Up the Alpha

As expected the Alpha to Beta trait dichotomy was inferred from Last weeks post courtesy of commenter Ad Fortitudo:

Do you disagree with Athol Kay that the best option for a woman is a man with both alpha and beta traits?

That is to say, wouldn’t a man with great genes/physicality/confidence as well as financial stability and kindness be the “perfect man” for a woman?

Wouldn’t that satisfy both her short term and long term mating strategies?

I get the sense that it is in absence of men that have both traits that women seek out these different qualities in separate men under short and long term circumstances.

I covered this a long while ago in Schedules of Mating and as recently as Your Friend Menstruation. This want for the perfect amalgam of hot Alpha and parentally invested Beta is literally hard-coded into women’s brains and endocrine system. From the most rudimentary level, the conflict that  hypergamy instills in women is due to this want of fusing together the arousing Alpha with the attractive Beta in the same man. Thus was women’s pluralistic sexual strategy evolved.

The problem that confounds hypergamy is that the arousing Alpha and the attractive Beta rarely exist in the same male, at the same time and at the most opportune time for women to appreciate and capitalize on it. By this I mean that as women proceed through their peak SMV years, they place higher priorities and higher mating value upon predominately Alpha traits. These are the ‘fuck me now’ party years, and Alpha seed far out-values Beta need. As I wrote in Schedules of Mating, on a macro level this translates into a proactive form of cuckoldry. Even if it doesn’t result in a pregnancy, the latent urgency in a woman’s peak is to ‘get the seed first, find the provider later’ (i.e. protracted cuckoldry).

The fantasy for women of course is to ‘tame the savage Alpha’ and convert him into a parentally invested partner by encouraging Beta traits in him as he matures, and hopefully prospers. Many a thwarted single mommy knows the unfortunate outcome of attempting to ‘fix’ their Bad Boy Alpha into the Good Dad Father, but this is the emphasis assuming a woman pauses long enough to invest in one particular Alpha during her peak years. The base schema is to maintain that hot Alpha arousal, while developing him into a more attractive Beta provider.

As a woman approaches the downturn of her SMV that hypergamic urgency shifts to favor Beta providership traits as the prospect of long term security alters the priorities of her hypergamy. Now the script changes to one favoring the nice, dependable, and necessarily resourceful man with all the attractive features she needs for a commitment to long term security. It’s not that she doesn’t still become aroused by the physicality and charisma of a predominately Alpha male (particularly in her proliferate menstrual phase), but she is more aware of the balance between her lessened ability to attract that man (post-Wall) and the need to pair-bond with a man who can provide for her and her offspring. Women will mitigate this arousal-attraction imbalance with their own forms of pornography or self-initialized rationalization about their ‘deeper maturity’, but in essence the doubt that hypergamy seeds in them has to be held in check either through self-repression or by dread of loss.

The fantasy for women in this instance is the hope that their predominately Beta partner will “Man Up”, Just Get It on his own and develop more arousing Alpha traits as he matures. The base schema here is to maintain the sweet Beta provider attraction, while developing him into a more arousing Alpha as her needs demand.

Beta with a Side of Alpha

The inimitable Geisha Kate then helps solidify this analysis of her ‘Perfect Man’:

Great point. That ^ is the true manicorn. That is what I mean when I say I’ll take a “greater beta with fries.”

Be careful what you pray for Kate, the women (and Manboobz) who kvetch about the ‘overly sensitive men’ they committed to probably wished for the same. In fact I’d argue that the majority of married men now looking to Athol Kay for insight believed they were Greater Betas with a side of Alpha.

Kate’s in a  stage of life when the Beta providership male makes far better practical sense to pair off with. Just like Aunt Giggles, her definition of attraction and ‘a good relationship’ is biased by the personal conditions of her present SMP valuation. She understands this from her age, SMV and necessity perspective, but this undoubtedly wasn’t her perspective when she was in the prime of her SMV years.

