In the last comment thread Rational Male regular, Glenn, had an interesting exchange that went like this:
My marriage exactly. And she really did turn on me by the time my daughter was 2, also having two miscarriages. It was as though a switch went off and she simply fucking hated me. In my case, I had too much dignity and many women who were interested in me who seemed quite fine, so I put my foot down and my ex then just began an affair with a Plan B she had in the wings (hotties always have a Plan B guys, especially wives). She married him and destroyed him too, but it wrecked my relationship with my daughter along the way. So much destruction and pain.
I often look back on my marriage now from the RP perspective and have started to blame myself for not being more dominant and not seeing shit tests for what they were etc, but I also wonder if there was anything I could have done? She was hot, there were always good looking guys willing to fuck her – I mean, is it just inevitable for some women?
As I’m finishing up the final edits of the next book, I’m once again reminded of its main purpose – a cautionary explanation of what men can expect of contemporary women at the various phases of their maturity. In Anger Management I detailed the anger men direct at themselves, not at the women who followed a natural predictable ‘flow’ of rationalizations and social conventions they can be expected to as their conditions in life dictate. Naturally any anger a man may deal with or express in this regard is always presumed to be directed towards women. A feminine dominant social order is one founded on the innate solipsism of women.
Now, before I dig in a bit deeper here, I want to make clear that while Glenn’s comment started my thinking process about this week’s topic, what I’m going to get at here isn’t a reflection on anything personal. His story of being “turned on” by a wife he believed was playing on his team is a very common one related by many a post-divorced man using the hindsight of a Red Pill lens.
I’m adding this caveat since only Glenn can really say for himself whether his mindset at the time he first met, and later married, the wife who turned on him was colored by Blue Pill idealism and / or a Beta self-perception. My guess, as with most men in his situation, was that he actually had what was a realistic expectation of a reciprocal relationship based on what he thought would be her genuine appreciation of his efforts and merits.
Betas at the Epiphany
I’ve discussed in several prior threads the Alpha Fucks / Beta Bucks strategy women use in both the short and long term. What I think needs a bit more explanation is the long term effects of that strategy on the Beta man’s mindset as a result of his fem-centric conditioning.
When a woman approaches and enters into her Epiphany Phase, she has a limbic understanding that her genetic chips need to be cashed in with a man who has ‘proper’ long term provisioning potential. For the greater part, those men are at least expected by women to have a Blue Pill, Beta conditioning that will make them more compliant with, now, what’s becoming an unignorable open Hypergamy.
These are the men Sheryl Sandberg describes as,
“…someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home.”
These are nice euphemisms used to describe a man willing to accept his position of powerlessness in the grand scheme of feminine-primacy and open Hypergamy for his participation in realizing women’s dominant sexual strategy.
The Beta man encountering this new found attraction convinces himself that women’s interest in him is genuine and organic. In a sense it is, but although this attraction (not to be confused with arousal) is perceived as genuine on the part of women, it’s an attraction born of necessity. That necessity is the need to consolidate on monogamy with a man who’ll willingly ignore not just her past Alpha Fucks indiscretions, but participate in what he’s been conditioned to believe is his duty as a man from society and start to build a “mature adult” life with her.
A Beta at the Epiphany phase believes his ship has finally come in and his self-righteous AFC strategy of patience and perseverance will be rewarded. The social conventions at the time make him believe he’s to be more lauded for ‘forgiving’ a woman’s past, irrespective of whether he can expect praise for looking past her misgivings.
The Alpha Widow or carousel riding wife-to-be may then convince herself that she in fact actually sees an Alpha potential, or a potential for long term success, in ‘settling’ on that Beta in the long term. While I have had men relate horror stories about women knowing that they were settling and being insecure about their futures before or at the time of their wedding, I’m going to suggest that this foreknowledge is rarely a conscious aspect of women’s insight. “Turning” on their husband-to-be later in is life rarely a preconceived plan, but it is a predictable outcome for men who persist in a Beta mindset throughout their marriages.
Getting Her Settled Best
Saving the Best continues to be a seminal post on Rational Male, not the least of which because so many men could relate to the experience. However, this may not have been the experience of discovering a sexual past his wife had no intention of ever allowing him to share with her , but rather the expectation men have of receiving a woman’s ‘sexual best’ in marriage. That may not amount to the sexual experimentation she had in her Party Years, but for a Beta who believes his patience and virtue are to be rewarded at long last it is an expectation of enjoying the same or better sexual urgency his wife-to-be shared with her past lovers.
That Beta believes it’s his turn, because why else would a woman commit to a lifetime investment in a man she didn’t think was her best option?
Remember, during the Epiphany Phase a woman’s rationale for choosing the Beta for a long term investment is because she’s “experienced it all” and finally “knows better than to keep dating the Bad Boys who don’t appreciate her.” Thus the Beta believes he must be the best option for her by virtue of her investment in that belief.
And if she’s finally come to realize he’s the best option, why would she not expect to enjoy her best sexual performance with him? After all, even Sheryl Sandberg said, “…in time, nothing’s sexier.”
For the Alpha Widow marrying the Beta-in-waiting, the comparison of his sexual appeal with prior lovers conflicts with her need to finalize the long term security she couldn’t with her previous Alphas (or the men she perceived as Alpha). Thus comes reserved, self-restrained and self-conscious sex with her new Beta provider. She knows that sex with her Beta lacks the intensity of her prior lovers, but falls back on her Epiphany Phase rationalizations that she’s “doing it for the right reasons this time”.
That right reason being of course getting pregnant to further consolidate long term provisioning.
Our Beta simply lacks the same sexual experience as his wife-to-be to know any better (unless of course he finds proof of that experience later), but he gradually suspects her progressive lack of passion, reservations and self-consciousness by comparing it to porn or some of the other women’s he’s had sex with.
Social conventions abound for women to rely on as they become less incentivized to have sex with their Beta after the first child. Body image considerations, ‘mismatched libidos’ and “well, sex is supposed to taper off after marriage, everyone knows that” are just some of the prepackaged tropes ready for use.
The Turning
Once the first (and possibly second) child arrives, a woman’s order of intimate priorities changes, “turns” to that of the child. The sex “reward”, the ‘cookie time for good boy’, for desired behavior or performance ‘turns’ off, or sex is used as an intermittent reward for desired behavior (i.e. Choreplay). Sex becomes a utility; a positive reinforcer for her Beta increasing his provisioning capacity rather than the true visceral enjoyment she had with her past lovers.
This new functionality sex represents to a wife becomes ‘turning’ on her husband who believed he would always be her most intimate priority. In the instance of a woman marrying her ‘Alpha Provider’ this may in fact be the case, but as with the hierarchies of love that Alpha doesn’t have the same concern with, and didn’t marry his wife under the same pre-expectations a Beta does.
