Towards the end of The Bitter Taste of the Red Pill I wrote this:
The truth will set you free, but it doesn’t make truth hurt any less, nor does it make truth any prettier, and it certainly doesn’t absolve you of the responsibilities that truth requires. One of the biggest obstacles guys face in unplugging is accepting the hard truths that Game forces upon them. Among these is bearing the burden of realizing what you’ve been conditioned to believe for so long were comfortable ideals and loving expectations are really liabilities. Call them lies if you want, but there’s a certain hopeless nihilism that accompanies categorizing what really amounts to a system that you are now cut away from. It is not that you’re hopeless, it’s that you lack the insight at this point to see that you can create hope in a new system – one in which you have more direct control over.
One of the hardest lessons I had to learn when I unplugged (such as it was) was throwing away ‘hope’.
Not real, internal, personal hope, but rather the ‘hope’ I had been led to believe was a realizable state – if circumstances, if personalities, if fate or some other condition defined by the feminine imperative would just align in such a way that I’d been conditioned to believe it could, then that feminine defined contentment could be actualized.
I wanted very much to realize that idealized state by defining hope (or having it defined for me) in a context that was never of my own real choosing. I got just as depressed as anyone else when I unplugged. I got angry. I didn’t want to think that I’d invested so much of myself in something that was fundamentally unattainable because the my understanding of it had been incorrect, either deliberately or by my own hopeful interpretations of it.
My own ‘unplugging’ was a gradual affair and came after a lot of drawn out trauma. And yes, to realize that all of that trauma amounted to nothing after hoping and struggling to mold myself into something that I was led to believe was achievable it was even more depressing.
It wasn’t until I realized that the hope I was sold came from the same social paradigm that never held my best interests as a priority that I threw it away. That was a tough day because I realized in doing so I would have to find a new sense of hope for myself. It seemed very nihilistic at the time, and I had to really make an effort not to make that choice from a sense of self-pity.
One particularly hard revelation I had to disabuse myself of was understanding that women love differently than men. That was tough to embrace because the old hope I was struggling to realize was based on the primary tenet of blue pill thinking; the equalist notion that men and women share a mutually recognized, mutually accepted concept of love.
Once I understood this was an idealization rather than a reality, and that women can and do love men deeply, but in an entirely different feminine-specific concept of love, I discovered that I no longer ‘hoped’ for that mutuality and embraced the hope that men and women could still genuinely love each other from their own perspectives of love without a mutual consensus.
I remembered then an older man I had done some peer counseling with while in college and how this man had essentially striven his entire life to please and content his ex-wife and his now second wife of more than 30 years. From his early 20s he’d spent his personal life in a hopeful attempt at contenting, appeasing and qualifying for a mutually shared state of love he believed these women (the only 2 he’d ever had sex with) had a real capacity for.
At 73 (now) he’s spent his life invested in a hope that simply doesn’t exist – that he can be loved as a man ideally believes a woman ought to be able to love him – just as all the romantic, feminine-defined ideals of love he’d learned from a feminine-centric social order had convinced him of for so long.
This is why I say men are the True Romantics, because the overwhelming majority will devote a lifetime to the effort of actualizing a belief in a male-idealized love to find fulfillment in a woman and for that woman.
Old Hope for New Hope
I hope that doesn’t sound too fortune cookie, but it’s a prime example of redefining hope in a new red pill-aware paradigm. You can hope and thrive in a new red pill context – I know I do – but it’s much easier when you internalize red pill truths and live with them in a red pill context instead of force-fitting them into your old, feminine-defined, blue pill context. I can imagine what my marriage would look like if I hadn’t made the red pill transition and learned to use that awareness in it. There are a lot of guys paying ‘marriage coaches’ $149 an hour because they never did.
There was a comment buried in last week’s comment thread from Hobbes that was too good not to include in its entirety here:
I think I get it!
For years I have been bitter about this need to “perform” about how this shows that women do not love us as we love etc.. And just now I was reviewing my old relationships and I recalled something.
In each of my relationships, prior to meeting the women I eventually fell in love with, I was constantly working on myself, I would get in shape, hang out with friends, explore my environment and work on myself and my music etc. As soon as I would “fall in love” I would slowly drop those activities, I’d focus on being a good bf, I would focus on providing and “being what she wanted” what I thought she wanted, better said.
But here is my Eureka moment, what I recalled each time was being unhappy, what I recall each time was feeling boxed in and kind of dull.. of feeling trapped.
Is this what Rollo means when he says our response to women is a conditioning, and that the sadness we get from Red Pill truth is the result of behaving and believing something that is not really our nature, but the result of having someone else’s behaviors and beliefs installed into us?
So I think I finally understand it for myself… the talk of putting yourself first, of “performing” etc is really just a way of saying “you don’t have to do what people say you’re supposed to do in a relationship – you don’t have to drop everything for her, you don’t have to stop doing what you like and love and you don’t have to kiss her ass”
In my case I dropped everything for two reasons. One was to do what I thought I was supposed to do.. what I heard women say they wanted from a man, what my mother said a man should be etc.. and the second reason was insecurity. I wanted her to love me, I didn’t want to rock the boat, I was scared of losing her.. so eventually I did. I believed that in order for me to be worthy of her, of her love, I had to go along and give her what she said she wanted, what I was taught she wanted.
Is this what Rollo and everyone else is talking about? Because I think I finally get it. Up to now I have faked my Game, to some extent. I just knew better than to do certain things or did things I knew would make me attractive, etc. to women. But seeing this now, not only am I realizing there is nothing to be bitter about – I was always happier working on myself and my interests and actually resentful of having to stop them – but that I am actually happier doing this thing women want of us we call “performing”.
In a way, you are performing, as Rollo says, either way. If you stop and think you can rest, in many ways you are doing so because you have been conditioned to believe, as I was, that you should. That real love meant you could and should.
Anyway, maybe this is simply me and my personal experience of it, but it makes sense to me.. and I think this has revealed to me something monumental, personally. Maybe other guys have a different experience of it, but this is how I have seen it played out in my life.I feel better.
The key to living in a red pill context is to unlearn your blue pill expectations and dreams of finding contentment in them, and replace them with expectations and aspirations based on realistic understandings of red pill truths.
Learn this now, you will never achieve contentment or emotional fulfillment in a blue pill context with red pill awareness.
Killing your inner Beta is a difficult task and part of that is discarding an old, comfortable, blue pill paradigm. For many newly unplugged, red pill aware, men the temptation is to think they can use this new understanding to achieve the goal-states of their preconditioned blue pill ideals. What they don’t understand is that, not only are these blue pill goal-states flawed, but they are also based on a flawed understanding of how to attain them.
Red pill awareness demands a red pill context for fulfillment. Oracle Z wrote a fantastic article on Return of Kings this week called Why you shouldn’t seek emotional fulfillment through women. It’s well worth the read, but what Oracle Z outlines here is a fulfillment based on feminine-primary, blue pill conditions for that contentment. Even when men achieve these blue pill goal-states, the ones they’re conditioned to believe they should want for themselves, they find themselves discontent with those states and trapped by the liabilities of them.
Just as Hobbes illustrated, the periods when he was not striving to achieve or maintain those blue pill goal-states were the times he was most fulfilled with his life, talents and ambitions.
As if this weren’t enough to convince a man he needs to re-imagine himself in a red pill-primary context, when women are presented with ‘the perfect guy‘ in a blue pill context they gradually (sometimes immediately) come to despise him. As proven by their actions, even women don’t want that blue pill perfected goal-state because it stagnates the otherwise exciting, self-important men they are aroused by, and attracted to in a red pill context.
I’ve stated this in prior posts, but it bears repeating,
“Women should only ever be a complement to a man’s life, never the focus of it.”
Living in a blue pill context, and hoping you can achieve fulfillment in its fundamentally flawed goal-states, conditions men to make women the focus of their lives. Throw that hope away and understand that you can create hope in a new system – one in which you have more direct control over.
September 30th, 2014 at 9:55 am
@Tam, it’s so whilst she’s being runned over (thus finally desecrating the grave of the Kinge’s Englishe) she can gaze up accusingly at yer face “I was coming straight at you; you could’ve dashed out and been me hero.”
September 30th, 2014 at 11:50 am
This article is exactly what I was looking for. I´ve been reading the comments, and about the “looks” and stuff, I have some real experience on how things work:
I am kind of a good looking dude, I kinda look like James Franco. Anyway, I entered a private highschool with a friend of mine who is also good looking, right? The very first day, we were minding our own business and practically all the girls found a way to introduce themselves to us. The other guys at the school labeled us as a threat immediately, of course. We were getting all the attention, the flirty smiles, bla bla bla. And that was the first day. We literally didnt have to move a finger to bang every girl in that place.
But back in those days, my friend and I loved videogames, loved smoking pot, and in general we were blue pill inexperienced dudes who were high all the time. So, of course we ended girlfriend-ing two hot chiks, and the other more experienced guys devising their plans against us in the background waiting for their time to strike.
Eventually, we obviously fu**ed up, and the hidden schemers, good looking or not, got some piece of ass.
