What is this in reference to? I’ve said this to my wife before, that was the only reason I got married. To have kids. She didn’t appreciate it, but it is still the only motivation on balance.

This is what my ex did to me, and I didn’t even realize it. Moving to her town would have resulted in a 2.5 hour commute each way to work for me and all my work was in NYC so there was no moving to that town.

The other challenge is when they become teens. Try showing up “every day” in your teen child’s life as a non-custodial parent. Good luck. They are trying to avoid their custodial parent as much as possible, you will fall a distant second.

It sounds like your ex did overplay her hand, but many do not. In my case the alienation was done so subtly and gradually, I didn’t realize what was happening precisely until years later when my adult daughter was treating me like shit that got caught to her shoe. When we had been quite close while she was young.

Consider visitation with a teen child as an example. With sports, are you going to take your child away from their teams for the weekend? And their friends? If you live 40 miles away, that’s the deal. Also, when my ex started to tell me that “it’s up to you to organize your visitation with Alice” when she became a teenager, I thought that it made sense. Fyi, it was only once I spoke to a psychologist who specializes in parental alienation that she explained that this is how many an ex-wife cuts Dad out of the equation. My daughter kept pushing our time together around, and I always felt like she shouldn’t have to suffer because her mom and I were divorced, so I compromised and gave up bits here and there.

But the reality is that while I did see her regularly in her teen years, the visits were much shorter, and she rarely stayed over with me, agreed to go away for the weekend to see my family or go skiing as we had when she was younger. I made the huge mistake of writing this off to being a teenager. I felt that we had made a good foundation when she was young and while she was troublesome and not always respectful at times, I just wrote that off to typical teen life and that she and I would become closer once she didn’t live with mom anymore. I’d ask myself, “How many of my married friends are close to their teen daughters and spend a lot of one on one time with them?”

This is how I helped shave my role of father down to a nub. My bottom line? Being the non-custodial parent will erode your parental relationship no matter what. If she remarries while the kids are younger than say, 14, you will be marginalized even more.

The only solution is to take custody. Spike you ex with drugs and have her drug tested. Frame her for some sort of felony. Do anything you have to do to get those kids living under your roof most of the time. That is the only way to not be marginalized as a father.

First – in all things in life – everything – from mundane workaday to “red pill”, I notice that the most important thing is this:

Show up.

Be physically present. A problem with “red pill” is at day end even if it comes with insights impossible otherwise, it still is 4 steps of 5 to an ideology and in that respect it shares the same weaknesses all ideologies share – people begin believing their own ideas over facts, they begin smelling their own farts and thinking its roses.

Show up. No matter what “warfare” you believe is being waged against dads, no matter what “blue pill” sensitivities you think people have, at day end … guys, this is one of the most basic “alpha” lessons out there:

… at day end – they will form their ideas around the PHYSICAL presence you IMPOSE upon them.

So – for dads – it amounts to this:

Show up. Every day.
No kidding, every day.

And the places where you think you will be least welcome, i.e.: the school, or kids’ sports or church other social context where you THINK she is burning the midnight oil to turn people against you …

Show up. Children in tow. And you don’t have to do anything special – just parent your kids.

The power of your presence will be so strong, and magnified so by the presence of you, together with your children who you are obviously responsible for and caring for NO MATTER WHAT ANY A–HOLE THINKS OF YOU … that will overwhelm all other things.

It has amounted to this in my case: my ex did the whole kitchen sink of things we complain about in the manosphere I won’t list them all – but it was ALL of them – but one of them was she tried viciously to turn people against me at our place of worship and for six months it was working.

Until it all came apart – because it was all her ideas, and emotions, and hateful words, which came up against me being present, and being present, and being present, and never conforming to what she said and never agreeing to be what she claimed I was – merely by making myself physically present. In the end and to this day, the whole thing backfired on her.

People are out there who hate their dads. You can’t do anything about that because among other things: the world is not wont for a–hole dads. Don’t worry about them. Fight back with your presence. Show up.

Also, even though the internet can be used to spread red pill knowledge it is also more than often used to reinforce blue pill bliefs. I’ve been on all kinds of sites and I’ve seen a lot of examples where all the blame goes to the father and the mother is not questioned even once.

Thank you for your “caring.”

“Try Dalrock bro, but even there this is thin gruel. You post like a Care Bear.”
Assuredly so, and you?

“Sharing is caring? Like double hellfire it is. Plus Glenn is not sharing willingly.”

That’s true. Perhaps he’s hurting. I have hurt my lower back in my life, to the point that I couldn’t even get off of the couch… and you?

“We dragged this story out of him over many posts.”

That’s true. But he’s here, working through his shit. And you?

Look, man, I’m sure that you are perfect, but, perhaps, the rest of us are not. We all have our challenges—if that doesn’t apply to you, then, congratulations… not exactly sure why you’re here, bro.

Look man, still praying for you. I pray for me, too, so please don’t take it as anything too particular. Similar situation, different details.

To be clear, NOT praying for what’s right, but merely for the lifting of pain… that’s the extent of the prayers… the lifting of pain. A better man would pray for more, but I’ve been down that path, too many times to count, so my prayers only extend so far, realistically… to relief of pain.

“My ego and identity was far too invested in it all.”

I hear that. That’s a whole other *BLOG* that Rollo could potentially start.

“I know, it sounds like heresy – consider where that sentiment comes from inside you.”

I know *exactly* where that sentiment comes from inside of me—that’s why I’m praying. It’s sobering to think of “where that sentiment comes from inside of me.”

“The Red Pill allows me to see this clearly and to act in my interests instead of playing to some script society has handed me.”

I live by no societal standard, but rather, a different standard—again, that’s why I’m praying.

Anyway, look, you have a friend here, that’s it. Best wishes, man… with the relief of pain, and all.

Think I’m going to now go lay on some ice, myself. Best to you.

wish I had that grandmotherly advice, yeesh. Coulda used some breaking out of my stick-up-the-ass purity crap.

I have an alpha father though, so that’s helped in the long run. Huh, when I think of it my younger brother may have too – he’s a natural, but it’s hard to learn from a younger brother until you get to an age where the age difference isn’t significant.

Before that, you tend to look up to the older brother. My older brother is gay. Maybe that explains a lot, actually.