One of my Monday morning rituals is to check out Postsecret and peruse the week’s selection of postcard confessionals. A former co-worker turned me on to the voyeurism of this blog almost 6 years ago now. When I was first introduced to the blog and read each of these confessions (they’re not really secrets if you think about it) what struck me was the consistency and repetitions of certain themes. Granted, Postsecret selects for what’s going on seasonally so you’ll get family confessions around the holidays, sex confessions around Valentine’s Day, and the ubiquitous “my father was a no good sonofabitch” secrets around Father’s Day.
However, it’s during the off weeks, when there is no impending holiday or no important world events (like a mass shooting of innocent children) that the themes and regularity of confession really solidify when you pay attention. I’ve used a select few of these secrets as header pictures for a handful of my posts, but my secret is that I’ve made a habit of keeping tabs on a specific themes of postsecrets this year. So, from the selections I’ve collected below, see if you can figure out my secret themes,..
December 19th, 2012 at 11:52 am
Since we’re talking about secrets, this might be an interesting material for a follow-up post / discussion:
Sext Instagram account incites riot
“The Instagram account started when a user put out a call for tips on “sluts” in the area, and promised to keep tipsters anonymous…”
http://arstechnica.com/business/2012/12/sext-instagram-account-incites-riot/
Video of the Girl Trying To Escape:
December 19th, 2012 at 12:11 pm
Great discussion, but don’t think my main point has been refuted.
1) Main point: A money power status guy almost certainly is also Dark Triad to get where he is in life.
Dark Triad means he already has some “Game” going on – that’s assuming he already hasn’t devoured Game by 2013, 11 years after Mystery. Quite impossible since such a guy is at the far end of the ambition spectrum to begin with.
2) How long can we keep hoping that guys with Money Power and Status are somehow social rejects who are otherwise clueless dolts when it comes to women?
To amass Money Power and Status you almost certainly have Dark Triad traits, some kind – which means social intuition, social intelligence
3) YaReally always a great read: but it seems obvious that the X-Box Bum who Knows Game is NOT going to outperform the Money Power Status guy with some rare exceptions.
Such as: if you are Tyler from RSD, – sure you can be a bum and probably outpull a Hollywood celebrity right in front of him. But we are talking about one of the top 5 gamers on the planet, who has done 10,000 + approaches, who is a master of psychology.
But please explain to me how the women who are attracted to Money Power and Status guys (hard 8’s to 10’s) are seriously going to choose the X Box Bum over…. their boyfriend who has built companies with millions of dollars in Income Streams from scratch, who holds the pussy-tingling Power in his hands to make careers, break careers, who holds the Social Status as Head Alpha of his particular Pack so when he walks into certain rooms everyone feels it and people start literally acting differently…
Dark Triad: The Narcissism to believe he could do it, the Psychopathy to ruthlessly cut down anyone in his way, the Machiavellianism to WIN the inevitable political battles in such an ascent…
This is what we are talking about — yet we are supposed to assume these same men are clueless rubes with no Dark Triad traits
4) Finally we get to the famous trope of the “Trophy Wife Ignored By the Millionaire Conquering The World Who Is Getting Fucked by the Poolboy”
Yes – it’s “Lady Chatterly’s Lover”. The Poolboys of the World and the X-Box Bums of the World with Abs are actually scoring the hottest pussy.
These guys who are running the world, or running the little pocket of the world you’re in — these guys are actually pushover pansy betas who don’t know what to do with a woman.
Come on guys, seriously.
So, some good points in this thread, – but it’s time the Game community comes up with a more-inclusive paradigm based on reality
December 19th, 2012 at 12:50 pm
YaReally,
If you were a hermit before, I’m guessing you’re an introvert? If so, how did you go from that to being outgoing and social and chatting up strangers?
December 19th, 2012 at 1:02 pm
Rollo. you say don’t let it depress you, which typically I don’t, as I feel empowered by what I’ve learned, even though I still fail my share of shit tests. I’m fully open to all advice and crtique. that said, you say use it to my advantage. do you mean that we know where they’re coming from so we know how to use it against them/to our advantage? fyi I’ve read every post from the year one page at least twice, as well as dalrock, juggler, chateau, private man; m3 etc…so I have no illusions and a fairly good grasp of what we’re all dealing with. Your answers are appreciated.