Anyway, my thoughts about this is that in my experience, hypergamy is completely real, lets say that back then my friend and me knew how things work. We wouldve established our private prostitution ring, keeping the other guys at bay, which is exactly what they feared when they met us. Also, the guys who were just too low on the food chain were friendzoned immediately (even by the ugly girls). My friend lived exactly in front of the school and we literally sometimes woke up one day because some girls were knocking at the door to bang us. We literally didnt have to move a finger and there were always girls from everywhere waiting in line to be banged. 15 year olds, 16 year olds, 18, 21.
Now, whenever we introduced chiks to better looking friends than us, or guys that were good looking + they had money, they would go for their dicks faster than you can say “cock carrousel”.
When they hit the wall, which in my experience is before 30, priorities change, but not the hunger for good looking sausage. You can be a total dickhead, bad-mooded, talk to no one, bad attitude or whatever you want, but when girls find you attractive and you are in a place with no real competition against you (be it at work or school etc…) the ass will keep coming.
The main difference I think, is that older girls will generally try to bang you to try to snacht a husband, unless theyre in a LTR or married.
I have noticed something though. When women detect the slightest hint that you have swallowed the red pill, they flee it like the plague. Contrary to what some say, intellectual superiority display is an immediate turn off for women, in my experience. I get no ass these days because I refuse to dance, engage in stupid conversations, invest my money or “game”. And you know what? Thats fine with me.
September 30th, 2014 at 11:56 am
I wouldn’t really pay much attention to roosh. He very rarely gets Laid and needs to visit the poorest regions of europe to get Laid. He’s at least coming out with the truth, tho. Looks is What makes a man, a man, to women. That dutch guy roosh went out with? I have a younger version in my class. Dude banged 10 hot girls in the space of a week and he didn’t bang more because he got tired. Lete see his level of game. “Hey slut wanna bang?” Can average men learn this level of game? Lol
September 30th, 2014 at 12:12 pm
Wait, what? I’m a troll now? Why? I dealt with a lot of people who had ages comprehended between 18 and late 20s. I’ve observed more gamers than I can count, I watched guys with more looks/muscular build/height/perfect teeth/whatever try to game women who weren’t even all that special and all of them failed.
On the other hands I met many a retard who barely completed their GED and they had women throwing themselves at them, high-quality women, not just physically attractive women. intelligent women, women with potential. It doesn’t make sense for a guy to attempt something that not only has been in the mainstream(game) for a decade or more by now and that every woman is familiar with, and charm and charisma, yeah, sure, I used to be all that, guys respected me and they wanted my company as did women, but they were banging the hot Neanderthals.
Women are as sexually aroused by how a man looks, like a man is when he sees a blonde woman with blue eyes and a great pair of boobs.
Its even impossible to discern which women is attracted to you and if its true because the vast MAJORITY of women fish for male attention by pretending to be interested in them.
Example, attractive 20 year old girl in the subway kept staring at me. I would stare at her and not move my eyes away from her. She’d do the same and the cycle would repeat. Was she attracted.to me? No. Many women who range from average to good-looking do this to me, everyday.
I’m attractive? Nope. I look much younger when I shave, I guess, but i am skinny, short, have dark hair and look accordingly to my racial background: spanish.
The women are tall, blonde(sometimes dark haired, foreigners) and perfect-looking. Do I look like I’m rich? Nope.
Therefore the women who display interest in me are doing it because they want me to approach them, to feed their ego. I don’t do that. When a woman is attracted to a man she approaches him.
September 30th, 2014 at 12:15 pm
As for women moving along their pathway without giving away any space.. its hilarious. Don’t move. Let them hit the floor. I concur with the poster who does this, he doesn’t give them margin to maneuver because they hog all of the space. I remember coming out of class one time and this chick comes at me, wanting to go to someplace but invading my personal space, so I bumped hard against her on purpose and told her to stop with the weed-smoking. Priceless look on that Alpha-cock carousel rider.
I am not usually aggressive like this but I was having a toothache and this behavior pisses me off.
September 30th, 2014 at 12:42 pm
The fishing for attention thing is very true. Taken a certain way, I suppose it could be insulting… but usually it’s just amusing. So little self-awareness and control, so many tells. They can’t help themselves… and they won’t, because they don’t have to… until it’s too late.
In more charitable, reflective moments, it’s sad. A beautiful woman dies two deaths.
The refusing to move on the sidewalk thing is maddening, though. Really starting to notice it spike in the last few years. We’ve created some monsters. It’s a long way to fall, honey.
I predict an epidemic of mental health issues. Protect yourselves accordingly, they will offload their crazy in your lap if you let them, just to maintain their delusions a little while longer…
September 30th, 2014 at 12:43 pm
Has anyone here suffer through the movie Silverlining’s playbook? With hunger games girl and Bradley Cooper?
Just watch it last night, and after studying your blog I noticed a lot of things. Basically it’s about a natural Alpha raised with a blue-pill conditioning that he carries with him throughout the whole movie, causing mental problems and a serious case of Oneitis. The whole movie was good though because he unconsciously, being naturally Alpha, structured a way for his neighbor girl to chase him.
Looking for social cues, what the girl is thinking in the moment.
And is the most Alpha scenes in the movie is Christmas Eve. Infatuated girl can’t decide on a tie for her alpha, alpha drops bomb that he’s still trying to pursue ex( Oneitis).
Says don’t screw up this dance competition, the look in her eye at that moment seals the deal for Hunger games girl. She wants the D, badly.
His body language, tonality, conversational skills are good, but his mindset is predominately blue pill fem centric conditioning. Which of course carries over to the shitty end we all knew was comming, he runs after her and tells her he loves her. Like yeah I love you I’ll settle for you. Also you can see the little bits and pieces that the fem conditioning seeps into our minds.
The fact that hunger games girls character slept with everybody in the office after her husband died. We’re supposed to just accept that part of her and she’s not damaged goods?
It also shows one of his friends who is a complete blue pill loser who makes money through real estate just a prop up his marriage.
September 30th, 2014 at 1:00 pm
”The fishing for attention thing is very true. Taken a certain way, I suppose it could be insulting… but usually it’s just amusing. So little self-awareness and control, so many tells. They can’t help themselves… and they won’t, because they don’t have to… until it’s too late.”
Amusing to a certain point. If it happens occasionally it can be entertaining but when it happens every single day without failing and its done to the guy several times a day, it kinda makes me feel like people are retarded. I get it, people like attention. But too much attention-whoring is annoying as hell. I prefer the company of men for this reason but honestly, men nowadays are as addicted to attention as women are. Its like talking to a chick with facial hair.
Women aren’t aware of their attention-seeking behaviors, I’ve long believed in that myself. I reckon they get approached by men they aren’t attracted to because they don’t have a in-built mechanism to signal only the men they want. They’re wired by evolution to signal to as many men as possible their ”interest” in order to maximize their survival potential. Men invest money in women and protect them if they think the woman is attracted to them, and then they throw tantrums when the men who’ve been for the past hour been rubbed on by women tries to make a move, lol.
”I was just being friendly”
ahah and many use the excuse of having a boyfriend to drag men into paying them attention.
”well, I’m flirting like mad with this guy but that ain’t no problem because i Have a boyfriend.”
Women are children. Remove their right to vote.
September 30th, 2014 at 1:15 pm
David, it also shows that tall, very handsome Bradley cooper has to settle with a – admittedly very hot – slut, lol. Can’t see average men get much luckier than that, even Robert Pattison(Twilight) developed oneitis for his very average-looking girlfriend. Seen much better-looking women everyday.
Have you read the book the movie was based on? The guy spends half the book talking about nikki, the ex-wife he put on the pedestal and then he spends the rest of the book male hamstering why he wants the slut he ends up with, lol.
September 30th, 2014 at 1:40 pm
@David, funny, I just watched that movie over the weekend.
My first impression was that Cooper’s character was a great example of what happens to a natural Alpha when he’s been condition to blue pill dedication to serving a feminized ideal – to the point of obsessive-compulsiveness.
He’s so dedicated to that conditioning that it becomes his pathology – he’s literally institutionalized and drugged in order to cope with that obsessive dedication to a blue pill ideal.
Then comes Jennifer Lawrence, the ex-slut who’s still a proud slut and naturally responds to the Alpha beneath the blue pill delusions of…wait for it…hopefulness that his dedication will be…wait for it again…appreciated by his ex-wife for that commitment to a blue pill ideal.
Cooper’s character Games and arouses Lawrence without any conscious effort – it’s all unintentional, organic Alpha, but clouded by blue pill idealism. Of course we’re expected to give Lawrence the obligatory pussy pass for being a prior slut who’s gotten right with herself, but is still hot for the natural Alpha who’d be soooo perfect if he’d only give up his blue pill hope of ever being appreciated by, and reunited with, his ex-wife.
And of course it has the feel good ending with both Alpha and (reformed) slut realizing how perfect they are for each other, they fall in love – the end.
This movie is a shining example of many red pill truths, though I doubt the writers really understood them, but mostly because it graphically illustrates how even an unintentional red pill mindset conflicts with a trained, conditioned, blue pill social context.