For the man who persists in his Beta mindset (or the guy who regresses into that mindset) this ‘turning’ becomes more and more pronounced. The turning comes out of the bedroom and into other aspects of their relationship – finances, familial ties, her expectations of his ambitiousness, his asserting himself at work or with their mutual friends – on more and more fronts he’s compared to other men and the ghosts of the Alphas she knows or has known.
Even though the Beta is aware his children are now his wife’s true priority, his Blue Pill conditioning still predisposes him to sacrifices. Again, he meets with ready-made social conventions that shame his discontent; “Is sex all that’s important to you?” It shouldn’t be, because it’s really “what’s on the inside that counts”, but he can’t shake the feeling he’s slipping out of her respect.
This is when Beta Dad doubles down. His Blue Pill expectations of himself require an all-consuming, self-sacrificing predisposition. The horse will work harder. His wife may have lost respect for him by this point, but his sense of honor and duty press him on. He doesn’t want to be like his oppressive or non-present father was. He wants to ‘out-support’ his father’s ghost, or what he believes ‘other guys’ would do when their marriages get tough.
So he waits it out, but she’s ‘turned’ on him by this point. It wasn’t planned, but all of his martyr-like determination only makes her that much more resentful for having settled on this Beta. After a certain stressing point, her disinterest or indignation goes even beyond his capacity to stay committed to a losing investment. These are the guys who tell me, “Damn Rollo, where where you when I was 30? I wish I’d known then what I know now.”
Do all marriages and relationships follow this schedule? No, but it’s important that men know the signs, understand what’s really expected of them and know when they’re being settled on despite all a woman’s self-interested refutations of that. It’s important they realize that performance isn’t limited to how well they meet a woman’s expectations, but that performance means ignoring those preconceptions and exceeding them because he has a passion to excel on his own, and for himself.
It’s important that he lives in his own Frame and that any woman, wife or otherwise, participates in his Frame at his pleasure. Beta men rarely have those expectations, beginning from a position of scarcity and a preconditioned responsibility to forgive a woman’s sexual strategy while still being gushingly appreciative that she chose him to settle on.
January 23rd, 2015 at 9:44 am
@ KrpytoKate – You may be the only honest woman who’s ever commented here. Can you believe what an irresponsible child little Miss Christian-DragonTatoo-Whore is?
While I realize you did destroy a marriage, at least you woke up to your true nature. I wonder, what do you think optimal reproductive arrangements are for men and women going forward? Me? I’m not quite sure but it’s also true that my real issue isn’t that my wife stopped wanting to fuck me, it’s that she stole my family and wrecked me emotionally by doing so. I can get over any woman but losing my daughter? Losing the dream of being a father and husband and having my own family? It’s simply not bearable (and we split 21 years ago, fyi). We have to come up with something better.
Been listening/reading about pre-agricultural neo-lithic man. Polygamy of various sorts was common. Of course, these were usually small communities where everyone was known to each other, but still, they seem to have been able to deal with men and women having multiple sexual partners and still have some kind of families. I don’t care if my baby-momma is fucking a new stud, just don’t have my kid start calling him Daddy.
Let’s say for a moment that you did want a family. What would be your optimal arrangement to do that? Would you do an open marriage? If you could just spin it up into existence, what would it look like? Is there any model where you don’t dispose of the father and move a new one in? I ask because you seem to be actually honest about your sexual nature. It would be interesting to hear your take on what might work and keep both men and women happy.
January 23rd, 2015 at 9:44 am
@ jf12
Maybe a 6?
You rate the hula hoop girl’s body a 6? Just a 6!?!
Maybe I need glasses. She looked good to me. I place her body solidly in the “hot” category.
January 23rd, 2015 at 9:47 am
@Zdro1dz – I’m with you, I give the hula girl an 8, no problem. She has a very nice body, cute face and moves well. She’s not quite model quality beautiful but she’s absolutely scrumptious.
January 23rd, 2015 at 9:47 am
^^^^^
Give the hula hoop girl wider hips and to me that’s a 10.
January 23rd, 2015 at 9:49 am
@ Glenn
I’m with you, I give the hula girl an 8, no problem. She has a very nice body, cute face and moves well. She’s not quite model quality beautiful but she’s absolutely scrumptious.
Glad to see I’m not totally alone on this one, hehe. Scrumptious is the exact, right word.
January 23rd, 2015 at 9:49 am
@ Liz – You. Are. A. Fucking. Cunt. Move along now.
January 23rd, 2015 at 9:53 am
@ redlight
here’s a woman under 25, successful, outgoing, popular
You know where crazy 25 year old women come from? They come from crazy 18 year old girls.
January 23rd, 2015 at 9:56 am
re: “what do you think I should understand about men”
Liz may like this comment. Men don’t get jealous like women think. The only thing that arouses jealousy is my woman expressing (any) interest in another man. I’m not the least bit jealous about a guy being interested in my woman. I’m not the least bit jealous about woman who’s not mine expressing interest in another man, although I definitely will think her to be “easier” in general because of that overt interest.
However, and this is a key point in my awakening, I now view a woman expressing TO ME her interest in another man as a form of flirting instead of treating me like a girl. Although it probably depends on context, I’ve realized that maybe women were a *whole* lot more attracted to me over the years than I believed, and I can’t blame anyone but me for that sad belief. It would have been nicer for me if I had known how women do things.
January 23rd, 2015 at 9:56 am
Also, I met my ex when she was 23. Didn’t stop her from going full bore cunt on me.
January 23rd, 2015 at 9:58 am
@zdr01dz, re: “You rate the hula hoop girl’s body a 6?”
No, the total looks package. “Unusually fit” already makes her a 7 just body-wise, and she has long limbs so that adds another point. But 5 face, honestly, or less.
January 23rd, 2015 at 10:01 am
@ Glenn
Also, I met my ex when she was 23. Didn’t stop her from going full bore cunt on me.
Looking back, any early warning signs?
January 23rd, 2015 at 10:14 am
@ jf12
No, the total looks package. “Unusually fit” already makes her a 7 just body-wise, and she has long limbs so that adds another point. But 5 face, honestly, or less.
Wow! Our compasses shoot in totally opposite directions.
Take away the make-up (I hate that stuff) and give her wider, girly hips (I love that stuff) and that chick looks perfect to me. I love the girl next door look. Her $9 Old Navy, green shorts are charming. I want to marry her and have her babies.
Make me 20 years old and her 20 years old and give her wide hips and that girl is target zero for me.
January 23rd, 2015 at 10:24 am
600+ comments and counting…comments have made my day.
