“I’m not saying that self-control is unimportant. It’s just irrelevant to dominance. And your comment about domineering is also irrelevant. There are plenty of self-controlled subservient betas out there.”

If you do not agree with my reply (above) to Ton, perhaps we are taking about different things.

What do you mean by “dominance” and “self-control”, and how would you establish dominance in a relationship?

Then, how would a lack of self-control enhance, or at least be neutral, with respect to dominance and leadership, in a relationship?

(New Yorker has already provided an excellent answer to the second part.)

“what does self control have to do with pulling ass?”

Not much, and it can easily be counterproductive, since women are drawn to the opposite side of that spectrum, in that phase.

However, if it turns out to be more than a pump and dump, the dominance and leadership necessary for a stable long-term relationship also requires self-control, because a woman needs to follow a man who is above her.

A lack of self-control would bring him down to her level and induce a different response, just as a child will respond differently to a benevolent and calm, but firm, father, than to a self-absorbed, hysterical and inconsistent mother.

And the way that you have described managing your household is pretty much the opposite of throwing a hissy fit.

As far as a lack of self-control when it comes to violence, people like you do not need advice or guidance in this area, especially since you understand the difference between calculated rage, and actual rage that blinds you and makes you weaker or prone to impulsive acts against your best interests.

However, others who come here for advice would do well to avoid actually giving in to their emotions, because it can get out of hand with those who are weaker, and opponents love dealing with those who display, and then repeat, their weaknesses, almost on command.

My new ceramic pocket knife, best in the business for properly cleaving silica capillaries and optical fibers, unfortunately shows up in metal detectors so I can’t carry through like the older ones.

I was beta last night. During the dance lesson while the instructor was talking and we weren’t dancing, I pulled out my Speiderco Delica folding knife to open a pack of gum and I gave a piece to my dance partner.

But I think it’s best to pretend to lack some self-control, to keep it to the minimal effective level.

I flayed that gum package, lol. Panties were dropping all over the dance floor.

(Stupid Wrigleys wraps their pack so tight with plastic that you can’t get a grip with your nails.)

As you and I have agreed before, exhibiting irrational violence is a great tactic for scoring chicks. Women are specifically aroused by a man’s (apparent) lack of self-control when it comes to violence.

But I think it’s best to pretend to lack some self-control, to keep it to the minimal effective level.