I had an interesting experience this weekend with a man I used to do peer counseling with almost ten years ago. The guy’s wife had heard I’d moved back to northern Nevada and asked if I’d spend some time with him as he’s been suffering from cancer, and honestly, he’s in death’s waiting room. He’s late 70s now but when I first started counseling the guy at university he was one of the tougher men I knew in trying to expose to what’s now the Red Pill.
He’s never really accepted the fundamental truths and for literally his entire life he’s been struggling with the frustration that Blue Pill men all do when they simply don’t understand that the set of books they believe women – particularly older women from his generation – should be playing fair by. It was particularly disheartening to listen to him still complain about his wife’s lack of sexual interest in him.
For her part she’d completely checked out of anything intimate with him beyond the perfunctory duties of being civil with her husband years ago. As his illness has progressed he’s become less mobile and more resentful of her indifference to him. From my perspective, coming back into this story after almost ten years, it struck me how a Blue Pill conditioning solidifies into a man’s life in his later years. Revealing the Red Pill truths as to what’s brought him to where he is now is almost too cruel to torture him with, and honestly he wouldn’t accept it.
I’ve always advocated that unplugging men from the Matrix is like triage, save the men you can, read last rites to the dying. For those who don’t come to terms with the Red Pill and the true nature of the realities of the sexual marketplace at least there’s some hope that eventually they will experience something similar to what the Red Pill defines for them and they’ll have pause and insight to reconsider those truths. That’s the bitter taste of the Red Pill – there’s no going back once you start to see the behaviors and relate them to Red Pill principles.
I read guys on the TRP subreddit forum who are newly unplugged who really have a tough time coming to terms with that new reality. They get pissed off, they want to cling to the “it’s not really that bad” or “not all women are like that” conditioning and throw their hands up in disgust with the Red Pill and move on.
Only they can’t. Four months later they come back to the forum after having a woman behave exactly as the theories predicted they would. There’s a manosphere saying that women hate the Red Pill because it more reliably and accurately predicts human behavior than feminism ever has. That Red Pill awareness and predictability is tough to shake for guys who want to go back to the comfort of believing there’s still hope for them in a Blue Pill world.
This Old Man
I realize this is going to get depressing here, but it’s important to consider the totality of what a lifetime of Blue Pill ignorance represents to a man at his end. There are going to be men who will never accept Red Pill truths. They will never make the connection that the rule book they think everyone is working from is a plan with the intent of consuming him all the way to his death-bed. For whatever reason anything counter to their preconception of how women and men ought to relate to one another simply doesn’t register for them.
I’ll continue with my story about this man, but before I do I think that for anyone to have a complete understanding of how what we call Red Pill awareness affects our lives as men we need to consider how that awareness plays out across the span of our lives. Red Pill awareness, what I call positive masculinity, and the counter to a social order founded on the Feminine Imperative is still in its infancy. Some guys want to characterize it as a return to what was once conventional masculine ideals, and while I think that has some merit things simply aren’t going back to what men romanticize they were with women.
In the ‘sphere there’s a particular focus on how men can get the desired results they want in their personal and intimate lives by applying what Red Pill awareness helps them to reasonably predict. That’s fine for PUAs, maybe MGTOWs, and in the meantime MRAs will channel the parts of the Red Pill they do accept to increase awareness of men’s issues. But all of these branches and all of their interests are applied in the now.
My father died from complications of Alzheimers in 2010. My brother and I had him provided for in an assisted living facility for the last year of his life and it got to the point he couldn’t recognize either of us or his grandchildren. It was very difficult to watch my Dad who was a brilliant man, but a life long Beta, decay to a shell of himself. However even while suffering from memory loss, he was still clinging to the behaviors his Blue Pill conditioning taught him would make him appreciated by the other women in the facility.
My Dad taught me the meaning of the Savior Schema throughout most of his life – if that post seems poignant to you it’s because I learned it well from my old man. His ‘dating’ methodology was always based around a strategy of what he could do to better solve, buy or otherwise alleviate the problems a woman had in the hopes that a reciprocated appreciation of it would result in intimacy. The old set of books, he had them memorized.
I mention this because even with his mind addled by dementia some part of his subconscious still expected old women, women he had no idea what their names were, to reciprocate their love and intimacy for doing their gardening or fixing something for them. He couldn’t remember my name, but he could remember being slighted by women not giving him a kiss or patting him on the back ‘for all he did for them.’
This is just one example of the extent and consequences of Blue Pill conditioning. Using Red Pill / Game to pick up or live a better life with women, or extending that awareness to other aspects of one’s life is commendable and a betterment to a man’s life, but appreciating that betterment is incomplete without acknowledging the consequences of what a Blue Pill life path looks like.
When I agreed to spending most of my day with this man I had a kind of idealistic want to create a memorable time for him. He’s still pretty together mentally, but physically the guy can’t walk for more than 30 yards without getting winded. I took him out to the casinos, he hung out with me and some of the guys I snowmobile with, we drank good bourbon and I had hoped he’d get out of this self-pity by just doing something different for him.
He wouldn’t have it. All he could talk about was his resentment of his wife’s treatment of him “after all he’d done for her over the years”. He’ll be gone inside a year or two and he complains about Blue Pill frustrations as if there’s a chance he might live a better life in the future.