December 19th, 2012 at 1:06 pm
@titanium
ain’t nothin to it but to do it. i sucked at approach. always thought i needed an “in” to start a convo. but just start doing it and it gets easier. like a snowball on a mountain that turns into an avalanche.
December 19th, 2012 at 1:32 pm
@Martel
This part of the seminar talks about merging sets and using pivots and comfort etc, but with MM his view OF pickup is that basically the entire bar is one big set, so Group Theory is sort of mixed into all of his stuff as opposed to just having a very separate “how to shmooze the manager of a bar” section, you know?:
I recommend watching all the MM clips (that’s Part 4, I think there’s 5 parts), because a lot of the stuff that works on women, works on men too. Men respond to social proof (lonely old man comes up to you and says hi, old man with 4 Playboy models comes up to you and says hi, who do you assume is higher value?), comfort/rapport building (figuring out what their values are and mirroring them back to him, being authentic/honest, sharing vulnerabilities/commonalities, making confident eye contact, etc.)…there’s a hook point (the point where they go from not caring if you leave to enjoying the interaction and not waiting for you to leave) with guys just like there is with girls and mixed sets. And once you cross the hook point you can build comfort/rapport and lead the conversation towards qualifying them, etc.
so basically you’re running a lot of the same stuff one-on-one stuff on the guys that you are on the girls (not kino, lol), and to GET to that one-on-one situation you use external Game tactics (social proof, pivots, merging sets, etc.), depending on how high value the guy is. If he’s just a random Nice Guy dude in a mixed set, you can just be like “Hey man how’s your night, these girls are gorgeous hey?” and he’s happy to chit-chat with you and boom, you’re his new BFF for the night and he introduces you to his girls.
If the guy is super high value, like a Rollo at one of his liquor promo events where his time is taken up by all the attention he’s getting and he’s very clearly the highest value person in the room, you need to bust out more tactics to get on his radar. It’s the same as an average girl VS a smokin hot turbo girl surrounded by 10 guys…you can just say “Hey, what’s up?” to the average girl, and that MIGHT work on the smokin hot turbo girl, but better would be to roll up to the turbo girl with 2 girls on your arms laughing and then dropping a Neg on her as you pass by, know what I mean?
So here’s some mental masturbation for how I would work one of Rollo’s events (except it’s not mental masturbation because I’ve actually done this kind of thing, more than once, lol I usually follow a gameplan similar to this but you have to tweak it for the situation of course):
If I walked in solo, I’d start from the bottom and work my way up. Open and befriend a bunch of easy sets, merge them with eachother to be the social connector (if two sets are merged by someone, the person with the highest value in that new large set is the guy who connected them because both sets assume he must know everyone in the other group of strangers they’ve just met) and use them as social proof and pivots to work my way up to the hotter girls in the bar. I’d keep an eye on who Rollo talks to and figure out which of them are close to him and which are random acquaintences and I’d approach them instead of him directly (same way you get to a turbo girl, open her friends instead of bee-lining it for her which makes her think you want something).
Building comfort/etc. with his acquaintences (if they’re women, innocently flirt with and flatter them, if they’re men, introduce them to women I’ve met that night), eventually I’d end up in Rollo’s vicinity and onto his radar. Ideally I’d have one of his closer acquaintences I’ve been building comfort with introduce me to him (“Oh is THAT Rollo? I love this event, I wanted to say hi to him but he’s running around so much I haven’t gotten a chance.” which generally results in an “Oh come with me, I’ll introduce you!”). Now I’m getting intoduced to him, maybe with a hottie on my arm, through one of his close acquaintances (social proof, pre-selection, being recommended by one of his social circle etc. are all packed into my introduction now) and he’s probably noticed me doing my thing at points throughout the night and, as far as he knows, I know a ton of people at his event because I’ve been chatting with people and twirling girls around on the dance floor etc…Much better than just making a bee-line from the door as an annonymous nobody and going directly up to him looking to take value which COULD work and he might be friendly because it’s his event, but would probably put him on his guard and keep me at arm’s length and I have bigger goals in mind than just scoring a promo drink off him.
