Dalrock had an interesting post last week – She’s the Victim – and as is the nature of Dal’s conversation the post served as the tree trunk for various branches of very interesting off-shoot discussion. Starviolet, a regular commenter (some would say troll) dropped what was a seemingly innocuous question:
“Can men really not tell when a woman doesn’t love them?”
As would be expected, the male responses to this and her followup comments ranged from mild annoyance of her naiveté to disbelief of her sincerity with regards to her “want to know.” However, her original wonderment as to whether men did in fact know when a woman doesn’t love them, I think, carries more weight than most guys (even manosphere men) realize. So I thought I’d recount my comments and the discussion here.
Can men really not tell when a woman doesn’t love them?
No, they can’t.
Why? Because men want to believe that they can be happy, and sexually satisfied, and appreciated, and loved, and respected by a woman for who he is. It is men who are the real romantics, not women, but it is the grand design of hypergamy that men believe it is women who are the romantic ones.
Hypergamy, by its nature, defines love for women in opportunistic terms, leaving men as the only objective arbiters of what love is for themselves. So yes, men can’t tell when a woman doesn’t love them, because they want to believe women can love them in the ways they think they could.
Iron Rule of Tomassi #6
Women are utterly incapable of loving a man in the way that a man expects to be lovedWomen are incapable of loving men in a way that a man idealizes is possible, in a way he thinks she should be capable of.
In the same respect that women cannot appreciate the sacrifices men are expected to make in order to facilitate their imperatives, women can’t actualize how a man would have himself loved by her. It is not the natural state of women, and the moment he attempts to explain his ideal love, that’s the point at which his idealization becomes her obligation. Our girlfriends, our wives, daughters and even our mothers are all incapable of this idealized love. As nice as it would be to relax, trust and be vulnerable, upfront, rational and open, the great abyss is still the lack of an ability for women to love Men as Men would like them to.
HeiligKo responds:
All right, I keep hoping your rule #6 is wrong, but it hasn’t proven to be. So is the big lie that men miss not that women can provide this, but that we don’t invest this energy into fellow men? That we don’t find men we can be vulnerable with, so that we are emotionally prepared for the trials that women will create in our homes. Is this why so many women tend to isolate their husbands or boyfriends from their male friends early on in marriage or dating?
Presuming Starviolet was genuinely confused (and I’m half-inclined to think she is) this is exactly the source of Starviolet’s confusion. Women’s solipsism prevents them from realizing that men would even have a differing concept of love than how a woman perceives love. Thus her question, “can men really not tell when a woman doesn’t love them?”
I don’t necessarily think it’s a ‘big lie’, it’s just a lack of mutuality on either gender’s concept of love. If it’s a ‘lie’ at all it’s one men prefer to tell themselves.
Bridging the Gap
Later in the discussion Jacquie (who is one of the two female writers to make my blogroll) brought up another interesting aspect of bridging the lack of mutuality between either gender’s concepts of love:
If it is beyond what a woman is capable of, therefore even if a woman recognizes this incapacity in herself, is there no way to compensate? What if a woman truly desires to try to move beyond this? Does she just consider it a hopeless matter and do nothing? Or is it something she should strive for continuously with the hope that she can at least move somewhat closer to this idealized love? Is it even too much for her to comprehend?
As I was telling HeligKo, it’s more a lack of mutuality on either gender’s concept of love. Starviolet’s question about whether a man can determine when a woman doesn’t love him goes much deeper than she’s aware of. I think a lot of what men go through in their blue pill beta days – the frustration, the anger, the denial, the deprivation, the sense that he’s been sold a fantasy that no woman has ever made good upon – all that is rooted in a fundamental belief that some woman, any woman, out there knows just how he needs to be loved and all he has to do is find her and embody what he’s been told she will expect of him when he does.
So he finds a woman, who says and shows him that she loves him, but not in the manner he’s had all this time in his head. Her love is based on qualifications and is far more conditional than what he’d been led to believe, or convinced himself, love should be between them. Her love seems duplicitous, ambiguous, and seemingly, too easily lost in comparison to what he’d been taught for so long is how a woman would love him when he found her.
