I sort of made up my own definition of beta and alpha in my post. Basically I said that men who think they should have to provide for women in order to earn love are betas. I realize that doesn’t match with a lot of other people’s ideas of beta vs alpha.

The funny thing is that I’ve never been bullied after I hit puberty. I’ve never had trouble getting the respect of men since then, even though I’m not really interested in it. I think most people are stupid cunts (including women, although I’m still hoping for someone special) and I try to avoid them. Recently in one of my classes, another guy started calling me “sir”, which I found rather strange because I wasn’t expecting it, and I am only 23 years old. But I am terrible with women. I think sometimes the women are interested in me when they see me, but I usually blow it when I open my mouth. I got a few offers in High School because I was too shy to open my mouth and say stupid things. But I turned them down, because some were fat, and some were ugly, and I thought they had horrible personalities. The first offer I got was from a decent looking girl when I was 12, but when she made a hand motion which was supposed to show that she wanted to give me a blow job, the only thing I could think of was that she was trying to tell me something about brushing her teeth. I was actually very depressed when I lost my virginity, because I was looking for emotional intimacy but couldn’t find it, so I figured I may as well at least have sex with a pretty girl if I can get it.

When I lost my virginity (if you can call it that), I was flaccid, like I said in a previous post. But somehow the girl (I thought she was cute) didn’t seem to care, and she held my hand walking down the street after we had sex, and said cute things to me, although I’m sure it was the worst sex that she has ever had. Doesn’t sexual impotence show that you’re not alpha? Why did she still like me? I don’t get it.

I guess college women are pickier than high school women, because I didn’t get any free offers after high school. I tried PUA and I hated it in High School (although it worked), so I’ve been mostly avoiding women since then. I had a year-long relationship with a German doctor who was very kind to me, as I mentioned in a previous post.

My ring finger is a quarter-inch longer than my index, and my index finger is a quarter inch longer than my pinky. Does that make me half-alpha? I was never as strong as most of the jocks, but I was stronger than nearly everyone who wasn’t a jock.

If the conditioning men get as children is really so damaging, then shouldn’t men try to leave western countries if they can? I think even if you’re a confident male, you’ll probably be happier in a place where people don’t think you’re evil because of the way you’re born. Do you think trying to go to Russia is a good idea? I’m trying, but I’m really horrible at job interviews, so I’ve blown a lot of interviews for English teaching positions in Russia. There is one school who appears to want me, although they have not sent me the official letter of invitation yet. Maybe employers don’t like me because I’m honest (I admit that I have very little work experience and I’m a little nervous about the position, and that I dislike people), and I don’t like kissing ass. Maybe I should try lying like everybody else for my next interviews.

I used to feel exactly the same way. And i mean exactly. You’ve conditioned yourself to have the preference.

Things change as your experiences in life broaden.

“Can society fool me into being beta so thoroughly that I believe it even when I am unconscious?”

Think back to your past, your childhood, how your mother raised and nurtured you, the friends you socialized with and what caste they were; cool vs. uncool, etc. Everyone is a sum of a million different interactions and choices in life that ultimately define your ego and who you are (or who you present to the world).

Put another way, if you were born in the Middle East, chances are you *might* have a different view of things ranging from views on sex, religion, what turns you on, etc. While the beta ‘gene’ is probably within all of us, only in contemporary civilization with ‘civilized’ norms and the uber feminine as it’s guide – is being ‘beta’ allowed to flourish to the point where ‘bronies’ can exist. That’s it’s extreme conclusion.

But had you been born during Spartan times, there is a great chance that:

a. you would not be beta, because you’d have it beaten out of you early in childhood or
b. you’d have been cast upon the rocks and left for dead if you were born with the precursors for being beta (premature, small, frail, puny, etc.)

[*full disclosure – i was a premie. Without medical intervention i wouldn’t be here. That coupled with my mothers insane protective smothering behavior compounded by my dads spinelessness in standing up to his evil mother’s domineering virtually ensured i was going to grow up beta and trapped serving the imperative’s needs from birth. Only by accident and then finding the sphere did i break the cycle.]

Having been surrounded by all of that, i chose my friends and my beliefs based on the things that fit best (and validated) my world view. Also, growing up in the 80’s during feminism catching it’s stride in the education system getting boys to stand down so girls could stand up, hearing about anything boys could do girls could do better, no war with girls in charge, men use women, women’s version of love is the right way, etc… i too developed that ideal of ‘romantic love sex as the definitive, all others puerile and abominable’. my ideal concept of best sex was a derivative of the ideals i grew up with and had invested into with my ego.