Once I get to him (lol like getting to the boss in a videogame after levelling up, working a room really is similar to that), and introduce him to a girl or two that I’ve met that night, I figure out what his values and our commonalities are (not hard to figure out based on the event we’re at and the conversations I’ve had with people who know him etc.) and I start building a connection with him. From here, ideally I isolate him from the group (lol, this sounds so gay I know) because people bond better with some alone time together, but this can be as simple as grabbing a drink at the bar with him or whatever, I just need a few minutes where we’re talking directly to eachother. DHV a bit, be a fun guy, joke around with the bartender as we get a drink (who ideally I’ve met earlier in the night when I was building up my value), and basically be an all-around cool social high-value guy.
He’ll have shit to do mingling and all that, obviously, so I know I only get a few minutes, but generally manager types will give me their card at this point and offer to hook me up etc. because it looks like I’m the kind of guy they want at their events and that I can probably bring people, etc. (ie – I bring value instead of take it). From this point on that night, I’m about as high value as he is, or slightly less, because he thinks I’m cool but I’m not a close friend yet. That’s enough for that event though, I can use the value I’ve got now with pretty much any chick at the event.
But to play it long-term, I’ll shoot him a txt the next day congratulating him on the event, saying I had a great time, and because it’s Rollo probably mentioning I got laid to make him laugh. He saves my # and the next event I’m out at, I invite him out, or when he’s doing his “invite all the event type people out” invites he has to do as part of his business networking he invites me out. When I show up I make sure to come say hi to him and shoot the shit for a bit (usually if they own the club we’re in they’ll buy me a shot/drinks here, but they do that for all the regulars so I know I have to make an effort to shoot the shit about something relevant to them and build some comfort). Over the course of a few events I don’t necessarily become one of his close friends (though you never know, sometimes you just click with people solid and end up hanging out outside the bar scene, or if I threw a good party or something he might show up as we got to know eachother), but I at least become a guy that he looks forward to seeing.
At THAT point when I walk into his event, he goes “YaReally!! Hey man! Glad you made it, how’s it going?” and shakes my hand “I want you to meet Such and Such” and I get introduced via him and everyone around us (staff, girls, etc.) sees I know the most important guy in the room and how happy he is to see me, and now I basically look higher value than him since he’s so eager to introduce me around, so I MUST be high value. If we DO build a friendship outside of the bar scene as well, then I become a close friend and become even higher value when I show up because now I’m his good buddy dropping in.
So ya, that’s what I’d do. Like I say, I know that’s what I’d do because I’ve done it before lol It sounds like a lot of work to read all this, but when you logically look at what’s involved in it, 1) the only money I NEED to spend is whatever it costs to attend the event (usually like $10 club cover, or more for a larger ticketed event), 2) the majority of it only takes me like 2-4 hours at the first main event then some after-care, 3) I don’t even need massive seduction skills for most of it, just general social and comfort/rapport skills, 4) I don’t need to have money, a job, a car, etc. for any of it, just charisma and understanding Game, 5) it’s all fun, I get to meet a ton of people and probably come out of it with a bunch of cool stories…
But most importantly 6) It’s sure as shit easier/faster/cheaper than starting a line of liquor brands and running a promo event or buying and managing a nightclub etc. :)
December 19th, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Status is not difficult to achieve and it doesn’t require becoming a household name for it to have an effect.
Practicing game can get you laid. Improving your social status as a whole and banking cash will give you the ability to live life on your terms. Money allows you can enjoy your hobbies, travel, and live wherever you want. Social status makes good things come to you with very little effort.
You learned how to talk your want into women’s pants and you think got the key to the universe. There’s a whole other world out there beyond pussy. If your only goal in life is to get laid, then yea, it’s a lot easier to learn game and call it a day. More power to ya. Personally I would rather use a little game knowledge I pick up along the way but concentrate my time on building a well rounded life.
Not to mention that as a male with testosterone flowing through your veins it is in your nature to amass resources. It is healthy and if done properly it will make you happier.
I’m glad that Rollo understands where I am coming from. All you have to do is mention money and everyone gets their panties in a wad and accuses you of saying shit you didn’t say. Ego investments run deep.