It’s always interesting to see women who purport to be RP or embody RP thought, suffice to say that no woman will ever understand the male experience. if anything all they say go ratifies RM and what we have been learning in the manosphere.
January 23rd, 2015 at 10:27 am
“Let’s say for a moment that you did want a family”
hold the fuck up here, I asked her to marry me first
January 23rd, 2015 at 10:33 am
@jf12 – thank you for answering from your point of view.
@Glenn you’re insane… my yoga pants are not skin tight to the point where you can see through them – good grief… and I don’t wear them like a uniform outside the house, usually I wear jeans. I already told you I don’t dress slutty. And your prediction for our marriage is soooo off and just incredibly rude. Sad I really thought you were a kind person, and I believed you hands down on your story. But your take on an open marriage sounds like a recipe for disaster, and the furthest thing from what children would need (a loving stable home) – how do you reconcile that with what you declare is important to society??? You’re as you said, hedonistic – that equates with the worst kind of husband material as you by definition, only think of pleasing yourself alone – you probably never truly loved your wife. And if you’re truly hedonistic, you can’t love anyone – which means you probably don’t even truly love your daughter. Narcissists only love themselves, and blame everyone else for their OWN created problems.
When I said not a typical good Christian girl, I meant what I wrote: “typical” which means the kind that wouldn’t like to understand the realistic things about what their husbands need because they have issues with sex or men or anything.
You’re disgusting in the way you judge me, and don’t worry that judgment will come right back on you at some point. Maybe your divorce and ruined child-relationship is deserved and is karma getting you back for something you yourself did that of course, you would never tell us here. … everyone has sins but you’re over the top.
January 23rd, 2015 at 10:44 am
Give this chick larger breasts and take away her crack pipe and porn career and to me this girl next door is a 10. To me at least, perfection.
January 23rd, 2015 at 10:44 am
nypost article: “In fact, 66 percent would rather read a book, watch a movie or take a nap than sleep with a spouse.”
Folly…
Cue, righteous agents of Karma, half+7, and inexorable influx of awakening beasts into the manosphere.
January 23rd, 2015 at 10:46 am
Also, I’m about your daughter’s age, and I have a wonderful relationship with my dad – I’ve always been close with him…. he’s responsible for creating that. I’m convinced your talked to her horribly or something (like you’ve done here), you did something to ruin that relationship.
And then you see me, my husband, my kids and you project your own sorry life story onto us. Sorry, we’re opposites of the hell that your marriage was… All those benefits I listed were from our marriage. Face it, you’re just very deeply envious of our life & relationship as you’ve said many times that the only thing you cared about was having your wife love you, and getting to keep your life as a father.
Very sad and pathetic.
January 23rd, 2015 at 10:47 am
@Sun Wukong
I think you’ve now hit the actual problem with intellect when it comes to meeting women, pre-disqualifying.
Men with intellect tend to leap many steps ahead of everyone else in a sequence of events or a conversation. This is one of the reasons that small-talk conversations are often intolerable for people with intellect. It is like watching a movie you’ve already seen while socially being expected to be interested. This sort of problem manifests in a number of ways. One easy to spot way is… A person with intellect might try to crack a joke to lighten the conversation in a group after being lost in their own thoughts for just a few seconds, only now they’ve skipped so far ahead of the conversation track that the joke is meaningless. The person who spoke ends up looking like he/she has no sense of humor, but in reality they were simply on a tangent and had left the conversation behind. These sorts of social awkwardness usually manifest in the young, and are well-hidden by the time a person reaches adulthood.
Since men with intellect are at least vaguely aware of these social problems they have (naturally thinking more and faster than those around them), and they’re usually sore from being treated as an outcast by social circles while young…. they religiously pre-disqualify the people around them, even many of the men around them, from being worthwhile to talk to. This is why very intelligent men with years of experience in the field they are in will literally cut off all contact with anyone they deem a “lesser” person w.r.t. the subject they’re talking about. I’ve seen this latter problem happen right in front of me, and watched later when the younger guy completely embarrassed the old expert.
Pre-disqualifying in this manner is pure anti-social behavior. It presupposes the outcome and fails to let the game even happen. Worse, even though the dislike of conversing at a slower pace is a real and understandable feeling, it is actually prejudice against much of humanity. Most people just don’t think that much, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Now, people with intellect, do think A LOT, and IMO there’s no reason their nature should change either…
So again, my solution is to find as many other elements of your interactions to spend your brain cycles on to keep your mind busy but not bored while you’re practicing game. Let yourself linger as long as you can in conversations with an occasional dullard, IF ONLY for the challenge of finding a reason to stay. I started doing this a while ago, and I was very surprised to find that people I had prejudged actually had significantly valuable insight into things (insight that many of them were unaware they even had) I would never have expected. I found that women I might have passed over due to appearance and initial boring conversation actually had fantastically beautiful personalities. Do follow your instincts, do listen to your penis, but never ever disqualify yourself before the game, let women figure out whether they’ll screw you or not, that’s their decision, don’t make it for them.
January 23rd, 2015 at 10:54 am
@ Zdro1dz – Well, I was such a blue piller so in many ways i did everything wrong – that’s a starting point. Thankfully, Sun Wukong helped me see that I was programmed to be this way, and to even ignore and suppress and shame my natural instincts and impulses and that I have to let myself off the hook.
The one thing I should have done is realize how much effect a woman’s mother has on how the daughter sees men. In her case, her Mom was a world class man eating, floozy, drunken, nasty slut who left my ex’s dad because of tingles – 3 kids, aged 10-15, no matter. She was living with us before we were even married cuz she had no place to go after chewing another man to bits and leaving him broke, damaged and essentially a smoking heap of ruin. Funny, as soon as she moved in our sex life changed for the worse.
I used to greet her Mom in the mornings with the want ads, asking her what she was going to do to get a job today. Me? 24 and working my ass off. Her? 47 and drinking every drop of booze in the house every chance she got. I kept up with the hard questions and she fled to her other daughter’s house where the already broken husband in that family would never dare ask her what she was doing to find work. Fyi, she was married at 18 to my ex’s dad – you guys need to get that marrying young women is not the answer either. The world is ruining women for marriage – and if she hasn’t figured it out she’s got the upper hand when she’s 20, she likely will by 30.
I also think that many of you are not digesting what I’m saying about hot women. When you marry a dime, she’s going to turn on you unless you are George Clooney – and even then it may happen. Listen to Kate – it’s the combo of their opportunities AND women’s opportunistic sexuality being unleashed in a relatively consequence free environment socially that is basically insurmountable. That’s why they never seem to really be riven with guilt about their infidelity – it’s just how women are and deep down inside and they feel justified in doing so. Guys will carry the shame of cheating around for years – women? Not so much.
