I came across another familiar story on the TRP Reddit this week. It’s familiar because this story is becoming increasingly more common as Hypergamy becomes a more open secret that women can no longer keep under wraps.
For the better part of 2014, and in Preventive Medicine, I explored the social trend of Open Hypergamy and the impact it’s beginning to effect on contemporary western(ized) culture. In that exploration I published Saving the Best (another TRP link), a story which revolved around the increasingly more common post-Epiphany Phase “regrets” women have when their Party Years indiscretions are made evident to the Beta men who committed to them in monogamy or marriage.
Have a read of Saving the Best before you continue here, you’ll see the commonalities immediately. I’m going to dissect this “confession” a bit as I go, but bear in mind this woman’s predicament is the direct result of the unintentional Red Pill awareness that Open Hypergamy has brought men to – even uninitiated Beta men.
An update, for those asking for it. Here’s the link to my original post although the text has been deleted? Before I get into the details, I’d just like to say I greatly appreciate the support this community extended me. Believe it or not, I read every response.
As of this morning, we still hadn’t slept in the same bed or spoken more than 10 words to each other in passing. As I was waking up, he was walking in the front door with two coffees. He sat me down at our kitchen table and finally opened up to me.
Basically he feels that he was “conned” (his word) into the marriage, saying that he wouldn’t have even dated me, let alone married me, if he’d known what he knows now. His view of me has been irreparably changed and he no longer sees me “as someone worthy of being [his] wife”. (quoting him here… fucking prick) Beyond the sexual aspect, he says he no longer trusts me because I “kept something this big” from him our whole relationship.
One of the primary disconnects women are conditioned to believe during their Epiphany Phase is that a “good man” will be willing to forgive and forget her past indiscretions. On their journey of self-exploration and discovery women are encouraged to adopt a finely tuned cognitive dissonance with who they conveniently become and what should be the consequences of their pasts. While men are expected to live up to their responsibilities as men, and are expected to own up to the consequences of their failures, at the Epiphany Phase women are encouraged to convince themselves that they become someone else – someone who was “so different” from who she was in her Party Years.
Her husband feels “conned” because he was conned; conned after discovering the dual personality of his pre and post Epiphany Phase wife. What we’re expected to believe here (courtesy of the social conventions emplaced by the Feminine Imperative) is that her husband is some prudish, moralistic throwback unwilling to accept and embrace the “real” her – the one who was trying to “get it right” by turning over a new leaf with him. This is the easy, ready-to-use shame that women have available to them; if a man becomes indignant over a woman’s sexual past it translates into his insecurities as a man. His feeling conned over his bait & switch marriage is redirected to being his problem.
Men aren’t off the hook with that convenient convention either. There’s a moral high ground many men want to claim and cast the actions of a guy in this circumstance as virtuous and a proper revenge for being mislead. While that may feel good, men in this situation aren’t disillusioned with their ‘unworthy’ wives from a moral pretense, but rather that they believed they would be entitled to their wives’ sexual best reserved for him. As I quoted in Saving the Best, they “marry a whore who fucks like a prude.”
Subjectively that may or may not be the case, but it’s the freedom and genuine desire with which their wives had sex with prior (Alpha) lovers; desire that wasn’t based on material provisioning, emotional investment or the logistical hoops women expect their post-Epiphany “good men” to perform to in order to merit their sexual and intimate attentions. That’s the disconnect, that’s the con; Alpha Bad Boys get her 3-Way genuine sexual abandon with no investment expected, while he’s got to maintain ‘multiple businesses’ in order to get a prosaic sexual experience with her. The Bad Boys got her sexual best for free, while he’s expected to accept her as the ‘new’ post-Epiphany her…
Nothing I could do or say could convince him that these were past mistakes and not reflective of who I am today. He wasn’t angry with me, didn’t call me a slut or anything like that. Never once raised his voice. Part of me wishes he did, although I can’t exactly say why right now. It felt like I was being laid off from a job.
As I mentioned, the expectation is for her husband to accept “who she is today”, yet who she was ten years ago had a more genuine desire for less established, but sexually arousing, lovers. I’m going to speculate here, but it’s likely that a man who owns multiple businesses spent more of his time diligently and (I presume) responsibly cultivating those enterprises than the men his wife took as lovers ten years ago. Again, we can see that as a moral virtue on his part, but there’s a root indignation of what her past represents within the context of his (I assume) responsible past.
And like a good business owner he plays the confrontation calmly and collectedly. The part of her that wishes he’d raised his voice is the same part that got excited by the Alpha indifference of her former lovers.
So that’s it. We are getting divorced. My supposed life-partner turning his back on me without a second thought. He didn’t even have the decency to discuss it with me first – apparently he visited his lawyer during the week and “the process is in motion” (his words). Knowing him, there is absolutely no changing his mind.
My husband owns multiple businesses and wouldn’t get married without a prenup. I signed it, honest-to-god thinking we’d never, EVER have to use it. Well, he had the fucking document with him this morning. He said he’d pay off the remainder of my student loans, which he isn’t “legally obligated” to do. While I appreciate that, I am going to meet with my lawyer this week and see if the agreement can be challenged in court. We have built a life together, I gave him 5 of the best years of my life and I’ve been 100% faithful to him – I don’t fucking deserve to be tossed out like a piece of trash.
So that’s it. My life turned upside-down in the span of a week, over something I did 10+ YEARS AGO BEFORE I EVEN KNEW HIM. It’s fucking asinine. The thing is, even as I wrote the original post, in the back of my mind I knew he was through with me. He’s ended friendships and business partnerships over less.
Ghosts of Epiphanies Past
In Preventive Medicine I go into a bit of detail about men in this increasingly common circumstance. There is a subconscious expectation on the part of Beta men who find themselves at or just past women’s Epiphany Phase, that predisposes them to believing that what they’ve become as a result of their perseverance throughout their 20’s has now come to fruition and the women who ignored them then have now matured to a point where he’s the ‘sexy’ one at last.