Once Cooper abandoned his blue pill HOPE of reuniting with the ex his conditioning convinced him would provide him with fulfillment, his perspective changed.
Cooper trains himself and dedicates himself to getting into peak physical shape (a condition he self-imposes to qualify for his ex’s acceptance) and realigns his entire persona to accommodate what his blue pill perspective convinces him his ex wife (the one he found cheating on him in a shower sex scene) will find more desirable than the man she was cheating on him with.
Even after evidential infidelity the fault of that betrayal rests with the man unable to be man enough, to be blue pill dedicated enough, to have prevented it. So rather than have the insight to question that blue pill perspective and drop that hope, a man will double-down on his blue pill mindset and dedicate himself to greater self-improvement to achieve that blue pill goal-state where he believes his contentment can be found.
September 30th, 2014 at 1:48 pm
”Then comes Jennifer Lawrence, the ex-slut who’s still a proud slut and naturally responds to the Alpha beneath the blue pill delusions of…wait for it…hopefulness that his dedication will be…wait for it again…appreciated by his ex-wife for that commitment to a blue pill ideal.”
No. Jennifer lawrence’s character wanted to bang him right after looking at him, before he even uttered a word. The fact that he was obsessed with his ex did not deter her from wanting to bang the guy. She even offered sex to him on the first night, after seeing how ”beta” he was. I’ve seen some pretty meek hot guys get laid after acting like sissies, and I’ve seen many average-looking men with ”masculine” behavior being sent to jail due to sexual harassment. A man’s looks is what makes him Alpha.
September 30th, 2014 at 2:16 pm
No, but his blue pill obsession DID deter him from banging her, thus she was deterred from fucking a perceived Alpha due to his blue pill mindset.
A man’s looks are an integral part of what makes him Alpha, but it’s the value of what those looks indicate to women’s limbic awareness that make him Alpha.
Think about that, what behavioral traits does a man’s great looks and physique imply to a woman’s subconscious? On a visceral level she’s aroused, but why is that arousal for symmetry and muscularity and not fat or disymmetry? And I don’t mean in the Red Queen, testosterone is genetically expensive to the immune system sense, but rather what observable behaviors and characteristics are associated with a man displaying “Alpha” looks?
You can have a guy who’s a physical apex Alpha (an equivalent HB10 man), but put the mind and social skills of a 12 year old down’s syndorme child in him and there will be a disconnect between a woman’s arousal prompts and what her hindbrain expects from a ‘real’ Alpha with the same looks.
That is what blue pill conditioning does to men – it limits and distorts men’s capacity to make that Alpha-value connection with women.
September 30th, 2014 at 2:18 pm
@ Prof VH and others.
‘The best lies are those that contain some truth.’
I dont recall where I read that saying, but it characterizes your position.
You are partially right in that looks do matter to some degree; however your correct assessment that looks do matter, doesn’t mean that everything else is incorrect.
Whenever you find yourself with a simple black and white solution to a complex problem, especially a solution which requires you to do no work, you likely have only a part of the truth, at best, abd that’s being very generous.
September 30th, 2014 at 3:50 pm
@ Plagio
Field report about recent stuff:
Mid-20s hottie goes with me to my truck to drink a beer. (Part of my social circle. She has made it clear time and again that I’m her favorite dance partner.) She obviously thinks we’re gonna screw. She starts telling me how much more attractive older men are–we’re so confident, chivalrous (lol), etc. She’s mimicking my body language. Obviously looking for a date and knows that at some point sex is on the table and is down with that.
College sophomore (call her Q) approaches me at Panera’s to discuss a sf book I was reading and self-deprecates that she’s a little geeky. Q mentions that she’s had cancer and hikes up her dress to show me the scar on her thigh. I invite Q to sit down and we chat. I break rapport, we exchange nos. and I leave.
Three black chicks approach me at the mall and one of them says about the one sitting next to me that she thinks that I’m cute.
My kids are older than any of these women. Either a) I’m fantastically well-preserved (ain’t no way), or b) 1) holding a woman’s eye and smiling or 2) leading a woman well in country two-step while talking with her about sex is important to a woman’s attraction cues. I used to do pickup several decades ago and my manner still shows it. Women can spot that manner and it generates tingles.
Ah, h311, don’t let reality spoil your fapping.
September 30th, 2014 at 4:24 pm
@von hard/
I myself were good looking as a young guy, and I have to confess that looks are very powerfull weapon when it comes to young women. However you can still fuck it up with real hot ones with meek personality. But, 6 or 7 WILL bang you no matter how retarded you are, provided you are physically able to have sex. This is all you need.
Guy with good “game” and average looks can pull good women, I saw a couple of guys doing just that, so its true.
But I´ve never seen average guy, with game or not, to be aggresively pursued by women. This is reserved for John, the Hot. Of course there are exemptions – like members of rock bands fuck tons of teen, stupid pussy..but I do not see any Mick Jagger here.
I am pushing forty, I have status, I am quite succesful. BUT I am balding, a bit overweight, to cut it short, some guys do not age well. I can still score some pussy, even young and hot ones..so I have some success.
But I am no longer pursued by young and hot women like I was, when I was young, retarded, poor boy.
So, looks are not all, but when you are willing to be pursued by women without doing almost anything, so when you want to live like one fucking GOD when women are served to you on a silver plate, looks are essential.
And THIS is what you want you lazy bastar!
Forget it! If you do not have the looks you have to WORK to score even some average young pussy. If you are lazy, forget about it.
September 30th, 2014 at 4:58 pm
Hello Rollo,
Thank you for yet another great post that hammers home more truth and reconfirms others.
Near the end of last week’s post I asked the following question…
“Would you define for us more specifically, concisely, and comprehensively how woman’s deep love for man (when it exists) is manifested; and describe in detail her concept of love as you understand it?”
This week’s post perhaps addresses my question somewhat and provides some general insight. However, I am still having trouble completely comprehending woman’s opportunistic love; specifically WHAT do they love.
You have stated repeatedly that women love opportunistically. I agree. Their behavior certainly supports this statement.
Opportunity is defined by Merriam Webster as “a favorable juncture of circumstances”.
Opportunistic love can only be based on opportunity (otherwise it is not opportunistic). Therefore, by definition, for a woman to love she must experience a favorable juncture of circumstances.
Specifically what are those favorable circumstances and….favorable for what… and favorable to who?
September 30th, 2014 at 5:24 pm
@Rollo,
I ALSO watched the same damn movie this weekend! Ha! Lawrence has starred in numerous feminist fairytales.
“feel good ending with both Alpha and (reformed) slut realizing how perfect they are for each other, they fall in love – the end.”
unhappily ever after…..
As usual another Hollywood feminist imperative production reinforcing blue pill mindset. This is the unrelenting feminist mandate regardless of how complicated, confusing, perverted and convoluted the plots become.
September 30th, 2014 at 5:30 pm
@George, I actually plan on getting into this topic when I do the Real Christian McQueen show on Saturday, but you should really read the whole Love series. It’ll help you understand what a I mean:
http://therationalmale.com/category/love/
Scroll to the bottom, start at Women in Love (yes again) and work your way up in order. There are 7 essays and they’re not a slog to read through.
Pat particular attention to Of Love and War and Love Story, but do read all of them.
September 30th, 2014 at 5:45 pm
Just a quick announcement to keep you all in the loop, I’ll be a guest on The Real Christian McQueen Show (podcast) this Saturday. I’ll post a brief announcement tomorrow, but if you have topic suggestions you can drop them here:
http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2htwr9/rollo_tomassi_on_the_real_christian_mcqueen_show/
September 30th, 2014 at 6:31 pm
I don’t know if you’re aware Rollo but McQueen was outed for plagiarism a few months back.
See: http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-9856-post-791482.html#pid791482
There’s a reason why all of his ROK posts were deleted, along with his banned account on the RooshVForums.
I know you’ll still go on with the podcast since you want to spread your message, but you should know who you’re dealing with. He really is no different than the other scam artists who leech off the manosphere to make a living. Proceed with caution.
September 30th, 2014 at 6:43 pm
Rollo-
Thanks,
I had already read some of the posts you referenced, just completed the remaining ones.
Love – 1. a passionate feeling of romantic desire and sexual attraction
2. an intense feeling of tender affection and compassion
Men’s idealistic concept of love is not real. It has never existed, does not and will not exist except in the minds of men who cannot or will not accept this reality. The only real love women have for men is conditional, based upon his performance and desirable characteristics. A man can only be loved by a woman for his value to her related to his physical characteristics and his performance. Woman cannot love man alone, without the physical characteristics and performance she desires of him. To think she can is pure myth.
Woman’s idealistic concept of love merges a man with his appearance and performance. This is also unrealistic. We do perform and we do have characteristics. But our performance and our characteristics are not “who” we are. Otherwise we would not be able to change our performance and characteristics. To think we are only what we do and what we look like is also pure myth.
In her solipsistic mind, is a woman incapable of separating a man from the characteristics and performances her compulsive hypergamy drives her to relentlessly pursue?
Does she love the man or does she love the characteristics and performance?