December 19th, 2012 at 2:07 pm
P.S. One other thing to note about that strategy I wrote up above is that no part of it requires any kind of superhuman magic powers. If you break down what I’m doing through out, literally all I’m doing is causally chatting some people up in a friendly way, getting to know them a bit, and introducing them to eachother. There’s no “oh I could never do that” magic ninja tricks in there. I’m just doing it in a very strategic manner, and applying Game tactics to help out (like comfort to connect with guys, and teasing/kino to flirt with girls, etc.). It’s all just basic game applied strategically with a purpose/goal.
@Lucky White Male
“2) How long can we keep hoping that guys with Money Power and Status are somehow social rejects who are otherwise clueless dolts when it comes to women?”
They don’t have to be social rejects. They just have to be not as socially savvy as someone who, while they were socializing 4 hours every couple weeks with all their work to do, was socializing 20 hours a week every week.
I only have to be 1% higher value than the other guy for a girl’s Hypergamy to start kicking in. The higher % I am, the higher it kicks in.
“but it seems obvious that the X-Box Bum who Knows Game is NOT going to outperform the Money Power Status guy with some rare exceptions.”
It SEEMS that way, because you don’t go out enough, and don’t know enough MPS guys and X-Box Bums and don’t watch this dynamic play out all the fucking time lol You are in a fantasy land. The MPS guy can totally out-do the X-Box guy, it’s just that 1) MPS guys are so rare to begin with that it’s really as silly as worrying about a nuclear bomb, and 2) the X-Box guy just has way more experience with seduction…being a friendly powerful guy doesn’t mean you know how to get a pussy wet.
“their boyfriend who has built companies with millions of dollars in Income Streams from scratch, who holds the pussy-tingling Power in his hands to make careers, break careers, who holds the Social Status as Head Alpha of his particular Pack so when he walks into certain rooms everyone feels it and people start literally acting differently… ”
Ya, that guy’s super. And how many of those guys do you think are out there? You could go out for a year and meet maybe 5 of them max. They’re statistically so irrellevant that it’s ridiclous to even be concerned with. Sure, you could work your ass off your entire life to try to become that guy, and that’s awesome, good luck with that, but I think I’ll just be a normal guy who knows how to Game and can outdo the other 99.9999% of the guys at the bar who aren’t this magical Superman you’re stressing.
“but it’s time the Game community comes up with a more-inclusive paradigm based on reality”
Maybe it’s time you went out more. Like, I’m not trying to be a dick, but this is complete mental masturbation. Go out this Friday and tell me how many millionaire dark triad entrepreneur badasses with millions in income streams making and breaking careers you meet.
@Titanium
“If you were a hermit before, I’m guessing you’re an introvert?”
Yup. Socializing actually takes a lot out of me, especially now that I’m older. My default “state” is to just be chilling quietly people-watching…but over time I’ve learned that socializing IS fun, and I love having random stories from my adventures. So I kind of look at it like Skydiving. It’s exhausting and tiring and doing it every single day would take a lot out of me, but it’s a thrill and a rush and exciting so it’s not like a chore or anything negative even if my natural “state” is sitting on my couch at home watching TV lol
“If so, how did you go from that to being outgoing and social and chatting up strangers?”
It was a fuckton of work lol The reality is that everyone is an introvert/extrovert to different degrees, but we like to pick an Identity and then hide behind it. “Ohhh, going out and talking to girls is scary, and I’m naturally quiet, so I’m an Introvert. You guys don’t understand, this is way harder for me because I’m an Introvert. You guys are Extroverts so you can do this, it’s not possible for me, I’m an Introvert” and we make up bullshit excuses not to get out of our comfort zone and push ourselves into new experiences.
You are whatever you’re doing. If you spend the week being lazy and unproductive you can’t say “I’m a productive person. I was lazy this week, but that’s not really me, I’m productive.” It’s like no, THAT week, you were an unproductive person. This week you can be a productive one, if you do productive things, so do productive things. If you go out and socialize with people and learn to enjoy it and have fun with it, you’re a social person. You have the ability to change your Identity at any time with your actions.
Sure, if you’re not naturally inclined to be chatting and be around people, it’s tougher…but fuck, no one said this shit was easy lol Guys looking for a quick fix are the ones that become bitter anti-game haters, because they tried fora few months and didn’t get anywhere and gave up. I blame the PUA marketing for creating that mentality though…back when PUA was still underground and there wasn’t really any marketing because there weren’t really any bootcamps or anything, we all went in with the understanding that this was a life-long project we were taking on. Like, we knew it would be YEARS+ of work to get this shit handled, let alone mastered.
