 4:13 pm
Midwestbou
1,
Does she talk to you as if you’re her little brother?
2,do you struggle with her to give you a BJ and does she swallows?
If yes,
You have 2 options
1,Run to the hills
2,keep running.
April 2nd, 2015 at 4:14 pm
@ everyone
So much to digest. I’m overwhelmed.
April 2nd, 2015 at 4:19 pm
Heh, among the crew I sail with I believe I am one of two men who are not married. The other guy is only 17, so I’m stretching the definition a bit. I regularly get comments from one guy in particular ( as well as all the age 29+ women who occasionally sail with us, or chat with us before/after) that I’m somehow just missing out. Or that I’m clearly “the lifelong bachelor.” I get the standard comments like, “married men live longer,” “you just don’t know what you’re missing,” “ah, ignorant single guy speaks,” etc…
It is almost as instructional as reading TRM listening to what these guys say. There’s this one guy in particular… literally a beta white knight in the flesh, who acts like it’s his duty to discredit my singleness. I’m convinced that his wife actually encourages this by doing the same when she hears about who he sails with. This guy came onto the boat after getting off the phone with his wife telling me how fantastic it was that he had caught his wife (before we left the dock) to tell her that he would be home later than expected (they had extended the regatta some, and we would be doing 4 races that day, instead of 3). This started a conversation among the married men about how they get antsy when they are coming home and they know they’re late, vs their anger/frustration during the times when they expect their wife to be home around a certain time and they (by accident or intent) end up being home before their wife got home. My eyes probably opened up some hearing this conversation, it literally sounded like slaves bitching about their problems keeping their masters happy. I couldn’t resist chiming in and I said, “There is an easy solution to your problem… stop caring so much what she thinks.”
They laughed at me. lol.
April 2nd, 2015 at 4:31 pm
“I might have exaggerated about weekly. But it is very often. She does not use her FB and Messenger apps at my place anymore ( because I looked she claims), and when I asked her to see her FB page she could not get in because she kept forgetting the new password.
Thank you all”
LOL, dude, this relationship will never last. Don’t marry her.
1. She did not forget her password. She didn’t want you to see her page so she lied and pretended to forget her password. The genius host of this blog did a recent post explaining why you beta male rationalized your way into believing her. (or is that the one he just posted in the comments section today, telling you to read?).
2. you are lower beta already, in her eyes, for asking to see her page and also for having, in the past, logged into her account, which she obviously knows, and then lying to her and even us anonymous men here on the internet about it. Her “claim” that you looked at it is correct, right? Be honest.
3. So you lied about spying on her, and then she lied about forgetting her password. Great start to a marriage.
Read everything on this blog as fast as you can. To be clear, this is not man blaming or being harsh on you. Your instincts that a facebook attention whore with, what, 20 partners at age 23 (???) — I get the impression you are both young millenials.
@rugby: thanks. Nice to find some men who “get it” and don’t wrongly call me “bittter cause can’t get laid.” It’s true.
I was divorced raped, but I was 34 at the time (married at 28) and have always lifted, can get new girls, and have done so. Now at 40 after discovering game, even more so. But I have also spent the last few years really reading this blog and others like CH — and then, look around.
Simply go on tinder and look at women under 29. A sad sad state of affairs. They are on the CC and wildly proud of it. Tatted up, nose rings, all of them. Completely, utterly, brainwashed into FI and feminism far worse than Gen X was (and Gen X women are a failed generation getting ready to grow old alone with cats). Completely far left brainwashed. A large % of them are trying to be vegans! (terrible motherhood potential right there). Just not even close to being fit to be wives and mothers.
And I’m talking 29 year old. Close to 30, which used to be a key date for them. Now they have moved the party years back to include an extra 5 years, to 35 (unless the get knocked up on accident).
So some well meaning men say “get ’em when they are 18 or 22 and marry a virgin.” lzozllzlzo it can’t be done, because 100% of them are brainwashed into thinking they are still children even at 26 — not ready for marriage yet. At least in cities, where let’s face it most of us have to work (and I enjoy city life, and that’s where the physically attractive single women are).
Anyway sorry for all the long comments today Rollo.
But just go on tinder and look at women under 29 and tell me if you see one who is fit to be a mother.
The answer is none of them, but (still not hating women) as Rollo always says, not their fault. All of this is biological.