Last April I lost one of my most prized greyhounds to osteosarcoma. He was only 8 years old so it was kind of tragic, but I’d had him x-rayed and caught the signs early enough to manage his pain for an extra month before the pain was too much for him. Literally the day I had him put down, to the hour before, he insisted on going outside to walk in the grass and breath the air, he leaned on me like greys do, but it was an acknowledgement of him knowing it was his time. That dog took the last train home with more dignity and self-awareness than this man will.
I’m not a big fan of Abraham Maslow and his hierarchy of needs, but I do accept his concept of having ‘peak experiences’. I think there is a Blue Pill presumption that those peaks are only peaks if they include their ONEitis girlfriend or wife along there to experience it with them. This is a tragedy because it disqualifies those fantastic life experiences (even stressful ones) because that Beta want of a mutually shared love precedes the capacity to recognize those great peaks.
It is important from a larger meta-life experience to understand just what the implications of a Blue Pill existence are and rise above them. Red Pill awareness isn’t just about getting better and hotter women, it’s about living a better life – when you’re 22 and 92.
February 18th, 2015 at 8:43 am
@447
Good points and some great advice. I am a serial expat and I’ve noticed over the years that the women who I know are most hostile to me (white American women) are also the ones who are the most vehemently opposed to me going overseas and enjoying my life. You’d think they’d want me to GTFO if I’m so unappealing to them but it’s something different with them. They hate the breach of the F.I, even if it’s done by men who have no value to them. I thought that fit in with some of your takes.
Also, you point out the irony of women starting to come along once you no longer value them that much. A guy just can’t win. One of the dullest nights of my life was a whirlwind tour of Bangkok strip clubs. I decided not to indulge beforehand for some reasons of my own. But that wasn’t why it was dull. It was the wide open access to hundreds of beauties. All there for a trivial price. I guess P4P has all different kinds of things to discuss. Maybe TRM is not the place. But though the girls were literally on a pedestal, the figurative pedestal was gone. They were mere flesh and the psychological value was nil. Weird irony. If women caused so much pain that a guy is driven away and then learns to stop pedestalizing, then the next time he does get a woman the whole magical powers his mind used to attribute to her are gone. It’s kind of the conundrum of the whole PUA world. Devalue women and then here they come.
February 18th, 2015 at 8:50 am
@Elias
Your story reminded me of a thing my RP buddies and I have all noticed:
As a single dude, if I get sick and I have more than one fuckbuddy, odds are one of them is going to bring me some soup or offer to do something for me. Because they want me to pick them over the other girls. I get all sorts of sympathy and them going out of their way to bring me anything I need etc.
If I get sick but DON’T have any girls on the go (or the girls I have are too casual for it) then I’m all on my lonesome. It’s super sad, I just lay there crying to myself at my pain thinking “why didn’t I listen to the Blue Pill and just get myself a wife or a girlfriend to ease this lonely suffering” (lol, really I just play xbox and nap and order some comfort delivery food) But after a week I’m back to full health and ready to rock.
But what my buddies in LTRs and I have noticed is that when THEY’RE sick? Sure, they get about a day of sympathy and babying. But the next day? Their girls all shift into “ugh, just suck it up” mode and actually seem REPULSED by them that they would need help. My buddy’s LTR GF of like 5 years wouldn’t even pick him up some cold meds on her way home from work because he had been sick for about a week and ran out.
Girls don’t want their man to be sick, it’s SCARY if their man can be sick and the world can defeat him, he’s supposed to be infallible. They don’t want the guy who lays there sick and asks for help, they want the guy who’s too sick to get up but tries to anyway and they have to FORCE to take a break…so even when they’re sick they have to be or give off the appearance of being a workhorse. I’m sure there’s a Rollo article on this lol
So really, what’s the difference between my buddies and I if I don’t have any girls on the go and we both get sick? They get a day more of sympathy the first day and then they’re in the same boat as I am except they have to worry that if they’re sick for TOO long or complain TOO much, their girl will lose attraction and bail on them lol
The fucked up part is that some of these guys are IN these LTRs because they’re afraid of dying alone. They think the GF/wife who won’t even bring them chicken noodle soup if they’re sick for a week, is going to be at their bedside while they’re in the last few years of their life. Like those chicks are going to just 180 from the behavior they display now and aren’t going to be in that “just die already, this is costing us money” mode.
When Hef is on his deathbed he’s going to have a non-stop parade of visitors dropping in to pay their respects while half my buddies are going to be watching Wheel of Fortune wondering why their wife has abandoned them after they broke their back working a job they hate and gave up their dreams for her for the last 40 years.
NAWALT on this one, I’ve met girls who have very nurturing personalities, but they’re few and far between in our current “why fix it? Just replace it with one that works” culture of no-fault divorce and consumerism mindset, and more IMPORTANTLY the VAST majority of guys don’t SCREEN for it. They are so scared to be alone that they won’t risk screening out a girl who doesn’t have that aspect to her personality. They excuse it and then delude themselves into thinking the girl is going to 180, like she would have ANY motivation to when she’s landed a guy by being how she is.
The hamstering in men blows my mind sometimes lol Like I say some of these guys are RP guys too. I wouldn’t even CONSIDER settling with a girl unless she was displaying a shitload of those nurturing traits on a regular basis. Like, not even a chance.
February 18th, 2015 at 9:59 am
The funny thing is the fear of death/dying alone is just made up in our heads.
There’s a huge possibility that the brain releases a massive amount of DMT upon death. So there’s a great chance we’ll be tripping balls so hard we will have no connection with reality anyway when we kick the bucket.