This is the ‘build-a-better-beta‘ paradox:

The overarching  point is to create a more acceptable man for a female defined goal, NOT to truly empower any man. There is no feminine opposite to this; there is no counter effort to make women more acceptable to men – in fact this is actively resisted and cast as a form of slavish subservience. This is the extent of the feminine reality; it’s so instaurating that men, with the aid of  “concerned women”, will spend lifetimes seeking ways to better qualify themselves for feminine approval. That’s the better Beta they hope to create. One who will Man-Up and be the Alpha as situations and use would warrant, but Beta enough to be subservient to the feminine imperative. They seek a man to be proud of, one who’s association reflects a statement of their own quality, yet one they still have implicit control over.

Whether the reasonings are moral, entitlement or ‘honor bound’ in nature the end result is still feminine primacy. The sales pitch is one of manning up to benefit yourself, but the latent purpose is one of better qualifying for normalized feminine acceptance. What they cannot reconcile is that the same benefits that are inherent in becoming more Alpha (however you choose to define that) are the same traits that threaten his necessary position of subservience as a Beta. This is precisely why ‘real’ Game, and truly unplugging, cannot be sanitized. This social element wants to keep you plugged in; more Alpha, more confidence, more awareness, is a threat to fem-centrism. “It’s great that all this Game stuff has finally got you standing up for yourself, but remember who’s got the vagina.

I have a lot of respect for Athol, and not so much for Aunt Giggles, but the problem I see with both of their approaches in balancing Alpha with Beta is that they begin from a fem-centric origin. Athol seems to have the better take of the two, but by and large the men seeking his advice are Beta men who’ve been red-pill enlightened to the fact that they need to up the Alpha – presuming they had an Alpha element to start.

Aunt Giggles simply wants a Beta, who’s an Alpha of a woman’s convenience. Aunt Sue had a grand mal seizure orgasm when she’d thought Roissy was actually advocating that men genuinely become more Beta. She force fit it to comply with her build-a-better-beta narrative (CH suggests using Beta as an in-context Game tactic), but it only better illustrates her latent imperatives about a post-Wall, fem-centrically defined preference for Beta with a side of Alpha.

There is no side of Alpha. The conflict both Kate and Giggles don’t grasp is that Alpha demands dominance, and this doesn’t fit very well with the feminine imperative’s false religion of equalism. Athol understand this with his Captain and First Officer analogy; in any relationship one partner is the dominant personality, the other the submissive. Even homosexual couples recognize this order, but the women and men of the feminine Matrix resist this with the delusion of an equalist utopia amongst the genders.

So when I read about a desire for achieving some balance of Alpha to Beta traits in the ‘perfect man’ I realize that this is an extension of this feminine-primary equalist want for balance amongst the genders; which really equates to women wanting a perfected security. In their need for control (dominance) they want hypergamy definitively settled in the perfect man, for the perfect occasion, and at every stage of their SMV maturation. Men, mangina sympathizers or otherwise, are simply the means to that end. That end may be with the perfect husband, or via cuckolding or through fem-side pornography, or any other methodology women’s sexual pluralism will help her invent.

Up the Alpha

I’ve written this before, but it bears repeating: for men wanting to change their lives and relationships, working up from Beta to Alpha is a far tougher road to hoe that tempering Alpha dominance with a personalized touch of Beta. As bad as Hugo Schwyzer is in his abject feminization, have a read of a few of the female commenters in this article. How many of the simpering, socially conditioned, Betatized men these women seeth about would make for believable Alphas once they had a red pill epiphany? It is precisely because of this impressionistic, binary solipsism that women will never be happy with ‘fixing’ their Beta. This is why he has to Just Get It on his own.

It is a far better proposition to impress a woman with an organic Alpha dominance – Alpha can only be a man’s dominant personality origin. There is no Beta with a side of Alpha because that side of Alpha is NEVER believable when your overall perception is one of being Beta to begin with. This is why I stress Alpha traits above all else. It’s easy, and endearing to ‘reveal’ a flash of Beta sensitivity when a woman perceives you as predominantly Alpha. If your personality is predominantly Beta, any sporadic flashes of Alpha will seem like emotional tantrums at best, character flaws at worst.

Women may love the Beta, but they only respect the Alpha.


134 responses to “Up the Alpha

  • E.J.

    I love Rollo’s blogs and the comment section. Thanks everyone.

  • xsplat

    Brendan, I understand that people are different – often very different, and what’s more we can be very different throughout different stages in our lives.

    But when I hear the question “why bother”, I want to reply. It’s not a rhetorical question.