September 30th, 2014 at 6:50 pm
@TruthSayer, I’m aware, but McQueen is a far cry better than going on this guy’s show:
http://shymansdatingschool.com/podcasts/
Turned down the invite thanks to MikeC pointing out this guy’s traffic compared to mine.
September 30th, 2014 at 7:04 pm
Women love what a man is first and how well he satisfies optimizing her hypergamy by way of it.
She only loves who a man is after that’s been settled and only so long as it remains settled.
Men’s idealistic love isn’t based on a want for unconditional love, but rather a reversal of the priorities women place on qualifying their love as I’ve outlined here.
Men are conditioned by the fairytales of the Feminine Imperative to believe that’s possible – that he’ll be loved for who he is first and foremost, despite his performance for better and for worse.
September 30th, 2014 at 7:08 pm
Thank you, I think I understand you better.
The fairy tales cheat men by putting the cart before the horse so to speak in order to maximize the beta side of hypergamy?
September 30th, 2014 at 7:13 pm
That male idealistic love is founded in a desire for love exempt from hypergamy and performance standards.
September 30th, 2014 at 7:38 pm
Where each male is guaranteed unlimited sex with hot babes regardless of his character or performance……
September 30th, 2014 at 7:54 pm
Is it being deprived of the pleasure of fucking a beautiful woman that hurts? Or is it being deprived of what we believe that beautiful woman represents — the potential fulfillment of our idealistic (blue pill) fantasies?
That women can’t love men the way they want to be loved would be a blessing of the highest order in this case. It doesn’t matter how good you look or how ugly you are — there is no unicorn. It doesn’t exist.
So if you completely disillusion yourself from blue pill reality and see that women are actually incapable of loving you in the idealized way that you would love them…what’s left to be upset about? What are you really missing out on?
I don’t believe in MGTOW and I think that we should respect our desire for sex and pursue it. Being freed of the emotional torment is killing two birds with one stone: much greater personal satisfaction and a sense of personal peace and freedom that will inevitably lead to a greater degree of success with women in one way or another.
My entire frenulum was removed and on the foreskin coverage index I’m an RCI-0. I have virtually zero sensitivity and absolutely zero light touch sensitivity anywhere on my penis at all. So from shortly after birth I never even had the chance to fully experience sexual pleasure anyway (although I’m working on restoring my foreskin, and who knows how much sensitivity and increased sexual function I could have a few years down the road — I haven’t given up).
So we have two things:
-Sheer physical pleasure
-Psychological pleasure
As far as sheer physical pleasure goes, we haven’t only been conditioned into a Blue Pill reality (which falls under the psychological pleasure category): a lot of guys like me were circumcised at birth, the most unfortunate ones having extremely tight circumcisions like I had, and it isn’t even recognized for what it is: genital mutilation.
The public turns a blind eye to male circumcision while something like removing the clitoral hood in a girl would spark national outrage.
So not only was our success with women sabotaged on a psychological level, our ability to even enjoy jerking off in isolation, let alone having actual sex, was sabotaged.
Infant male genital mutilation is still an accepted practice and people still debate it as if it’s an issue that should be debated. It’s like people are debating whether we should be binding people’s feet or not. It’s insane, but it’s also a part of Blue Pill reality.
Psychological pleasure: this is where Blue Pill psychological conditioning comes into play.
What hurts about being rejected, about not looking good enough or being man/alpha enough to get that girl of your dreams? What hurts is the denial of your hope to fulfill your Blue Pill fantasy.
When we realize that the Blue Pill fantasy is just that — a fantasy — and is an impossible dream, we can let go of it. I would love to be having sex with beautiful women, but between having my genitals mutilated as an infant and now realizing that the hope of idealistic love is just a pipe dream —
— it doesn’t bother me anywhere near as much. Because I’m starting to fully accept what I do and don’t have control over, and let go of the emotional pain that’s attached to things I have no control over so I can capitalize fully on the things I DO have control over.
I’m a lot more content now to be working out for my physical health and because I want to look good and command respect, restoring my foreskin with the hope of improving my sexual sensitivity, and finally starting to let go of my attachment to the idea of being in a blue pill relationship. I would like to have a sex life and depriving myself of that, whether it’s out of fear or anxiety or whatever, isn’t being fair to me. I’m slowly learning to acknowledge and prioritize my desire for sex over everything else with women — because primarily, that’s what I really want from them. The rest, if there is any more, will follow from that.
It’s a slow process but it’s happening. There’s a lot to be gained from having a Red Pill understanding of relationships with women, even if you’re not actively engaged with them. Because who’s conditioning is it? Whose program is it? Whose mind is it? Yours.
I’m glad Rollo wrote this article. The whole idea of hope and the emotional concepts involved in going Red Pill are extremely important and sometimes I don’t think they’re given the attention they deserve. I was very happy to see this article and I’d like to start seeing some anecdotes about guys finding personal peace and a sense of improved quality of life as a result of integrating this stuff. If those improvements aren’t there, what’s the point? In reality it’s the only point, and we should never forget that.
September 30th, 2014 at 7:59 pm
Don Quixote had his windmills
Ponce de Leon took his cruise
Took Sinbad seven voyages
To see that it was all a ruse
…
All alone on the road to perfection
At the inspection booth they tried to discourage me
You can believe what you want, that’ll never change it
You’ll have to come around eventually
September 30th, 2014 at 8:01 pm
“Both men and women are disposable due to the population numbers we have now . . .”
When faced with a runaway population, such as the Northeast is experiencing with white-tailed deer, hunt the females.
September 30th, 2014 at 8:13 pm
Rollo,
I have similar questions as George.
I have read your articles on the subject of love many times. I think I understand. Certainly there is no conflict between your explanation of “opportunistic love” and my own experience and observation. I have believing your correct and that this is the truth.
The issue for me is I see no value of being the object of such. On the one hand that was huge weight off my shoulders as I no longer have to concern myself with seeking and obtaining the love of a good woman (or any woman). Since what she has to offer in that respect means… well…nothing to me. I can live my life for myself and not have worry about having missed out on something.
On the other hand it’s a real motivation killer as regards pursuing anything beyond a very short term sexually focused relationship, certainly nothing that requires my emotional investment or commitment.
So my own new hope it be content and satisfied with my life based on my own assessment and be free from the burden of worrying about external performance reviews of every kind. The second part is easy, external review have nothing to do with me and everything to do with a performance. Getting past my internal critic is much harder.
September 30th, 2014 at 8:29 pm
“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.”
~Lao Tzu
September 30th, 2014 at 9:16 pm
@ Hardwigg
“Example, attractive 20 year old girl in the subway kept staring at me. I would stare at her and not move my eyes away from her. ”
Funny, a woman I was on a study date with in college did the exact same thing. She had a boyfriend. I approached this woman to find out what she wanted and she kissed me. Then we made out for a while. Then she became my gf.
Too bad you never approach. Don’t be beta.
October 1st, 2014 at 2:26 am
Ok @rollo the comment you had referencing a 12 year old Down syndrome anti social kid is right one about the looks. That was a money comment.
For those of you getting “banned” from blogs like CH….take it as they are challenging you to go out and game.
You wouldn’t be defending that so tough if you have had first hand experience with not very “pretty boys” gaming and fucking girls and “pretty boys” not doing the same.
Seriously. 2 months. Go out and put in the work. You will see. This is assuming you aren’t top notch looks.
Oh a few exceptions:
1) If you’re fat as fuck, lose weight.
2) of you have something clearly wrong with your looks like disgusting teeth–>fix that.
Don’t be an idiot. The argument is that a 8-9 guy vs a 6-7 guy in looks is equal playing field for most girls.
October 1st, 2014 at 5:08 am
I’ve seen guys approach girls who were giving signals of interest. How it went depended on the man’s looks. Average men were shot down, hot men weren’t. Women do seen to pretend be interested to garnish attention. Anyway, with the amount of vagina-hounds out there it wouldn’t take long. for the woman to jump branch. Women are only loyal to their options.
October 1st, 2014 at 8:30 am
you just said women are indifferent to average(men who aren’t obese, have a decent face) men but What i notice is how women expect average men to be Mr. Psychologist, bodyguard, walking atm machine etc even if she’s some random average-looking chick you’re crossing on the street
Yes. This is true women are indifferent to attraction of average men but are very much dependent on them for validation and obviously, most (all?) of technology/infrastructure/etc. Women are dependent on beta men and far more so than most men will ever realize. Even forgetting about cars, roads, computers and so forth, most women need average men to for their egos.
Why should i give them What i want when they are all a bunch of attention whores trying to feel good about themselves?
Give them what you want. If that’s nothing, then great. Women will follow the men, no matter how much we screech otherwise.
And even [Robert Pattinson] got cheated on by his very bland-looking twilight gf.
Precisely, because he was a supplicating beta. He was Rollo’s hunk with the mind of a 12 year old down’s syndrome kid.
October 1st, 2014 at 8:31 am
Let me rephrase, women will follow strong men. Right now, men tend to follow women (feminine imperative).
October 1st, 2014 at 10:44 am
@ Tam
RE trollspotting
Trolls see you and say, “Oh damn, it’s Tam the Bam, the spamtroll-spotter.