I’ve almost died a number of times. Gone into anaphylactic shock for one, almost died from pneumonia for another — and when you’re at that point it doesn’t matter who is or isn’t around you. That “oh shit, I’m dying” feeling pretty much makes everything else completely irrelevant, if you can even have the presence of mind to have that feeling.
Even times like recently that I was running a very high fever and was having episodes of delirium, it’s impossible to care what’s going on around you. You’re just gone.
Make no mistake….nobody can save us from our own fear of death. No lifestyle, no amount of friends, women, or quality of woman, etc., can make that fear go away. When it’s our time to die we’re the ones alone who’re going to have to face it.
Making peace with that is all on us individually. It seems scary but there’s some peace in that: it doesn’t matter what kind of life you did or didn’t live because when it comes to death, none of it matters.
That’s why I think it’s important for people to come to terms with their own mortality regardless of whether they have the kind of life they want or not. It puts things in perspective.
On that note, my grandparents had the ideal Red Pill marriage. Married for over 65 years before my grandpa died. My grandma ended up going insane and had to get electroshock therapy because she was so distraught over it all.
Long story short: don’t let the fear of dying alone ruin your life. It’s a pointless fear.
I’ll admit I’m scared as hell of dying. But I know that nobody in my life can change that for me. It’s pointless insofar as it’s pointless to expect anyone else but yourself to do anything about it. We’re all going to die eventually — nobody can save anyone else from that, or their fear of it. So ultimately there’s no point in worrying about it.
You could go your whole life being afraid of what the state of your life is going to be at the time you die….but you never stopped to think about the state of your life while you were alive.
The real thing to fear is settling for something like a miserable marriage, or putting up with women and other people who aren’t bringing value into your life, and are instead bringing you down. And just plain not enjoying yourself.
“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”
~Norman Cousins
So don’t waste your life compromising yourself and your dreams and desires just to relieve some fear of dying alone. When you’re in the throes of death it probably isn’t going to matter at all either way, and all you’ll have ended up doing is selling yourself short during the time you were alive.
The lonely old man thing is a fairytale. Don’t let it scare you. If you can’t find a good woman or form a good RP relationship no matter how hard you try, it’s not like a miserable BP relationship is going to be any better for you than being alone. So we do the best we can — we can only do what we can do.
But yes, it’s important not to buy the BP myth and end up compromising yourself for some false hope that, in the end, won’t pay off at all. Just like it won’t pay off in the short term either.
Main message here: you don’t need to be afraid. It’s safe to let go of all the fears about this stuff. Do the best you can do and don’t worry about the rest. RP knowledge might not guarantee that you’ll find anyone or even be successful in your life — but it can guarantee that you don’t get sucked into a whirlpool of delusions if you stay on top of it and keep the truth in mind.
And there’s plenty of value in that. I think the benefits of unplugging in and of itself are understated. Simply unplugging, completely independent from the outcome(s) of that unplugging, has an incredible amount of value.
Someone threw you a raft in the stormy BP ocean, and you’re on safe land now. Congratulations. Definitely something to be grateful for. Don’t let the FI boogey man pull you back under.
February 18th, 2015 at 11:04 am
“His answer was something I never forgot. He said that the Seattle guys came all that way on Saturdays to buy themselves five extra hours away from their wives. Not fun hours either. It’s not like they’re hiding off in a strip club or something. I mean just sitting on a ferry for an hour, driving down monotonous tree-lined roads–all better than their constant wars. He was dead to nuts serious too. He looked at me like “Dude, just wait.”
I completly believe that.
I see the generation of men above me at work – and I sometimes wonder how/why they pump out those horrendous hours (for European work enviroment, perhaps this is not considered much in the US).
Because, of course, just putting the hours in is no guarantee of a “real” (=lucrative) promotion/career.
Then I checked the grape vine (I usually take great pains to avoid all office politics & revealing any information at all about myself at work) – exactly ONE HUNDERED PERCENT of those guys are (at least in name) married.
They rather work themself to death (just killing the hours, staying away from home) than face their blue pill delusions.
Interesting side note: Their wifes seem to be (paradoxically) unhappy about that.
But because office game and the female social matrix at work is indeed real – I can not and I do not want to “help” them.
As most Betas, they would rather throw someone under the bus (e.g. for saying/thinking the wrong things) than face their own delusions.
Some of them show the traits of “domain dependance” very strongly, falling fully into the pattern of the “office beta”, bossing around new guys, nauseating white knighting for female employees/trainees (we got a lot of those) etc. pp. – while the pool boy (or some other version of me) most likely fucks their wifes at home AND being a total pussy/risk averse/shy of conflict *outside* of the work domain.
On the one hand, I can understand all of this – as mentioned before, I could have been one of those guys.
On the other hand:
Those older guys seriously fucked over us younger guys:
Not beating rampant leftism into submission in the sixities (or better yet, beat it into pulp), caving in to feminism, caving in to all the SWPL/leftist stuff.
THEY could have stopped that, but they did not.
So what should I be thankful for?
I AM thankful for all my father did for me – and for a few other older guys who did the right thing, even if in vain.
But MOST of them?
They threw society to the pack of parasites that destroyed gender relations, relativized culture and civilization, contributed to women going out of control for faux female approval…so I feel no obligation to them at all.
February 18th, 2015 at 11:31 am
At 25 am in the depression stage, constant worry i will not perform.Anxiety and worry plague my mornings and evenings.Hard to sleep. Funny enough the gym alleviates the symptoms. I couldn’t finish reading the manipulated man,Its too depressing.I have come to a conclusion that man is a beast of burden.Marriage is shit.But here in Africa marriage is kinda compulsory.