    I think if that question is going to be asked, it deserves an inspiring response. There are very good reasons to bother with learning how to be expert at dealing with women. It can greatly improve life satisfaction.

    It’s a hobby that builds upon itself. A kid might ask why bother with piano lessons. He doesn’t realize that step by step his enjoyment will grow, and it will enable him to eventually widen his social circle to include other other musicians to jam with, that he’ll eventually enjoy a creative play of composing, both on the spot with others, and in private contemplative moments. He doesn’t realize the world of opportunities that will unfold over the years.

    Dealing with women is like that. It’s a slow gradual process that is cumulative and changes who it is who asks the question. And I’m not talking about attracting women to have sex with. I’m talking about a much deeper and more fulfilling relationship to women, as companions, friends, but most of all as devoted love slaves.

    Why bother with math? Ask the bridge engineer. At the beginning levels it’s just an imposition, but after years of dealing with the subject in your daily life, you internalize the skills and internalize them in order to create and deal with things of beauty. You’d consider yourself impoverished without them.

    But the thing with these skill sets is that they have a snowball effect – they grow through momentum. And it’s really a lifestyle devoted to testosterone and dominance. It’s a hobby that affects the personality at very deep levels. The you who wonders why bother is a very different you from the one who knows the answer.

    And for guys who say that you’ve been there and done that already – really? You’ve been successfully in love in caring relationships where you had hand and the woman was your devoted love slave? And you did that well and knew you could replicate that easily at any time – because you had replicated it over and over? Been there and done THAT?

  • 141

    The perfect man for a woman is a father figure. You need to make it clear that you’re the boss, and you don’t worry about her feelings until you hurt them. When you hurt them, then you can get sensitive and console her.

    If you’re hopelessly beta and blue pill, marry someone 10 years younger so it’s easy for you to treat her like a child.

  • ssdon

    Wesley Dabney…that is bang on what you are saying here man.

    ‘When you finally let go of the past, something better comes along’ and oh boy have I had some weird messed up GF’s in the past who themsleves have brought emotional baggage into the relationship. BPD’s galore..some great in bed, some not, some (minus their issues) would be great LTR’s for sure. Yes I’ve made mistakes, life didn’t come with instructions’ and have picked the wrong ones for sure but on the flip side I have learnt a hell of alot (I am 43, no kids, not married, house, job, great lifestyle) so I can pick and choose who the hell I want. As Rollo say’s..’women are damged goods for you now’ so I will continue to sample as freely as I want.

  • siquaeris

    A lot that Mark said bears repeating, but I’m going to just take one of them:

    “They will never love you as you love them. Their love is opportunistic and conditional.”

    Men don’t want to believe this. They think women love like they do but most women do not. Once you realize that your wife’s love and commitment is conditional, you also realize that your marriage isn’t the rock that you thought it was.

    Does this mean you shouldn’t get married ever? Not necessarily, but even if you want kids, marriage is not necessary. A woman in your life can be wonderful, but you should never make the mistake of believing it will stay this way. In probably 95% of all marriages, the woman gets resentful. Sometimes it happens in the first few years, sometimes it takes 10 years, but it almost always happens and it’s nearly impossible to fix once you get there.

    So you end up in a marriage with a resentful wife and you either get divorced or have a miserable home life until you die. That is what marriage is for the vast majority of men. They find ways to make it tolerable through hobbies and/or their bonds with other men. Do you really want to have life be simply tolerable?

    If you accept reality – that no woman will love you in the same capacity that you can love them – you can make your relationship enjoyable because you no longer have this expectation that cannot be fulfilled.

    You should always know that your relationship might end at any moment, and you should never be afraid to be the one to end your relationship. This also means that you need to structure your finances and make decisions about children carefully, because there will be significant impact when your relationship ends. If you are not careful, it will cause you to be trapped in the relationship. I use the word ‘relationship’ because men really should be more careful about getting married… although if you really know what you’re getting into, then marriage can be a reasonable decision for some men.

    I don’t want to suggest that men should not have kids. Kids are great, but you have to realize that you will probably pay child support and not see them as much as you’d like if things end. That’s OK, though, because kids can be worth it. The most important thing, if you do have kids, is to not be afraid of what happens if the relationship ends.