Unless men have a moment of clarity or a Red Pill initiation of their own prior to this, what they don’t accept is that this expectation is a calculated conditioning of the Feminine Imperative to prepare him for women like this; women who can no longer sexually compete for the Alpha Fucks they enjoyed in their Party Years. The Feminine Imperative teaches him that he can expect a woman’s “real” sexual best from the “real” her – why else would she agree to a lifelong marriage if he weren’t the optimal choice to settle down with? Why wouldn’t she be even more sexual than in her past with the man she’s chosen to spend her life with and have children with?
That is the message the Feminine Imperative used to subtly and indirectly imply to Betas-in-waiting. Now with the comfort of Open Hypergamy this message is published in best selling books by influential women:
“When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier.”
― Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead
Not to belabor Sandberg yet again (she has been hocking the tired out Choreplay meme recently), but this is essentially the outline of the script we’re reading in this woman’s lament. She’s essentially followed Sandberg’s advice only to find that her Beta-in-waiting bought into the same script too. The problem for her is that he took the “nothing’s sexier” part to heart only to find that someone else was sexier long before she’d convinced him otherwise.
For what it’s worth, fem-centrism has far less to fear from the manosphere revealing the ugly Red Pill truths about Hypergamy and more to worry about from pridefully self-indulgent women gleefully explaining it to the general populace themselves. Roosh had a tweet this week with what would likely have been the attitude of our subject wife ten odd years ago:
The more common Open Hypergamy becomes and the more proudly it’s embraced by the whole of women the less effective shaming men into acceptance of it will be. However, I thought it was entertaining when the counter-comments on Saving the Best questioned how common this situation really was or else thought it was trolling.
I think it’s much more prevalent than most men would like to admit. Perhaps not as dramatic as this example, but far more common for a majority of men who’ve tacitly accepted that the woman they married (or paired with) gave her best to her prior lovers and are too personally or family invested to extricate themselves from her after they’ve realized it. That investment necessitates them convincing themselves of the pre-planned memes the Feminine Imperative has prepared for them – that they are doing the right thing by forcing that dissonance out of their minds.
A lot of Betas-in-waiting like to claim a personal sense of vindication about their successfully pairing and breeding with women who they believe are (and were) their SMV evaluate equals once those women have “got it out of their system” with regards to self-discovery and Alpha indiscretions. In a sense they’re correct; often enough these are the men who gratefully embrace a woman’s intimate acceptance of him precisely at the point when his SMV has matured to match this woman’s declining SMV. I call this crossover the comparative SMV point in my SMV graph.
Even women on the down-slide of their SMV like to encourage the idea that their post-Epiphany decision to marry the Plan B Beta provider (long term orbiter) is evidence of their newly self-discovered maturity. How could they have been so foolish and not seen how the perfect guy for her had been there all along? That consideration gratifies the ego of a Beta who’s been hammered flat by rejection or mediocre experiences with women up to that point.
The primary reason I spent the last year compiling Preventive Medicine was to help men see past the compartmentalization of women’s phases of maturity, but also to help them see past their own immediate interpretations of those phases as they’re experiencing them. Long term sexual and intimate deprivation (i.e. Thirst) will predispose men to convincing themselves of the part they believe they should play in the social conventions of the Feminine Imperative. Their own cognitive dissonance is a small, subliminal price to pay when they believe they’re finally being rewarded with a woman who’s now ready to give him her best.
What inspired me to this post was reading a cutesy photo-meme on Facebook. The syrupy message was “My only regret was not meeting you sooner so we could spend more of our lives together” superimposed over some kids in black & white holding a rose. Then it hit me, this was a message a guy was posting to his girlfriend; the one he’d met after his second divorce was finalized. What he didn’t want to think about was that if he’d met her sooner she’d have been too busy “discovering herself” to have anything to do with him.
March 28th, 2015 at 2:00 pm
Corrections: “even though it was pre-Red Pill for me I spent a lot of time observing mangina behaviors out of him and his friends.”
March 28th, 2015 at 2:10 pm
Just visited a buddy of mine in the financial district he’s aware. I think part of being male these days is knowing you will not be giving anything as example on what not giving a fuck means I miss the play and recklessness that used to be around before the revolution of gender. Such having a role model helps but knowing what your up against is a good start. Here’s a clip of play of what I am talking about. https://vimeo.com/37471861
March 28th, 2015 at 2:47 pm
Hey this explains a lot going from beta to angry alpha http://alphagameplan.blogspot.com/2013/03/black-knights.html?m=1
March 28th, 2015 at 3:02 pm
@Stingray:
“I do believe that women think they love the same as men do. Women hold men to the ideal and want to reach that ideal. But since we cannot inherently understand the ideal, we bastardize it. We take the worst of the male nature and combine it with the worst of our own nature and run with that claiming that it is somehow superior. Women hold onto this for dear life.”
Men idealize love itself, not particular women. Men know their women partners are imperfect. Men constantly think about the attractiveness of many women, and know their partners are imperfect. Despite that, over time their love for their partners will likely continue to grow if the relationship is pleasant enough.
Women idealize the perfect man, aka Mr. Right. Women don’t idealize love itself. Women think little about most men they meet, preferring to pine after the ideal. Used to being in the passive role of being approached and loved, they don’t understand the daily struggle of men and the wins and losses each of them face every day.
March 28th, 2015 at 7:25 pm
@Sun Wukong
Very disheartening, as I want to help my friends.
I know we have to live by example, but when the guys you want to help are being taught your example is “misogynist” No matter how wonderful it is, it’s incredibly frustrating. ~Sun Wukong
There’s a certain power and legitimacy that the printed word has that a blog or some online article lacks…
As I’m fond of saying, it’s dirty work unplugging chumps from the Matrix, and this is made all the more difficult when a person is in a categorical state of denial…
…this dread that maybe their ego-investment in this belief is false – it’s like saying “God is dead” to the deeply religious…
People resort to denial when recognizing that the truth would destroy something they hold dear. In the case of a cheating partner, denial lets you avoid acknowledging evidence of your own humiliation. Short of catching a spouse in bed with your best friend, evidence of infidelity is usually ambiguous. It’s motivated skepticism. You’re more skeptical of things you don’t want to believe and demand a higher level of proof
~Rollo Tomassi “The Rational Male” (pp. 2,3,10)
I’m thankful that there are now two “The Rational Male” books in print. In my life, there’s just not enough time in the day to explain the dots that Rollo has connected to everyone that has ego investment in destructive beliefs. Their beliefs are their religion.