October 1st, 2014 at 11:45 am
Did you guys know that a pull a year 2M after taxes? No, its a lie. But you expect people to believe you pull younger women who are hot from young, fit, Handsome men because you have game? Huh, no. Keyboard jockeys festival. When my father had a middle-life crisis he bought a boat. Much better then seeing 35+ year Old men trying to get some from women almost young enough to be their kids. No, i’m not a feminist troll. I’m a guy who laughs at the male hamster that is infinite in “”gamers””
October 1st, 2014 at 11:46 am
Tell Giggles we said “hi”
October 1st, 2014 at 11:56 am
Dude What the hell I’ve been told i was a mansphere troll at hookingupsmart because i don’t adhere to the nonsense of women being attracted to dads, not cads. I understand that there’a a cult vibe going on, but you gotta understand that game is dying out. Young men don’t really believe in game for they’ve tried it and failed. Plus most women are familiar with game. And the internet gurus of game will be dead 20 to 30 years from now. Women like Susan walsh, women who try to sell husbands are going out of biz soon.yo bro, young women spend the majority of their time flirting with men. Its pratice for when they see a man they want. Try to get Laid with them fine young ass and report back.
October 1st, 2014 at 12:02 pm
I would say hi to the Old lady but she told me to go back to wife-abuser before she banned me lol. Its kinda cute how you both hate each other but you two are basically trying to sell the same bill of bulshit. Well, at least strauss mad money with his pink fiction lol. Well, have class now, time to see the 30y Old college students trying to get Laid brohug!
October 1st, 2014 at 1:23 pm
[…] Christian woman who blogs. She made the following interesting comment on Rollo Tomasi’s blog: <I>Let me rephrase, women will follow strong men. Right now, men tend to follow women […]
October 1st, 2014 at 1:27 pm
@ Stingray
Let me rephrase, women will follow strong men. Right now, men tend to follow women (feminine imperative).
No disagreement. I responded to you on my blog since my response was lengthy and a field report.
http://theasdgamer.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/dance-connection-response-to-stingray/
October 1st, 2014 at 1:33 pm
@ Plagio the humorous troll
But you expect people to believe you pull younger women who are hot from young, fit, Handsome men because you have game?
Yes, because it happens to me…a lot. It’s an annoyance since I’m intent on keeping my vows. Been there, done that, without even trying. Women are aroused by dominant men. Younger men lack confidence and, hence, aren’t dominant. Hence, they don’t tingle women. It’s Inner Game, not negs so much.
Why do you think that young women complain that all the good men are taken? Young, handsome, fit men just aren’t visible to them…because those young, handsome, fit men lack confidence. Women want a Real Man(tm).
October 1st, 2014 at 1:34 pm
If Looks are all that matter to women then why is there no market for life-like Alpha Male sex dolls (such as Real Dolls) for women to the same degree there is for men?
October 1st, 2014 at 1:43 pm
@ Softek
Props for Warren Zevon.
October 1st, 2014 at 3:54 pm
Wow. The comments on male love blew me away. My entire blue pill state was a deal to keep a high smv woman, a defense against hypergamy and a tactic to have sex with her even if she is no longer attracted to me. She “owes” me because I’m such a good guy, lol.
When I look at my marriage, it’s just so clear. Hot sex almost only came after inducing dread (didn’t see this at the time). My whole approach was “I provide and now u owe me. ” it bothered me to even think that I had to work to get my wife’s attention.and of course, the real gem Rollo pointed out before is so obvious. My blue pill means never worked anyway.
Weight falling off at this point. New body shape is emerging. Someone here said something genius that stuck with me. “Don’t work to get one woman. Instead, put that work into yourself and all women will be less work.” Something like that anyway. Makes so much sense.
I feel like I have been sleepwalking for most of my life….
October 1st, 2014 at 4:01 pm
A blue pill mindset is defined by a perpetual state of mate guarding.
October 1st, 2014 at 4:38 pm
@ Will
“the comment you had referencing a 12 year old Down syndrome anti social kid is right one about the looks. That was a money comment.”
Many good looking men have great social intelligence via the “halo effect” positive feedback loop. But then again, delusional gamers always cling to outliers.
“For those of you getting “banned” from blogs like CH….take it as they are challenging you to go out and game.”
Holy shit. Just listen to yourself. I’m becoming increasingly convinced that the whole pua-sphere and the mano-sphere is just one big cult-like following. When Aunt Giggles bans or edits comments, she gets criticism (and rightfully so) but when Heartiste does it, “Oh he’s doing it for the greater good! Go approach, you beta!” Do you not see the disparity here? The guy (heartiste) clearly has something to hide and you delusional sheep think it serves some greater purpose.
“Don’t be an idiot. The argument is that a 8-9 guy vs a 6-7 guy in looks is equal playing field for most girls.”
You don’t seem to understand hypergamy very well, so you’re dismissed.
@theasdNOgamer
Dude, give it a rest. You’re clearly living in a past era if you honestly believe young women find young men invisible to them. LOL, wake up and smell the coffee grandpa.
@Rollo:
“If Looks are all that matter to women then why is there no market for life-like Alpha Male sex dolls (such as Real Dolls) for women to the same degree there is for men?”
That’s because all women have more readily available options than men do. A female 5 is way different from a male 5 in terms of SMV. I knew a girl who once told me, ” Even though I have no guy friends, I know I could easily lose my viriginity at anytime I feel like it.” All women subconsciously know this, don’t kid yourself Rollo. You yourself said that looks are of primary importance to young women.
Nonetheless, I do find it ironic that feminism and the manosphere both have similarities that neither side will want to admit to. They both perpetuate a blue pill state of mind when convenient. In the manosphere’s case, they drive home the myth that looks aren’t as important as game. When anyone in the know, knows this is bullshit.
October 1st, 2014 at 4:42 pm
@ Glenn
Hot sex almost only came after inducing dread (didn’t see this at the time).
From what I can tell, Soft Dread should be continually practiced in marriage in order to keep it healthy. I have been doing it for six months now. I have written a post about Soft Dread in the Song of Solomon.
My whole approach was “I provide and now u owe me. ” it bothered me to even think that I had to work to get my wife’s attention
It seems that a lot of Blue Pill men think that once vows are taken, there’s no need to keep romance alive. My post about Sexual Macrodynamics discusses romance in long-term relationships.
Weight falling off at this point.
Women find obesity unattractive just like men do–though the degree may differ.
Don’t work to get one woman. Instead, put that work into yourself and all women will be less work.
Focusing on one woman reduces your appeal to that woman since it shows that you lack options.
Your attitude should be, “Women are like buses. There’s a new one along every ten minutes.” Red Pill info from my granny.
Put work into making yourself more confident around women when interacting with them. Take up lead/follow dancing, for example. You could also just start conversing with women you meet when you run errands, like cashiers.
October 1st, 2014 at 4:54 pm
FakeMorpheus “You don’t seem to understand hypergamy very well, so you’re dismissed.”
SocialJusticeWarrior cliché, that. Are you going to start demanding “citations” next? Or randomly howling “Wow, just wow” etc.
October 1st, 2014 at 5:19 pm
That’s because all women have more readily available options than men do. A female 5 is way different from a male 5 in terms of SMV. I knew a girl who once told me, ” Even though I have no guy friends, I know I could easily lose my viriginity at anytime I feel like it.” All women subconsciously know this, don’t kid yourself Rollo. You yourself said that looks are of primary importance to young women.
FakeMorpheus,
Is this some new math here where 5 doesn’t equal 5. Go back to 1st grade math. By definition a male 5 and a female 5 have equal SMVs. Now, yes they have different ease of sexual access, but that is because men will fuck down 2-3 points for casual/fling, while in contrast women generally will only fuck up for casual/fling. Arguably, women require higher SMV of their casual partners than the guy they would select as a boyfriend/husband. Men are the opposite. They’ll bang the chick they don’t want to be seen out with.
Nonetheless, I do find it ironic that feminism and the manosphere both have similarities that neither side will want to admit to. They both perpetuate a blue pill state of mind when convenient. In the manosphere’s case, they drive home the myth that looks aren’t as important as game. When anyone in the know, knows this is bullshit.
This question will always be debated, Personally, I think it is very hard to say which is more important, and I’ve got personal experience from every angle on this issue. I can think of too many examples of guys who got NOTHING in the looks department banging chicks 2-3 points higher in looks. At the same time, looks open a lot of doors. When I got out of college (many years ago) I was 6’3″, 265 pounds, 44 inch waist, 30% bodyfat. I was a virgin who never got any attention from women. I hit the gym the next year like a crusader and that next summer I was 205 pounds, 34 inch waist, 10% bodyfat, and had built basically a fitness model type body. I started to get attention from girls left and right when I went out, but I had no Game because all I had worked on was my body and not my socializing (Game as we know it now didn’t even exist then). And I couldn’t close the deal the majority of the time. I had buddies that joked I was the master of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. I landed a pretty hot girlfriend who in retrospect had serious mental issues and was ultimately responsible for my unplugging. It is actually kind of a stupid debate, because the sensible guy will work on both. He will hit the gym, get a better haircut, dress better, and improve his Game.