    Nobody likes divorce or breakups, and you should want your relationship to last, but you cannot allow yourself to be fearful of it ending or else you will end up as a miserable old man. Believe me, this fear not only causes misery for the man, but makes him unattractive to his partner also. When you live life for yourself without this fear, you make life better for those around you. It sounds like a paradox, but it’s not.

  • Highlander

    Well, when it comes to marriage you have a 50/50 shot at best and chances are also slim that you will the one that will file for divorce. If you do manage to weather the storm for 20 years or so your wife will hit menopause, have a midlife crisis and dump your ass, as close to 70% of women do.

    I was married for 24 years in a relatively conflict free marriage to a woman who up until six months before we split used to call me at work at least once a day just to make small talk. It is amazing to behold how cold and distant they can become once another target appears, like there was never any love at all. The woman who could not wait to marry you, has your children and spends a half a life with you in the space of a couple of months can turn into someone who now looks at you as less than a stranger.

    In regards to my marriage, I did everything many here espouse, I didn’t get married until after a high notch count at age 34, married a very low notch girl 11 years younger, who was from a family with a long history of marital bliss. Still, it all came apart and I’ve had over a year to dissect the whole thing since then. I’ve come to many of the same conclusions as Mark has, women fundamentally do not love in the same way as a man or as deeply, there man be some that do, I’ve not run into many that had other options or opportunity.

  • Wesley Dabney

    guys.. women’s central emotion is love.. not opportunism… if a woman sees you as a means to an end.. that isn’t love and you are obviously with the wrong person. a healthy woman will love you for who you are and in my case my g/f loves me despite who i am. never met one like her and i was bitter just like you guys until i realized she truly loves me for me. i feel for you guys but it isn’t as hopeless as it looks.

  • xsplat

    I like the conclusions that you have come to Siquaeris.

    Given the facts, how do we make the best of them? You seem to be saying that with some internal adjustments, we can adapt and thrive and still create intimacy.

    It’s just not going to be what we originally hoped for.

    But that’s not so bad. We are white skinned men of northern lands, after all, and it’s in our blood to deal with the changing of seasons. A woman isn’t a retirement plan.

  • siquaeris

    @Wesley

    I disagree that a woman’s central emotion is love. I don’t think it’s all that helpful to try and identify their central emotion either, because what men need to realize is that women simply react to their feelings.

    This is different from men… men react to their external environment with rational thought. Men don’t let their feelings make decisions and run their lives the way women do. I think this is why many men have such a hard time understanding women – they are very often not rational creatures.

    A woman may love her children unconditionally, but not her man. In addition to often being a status symbol, her man is there to protect and support her, and to generate the feelings she wants within her. Once these conditions are not sufficiently met, a woman will lose her attraction for her man.

    My gf loves me too, but it’s not unconditional, and I don’t expect it to last, so I try to enjoy it in the moment. When it ends, it will be just another story in my life that has reached its conclusion.

  • Wesley Dabney

    @siquaeris,
    men are emotional too. when i see guys here hating on women.. it isn’t their rational, logical side doing that. it’s the pain they’ve been caused talking. i have much sympathy for them.

    we can disagree all you want but that won’t make it any less true. a healthy woman’s central emotion is love. if you return that love to her, she will love you back and be faithful. no alpha can crack that connection. however, most men today have been so damaged by the sexual market place they are incapable of showing a woman the love they need to commit resulting in what you see today. women can sense when a man holds back and will act accordingly. remember that.

    i used to teach college age students at an army school called BOLC (google it). this new generation of young male army officers are some of the most demoralized, broken young men i’ve ever seen. i had to have classes after school to teach them about alpha, beta, and gamma qualities and how they effect their lives. they had never seen it before and most of them responded well but some were so broken they just wanted to get back on their phone and browse the internets. the females in the class showed an open and palpable disdain for them. these males need a lot of help to mold themselves in to a type of man that earns a woman’s love and respect.

    everyone has different needs based on our developmental processes from our upbringing so i’m not going to try and tell you what is right for you.. however, if “unconditional” means so much to you, then perhaps you are with the wrong woman. there are women, such as my gf, that love unconditionally. my dad treated my mom like shit over 52 years of marriage before he died.. she was by his side like a loyal puppy dog the whole time.

    i had a hard childhood. i have ptsd and anger management issues. my g/f makes more money than me.. etc etc.. according to many here.. she’s prime bait to be taken away from me by someone with higher status. however, she has proven to me that won’t happen. i put her through hell and she stayed by my side. i got lucky though and i know that.