February 18th, 2015 at 11:43 am
Don’t stress Jason, the next book is only a couple of weeks out and at your age you’ll benefit greatly from it.
Keep lifting.
February 18th, 2015 at 12:11 pm
@ Jason
Hey, I’m also 25. I’ve managed to (and continue to) work through my depression and anxiety. I’ve had it most of my life but reading this stuff kicked it into overdrive — because I had invested so much stock in women as the solution to my depression and anxiety.
I know the feeling of hopelessness and just wanting to give up and drop out of life. When there seems to be no more rewards anymore, or the amount of work to just get the littlest bit of a reward is so extreme that it’s not even worth living long enough to try to attain it —
— a miserable feeling. Hopeless, feelings of no control. But there is a way out of it all.
I highly recommend checking out “Faster EFT.” More at YouTube on the channel “HealingMagic” – I recommend the videos from Habilitat in particular as an intro. They’re about an hour and a half long and are full of information.
If hypergamy is really true, which I believe it is — it’s been true all along. We just didn’t know any better. The nature of women hasn’t changed now that we know better. What we’ve really learned more about is ourselves at the end of the day.
The only hope I’ve found is making peace within myself. We can’t control other people or change the world we live in. But we can develop personal power, peace and control.
The gym will alleviate the symptoms temporarily. The real deal is going inside your mind and cleaning the skeletons out of the closet. And trust me — there is a way out. It’s an ongoing process. But once you start to do it your mind will slowly change over time and you’ll find as time goes on that you’re feeling better, and you have a greater ability to deal with these things that, at the current time, you can’t deal with.
When you’re depressed, anxious, feeling suicidal, etc. — what the hell are you going to do with it? What are your options? Faster EFT gives you another option. Your only option when you don’t have skills and don’t know what to do with your feelings is this: feel bad. But when you get more options the world starts to look like a more manageable place.
I’ve been keeping up with this blog for a while now. The transition has been rough, but I’ve been making it through to the other side. Trust me when I tell you that you’ll be able to manage. You can handle this.
The hardest part for me, as I mentioned earlier, was letting go of women as nurturers/supporters/healers/etc. I saw women/sex as a buffer against all the horrible stuff I had in my mind that I couldn’t deal with — the anxiety, the depression, suicidal impulses, all the bad memories, pain/hurt that I didn’t know how to cope with. I always craved women because I felt like they had some magical ability to make the pain go away.
The truths are hard to accept, but know that you’ll be better off for accepting them. It also isn’t all doom and gloom — it just seems that way because the furniture in your mind is being rearranged.
Also, most importantly: don’t let learning about hypergamy or accepting the reality of it devalue your life. I think the main reason I attempted suicide was because I hated myself and didn’t value my own life.
Hypergamy is one aspect of this world. Relationships with women are just one thing. There is a whole other world out there and there can be people in your life who genuinely care about you and want to support you and see you succeed and be happy. And similarly you yourself can play that role and help other people succeed and make a difference in their lives by showing them that you care about them.
Being cautious with relationships with women and not investing much in them doesn’t mean you have to compromise yourself or your relationships and connections with other people. We’re social creatures, on the same level that we need food and water.
February 18th, 2015 at 12:28 pm
@ Jason
P.S. Not taking a shot at lifting by the way, and committing to regular exercise has been a major factor in the improvement of my quality of life. That’s a great objective way of valuing your own life: building yourself up and respecting yourself enough to want to look good and be at your best.
I’ve spent, and continue to spend, a considerable amount of time keeping myself looking good. I’ve had to educate myself quite a bit about clothes and things. I was clueless before and looked like shit. Also would let my hair and beard grow out so I looked like a homeless person. I’ve got more of a celebrity hairstyle now and have had multiple people say I look like Robert Downey Jr. or Leonardo DiCaprio since I started doing my hair differently.
I actually used Faster EFT in conjunction with everything. I was actually afraid people were going to make fun of me for styling my hair, like my boss was going to make some sarcastic remark or something, etc. So I had a lot of psychological resistance I had to work through just to feel okay about spending money on clothes for myself, or accessories (got some cool rings, made some necklaces for myself, just started experimenting with wearing stuff that I liked).
That’s the fun part. And it really is a lot of fun. I’ve experienced a lot of joy in browsing around looking for cool clothes at shops and online and trying new things. Some things that I thought would look crazy but I thought looked really cool — and getting over the resistance to worrying about how people would perceive me, what they would think, etc. And just doing it because I thought it looked cool.
Now it’s a regular habit for me to keep myself looking sharp, at least compared to what I looked like before. Multiple people would actually tell me I looked like a homeless person. So going from that to being compared to some celebrities is a huge change. And it reflects the change I’ve experienced in my own self-esteem and self-valuation.
I’ve also spent a LOT of time researching nutrition and am also on a hair mineral analysis program. Supplementing with minerals (especially potassium and magnesium) has had a tremendous effect over time on my emotional stability and energy levels.
So it’s all a continuum.
I just like to highlight the emotional/psychological aspects because I do think they’re understated, especially with all the talk about being Alpha. I think there’s a misguided idea that being Alpha means sweeping your emotions under the rug. This is completely false and also harmful, not to mention counterproductive.
IMO, being a real man involves being aware of your emotions with the end goal of being in control of them. Strong men don’t just push their emotions aside or sweep them under the rug — they face them head on, accept them for what they are, and have the skills to deal with them.