Further, Rollo has a way with vocabulary like no one else. It’s a lot easier for someone to grasp the concepts by absorbing his words the way he has arranged them.
So the best counter to that is through ‘power and legitimacy’ in an actual book that’s distributed through channels they respect.
I know you know this quote and its variations credited to Jim Rohn and others:
“You’re The Average Of The Five People You Spend The Most Time With” ~Jim Rohn
My closest friends are Alpha leaders. They are people I’ve chosen or there was an introduction through someone I respect.
They’re Alpha leaders, so when I mention a book that must be read, they choose to read it. They might disagree with parts of it, but none of them have said that. Instead, they’re helping spread the word.
Today, a mutual friend introduced me to a man I’ve been familiar with and respect. This man told me that he bought and just received ‘the book’ (The Rational Male – Preventive Medicine) because I’ve been posting about it online.
I would do the same if close friends or people I have close mutual friends with became persistent about taking an action they say changed their lives.
Rollo has done the work. His words are the most effective way to “unplug chumps from the matrix” …So, with most people that I want to see improve their lives, my only choice is to let the books open their minds.
March 28th, 2015 at 7:33 pm
And Dunham is a vile, disgusting sack of dung excreted from the bowels of society on to men as a gigantic “fuck you” to everything males find wonderful about women. I can’t figure if she hates men or the women that men find attractive more, but I certainly wish her all the worst either way.
March 28th, 2015 at 7:45 pm
I don’t see how the beta male can’t even catch a glimpse of the matrix these days when girls out there will cut themselves because Zayn from One Direction has left the band:
http://www.standard.co.uk/showbiz/celebrity-news/fears-grow-for-one-direction-fans-as-cut4zayn-trends-after-zayn-malik-quits-10134718.html
Surely news like this is the biggest sign that a woman’s want for alpha isn’t something that can be denied or rationalized by nonsensical, fem-imperatives excuses such as “I used to want the alpha then, but now I’ve changed.”
March 28th, 2015 at 9:26 pm
Rollo has written time and again (and I’m inclined to agree) that women don’t actually believe their impossible standard for a man is possible. It’s the entire reason AFBB is so prevalent.
Maybe it’s because I’m older, but I disagree with this. This idea of the impossible man is why movies like “The Notebook” and erotica (with the main character often being plain who blossoms into a beauty in the tamed alpha’s eyes). There are so many male characters in movies to whom this applies to, it’s crazy. Hell, even Wolverine meets this standard on some level.
I believe AF/BB is so prevalent for a couple of different reasons. One being that women do meet a higher beta or alpha whom they then cow into a “nice” beta. Two, they find a good beta and hamster themselves into thinking that since he truly is such a good man, that the attraction will come. Even if it doesn’t, attraction isn’t that important anyway right? I’m mean if she doesn’t need sex, why does he? (Surprisingly and happily, another woman called her out and the response to her is big.) Three, a woman does meet a true alpha and she either learns to be happy and appreciate that he isn’t “nice”, she deals with her discomfort, or she leaves him (or more likely he leaves her) for someone nicer never to forget how this alpha made her feel.
March 28th, 2015 at 9:28 pm
For some reason my first link didn’t go through. If she doesn’t need sex, why does he?
March 28th, 2015 at 9:45 pm
@Stingray
It really sounds like you’re shooting arrows and painting a bullseye around the landing there. Those are all just scenarios that women use to confirm their suspicion that he can’t be real as far as I can see.
March 28th, 2015 at 10:01 pm
Sun Wukong,
Eh, maybe. But I think you overestimate the clarity of a woman’s mind.
March 28th, 2015 at 10:17 pm
@Stingray
You wouldn’t shame a hen for not loving the rooster would you? I’m sure that sounds absurd, since roosters generally impregnate on their own whim rather than the hens. The situation human females are in and have been in over eons of evolution precludes energy wasted on loving a male idealistically. It cannot serve a females sexual strategy to get hung up on a man, when impregnation is not a sure thing and may require multiple encounters with multiple men to ensure pregnancy. In fact it would have probably negatively impacted human evolution if women fixated on one man.
It’s only social evolution that tells us that not loving for the sake of it is “immoral”.
Save your guilt for when you feel you’ve really manipulated a man, not for your own capability for love.
March 28th, 2015 at 10:24 pm
also…
Hah, no woman was ever involuntarily celibate in their sexual prime. Try having 1000x the testosterone running through your blood, with a decade or so of getting no sexual attention from the opposite sex, while doing everything in your power to try to get sexual attention… and see if you still think being a man is the ideal.
March 28th, 2015 at 10:25 pm
I know for one thing I need to avoid the sniper syndrome in mindset.
Fuck rollo is the best thing to happen to the death of men in are culture that destroys the humanity within us.
March 28th, 2015 at 10:28 pm
Jeremy,
I don’t feel guilty myself. I can tell you when I first read this from Rollo, I denied it. Thought he was full of it. When I thought about it, I saw that he was correct and at that time, I did feel shame. Giving it more thought, I no longer do.
People think I do not like women because of the way I speak about them. Case in point, my comment above. But the reality it, we are different. very different. I find no shame in those differences, only shame in how a woman might behave. I agree with Rollo that women are capable of love, only of a different kind and when that love is given well, it can help to make a man decide he wants to be better and work harder. I find no shame in that whatsoever.
March 28th, 2015 at 10:32 pm
I know Jeremy, but women do no and cannot see that. We perceive your overt power and we want it. Oblivious to the fact that our covert power can be far more potent. Even more oblivious to the fact of what being a man truly entails.
Remember, we are taking what we perceive and running it through our brains. Not a man’s. That perception goes in, gets twisted all to hell and comes back out . . . so very wrong.
March 28th, 2015 at 10:47 pm
@Stingray
“Rollo has written time and again (and I’m inclined to agree) that women don’t actually believe their impossible standard for a man is possible. It’s the entire reason AFBB is so prevalent. Maybe it’s because I’m older, but I disagree with this. This idea of the impossible man is why movies like “The Notebook” and erotica (with the main character often being plain who blossoms into a beauty in the tamed alpha’s eyes).”