I think it’s crucial to find someone of equal SMV, or a point less if you can handle it. ‘Beautiful women are a curse’ – said so many times I don’t know who originally said it. And remember, I’ve been with numerous 9/10s – this isn’t sour grapes or frustration at not getting laid. I’ve had more high quality women than most guys. I say this because I know beautiful woman, and have cheated with them on their BFs and hubby’s. I remember fucking this lawyer in Chigago once, she brought me back to her room, and I sat there while she “checked in” with her husband before fucking me. Not a bit of shame or regret, just a woman arranging men around her to suit her fancy. Really. And she was a 9. I didn’t work to fuck her at all. We were both at the bar after a day of work and she sidled up to me. The close was, “Let’s go back to your room”, her, “Okay”. No game at all required. She wanted to fuck me and did so. I was in my prime, btw, if a 5’8″ guy could be a 9, I was one. Some women cannot resist a great face, thankfully.
January 23rd, 2015 at 11:07 am
There’s no reason to argue with girlwithadragonflytattoo because her reasons for posting here are obvious.
Now, if I were to post in a female yoga-instructor forum with a handle something like “manwithan80footyachtand5beachfronthomes”, while speaking about all the places I visited and high value people I regularly speak to… the reasons would also be obvious.
January 23rd, 2015 at 11:29 am
@ Glenn
When you marry a dime, she’s going to turn on you unless you are George Clooney – and even then it may happen. Listen to Kate – it’s the combo of their opportunities AND women’s opportunistic sexuality being unleashed in a relatively consequence free environment socially that is basically insurmountable.
I hear you, and it definitely happens but I’m not sure if that’s the norm. Rollo is a brilliant thinker and writer but that’s one area where I don’t necessarily agree.
Monica Lewinksy is an HB3 (being generous) and she managed to bang The President Of The United States Of America.
if an average HB5 is willing to hand out sex for free she can attract the top Alpha males in the USA. No problem. All she has to do is join a dating site and she can start tonight. Supreme AF every night of the week. Some women do that, but not many. So female behavior suggests that unchecked hypergamy is not their driving force. If all women were full on social climbers no marriage would survive.
I was in my prime, btw, if a 5’8″ guy could be a 9, I was one. Some women cannot resist a great face, thankfully.
My face looks like it just went through a screen door. I’m jealous, hehe.
January 23rd, 2015 at 11:30 am
@zdr01dz, re: “Our compasses shoot in totally opposite directions.”
Unlikely, as well as untrue. Almost all men’s relative ranks of images of women are within a point of each other. The disagreement is in the distribution. I’m taking a fat-tailed distribution, much more uniform than Gaussian, with about 50% of women in the 4,5,6,7 categories, about 25% in the 8,9,10 (10 is merely excellent not unattainable), and about 25% 1,2,3. I don’t take my thresholding scheme and think “Every girl below a 3 is a zero and every girl above 7 is a 10.”)
Although I’m gonna skip perusing Ms. LaCroix’s, eh, talents, for several reasons, I agree with you she ranks maybe a couple points higher but she’s hardly a hard 8. Like you said, girl next door.
January 23rd, 2015 at 11:33 am
@zdr01dz
That’s only because former President Bill Clinton is the very definition of a Dog. The man will try anything (especially when it comes to sex), as long as it’s available.
January 23rd, 2015 at 11:41 am
@zdr01dz, re: “Monica Lewinksy is an HB3″
Well, maybe 4. Below average but above threshold, which kind of narrows it down. But I agree with your larger point about her that women’s purely physical attractiveness is not the main driver of who she gets to bang. But then that means that “unchecked hypergamy” is not identical with women handing out sex to top alphas (which may be just the smaller component of it).
January 23rd, 2015 at 11:46 am
@ GWADT – Deeply envious of you? Giggling. I wouldn’t take your husband’s place for a million dollars. You just can’t deal with reality and your own inconsistencies.
As for my daughter, consider that when I was 28, I had a stay at home wife PRETTIER than you by a mile, was just busting through 100k a year in earnings, was being offered a major job in France as an executive, and a daughter who loved me like crazy. You husband would cut his right leg off to have been me back then. And oh yeah, women like you threw their pussies at me regularly – married or not. Christian girls were the worst once you got a glass of wine into them.
Look up a concept called “parental alienation”. This is yet another thing your sisters are doing to fathers and children in divorce these days. I’ll give you a little timeline of my relationship w my daughter so you can get how wrong you are, and what a vicious little shit you are.
Age 15 months – For a short time my ex is waiting tables on the weekends to help out with a little mad money (she felt that not being able to spend 400-500 per month on clothing was a hardship) and I often spent a lot of time on the weekends alone with my daughter. I’m tired one Saturday afternoon after a grueling 70 hour week, with travel, and am trying to lay on the couch and keep an eye on her while the TV is on. She’s annoying me and I catch myself. I realize that this is not the kind of father I want to be. I turn off the TV, get on the floor with her and for the first time, really connect with her as a little person. Don’t get me wrong, I was already close and doting, but this opened up a new level. We played together and hung out and lost track of time for hours. I fell head over heels in love with her that day and never, ever felt it was a burden or pain in the ass to care for her again. And it showed, everyone would comment on how close we were and how great our relationship was. For years. If you met us when she was 10, you would have commented on how great our relationship was too.
Age 7 – We ski our first black diamond ski run together.
Age 9 – Coaching her basketball team
Age 10 – I’m invited to her class to read her favorite childhood book, Oh The Places You Go by Doctor Suess.
Age 11 – We take up rock climbing together.
Age 11 – I take her, two of my sisters and niece for a 10 day, girl’s vacation in Ireland (all paid for by me) including a couple of nights in Ashford Castle (where Pierce Brosnan got married). While I’m close with my family, I want her to have these kind of intense experiences with the well educated and strong women in my family versus the stupid cunt that is her mother.
Age 12 – She and two of her best friends go on vacation with me to the shore. I spend 300 just so they can all get those stupid hair braids and beads. I wait 3 hours on the boardwalk for this to be completed, smiling the whole time and loving it. I spend most of the time just with them, with my GF joining us on the weekend for a couple of days.
Age 13 – Pay 4500 to put a basketball court in her backyard.
Age 14 – Buy her matching 35 mm digital and film SLRs to support her burgeoning interest in photography.
Age 15 – Discipline her harshly for shoplifting and dating the local scumbag and in general for being a rebellious fuckup – at her mother’s request as she had lost any control over our daughter..