This doesn’t necessarily mean expressing them at all to anyone, like the FI would have us believe. “Communication is everything.”
In a sense, it is…but inner communication is the most important. You have to be real with yourself. I can recognize that I’m feeling horrible, but then also weigh my options and recognize that spilling my guts to a girl I’m pursuing is NOT a good idea.
That way I’m not repressing what I’m feeling or struggling against myself. I’m being real with myself and developing more personal power and control. Very important.
February 18th, 2015 at 1:14 pm
Thanks Softek & Rollo…. the transition is difficult but it will be done.I will research on the EFT method and work on to it.But guys life here in Africa is far difficult….no money…. poverty is rampant here in my place…i moved out of my parents after graduating from University….lots of people here are angry and depressed. I found the redpill through PUA research, ended up here from ROK. Its tough here rebooting considering that money is a huge determinant in poor countries.Do you realise i can’t afford any of Rollos books ? I am broke i only have money to pay rent and feed myself. Without money its difficult. When i get a job i guess it will be easier.My internet bandwith is about to end. Thanks alot Rollo & Softek.
February 18th, 2015 at 1:39 pm
Well there is that brother but at the same time I wouldn’t make to much out of that Melmouth. I think men need breaks from the everyday domestic/ civilized life to be alive and we are the kind of men who need that sort of thing more often and in bigger/ more intense way
More then a few of my crew had happy domestic lives but that is not really living. It’s more like recovery time so you can go out and feel alive again
February 18th, 2015 at 1:52 pm
Once you bang about a hundred chicks they are just part of the background noise. Like Melmoth was saying, an then it really takes on a life of its own
YaReally’s dead on about being sick and it’s easy to explain if you realize how deadly getting sick has been throughout most of human history
February 18th, 2015 at 3:18 pm
YaReally, SFC Ton, others: You’ve likely read this, but this post is very relevant:
http://therationalmale.com/2013/11/13/empathy/
Softek: “Main message here: you don’t need to be afraid. It’s safe to let go of all the fears about this stuff. Do the best you can do and don’t worry about the rest. RP knowledge might not guarantee that you’ll find anyone or even be successful in your life — but it can guarantee that you don’t get sucked into a whirlpool of delusions if you stay on top of it and keep the truth in mind.
And there’s plenty of value in that. I think the benefits of unplugging in and of itself are understated. Simply unplugging, completely independent from the outcome(s) of that unplugging, has an incredible amount of value.”
I agree. The RP is ultimately about truth. Having a more accurate vision of how the world works is certainly useful in attaining success, but nothing can ensure success.
I haven’t progressed enough yet to say that digesting the red pill has had a gigantic impact on the external aspects of my life. But I already feel that the decisions, changes, successes, and failures that I’ve since encountered are more fully my own. There is a sense of purposeful, goal-oriented action, and gradual assimilation of practical knowledge grounded in theory rather than vague myth or supposition – particularly wrt interpersonal relationships.
My old perspective was – let me just follow the steps laid out before me and wait for opportunities to do things that I want present themselves. Have faith they will appear in response to my faithful adherence to the script.
Overall, my perspective now is – how do I create the sort of world around myself that I want to exist in? Anyone or anything that assists that goal is welcome; anyone or anything that hinders it I remove from myself.
Again, you’ve no doubt read this, but for new lurkers:
http://therationalmale.com/2014/11/14/mental-point-of-origin/
http://therationalmale.com/2014/09/29/a-new-hope/
http://therationalmale.com/2014/12/30/mutiny/
February 18th, 2015 at 3:22 pm
YaReally, SFC Ton, others: You’ve likely read this, but this post is very relevant:
http://therationalmale.com/2013/11/13/empathy/
Softek: “Main message here: you don’t need to be afraid. It’s safe to let go of all the fears about this stuff. Do the best you can do and don’t worry about the rest. RP knowledge might not guarantee that you’ll find anyone or even be successful in your life — but it can guarantee that you don’t get sucked into a whirlpool of delusions if you stay on top of it and keep the truth in mind.
And there’s plenty of value in that. I think the benefits of unplugging in and of itself are understated. Simply unplugging, completely independent from the outcome(s) of that unplugging, has an incredible amount of value.”
I agree. The RP is ultimately about truth. Having a more accurate vision of how the world works is certainly useful in attaining success, but nothing can ensure success.
I haven’t progressed enough yet to say that digesting the red pill has had a gigantic impact on the external aspects of my life. But I already feel that the decisions, changes, successes, and failures that I’ve since encountered are more fully my own. There is a sense of purposeful, goal-oriented action, and gradual assimilation of practical knowledge grounded in theory rather than vague myth or supposition – particularly wrt interpersonal relationships.
My old perspective was – let me just follow the steps laid out before me and wait for opportunities to do things that I want present themselves. Have faith they will appear in response to my faithful adherence to the script.
Overall, my perspective now is – how do I create the sort of world around myself that I want to exist in? Anyone or anything that assists that goal is welcome; anyone or anything that hinders it I remove from myself.
Again, you’ve no doubt read this, but for new lurkers:
http://therationalmale.com/2014/11/14/mental-point-of-origin/
http://therationalmale.com/2014/09/29/a-new-hope/
http://therationalmale.com/2014/12/30/mutiny/
February 18th, 2015 at 4:32 pm
@ Softek
As you hinted at with your DMT sentence, repeated use of entheogens tends to be quite effective at reducing fear of death
February 18th, 2015 at 4:53 pm
Most of the things that make my life enjoyable are small in nature. I don’t think the Red Pill will bring some giant moment of clarity and joy but all those little things add up.