Yeah, I agree. I think it depends on social structure: whether society enables men to be good providers and “alphas” at the same time. Just having control over your own goddamn family would be alpha enough for many, probably. In contemporary society it’s hard, verging on impossible for some.
Then again, there’s Emerson: society is a conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. This is a perennial problem. The problem of female desire under civilization was never “solved,” any more than the male desire to screw lots of different women. It was just repressed, for the sake of other things thought to be more important. And now it’s not.
To think that the solution is some ideal fulfillment of either sex’s desires, whether separately or together, is itself to yield to contemporary society’s utter hedonism. No, you can’t have everything you want.
March 28th, 2015 at 10:49 pm
@ Jeremy
I think what Stingray is talking about is the fact that men don’t actually need women to survive. This is especially true today. Our psychologies are based on the pursuit of women as much as actually obtaining them. Women don’t have that luxury. Although today they don’t need men to survive today their psychologies absolutely require having a man, and a weak man is better than no man.
Further the notion of men being the ideal is, I think, rooted in differences in the sexes ability to forgive past sins. Men can and do, often to excess, forgive. Grudges are reserved only for most egregious violations. Women are all in possesion of a tremendous capacity to be vindictive and can carry durable grudges for the smallest of slights.
In short men are magnanimous, and women are not. That ability is key to men getting over past conflicts and moving forward. Women have great difficulty with this because of their inherent anxiety and fear of the unknown. The unknown is something men will face alone out of necessity. Women will do everything possible to avoid the unknown.
March 28th, 2015 at 11:02 pm
@Glenn, Sun.
About Dunham.
She’s like Sandberg, Hollywood female execs, Obama too. When women (I include Obama) are handed power instead of meriting it, then they will immediately double-down on their victimhood. I’m sure that’s not news to anyone but it’s actually the single most disheartening aspect of the feminist/progressive mind. Instead of thinking, “Hey man. I succeeded. Things are fair. Everyone else is just making excuses,” they’ll immediately hit the victim sauce again and hit it hard. For all the shit going on in our culture, this behavior is the one that can really make me bury my face in my hands. Dunham isn’t relishing her (totally unearned) chance to write quirky stories and have fun. She immediately turns to her feminist angst/war. Female exec. producers have turned, what? 90% of movies into some or other iteration of girl power! Sandberg ‘s behavior is well known around here. Handed a cool billion by 40 and she takes to the warpath immediately over how unfair things are for women and how men have to be even more accommodating. That’s why I don’t see this turning around anytime soon, if ever. The more females ascend, the stronger their war chant gets, as if fending off the creeping reality that things are not only fair, but markedly in their favor. That acknowledgement is their greatest fear. It would eliminate their whole psyche/emotional framework in one easy cut.
Let’s see Dunham do some stand-up. She’s a comedic mind, right?
Let’s see Obama write a 100 page essay on world politics.
Let’s see Sandberg write a line of code.
Let’s see a female Hollywood exec write an interesting script without resorting to patriarchy canards.
March 29th, 2015 at 12:53 am
Human beings are social mammals, which we have in common with equines, which are also social mammals. The “feminine imperative” is about *fear*. Fear of being ostracized from the group. The “males” who run “feminine imperative” game on the rest of the male population (from their media and education bureaucracies) understand that. That is why males find it difficult to be “jerks” to females, because they fear being cut off from their social lifeline.
This is how the game is played, gentlemen. “Occultism” is nothing more than understanding human biology and exploiting it for one’s own selfish ends. It seems “fun” and “justified” when one is using it to turn the tables on a lifetime of pussy lack. When one takes a step back and looks at the big picture, one realizes that it’s nothing to covet. It is wicked to its very core.
We should celebrate our architecture and hard-wiring, NOT bastardize it for our own selfish ends. It’s a pretty special thing when the love between a male human and female human results in a new soul on this earth, to be nurtured and developed into something better than its progenitors. To fuck with that magnificent process is some deeply solemn shit.
Have we been led to a point where we behave opposite of our very cosmically created selves, in order to get a little poon? Yes, we have. That is the very point of their entire campaign against YOU. Does that make it right? No, it doesn’t.
Take responsibility for your lives, bitchez.
You guys think that because I broach the topic of spirituality that I’m some kind of smarmy “guru” or religious zealot. Nothing could be further from the truth. I told you, my spirituality is that of the Vikings. It’s a movie, to be sure, but it is nonetheless an expression of one man’s spirituality (the screen writer, read his Wikipedia): Braveheart. Some fuck slices the throat of a commoner’s wife. Does that commoner tuck his tail and call it a day? Hardly. The same can be said about the Magna Carta, and every other hard won freedom of males over tyrants, throughout history.
Look, all of this “feminism” and “feminine imperative” bullshit is being financed by banks in Europe. They are the ones slitting your throat. Are you simply going to bitch and moan about “bitches” here with others so inclined, or are you going to get off your ass and actually do something about it (eg, Roosh)?
“Your reality is what you make it. You literally have the ability to SPEAK it into existence… literally, through your words.”
You guys think this is “mystical?” You’ve been watching far too much “Harry Potter.” *They* are whispering sweet nothings into your females every single second of every single day, through TV, music, movies, textbooks, magazines, apps (FaceFuck) et al… and you just stand by and allow it, like a little bitch. When are YOU going to start whispering sweet nothings into your females, that construct the world that YOU WANT TO LIVE IN? If you choose to abdicate (not “abrogate”) that responsibility, then you have no one to blame but yourself. I guess, just keep coming to Rollo’s site to bitch and moan, because you sure as hell aren’t making any real impact on the world THAT YOU LIVE IN (which the rest of us also live in).
Man the fuck up and take control of your life. Yeah, that’s not the female appropriated version of that, either. Or continue playing the role of the itty bitty wittle victim. Poor you. Fuck all, some of you posters are some whiny little bitches, for sure. Knock that shit off, and get in the game.
You’re fat? Then lose that shit. It’s not even difficult. Just track your calories in a spreadsheet. It’s really that simple.
You’re a dork? Then go out and talk to people until you get your social calibration down.