So he spends his monogamous efforts in ‘building their relationship’ into one where she loves him according to his concept, but it never happens. It’s an endless tail-chase of maintaining her affections and complying with her concept of love while making occasional efforts to draw her into his concept of love. The constant placating to her to maintain her love conflicts with the neediness of how he’d like to be loved is a hypergamic recipe for disaster, so when she falls out of love with him he literally doesn’t know that she no longer loves him. His logical response then is to pick up the old conditions of love she had for him when they first got together, but none of that works now because they are based on obligation, not genuine desire. Love, like desire, cannot be negotiated.
It took me a long time, and was a very tough part of my own unplugging when I finally came to terms with what I thought about love and how it’s conveyed isn’t universal between the genders. It took some very painful slap-in-the-face doses of reality for this to click, but I think I have a healthier understanding of it now. It was one of the most contradictory truths I had to unlearn, but it fundamentally changed my perspective of the relations I have with my wife, daughter, mother and my understanding of past girlfriends.
If it is beyond what a woman is capable of, therefore even if a woman recognizes this incapacity in herself, is there no way to compensate? What if a woman truly desires to try to move beyond this? Does she just consider it a hopeless matter and do nothing?
I don’t think it’s necessarily impossible, but it would take a woman to be self-aware enough that men and women have different concepts of their ideal love to begin with, which is, improbable. The biggest hurdle isn’t so much in women recognizing this, but rather in men recognizing it themselves. So, hypothetically, yes you could, but the problem then becomes one of the genuineness of that desire. Love, like desire, is only legitimate when it’s uncoerced and unobligated. Men believe in love for the sake of love, women love opportunistically. It’s not that either subscribe to unconditional love, it’s that both gender’s conditions for love differ.
May 6th, 2014 at 11:02 pm
[…] and a book written, my three most popular posts have been the Love series – Women in Love, Men in Love and Of Love and War. Though my SMV graph gets the most link backs, these are easily the most viewed […]
May 16th, 2014 at 11:52 am
I think there is a degree of truth to what you propose, but I also feel you’re making an awful lot of generalizations.
What about a woman who for example, deals with mental illness, like bipolar. Who hasn’t been given much of a chance to recieve love from others. Who lives under a stigma that she’s not worthy of that love cause of her mental problems. Who isn’t in a possition to CHOOSE a man based on qualifications, but unstead, if she seeks a steady successful relationship, must settle for whatever man possessing the traits necessary to endure such a relationship?
Perhaps it’s still qualification, but it’s a differen kind of qualification.
I think the biggest problem with your ideas is that you present them as a flaw of the female gender, but I think men are justvas capable of this… Dilema. I’ve met women who do indeed love their partner for who he is and what he brings into her life. People are motivated by different things, and we’re all conditioned differently. The way you sorta condemn the female gender for not being able to love men as a man can love a woman is a bit misogynist tbh. Because again, it blames the gender for what’s actually a social problem. One which is brought about by our modern decaying society.
What you’re essentially saying is that true love can’t exist, and that it’s all women’s fault. To me, that jyst sounds like what a hopeless jaded person would say…
May 21st, 2014 at 11:48 am
I agree with you Kate.
I am going out from a painful love story, in which for the first time after meeting dozens of women I thought to have found the real love. It was true, but some complications and In my opinion , not enough experience and belief from the other partner, put this love to an end.
I must say that there were so many things in which we were compatible, what you define as “sexy”, but in the end I loved her soul.
And her soul is something that still expresses itself on a wheelchair.
I loved the person and because of this I suffered when I saw unexpected decisions, unexpected situations that ended our story.
I must also say that great part of this feeling was also generated by her looks, but what I found really unique about her was not what I was looking at but what I was feeling.
July 1st, 2014 at 5:37 pm
[…] want in terms of love and relationships and what women are able to provide. (read this[1] , then this[2] , then this[3] for more detail) Taking the red pill involves the understanding and acceptance […]
July 1st, 2014 at 8:45 pm
[…] Besides not playing the game, what he did wrong was allowed her to be seen as the boss. He, was not her boyfriend in that moment. He, became a extra and prop in her movie. You see, women complain when the relationship turns into a business but, they are very unaware of the regularity that they are accustomed to 24/7. Even if you are not in the 9-10 category as far as women are concern. They still receive treatment that they have taken as reality over once and still is a idea. Like I pointed out in my last post with the help of this video right here from Patrice Oneal around the 4:50 mark. We men have made a reality that is separate from what really is going on outside of women’s world. Now, this is not a post to bash women or make it seem like I am angry with them no. This is me addressing concrete common sense when you really look at things objectively. Romance and love is a idea that we are invested in more than a woman is. Which is why I think they are the more logical sex when it comes to that context. My cousin wonders why his wife doesn’t do the things she does before in the beginning. Its simple, she is doing what she was suppose to do. Marriage started out as simply a arrangement. Love and “La la happy forever!” is something that we as men invested in with movies, songs, novels, poems, letters, etc. She is doing what she is suppose to do. If you want her to do those others things you most follow the script that makes her happy. If you want to do a different movie you are in for a shock. Compliments, speeding tickets gone, gifts, special treatment, government help, etc. Now, I am not saying women are not deserving of this no. Some women really do need help. I get that. What I am saying is they take what is and always will be a idea and have now accepted it as fact as gravity and death. […]
July 23rd, 2014 at 5:58 pm
Oh god…I’ve been dating my girlfriend for eight months and I thought she was wonderul and everything in our relationship was perfect…but now I’m scared to stay with her because of somehing like this happening. And I’m only 15!