  • Lugov

    @Twan

    it’s nice to finally see some israeli members on the red pill team. I’ve been in the manosphere for roughly 2 years now but have never encountered a single guy from israel who knows rollo, heartiste and such. is there an israeli manosphere or at least forums? (and not those cheap israeli PUA forums…)

  • E.J.

    Guys like Wesley Dabney have to learn the hard way. To each his own.

    I love how both examples he gives involve men who treated their women like shit, further proving what everyone’s been saying here.

  • Wesley Dabney

    E.J.
    if you assume i haven’t learned the hard way.. you are a fool. i’ve been divorced more than once and took a long time off to learn what i was doing wrong. if you believe that women are driven only by their need for a high status male and their own selfishness, i feel sorry for you. you are just another example of a broken male blaming women for your problems. the problem is you.

  • E.J.

    I don’t believe women are “only” driven by any one thing. That’s a straw-man you’ve introduced, that I don’t see written here by Rollo or any of the responses. I also don’t blame women (or anyone) for my problems. This is another assumption you’ve fabricated to take issue with.

    You seem to have some sort of an ax to grind with the manosphere, so you’ve chosen this thread to interject a lot of nonsense you have bottled up inside. I hope you can work through your personal demons.

    Personally, I have very fulfilling relationships with the women in my life (including my exes), and Rollo appears to be happily married (as does Dalrock). This idea that accepting women’s true nature leads to depression, bitterness, and woman-blaming is simply untrue, and this blog is a shining example of that.

  • G

    I’m not sure why I’m writing this post. I think I’m actually looking for advice, but even then I’m not sure.

    As I stated in a previous post on Rollo’s blog, I was pretty successful with women before taking the red pill. I’ve had may offers for no-strings-attached sex, and since taking the red pill, it seems like the attention I got in my youth was nothing compared to what was possible. If I only knew then what I know now. I’ve only been with 6 women. I’ve had a lot of sex, since a lot of the time the sex averaged 5-6 times per week, but my number count is low. By numerical standards, I’m a beta. However, that was self in-forced. I absorbed everything my ultra catholic mother had to teach about the evil of men, and everything society had to say about men in the 90s. Yeah, I’m 43, and I bought into it all. And I’m pissed. Mark Minter has nothing on me. I was a society created beta. I restrained every masculine urge I had because I bought into the idea that me were bad and women were good. Every sexual urge I suppressed. I almost always had a girlfriend, so I was getting constant sex, and thus always turned down offers from other women. But it was tame sex. If I only knew then what I know now… I’m a good looking guy, and I’m in really good shape. I always have been. I have more muscle now than I’ve ever had, and frankly, I’m still shocked at how much women are like men when it comes to looks. I put on a good solid 5-8lbs over the past 2 years, and you’d think I had become Adonis. However, when I was in my 20s, I used to get unsolicited offers from women (typically a little older than me, so it was easy to say no). Like an idiot, it never occurred to me that these women offering free sex weren’t aberrations, they were the norm. I can’t tell you how many married and unmarried women give me inappropriate attention on a regular basis. If I wasn’t so conditioned to be an honest, stick to your promises, nice guy, I could be swimming in pussy right now.

    Here’s the issue. My wife and I had a good sex life before we had kids. It shit the bed for five years after our first kid, then, once I came across the manosphere, it has been back to our previous level – similar to when we were dating – once I went back to behaving the way I naturally behaved, and then some. I hold nothing back now.

    My wife treated me like crap after we had kids, no matter how many times I nicely told her that she was “behaving badly” It wasn’t until I became a complete asshole when she was a bitch that she stopped. Even then it was a process. I pulled out every PUA trick in the book to turn her into the wife she is now. She’s in great shape an treats me great. I throw in doses of beta when necessary, which in reality is just to make her hamster think everything is okay. However, the process of getting to this point has left me with absolutely no respect for women. Right now my wife and I get along great. But only because I’m now the asshole that I never wanted to be. I’ve become comfortable with that, but there are issues.