You aren’t living your mission? Then stop what you’re doing, and get on mission.
You allow filth and garbage into your brain and heart? Then STOP WATCHING TV.
Your health sucks? Then stop eating garbage, and start eating real food, with all the trace minerals that your body requires for healthy function. And exercise. 15 minutes/day is all it takes.
Your T is low? Then lift heavy shit.
Females aren’t interested in you? Then become interesting. Stop watching idiot sports (owned by your controllers) and actually develop interesting pursuits in your life. Stop drinking idiot beer (filled with HFCS), and be more conscious about what you put into your body (vodka/soda).
At the end of the day, it is about this: what is inside of you. If you believe you are a victim, then you are a victim. If you believe you are a loser, then you are a loser. If you believe worthy females are beyond your grasp, then they are. If you believe that the “feminine imperative” runs your life, then it does.
Is that *really* the life you want to live? If not, then change your inner self (“spiritual”… ooooohhh). Upon doing that, you will find that your exterior reality will readily accommodate who you are, without so much as a whimper of protest. Life is pretty easy in that way. The obstacle is YOU. Why are you wedded to being your own worst enemy? Knock that shit off, and get in the game.
What good does it do you to come here and commiserate with others over the fact that the world is FUBAR? It is FUBAR. End of story. Now, what the fuck are you going to do with that information?
PS – I would be remiss without mentioning D&P. I agree with about 70% of what Cernovich puts out. But the guy puts himself out there, in a very positive way. If you are finding yourself in the doldrums, merely bitching about females, check out Danger and Play, if for no other reason than the fact that you can slip into the wake of his momentum. It will be good for you, in that regard.
You have been shit on. By society. By your family. By everything you ever held dear. I get it. I have also battled with that bullshit. Go read you some Cernovich, if only for the purpose of generating some forward momentum in your life.
I feel deeply for the readership of this site. It’s the only reason I post here.
Best wishes, all.
March 29th, 2015 at 1:38 am
Well brother well said just went out and break passed all my buffers. This is a buffer but I feel humbled to read what you wrote and wanted to say thanks for giving your time to say that which is the real currency.
March 29th, 2015 at 1:45 am
Feminism is the creation of beta men.
As long as beta lives as long as feminist strive.
The danger is beta men not women.
I HATE beta men. They are the lethal ammunition that makes feminists shoot.
Beta men are the SCUMS of earth.
March 29th, 2015 at 1:54 am
Manginas, pussy men, man boobs, white nights
I. HATE. YOUUUUUU.
Ps
Sorry for my ranting.
March 29th, 2015 at 2:04 am
Cats guarding Dogs = beta men guarding women
It confuses the four of them.
March 29th, 2015 at 2:05 am
Mr T.
Hating them serves no purpose. None. It’s like hating women for being hypergamous. It simply is what it is and not worth hating.
March 29th, 2015 at 2:11 am
Sun
I LOVE women but I fucking hate beta men.
I hate the way they move, they move like a sneak.
I haaaaaaaate them.
I don’t care about hypergamy, it’s the beta men that supply hypergamy.
I look around and I see betas (violent ugly beta) all around.
March 29th, 2015 at 2:12 am
“I told you, my spirituality is that of the Vikings.”
Irrational optimism characterizes Vikings fans.
I am an Eagles fan so I’m ruled by jaded pessimism.
March 29th, 2015 at 2:22 am
Imagine there’s no betas
It’s easy if you try
No betas below us
Above us only women
Imagine all the women
Living betas…
Imagine there’s no beta
It isn’t hard to do
And no religion too
Imagine all the women
Living life in peace..without betas
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one
March 29th, 2015 at 2:34 am
“Other then absolutely refusing to be a beta supporter what do you suggest we do? Even refusing to be a beta supporter isn’t feasible as the government will take our money by threat of violence and transfer it to the women, forcing us to be beta providers for all women.”
Vote for party and/or support groups (no matter how radical/crazy they might be in any other matter) that are against the FI.
March 29th, 2015 at 3:11 am
@‘’c’h’okmah I would be remiss without mentioning D&P
Glad you did.
March 29th, 2015 at 3:21 am
Mr T as someone is and was raised beta. I appreciate your rage but one thing to consider is maybe being a top tier example of what is not beta. Alpha is a mindset.
It’s something I work on by avoiding porn and buffers that keep me beta. I don’t like beta I read rollo to kill the beta. It’s a nightmare that society mocks for knowing it gots no place for doing the write thing.
March 29th, 2015 at 3:44 am
If you allow the existence of Beta men to bring you anger and rage, you’re allowing them to be your mental point of origin. You’re letting something external control your frame. Focus on improving yourself, not hating people who have not been as fortunate as you have.
March 29th, 2015 at 9:07 am
Rollo just discovered your site , really good info, as a 50 year man what I’ve seen with friends and girlfriends is spot on with what you write, although in your graph . The SMV for men in 60s falls off the charts to equal women in 70s I so disagree with this I see and know men in their 70s families grown usually on second divorce killing it with women of all ages , the only way a alpha king dies is in battle,
March 29th, 2015 at 9:11 am
Thank you for another good article. Hopefully someday I will fully ingest the red pill and the beta in me will finally die forever. Your writing will have been the catalyst and has been a great source of change in my life and way of thinking, thank you.
March 29th, 2015 at 9:31 am
After over 20 years of marriage. After all the time. My wife responds to only one thing. Fear of other women. All the logical talk. All the explaining. Meaningless. Just show her the picture of an ex. Make her jealous.
Sad sad sad. But, this is how it is. My piece of knowledge for you young men.
March 29th, 2015 at 9:39 am
Anyone who doesn’t understand betas doesn’t understand the duality of women and why betas are around.
Women fear unchecked power and will work to undermine it. Women are never really happy with anything, so despite the fact that they prefer alpha behavior most of the time, they will still mate with betas, losers, the other side enough to keep diversity in the gene pool. Women will always rebel against unambiguous anything. To keep a woman in your life, you need to be aware of her duality and keep enough problems in her life for her to remain satisfied. Too perfect of anything is boring and death for a woman. You need a dark side or overt enemies/difficulties. This is why straight alpha dominance will never fully succeed.