I also have to say, I enjoy being a man and my life of unapologetic masculinty. No one has enjoyed either more then me. Maybe some men have enjoyed these things just as much, but most def not more then me so maybe it was more like icing on the cake and ice cream vs a rebirth or whatever metaphor works best
Forge the sky, joy comes in forging your own life. Your on it brother just keep it moving forward. All attacks fail if they stall out
February 18th, 2015 at 5:39 pm
fantastic post…
‘ Red Pill awareness isn’t just about getting better and hotter women, it’s about living a better life – when you’re 22 and 92.’
ex-fucking-actly!
https://redmalehummingbird.wordpress.com/2015/02/18/no-turning-back-loneliness-and-umbilical-cord/
I just wrote about what being a RedPiller means. It might means loneliness, but it also might mean something better.
if you don’t have wife and kids you can do whatever you want with your free time. You can become a couch potato but you can also get fit, eat well and follow your passions. Jump out of that plane with a parachute finally! And no, you don’t need your GF to jump out with you to make this experience valuable! Or more valuable. Consider this: If you jump out alone, you’ll get more potential GF waiting on the ground (a metaphor, but you get my point ;) )
February 18th, 2015 at 10:25 pm
@melmoth
I agree and have the exact same thoughts. Watching someone at the end of their life is a painful reminder of how it’s most likely going to be for you as well in your last days. It is very cynical to think that way, but on the other hand it’s also a reminder that your life is also a gift and that you can enjoy the vast majority of it, if you make the best decisions you can. I did a recollection of the happiest times of my life, and stuff like losing my virginity ranks pretty below other things. Here are the happiest moments of my life: 1. The first time I rode a motorcycle over 100 MPH, 2. The first time I landed in a foreign country, 3. The first time I hydroplaned on a windsurfing board, etc. etc. 18. Lost my virginity to someone I didn’t even really like and was bored after 15 minutes. It’s amazing how if someone tell us we should be focusing all our efforts into something, people just go along with it, not even realizing that most likely don’t even enjoy it. I really do understand Hunter S. Thompson, if you know nothing but absolute misery and suffering is coming, a bullet to your brain you probably don’t even feel before you die.
February 18th, 2015 at 11:10 pm
@Elias,
Somebody needs a puppy. Or prozac, whatever’s your poison.
Losing my virginity was pretty fun all told. Not my very happiest memory of all time but I wouldn’t trade it. It’s only in a reality where sex is the divine cause and purpose of all creation that disillusionment skulks and destroys.
You are human. Humans die. Death is preceded by decay and diminishment, if it is not premature. So become good at being human.
February 19th, 2015 at 12:00 am
Rollo and Softek brings up some good things that really need pondered by each man. it has me thinking for sure. You cannot fully trust your wife and daughters decision making when you become old and infirm; a man will need to make provisions for sure.
The average life expectancy before the early 20th century was in the 30’s and now worldwide is around 67. Those older men had real wisdom about life to impart to other young men; even reaching an old age was an accomplishment for sure.
This society doesn’t value fathers, let alone sagely old grandfathers anymore; our culture in fact makes fun and belittles them. After a lifetime of being the societal mule p3laying by the older rulebooks, men who make to an infirm age simply get shipped off to poorly run Nursing Homes like the man Rollo talks about in the article.
Let go of the notion there will be pretty young nurses to flirt with in your final days. Nursing Homes are a ‘growth industry'; meaning they will increasingly be staffed by cheaper labor, namely contemptuous post-wall neck-tatoo gothic feminists that smell like cigarettes and cats.
I would rather feebly crawl into the woods and be torn apart by hungry dogs; because there is less cruelty in that death.
February 19th, 2015 at 12:07 am
Who do you trust to give you the best eulogy, your wife or your best male friend?
Would your wife be relieved to have him do it for her?
February 19th, 2015 at 1:38 am
.@ melmoth: “I am a serial expat and I’ve noticed over the years that the women who I know are most hostile to me (white American women) are also the ones who are the most vehemently opposed to me going overseas and enjoying my life. You’d think they’d want me to GTFO if I’m so unappealing to them but it’s something different with them. They hate the breach of the F.I, even if it’s done by men who have no value to them. I thought that fit in with some of your takes.”
Compliments for pulling of the expat move – I’m stuck here, one of the reasons is my job, which is really my dream job. That means constantly monitoring for changes in the law similar to “common law marriage” in the Anglosphere, keeping finances strictly separated etc.pp. So far, it is worth the effort for me.
Same thing here in Germany. Women (at least above what is considered ‘white trash’ in different words here) take great pains to copycat all the media terms about “equality”, “antiracism” etc. pp.
But that second you even HINT at going to pussy places – oh so suddenly they ‘rediscover’ the love for their bloodline and their people :-D , and immediatly the wannabe-NS-propaganda spurts out. (The fact non-withstanding that German women just seem to love-love-love the most dirty and anti-social immigrant men in their youth, the darker the skin and the closer to Islam the better, ROK mentions it in “Germany is a social graveyard”.)
It doesn’t even have to be Thai – you can just casually mention you went to France and the people there were friendly…they start pinging for topics like “French mistress”. You casually mention Spain and that people there are pretty open minded and can hold a casual conversation very well (which, to be truthful, Germans barly can)…they start pinging for really stupid sterotypes like the “hot and esay Latina”.