What has happened now is that law and mores no longer control them or allow us to control them, and in fact MSM encourages them strongly to be like the new Miley Cyrus. Cut hair, tats, gross, in bed with 7 black men in all her videos, don’t need no man, etc.
Nothing I say is even debatable. Just look at culture today–what is pushed constantly on MSM. Why have blogs like this and CH been created in the past 7 years? Every man gets this (even successful players who enjoy lots of sex with many different women will sometimes talk about it) — and NO woman even notices or understands that what is going on right now is simply wrong and bad for children and women in the long run.
The marriage strike is real. Women have been liberated, we see the results, and in 15 years exponentially more men will have discovered this blog and there will be no men willing to marry. And the pendulum will shift back the other way?
What women have done to children and good fathers the past 15 years with “no fault” divorce, alone, should be cause for a MAJOR news media firestorm a zillion times more than the fake Trayvon Martin BS, and yet we might see Hillary Clinton as president, who just tweeted some BS about wanting to violate the constitutional right of freedom of association (private business does not have to accept gay marriage as customers).
The left really is an evil religious cult. Instead of promoting one woman/one man, family, children, and civilization as this country was founded on, the leftist religion promotes lies about biology, hatred of truth, censorship, loss of livelihood for any white man who dares go against the narrative control, gay marriage, “equalism” that is an obvious lie, and shaming women for wanting to be wives and mothers.
April 2nd, 2015 at 4:38 pm
@midwestboi
My initial reply was very blunt and brief but that’s because I 1)knew these other guys would do a better job of explaining the why and 2) I think on some level you knew the answer already. We all have gut instincts. Our gut instincts usually signal or warn us of danger or threat before the brain does. Our gut sends more signals to the brain then the brain does to our gut. The majority of the serotonin produced in our bodies comes from our enteric nervous system (your gut). Listen to your gut Trust your gut instincts! Your brain will try to create excuses…your sister…other women…feminism…society all will feed you a bunch of bullshit. If your gut tells you something ain’t right…something ain’t right.
April 2nd, 2015 at 4:43 pm
“The marriage strike is real. Women have been liberated, we see the results, and in 15 years exponentially more men will have discovered this blog and there will be no men willing to marry. ”
I personally think the de-facto way to say this should just be
Study the American Black family’s history from 1960 – present. Look at the results of the destruction of the black family, entitlement of black women, and the resulting stereo-typical black woman and black man today, and their relationships.. and you will see exactly where it is heading for the rest of us men.
http://www.returnofkings.com/2090/how-black-america-has-predicted-our-future
http://www.discoverthenetworks.org/viewSubCategory.asp?id=1672
It’s no wonder the black dudes are way more advanced players than the rest..
April 2nd, 2015 at 4:47 pm
@midwestboi April 2nd, 2015 at 4:14 pm
“So much to digest. I’m overwhelmed.”
It is owerwhelming. But relax you have lot’s of options and lots of time to look in to the Manosphere. The Manosphere has been developing from roots planted 14 years ago and you just happened to stumble into what the BluePillProfessor called “The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi is in a category by itself- the intellectual tour-de-force of the entire manosphere and TRP theory.
The Rational Male is a graduate course level of writing by Rollo and most of the commentators here have been here for some time and understand the red pill praexeolgy and lexicon very well. There is a LOT of background material that went in to the comments that are being made for you.
The important thing to realize is that almost everyone is giving you advice they wish the would have gotten earlier in life.
Don’t let it make your head spin. Start with the basics. Read Rollo’s books from the beginning. If you don’t have time now nearly all of the content in his first book is in the link on top of the home page entitled The Best of the Rational Male Year One. Go through it in order. The concepts build on themselves. Unfortunately for you he rarely re-describes former thoughts and essays, but provides links to these former essays. Doing so benefits current readers and prevents redundancy.
If you are having trouble with common sayings and acronyms frequently used the Blogroll links to on the main page is a link to Manosphere Appendix of Acronyms.
http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2i42pq/revised_glossary_of_terms_and_acronyms/
Rollo’s self stated reason for this blog is to get the word out to those such as you so you don’t make mortal mistakes. He has zero profit motive in the endeavor.
If you would like I can refer you to some beginner books. Although it would take about 12-18 months for red pill truths to sink in and for you to allow you to want to keep the red pill down and not have be like Cypher in the Matrix and want to barf it up and go back to Blue Pill coziness.
April 2nd, 2015 at 4:51 pm
@Vulpine: some women do work out without prompting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaQp3-TbaVs.