October 1st, 2014 at 5:27 pm
@ Plagio the troll living in his own fantasy world
Dude, give it a rest. You’re clearly living in a past era if you honestly believe young women find young men invisible to them. LOL, wake up and smell the coffee grandpa.
Young men were congratulating me at a hookup venue recently for getting hotties to dance with me. They said that I was an inspiration to them. The hotties weren’t dancing with other men very much.
In college, women limit themselves to young men they know. Once they leave college and go to bars, they are aroused by Real Men(tm) who aren’t nervous about cold-approaching or talking to them.
It’s one thing to hook up with someone you know in college (been there, done that) and another to cold approach a woman in a bar whom you don’t know. At 15, I was cold-approaching girls who were bussed in from other schools to dances at my all-boys boarding school. Have you done even one cold-approach? Didn’t think so.
Pray, continue fapping.
October 1st, 2014 at 5:45 pm
@ Plagio the wandering troll
There must be a catapult in Mordor from which you’ve gone missing.
As Rollo has pointed out, men in their early 30s on average have the highest SMV’s.
Social contexts may alter SMV’s somewhat, such as a dance venue. An older man may show youthful grace while dancing and create the perception that he is young in women who observe his dancing. Been there, done that, women thought I was in my early 40s.
Check Rollo’s SMV graph for men in their early 40’s–it’s not dropped much from the early 30’s. Add in the social context value-modifier for being a good dancer; add the confidence in chatting with women the man just met and with sexualizing. You can see that SMV can be high for older men if they have special venue status and great confidence.
To show confidence, I tell women that I’m a retired PUA and they eat it up. Prudes, not so much, but I screen for prudes. That also sexualizes things implicitly.
October 1st, 2014 at 6:07 pm
The Hen House’s 7 approved commenters get off on the indignation that 28 y.o. women find 38 y.o. men attractive.
In an era of open hypergamy, when men are well aware of women’s AFBB sexual strategy, shaming men doesn’t work anymore, so the reductio ad absurdum becomes one of “LOL, wake up and smell the coffee grandpa. 22 y.o. hotties don’t dig you geriatric 60 y.o. KJ’s, hurr, hurr!”
And you’re clearly not living in a post-hypergamy awareness era if you believe that women don’t also see older men as attractive. It’s ironic that for all of Aunt Giggles point-and-sputter every one of her female readers admits to the common statistic of wanting an LTR with a man between 4-7 years older than she is, and most commonly between the ages of 27-30.
The older women get, the better they understand that they won’t hold young men’s attentions. Just ask Sheryl Sandberg.
October 1st, 2014 at 6:19 pm
Next time you’re over at Hooking Up Hens, you might ask Giggles why she hasn’t touched this article yet:
http://www.xojane.com/sex/30-is-the-new-50-old-age-is-killing-my-dating-life
She’s still semi-hot, former model, shouldn’t she be interested in 23 y.o. dudes?
October 1st, 2014 at 8:16 pm
Hi Rollo,
Would you consider drawing a arrowed picture of the male life cycle as you did for the female life cycle.
This is not the same as the SMV graph which was done with curves, but it was the physicality –>, status provisioning –>, alpha re-interest, etc.
Many of your readers are in their 20’s (myself included) and it would be enlightening to have our future foretold, especially so we can avoid selling ourselves short with an early marriage –> divorce.
Early marriage = divorce I’ve FINALLY discovered that!
You could do a 2 paths diverged in the woods type; 1 with early marriage –> divorce
the other with holding out and –> ? I do not know where this leads, hence the request/question.
October 1st, 2014 at 9:00 pm
I just realized that it’s my post Rollo has quoted.. I’ve been so inundated with school, I hadn’t had the chance to come here and read the new post.
I have so many thoughts surrounding this topic that I’d take up pages getting them out.
I’ll simplify by saying this for now.. Getting it, understanding it and finally seeing it is transfomative, and, as always, very hard. How to proceed from here, imagining a new path, and a new way forward…it’s definitely a challenge. But it has eased the tightness in my chest, the inner rage..
I’m finding myself still, reflectively, acting on old beliefs I now know are dead and gone, but as if from a removed perspective.This is not about women.. it’s about you. It’s about freedom, it’s about everything. And every tic, every well worn neuronal pathway wants to keep firing along its well conditioned lines.
There are definitely some questions and observations I’d like to share, but it’s an avalanche at the moment.
I jst want to thank Rollo and all the commentators here- seriously, even the comments here are a cut about any other site- for all the help and information here.
I don’t know where this is all leading, but I do feel an immnense gratitude despite the diffiulty of learning these things.. and then assimilating it all.
These are interesting times, at least.
October 1st, 2014 at 9:50 pm
@ theasdgamer
Still hoping on him getting inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Always good to know someone else who’s a fan of his work.
October 1st, 2014 at 10:10 pm
@Nathan, you’re very perceptive – a portion of my next book has a chapter dedicated to exactly what you’ve described.
October 1st, 2014 at 11:39 pm
I figured you guys might get a kick out of this.
Bill Burr describes women’s invasion of the male space on Conan:
Notice the majority of the crowd’s reaction. He’s saying too much truth for their liking.
October 2nd, 2014 at 12:15 am
@ Rollo
Wait until the college guys graduate and hit the bars and try to cold-approach women, quaking in their boots. heh
You know, I didn’t do cold approaches for decades since I was spending all my time working and raising kids and our social life consisted of movies and restaurants and a few dinner dates with another married couple. No dancing except for a few studio group lessons.
A year ago I took up ballroom dancing, followed by country in Jan. Cold-approaching has never been a problem for me since I started doing it at 15. I don’t typically wait for eye contact–I just approach until a woman accepts an invitation to dance.
It has to be disconcerting to all the cat ladies that 20-somethings find “grandpa” hot. Not only that, but they are willing to poach a married man. Disconcerting to wives. Lots of competition among women. My wife freaked out when she saw me dancing with a new-college-grad pretty blonde who was wearing short shorts. All that being said, I’m probably an outlier.
There are a couple of PUAs at my dance bar who have my level of confidence–one is early 30’s and the other mid 60’s and both pull women in their 20’s. I think that the older man actually pays for dates. I get approached by women more than either man, though. Maybe because I dance more than they do and do more cold approaches and DHV. They do more chatting than I do.
Women do the boob graze on my arm a lot–young and old alike. Once an early-20s chick did the boob graze very assertively (very pretty face, but heavy). Once an older woman raked my chest with her boob several times in a row. Said she had too much to drink, which I took as more flirting. An obviously drunk older woman grabbed my hand and pressed it against her boob at the end of a dance. A drunk hottie grabbed me once by the hand and pulled me onto the dance floor and said, “Let’s dance.” These were all strangers to me. Sometimes women in my social circle do a very subtle boob graze–subtle enough for plausible deniability. This shows the level of competition for men.
October 2nd, 2014 at 3:00 am
Rollo,
I thought you might like this great (inadvertent) bit of truth from a new study on marriage by Pew (via NPR).
“Men were less likely than women to have never tied the knot, and the less educated those men were, the less likely they were to marry. That wasn’t true for women: Women of all education levels were about as likely to not be married.”
The ugly truth: Poor guys have a hard time attracting wives, and unattractive women have a hard time attracting husbands. Male MMV depends on achievement, Female MMV is independent of achievement. In other words, there are unattractive women in all socio-economic groups. And education doesn’t have the same positive effect on female MMV as it does on male MMV.
(In fact education itself is probably making women less marriageable. You would expect higher average rates of marriage among educated women because they have fewer government-welfare-driven incentives to stay unmarried, they tend to be thinner and healthier, better dressed, etc. than the less educated, etc. But “education” these days has negative effects on women that offset the higher propensity of higher class women to get married. It often involves large debts which can deter suitors, it indoctrinates women with harmful feminist ideas which are not attractive to men, it encourages and abets promiscuity, and it misleads women into thinking that their MMV prospects will remain high in their late 30’s after they have the degrees and the careers they want.)
Anyway, I wanted to bring the quote to your attention and get your take on it.
October 2nd, 2014 at 3:39 am
Two teachers ( and they’re both attractive) have a threesome with a 16yr old student:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/01/shelley-dufresne-teacher-sex-rachel-respess_n_5915244.html
I remember Rollo saying something along the lines of, “As technology advances, women’s primacy will become increasingly noticeable.” One of the women has a husband from which she had three kids with. Say it with me:
Hypergamy doesn’t care about the children.
Hypergamy doesn’t care that you’re a devoted husband.
Hypergamy doesn’t care about….ah, you guys get the point.
Also, I heard the teenager has a videotape where he drums their faces with his dick. LOL. If that isn’t Alpha, I don’t know what is.
October 2nd, 2014 at 8:52 am
The tenets of RP are a lot like Zen koans, as you work on your own self improvement you begin to “Get it”, bit by bit. As far as what women are attracted to it depends on the moment, if she’s pissed at her man some would rawdog with Jabba the Hutt in a Mall parking lot as a way of revenge.