The thing about being an Introvert is that when you don’t know HOW to socialize and you have no reference experiences of success at it etc. etc. of COURSE socializing sucks and you want to stay an Introvert and going out and chatting people up feels like punching yourself in the balls repeatedly. But if you stick it out and get good at it…I mean, Friday night rolls around now and I get antsy if I DON’T go out. Because the weekend before I went out, made out with a couple 18yos, grabbed a number of some cutie, had some funny conversations with people, made a couple new friends, the manager of a bar bought me a shot, and my buddy and I took a couple chicks home to bang and we all got McDonald’s in the morning and laughed about the night before. So why would I NOT want to go out, if shit like that is waiting for me out there?
That’s why you gotta’ push through the pain and really dedicate yourself to it. The rewards are worth it down the road. The old hermit me couldn’t even IMAGINE he could live this lifestyle. Like it was for other people, those smooth player guys who were just born being good with girls, etc. etc. I had all the same bullshit beliefs every other AFC Nice Guy Introvert has. This is part of why I’m so passionate about it, PUA fucks some guys up but for me it was life-changing. :)
@twan
“ain’t nothin to it but to do it.”
lol, or that. Fuck I write too much lol
December 19th, 2012 at 2:09 pm
@Good Luck Chuck
“If your only goal in life is to get laid, then yea, it’s a lot easier to learn game and call it a day.”
Your problem is that you look at Game through a very narrow lens and don’t see the potential in what it can do for the rest of the areas of your life. Think on it. :)
December 19th, 2012 at 2:14 pm
@Good Luck Chuck
Your message is to focus on career and money. Career and money mean fuck all today. Women have money and career, they want excitement in men. If you don’t provide that it’s curtains for you.
I live in the DMV (DC-Maryland-Virginia) area and everybody has money and career, a lot of young professionals don’t have any quality ass what so ever. If they do have a girlfriend, they are a nagging, bitchy chubby SWPL narcissist.
Most of these men have no Game. They are feminized blue pill suckers. Their job and money mean nothing to attractive. They are pre-requisities. It’s assumed you have a money and career. I’m sorry man, Game is the thing lacking in middle/upper-mid class men today. It’s the missing piece of the puzzle.
Career and money will not get you ass. I’m sorry it will not. It might get you a post wall woman looking for marriage though. Hoo-rayy!!!!!!!!!
December 19th, 2012 at 2:41 pm
Fellas, I don’t know Chuck from a hole in a slut, but what I interpreted from his posts is that, in waaaaaay more words, he’s just advocating having options. Now it’s entirely possible that I missed something because fuck me if I read every word you guys wrote on my shit ass galaxy s 1. That said, it seems to me that the points you guys are arguing actually run parallel to each other.
completely random: I work in intelligence and when girls ask me to explain, and I tell them I can’t, I can actually hear the tingles. Discuss.
December 19th, 2012 at 2:51 pm
@Twan
I think it’s my own personal environment that influences my view. Everybody has some type of fancy job with money, so status is just kind of ‘meh’ to me and most importantly women.
Now true Game and how to use it. Just the social dynamics in general and how to manipulate an environment, that my friend is a true eye opener. As killing off the equalitarian liberal menality and adopting a go for broke alpha don’t give a fuck, crash and burn mindset that’s heady stuff for me. That’s what intrigues me.
December 19th, 2012 at 3:03 pm
YaReally,
Thanks for the reply. I hear ya on breaking through the comfort zone. So how long did it take from to go from pre-PUA to now? You’re talking merging sets, pivots, etc. which is advanced-level PUA.
December 19th, 2012 at 5:04 pm
@Titanium
I was a pretty hardcase fuckup. A lot of my first year or so was just fixing up my social akwardness lol I got laid a bunch that year because I executed Game like the literature told me to, but I was completely flying by the seat of my pants “fake it till you make it” style. There were a lot of “omg I can’t believe this is working, omg I can’t believe we’re having sex” etc. moments that year lol I would spend all my free time all week long reading about Game and then all weekend applying it. And for a good chunk of the year I was going out 4-6 nights a week even, and doing day game, etc..