Age 17 – Talk to her about her pothead BF from a really dysfunctional family. Help her see how she’s caretaking him and she scrapes him off a few months later. I don’t tell her what to do or shame her, instead I advise her to make the best decision for herself. I also show compassion for the boy as he was good kid, but hopelessly fucked up.
Age 18 – Sing/play a song I wrote for her at her high school graduation party, she cries and hugs and kisses me in front of all her friends while her mom desperately tries to disrupt the attention I’m receiving from all the guests.
Paid 90k towards her college (until I get sick, go broke and 2008 wipes me out financially and screws up my career). I never hit her. I do have a temper which I rarely lost with her, but when I did I always apologized. My total expenses raising her including 220k in direct payments to my ex-wife (child support+) = about 400k. I paid every child support payment and much more, always had health coverage for her. Was there for every visitation and holiday and desperately tried to keep close to her while she pulled away as my ex replaced me with her new man.
Please, do lecture me so more, you ignorant, immature harpy. I had a life 10x better than your shit life and it went to crap. I had a hotter wife, a better job, and had more on the ball than your beta pussy husband ever will have. You are such a child, and an arrogant one at that.
@GWADT’s Hubby – Get a paternity test for your children.
January 23rd, 2015 at 11:50 am
WTF is it with this hula hoop dancing? Reminds me of that commenter Ashley. Is this like talentless attention whores’ favorite pastime now?
Girl is a 7 at best on the very stringent Tomassi scale. She’d get passed up to be a ‘pour girl’ by my promo team.
January 23rd, 2015 at 11:54 am
If hoop girl is Katie Sunshine then I guess I misjudged her facially from the one little video. I got no qualms upgrading her to 7.
January 23rd, 2015 at 11:55 am
@Liz
Yes, your fingers accidentally typed characters in the proper order to form proper words and thoughts, the fell on the Post button serendipitously. Totally believable. Almost as believable as accidentally falling on a cock like so many women claim to do.
@zdr01dz
I’m definitely not spoiled, but I’m gonna have to call her a solid 7. I’d smash it, but I’ve met much hotter and a couple times dated slightly hotter with a better body.
January 23rd, 2015 at 11:58 am
I don’t think I’m stringent, and it’s not like I’m surrounded by babes. Well, not always …
January 23rd, 2015 at 12:02 pm
So, to be clear, an 8 means she has probably turned down 9s.
January 23rd, 2015 at 12:04 pm
In Clinton’s defense, look who he married. I’m not saying Monica was anywhere near an HB, but dirty water in the desert is still water.
January 23rd, 2015 at 12:06 pm
jf, I’m guessing every woman has turned down someone that realistically they should regret turning down at some point in their life. The burden of choice is the burden of assessing a man’s entire life potential in making a decision, an impossible task.
Good luck with your choices ladies, I know my value even if you have no clue.
January 23rd, 2015 at 12:07 pm
Yeah, but Rollo, he selected his wife too, and she’s *never* been a looker.
Mind you, I don’t hate the man, I don’t even think he was a bad president. I just think he was the best example of a “dog” that humanity has yet produced.
January 23rd, 2015 at 12:09 pm
@ Zdro1dz – Of course, Monica Lewinsky disproves nothing I said. And remember, he didn’t even fuck her. He just dropped trou and she sucked. I’ve had exactly the same relationship with a few fatties who weren’t hideous, what exactly does that have to do with the opportunities hot women have? Conversely, do you think Clinton could just drop trou and have a dime start sucking? Nah. And Clinton is a sexual predator with 3 creditable allegations of actual rape against him as well as many sexual assault complaints. I have direct knowledge of his shenanigans due to some connections I have with the secret service. He’s a serial sexual predator. So his behavior is quite aberrant to begin with.
Let me try again – and fyi, JF12, your data doesn’t disprove my point. It’s on IQ, not hotness and at best you are merely showing correlation rather than causation. Such lame “studies” are best left to gender studies warriors to use to prop up their political ideologies.
You seem to think that a 10 doesn’t have more opportunities to fuck guys. You seem to think that if this was true, that it would have no effect. But in fact, the sexual conflict theory you keep citing predicts they would have more sex. It’s just a matter of who gets through her defenses and if she gets 10 times the approaches but only has equal defenses as a 6 who gets far fewer approaches, wouldn’t it stand to reason that more men would get through somehow?
Consider how Kate describes her experience. Even when trying to avoid encounters when she would be tempted, they found her. Do you really think guys are trying as hard to get a 6 in bed as they are a 10? This also means Kate’s defenses would have to be better just because of the higher persistence guys show with higher SMV women.
Let’s go back to Monica. What do you think Bill would have done if Monica didn’t start sucking when he whipped out his discolored, bent cock? He’d leave without a moment’s thought. Do you think he’d do the same with Elizabeth Hurley? Nah, he had her flown in to see him.
I don’t know why you are fighting this and I haven’t seen a shred of data from you or any arguments from anyone here that make me see this differently. Sure, a 6 gets approached, but you are going to really sit there and tell me that she gets approached with the same frequency and intensity as a 10? That’s ridiculous and bears no resemblance to the reality I encounter every day. Also, the gradient and differential matter greatly in terms of how intense the pursuit will be. I’ve had 6s try very hard to fuck me, but a 10? She gives me the high sign and I’m down cuz I know if I make her work she’ll move on. Fyi, this is also why I think looks are so very determinant of this much more than “game” or even alpha traits.
January 23rd, 2015 at 12:17 pm
“In Clinton’s defense, look who he married. I’m not saying Monica was anywhere near an HB, but dirty water in the desert is still water.”
Haha…ain’t that truth!
January 23rd, 2015 at 12:18 pm
Women 8s are not rare at all in my book, and I see 9s every day. 10s of course are mostly away from us mortals but definitely not unicorns.
January 23rd, 2015 at 12:23 pm
re: “Sure, a 6 gets approached, but you are going to really sit there and tell me that she gets approached with the same frequency and intensity as a 10?”
Yes on frequency, no on intensity. The 6 is worth a shot to a lot of the much more numerous average guys, but the 10 will get much stalking.
January 23rd, 2015 at 12:29 pm
@Jeremy
Most annoying part to me is that I don’t disqualify people as a conscious act. I just find myself not interested in them. I’ll think about what you’ve said and see what I can do with it.
@All debating the HB ratings, I think the discrepancies in how dudes rate a chick are colored by what he’s gotten in the past, what he’s been around, and how far up on a pedestal he puts women as a whole.
A good long time friend of mine with a much rougher situation than me has been slowly learning from my discussion of Red Pill concepts with him. This has killed his pedestalization of women to the point that the other day he commented to me: “I have completely lost interest in women now. What I used to rate as a 7 or 8 I now see as a 3 or 4 and disregard. It’s really discouraging.”