October 2nd, 2014 at 9:11 am
Thanks Rollo!
October 2nd, 2014 at 9:45 am
Re: teachers with student. It wasn’t his looks. Yes, I know.
October 2nd, 2014 at 9:53 am
Stingray says, understandably but wrongly, “women will follow strong men”. I’m not even going to bother debating about “strong”. Adam was much stronger than Eve, and God infinitely stronger than that, and she followed neither until forced to.
Rollo says instead “A blue pill mindset is defined by a perpetual state of mate guarding.” As is often the case with his pithier condensations, this is so right it’s hard to see (unless you already know it) and unpack it for yourself. A woman will follow a man she needs to mateguard.
October 2nd, 2014 at 10:21 am
@ The Ronin
As far as what women are attracted to it depends on the moment, if she’s pissed at her man some would rawdog with Jabba the Hutt in a Mall parking lot as a way of revenge.
Probably not picky about the location. Any old Johnny On the Spot will do as well. Probably video it, too.
October 2nd, 2014 at 10:22 am
@ jf12
Good to see you again.
A woman will follow a man she needs to mateguard.
And, of course, whine at him for not mateguarding himself adequately.
October 2nd, 2014 at 11:19 am
Fundamentally, the RP is a lot like Zen. It is about embracing your inner energy and enjoying life for its own sake. All real-world projections of happiness such as wealth, status, etc. are still blue-pill constructions of what “should” make us happy. Women naturally want to follow the man with the most life energy, because that is the only real route to happiness. That is what Alpha is all about. Looks are an important part of the equation, because one’s physical body is an important indication of our life energy, but obviously, other displayed factors (e.g. creativity, determination) can override that. Beta bucks is just a man, no matter how capable or good looking, who subscribes to the blue pill version of happiness and orients his life that way. Eventually, a woman will get bored of that approach and look for something else. Hence, the state of most LTRs. Self-improvement is a key part of the red pill, because it harnesses our life energy…..and it can be any activity as long as it is done for its own sake.
October 2nd, 2014 at 11:21 am
Hi Rollo,
As you are a psychologist major, I recommend this excellent documentary (free to watch):
http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/the-century-of-the-self/
October 2nd, 2014 at 1:13 pm
@jf12
“Re: teachers with student. It wasn’t his looks. Yes, I know.”
I’m not big on the discussion of looks here because it’s often way too exaggerated but to think that these teachers simply banged the kid for anything other than something physical is still a bit foolish. He’s a 16 year old boy, what does he honestly have to provide aside from anything Alpha Fucks related?
I’ve seen pictures of the kid (from the news story I posted) and he is definitely a somewhat handsome kid. His twitter page and facebook were leaked out on some forums. He sort of looks like Rico Suave, I kid you not. Plus he’s a football player so he must have an athlete’s body.
Most of these kids banging teachers are athletes so there is some physical component of attraction here, regardless of what anyone says. It’s simple when you think about it.
Young, athletic alpha fulfills the Alpha Fucks side of her strategy; meanwhile her pudgy, dutiful husband fulfills the Beta Bucks of her strategy.
October 2nd, 2014 at 1:18 pm
AFBB, women dualistic sexual strategy in action
October 2nd, 2014 at 1:34 pm
Women are notorious for drawing attention they don’t actually want. Attention that will turn into sex. Thinking of college, I remember seeing chicks with their butt cheeks hanging out of their shorts, They would flirt with older men, unattractive men because every guy is still a source of dat coveted male attention.
very beautiful women. The type of girl I like to call ”professional football player squeeze.” These are the chicks who can only be afforded by rich men.
There were others, attractive enough chicks you could date if you bothered talking to them, but here’s the thing. You guys like leftovers? Dating is not Alpha. Marriage is not Alpha. Alpha men pump and dump and never talk to the women again. I knew of 15 year old Alphas in high school who were banging very hot 25 year old teachers. Meh, you see those guys getting their dicks wet with perfect women without pulling your wallet or having to put up with women, and then you have the girls you meet in college, who are attractive to most guys, I guess, but they aren’t those tall, natural blondes who end up banging the German national football team. Depressing.
October 2nd, 2014 at 1:34 pm
@Plagio
October 1st, 2014 at 11:45 am
Did you guys know that a pull a year 2M after taxes? No, its a lie. But you expect people to believe you pull younger women who are hot from young, fit, Handsome men because you have game? Huh, no. Keyboard jockeys festival. When my father had a middle-life crisis he bought a boat. Much better then seeing 35+ year Old men trying to get some from women almost young enough to be their kids. No, i’m not a feminist troll. I’m a guy who laughs at the male hamster that is infinite in “”gamers””
Your claim is false.
There are a FEW younger guys who are sexually confident and attractive enough to bed girls regularly. But this is not true for a large majority. Most are unconfident, insecure, not very attractive, physically undeveloped and unfortunately (because our current social acceptance of excuses and laziness) are afraid to assume leadership roles including and especially with sex.
“Older” men have and always have had success. As an extreme example, my father was 49 when I was born. He married mom when she was 26, he was 46. She was his 4th wife and she was hot. Many men dispose of their first or second wives and acquire younger ones. Dad never worked for anyone but himself. He was attractive. Women were mesmerized by him. More than one 20 something year old grade school teacher told me ‘Man! Your dad’s cute’.
There are many successful men who are “older” and successful with younger women. An electrical contractor who works for me recently married a 25 year old HOT stripper. He is 52 not highly attractive but very muscular, doesn’t give a shit what anyone thinks, tattoos, rides a Harley, and smokes dope occasionally. They met at a party, he got her number, she asked for his, while he was hitting on another girl she texted him, “I’m not wearing any panties”. Young women want a guy who is experienced and self-confident, with “balls”, with more answers than questions, in control, uninhibited and unafraid to take initiative,
and this, more often than not, means a guy somewhat older than them.
I took longer than the usual getting through college, completely supporting myself. My parents divorced the year after I graduated from high school. Dad was 68 and immediately began dating a 40 year old. Later during college, the girls became more and more attracted to me. Getting dates became as easy as brushing my teeth. This occurred because of increased self-confidence, independence, and muscular growth; all of these took time to develop.
I was 30 and my wife was 21 when we married (both of us near the peak of our SMV, Rollo’s graph is accurate and true). She was all about me sexually and otherwise. She WANTED someone older, more mature than almost all guys her age, established, in control (and she was not only settling for beta provisioning). She didn’t want an insecure, inexperienced “boy” who hadn’t established himself in his own mind. She wanted a man. This is what all young (and older women) desire. No woman wants to teach a guy how to be a man, nothing is more sexually disappointing for a woman. It takes time for guys to become men. No woman wants a “puppy dog” whining, whimpering and following her around; begging for more after she has given him a little sex morsel or only the hope for one.
Consider “Fifty Shades of Grey”. She is young and very inexperienced. He is older than her, atop the apex of his game, extremely experienced and in control. It is women who are devouring this story like starving rats, not men……wonder why?
October 2nd, 2014 at 1:35 pm
”Attention that will turn into sex. ”
i mean women see male attention from two perspectives.
Average looking men = you can look and desire me but you can’t touch me.
Are you a 25 year old Oliver Khan? then come bang me silly.
October 2nd, 2014 at 2:06 pm
”There are a FEW younger guys who are sexually confident and attractive enough to bed girls regularly. But this is not true for a large majority. Most are unconfident, insecure, not very attractive, physically undeveloped and unfortunately (because our current social acceptance of excuses and laziness) are afraid to assume leadership roles including and especially with sex.”
Maybe over there in America, and maybe that’s where plagio is from,, but if you were to visit Scandinavia and Germany and the places near those regions/Country you’d see something different. over here, I see hundreds of men, everyday, who would be considered attractive in Europe but to Nordic women these guys are average. Their idea of attractive is something similar to super-man. And there are quite a few of those going about. 6’3” -6’6” some are skinny, which women don’t mind, some are strongly built, but all have very handsome faces and they have the typical Germanic taciturn personality and tact.
These guys are on a whole different level from the rest of the men in Europe, sure, most men in the western world are ugly, young or old it doesn’t matter, but the Germanic Countries are like the breeding area for Thor and Loki And Odin and what the hell, I’m not bisexual but even I can understand why women put out so easily for them.
Even the women are 6 feet tall or taller with flat shoes. Its really amazing, like visiting the heavens or something, if you spend a few days in the cold lands of Northern Europe.
Money doesn’t really mean much to young women, so a man either is divinely good-looking or he’s out of luck if he wants to grab these Schöne Frauen and I can’t really get them with my South European looks. Sure, women from my shithole of a Country might find me attractive, and other men might find these chicks attractive, but why would I want dark skinned women with dark hair, that would be like banging my mother, meh.
October 2nd, 2014 at 2:10 pm
re: “some physical component of attraction here”
Nobody says otherwise. In contrast, everyone who says “The only thing that counts is handsomeness” is completely wrong.