August 8th, 2014 at 12:12 pm
I think your comment about men being the real romantics is ethnocentric. When I travel to South America it is the exact opposite the ideal for women is beauty and extreme loving. A girl might say she is very “entregada” which means delivered, she might call her boyfriend “mi vida” (my life), and tell him “eso es todo tuya” pointing out her body(this is all yours)..They tend to fall in love quickly and deeply. Men there aren’t happy unless they have 4 gfs. When the men say romantic things its just game to get a girl and when he has the girl he tends to treat her badly, unless she leaves at which point he is begging for her to come back and treating her well again. I think feminisim and success are what changed the culture here, if you look at all the countries that have failed hard and repeatedly in wars(Germany, Russia, Colombia with internal warring), usually along with failed economies, and there you will find the hottest, and best attitude girls in the world. Look at the economic and militarily successful countries(US, Spain-20% of men marry foreigners, England), P ..fugly feminist who won’t give a good man the time of day “what have you done for me lately?”..
August 8th, 2014 at 12:17 pm
The simple fact is that what women consider ‘romantic’ or a romantic gesture is still defined by what a man does to create it for her.
Women do not generate romance, men do, even when they’re oblivious to creating it.
September 9th, 2014 at 4:51 pm
oh man… oh my… I have been searching for answers for half a year, always came back to thinking about what happenned and thinking about love and man – woman partnership in general. And THIS IS IT! This is exactly about what happened and jesus christ after half a year I finally understand! It is hard to accept this, it feels like giving up on ideals but man, there is so much truth in this. So seriously, thank you for granting me peace!
September 10th, 2014 at 7:08 am
[…] Men in Love […]
September 15th, 2014 at 5:35 pm
This is written by someone who does not know unconditional love and I am sad for him, and I am sad that he assumes that all women are this way. I loved a man so deeply and so unconditionally that he could do no wrong. There were no conditions, and he could do no wrong. I made all the money, but would have happily given it all up and lived in a shoebox for him. I thought everything he did and said was fantastic. I caught him cheating on me, and still I forgave. We went to counseling and I still loved him. He cheated again, and again, until my heart was so shattered that I could not take the pain. But, yes, I loved him through it all because I could not stop. I still do. But, yes, I walked away.
September 15th, 2014 at 7:10 pm
So,…
That was your condition for love then?
October 6th, 2014 at 8:47 am
Rational Male(s),
First sorry for my keyboart.
Please. I’m a woman & I kan’t keep reating feminist shit blaming men for all their problems & I’m not able to tigest the female bashing in this either, ewen if it’s supportet by the experinkes of many negatiwe maskulists ( like feminists ). :-)
There are few kouples in the worlt that experienke true love for many reasons. so in those kouples, the women blame the men & men blame women. You’re all talking like none of the women in your life work, the onus of earning is all on the man & when he stops, women stop loving him, so women only like the man as he earns her breat ? . Is this a blog from the 17th kentury ?
also, in many houses the women are not apprekiatet that they earn equal to the man plus take kare of the householt khores more than the man. if they fall ill, the men in their life won’t kare for them that mukh as she’s praktikally “useless” for him anymore.
I also saw where women just use men for money, like what the post says, but it’s not ALL women.
both are wrong if they apply to it a whole genter.
I know a kouple ( the woman is a housewife ), the man got tiabetes after 28 yrs of their marital life, his wife woult not ask for a kostly gift from him in their 28 yrs of marital life.He too spent most of his money on books, learning & on poor people helping them to stuty.( He’s a professor himself ). They are in love as mukh as they were when they got marriet, got 2 offsprings.