His taste in women before was awful. He would put up with the worst shit, including his one LTR that had spent 6 years in prison for manslaughter before meeting him. He had such a low opinion of himself that he put up with all kinds of shit from that “prize” of a woman. Now he’s lost a bunch of weight, is in great shape, and is trying to get a handle on long standing psychological issues at the same age as me. Completely changed his outlook on female attractiveness.
How a dude rates a particular chick says as much about his own standing in the SMV as it does about hers. Maybe more.
January 23rd, 2015 at 12:39 pm
The consequences of an SMV where women self-evaluate way too high.
It’s really telling that services like this exist. Not to mention, it’s really pathetic at a customer base exists.
January 23rd, 2015 at 12:48 pm
I’ve got this weekend’s discussion post on deck, which I’ll post in the next hour, but I want to hit this thread one last time before I publish.
Just a PSA for all female commenters here, RM has always been and always will be an open forum. An open exchange is the only method of truly debating the validity merit of an idea.
RM comment threads will never be an echo chamber. If you want to tell me I’m full of shit, I’m all ears. Sometimes that means I’ve got to approve comments from the likes of Alpha Female, Kate Minter and LivingTree, but I do so with the trust that other readers will call them out as will I.
The only thing I delete is blatant spamming, commercial and trolling.
That said, in an unmoderated forum no punches get pulled. Expect to get as good as you give if that’s where you want to go. RM commentary will always be an unapologetically Male Space. Women are always welcome to add their input, commentary and criticisms, as are Blue Pill men, SJW’s and anyone else. Just be forewarned that your ideas and experience will be subject to the same unmoderated scrutiny.
There wont be any censoring, editing or ‘toning down’ to cater to the sensibilities of anyone – even when that means I vehemently disagree with them. The integrity of this open forum will always mean more to me than blog traffic or comment count.
January 23rd, 2015 at 12:53 pm
@Rollo
Have you ever considered setting up an actual RM forum? The comments sections on WordPress are really painful for bigger discussions, especially on a tablet or phone.
January 23rd, 2015 at 12:55 pm
@Sun Wukong, re: Invisible Lover concept.
It probably works to an extent with women, but Invisible Girlfriend was first, and the Her movie, and the chatline “girlfriends” (which, back when, made a lot of money on just voices) etc all say it works more for men. Women aren’t as thirsty.
From the article “it’s hardly a jump to suggest someone might develop feelings for a “believable” virtual human who caters to her every whim. That’s basically the plot of “Her,” isn’t it?”
How does an Invisible Boyfriend provide enough drama? How can he do things she can complain about? Most important, how does she turn him down?
January 23rd, 2015 at 12:58 pm
@jf12
It seemed to me it’s more about pretending that she found a BB she can actually stand to the people around her. Men are status to a woman. If he’s not giving those things, well she must be talking to him because he does everything else right.
It’s a way to ride the CC while looking “responsible” by appearing to have a really good BB waiting in the wings.
January 23rd, 2015 at 1:06 pm
@ JF12 – Based on what? Do you have any data on SMV and frequency of approaches?
January 23rd, 2015 at 1:08 pm
@Sun, I don’t really have the time to launch a forum. I still lurk (and mod) on SoSuave.net, but I moved to doing a blog so I could explore ideas in more depth than forum posts.
Between writing and producing a new book, keeping the blog strong and still working full time with my liquor and gaming brands, an RM forum isn’t in the cards anytime soon.
I generally drop a TRP reddit thread for every new post. I may start doing the same on SoSuave for the greater good, but I’m just one Man.
January 23rd, 2015 at 1:12 pm
@Glenn, re: “Do you have any data on SMV and frequency of approaches?”
Does anyone? Well, there’s stuff like Tinder, okcupid, etc. Men’s basic frequency strategy: right swipe, right swipe, right swipe, right swipe, right swipe, right swipe,right swipe, right swipe, right swipe. Note: different fro intensity strategy.
January 23rd, 2015 at 1:12 pm
@Rollo
Ah yeah, fair enough. It definitely would eat more time from your schedule and go against your intentions.
January 23rd, 2015 at 1:13 pm
@ Sun:
RE: Invisible Lover….
Holy fucking shit!!!!
Customer base will probably be on the rise as the FI continues to make more laws to make us comply!
No fucks shall continue to be given
January 23rd, 2015 at 1:17 pm
@Sun Wukong
Neither do I, it was a learned defense mechanism. It needs to be unlearned. In an ideal world, your parents should have recognized the trouble you were having and attempted to understand and help you. Since we’re having this conversation, I’m guessing your parents were (much as mine were) simply flabbergasted they had such an intelligent child, and assumed you would figure things out on your own.
Parents can overestimate their ability to parent just as easily as they can underestimate it.
January 23rd, 2015 at 1:20 pm
Let us recall how Tinder suckered women in and how women fell for it: women’s choices of potential matches are heavily skewed to the most popular guys. So even though it was, like everything, originally a sausage fest, women’s apex fallacies were satisfied. This makes it less likely to make a real match, but it makes women feel much better about making any matches at all, and so the churning activity increases.
January 23rd, 2015 at 1:22 pm
Tell me again exactly how many women are willing to pony up for their own beta orbiter and/or white knight?
January 23rd, 2015 at 1:22 pm
@Jeremy
My parents were too busy trying to get compliant behavior out of me through physical and psychological abuse to care about it. Also, the attitude amongst my household was one of expecting high intelligence as a part of life. There was an assumption we’d be smart and reflect it.
My father was in the 120-ish range and a doctor. My mother tested at 160 and was initially a stay at home mom then later an extremely good accountant. When dad started the beatings, mom (I feel reasonably) divorced him, but then started to beat me as I looked more and more like the man that beat her.
There was very little focus in either case on my psychological development as an adult. Both parents were too busy using me as a tool to attack the other or trying to make sure I was under control and not making their lives hard.
January 23rd, 2015 at 1:23 pm
RP Reddit banned me too, just like Elam. Fuckers.
January 23rd, 2015 at 1:26 pm
@Sun
*feels like someone just gave him a can of nuts, opened it, and watched springed snakes shoot into his face*
January 23rd, 2015 at 1:29 pm
Reading women’s comments here only makes me think one thing:
One of our first and most major mistakes was giving women the right to vote.
It doesn’t get any more Beta than that. Women should not have the right to vote. Immeasurable problems have ensued since then, similar to any guy completely giving up his frame in any relationship.
January 23rd, 2015 at 1:34 pm
@Softek
In defense of women voting, most of the men I’ve talked to shouldn’t vote either. Who do you think voted to allow the women to vote to begin with?