Show this to your woman.
@ everyone else: there is an entire section of youtube with these super fit fitness model women doing their workouts — very impressive.
Does not prove my point about “no women fit to be mothers” today — each of these women is perhaps aged 23 to 29 or 32 — would pass on good genes… none of them, of course, is close to within 8,000 miles of accepting the idea that she should have a kid at any time prior to when she is 35 years old. It’s “me me me me me me me” all the time and of course it’s all about their instagram attention whoring.
The women who would get married and have kids, perhaps, as some women sometimes point out in comment sections, are 230 pounders, and men are not wrong to not want them as wives either.
April 2nd, 2015 at 4:54 pm
“The important thing to realize is that almost everyone is giving you advice they wish the would have gotten earlier in life.”
This. Dude, you are lucky. The world is your oyster. You are young and there are thousands of sexy women for you.
Discovering this stuff after getting married, having kids, and getting divorced while being blue pill/beta? That’s a life-destroying hell.
You have the ability to dump this girl AND get a new hottie to flaunt in her face within ONE WEEK, easily. You just don’t know it.
April 2nd, 2015 at 5:08 pm
@anon “and shaming women that want to be” its one of the few times in public where I walk away
Out of all the things that comes with the red pill that’s the saddest truth to accept about it. It’s kinda like saying hey be gay loved dick if your a guy if your a women go out and fuck!
But to a young women to be brutalized for wanting to raise children?
That’s not just political that’s dehumanzing
April 2nd, 2015 at 5:32 pm
” some women do work out without prompting”
She’s a pro. That’s not without prompting, that’s a girl having to make a living.
April 2nd, 2015 at 6:28 pm
I think I’ve figured out the greatest thing I could do for mankind.
I should figure out how to create a virus that permanently alters the DNA of every human on the planet to have a new trait. If their height:weight ratio goes to overweight, they just keel over instantly. None of this getting to obese anymore. Motherfuckers just die.
April 2nd, 2015 at 6:40 pm
Done with CMQ podcast. 2 hours 20 minutes. Mentioned this thread in example.
April 2nd, 2015 at 6:41 pm
@Jeremy
“Well, what then would be an easy, but unmistakable sign that a girl was never really into you? Obviously, if she really gets the tingles from you, and you withdraw or threaten to leave, she will take action. But what if she used to feel that way, and no longer does; or what if she never did but you were too blue-pill to understand… then shouldn’t there be an unmistakable signal that she only had you around for validation?”
I think you’re looking for a certainty that can’t ever really exist. There can be indications but not certainty; women edit their pasts and how they once felt about things to accommodate their current reality, and they genuinely believe their edited version. They live in the now.
Just like how a girl’s perspective on her party years genuinely becomes “I was immature” and “I learned so much about myself, it made me who I am today” during her epiphany stage.
April 2nd, 2015 at 6:43 pm
@Rollo
Damn, that sounds like a bear!
Happy birthday! I’m not sure what whiskey brands you designed, but I’ll make a reasonable guess at it and raise a glass to ya!
April 2nd, 2015 at 6:57 pm
Don’t want to comment wall y’all here, but I just wanted to say, @Vulpine , good stories this week! You have good examples of holding frame without giving off that tacky PUA paper alpha vibe. Or the ‘skittles guy’ style sociopath vibe.
I happen to base in Michigan. If midwestboi is here too we could throw him through the gauntlet, ha.
April 2nd, 2015 at 6:57 pm
http://www.tapwhisky.com/
April 2nd, 2015 at 7:22 pm
@Rollo
Truly Canadian
Does that mean it apologizes if it burns?
April 2nd, 2015 at 7:26 pm
What are yoo talkin aboot?
April 2nd, 2015 at 7:27 pm
http://www.ultimate-beverage.com/ultimate-spirits-challenge-USC/2015-spirits-results/details/7444/
Another great birthday present.
April 2nd, 2015 at 8:05 pm
Ha! I guessed right.
April 2nd, 2015 at 8:05 pm
Rollo,
Just bought Preventive Medicine on Kindle, am about halfway through. I debated buying it because I have been reading your blog for years now, so I have many if not all of the posts which form the basis of it. However, I am glad I did because I find the format and your additions to it are helping make things more clear for me.
Been reading Red Pill stuff for, what? 5 years now, maybe more, and while it has been highly informative. I am finding, as you mention often, how hard it is to truly shift the mental paradigm to not just understand, but *accept* what it means.