Now the man got a kitney problem, he neglekts it & fokusses on work.finally he loses his work ( he fell too ill to work anymore ). the woman has to spent the few sawings on his treatment, plus sell her parents property share for the treatment.she’s left with 0 money. Yet all she wants is for him to get a kure, taking kare of him 24 hrs without sleep for weeks. finally she lost him.
she wasn’t unhappy that he left her with no money, but that he’s no more.
I know women with huspants who lost work or kan’t work for many reasons like illness or poor market. These women earn plus also take kare of householt khores & stay true to their men in their low times as well.
if you want to argue this way, there will also be an argument that men only like women who look beautiful. we know there r exkeptions to this. there are also exkeptions to the women only like men for their earning.
please stop spewing wenom on a whole genter ‘koz you kame akross what 30 women this way formulating your own theories explaining a whole genter ? I kame akross men who kan be labellet jerks, but i won’t kall all men jerks for this.
I earn my liwing & I won’t marry a man so my “earning” will inkrease, but only if I kan like him for his true kharakter. there are few but genuine women who kan love men the way they want, like there are few men who are kapable of loving women they want.
yes, there are few. be patient to fint them.
October 6th, 2014 at 8:50 pm
[…] Men in Love September 10, 2012 link […]
October 7th, 2014 at 7:42 pm
[…] Women in Love, Men in Love […]
November 21st, 2014 at 8:58 am
[…] Most men’s concept of intimacy, like love, is shaped by his Blue Pill conditioning. The key to real intimacy is understanding how it can grow and be sustained in a Red Pill context. Chasing after an intimacy defined by the feminine suffers from the same misdirection of presuming women’s concept of love (opportunism) agrees with men’s (idealism). […]
November 22nd, 2014 at 3:58 am
So basically you don’t know how to make a woman happy.
November 23rd, 2014 at 9:54 pm
[…] I wrote Women in Love and the followups, Men in Love and Of Love and War, I described men’s concept of love as […]
December 1st, 2014 at 5:28 pm
Okay, both texts (Women In Love and Men In Love) are about how women will not love men the way men wanted women to love them. No text talk about how men also don’t love women the way they wanted men to love them. How both have ridiculous expectations and are too blind to see each other as humans, flawed as themselves.
Men are the ones that leave their wives when sick the most. Men won’t love women when they become ill, and women wish men would do that. Men will not love a woman they don’t find “sexy enough” – even when he isn’t sexy at all as well and actually already out of her league, her already being more attractive them him… but he still wishes she would be even more beautiful, cause he believe he deserves more. Women wanted men to love them for their values and heart the most, but men won’t do that. So you see, that goes both ways.
So course, I’m generalizing here. There are actually MANY men that would never leave their wives when their wives become ill and aren’t entitled and judge women’s appearance that harshly, living in an imaginary world where women are more valuable the more they look like models. Just like there are plenty of women who would never subscribe to that “opportunistic” garbage. Both can be hypergamous when looking for someone much more intelligent, rich, attractive, etc. but there are plenty of men and women who are fair enough.
December 1st, 2014 at 6:10 pm
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/10357829/Why-do-women-initiate-divorce-more-than-men.html
December 3rd, 2014 at 9:09 pm
Hello,
I’m a woman and I’m really surprised to read all of these comments and to read this article! I’m very surprised, because, I have actually come to the conclusion, due to past hurtful experiences, that men do not want to be loved! Because the minute that I show affection, deep loyalty to a man— he changes! He starts acting like I’m around to pay for all the hurt that other women in the past did to him! It’s so frightening! I am really surprised to read all of this stuff here, because it’s so opposite to what I’ve known and the conclusion I’ve come down to. I concluded that you can’t let yourself fall in love with a man, because the moment that you do— that’s the moment that you lose his desire and attention. It’s like a man doesn’t want to be loved; a man just wants to chase and feel like he’s not good enough. And that’s it. I think that a lot of women have had my experience, too. For example, there are quite a few relationship gurus that give advice to women who’s relationships have fallen through because the men just stopped! Stopped caring, stopped loving, stopped trying… I can’t speak for them or for how they treated their men… but what I can say for myself is that I have been hurt whenever I have begun to truly love selflessly. I do not agree that all women love opportunistically. My mother was the bread winner in our family and my father cheated on her while sitting at the table eating her homecooked meals. It’s not true that all women are incapable; that is just something that someone decided when he became so fed up with his own experiences that he decided to mark off the whole female race as being like it, so he could then reassure himself that it is of no fault on his part.
xxoxo,
Vera
January 2nd, 2015 at 1:49 pm
[…] in Love Men in Love Of Love and War Burden of Performance Love […]
January 4th, 2015 at 7:50 am
I was married for 29 years to a man who got hurt before we got married and couldn’t work again. I stuck by his side, he made the decisions and I worked every day teaching kindergarten.