January 23rd, 2015 at 1:34 pm
Which “pony up” reminds me. Along with Glenn’s “cut off his right leg” (btw lighten up, dude!). Women’s SMV, as I’ve argued, is not strictly how hot the guys are that she could sleep with, but basically how hot the guys are that she turns down or otherwise makes herself difficult for.
Now, men’s SMV basically is how little beta bux they have to pony up. Right? If a guy can pull a hot girl but only after he shows her his mansion, she probably has visions of bux dancing in her head. If he has to give her stuff, give up stuff, sacrifice stuff, cut off stuff (the expression “I’d cut off my left ___” is not rare) to sleep with her, then his SMV is not as high as if he doesn’t have to give stuff.
And so now we have the definition, the precise operational universal definition of SMV: a woman’s SMV is the hottest guy she still makes give her stuff besides Skittles. A man’s SMV is the hottest girl he doesn’t have to give her anything beyond Skittles.
January 23rd, 2015 at 1:44 pm
Hmm. If a guy is in the 80% of unfortunates physically, and 80% of us are, then maybe we *would* fare better with women when invisible but communicative. Maybe women would pony up just to make us invisible.
Yes, I know what you want to type. Go on. “I would pony up just to make you shut up!”
January 23rd, 2015 at 1:46 pm
@ jf12 – Making general statements about Tinder is data? Please, in other words you are just positing your own suppositions. Great, me too.
January 23rd, 2015 at 1:47 pm
@Softek
I don’t mind allowing women to vote. However, your influence over civilization’s direction should come in direct proportion to your net investment into it. This means to me that unless you’re willing to be drafted and sacrifice your life for society, you have no say, no voice in how those lives are used.
The current situation is actually fundamentally evil. A current majority of voters in the U.S. are in fact women. These are people who cannot be drafted, they cannot be forced to serve and die for the country, yet they have power to (effectively) send men to die. They have the power to vote in all manner of financial taxes on male productivity and redistribution of wealth without compensation to the producers. That’s evil.
Responsibility must be attached to power, there is no other way.
January 23rd, 2015 at 1:57 pm
@ jf12 – “lighten up dude” – White Knight much? Did you read what that silly little dragon-whore wrote? I tried to deal with her like a sentient human being but she can’t process reason and answer simple questions, or more accurately, doesn’t believe she has to when dealing with me. When I press and point out her inconsistencies and hypocrisy she begins attacking me, so I went nuclear on her, after going to great pains to be polite and considerate to her. This is perhaps the only place in the world I don’t have to take a shred of shit from some female child who deigns to sort me out. Fuck her. And if you don’t get that, check yourself, not me.
January 23rd, 2015 at 1:57 pm
@jf12
You’re now speculating about what Patrice O’Neal referred to as a Time Ho, except being paid for it.
January 23rd, 2015 at 1:57 pm
@ Sun
Heh. Reminds me of another Taoist story:
———————————
One day Effort said to Destiny, “My achievements are greater than yours.”
Destiny did not agree. He challenged Effort immediately: “What have you done to make your achievements surpass mine?”
Effort said, “Whether someone lives long or dies young, is rich or poor, will succeed or fail depends on me.”
Destiny said at once, “Old P’eng’s intelligence did not match that of the emperors Yao and Shun, but he lived a long and healthy life. On the other hand, Yen-hui, Confucius’s best student, died when he was eighteen. Confucius’s virtue far surpassed that of the feudal lords, but compared with them he was destitute. The emperor Shang-t’sou was cruel and immoral but lived a prosperous and long life. On the other hand, his ministers who were virtuous met with violent deaths.
There was a man who sacrificed his own fortune to allow his brother a chance to be employed by the lord of Cheng. He remained poor and unknown for the rest of his life. Then there was another man who had neither virtue nor ability who became the lord of Ch’i. How about Po-Yi and Shu-ch’i who starved to death in the mountains because they would not compromise their integrity and honor to serve an enemy lord? What can you say about corrupt officials who are rich, or honest, hard-working people who are poor?”
Effort had not expected this barrage of evidence against his assertion. He frowned, but Destiny continued, “If you are as effective as you say, then why don’t you make the hard-working people rich? Why don’t you give virtuous people a long and prosperous life? Why are the intelligent and able people not employed, and why do stupid people occupy important places in government?”
Effort had no more to say in the face of these challenges, so sheepishly he said to Destiny, “You are right. I do not have much effect after all. But I daresay a lot of things happen in the way they do because you’ve been up to mischief, twisting people’s destiny around and enjoying it!”
Destiny then said, “I cannot force the directions of things. I merely open doors for them to go through. If something is going straight, I let it follow the straight path; if something takes a turn, I do not hinder it. No one, not you or I, can direct the path of things. Long life or short, rich or poor, success or failure, fortune or misfortune, all come about by themselves. How can I direct events or even know where things will end up?”
———————————
IOW, I just felt like poking the hamster with a stick. I’m kinda bored today. Even though I still think that was a major error, it’s hard to say what would’ve truly been different if it never happened.
In all seriousness, that’s why I take things on a case-by-case basis. I’m not going to figure the world’s problems out, but applying RP to my own life….well, I’ll summarize it with another koan:
————————————-
One day a fifty-year-old student of enlightenment said to Shinkan: “I have studied the Tendai school of thought since I was a little boy, but one thing in it I cannot understand. Tendai claims that even the grass and trees will become enlightened. To me this seems very strange.”
“Of what use is it to discuss how grass and trees become enlightened?” asked Shinkan. “The question is how you yourself can become so. Did you ever consider that?”
“I never thought of it in that way,” marveled the old man.
“Then go home and think it over,” finished Shinkan.
————————————-
I’m still trying to figure out what direction I want my life to go in as far as relating to women goes.
But can you blame me for wanting to poke the hamster? You have to admit it’s fun to see how fast that thing can go. I’m waiting for the day some girl actually spontaneously combusts from being verbally provoked to the point where her head blows up, and a little metal wheel falls out with something that looks like a black roasted chicken nugget smoldering inside of it.
The evidence will be hidden, of course. If those pictures got out to the public, Jezebel would lose all its followers — either that or they would suffer a similar fate just from seeing the pictures online.
January 23rd, 2015 at 2:08 pm
@Glenn
What I honestly don’t get is why bother to go back and forth so much with these chicks? Within a couple female posts I can usually tell we’re in for the usual AWALT material, so I pretty much skip over their posts after that.
Not white knighting here, as all your points seem valid. I’m just wondering why you waste your time on them. I know you can perceive just as well as I can what you’re in for.
January 23rd, 2015 at 2:18 pm
@ Glenn
She was a rude cunt to you. To say the least. I myself couldn’t even believe she had the nerve to write what she did when I read over it.