I’m about 8 years in, but I had enough skill for a decent dating/sex life by the 2nd or 3rd year. I could’ve slowed it down there and been happy enough, but I enjoy the game and I love the psychology of it all and the difference in my life 3 years in compared to where I started was so phenomenal that I wanted to see how much better I could get, so to me it’s like someone who likes hitting the gym. Most people would be fine just being “not fat”, but some people like to go try to get themselves a set of abs. :)
But just like working out, once you get those abs you don’t have to hit the gym 24/7 like when you had to lose 300lbs, you can tone it down and just maintain it. I only go out to work on my game a couple nights a week now (not counting nights I spend with girls, I mean like going to the bar and approaching sets) because I’m more focused on work at the moment and I have an open relationship with an LTR (2 years in) and enough fuckbuddies that I’m satisfied with my romantic life. When I started I wasn’t far off from where that “Confessions of a former incel” guy was, so the old hermit me would be mind-blown if he could see what he’d turn into lol
December 19th, 2012 at 9:56 pm
I’ve made a few new friends recently, which i consider to be lesser alphas and have been trying to explain female solipsism and social conventions very carefully and intelligently to them and its funny to see how their responses of general shock of truth and agreeableness is always the same. As if i magically put into words all their convoluted thoughts about women before them. many of them probably too afraid to let themselves think certain thoughts that they KNOW they would be immediately branded as a mysoginist for….even by other men….
thats what i think this post is about. female solipsism.
and on a scarier note. i only know ONE true functioning super alpha. (i live in NYC btw) anyone else who could be considered as such is either in jail or some kind of psycho. besides that, most alphas i know (im talking about guys that rake in QUALITY tail very often) are more than partially affected negatively by the feminine imperative.
the matrix is strong. no man is truly immune
December 21st, 2012 at 3:08 pm
The only theme: sneaky, sneaky hypergamy.
December 22nd, 2012 at 7:23 am
“With the iPhone you can send text messages using the Apple iMessage, which goes through Apple servers not the cell company servers. …
All that is gone with the iPhone. No paper trail for cheaters.”
Endearingly naive. All your texting is saved for the purposes of law and order and all that, and Apple won’t stand up to the NSA, FBI or whoever else. Was Petraeus that long ago? … Apple probably also keep that shit forever for their own purposes, just like they track your location and save the trail for a rainy day.
So that’s how modern life works. The interesting part about this situation is … what if you could subpoena your dear ex’s texts? And location information.
December 22nd, 2012 at 7:36 am
“From experience, I’ve learned that women will definitely pay attention when you have a position of power and money. They just won’t necessarily sleep with you. Anyone can take a woman on an expensive vacation or buy her things. Closing the deal is a different matter.”
Testify, especially if we’re talking winning competitions or status of some sort. It’s basically lead gen, stretching into unusual places. However, closing can be easier than you’d expect too, particularly if you came up from hard times … Social proof, it’s a hell of a drug.
December 22nd, 2012 at 8:59 am
That swedish riot was a laff, by the way. The fear of judgement is powerful, we should learn to use it.
December 22nd, 2012 at 1:18 pm
Spearking of secrets, this is interesting:
http://host.madison.com/wsj/news/local/suzy-favor-hamilton-cites-depression-as-reason-she-led-double/article_94b41926-4ad5-11e2-9413-001a4bcf887a.html
December 23rd, 2012 at 12:06 am
I see four themes: cheating, man poaching, maternity fraud, and paternity fraud. Am I right Rollo??
December 25th, 2012 at 11:16 am
HuffPost brings an interesting secret mainstream. A married woman confesses she has a ‘boyfriend’ and it just kind of ‘happened.’ According to the authoress, the issue at hand is not “should we judge this woman, but ‘should she tell her husband?’
http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/148635/sex_confession_i_have_a
And the rabbit hole keeps going down.
December 27th, 2012 at 12:40 am
I’m actually a huge fan of post secrets.
It allows me to realize how much I shouldn’t trust people
April 30th, 2014 at 5:07 am
Hi Rollo, excuse the necro-post, but if you really wanna wrap your canoodle around some craziness, check this site out: http://twitter.com/tinderfessions
Post Secret is tame compared to tinderfessions.