Yeah, right… as if beautiful French girls and hot Latinas all over the world wait for some SAUERKRAUTPANZER-dick from Germany all year – ok, a few do. ;-) In all honesty, I rather attribute that to a subset of women’s love for strange men and strange dick than game or skill.
Fun fact:
After just two articles in major publications that did more than repeat the usual stereotypes about men going abroad for all the evil, wrong evil-men-reasons…the topic has not been touched by major media for some time.
Why?
Because the result of two different approaches (one interview-based, one by a scientist) found out that (paraphrasing) men go abroad because of a lack of traditional femininity, not because they look for some sex-slave with their evil white male gaze. The scientist checked for education, income and body weight of those men – lo and behold! – men going abroad are usually NOT fatter, poorer or less educated than men who don’t, it’s actually closer to the opposite.
(German links:
What German men like about foreign women
http://www.welt.de/wissenschaft/article1800570/Was-deutsche-Maenner-an-Auslaenderinnen-finden.html
Which men go for foreign brides from poor countries (Sociology)?
http://www.faz.net/aktuell/gesellschaft/familie/soziologie-welche-deutschen-maenner-heiraten-frauen-aus-armen-laendern-11557915.html)
Interesting addition to Beta Bux:
Indeed women from the West seem to MARRY men from their home country in the vast majority of cases (second article, p. 2, exact numbers not given) – one can not help but notice the little word “marry” as opposed to “desire”, “have intercourse with” or “fantasize about”…
February 19th, 2015 at 1:58 am
@ “You cannot fully trust your wife and daughters decision making when you become old and infirm; a man will need to make provisions for sure.
[…]
I would rather feebly crawl into the woods and be torn apart by hungry dogs; because there is less cruelty in that death.”
Simple solution:
Smith & Wesson retirement plan.
Complex solution:
1) invest in regular retirement provisions AND
2) SAVE money in a safe way that is not directly linked to the economy – there is a reason that banksters and their lap(top)-dogs constantly try to belittle “grandpa stuffing money in his matress” and try to convince you to invest in their schemes: The majority has to lose when investing, and old people know that. ALL money that a bank can access…one push of the button, BLAM, the state forbids them to pay it out (–>Greece), it is devalued or whatever the latest hook-nosed trick is. “National emergency”, whatever, there is always a law there, hidden for the right moment when the reset comes.
I’m running with something I read many years ago – and find it to be true:
Above pure subsistence level (hint: if you can read this on a computer screen across a legal access, you are above that level), you can ALWAYS safe 10% each month.
This notion, which I found in a self-help-forum, really stuck with me.
I have been doing this for quite some years now and nobody except my father knows where the money is. (My mother is fine, but would spill it the moment some authority figure got to her alone)
Good month, bad month, want-to-buy-this-now, rain or shine… DON’T TOUCH IT, DON’T tell anybody.
After one year I increased it to 15% – and this was really creepy: One day, my bank calls and my accountant ASKS me about the fact that 10 to 20% of my money seem to be “not there”….that was really an Orwellian moment for me – just prompting me to keep it up. I declined the kind offer to invest in some shit – problem solved, because saving is not illegal. :-D
February 19th, 2015 at 1:58 am
@ forge the sky – I would also add
http://therationalmale.com/2014/11/23/vulnerability/
Old men are definitely seen as an inconvenience to the FI; their productive mule days are over – Wife thought bubble = ‘just die already you old coot and hand over the insurance policy’.
FI boilerplate – Dirty old man, silly old man, grumpy old men, etc etc
Men are up against it from the cradle to the grave.
February 19th, 2015 at 7:53 am
I labored over my father’s eulogy last week. I did it for social proof and DHV in the the eyes of my family, wife and children.
Heh. Heheh.
I went through 25 revisions and imposed upon a friend, English teacher, for two hours. And I delivered it without a tear. Worked for me.
February 19th, 2015 at 8:17 am
Be short in delivering a eulogy. 5-6 minutes. Determine the deceased’s Meyer’s Briggs type and tell a narrative about his strengths. Leave out 100% of that person’s weaknesses.
February 19th, 2015 at 11:05 am
@Stuttie,
Imagine how that would feel…to be more or less coherent and to just know without a doubt that the dried up old cunt just can’t wait for you to croak so she can score some gemstones, new furniture or whatever with the payouts once you bite it. The emptiness of that moment when you just know she wants you gone. That deadness in her eye as she sits there, like ‘Why do I have to even sit here. It’s not in my interests!’ . I don’t mean that it ALWAYS happens that way. Certainly not. But it certainly must happen in the millions. Just imagine the darkness of that moment. Not only is it grim as hell that you know you’re going to die but you also get that glimpse of who she really was. Maybe for the first time. And you had handed it all over for her. Your whole goddamn life. All those trips you could have taken to the Phills or wherever, but no, it was all for ‘The One’ and she can’t wait for you to keel. Oh man, that is darker than hell. RP awareness for the first time when you only have a day or two to go. Chills. You simply cannot live for someone else. It leads to a darkness that is so much worse than any of the ‘old man dying alone’ stuff. Dying alone will suck but nothing like the realization that you were duped and you muled it all away for this fucking stranger who can’t wait for that Carnival cruise departing next Friday.
February 19th, 2015 at 2:28 pm
Paulo, but the law gives this child the power to divorce theft. There is no solution.