October 2nd, 2014 at 2:38 pm
^ Come to Europe and try game, I’ve seen good-looking older men with money trying to game/woo/court/whatever the only women worth having and they all failed. Its the truth, if you are in an environment which has far more women than men, like European colleges, you can find yourself a girlfriend without much work, and she can’t be good-looking enough, whereas you are nothing special. But that’s one girlfriend. Its not an harem of chicks like Ramses II had in his prime. And anyway, Alphas don’t date, they pump and dump, the girl would eventually feel you to be a beta.
Speaking truthfully, why would I want a chick who is with me because there are very few males around her, or the guys who are around her are obese/ugly/bald? True arousal is the only thing that matters and that is when male physical beauty comes into play. I tell you man, women date men they aren’t interested in until someone better comes along, and women don’t put out freely for average men. At least not the woman I’m looking at right now.
October 2nd, 2014 at 2:39 pm
she can’t be good-looking enough,
she can be good-looking enough to induce a boner without the aid of porn or viagra, but they aren’t hot enough to get the respect from my buddies. Imagine how my father would think highly of me if I was to bring home to visit a girl like I see everyday. But that won’t happen if I don’t become rich lol.
October 2nd, 2014 at 2:51 pm
On the looks issue, Good Looking Looser said that in an environment, where you can’t use Game, Looks are everything. Example are loud dance clubs, where women go to find the Top 1% tall male models for that fantasy fucking that she will hide in her memory from her future LTR “friend”.
But there are countless examples of mediocre looking men who get hot women, because they have something else in the Top 1%. It needs to be anything that EXCITES.
Maybe Game can not increase your league to 10/10, but without Game you are playing in the bottom leagues below your true potential.
October 2nd, 2014 at 3:43 pm
@ Hardwiggs
And anyway, Alphas don’t date, they pump and dump, the girl would eventually feel you to be a beta.
Lots of alphas run harems and have LTRs.
True arousal is the only thing that matters and that is when male physical beauty comes into play.
Take your codswallop and leave, troll. Don’t let the door hit you in he @$$ on your way out.
October 2nd, 2014 at 3:46 pm
@ john
On the looks issue, Good Looking Looser said that in an environment, where you can’t use Game, Looks are everything. Example are loud dance clubs,
This is drivel. Inner Game always shows up in the way you walk, the way you hold women’s gaze, etc. If it’s a loud dance club, you ask a woman to dance with your body language. Then you relocate to some quiet area–maybe another bar or go for a walk, etc.
October 2nd, 2014 at 3:53 pm
@ Hardwiggs
Even the women are 6 feet tall or taller with flat shoes. Its really amazing, like visiting the heavens or something, if you spend a few days in the cold lands of Northern Europe.
I remember a lovely 6’3 Scandinavian blonde named Birgit who was always thrilled to dance with me–I’m under 6′.
Don’t you know where the exit is?
October 3rd, 2014 at 1:56 am
And did you bang her? Look mate, its quite easy to talk to women. They’re basically grown-up children, its easy to make them laugh, and they always respond ”positively” to flirting, as its a way they have to feel good about themselves, and its also training for when they see that 6’6” stone-cut jawline Alpha.
Now, to bang them? Who cares if they dance with us? They’re not banging the shorties.
October 3rd, 2014 at 2:02 am
”This is drivel. Inner Game always shows up in the way you walk, the way you hold women’s gaze, etc. If it’s a loud dance club, you ask a woman to dance with your body language. Then you relocate to some quiet area–maybe another bar or go for a walk, etc.”
Dude, what? From what I’ve seen, women approach men they are attracted to. Never in my life have I seen men approach women and I’ve been to most of the most beautiful vagina-Countries(I’ve never been to South America or Africa, I’m not interested in 3rd world Countries where women blow a guy for 1 euro) I have never in my life seen a guy approach a woman. Most guys know they have no shot, come on bro. Women have sausages thrown at them everyday, why wouldn’t they be particular about the sausage they consume?
As for the rest, give me a break, eye-contact is not a measure of the woman’s sexual interest. Women force eye-contact because they want their existence to be acknowledged, they want to be seen and they want to be seen by other being desired by men.
October 3rd, 2014 at 2:07 am
Dude, I’m not an attractive guy, I actually see myself as a Quasimodo among these Scandinavian gods, and I never lack for ”attractive”(for most men, I guess) women staring and glancing, and playing with their hair and drawing attention to themselves, but that’s the thing. They probably do it to every john and dick, to either get attention or to have t he guy $$ on them.
My ”inner” game? LOL, I’ll hold eye-contact with women, I’ll even do it with men, doesn’t matter how tall he is or how stronger he is. Usually most men and women look down or to the side. I do it because its kinda funny how much bigger guys than me can’t hold eye-contact, i also have this angry look, I guess, and my body language is wide-legs apart and head pulled back and looking up. That ain’t game, bro. That ain’t Alpha male posture. That is me not being shy or afraid of occupying space.
October 3rd, 2014 at 7:04 am
How interesting. Well at least Roosh is getting rid of the right people now.
Hey, Roosh! Wanna come over for Thanksgiving? A couple days with us will have you right as rain. It is so beautiful here with the fall foliage and the crisp air. The waves are calling you…roosh, roosh… Course you should expect to be pressed into service doing some raking, but you can pick the dessert. And you should be warned we will be visiting the pet store as my daughter has been promised a hamster. lol Oh, and I think I found the girl for you. It may be my craziest idea yet.
October 3rd, 2014 at 7:31 am
jf12,
I was using strong as a synonym for dominant. And Adam did not tell her, “No”.
October 3rd, 2014 at 9:29 am
Adam undoubtedly did tell Eve not to eat or touch the fruit. You can’t build doctrine on what the Bible doesn’t say.
October 3rd, 2014 at 9:51 am
He ate the fruit. He didn’t tell her, “No”.
October 3rd, 2014 at 10:03 am
True. He decided to die with her. He knew what he was doing, but he was just too romantic.
But she had *already* eaten it despite being told no *before*. It isn’t the man (or God) being goodly strong, or goodly dominant, or goodly manly, that makes the woman do right. What works, unfortunately, is her fear and dread of him (and Him), that he would harm her, abandon her, etc.
October 3rd, 2014 at 10:11 am
He decided to die with her. He knew what he was doing, but he was just too romantic.
It does not say this. As you said, you cannot build doctrine from why the Bible doesn’t say.
What works, unfortunately, is her fear and dread of him,
I don’t disagree. But I think a man can be “goodly dominant” and still accomplish these things. Fear and dread are not only instilled by “bad” or evil.
As regards fear of Him, most often it is Men of the church that instill this fear in women. Not fear of God.
October 3rd, 2014 at 11:03 am
@professor,
“Dude, I’m not an attractive guy, I actually see myself as a Quasimodo among these Scandinavian gods”
Thanks for finally coming out with it, you have now said in essence, you don’t love yourself. Your self loathing is now completely in focus and it points to why you do not have any understanding of what Alpha actually is, never mind what it feels like to be there in those shoes, good looking or not. As long as you hate yourself, you will have that sickly Beta smell about you and your worldview will continue unabated as it is.
I too knew that feeling, some number of years ago. I am happy I was able to let go of it, forgive myself past problems and chart a course to a better life. I hope you can get some help to do the same. at that point your view of this may well change. Until then you are trapped in the bottom of a hole and will never see the wider world for what it is, rather just reflections of your own thoughts, fears and rationalizations.
October 3rd, 2014 at 12:14 pm
Love myself? What do you mean love myself? I admit that I look like a Quasimodo when compared with the people from the north of Europe. Sure, I might be ”attractive” in Southern Europe, but Southern Europe people look like gypsies and most of them can’t even hold down a job, and its not like they enjoy working at all.
I don’t have to hate myself to consider myself way below the best Europe has to offer. I’m just honest. Look, I know you people love exotic-looking women and all that, but Southern European women have very nasty personalities, are attention-whores, and turn into their mothers in personality and in looks by the time they turn 25. There are some decent Southern European women with a decent personality, but those have too many options and can date rich football players, not saying that there aren’t attractive Southern Euros a non-rich man can’t date, but its too much of an hassle, and frankly I’ve lived my entire life surrounded by people who look more like they’re Muslims than they are white. I’m done with that.
Nah man, i appreciate the attention, but I’m not depressed. Sometimes I feel a little down for not being part of the Giants from the North but hey, good food, great weather(tired as hell of heat and summer) and its nice to have a job.
October 3rd, 2014 at 12:29 pm
@Stingray re: “It does not say this.”
Actually it does. The discussion of these matters in 1 Timothy 2:11-14 maybe illuminating.
re: “Fear and dread are not only instilled by “bad” or evil.”
I used to think it was possible for women to reverence good men.
October 3rd, 2014 at 12:53 pm
jf12;
That Timothy passage appears to be talking about the original transgression of Eve being tempted. It doesn’t say anything about Adam’s temptation by Eve.
Adam was punished for listening to his wife. That was his sin. It doesn’t say why he did it.
October 3rd, 2014 at 1:10 pm
The story of Adam and Eve is an allegory. Why are we debating what “actually” happened in in this allegory?
This has no bearing on red pill conversations at all. Perhaps such a conversation would be better suited for a forum that hosts theological discussions.
October 3rd, 2014 at 1:52 pm
Apologies.