If George Bailey didn’t have Potter in his life, didn’t have Sam Wainright as a putative playboy rival, Mary would have cheated on him with someone else. Bert, Ernie, the bar owner, Clarence, anybody.
March 29th, 2015 at 9:47 am
If anything what proves to me a great way to get rid of the beta is stop feeding it any attention.
Here is an example of battle that didn’t half to mean alpha but it sure means you don’t take shit
March 29th, 2015 at 10:38 am
Thinking back that’s what makes its a wonderful life a great film.
March 29th, 2015 at 11:44 am
@Rollo:
Your article in pictures
(credit: redpillcomics.blogspot.com)
March 29th, 2015 at 12:52 pm
@melmoth:
“She’s like Sandberg, Hollywood female execs, Obama too. When women (I include Obama) are handed power instead of meriting it, then they will immediately double-down on their victimhood. I’m sure that’s not news to anyone but it’s actually the single most disheartening aspect of the feminist/progressive mind. Instead of thinking, “Hey man. I succeeded. Things are fair. Everyone else is just making excuses,” they’ll immediately hit the victim sauce again and hit it hard. …. That’s why I don’t see this turning around anytime soon, if ever. The more females ascend, the stronger their war chant gets, as if fending off the creeping reality that things are not only fair, but markedly in their favor. That acknowledgement is their greatest fear. It would eliminate their whole psyche/emotional framework in one easy cut.”
This is pretty frustrating. I think it’s an inevitable aspect of women’s collective hard-wiring. Women are inclined to always be anxious about the world around them, conscious about social status and climbing, and constantly looking out for threats. It’s just the biology of being both the weaker and the reproductively more valuable sex. So there is a constant sense of threat, uncertainty, and dissatisfaction in the core of a woman that she must consciously combat, or else fall prey to (anyone want to guess how many women consciously fight it in our ‘have it all’ culture?). This doesn’t go away if a woman finds status, validation, money, or anything else. The targets of the anxiety just change. They recognize that they aren’t really being threatened by anything obvious, but still feel threatened. So it must be some subconscious rape culture that makes them feel that way, or whatever other bullshit they dream up this month.
A person who is a worrier will always worry, unless they do the internal work to cope with their disposition. If they worry about money, and then win the lottery, they will promptly start to worry about their health. If a person feels oppressed by their parents, and moves to another city, they will soon find a boss, co-worker, or landlord to feel oppressed by.
Same thing.
March 29th, 2015 at 1:20 pm
This is what I see in my everyday.
Men that do not have money, resources and power live in constant state of FEAR. They will do anything to supplicate the vagina, because it is all they ever hope to have. Scarcity scarcity scarcity.
Most women (even ugly) can muster an element of male attention. They come from a passive abundance mentality.
I see my work place scattered with desperate thirsty betas competing for the remnants of female attention. I feel for them. I really do.
The only mental point of origin a simple man can adopt is one of NO FEAR. Otherwise he is doomed to the beta fate of a groveling non entity. May the force be with you!
March 29th, 2015 at 1:20 pm
anyone can explore who were the early white nights/betas who took part in women`s suffrage movement ?
what were those early white nights/betas like ?
March 29th, 2015 at 3:04 pm
Badpainter,
That is absolutely a big part of it. There’s more here.
March 29th, 2015 at 6:37 pm
“Stop drinking idiot beer (filled with HFCS), and be more conscious about what you put into your body (vodka/soda).”
as a former brewer, I lol’d.
March 29th, 2015 at 7:56 pm
http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/03/29/opinion/sunday/julia-baird-stand-up-for-your-cats.html?referrer=
Part of the appeal of cats is that they are independent and discerning. They have few needs. They come to you when they want; you can’t force them, or cajole them. They can be fiercely affectionate. They are gloriously indifferent. Cats don’t pretend to like you, and don’t care if you like them.
Now read the above, does that sound like a Beta?
March 29th, 2015 at 8:08 pm
Beta men, BE like a cat.
Now I know why women end up with cats, it is the alpha attitude in cats.
The indifference.
March 29th, 2015 at 9:40 pm
Holy shit. You may be onto something big here, T. Never thought about it that way before.
March 29th, 2015 at 9:45 pm
But a reasonable counter-argument might be that cats are more like women. Fickle, constantly shit-testing, and only deigning to give their attention to the highest status bidder (the one that currently has the best food offering or affectionate attention that is most pleasing). Hard to make a call on this one.
March 29th, 2015 at 10:09 pm
StringofCoins… If I may say so, this is beautiful…
“How can women, with so much power, have such an incredibly poor understanding of men?
Perhaps one day women will realize that feminism has lied to them. That they have almost all the power. That they need to grow up and start using that power in a remotely intelligent way.”
March 29th, 2015 at 10:19 pm
Hey you know honor is alpha someone willing to fight or perhaps to oppose is to support?
How’s this Mr T?
http://www.csn.ul.ie/~arise/stuff/hagakure.pdf
March 29th, 2015 at 10:26 pm
Diplomat
Crazy cat woman=alpha widow who gave up on betas?
March 29th, 2015 at 10:44 pm
@rugby
Is English your second/third language? Just curious where you are from.
March 29th, 2015 at 10:48 pm
Cats are the ultimate alpha mind set, maybe that’s why women love cats, when a woman have cats it is the silent crying out for the alpha.
Why then women love cats?
Or a horse ?
Me, ,I love wolves.
March 29th, 2015 at 10:58 pm
I will have to think long and hard on this one, T. I will come up with a thesis on “Cats: Alpha or Hypergamous?” and try to defend it here on the thread.
March 29th, 2015 at 11:01 pm
As a teaser, I will offer: cats may occasionally be fierce in defending what they think is rightfully theirs, but they are the ultimate opportunists in virtually all of their feline behaviors. I’m leaning toward hypergamy on this.
Misery loves company. Thus, cat lady.
March 29th, 2015 at 11:11 pm
Now that is topic Rollo didn’t cover?
Missing the alpha and not ready to settle for a beta?
Then get a cat, it’s as similar of an alpha as it gets.
March 29th, 2015 at 11:21 pm
Third was born in a French speaking family than learned English with some sign language than English.