This post is particularly well timed, because it seems like I have managed to dig a little deeper, and gotten a better understanding of the Red Pill Truth. Well, perhaps a better acceptance is a better way to phrase it, because the counter-programming indeed runs deep.
I am in a marriage which a lot of guys would view as not bad compared to many, but the “mismatched” libido phenomenon is certainly prevalent. My wife has nowhere near the level of interest in sex that I do. Only when she hits her ovulation phase does she express any sort of feral desire, and it is more like a house-cat than a leopard if you know what I mean. She thinks it is normal. I, no shock, don’t care if it’s normal…all I know is I am unhappy with it.
Her friends husbands apparently have it worse. It is kind of like a five minute pump while she lies there, task done. My wife does put some kind of effort in, so I can’t imagine what the hell that’s like.
I guess, slowly, I am really start to accept the realities of the situation.
I think the one thing in Preventative Medicine that may have made the most impact toward deep RP acceptance so far is the Dominance Models sections, particularly the graphs. Particularly this one:
MAN ===> WOMAN ===> CHILDREN
Something about that clicked with me, making it possible to view this whole dynamic not with hostility, but objectivity.
Why?
Not exactly sure. I began thinking about it, and I think I somehow was able to sink my thinking deeper into the biomechanics of it, viewing it as simply a biological fact. No ego investment you might call it, but simply looking it objectively.
Following that, I think I am getting the folly of expecting the unnatural flow of these (Not all yours, bear with me):
WOMAN CHILDREN
MAN CHILDREN
MAN WOMAN*
I included the last one for my own illustrative purposes. Basically, the last one would indicate a Model where parents DON’T parent, and instead use children for emotional support, care-taking, etc. I think most people would recognize, and be repulsed by, a parent/child relationship which is turned on it’s head, where children are required to fill the needs of parents. I am not even talking incest (although taken to an extreme, it occurs) but even just situations where children are forced into care-taking and nurturing roles for immature, irresponsible, selfish parents.
My point in including it is because it helps me understand the issue here. Like it or not, the dynamic:
MAN ===> WOMAN ===> CHILDREN
When properly calibrated, works THIS way, and fighting against it is not only futile, but counter-productive. It’s as destructive as not being a parent to a child, no matter what modern social theory on parenting might be.
So, I may not be happy that the flow does not go both ways, but denying it serves not purpose. Getting angry about it serves no purpose; kind of like getting pissed off that it gets cold ever winter.
No, even being NOT HAPPY about it is still not getting it.
( “There is no spoon” just popped into my head…)
It also helps understand the flip which occurs after marriage, particularly with the birth of children. Question: Do you think the dynamic, in some way, goes from this:
MAN WOMAN
To This:
MAN ===> WOMAN ===> CHILDREN
Like a charge changing its polarity, once children are born, a woman’s innate programming informs her to switch her attendance to the offspring, which, in a way, makes sense, even for the father, who has genetic skin in the game. I am not refuting your idea that woman love opportunistically, but that they are programmed to invest (I am not sure if that is the right term) in a man in terms of affection, care, nurturing, simply to flip that switch while children emerge.
Another question I have is, don’t men have their own version of “loving opportunistically”? By that I mean mostly along the sexual lines; ie, men are programmed to be able to take advantage of sexual opportunities whenever presented. Part of the FI’s programming and agenda has been attempting to shut that down through various means. The most recent would be the criminalizing of male sexual desire on college campuses, where they create a climate of fear for men simply pursuing, or just taking advantage of opportunities presented.
Okay, I guess a better term would be “fucking opportunistically”.
One of my biggest Blue Pill habits as a younger man was NOT taking advantage of those opportunities, some even right in my face, due to conditioning about morality, pedestalizing, etc. That cost me, not only in pleasurable experiences, but also limiting my view of female sexuality when the desire was of a higher quality, which seems to fit in with Beta programming (he won’t miss what he doesn’t know exists).
Anyway, I am obviously still working this out, but thanks for the work and the insight.
April 2nd, 2015 at 8:05 pm
@ Happy B’day Sensei!
April 2nd, 2015 at 8:06 pm
*@Rollo
April 2nd, 2015 at 8:09 pm
Man, I thought I was reaching with that guess. The aesthetics just seemed right I suppose.