    Our latest issue has to do with how adventurous our sex life is. I’ve been pushing for anal sex for a while now. Not pushing hard, but tonight I finally made it clear I wanted it, under the context of talking about being more adventurous with our sex life. I’ve suspected for a while that she’s already had anal sex, because she always said no, but never with the conviction of “that’s disgusting”. So tonight I got her to confess that she’s already had anal sex and didn’t like it. She said it wasn’t comfortable.

    Let me explain my feelings on this, and I’m sure I am echoing the feelings of many men on this issue. I’m the guy that committed all my fucking resources to her. I may have been a complete idiot to commit to a raging slut, but now i want all the benefits of being committed to a slut. I want all the dirty sex I kept myself from having in my twenties because I believed everything I was programmed to believe. I don’t give a f*ck if she isn’t comfortable with it, she gave it up to some guy who gave her nothing, and I’m f*cking pissed that I have to even have the conversation. Yes, I realize that I don’t have a right to anything, and that a woman can say no if she wants, but I don’t give a fuck.

    Let me explain how I handled this. Simply forcing her to acknowledge that she’s had anal sex was a big step. I plan on using this, along with her hamster, to get her to unleash her inner slut for me. I basically told her that it’s nice that she’s had anal sex and didn’t like it, but I haven’t and that I want to try it. And that’s how we left it. The unspoken (covert – thanks Rollo) message is that if she doesn’t satisfy my desires, I might go elsewhere. And she knows I have options because women have hit on me in front of her many times over the past couple years. So much so that she started to panic about it. This, more than anything else is what changed my marriage. Yes, Rollo is right on when he talks about spinning plates, even in an LTR.

    I’m not going to lie, there are quite a few women I have giving me attention that I’d like to f*ck. I don’t come out and say this to my wife, since I realize that being that overt would backfire. However, I’m pissed enough over this issue that my immediate response is to just go ahead and fuck the other women.

    All of this anger is because I held myself back for so long thinking that women were these nice, soft, better versions of human beings. Fuck that. All women are sluts (sorry GeishaKate, nothing personal), and now I’m stuck married to one. For all I know her count is 50+ (which is actually my guess, and why I just treat her as my personal whore). Every time I read Susan Walsh trying to build a better beta, I get annoyed because I think of all the men fooled in to “manning up and marrying those sluts” (credit Dalrock). Rollo, I know Aunt Giggles is a joke to you, but please keep hammering her. The hamster runs strong in that woman. Her blog is actually worse than the feminists sites because she captures the betas who haven’t yet realized the truth of women, giving them a fairy tail place to believe the lies they were told. She sucks them in like bugs to a fly zapper. She fools herself in the process.

    I have two boys, and I plan on unleashing them on women. I plan on making sure they know what women are really about, and that unless they want kids, they should never get married. Would I like grandkids, sure, but I don’t want my boys to ever have to go through what I went through (despite it being good now). Rollo, Dalrock, and Mentu, you keep writing, because I’m sending my boys your way in 10 years.

    Mark Minter, I co-sign your diatribe.

    So, my question is to Rollo and you other guys (some of you older, of my generation), how do you get over the anger at having wasted your youth? Yeah, Rollo I know you didn’t waste yours :), but that’s how I feel. I wasted it. I had so many offers of free sex that now that I no longer have this soul-mate, monogamy-is-better/right mentality, I want to make up for that time.

    Athol, I know you read this blog as well. I need help. I can’t possibly explain the anger this whole thing has unleashed. Any advice you have is appreciated.

    Hypergamy doesn’t care,
    G

  • FuriousFerret

    @Lugov

    I thought you simply born alpha in Israel.

    I didn’t know beta could even exist over there.

    Israel, pound for pound hottest female soldiers on earth.

  • E.J.

    Dude, you’re 43. That’s only old if you’re female.

    My opinion: You haven’t wasted your youth. You’ve had a steady sex life and two sons that you actually got to raise, which is more than what most 43 year old men can say. Bang a few chicks on the side, get it out of your system (don’t tell them your real name, or let them know where you live), and enjoy your new red pill marriage.

  • Twan

    @ lugov
    not gonna lie, haven’t looked into any israeli pua stuff at all. just reading rollo, heartiste, and a few other here and there, not to mention i have a few friends that i discuss this philosophy with. you’re more than welcome to join.