February 19th, 2015 at 4:09 pm
Jason,
Pick The Manipulated Man back up and finish it. Villar also wrote “The Polygamus Sex”. Your age provides great opportunity. Read all the books by Robert Green referenced here by Rollo. Reading all this stuff carefully, paying attention to what is really happening to you & around you and becoming aware is like psychologically working out. It is challenging if you want to advance. The challenge is worth the effort. It will make you more aware even if you don’t have much experience. The truth is the only real foundation. At first you will be “sore” but over time you will develope strength, become more grounded and aquire the knowledge and skills to control your life to YOUR satisfaction and not live at the mercy of others. Give this serious and detailed consideration. Consider the teachings here to be a liberation of your mind. Welcome to freedom. The truths of these writings can only help you because they are “how the world works”. Read The Prince by Niccolò Machiavelli also. It is a 500 year old classic.
Rollo,
Will your new book be available in Kindle format immediately when it is published?
February 19th, 2015 at 4:20 pm
Pfft,..what do you think is holding it up now?
February 19th, 2015 at 4:26 pm
Is there some bullshit politics slowing the process or is the process just typically slow?
February 19th, 2015 at 5:10 pm
@Jason:
“At 25 am in the depression stage, constant worry i will not perform.Anxiety and worry plague my mornings and evenings.Hard to sleep. Funny enough the gym alleviates the symptoms. I couldn’t finish reading the manipulated man,Its too depressing.I have come to a conclusion that man is a beast of burden.Marriage is shit.But here in Africa marriage is kinda compulsory.”
As one African to another, “.But here in Africa marriage is kinda compulsory”…No brother it is not. It may be expected by society but it is not compulsory. Not in this day and age.
Secondly, I’m also on the grind, working on me, and my shit, and it is hard in our part of the world (especially after being raised in the FI)…but as a man, we must accept that there’s a price for every goal we seek to achieve. And I’m 33, still on it brother…so you can imagine how society looks at a guy like me. But after I awoke and realised what I need to give a fuck about, my course is more clear.
Yes, we burden, the question is…for who?
You might not be able to afford Rollo’s books, but this site has a tonne bruv…plus Rollo is always open for reply’s and, as he said, he’ll be paying more attention to the comments.
Many of your fellow men are here to be a sounding board…
So, yeah man, keep on grinding, study the information on this site and work on you, and your shit, for you….self improvement brother. Player no# 1….
The common saying right now is, “Mwanaume ni effort”…”A man is effort” directly translated, i.e. A man is what he does, how much he puts in…
February 19th, 2015 at 5:21 pm
@Not Born This Morning
No I’m just being extra careful with it this time. I don’t want to have to go back and re-edit lame mistakes. As soon as book 2 drops I’ll be going back over TRM to correct the print version.
I got a copy editor and a ePub guy for this one.
February 19th, 2015 at 7:16 pm
Thanks for the encouragement, ‘Ton. This can be a tough row to hoe, but every man I know worth imitating seems to have done so.
February 19th, 2015 at 8:32 pm
LOL I have more cash in my gun safe’s then I do the bank.
Forge the sky, it’s the struggle that makes the man.
https://tonsplace.wordpress.com/2014/11/26/making-men/
February 20th, 2015 at 12:46 am
[…] reader at The Rational Male wrote, you can ALWAYS (save) 10% each […]
February 20th, 2015 at 12:54 am
@447 RE: you can ALWAYS safe 10% each month
The @WallStPlayboys (their Twitter handle) are legitimately set for life.
I appreciate the wisdom I have learned from them.
They have a completely different opinion about saving 10% of ones income.
February 20th, 2015 at 3:32 am
[…] The Rational Male is the most important blog on earth. […]
February 20th, 2015 at 8:27 am
@447
Nice post. I think I missed that the other day somehow. Very interesting. Yup. No 180 like the 180 done by multicultural-head SJW’s when Richie Cunningham decides he wants some old gold, TIGHT, South-Asian skin. Ha ha. Then their ‘colorblind’ self-congratulation festival comes to a screeching halt. “Oh my God! Trafficking! They’re submissive, that’s why you like them! You must be a pedophile because that 23 year old looks 16!”
Germany with a RP outlook must be cool. So many places nearby for some Male Imperative action, hopefully.
February 20th, 2015 at 10:19 am
Money is a tool which almost everyone uses incorrectly and advice about money is really about middle conning middle class.folk into transferring their .money to wealthy folk and those who get rich off usury
https://tonsplace.wordpress.com/2015/01/14/money-for-tools-i-mean-money-as-a-tool/
February 20th, 2015 at 12:56 pm
@SFC Ton
Money is abstraction for time. Nothing more, nothing less.
February 23rd, 2015 at 1:24 pm
Got it admit…this is something that currently haunts me.
I am mid-life. Learned about Red Pill about 4 years ago or so. Been struggling with the knowledge ever since. I guess it put a little more spin on the obligatory mid-life crisis.
Your past ineptness and cluelessness with women does haunt you, no doubt, and it makes you long to re-do so much of that part of your life.
That said, you are right, it goes far deeper. It becomes a inner-dialogue with yourself, wondering what you might have accomplished, what you might have achieved had you not being following other people’s scripts. Seeing now how you were led astray, you wonder how you can make the most of the time, and the life, you have left.
The question is, then, what to do about it now? Particularly if you are married, have kids. Your ability to maneuver is limited, or is that simply the Blue Pill mindset talking?
March 16th, 2015 at 11:56 pm
[…] she asks. Rinaldi’s answer: “Sleeping with a lot of guys is going to make me feel better on my deathbed. I’m going to feel like I lived, like I didn’t spend my life in a box. If I had kids and […]