March 29th, 2015 at 11:54 pm
Opposites attract. Dogs are social, alpha men are drawn to them and control them without a thought. Cats are antisocial, (very) beta men and women are drawn to them.
Learn what you can from this dynamic.
March 30th, 2015 at 12:12 am
Dunno if I’m alpha, but I’ve always preferred dogs. Who wants a pet that ignores you when you call to it? Not I.
March 30th, 2015 at 12:18 am
Part of the appeal of cats is that they are independent and discerning. They have few needs. They come to you when they want; you can’t force them, or cajole them. They can be fiercely affectionate. They are gloriously indifferent. Cats don’t pretend to like you, and don’t care if you like them.
Yet again,
All the characters above is the alpha mind set that women live in a man.
Not too many men would put up when with an indifferent woman (except desperate betas) but on the other hand, an indifferent man is irresistible to ALL women, indifferent cat? Indifferent man?
How about a woman settle with a beta and a cat?
The cat gives her the indifferent alpha fix and the beta guy slaves it out for her.
March 30th, 2015 at 12:20 am
Correction
That women love.
March 30th, 2015 at 12:27 am
I concede. You’re making a thoroughly convincing argument for alpha cat, T.
@rugby
Thanks. I sometimes have difficulty understanding what you are saying, even thought you generally have a good point to assert.
March 30th, 2015 at 12:32 am
@Rollo
There’s a possible speculative psych post in what Mr. T is positing about cat ladies and ersatz alpha fulfillment. It might be a departure, but it’s at least worth a sub-convo in a future post on late stage spinsterhood.
March 30th, 2015 at 12:35 am
Cats?
As a self identified beta I’d have to say I greatly dislike cats. Cats, for some reason, love me. I much prefer dogs as I demand all pets display obsequious, even sycophantic submission, loyalty, and obedience. More importantly dogs can trained to perform useful labor, cats seem to have useful purpose.
March 30th, 2015 at 12:54 am
One crazy thought
I wonder how a crazy cat woman deal with her cat during her ovulation (I mean the woman)
does the cat woman put up with her cat’s indifference during the menstrual cycle?
Obviously we aren’t gonna be able to ask the cat! That leaves us with the”hopefully ” full cooperation of either the cat woman or the beta boy friend.
March 30th, 2015 at 1:08 am
The Cat That Walked by Himself
We’ll have to go to Vox Day’s hierarchy for this one; cats are sigma.
March 30th, 2015 at 1:11 am
Just saying …
http://therationalmale.com/donate/
March 30th, 2015 at 9:16 am
Dogs are good because the fur (on non-fancy breeds) is less likely to clag up with ice; use for everything below the knee except soles.
Cat skins are excellent for hats and mitten backs, very warm (but not as good as a February fox), but ices up too easy.
Horses for courses, and hope the neighbors don’t miss ’em.
March 30th, 2015 at 11:56 am
I really like the content of Rollo’s writing, if I could make two suggestions in all respect.
1. Shorter sentences. i.e., “A lot of Betas-in-waiting like to claim a personal sense of vindication about their successfully pairing and breeding with women who they believe are (and were) their SMV evaluate equals once those women have “got it out of their system” with regards to self-discovery and Alpha indiscretions.”
(There are many like this)
2. If it can be said with less words, then do so.
I don’t have a specific example of this. But just being cognizant of this while writing will improve it dramatically.
Again I say this with all due respect; I’ve been reading your posts for years.
March 30th, 2015 at 12:41 pm
In the past two years that I’ve been haunting the Rational Male blog, I have never seen Rollo ask for anything other than that people think clearly, maintain a productive dialogue, and spread the knowledge to others. Obviously, he gives quite a lot of himself and his time to many people for no remuneration at all. It’s the true definition of dedicated altruism.
No one who is a regular here would doubt for a moment that he has both actively and passively saved many lives from potential ruin (or much worse) by the tremendous work he has done here (for free) and by his publication of his two books which he has kindly priced entirely in the “non-profit” zone.
A great way to say thanks to Rollo would be to consider donating whatever you can afford to a worthy cause that’s obviously very personally important to him.
And if that’s not reason enough—do it because the International League of Cat-Ladies wouldn’t approve:
http://therationalmale.com/donate/
March 30th, 2015 at 12:41 pm
Rollo I do donate however I was thinking of a way to help increase your funds. Why not link to your books through this? http://smile.amazon.com/gp/aw/ch/change/ref=smi_cycsr_btnr1_setch
March 30th, 2015 at 1:03 pm
According to my research if everyone donated 11 U.S. dollars a price of a movie ticket who reads this blog we could easily hit passed 1,000. Not use the whole savior complex but each time I read both books and change my behavior by acknowledging how wrong I am about the world I give my digits to the donate button. When you think of the social benifit it’s really worth more than you think. Case in point you help dogs. Which someone once said was a mans best friend.
March 30th, 2015 at 2:56 pm
Not entirely on-topic, but I joined a buddy for some pre-Wrestlemania lunch with a couple of his female friends. Food hadn’t gotten to the table before the loud one pulled the “it’s 2015″ line when discussing how the bill would be divided. Current events for a bit, food arrives and I’m sensing her escalation into a predictable monologue about relationship “fairness.”
I side-glance my buddy who is clearly tired of hearing it and interrupt. “I can disprove your entire thesis in two sentences.” Then, I put my hand gently on hers and make eye contact.
“I’m unemployed. Will you marry me?”
Her wry reaction. Her friend giggling. My shit-eating grin.
March 30th, 2015 at 3:33 pm
I had a friend of mine go to a bar at an airport where he went to go speak to a women where she promtly rejected his advance so in good humor he raised his voice and said “that’s it I am getting a divorce” everyone in the airport by the bar came over to see them not allowing him to leave because at least 5 people where surrounding him. So the girl kept saying how she didn’t know him an his reply was “that’s what you always say” he ended up getting a few dates with her before he moved out of the country.