All I asked was that when I got home for him to just smile at me and treat me well.
Mostly he started in on something negative as soon as I walked through the door.
He was passive aggressive to me and finally after 29 years my love for him took a nose dive and I couldn’t take it any more.
Just wondering…. does this fit in the mode of what I am hearing on this post?
I don’t feel at all like the woman who are talked about here.
January 26th, 2015 at 1:58 pm
I feel for a lot of the men posting their reflections of this article. Though, I’d like to say, as from a females prospective, that women can love unconditionally. However, just as there are few men who can love unconditionally there are few women who can do that. I also think that to love “unconditionally” takes years of sacrificing for each other and being truly best friends and communicating through your flaws and seeing/accepting each other’s imperfections and working through them. Then again. What do I know! I’m only 18 and am Keeping my fingers crossed for a relationship/ marriage/ mate like that!
February 11th, 2015 at 12:27 pm
It’s always hilarious to read these comments left by women who don’t agree (and they always have the same defense or excuse)….NAWALT (Not all women are like that).
Yet, the feminist imperative has taught women (over decades) that men are all the same, right? Give me a break. I know some of this stuff (red pill) is hard for men to swallow and come to grips with – after being fed a lifetime of what I consider ‘lies’. But, listening to women (and watching the hamster spin) is too entertaining.
March 14th, 2015 at 9:01 pm
Dear Bitter Males,
Buck up, please, and get over yourselves. I’ve read many interesting comments from you fellas regarding your love of the “feeling” she gave you or “herself,” how disillusioned you are to find her love imperfect, how far you crash to the earth. Are you still in love with these women? Still? Just as much? No?
So there are at least these basic conditions to your love. You loved her as long as you believed she loved you unconditionally. Regardless of your flaws or her flaws. Did you love her flaws? If you say yes you are lying to yourself.
I mean the little things that disappointed or irritated you when your relationship was even at its best. You loved her, but not her flaws. Somehow you expected something greater from her. You expected her to love you and your flaws. To love you for them, even.
Humans do not love that way. We were not built for it.
We were build with an evolutionary imperative to survive. Biologically we do not seek out weak mates. Men and women BOTH seek out mates that they admire, that they want on their team, that they trust enough to build a home with. If all of the traits you admire in her (they don’t have to be physical) went out the door you would not still love her. She would have changed from the person you promised to love forever into someone unrecognizable. The same with women.
Love and lasting relationships take HARD WORK, on both sides. If one person gives up, it can be nearly impossible for the other person to find the motivation to keep striving. From the rancor I’ve read under this article, I’m guessing some guys found themselves in this situation. I’m not saying “not all women” and I’m not saying “not all men.”
I’m saying get over yourself because you are an imperfect human being incapable of loving or being loved perfectly.
Trying to love or giving up on love is everyone’s choice, but for God’s sake stop whining about it ya pansy. Long-term love is TOUGH. It takes mental and moral fortitude to make long term relationships work. I’m sorry you didn’t find it in your partner. Blaming just one gender for a human condition, and giving up on love altogether simply lets the rest of us know that you aren’t tough enough to hack love either.
So, yes, stand aside. Let stronger men than you step forward into the breach. Many will be hurt, some will be betrayed, but some will find that love worth striving for.
March 15th, 2015 at 2:46 pm
Very interesting discussions on a topic that needs to be stripped and examined in the cold light of truth. A lot of the discussion concerns defining the slippery, mercurial concept of “love.” What many have managed to dismantle–correctly, in my view–is the concomitant relationship of “love” with “being happy.” Bingo, gentlemen…the “love” part is contingent upon the “happiness” part.