    @furious
    great point. this is a completely alpha dominated society here, which makes it all the more imperative to develop your alpha tendencies. whether with women, on the street, or in business, beta’s fail here quicker than any place i’ve ever been.

  • The Association of Chronos

    @Marcellus

    I like that. I never really broke down the whole “Alpha” definition that is always left as unknown in the end but, that is a nice “Food for thought”… A damn good one

  • Wesley Dabney

    EJ,
    i never said accepting women’s true nature leads to depression.. talk about strawmen. i said not accepting your role in the bad relationships you’ve had with women does. since you have a very poor misconception of what women’s true nature, i highly doubt you have great relationships with women. perhaps they tolerate you.

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  • xsplat

    G, how you get over the anger is to fuck a lot of girls while maintaining enough of whatever intimacy you need to feel fulfilled. Hate fucking chicks won’t do it, and seeking out another round with another girl who you think is all that won’t do it. A happy middle ground where the masculine imperative in all of it’s paternal glory can find full expression will put a spring in your step.

    Just because women are not what we had hoped and expected, doesn’t mean that they aren’t in their own way useful and good. It’s not chocolate, it’s peanut butter. Peanut butter can be fine.

  • xsplat

    I know I’ve been pushing a rosy agenda here, so I should mention that I went through a hellish short marriage in my early twenties, along with a nasty divorce. And I’ve seen the dark side of women more times than I can remember.

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    [...] rather build a soul-mate, consequences be damned. So women will attempt to Build a better Beta, or tame down an Alpha, while men will attempt to turn a whore into a housewife, or vice [...]

  • casaanova

    Funny thing is the same women who want a greater beta will still, at the end of the day, look at him as a boring beta. Women understand the alpha/beta dichotomy. They may not call it that, but they know it when they see it. And if they don’t know which one you are, they’ll shit test you until they find out. Women naturally have to put you into a box (ironic huh, feminism?)

  • Mister Softee «

    [...] Upping the Alpha doesn’t mean offing the empathy. Game doesn’t mean learning sociopathy – it means learning control of one’s psychology. Most Betas find themselves miserable because they’ve been raised to believe that self-expression and open communication of emotions are the keys to successful living with women. It’s interesting that for all the understanding about how women are wired for emotion and men are wired for reason that it should be the men of the last generations who are more emotionally expressive than any preceding generation. [...]

  • Generation Alpha Widow |

    [...] order of the day is bemoaning the lack of marriageable men possessing the elusive balance of Beta with a side of Alpha. Make no mistake, the sex is still the primary associative for Girls’ predominantly female [...]

  • The Plan |

    [...] Suddenly a girl agrees to go out with him and he has no plan for a date. What this telegraphs to her is she’s agreed to a date, agreed to potential intimacy, agreed to a hypergamic assessment, with a guy who hasn’t thought past the getting a date part. His lack of a plan revealed his Beta essence – he wasn’t expecting to succeed, she detects this on a limbic level, and the context, the frame, of the date becomes one of working back from a Beta presupposition. [...]

  • Karl

    >>Would you have women go hungry, homeless and unprotected

    there’s an inifinite supply of them, so who cares?

    >>just so that you begin to look like a good alternative?

    Maybe ==you== posture yourself as the Best Provider. That is not my strategy.

    >> It stands to reason that one of the three women I’m currently ‘dating’ are at the expense of someone else’s missed opportunity.

    My missed opportunity to feed and gift them? Can you PROVE to this audience that they are ONLY dating you?

  • ImpressMe

    I’ve been reading your book, and honestly, this has made so much sense of so many things I had trouble understanding. It’s strange… a while back I was in a relationship with a girl for about a year and a half. This girl was beyond blatantly hypergamistic(word?) and I was beyond alpha, but it came to me in a different sense. It came to me in the idea that I am that which deserves my most respect, and anything that shows me less respect than I do should be done away with – without blinking an eye. I lived that life for a while. Only by the end of our relationship did I start becoming beta (worst mistake of my life) and in the snap of a fucking finger, she was done. Albeit, I was also done so the transition wasn’t hard, but the point still remains. As soon as you stop putting your respect as top priority, in anyone’s eyes including your own, you lose.

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