Seeing women i cared about enjoying rough, random, casual sex with the concept of love or romance far removed from the act really messed with my mental disposition. Having (hot, steamy, casual) sex with strippers finally dispelled the myth for me that sex and romance where not mutually exclusive. I can be just as aroused by the mental imagery of boning my girlfriend whom i love our current LTR, or i can equally enjoy the thought of getting a bj from a skank and bukkaking her face without any form of connection, simply pure unadulterated ‘objectification’.

Both are satisfying.

++

My use of the term beta here isn’t here to define an any individual or the monolithic group ‘beta’ – only to label the experience that Brendan is articulating.

Coincidentally, i found this video a very long time ago that i was going to make a post about – but ultimately abandoned since i stopped blogging. Considering this conversation at hand i think it’s worth a watch.

And thank you for the link too Rollo. I can’t tell if you’re trying to refer me to the part that talks about mothers teaching their sons to be betas, or the part about how society conditions men from childhood to be betas. In that article it sounds like rational man agrees with me that women teach their sons to be betas because they are ignorant, but in this article that we are commenting on it sounds like he thinks that women are a part of a conspiracy to produce betas.

I would be inclined to think that my inclination to be beta is genetic. I always thought of my friends and sex partners as being the same thing, so I always thought porn was boring. And when I dream about sex, it’s almost always in a LTR and with children. Can society fool me into being beta so thoroughly that I believe it even when I am unconscious? I think it is possible for men and women to evolve inclinations which seem to benefit the other gender more than themselves, because it makes the other gender more interested in associating with them. Of course I realize that beta-inclination would only be a successful strategy if for some reason the woman cares more about resources than genetics, or if I find a woman who also has a deviant sexual strategy. And of course the most successful strategy is probably a flexible one that has a balance between looking out after one’s own interest and catering to the interest of the other sex, which is probably why there are so few men like myself. There are probably NAWALT women who genuinely are attracted to beta men, but they are probably very uncommon, and difficult to distinguish from regular women. I think I found one when I was on an exchange trip to Germany. But she had other problems, in that she had aspergers, was a workaholic, and she decided after we had been dating for a year that she wanted to be a doctor more than she wanted to be a mother. I don’t think she had any side partners when we were dating because she never made me wait for sex, and she never played any mind games with me. She was a very kind person and the other people in her life treated her very poorly, which I suppose is to be expected from a purely altruistic life-strategy.

It’s what made Neo puke too.

“When life is difficult and women experience real hardship, they choose the betas, because they fear physical hardship more than they desire sexual satisfaction. When the betas build up society and make things safe for women, the woman choose sexual satisfaction because they have nothing to fear anymore.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolutionary_game_theory#Hawk_Dove

And if the 80/20 rule is true, then it means that 80% of the male population will never find romantic happiness. Even if every male in the world reads this and tries to apply it, it would make virtually no difference to the dynamic. Women would still choose the most alpha among alphas. So on the whole, educating men about this stuff doesn’t help anything. I think MGTOW is right for many men. They have no hope of ever finding romantic happiness unless it’s an illusion.

I really hate all this game and redpill stuff. It’s not because I don’t think it’s true, but because I know it’s true. I got my first girlfriend a week after buying my first PUA product, and nothing has ever worked so well for me since. The only problem is that it is very unnatural for me, so that I can’t get an erection when I use it. That’s right, I was good enough at game to get women to want to have sex with me, but I was so disgusted by it that I couldn’t do it. I guess I am a super-beta in that I can’t be an alpha even when I’m able to trick women into thinking that I am. I’m planning on moving to Russia, because they have gender norms there, and hopefully I can hide my betaness behind this and find a good wife. Of course, I’ll try to be very careful about choosing a wife, and being as alpha as I can. If that doesn’t work I guess I’ll go MGTOW, and I’ll be very sad.

I think there always must be betas and there must always be alphas. The betas actually build society because they work hard in order to get attention from women. When life is difficult and women experience real hardship, they choose the betas, because they fear physical hardship more than they desire sexual satisfaction. When the betas build up society and make things safe for women, the woman choose sexual satisfaction because they have nothing to fear anymore. I think the attraction to alpha is that the woman wants to maximize the number of grandchildren by giving birth to sons who are good at seducing women. But alphas sire many children without taking care of them, so they are a parasitic part of society. When there are too many alphas, then society collapses, women fear physical hardship again, and the cycle repeats. I think the balance between alpha-inclined males and beta-inclined males probably looks something like the Lotka-Volterra curve for prey and predator. It’s ironic that the hardwork of the beta which earns him the illusion of love in his lifetime dooms his grandsons to be cuckolded by alphas. And then the alpha’s irresponsible pleasure in his lifetime dooms his grandchildren to live in poverty, not that he would care of course. That’s how I see it anyway. Maybe someone can correct me if I’ve got this wrong.