I render it to something as simple as this: if you don’t understand what constitutes happiness FOR YOURSELF, there is no way you will be able to participate in or derive “love” while in a relationship; in other words, happiness comes from within. I’d even parse it further: it’s the ability to find SATISFACTION in human interactions that leads to the security of self-confidence and esteem that moves a human being into a higher plane of consciousness. Psychologist Abraham Maslow wrote extensively about this in his discussion of a hierarchy, a progression of needs that moves the human animal from that of survival behavior alone to that of deeply profound conceptual pursuits that free mankind from the binds of groveling and competing, and moves us into transcendence.
While I believe some women have managed to move into a transcendental framework, clearly the enormous majority is stuck in survival-need to be respected-need to feel a part of something existence.
April 8th, 2015 at 12:08 am
Wow… what an eye opening read. I have been lost in the Blue world my whole life. Almost everything I have read here has pegged me to the core. My confusions and misunderstandings. My inability to recognize the reality of differences between the sexes pertaining to their views on Love, being Loved and reciprocating Love and other needs of a relationship. I am shocked at my own brain washed uneducated view of relationships. Funny thing is that the answers were always staring me in the face. Thanks to everyone so much for your comments and insights. You are so correct. We all have our filters. What helped me the most is Learning the concept of the Blue Pill/Red Pill. What a way to articulate such a complex and ever transitioning topic as Unconditional Love and the capacity or incapacity thereof to attain such a goal. As of today I am now enjoying a whole new view of women and myself. But I am saddened as well. I began to think about the time wasted in this mind set and how I am going to have to relearn a lot of things. Wow wow wow. We truly are creatures of habit and easily influenced. It’s going be a struggle to get my head out of Blue and into Red.
I have always been a give all type of man. Kind hearted, passionate, giving of myself first, going the extra extra mile for the one I Love… With my children it’s a no brainer but my relationships have been a living nightmare. And OMG the expectations I had for relationships where @@#$&#^”d up. I truly believed in the win/win scenario for LTR. I have sacrificed my passions, talents, monies, health and my years for a Concept?? How messed up is that? Everything I have read here pertaining to how women view Love is 100% Correct and based on my experiences to boot. To know that I “Missed it” all this time is not inly depressing but the more I read the more my heart sank into my stomach. I literally became sick with the realization that I cannot believe I waited this long to really look for answers on the subject.
FYI I am a 43 year old male, divorced twice and remarried again. My prior 2 marriages (ended by me) were wrought with selfishness, deceit, dishonesty, vanity, narcissistic behavior and in the end infidelity and greed. I have recognized that I was open to this happening because of my giving nature and the expectations I had for reciprocation. One thing I have learned about women (and I’m sure can apply to men as well) is that “in the beginning how they represent themselves is NOT who they are” when faced with the necessity of finding a suitable man. Of course there are many factors in my previous statement that qualify the comment.
I AM NOT SPEAKING FOR ALL WOMEN HERE… With that said please read on :)
Women are looking for equality, status, support, and security first (more so single mothers) and then intimacy with the exception of the one night stand or FWB scenario and even then if the man and mood strikes her right she may switch on the love electricity. Attraction, usually being the first qualifier for both sexes yet for different reasons, is just the beginning. Romance and Love for women are only a prerequisite during courtship and later discarded as a non necessity to keeping a relationship solvent. I have experienced this in my past marriages and am currently experiencing it in my current marriage. They (women) behave in such a manner that leads a man to believe they are what they appear—-“what he is looking for”— if he suits her. I have yet to meet (date) a woman who, after getting to know her through time, genuinely presented herself (like and dislikes, formidable opinions etc) in a true fashion. All of them gave me what they intuitively knew I was looking for on top of what I communicated verbally I was looking for.
I am not discounting the possibility of emotional reflection (mirroring) or self imposition of a mans wants onto a potential mate. In fact this happens a vast majority of the time with both sexes. The problem is that women are so damned intuitive and they know (I would even argue to say its biologically ingrained) that men are running on their hormones during this time. If the need is strong enough to find someone she becomes what he wants for a while. A courtship if you will. Women will do things (even things they SECRETLY DO NOT ENJOY) to keep the interest of the man they want as long as it takes to get them committed. Unfortunately the vast majority of us men do not have the mental fortitude (Horse sense), experience and many times Patience to stick it out long enough to see a person for who they are.
I will leave you with this——– After reading this blog I felt a sigh of relief that I had been searching for years to attain——“UNDERSTANDING”…
April 8th, 2015 at 1:06 am
@Todd, welcome and thanks