I’m actually surprised you didn’t go anywhere near as nuclear as I thought you would. I thought it was just because you figured the expenditure of energy wasn’t worth it, even though she’d fully deserve it, and then some.
Since she’s so happy with her husband and has to prove that to all of us, must’ve been the Carnation Instant Bitch she had for breakfast. Ever see the ingredient list on that stuff? That’ll make anybody crazy. Almost as bad as the Honey Nut Hamster-O’s.
January 23rd, 2015 at 2:21 pm
I for one can not wait for the new posting. Please Rollo.
January 23rd, 2015 at 2:22 pm
And to make my own day, I’ve finally found the perfect time to share this clip here.
January 23rd, 2015 at 2:40 pm
General online dating question to both guys and gals: Which would you prefer?
1) Someone saw your picture and thought you were hot enough to communicate with, then liked your communication enough to agree to meet you.
2) Someone saw your communication and thought you were hot enough to exchange pictures, then liked your images enough to agree to meet you.
I really, really dislike #1 for myself. #2 seems more likely to work as well as maybe more old-fashioned.
January 23rd, 2015 at 2:56 pm
@Softek
Actually lol’d at that one.
January 23rd, 2015 at 3:39 pm
@ Kate
Women don’t need foreplay and they certainly don’t need lube in the beginning.
What is “foreplay” and what is “lube”? After 30-odd years of marriage, Mrs. Gamer doesn’t typically need these things. And she wants an open
marriage, saying that she can go without sex. Go figure.
Maybe it’s because I don’t put up with her 5h1t and give her verbal shivs a lot that she’s hot for me. She doesn’t want a divorce. And she pretends that she doesn’t want sex.
January 23rd, 2015 at 4:27 pm
Look Glenn, you sound like you really loved your daughter… I’m sorry I assumed you didn’t, you sound like an asshole here, but maybe its just all the pain and hurt you’ve internalized. I hope you find healing, and truly do hope your daughter relationship is repaired at some point.
Healing won’t come from arguing with me back and forth me. We should just leave it & let it go. I wish the best for you.
January 25th, 2015 at 3:42 pm
You’re insight into the situation is spot on, Rollo. Two things:
There is a slow decline to a breaking point in the BP sexual relationship. She pulls back a little, he tries to negotiate her desire, she pulls back more, he turns to porn and masterbation, she becomes more disgusted and repulsed. Maybe he turns to prostitutes, looking for women who are willing to have sex with him, rather than forcing the one woman who promised to have sex with him until death. Now she has her social victim proof, and divorce court proof she needs to turn everyone against him. All because society has removed the duty of a wife to sexually gratify her husband, and ignores that a man requires sexual gratification. If his wife wants him to be celebrate, it is his responsibility to remain celibate, no asking, forcing, whining, masterbating, porn, cheating, or prostitution is acceptable, and all will be shamed. The husband must give her his cock, but she’s not required to do anything with it. If she’s not required to do anything with it, why does marriage require fidelity? Why isn’t it strictly a financial deal, where she takes care of my children and my house in exchange for room and board, until such time as she quits or is fired? I take a tax break for keeping an unemployed woman off the street and off welfare, and sex if things are going well.
Second, I think the young children frivorce is too common to be coincidence. There could be a causal mechanism in there somewhere. We are seeing too much awareness of wives becoming jealous, and envious, and frustrated at how good of father their bad husband is. There is a disconnect, that can only be removed by divorcing the father and removing his kids. She sees him as dominant when he disciplines his kids, and is jealous of how they love him back more as he sets their boundaries, even when she lets them do whatever she wants. She longs for his alpha side with the children, but only gets his beta husband side. How can the children love him when she doesn’t? She questions the morality of her arousal based love. What if the kids love him more than they love her? What if they’re right and she’s wrong, that there is a lot to love about her husband? I think there is a psychology ( an emotional, not rational level ) at play which encourages her to try and control their love and bring the kids to her side, where she is the best and everyone agrees that nobody loves daddy.
January 25th, 2015 at 4:18 pm
I’m way late to this discussion, but wanted to comment on the notion that ‘all people will cheat eventually if they have abundant opportunities to cheat and likely not get found out etc etc…’ –
I’m in my 30s, don’t believe in marriage, but have had a gf over 2 years who’s 10 years younger and the hottest chick i’ve been with. however, as she has gotten 2 years older, i’ve gotten interest from even younger chicks who are at least as physically hot. one such instance came last week, from a little 18 y/o blonde, in another country, in a situation where the location was almost off-the-grid remote. She was drunk, ostensibly DTF, she hit on me, I was very flattered. She was with another girl about her age. I had a drink with them, chatted with them a bit, and enjoyed that. Felt a strong bit of temptation. I know what to do in these situations if I intended to fuck her: “Well, I’m gonna go back to my condo and have a nightcap/watch a movie/yadda yadda (*pause*)…”. Instead, I encouraged them to go talk to 2 guys who were closer to their age and rather handsome. Then I bailed from that location, went back to my condo, and ‘decompressed’ to put it politely.
That’s just one example from last week.
It’s called: I have never cheated, will never cheat, no matter what. It’s just a fuckin’ decision to keep my integrity. It’s not that difficult. If it was that important for me to fuck other chicks, I’d break up with my gf (who is about as good as they come). But I have no interest in abandoning her at this time, and thus I live accordingly. Period
January 27th, 2015 at 3:27 pm
I think the key here is establishing a dominant frame early on. In order to build that rock solid core we have to build something – anything. A brand, a product. Become a producer instead of a consumer where people naturally gravitate towards you and your product or mission. Then, the script has been flipped and women are vying for you, not the other way around. That is often a difficult thing to do because we’re required to unplug, and I know personally that has meant many nights alone during my 20’s. That’s just too much for most people, but we all start out as beta’s with a B.S. corporate job and an average body. Wanting to be “alpha” with women at this stage is like putting the cart before the horse. We have to put in the work first and transcend life itself. Dan Bilzarian and Joe Rogen don’t have to establish “frame”
I talk more about this on my blog at http://www.newdarktriad.com. Check out the article “Fear.”
February 2nd, 2015 at 10:18 pm
This should be required reading for every male. Right on point. Sure there are some male commenters who have truly found “the one” but in today’s society that’s really an anomaly, unfortunately. One thing I would add though is that the characteristics of the female who turns scream Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). They are that much worse. Guys if you see a woman like this run, don’t walk, run. It’s not worth the grief. Go out, have fun try to meet new girls, there are many out there and you’ll be surprised how fun and rewarding it is to strike up conversations with random women.
February 4th, 2015 at 12:11 am
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