Good stuff. Even though it’s Canadian, it kinda feels like an American answer to Sortilege.
http://www.sortilegewhisky.com/en/prestige/
April 2nd, 2015 at 8:09 pm
@Rollo
Hehe, might give the stuff a try this weekend. Perhaps while I sit outside in the nice weather and listen to the show.
April 2nd, 2015 at 8:10 pm
Hmmm, some of my ‘charts’ were off.
WOMAN CHILDREN
MAN CHILDREN
MAN WOMAN*
Should have looked like this:
WOMAN CHILDREN
MAN CHILDREN
MAN WOMAN
And MAN WOMAN like this:
MAN WOMAN
April 2nd, 2015 at 8:13 pm
Well, fuck…teaches me not to learn HTML…
Anyway, MAN WOMAN was supposed to have arrows flowing between the two…
And the first one the arrows were supposed flow from CHILDREN to WOMAN and MAN.
April 2nd, 2015 at 8:26 pm
@Seraph
Nice stream-of-consciousness epiphany there.
The dynamic you describe is crucial. You don’t need to disrespect women as human beings or any radical shit like that, but it’s amazing how much more naturally things flow with them if you just gain a sort of consciousness of their noise and drama as so much hubbub. It doesn’t merit your emotional investment. Listen for consistent patterns and actual thoughts/observations; pay no mind to the rest of it, except to play and tease with it.
Of course, understanding this is a corrective against supplication; some degree of sympathy and comforting isn’t to be avoided, if it comes from a solid frame…. frame is everything. And everything is nuance.
April 2nd, 2015 at 9:50 pm
Thank you all for your time and advice. You have been a source of hope.
Have a good evening.
April 2nd, 2015 at 9:55 pm
@midwestboi
Listen to these @Rollo, @vulpine, @sun, @thedeti and everyone else. They speak nothing but truth and are willing to teach and share with those who are ready to listen! Be ready to listen!
Leaving the Matrix is hard but it makes you stronger and, just like Neo in the movies ,you begin to see the underlying code that governs the SMP and if you can see it, you are now better off than all the Betas, Gammas, Omegas, and Incels around.
These teachings improve lives and relationships. Rollo et. al have helped me. They can help you too
If you’re not happy now in your LTR, you never will be. Once you get married, she will do nothing but be on Facebook 24/7, planning “Girls Night Out” in Vegas and telling you her phone died so she didn’t take a single picture. My guess is that she’ll be meeting up with one of those FB “just friends” for his buddy’s bachelor party.
It won’t get better until you change your frame. And once you’ve done changed your frame, you won’t care who she talks to because you’ll have moved on to a better life.
Read. Listen. Absorb. Learn. Apply. Good luck to you and thanks to Rollo and all the commenters for what you do.
April 2nd, 2015 at 10:06 pm
@ Lucien and @forge the sky
Yup. You guys are getting what I’m saying a little more now.
AND @MIDWEST
Same thing happened to me with my ex and she ended up breaking up with me.
ASK YOURSELF THIS AND TELL US:
IS SHE DENYING YOU SEX EVER? OR SAYING “I HAVE A STOMACH ACHE NOT TONIGHT”????
If so start flings with other girls ASAP.
April 2nd, 2015 at 10:08 pm
The answer to that question will TELL YOU WHAT TO DO believe you
No? You’re chill probably
Yes? Run for other girls
April 2nd, 2015 at 10:08 pm
@Forge thanks, those are my aesthetics.
April 2nd, 2015 at 10:11 pm
Well, gentlemen, if you’re following today’s thread here’s an early gift for doing so:
http://amanindemandradio.podbean.com/e/episode-1-rollo-tomassi-interview/
April 2nd, 2015 at 10:12 pm
Solipsism.
She is happy without sex, therefore everyone else is too.
It’s also why the bottom 80% of men are invisible. Women can get sex on tap, therefore all men can too.
April 2nd, 2015 at 10:15 pm
On a side note: why the fuck does anybody worth over 8 figures ever get married? I really can’t figure this shit out.
Girlfriend: I’m going to leave you if you don’t marry me.
Me (as a billionaire): Hold on, let me pull out my phone and call your replacement. It’s so hard to choose. There’s like a few thousand of them in here seeing as I’m a fucking billionaire and all…
I mean seriously what the hell?
She probably will leave billionaire you. She’s there for the money and only marriage gives her control of the money. If it looks like you’re not going to marry her there’s no point in staying. You’re probably a lot worse off than an average (from a financial standpoint) guy.