March 30th, 2015 at 5:20 pm
“boo hoo” cries the bitch – “5 of the best years of my life” boo hoo.
meanwhile your prior 15 years before the marriage you had as much sex and as much variety as you wanted, while your beta built his businesses.
and now you want to challenge the prenup.
but a regular marriage without a prenup is literally (if law were still done correctly) an unenforceable (voidable) illusory contract, because only one party (the man) has any enforceable obligations.
fuck you, women (not a typo). all of you. try being a man and getting no fault divorced for NO reason when you have 2 very young kids and having to pay $300,000 (so far) in 6 years to NOT see your kids 22 days a month.
fuck you and your giant child selfish brains.
any idiot who disagrees with any of this: i could write this better but don’t have time.
March 30th, 2015 at 5:32 pm
Well said
My uncle had a similar circumstance happen with him. I asked what I could do to help And he said “Don’t ever lose your male friends”
Wish you a good day brother
March 30th, 2015 at 5:42 pm
@divorced dad
Divorce ALWAYS happens for a reason. You just don’t like the reason.
March 30th, 2015 at 6:04 pm
Wrong thread, Big Kahuna.
March 30th, 2015 at 6:04 pm
But funny, nevertheless.
March 30th, 2015 at 6:22 pm
^^ those last two comments were in response to a comment that has been deleted. Please disregard. Not Alzheimer’s or Schizophrenia…I hope.
March 30th, 2015 at 7:59 pm
What’s missing:
She’s likely already had another rooster in the hen house.
One poster was close, in his use of sticks as a metaphor. .past performance is no guarantee of future earnings performance. .but under same management, entities tend to perform the same!
Once a slut, highly likely to be so again, especially when times are tough. Drug use too? Be a great mother if children! Especially for a man who has a sense of familial responsibility, good thing he ejected.
There’s a reason we have an underclass: lack of self control. By hiding the behavior from him, she attempts to breed above her station. The husband has restraint, patience, self control and focus, as evidenced by his business success.
It’s only natural he would want the future mother of his kids to exhibit similar values, evidenced by not being a carefree slut and abuser of illegal substances.
This man knows if he stays with her, his chances of being cuckolded are substantial.
Her reproductive strategy collapsed because of a friend with loose lips.
March 30th, 2015 at 8:37 pm
“Her reproductive strategy collapsed because of a friend with loose lips.”
Which brigs up a question if etiquette. What is an appropriate gift for the “friend” who spilled the beans?
March 30th, 2015 at 9:16 pm
–” I don’t fucking deserve to be tossed out like a piece of trash.”
INTO THE GUTTER WHERE SHE BELONGS AND WHERE SHE CAME FROM!!!
“Newgal” – There is not a fucking thing new about you!!!!!
Rollo-
Your work is excellent despite my disagreement with you concerning “idealist love”. You really connect the dots as you say and I still recommend your work. It is like a knife cutting straight to the truth and you break down & explain things in a manner that most can “get it”
However, I personally cannot swallow “idealist love” in ANY context whatsoever. Call me nihilistic if you like. Perhaps I’m unable to ever re-embrace any concept of “idealist love” ever again because I see it is the bullshit diarrhea of the mind that gets us all fucked up to begin with.
March 30th, 2015 at 9:21 pm
@Badpainter
A date after the divorce.
March 30th, 2015 at 9:45 pm
To be a “MAN” means to not let the woman have control
of your loyalty
your bank account
your dignity
your time
your emotions
your hopes
your fears…
All of these things are yours. They are not hers.
March 30th, 2015 at 9:53 pm
Every man must seriously consider any woman as a risk and a liability primarily before any other considerations. ThIs is what she really is to his life regardless of what he wants to believe. He must never forget this, especially in an LTR. All risks and liabilities must be MANAGED.
March 30th, 2015 at 11:36 pm
@ Sun
Good one. Thanks for the chuckle.
March 31st, 2015 at 6:45 pm
[…] Badpainter: […]
April 8th, 2015 at 3:46 pm
Here’s a question: what if it is the man who had his party years, and the woman resents it? I partied it up, had lots of partners, and then married a hot, low-partner-number woman. She hates it when there are occasional reminders of my indiscriminate past. Is it buying into the feminine imperative for me to feel a little bad about this?
One major difference is that I didn’t “settle” because my SMV was plummeting, quite to the contrary, increasing SMV over time let me find a long-term partner good enough to settle down with. Plus I wanted stability & kids more than partying as I got older. Still, seems some of your points in support of the chaste partner’s bitterness apply even with genders swapped.
April 8th, 2015 at 4:38 pm
“One major difference is that I didn’t “settle” because my SMV was plummeting, quite to the contrary, increasing SMV over time let me find a long-term partner good enough to settle down with. ”
“It is easy to do an easy thing, it is hard to do a hard thing.” – Me
Women are attracted to men who other women have had. Men are attracted to women that could have been with many guys, but limited their choices smartly to a tiny pool
Preselection. For men it means how many women have fucked him+how many women want to fuck him based on either his looks or direct knowledge of how many women he’s fucked. For women it means are they a bitch?+are they fat? For every woman with ave/above ave looks is already preselected for sex.
A man’s smv is directly related to how attractive he is to women, and women find a preselected man attractive. For a man with options, to be at the height of his smv and then to voluntarily take himself off the market is a HARD thing to do and should be recognized as such because of all his options.
A woman’s smv is directly related to how objectively beautiful she looks (being subjective but universally accepted in the boner test) and the direct knowledge that most all men want to be in her. Her being desired by other men is not what directly makes her attractive for commitment (the eye candy byproduct). It is her rejection of sex from most suitors for only the extreme few which applies the highest, most direct assignment of value she can give a man that. For a woman to reject sex instead of giving herself freely (and easily/cheaply) to all suitors is the HARD thing to do especially at the height of her SMV and should be recognized as such.
It is easy for a woman to ‘settle down’ after the wall. That is no accomplishment.
It is easy for an unattractive man to tell women he’d marry them in a heartbeat and love them forever whether she is deserving of it or not. That is no accomplishment.
It is easy for a woman of average to above average looks to find and have sex when they are at their youngest and most fertile. Biologically it makes sense.. but it’s no accomplishment if the daddy don’t stick around and leaves her and the child to die in the woods.. but this ain’t 10,000 B.C.
We should only ever acknowledge the things that are hard to do.